ChildFree Hardcore

Debrained Breeders and Crispy Kids

2008-10-13T07:24:51Z

I've been sitting here watching a show on the History Channel, Last Days on Earth, where they talk about all the possible ways the world could end. One of the ways discussed was an asteroid impact. It was said that we could have as much as seven years advance warning of such an impact in which case if countermeasures didn't work, many people would have a countdown to their own end. When a selection of people were asked what they would do if they got such news, three or four said,

"Oh, I'd have children."
"I'd want to have kids as soon as possible."
"I'd want to have a couple kids right away."

My reaction was something along the lines of,"WHAT THE (insert loud, long, highly-sacreligious, invective-filled Tourette's moment of your choice here) IS THEIR GLITCH?!?!" Yeah, BRILLIANT idea. Pass on your genes one last time knowing that your kid may live to be about five or six before they die a rather horrid, fiery death. Good idea. Have 'em knowing their lives are going to be extremely short and end in an exceedingly brutal fashion. Those remarks qualified those people for immediate mandatory castration in my book. Now if only that were really possible.

Then again, they're breeders. Nobody can really expect anything intelligent to come out of people with kids on the brain that badly. Further evidence that the brains of the majority of parents get shot out of their joy departments when they breed.

Just checking in...

2008-10-13T02:43:00Z

Hi everyone - while I have been of the CF mindset for some time now, I just found and joined this community tonight. There's more to my post than just a hello, though...

A moment ago I posted in my own personal journal about not wanting to have kids, a topic that was on my mind after reading the wiki childfree article tonight. Shortly after posting, I found a nasty comment in my inbox from burunduk_chip.

Is this some sort of CF troll? Just curious. You can read the exchange here if you are so inclined.

Otherwise, it's nice to know other people feel the way I do!
Carry on and have a lovely childfree day!

Amusement park entitlement

2008-10-12T23:37:34Z

My friend, her sister and her sister's friend went to an amusement park yesterday that does scary things on the weekends leading up to/including halloween. It was mostly a fun time, but these two incidents stuck out as absolute entitlement:

Exhibit A: on the carousel, which goes up to around 15mph, there was a boy who looked to be about 10. Before the ride started he was being stupid, sitting on the horse's head, sitting on his knees in the saddle--we thought maybe he was going to fall. Moomy was next to him and didn't say a word. The ride started. During the ride, he kept reaching over to moomy, to shove her, or swat at her, hell I don't know, but she would just ineffectively push his arms away. By this time my friends and I are wondering if we should say something, but then he STANDS UP ON THE HORSE, DURING THE RIDE.

We couldn't believe it. We thought he might sit down or at least that moomy would have to say something NOW. But no. Not a word. We all screamed, "SIT DOWN!" and he just looked at us. Then my friend's sister shouted:

"SIT THE FUCK DOWN! YOU'RE GOING TO FALL AND YOU'RE GOING TO GET THE RIDE STOPPED, SO QUIT ACTING LIKE A FUCKING FIVE YEAR OLD AND SIT THE FUCK DOWN!" He scowled at us but listened to her. Moomy glared at us but didn't say anything. Stupid fuck got the ride stopped early :( anyway because right after that the operator stopped the ride. She didn't say anything either which I kinda thought was odd.

Exhibit B: We're walking through the park, and this moo with a huge stroller is barreling at us. Mind you, we're kind of sandwiched in, so my friend has no room to move, but moo does, so my friend stopped, figuring that moo could go around her. Does she? No. She just barreled into my friend and ran over her foot, and when my friend said, "woah, damn!" not even loudly, moo snapped, "EXCUSE ME?!?" Let's not even get into how much of a bang-on parenting job she is doing, using a huge stroller as a battering ram at 10 pm heading to the haunted attractions that specifically say are not suitable for young children. UGH. Stupid cow.

Other than those unfortunate incidences, though, we had fun!

cf_hardcore @ 2008-10-12T17:34:00

2008-10-12T22:42:11Z

I posted about this in the comments of another entry, but then I thought it warrented it's own post.
Here's my problem.
One of my closest friends is about to have her 4th(!) baby. I know she plans on breastfeeding it. I would be so very, very uncomfortable sitting there holding a conversation with her while she has an infant attached to her tit. It would creep me out entirely. However, since almost all of our socializing is done at her house (due to the fact that she has all these fucking kids and can never get sitters for them), what do I do when she pulls one out? She will, too. Believe me. She has no modesty. Every day she shows me new bare belly shots.
Can I even ask her to refrain from doing it in my presence if I'm at her house? That just seems beyond rude. I can't really think of any solutions other than to just suck it up or avoid her for a year or so.
Advice? Please?

Straight to Hell.

2008-10-12T21:49:13Z

Recently someone close to me passed away, so today I went to church, and after the proceedings were finished, I stuck around to meditate. I was sitting there with my eyes closed, focusing on my deceased relative, when all of a sudden I felt someone run into me. I opened my eyes and saw four 3rd-5th grade children running through the pews playing tag while their precious mommies gabbed in the front, barely even glancing at their stupid kids. I tried to go back to meditating, but they were very loud and when one of the boys ran into me again, I decided to get up to talk to the mothers.

M: Me
E1: Entitlemoo 1
E2: Entitlemoo 2

M: Excuse me, are those your kids running around? (I'm trying to be nice here because I just want to get back to meditating.)
E1: Yeah...?
M: Well... it looks like some people are trying to pray and they're being a little loud. (As soon as I say this E1 and E2's eyes glare.)
E1: A little loud? They're just kids!
M: Yeah, but they're disrupting people.
E1: They're not disrupting anyone. (As girl knocks over a woman's cane that was resting against the pew.)
M: They obviously are. Can't just tell your kids to calm down a little?
E2: Have you ever had children?! This is what they do!!!
M: Then can't they do it a little softer?
E1: No! This is just as much my church as it is yours, and my children have the right to make as much noise as they want to in it!
M: (By this point I'm just pissed off and want them to leave.) And I have the right to tell your kids to shut up when they get too loud!
E1: How dare you talk to my children like that!
M: You let your kids run around like wild animals! How dare you raise your children like that!
E1&E2: (Pissed off and yelling to their children.) We're leaving, now! Let's go! This man doesn't want us here! etc.

And just as I thought I was done with it: as they were leaving, the boy who looked to be the oldest passed by me, put a smug look on his face... and kicked me in the shin!!! And E1 was watching and did nothing about it!!!

All these people are going straight to Hell.

Palin Gets Booed!

2008-10-12T20:30:31Z

I know this isn't exactly about children but it's about Palin, the person who wants to take away woman's rights so I thought that others might get a kick out of this. She's got her kid there with her, so it's kind of children related. If it's not appropriate feel free to delete this if you'd like mods.

http://sports.yahoo.com/nhl/blog/puck_daddy/post/Video-Palin-meets-boos-cheers-and-deafening-mu?urn=nhl,114276

Hoofing it

2008-10-12T13:17:57Z

Below someone asked me where to go instead of donating. I've compiled a list of links for people who want to donate time to defeat some of the initiatives I described below:

http://noonprop8.com/page/?id=0049 - NO on Prop 8 (California)

http://www.ppgg.org/site/c.esJMKZPKJtH/b.4493183/apps/ka/ct/contactus.asp?c=esJMKZPKJtH&b=4493183&en=emI0JeMWJiIQI8PUKeJWLoM2JmI7JfNULkL5IrMeE -- No on Prop 4 (Parental consent for abortion, California)

http://www.ppgg.org/site/c.esJMKZPKJtH/b.1247775/apps/cf/jobsoffered/list.asp?category_bin_id={E689512C-23B5-4ADB-BCD9-6C698D725570} - Volunteering opportunities for PP Golden Gate (San Francisco)

http://www.sdhealthyfamilies.org/pages/whats_happening_in_your_area -- South Dakota Abortion Ban

http://www.prochoicecolorado.org/ballotwatch.shtml -- NARAL against embryo personhood craziness in Colorado

A short but angry rant

2008-10-11T18:01:53Z

Dear Breeder bitch in the shop.

Contrary to your misguided viewpoint that your child can do no wrong, the little turd was in fact running around screaming in the store while you completely ignored its bratty antics and crashed into my leg.

I did not attack your child. Yes she was crying afterward but that is because impacting into a walking stick and a kneecap probably did hurt her head. What you failed to realise is that her bump to the head was of a pain level infinitely small compared to the agony an arthritic person feels when someone smashes straight into an inflamed joint.

So no, I didn't apologise and the fact you got angry over me refusing to do so merely confirms my view that you are a disgustingly crap parent who is probably raising Entitlement Brat of the Year 2008. Keep your kid on reins next time if you can't control her and learn that your kid does actually HAVE to take responsibility for her actions.

No love,
The disabled woman your kid smashed into.

Cat fountains?

2008-10-11T15:52:00Z

I'm not sure if this is the right comm for this question, but we talk about our furry friends a lot and I was hoping you could help!

I have two cats. One of them is huge. He's not fat, just a very large cat. The other is a marginally smaller but still big calico (she's 11 lbs. Not fat, the vet said she's in perfect condition.) We've changed their food to a more protein-rice diet, and the vet recommended that we ensure they get more water with the new diet. We have two dishes of water, but the calico seems to much prefer hanging out in the tub and licking the water from the faucet, and the other cat is so big that he has to lie down in order to drink. So, we're thinking about getting one of those pet fountains. The only problem is there's a ton of them, with tons of different features and lots of price points!

Do any of you use a water fountain for your cats? Can you recommend one? What do you like about it? How much did you pay for it?

Thanks so much!

Xposted.

kids and pets, ad nauseum

2008-10-11T15:15:45Z

The post earlier got me thinking about how some people seem to NOT teach their kids how to act around animals. I can't tell you how many times I've been walking a dog (mine or somebody else's) and some kid will either eagerly run up and squeal and stick their hands into the dog's face and scare the crap out of him, or be so terrified of the dog themselves that they sit there SHRIEKING like somebody is disemboweling them with a spatula--which also scares the dog. I usually try to give the kid a brief lesson on Pet Approaching 101, but it's not MY responsibility to teach them these things. It's their parent's responsibility!

It's not that hard to teach a kid to behave around an animal. For example, "petting" an animal is done gently, with an open hand. Not pulling their fur, or smacking them. Don't touch an animal's face--they can be pretty spooky around their heads and faces. (Even if your animal ISN'T, it's a good idea to teach a kid not to bugger around a dog's face.) Screaming or shrieking around an animal is NOT acceptable--it scares them. Backing away, running away, tail between the legs, and hissing/woofing is a sign that they don't want to be bothered, and you shouldn't approach them. Never EVER pet an animal without first asking the owner if it's okay.

"Oh, we don't have pets so there's no reason to teach Sprogleigh these things!" is NOT an excuse. I never had a pet growing up--well, nothing more complicated than a fish. But my mother taught us how to behave around pets because we were going to have contact with OTHER PEOPLE'S animals, and knowing how to behave around them is a life skill, just like any other.

And if you CAN'T, for whatever reason, teach your kid how to behave properly around pets--KEEP A CLOSE EYE ON YOUR KID AT ALL TIMES. The last thing I need is to get sued or have somebody try to have my dog--or worse, a client's dog!--ordered put down because they didn't keep an eye on their kid and the kid scared the crap out of a dog who then defended himself by nipping the kid's hand.

Politics roundup

2008-10-11T14:25:31Z

Here's an overview of the wackjobbery on States' ballots this fall. If you have a couple of cents to rub together please think about donating to oppose one of these initatives. With so much attention understandably focused on the national election, anti-initiative groups in Colorado, California, and South Dakota are hurting. Out of state money does help -- just see the Mormon Church's backing of Prop 8 (Anti-gay marriage). And right now, they're winning in California on Prop 8, so if you're in Cali don't feel that NO is winning on Prop 8, it isn't! Recent polls show a shift and it is now a majority for YES.

Here are the anti-reproductive health initiatives:

Colorado: an initiative on the ballot that would amend the state constitution to grant due process and equality of justice rights to embryos from the moment of fertilization. The anti-choice petitioners there are asking for an amendment to the state constitution that would define a fertilized egg as a person, thereby outlawing abortion in all cases and even outlawing many types of birth control, such as IUDs and the Pill.

South Dakota: is facing another outrageous attempt to ban most abortions. In 2006, South Dakota voters rejected an extreme attempt to ban abortion services in all cases. The people behind that attempt are back this year with another sweeping ban.

California: it's the extremists' third go in four years at trying to interfere with teens' health and safety by mandating parental notification.

Please consider donating even a little to get the ground game on our side. The SD ban was BARELY defeated last time. This is an extremely dangerous challenge to Roe, as it is written to go to SCOTUS -- do not pass go, do not collect $100. The Colorado embryo humping is absolutely outrageous and it needs to be ground into the dirt.

Victory for Victoria!

2008-10-11T10:26:04Z

X-posted to childfree

Wahey! Looks like the Victorian Parliament, following a marathon sitting has managed to push through the bill to decriminalise abortion!

Story Here

fter a marathon sitting week, the Victorian Parliament has finally passed legislation to decriminalise abortion.

The Upper House debated the bill for four consecutive days and nights, and last night a final vote was counted. It passed 23 votes to 17.

All amendments were rejected, including a proposal to exempt doctors who object to abortions from having to refer their patients onwards.

Abortion will now be removed from the Crimes Act and a woman can freely choose to terminate a pregnancy up to 24 weeks gestation. Late term abortions will require the consent of two doctors.

Women's Affairs Minister Maxine Morand says it is an historic moment.

"We now have clarity and certainty for women and health practitioners in Victoria and that is fundamentally and incredibly important," she said.

She says the lengthy parliamentary debate may be the longest in history.

"It'd be hard to find a bill that has been debated as long as this in the history of the Victorian Parliament," she said.

"I might even have a look at what we can compare it with, but it's certainly a unique moment in time."

Liberal MP Wendy Lovell says she is relieved abortion is no longer a crime.

"It's actually historic that it's happened in October 2008, because it was October 1908 that women were given the vote," she said.

"So 100 years later, women have again won the right to be in control of their own bodies."

Both sides of the parliamentary debate praised the respect and restraint shown by the other side.

Of course - the Catholic Church has gotten up on their high horse over it

Catholic Auxiliary Bishop of Melbourne, Christopher Prowse says, the passing of the law is a betrayal of women with unwanted pregnancies.

"It's not supporting them, it's just offering them just abortion options, which is the absolute last resort to them," he said.

"They're looking for other options. There's 20,000 abortions in Victoria, and it gives no hope that that disastrous number will be decreased by passing such a disastrous law."

Fucking...hypocritcal, misogynistic ARSE....*Throws things*

On the other hand! Hurrah for progress! *Skip*

Sterilization article

2008-10-10T23:20:25Z

Granted, this article is from the DailyFail, but the comments are more supportive than you might think.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1076094/Why-I-like-hundreds-young-women-chose-sterilised-age-21.html

It's a collection of stories about young women who've chosen to be childfree and sterilized and what that decision has meant for them. I've placed the first couple of paragraphs under the cut for linkaphobes (it's too long to cut&paste the whole thing).

Most girls nearing their 21st birthday might be expected to plan a party, or let it be known that a particular piece of jewellery would not go amiss to mark the occasion.
Jacquelyn Arnold decided to treat herself to an operation which sterilised her so that she would never be able to have children.

In many ways, such a decision would be disturbing at any age, but for a woman barely out of her teens it is deeply shocking - not only because she was so young, but because many will feel that it goes against the most primeval instinct inherent in a woman's character: that one day she will have children.

And yet Jacquelyn herself doesn't see it that way at all. Eight years on, the politics PhD student from London is adamant she has never suffered a moment's regret.

I don't think this has been posted yet!

Captain Hook was childfree.

2008-10-10T20:23:12Z

I am currently playing in the orchestra for a production of Peter Pan, which is what brought this up.

Captain Hook wasn't a bad guy. He and the rest of the pirates of Neverland were childfree and wanted to rid Neverland of all the kids is all.

Discuss.

Brats on parade

2008-10-10T20:06:06Z

A couple of years ago, I was at the zoo sketching when a crowd of kids surrounded me - and their teacher called to them, "Just push people out of the way if you can't see."

I was hoping that teachers had become more aware of the need to not teach kids to be raging assholes in the meantime, but today on the subway: "Sometimes you need to be violent to get people out of the way, kids. Just push." The subway wasn't even crowded, so apparently the idea behind it was that they had the right to pile in first.

And then the kids filled the carriage, yelling and running up and down, which wasn't so bad, but also fighting on the seats right beside regular commuters, banging into them and basically irritating everyone in the carriage. One of the kids and the teacher sat one seat down from me, and the kid put his feet up on the seat across the aisle, forcing people who wanted to get by to jump over his legs. Teacher sat there with him and didn't say a word.

Apparently, no one wants to deal with their bad behavior... but encouraging it? WTF. Where did all the good teachers go?

Why do breeders get so angry?

2008-10-10T17:53:03Z

I mean, I've had people lose their shit totally when I say I'm CF. What's it to them? It's not a personal attack- it's what I have chosen to do with my life. Why do they get so aggressive? Especially the women.....

How not to use a pushchair

2008-10-10T16:40:52Z

Found whilst looking the net for amusing instruction leaflets, although admittedly if you need to be told not to do this, you shouldn't have kids:

see more pwn and owned pictures

i didn't see this posted yet...

2008-10-10T08:32:11Z

after all the hell i've gone through today, getting bingoed 4 times this morning alone, and dealing with a panic attack as a result of an idiot nurse at my doctor's.... i came across this story:

yet another tale of "it's different when it's your own"

Father snapped his daughter's spine in two.....

A cannabis abuser murdered his 16-month-old baby by snapping her back in two following weeks of horrific physical abuse, a court heard yesterday.

James Howson, 25, twisted his fragile and malnourished daughter's arms and legs before breaking her spine with sickening force, it was alleged.

Little Amy spent the last eight weeks of her life in agony after suffering fractures and bruises all over her body.
Amy Howson

Horrific physical abuse: 16-month-old Amy had her spine broken in two and had fractures and bruises all over her body

Her jobless father broke both her arms, a leg and a rib with brutal beatings and no one took her to a doctor for treatment, Leeds Crown Court was told.

Heath visitors had tried in vain to check on the baby after a missed appointment, but her appalling suffering was only revealed after her death on 23 December last year.

Describing the fatal attack in graphic terms to the jury, prosecutor Gary Burrell, QC, said: 'He snapped her back in two at waist level as though he held her over his knee or thigh or possibly a chair or sofa back with her back downwards.

'He then used extreme force on her body so as to hyperextend the back and cause a complete break at the level of the first lumbar vertebra. Her back was literally snapped in two.'
Tina Hunt

Amy's mother, Tina Hunt, is awaiting sentence for allowing the death of a child and one offence of cruelty

Amy also suffered a serious injury to her forehead just before her death and had bleeding to the brain.

'On any view it was a fairly horrific type of assault,' said Mr Burrell.

He said Amy would have died within a few hours of receiving these injuries at the Doncaster home Howson shared with his partner and Amy's mother Tina Hunt, 26.

Howson denies murder and two offences of cruelty.

Hunt has admitted allowing the death of a child and one offence of cruelty and will be sentenced at the end of the trial.

The jury has not been told of a motive for the attacks, but they coincided with Hunt becoming pregnant again.

When Howson was arrested he tried to blame the family pet Staffordshire bull terrier, telling police the dog had got into bed with Amy the night before her death.

Mr Burrell said the toddler would have been in 'significant pain' for up to eight weeks due to the numerous fractures and bruises. Family members said she screamed continuously if picked up.

The court heard Hunt was in the house at the time Amy died. She had been suffering morning sickness and leaving Howson to deal with the baby.

When Amy was found not to be breathing she rang her father who raised the alarm.

The baby was lying on a sheet in the doorway wearing only a nappy when police and paramedics arrived. Howson was trying to resuscitate her.

Asked what happened he told officers the child had fallen out of bed the previous night and banged her head.

He said he took her downstairs, smoked some cannabis and cradled the baby in his arms until they both fell asleep.

He said he found her not breathing and without a pulse when he woke up at 9.30 am.

A pathologist concluded Amy was 'seriously undernourished and dehydrated' and there was 'clear evidence of deprivation of food and water.'

She weighed only 6.2kg (13lb 7oz), which was the same as she weighed at six months of age.

Mr Burrell said of the baby's injuries: 'It is inconceivable that anyone looking after this child would not have been aware of her pain and distress following those injuries and that any reasonable person would have obtained medical assistance.'

He said none of Howson's explanations for some of her injuries were 'in any way credible.'

Amy's grandfather Colin Hunt said Amy was happy until a few months before her death then seemed to 'go down' and stopped smiling and was always screaming.

He thought her right arm was 'not right' and told his daughter to take Amy to the doctor, but she never did.

The prosecution alleged Hunt must have known about the assaults by Howson and she failed to take reasonable steps to protect the child by contacting the police or social services.

The baby was registered with a doctor and had a six-month check.

After she missed her 12-month routine appointment health visitors twice visited the house in October last year and no one answered the door.

A letter was left informing them of the importance of keeping medical appointments.

The case continues.

a few questions:

1) why would ANYONE do this to a kid... if he didn't want kids.. he shouldn't have been creating them

2) how is his cannibus use pertinent to the story?

3) what kind of suck fuck is this jackass, to repeatedly break this kid's arms and legs...?

cf_hardcore @ 2008-10-09T21:39:00

2008-10-10T03:42:56Z

You know those incredibly annoying "Sponsor A Child Today!!!" ads? The ones that pop out of nowhere, totally unwarranted? Yeah, Photobucket just got me. Check this shit out-

I srsly yelped in fear. Sponsor A Child Today!! or they'll send this one to eat you in your sleep.

cf_hardcore @ 2008-10-10T16:12:00

2008-10-10T03:19:26Z

I am 26 and you know what I consider my greatest achievement?
NOT HAVING CHILDREN!

It's great.

This may seem kind of pointless and obvious, but people are always so proud that they have bred...breeding is really not that difficult..almost everyone I have ever met was an accident so it obviously doesn't even take a conscious effort in most cases. I have to make a conscious effort not to get pregnant. And I am proud of my struggle against hormones and societies expectations...or the ease of falling into the role of a housewife.
I am glad that I am my own person and I can do whatever I want, whenever I want. =D

Porn for New Moms

2008-10-10T01:45:16Z

Today the hubby, guitarguy1980 and I were at Borders picking up a gift. I was perusing the Humor section and came across one of the most insulting things I think I've ever seen in my life.

http://www.chroniclebooks.com/index/main,book-info/store,books/products_id,7066/

For the link phobic, I can't really post anything behind a cut from this page, so I'll just provide a synopsis. It's a book that basically consists of pictures of men holding babies and toddlers, with "cutesy" quotes that I guess are supposed to sexually excite new mothers. It's an offshoot of a book entitled Porn for Women, which includes pictures of men doing housework and chores and being attentive. Yada, yada, yada.

I just...can't wrap my head around this crap. I understand it's meant to be "funny" but is it really? I encountered this piece of shit over 4 hours ago and I still can't shake the disgust. I don't know...I guess because I never got the whole "OOH! Man holding a baby! Squee!" mentality, I surely won't get this, either. One of the quotes from the book:

"Wow, honey that is so interesting. Tell me more about what the consistency of the poop was like!"

....

It's insulting to real women who watch real porn!!!

Ranting And Raving Part Two

2008-10-10T00:11:06Z

...so you go to the bar and all you want to do there is get drunk but then you meet a girl and you start talking to her because she has nice tits and she starts talking to you because unlike all the other dudes in this bois de beefcake you are wearing a nice shirt while the rest of the dudes are wearing tank tops or shirts given to them by bars or other things that haven't been washed in a while and neither of you is connecting at first about anything real or could ever sit around and talk about the meaning of meaning if you know what I mean but then you get home and you fuck your freak out and then while neither of you thinks that you'll ever see each other again you can't stop thinking about how her pussy tasted on your lips the next morning and she keeps smelling the pillow you sweated on while you slept because it has this masculine smell that she really liked so you go out again and this time there is more purpose to it and you really, really fuck the sweet fandango and this keeps going on and for once your parents stop asking you when you are going to meet a nice girl because they think you've met a nice girl even though they don't know that your tongue is in her ass three times a week and it's the same with her parents they think you are a nice boy and have no idea that you've cum on her face and pissed in her mouth and then one of you loses their job or else finds a really nice apartment or for some other reason like stars in the heavens, death in the sky or just a drunken conversation at a bar where you are lucky to get out alive you end up moving in together and maybe she gets a ring on her finger or else she just gets rid of the ring around your collar but either way things are great and wonderful and soaked in cum, fun and love and lust and long nights watching marthon episodes of Lost and then the questions start comming in, "when are you going to get married?" "When are you going to get a baby?" "Isn't it time to start a family" and every time that it's her turn to be the designated driver everyone assumes she's pregnant and the more you say she isn't the more you give them a wink and a nod and the longer this goes on the more they try to patronize you and treat you with sympathy and ask "is anything wrong" as though maybe her eggs are scrambled or your sperm is lazy but it's really nothing like that, it's just that you understand birth control and don't want to get married and just like the way her mouth feels on your cock and she loves how wet she gets when your whiskers wet her willy but you can't say that it's just about being marvelously messy, because your family always assumes that the reason boys and girls get naughty and nasty is to eventually change nappies and you can't explain it to them and it's almost like they want to jump in your bedroom and force one of you to rape the other just so that sex can happen without protection and none of them know that this whole story happened just because her tits looked nice one night when you were in the bar and you just happened to be wearing a shirt she liked and somewhere somehow deep inside you always knew it would be like this...

cf_hardcore @ 2008-10-09T13:06:00

2008-10-09T18:19:26Z

I had my first pregnancy/baby dream.
I blame you guys! XD
I can't think about it without lolling though, so I wanted to share what I still remember.

I was in the hospital and had a baby. There was no pain or crying or anything, it was just like... "dum dee dum dum, hey look what just came out of me!" The baby's body didn't work, or maybe wasn't there at all, so the doctor made a fake one to attach to the living head. I kept forgetting to feed it. Sometimes I'd have to put the body in the wash, so the crib would just have a baby head in it, staring at me. It never made any noise, but it did look around and have facial gestures. Our apartment was at one point attacked by a swarm of giant spiders*. Soon after the spider infestation, D.J. Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince came over to visit the baby**. Jazz picked it up without proper support because he was unaware that it was mostly prosthetic. The head fell off and rolled away. They left and never came back, but left behind a business card. Somehow... a year or two passed and it was a prosthetic toddler. I accidentally let it run out into the street, where it was killed by an automobile***.

*I am deathly fucking afraid of spiders, and these where the size of baseballs.
**WTF? O_O??
***Just to clarify, that is not the part I lol at.

Where a pharmacist rants about kids

2008-10-09T16:31:10Z

A truly amazing rant from a pharmacist who is just plain sick and tired of people letting their kids scream/run around in his store while they do nothing.

I especially loved the term 'PADD' - Parent Attention Deficit Disorder for parents who just let the kids misbehave.

Ranting And Raving

2008-10-09T10:36:18Z

So, today Perez Hilton is reporting that the National Enquirer is reporting that juicy jezebel Jamie Lynne Spears is pregnant again. She's supposedly eight weeks pregnant even though Miss Fertile Myrtle gave birth three months ago.

According to the dudes dishing the dirt the breeding babe thought she could crave condomless cock because she was breastfeeding.

Is this tantalizing tale true?

Who the fuck knows!

The scary thing is that it could be the real deal, on the money and verifiability veritable because as far as I can tell sex education in America consists of telling girls "Wait until you are married and do what you husband tells you."

Which brings us to a place where sinful sexy pop tarts can pop out babyfruit on a whim because they don't know that juicy jizz and the horizontal mambo can make you a mama.

In other words we've set up a system that's rigged so the dumb keep breeding and gerryrigging the gene pool in favor of spawn that will keep on spreading!

We've created reverse evolution!

Fuck me!

I'm sticking to my Sarah Palin Love Doll sterilized sweeties, only oral, awesome anal and jerking the light fantastic to keep my swimmers' eyes off the prize.

And I suggest you ladies get used to double clicking your mouse.

You heard it here first, on the QT and very, very hush hush...