This is the letter that I am sending to the upper management for the security team of Kemper Development Company for the assault from before. This letter is being written not only because I was Bingo'ed, but because he spoke down to me condescendingly, was very unprofessional, offered false legal counsel, and discriminated against the fact that I'm gay.
December 12, 2005
Tiger Wolf
Kemper Development Company – Security Department
575 Bellevue Square
Bellevue, WA 98004
Attn: Kemper Development Company Security Managers Ken West and Clark Rice.
Re: Complaint against Phil Hoyt, (Re: Discriminatory Behavior, Unprofessional Behavior, Providing False Legal Advice)
To Whom It May Concern:
This letter is in regards to the incident occurring at 13:57 at Lincoln Square Mall/Lincoln Square Cinemas on 12/11/2005.
My fiancé Sean and I were taking the escalator up to the 2nd floor of the Lincoln Square Mall. At the top of the escalator, I had the unfortunate accident of tripping over a small asian child, who looked to be approximately 3-4 years old. I looked around for the parent of this child, noticing two other people trip over her as well, one of whom was an elderly woman who almost fell because of it. When I located the parent about 6-8 feet away, back completely turned from her smaller child, I informed her in a normal speaking tone “You need to control your child and keep them next to you, people are tripping over her.”
The mother scowled at me for a moment and I continued walking. I got approximately half way to the next escalator to go to the 3rd floor, when she yelled as loud as possible “WHAT DID YOU SAY TO ME?”. I informed her again “You heard what I said. You need to control your child and keep them close so that other people will not trip over her.”
Sean and I then proceeded to go up to the 3rd floor. I gave him a card to purchase tickets with, and I was going to purchase a drink since we were running late for our showing in theater 15. As I put my hand on the door to open it, a man grabbed me from behind, dug his fingernails into my arm and raked them down it while turning me around (I did not notice the damage from it until later). He held my arm and proceeded to cuss me out about what I had supposedly said to his wife along with various other threats and insults. I informed him not to touch me and pushed him rather firmly away from me with the arm he was holding. He attempted to grab on to me again and I swatted his hand away from me and informed him “If you touch me one more time, not only will I get the police involved, but I WILL hit you back.”
He continued ranting for another moment or two before I simply said “I stand by what I said. Control your child.” and then continued in to the theater. All of this was done in front of his children and family; however the wife was contributing to the yelling and rudeness.
After purchasing my drink and meeting up with Sean again, we went and found a seat. This is the first chance that I had to actually look down at my arm. I saw 3 large scratches approximately 6-7” long up and down the inside part of my arm. This rather irritated me, so I excused myself for a few moments to go speak to management. This occurred at 14:07.
When I spoke with the theater managers, I informed them that while I did not intend on causing a scene, I wanted them to know that I had been assaulted directly in front of their business. The management took this extremely seriously, and offered me free passes, as well as asked me to identify the people so they could remove them from the theater. I let them know that the family had gone into theater 16, and then he said that he would contact mall security to assist in dealing with this.
When the security team arrived, along with a few other employees and managers, I explained the situation fully, including all events that led up to the assault. We proceeded into the theater and I identified them. When they were escorted out, the wife proceeded to yell a profane phrase or two, when she found out it was me, and then had to go retrieve her children whom again, she was not watching.
After this point, I did not see the family again. I spoke with your employee David, who was beyond professional. He followed procedure very well, inquiring if I needed any medical attention, as well as if I desired to press charges. He also took down my deposition and personal information. I decided that since nothing had been broken, I would think about filing assault charges on the man. David explained that he intended on filing criminal trespassing charges on the family, since the assault took place on mall property, and that this would be in effect for a period of one year (the duration information was requested by me). I said that I was going in the theater to inform Sean of the situation, and when I returned Phil Hoyt was there, speaking with David off to the side. He was looking at me and smirking and looking condescending, and after a few moments he walked off. David returned, and informed me that Phil had decided that the person and his family would only be asked to leave for the day, and that the man had claimed that I had started the entire thing, and that he had barely touched me.
David showed Phil my arm and indicated that the injury was not the result of ‘barely touching’, however Phil did not seem to be interested in that, playing it down as only a scratch.
Afterwards, I spoke with David again, and he asked me one more time if I would like to press charges on the man, since there was an officer across the street, and that he would be able to call him over to get the information on what happened. I decided that this would be the best course of action in the long run, in case he were to do it to anyone else, and said that I would return shortly after informing Sean again of what was happening.
Upon my return, Phil was standing there along with David and another security officer. (I did not get this person’s name, nor did they say anything.) Phil began to lecture me in a condescending tone, starting with “If you WANTED to file charges, you should have done it at the beginning. Now it’s been dealt with and everyone has gone now, so you can’t do it, so just deal with it. Besides, that’ll heal fast *indicating at my arm*”. I stood there quite baffled by the fact that this man was attempting to give me incorrect legal advice, and then he piped up again with “And besides, you had no right to tell her how to parent her child in the first place.”
This was too much for me and I said “Excuse me? I had every right to tell her to control her child. The child was standing at the very top of an escalator, which is unsafe to begin with.” His reply? “No you don’t.”
I again explained that I had every right as is in the first amendment, since I did not verbally abuse the woman or threaten her in any way, and in fact I had used a very civil tone and no foul language whatsoever. He argued with me again for a moment, and then resorted to “I guess we have a difference of opinion then.”
He then attempted to ‘bingo’ me, as it is called in ChildFree circles. He started with “Do you have kids of your own?”. I replied that I did not, nor would I ever have any in the future.” He then said “Then you have no right to judge parents.” .. I said “Excuse me? I have every right to inform a parent who is not paying attention to their child’s actions or who is letting their child actively misbehave that they need to do something about it.” He then resorted to the childish “Well when you have kids you’ll think differently.”
I fail to see the relevance of my child status to this case, or to the fact that Phil is attempting to say that my first amendment rights should be squelched when I see something wrong happening. He then said that if the staff of the mall security see a child a ways away from its parent, that they (quoted) “won’t touch that with a 10 foot pole”. I informed him that while the staff may have those rules, I am not an employee, and I have every right to tell someone to curb their child.
He attempted another argumentative tactic after sniggering a bit at me, where he said “Maybe it was a cultural difference and he didn’t approve of how you were speaking to a woman.”. When I responded with “Excuse me? I’m gay.” he began to snigger and chuckle again, mocking the fact that I am of the homosexual persuasion. This is not only discriminatory, but it is also extremely unprofessional. I then finished the sentence with something sarcastic (which yes, would have warranted chuckling afterwards) about how I am probably more of a lady than she was, considering how she was behaving.
His conversation then continued to get even more condescending by telling me “Well I guess you learned your lesson, didn’t you?”
Again, this is not his place to say, and I informed him of such, saying “What are you talking about? I did nothing wrong other than inform his wife that she needs to keep her child controlled and next to her when in a mall, rather than tripping people dangerously. That’s ESPECIALLY important considering how many amber alerts we’ve had in this area recently with people snatching children.”
He then said “Your lesson should be that if you say something like that, you might make someone angry and this might happen.”
I became quite irate with him at this point, and said “No. The only lesson that was learned in this situation should be by the man who assaulted me.. and he should have learned that when you attack someone, it’s going to cost you a fair bit of money and make your family miserable.”
Again, he brushed it off as a ‘difference of opinion’ and basically told me that nothing more than asking them to leave the property for one day would be done, and that I should go back and see the rest of my movie or whatever. I grudgingly shook his hand, and ‘thanked him for his time’ (not very sincerely, mind you). I then turned to David and informed him that I very much appreciated his help in the situation, and that I was sorry it turned out like this, and that his time was very much appreciated. I also shook the hand of the third party whom was there, and informed him “Despite the fact that I barely saw you and don’t know who you are, thank you for coming here.”
That is my documentation of the situation. If you have any further questions or concerns that need to be addressed, please feel free to contact me at (***) ***-****. I thank you for your time, and appreciate greatly the fact that this incident is being taken very seriously. I would like to request prompt termination of Phil Hoyt for his actions, as again, not only are they discriminatory and unprofessional, but some are actually illegal. I also feel that it is extremely inappropriate of Mr Hoyt to go around undermining the authority of his staff that he is supposed to be supervising.
Regards,
Tiger Wolf
I'm leaving in a few moments to turn that in to Ken. Please, don't contact the company and flame them or harass them or anything. Phil Hoyt seems to be the only member of the staff who is unprofessional and rude, and I received nothing but polite attention and understanding of the seriousness of this situation from every other staff member involved.
Well.. There ya go. I will keep you guys informed of what Clark Rice says, since he's pretty much top of the line, short of the owner. The only downfall I have in this case is that Mr Hoyt has a number of years with the company, however as Ken said, my case is quite strong, and moreso with an employee backing my claims.
So what do you guys think?
December 12, 2005
Tiger Wolf
Kemper Development Company – Security Department
575 Bellevue Square
Bellevue, WA 98004
Attn: Kemper Development Company Security Managers Ken West and Clark Rice.
Re: Complaint against Phil Hoyt, (Re: Discriminatory Behavior, Unprofessional Behavior, Providing False Legal Advice)
To Whom It May Concern:
This letter is in regards to the incident occurring at 13:57 at Lincoln Square Mall/Lincoln Square Cinemas on 12/11/2005.
My fiancé Sean and I were taking the escalator up to the 2nd floor of the Lincoln Square Mall. At the top of the escalator, I had the unfortunate accident of tripping over a small asian child, who looked to be approximately 3-4 years old. I looked around for the parent of this child, noticing two other people trip over her as well, one of whom was an elderly woman who almost fell because of it. When I located the parent about 6-8 feet away, back completely turned from her smaller child, I informed her in a normal speaking tone “You need to control your child and keep them next to you, people are tripping over her.”
The mother scowled at me for a moment and I continued walking. I got approximately half way to the next escalator to go to the 3rd floor, when she yelled as loud as possible “WHAT DID YOU SAY TO ME?”. I informed her again “You heard what I said. You need to control your child and keep them close so that other people will not trip over her.”
Sean and I then proceeded to go up to the 3rd floor. I gave him a card to purchase tickets with, and I was going to purchase a drink since we were running late for our showing in theater 15. As I put my hand on the door to open it, a man grabbed me from behind, dug his fingernails into my arm and raked them down it while turning me around (I did not notice the damage from it until later). He held my arm and proceeded to cuss me out about what I had supposedly said to his wife along with various other threats and insults. I informed him not to touch me and pushed him rather firmly away from me with the arm he was holding. He attempted to grab on to me again and I swatted his hand away from me and informed him “If you touch me one more time, not only will I get the police involved, but I WILL hit you back.”
He continued ranting for another moment or two before I simply said “I stand by what I said. Control your child.” and then continued in to the theater. All of this was done in front of his children and family; however the wife was contributing to the yelling and rudeness.
After purchasing my drink and meeting up with Sean again, we went and found a seat. This is the first chance that I had to actually look down at my arm. I saw 3 large scratches approximately 6-7” long up and down the inside part of my arm. This rather irritated me, so I excused myself for a few moments to go speak to management. This occurred at 14:07.
When I spoke with the theater managers, I informed them that while I did not intend on causing a scene, I wanted them to know that I had been assaulted directly in front of their business. The management took this extremely seriously, and offered me free passes, as well as asked me to identify the people so they could remove them from the theater. I let them know that the family had gone into theater 16, and then he said that he would contact mall security to assist in dealing with this.
When the security team arrived, along with a few other employees and managers, I explained the situation fully, including all events that led up to the assault. We proceeded into the theater and I identified them. When they were escorted out, the wife proceeded to yell a profane phrase or two, when she found out it was me, and then had to go retrieve her children whom again, she was not watching.
After this point, I did not see the family again. I spoke with your employee David, who was beyond professional. He followed procedure very well, inquiring if I needed any medical attention, as well as if I desired to press charges. He also took down my deposition and personal information. I decided that since nothing had been broken, I would think about filing assault charges on the man. David explained that he intended on filing criminal trespassing charges on the family, since the assault took place on mall property, and that this would be in effect for a period of one year (the duration information was requested by me). I said that I was going in the theater to inform Sean of the situation, and when I returned Phil Hoyt was there, speaking with David off to the side. He was looking at me and smirking and looking condescending, and after a few moments he walked off. David returned, and informed me that Phil had decided that the person and his family would only be asked to leave for the day, and that the man had claimed that I had started the entire thing, and that he had barely touched me.
David showed Phil my arm and indicated that the injury was not the result of ‘barely touching’, however Phil did not seem to be interested in that, playing it down as only a scratch.
Afterwards, I spoke with David again, and he asked me one more time if I would like to press charges on the man, since there was an officer across the street, and that he would be able to call him over to get the information on what happened. I decided that this would be the best course of action in the long run, in case he were to do it to anyone else, and said that I would return shortly after informing Sean again of what was happening.
Upon my return, Phil was standing there along with David and another security officer. (I did not get this person’s name, nor did they say anything.) Phil began to lecture me in a condescending tone, starting with “If you WANTED to file charges, you should have done it at the beginning. Now it’s been dealt with and everyone has gone now, so you can’t do it, so just deal with it. Besides, that’ll heal fast *indicating at my arm*”. I stood there quite baffled by the fact that this man was attempting to give me incorrect legal advice, and then he piped up again with “And besides, you had no right to tell her how to parent her child in the first place.”
This was too much for me and I said “Excuse me? I had every right to tell her to control her child. The child was standing at the very top of an escalator, which is unsafe to begin with.” His reply? “No you don’t.”
I again explained that I had every right as is in the first amendment, since I did not verbally abuse the woman or threaten her in any way, and in fact I had used a very civil tone and no foul language whatsoever. He argued with me again for a moment, and then resorted to “I guess we have a difference of opinion then.”
He then attempted to ‘bingo’ me, as it is called in ChildFree circles. He started with “Do you have kids of your own?”. I replied that I did not, nor would I ever have any in the future.” He then said “Then you have no right to judge parents.” .. I said “Excuse me? I have every right to inform a parent who is not paying attention to their child’s actions or who is letting their child actively misbehave that they need to do something about it.” He then resorted to the childish “Well when you have kids you’ll think differently.”
I fail to see the relevance of my child status to this case, or to the fact that Phil is attempting to say that my first amendment rights should be squelched when I see something wrong happening. He then said that if the staff of the mall security see a child a ways away from its parent, that they (quoted) “won’t touch that with a 10 foot pole”. I informed him that while the staff may have those rules, I am not an employee, and I have every right to tell someone to curb their child.
He attempted another argumentative tactic after sniggering a bit at me, where he said “Maybe it was a cultural difference and he didn’t approve of how you were speaking to a woman.”. When I responded with “Excuse me? I’m gay.” he began to snigger and chuckle again, mocking the fact that I am of the homosexual persuasion. This is not only discriminatory, but it is also extremely unprofessional. I then finished the sentence with something sarcastic (which yes, would have warranted chuckling afterwards) about how I am probably more of a lady than she was, considering how she was behaving.
His conversation then continued to get even more condescending by telling me “Well I guess you learned your lesson, didn’t you?”
Again, this is not his place to say, and I informed him of such, saying “What are you talking about? I did nothing wrong other than inform his wife that she needs to keep her child controlled and next to her when in a mall, rather than tripping people dangerously. That’s ESPECIALLY important considering how many amber alerts we’ve had in this area recently with people snatching children.”
He then said “Your lesson should be that if you say something like that, you might make someone angry and this might happen.”
I became quite irate with him at this point, and said “No. The only lesson that was learned in this situation should be by the man who assaulted me.. and he should have learned that when you attack someone, it’s going to cost you a fair bit of money and make your family miserable.”
Again, he brushed it off as a ‘difference of opinion’ and basically told me that nothing more than asking them to leave the property for one day would be done, and that I should go back and see the rest of my movie or whatever. I grudgingly shook his hand, and ‘thanked him for his time’ (not very sincerely, mind you). I then turned to David and informed him that I very much appreciated his help in the situation, and that I was sorry it turned out like this, and that his time was very much appreciated. I also shook the hand of the third party whom was there, and informed him “Despite the fact that I barely saw you and don’t know who you are, thank you for coming here.”
That is my documentation of the situation. If you have any further questions or concerns that need to be addressed, please feel free to contact me at (***) ***-****. I thank you for your time, and appreciate greatly the fact that this incident is being taken very seriously. I would like to request prompt termination of Phil Hoyt for his actions, as again, not only are they discriminatory and unprofessional, but some are actually illegal. I also feel that it is extremely inappropriate of Mr Hoyt to go around undermining the authority of his staff that he is supposed to be supervising.
Regards,
Tiger Wolf
I'm leaving in a few moments to turn that in to Ken. Please, don't contact the company and flame them or harass them or anything. Phil Hoyt seems to be the only member of the staff who is unprofessional and rude, and I received nothing but polite attention and understanding of the seriousness of this situation from every other staff member involved.
Well.. There ya go. I will keep you guys informed of what Clark Rice says, since he's pretty much top of the line, short of the owner. The only downfall I have in this case is that Mr Hoyt has a number of years with the company, however as Ken said, my case is quite strong, and moreso with an employee backing my claims.
So what do you guys think?
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Comments
Good luck :)
Good luck!
My word of advice would only be to take out the mention of bingoing. His bullshit shines pretty clearly without the label, and associating yourself with childfree circles may bias the reader. Not that CF groups are bad, but it's irrelevant to the story.
Keep us posted.
He's a smart man, and from what he tells me, Clark is pretty smart too. :)
Also, I would lock this post and anonymize last names, as well as the company name and address. We don't know who lurks here who might want to contact the company and cause trouble for you.
I'm not saying it wasn't relevant, just that it's different to understand from the letter. You might want to explain more clearly.
If it was the father instead of the lady there, would I have said anything different? No. I would have said exactly the same thing. Just because someone is a woman, does NOT mean that they instantly earn my respect. Respect is not freely given with me, it's something you have to work for.
Yes, I fully understand the theater dude was a horse's ass, and yes, you should complain to his superiors, but there just wasn't a reason to involve them at all.
I understand the reluctance to involve the police sometimes, but they are trained and paid to handle situations like this; the theater employees are not, and it seems this is a classic case of muddying the waters by involving people who have no interest in the matter.
The guy was a smug arsehole, but the guy assaulted you, plain and simple, and where he did it had no bearing on what happened nor did the theatre staff bear responsibility for what happened to you.
Next time, call the police immediately. You had physical marks from the assault - I think they would have taken you seriously. And people who do that to others need to be taught more of a lesson than being banned from a fucking movie theatre.
The Assult did happen in the theater.
I even told them that I wasn't raising a stink about it, but I just wanted to inform them what happened. When they saw my arm, THAT is when the shit hit the fan. The claw marks in it were 6-7 inches long and very very red with broken skin along them. They provided me free passes to return, since they knew I would be missing a portion of my movie too. :\ It was kind of them, and I told them that they didn't have to do that for me, but they insisted. I also apologized to them that it happened in their place of business, and explained that I didn't hit him because I wanted to demonstrate more class than he was showing. (that's not the full reason, but yeah..)
The waiter at the restaurant I frequent last night overheard me telling my roommate more about it and he came over and asked me to tell him the whole story. *lol*
Then again, that's not a common occurance for the waitstaff there either. I usually have something new to rant about on a regular basis, especially with Washington people. Oy vey.. @_@
THAT is what this letter is about. Many people asked for followups on the situation after the whole thing and suggested I go after the security supervisor, which this letter is about. The sec. officer who helped me directly (David in this letter) was BEYOND professional and courteous, and he attended the meeting with Ken this morning where Ken asked me to write this letter.
I was told that my story has a lot of credibility behind it because of how well I documented the times and what was said etc, but also because David was supporting my claims 100%. He said that everything that I said was true.
The theater people were involved because it happened directly in front of their theater in the mall, or.. next to their box office WHILE I was going into the doors where they take tickets and where the concession boots are. The theater is responsible for this area.
2. It was the mall security who was involved. It was just brought to the theater manager's attention because of where it happened, which again, is as I was entering their place of business. They contacted mall security and also asked if I wanted the police called.
3. I've lived in quite a few places where the police actively discriminate against homosexuals like myself. I'm one of those guys you can easily tell just by looking at me that I'm gay, and I wouldn't want them coming to 'help the fairy with his widdle boo-boo' or something to that extent. I'm quite capable of defending myself physically, however, for potential liability issues, and the fact that I was not going to let the guy and his wife get away with what he did to my arm, I just spoke to the managers of the theater.
4. The theater staff were GREAT in dealing with the situation. As were all of the mall security staff EXCEPT the mall security supervisor for the day. He tried to make it look like the incident was nothing, like the guy barely touched me, and then not only undermined the authority of David who was going to follow policy and trespass the family off the properties for a year, but also was discriminatory, condescending, and inflicting his incorrect legalese on me.
Again, I am always reluctant to involve police in anything save for reporting drunk drivers. Why? Because there are a LOT of 'dirty' cops out there. A majority of them. And quite honestly, I don't want the shit to deal with just because I'm a fag.
All parties that were involved were supposed to be involved. The waters weren't muddied by me. The thing happened on theater/mall property. Theater management and mall security were involved, and this letter is addressed to the security managers, so that it will be appropriately handled. I do know what I'm doing here.
Though in the cop's defense, he DID say that regardless of whether the husband thought I was rude to his wife or not it did NOT give him the right to touch me.
Exactly. Which is why the whole debate with the mall security officer is so incredible.
Too bad this crappy situation unfolded =( I hope things go your way in the end.