This one's going to be a long one. If anyone has any complaints about the size, I'll stick it behind a cut.

Today at Lincoln Square Mall in Bellevue, my fiance and I were going up the escalator to the 2nd floor, when at the top I tripped over some little asian sprog, who couldn't have been more than 3 or 4 years old. I turned to the mother and said "You need to control your kids and keep them close to you so that people aren't tripping over them."

After that we turned and started to walk towards the next escalator to get to the 3rd floor where the theaters were. We get about half way and she yells "WHAT DID YOU SAY TO ME?". I turned and looked her square in the eye and said "You heard me. I said you need to keep your kids under control and not leave them standing where people can trip over them."

We got on the other escalator and started to go up, listening to her bitch to some unseen person accompanying her. We get to the top and I give my bf one of the bank cards and said "Go buy tickets. We're already about 8-10 minutes late. I'll go grab soda and meet you in there." He takes the card and goes to stand in line while I run to get soda. As I go to open the door to go into the lobby of the theater, someone grabs me from behind, digging their nails into my arm and raking it down as they turn me around. It's the husband of the unattentive baby-factory and he says "WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING TO MY WIFE LIKE THAT? WHAT MAKES YOU THINK YOU CAN FUCKING TELL US TO CONTROL OUR KIDS. DON'T FUCKING LIKE PEOPLE NEAR YOU... blahblahblah" by this point I had tuned him out. Now.. I've taken martial arts for YEARS of my childhood and teenage years, so my first instinct is to hit someone when they attack me like that, but seeing as I was in a place of business I decided to exercise more restraint, so I put my hand flat on his shoulder and shoved him back a few feet. He tried to grab me again and continues cursing and swearing in front of his sprogs. I told him "You touch me again, and not only will I get the police involved, but I will knock you out right here." and pushed his hand away from me.

He continued bitching as I turned around and went in to get my drink. I watched them for a moment and saw them walk into the 2:15 showing of Narnia (it was about 1:55 now) and after I got my drink, my bf said he saw the whole thing and was tempted to call the police. We went into our 1:45 showing, finding we had only missed the previews, when I looked at my arm and saw three 6-7" welts in my arm, a few places of broken skin along them. I said "Oh no he didn't..." and told my bf I would be right back.

I walked out and talked to the managers who were standing there. 3 of them. I said "I really hate to be the bearer of bad news on your opening weekend (they opened friday) but I just wanted to let you know I was assaulted at the door to your business. One manager ran and got me 2 free passes apologizing several times, despite me informing him that it was in NO WAY his fault or the company's fault, and that I was just letting them know. They got mall security, and 4 of those came up as well. After speaking to the whole lot of them and explaining the story again, I was asked if I knew where they went. The theater managers wanted to eject them from the premesis. We went into the theater and the manager actually saw them before I did and asked them to come out. The woman's sprogs were taking a long time to get out, but the husband was escorted out by 3 security guards.. the wife sees me and goes "Oh I just have to FUCKING HEAR THIS ONE." as loud as she can (in front of her spawn, no less).

The security guard who took my side of it said he recommended pressing charges, but I was reluctant as I didn't really feel like getting the police involved. He said he would ensure that they were tresspassed off of the 3 malls in the downtown district for a year and that they would have criminal tresspassing charges filed against them. His supervisor (one of the 3 other guys) came over and they talked for a minute and then my guard came back and said "He asked them to leave, but they said that it was all your fault and the husband barely touched you." he then grabbed my arm and turned to his supervisor and said "Does THIS look like barely touched?". He apologized to me that the supervisor had only asked them to leave for the day, and then recommended again that I press charges. Finally I relented and said "Ok. I'll do that then. Let me go inform my bf."

I went in to tell the bf, and then came out and the supervisor was standing with my guard again. He started lecturing me about how I should have said I was filing charges at the beginning and now everyone has gone already and blahblahblah.. then he said that I had no right to tell her to control her children. I said "Excuse me? I had EVERY right to tell her to control her children especially when I tripped over one. I didn't swear at her, I didnt' raise my voice. I told her to keep them next to her. That's important ESPECIALLY seeing as we've had a lot of child abductions/amber alerts lately." (note, I don't care about kids at all, but it was just further justifying my argument)

He bingoed me then. "Do you have kids yourself?" .. I cocked an eyebrow at him and was like "Hell no. I don't have them and would NEVER want them in my lifetime."... so he says "Then you don't have any right to judge people who do have kids and their parenting skills. It's their place to parent not yours, and I bet you'd be different when you have kids of your own.." (bingo.. what part of NEVER WANT THEM do you not understand?). He then says "Maybe it was cultural difference, and he didn't like how you were speaking to a woman." .. I started laughing at this point and said "Honey, I'm gay. I'm more of a woman than she is. You should be thankful I didn't punch him out for attacking me."

He thinks for a minute while chuckling and says "Well I guess you both learned a lesson then huh? You learned that it's not your place to say something about people's kids or you might make someone angry and they might attack you." .. I said "No. I learned that someone getting angry at me costs them 40 dollars in non-refundable tickets and concessions, while I get to enjoy the rest of my movie in peace.. It's not going to change how I behave with stupid people. I have done the same thing when people let their sprogs scream in a restaurant while I'm trying to eat in peace, and I have told many many other people to do their job as a parent, and just because some 140 pound asian man tries to assault me does not mean I'm going to change what I'm doing. He's lucky I'm more civilized than he is and didn't pop him one. Why didn't I do it? Because this is a place of business and not a playground, or a martial arts school, and quite frankly I have better things to do than hit small asians who try to mouth me off. Thank you for your time."

Three of the theater staff came up to me after and kinda yukked it up with me all talking about how it would have been funny if I had hit the guy back since I'm a lot bigger than he is, and he started it. I just kinda shrugged it off, thanked the management for the free passes (I get to see Memoirs of a Geisha next week.. yay!) and went back in to enjoy the rest of my now 40 minutes missed movie.