Childfree Christians

As the so-called odd duck in two ponds, how does being childfree and Christian affect the dating process?  Is this something you bring up quickly, to filter out dates who obviously won’t be a match later on?  Have you found a hot spot for meeting like-minded single individuals?  Do you feel pressure from family, co-workers, or congregation members to date more often, or face awkward, personal inquiries?

I’m not sure I have a lot of answers for the above questions.  My church isn’t overflowing with women in my age group, nor has anyone asked me a lot of questions about my status.  Looking 16 years old helps out in that category, I guess.  I certainly get hounded by the family at every opportunity though. 

The depressing part is, at times the odds seem overwhelming.  Unlike the more superficial attributes that you might be looking for in a partner, like “green eyes” or “enjoys swimming”, the whole Christian and childfree checkboxes are kind of a dealbreaker.  When you look at that as an immediate qualification factor for dates, it changes the game very dramatically.  The clubs, speed dating, and matchmaking sites all seem to me to be geared towards that high volume of women in their twenties, hearing their biological clocks ticking, trying to find the right guy so they can settle down and start making babies.  If you’re after something different, you’re out of luck. 

Chime in and tell everyone what you think about this subject, i.e. any/all of the above.

Allow myself to introduce….myself…

I’m a 26-year old guy, Methodist, and child-free.  I’ve always known I didn’t want kids of my own.  I definitely fall into the “unequivocally child-free, not no way no how” category, even though I appreciate the time I spend with my eleven nieces and nephews and adore them dearly.  Child-free is such a certainty to me.  Eventually I would like to get snipped down there in the gentlemanly region for practicality’s sake and to prevent anything accidental in the future.

I’m still working out the reconciliation of the child-free decision with my faith.  I wouldn’t classify myself as a child-hater, although I have been annoyed by small children before (who hasn’t?).  Just my personal religious opinion, but I believe that Jesus loved little children and cared for them very much.  Still, I don’t think there is a “New Covenant” moral imperative to reproduce.  In fact, it would be morally reprehensible in my opinion to bring life into this world and not take care of things responsibly.

Parenting is such a huge responsibility and a life-changing enterprise.  I know full well what goes into it, you really have to be (or should be) endlessly dedicated to your kids to do it right.  Anyone who nurtures a child to adulthood with love and care certainly has my admiration, and they deserve it.  I guess I see raising a Christian family as God’s work, if someone so chooses to follow that path.  To me, it’s not the only choice though.  I’d like to continue to give charitably, be involved at church, help out my family as much as possible, be a servant to others, and really define a different sort of discipleship.

The accusation that being child-free is selfish has some teeth for me.  I’m not sure why.  Perhaps it should only encourage me to be more selfless.  Anyways, I’ll end my incoherent ramblings here and let some others chime in.