avcables

• Co-founding Apple Computer Inc.
• Being smart, stylish, and square
• Taking initiative to use his body as a promotion for Apple's thin products

• Pancreatic tumor caused pancreas to shrink once again for the 5th generation.

• 54

mikefireball

• Living for thousands of years, having supernatural powers and teaching guests valuable lessons as Mr. Roarke, owner and proprietor of Fantasy Island.
• Controlling the mind of baseball superstar Reggie Jackson in attempt to assassinate the Queen of England in The Naked Gun: From the Files of Police Squad!
• KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
• AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
• AA
• AAAAAA

 

 

 

 

 

• AAN

• Old age shot him with a dart, sent him plummeting to the street below, then ran him over with a bus, a steamroller and a high school marching band. IN SPACE

• 88

mikefireball

• Singing the sexiest Christmas song of all time, the gold digger anthem, Santa Baby. Sing along, everyone!

• Being Catwoman in the 1960s TV version of Batman after Julie Newmar apparently died for our sins and turned into a sexy black woman.
• Winning 2 Emmys and 3 Annies for her role as Yzma, the evil former advisor in that Disney movie nobody watched, The Emperor's New Groove, who went under cover as Principal Amzy in the subsequent TV series, The Emperor's New School.
• Still looking like this well into her 70s:
  
  

• See above.

• buried in the eartha crypt nyeheheheh
• Hmph, that was kind of too easy.

• 81

mikefireball

• Coining the term "Sci Fi" — short for "science fiction," in case you're an idiot — in 1954 as a play on the then cutting-edge term "Hi-Fi."
• His collection of over 300,000 pieces of pop (and not so pop) culture memorabilia in an 18-room "Ackermansion" (get it, "18-room") in Hollywood, which he was later forced to sell to pay for legal fees and medical expenses.
• Inventing Vampirella. You're welcome, everyone who has ever wanted to bone a comic book character.
• Acting as a literary agent for Isaac Asimov, Ray Bradbury and L. Ron Hubbard, among others.
• Starting the first science fiction club for juveniles in 1929, compiling the first list of "scientifilms" in 1932, winning the world's first Hugo Award for a fan in 1953, and appearing in over 50 movie cameos. Having a resume like that, and SciFiPedia still, lovingly, begins its entry for "Uncle Forry" by defining him as an "American fan."

• Heart attack.
• By which I mean he was mauled to death by a giant, heart-shaped monster robot alien from Mars. He would've wanted it that way.

• 92

mikefireball

• Being that naked woman in your grandfather's garage.
• Doing for the pin-up model what Babe Ruth did for baseball, Superman did for comic books and Jesus did for red wine. OK, maybe not that last one.
• Totally having no idea her fame revived in the '80s and '90s, having retreated to a private life after converting to follow that guy I mentioned with the red wine a bullet ago.
• Hahaha look at that fucking picture. I have no idea what she's pretending to do, and it is awesome. Besides, people read this at work. For more pictures of Bettie Page with and without boobs, try using a search engine on the Internet.

• Vengeful zombie leopard. I don't fucking know.
• Died for the sins of a billion lonely girls who dyed (haha i get it) their hair black for attention. Or took their clothes off for attention. Or both.

• Heart attack

• (holding dissection pin) more liek deaddie page nyeheheheh

• 85
• She actually aged really, really well, but so as not to ruin anyone's fantasies for the rest of their lives, click at your own risk: Bettie Page at 80.

mikefireball

• Playing the role of Harry Bentley, an eccentric Englishman working as Russian language translator for the United Nations, and — OK, in short, he was the white guy on The Jeffersons. Remember that time he punched a cop in the face? That was awesome.
• Being a standout actor in the Theatre Company of Boston during the 1960s, among an acting troupe that also included Robert De Niro, Dustin Hoffman and Al Pacino.
• Being the funniest (or, arguably, only funny) part of Waiting for Guffman by not being Guffman. His character, Mr. Roy Loomis, is actually in the credits as "Not Guffman."
• Was in other Christopher Guest films as the twisted old fruit working the desk in This Is Spinal Tap, and a music historian at the beginning of A Mighty Wind.
• I, however, will always remember him as that guy on Sesame Street who painted numbers on a bunch of stuff (sailboat, birthday cake, Stockard Channing's sandwich).
  
  
  
  More: http://muppet.wikia.com/wiki/The_Mad_Painter

• Unknown as of this posting. My money's on "Will eventually be written out of life by having it explained that he moved to the Soviet Union, which doesn't exist anymore, but he'll come back in a few seasons to make a surprise appearance." Be sure to keep watching to hear him say his wacky new catch phrase: "BRAAAINSSSS"

• 
• Hey Sarah you should be this for Halloween next year.

mikefireball

• Being the reason you know what a velociraptor is. Crichton was the author or Jurassic Park and The Lost World. The books, not the movies. Jurassic Park III? Nothing to do with him. I swear.
• Creating the long-running TV series ER.
• Also wrote Congo, The Andromeda Strain, Disclosure, Timeline, State of Fear, Prey, and most recently Next, among over a dozen others.
• Co-writing the screenplay for Twister.
• Oh, he was a doctor, too.

• Heartbreak that the dinosaur didn't win the election?
• Didn't stand still enough?
• No, it was the cancer strain. Way to be boring.

• Crichton has a genus of dinosaur named after him? Crichtonsaurus is a variation of anklyosaur, discovered in 2002 by a man named Dong.

mikefireball

• Producing and animating A Charlie Brown Christmas, and every single Peanuts TV special and movie after that. Even the MetLife and Chex commercials.
• Playing the muted trombone to create the "wah-wah" voice of the adults of the Peanuts universe. Also provided the voices of Snoopy and Woodstock.
• Working as an animator for on Fantasia, Pinocchio, Bambi, Dumbo and a bunch of Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck shorts in the 1930s and early '40s.
• Later animated dozens of Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck and Porky Pig shorts for Warner Bros.; Gerald McBoing-Boing and Madeline for UPA; and the first couple of Garfield TV specials.
• Also directed the animated version of The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe.

• Shot out of the sky by the Red Baron.

• Not specified, though doctors said he died "peacefully." Way to ruin my Red Baron joke, a-holes.

• bill mel end days nyeheheheh

• Wah wah wah

• 91

mikefireball

• Wrestling for over 30 years as a prominent heel in various regional organizations from 1947 to 1977.
• Holding several regional National Wrestling Alliance championships, as well as the WWWF World Tag Team Championship with Big John Studd, whom he trained, and the WWWF United States Tag Team Champioship with Gorilla Monsoon.
• Opening the Killer Kowalski School of Professional Wrestling. His most successful student? Triple H.
• Claiming to be the only vegetarian in professional wrestling. He gave up meat in the late '60s.

• Heart attack. Was off life support for over a week afterward. Not as flashy as, say, getting driven through the ring and into the Christian concept of Hell, but he was old school. Older school than Old School.

• Hey, no fair. You're helping!

• 81

mikefireball

• Driving around Burt Reynolds and cases of terrible beer as Cledus "Snowman" Snow in all three Smokey and the Bandit movies.
• Writing and recording East Bound and Down, the theme song to the first Smokey movie.
• Also wrote the single When You're Hot, You're Hot, which won him a Grammy in 1971, and that Amos Moses song that you know from the country radio station in Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas, and I know from line dancing to it during freshman orientation at college.
• Serving as head coach of the University of Louisiana Cougars football team. Don't look it up. They're fake. He's really famous for firing The Waterboy.
• Getting his guitar stolen by some guy dressed up like a phantom in an episode of The New Scooby-Doo Movies.

Cause of death:

• Emphysema just knocked 'im in the head with a stump. Or, you know, the lungs.

• 71

mikefireball

• Three words: "In a world..." LaFontaine's voice introduced hundreds if not thousands of movie trailers, earning him the nickname "Voice of God."
• His favorite voiceover job? Elephant Man.

• Laryngitis.

• Collapsed lung from a blood clot. Either way, let's pause for a moment of silence. Because really, we don't have a choice.
• Forget that. Make him proud in the thread, kids.

• In an underworld...

• 68

mikefireball

• Designating asses for dismemberment as Sno'nuff, the Shogun of Harlem in Berry Gordy's "The Last Dragon."
• Your homework this weekend is to find, watch and love the shit out of Berry Gordy's "The Last Dragon." It's from 1985.
• Yes his hands are glowing in the photo above.
• Also played bounty hunter James "Lord Bowler" Lonefeather, the rival and eventual partner of one Brisco County, Jr.
• Also what you say when Caeser tries to cheat in volleyball.

• Not immediately available.
• Caught a bullet with his teeth?
• Nigga please.

• 56

mikefireball

• Playing the saxophone in the Dave Matthews Band.
• Mom it's my death day would you say

• Complications from an ATV accident on his farm in June.
• Does anybody have the details about this? "ATV" and "farm" are making me imagine an extravagant stunt involving Fonz-jumping over a herd of live cattle.
• You know what? I'm going with that one. That's the cause of death. I'm going to be disappointed when the details are actually revealed and I'm not even close, so I'm going to hang onto "Awesome stunt."

• doyy forced to listen to his own band doyyyy my names not funny jones

• MOORE LIEK LEROI NO MOORE

mikefireball

• Ten years of service in the cafeteria of South Park Elementary School as the once wise and soulful voice of Jerome "Chef" McElroy.
• Quitting a show that spent 10 years making jokes about Jews, Christians, Muslims, atheists, Aquaman and every other religion ever, because they got around to making jokes about his own.
• Being the first black winner of an Academy Award in a non-acting category for the music from 1971's Shaft. It also earned him two Grammys. Damn right.
• Won a third Grammy for the album Black Moses.
• Was crowned an honorary king of a district in Ghana in 1992 for some humanitarian work.
• Believing in Scientology.

• Unknown as of this publishing. Was found dead near a running treadmill at his home in Memphis.
• haha, running treadmill

• i decays nyeheheheheh

mikefireball

• Touring with the Original Kings of Comedy, which spawned various spin-off comedy groups, including the Blue Collar Comedy Tour. Conclusion: Bernie Mac is indirectly responsible for Larry the Cable Guy being famous.
• On the other hand, compared to the other three Kings of Comedy, his routine had the least amount of BLACK PEOPLE ARE DIFFERENT THAN WHITE PEOPLE jokes.
• Being the 47th Greatest TV Dad of All Time, according to TV Guide, for his role as "Bernie Mac" in The Bernie Mac Show. His near-accurate portrayal of himself earned him four NAACP Image Awards, as well as several Emmy and Golden Globe nominations.
• Helping George Clooney steal a bunch of awesome shit in Ocean's 11+n The Movies. Let n = the number in the series - 1.
• Being the first black vice president of the Alternate Reality United States (See: Head of State).
• Being inducted into an alternate reality Baseball Hall of Fame for his 2,999-hit career with the Milwaukee Brewers (Don't see: Mr. 3000).
• Selling an Autobot to some Jewish kid.

• Pneumonia, possibly related to sarcoidosis, which sounds like something you get from being too much of a smartass.

mikefireball

• Being the TV and radio broadcast voice of the Atlanta Braves from 1976 until — well, now.
• Oh also his given name is Harry Caray, Jr. His father was, like, the king of planets.
• Being funnier than your team's announcer. Skip Caray was better than Major League's Harry Doyle before Bob Uecker even was Harry Doyle. Especially when the Braves were bad. Among his best lines, courtesy of Wikipedia:
• "And, like lambs to the slaughter, the Braves take the field."
• "The bases are loaded, just like [Florida Marlins manager] Jack McKeon probably wishes he was."
• (at a pop fly) "That wouldn't have been a home run in a phone booth."
• (whenever Braves reliever Jung Bong would give up a hit) "That's another hit off of Bong."
• Being the headline of a bad review of a Sissy Spacek movie.

• Imagined he was a hot dog and ate himself.

• Bronchitis
• But I mean come on who doesn't hate the Yankees?

• 68.
• If he had held on for just nine more days I could've used the Bill and Ted graphic.

mikefireball

• Being a friend. That specific friend being Sophia Petrillo on "The Golden Girls."
• Despite playing Bea Arthur's mother on the show, Getty was actually a year younger than both Arthur and Betty White.
• Won an Emmy — amid seven straight nominations — and a Golden Globe amid three total nominations for her portrayal of Sophia.
• Also played the grandmother of both Rocky Dennis ("Mask") and Stuart Little ("Stuart Little"). Those are some crazy ass genes.
  
• Oh, then there's this:
  
  

• Her manager is citing natural causes, but Death Toll watcher R.D. Belcher (excuse me) submits the following:
  
  
  The funny thing is, there was just a huge gay convention in Miami last week. I actually walked in on someone watching gay porn and Golden Girls at the same time. Then, mere days after Miami sees more gays than ever leave town, a Golden Girl dies.

• is still deaddy

• 84
• Would have been 85 on Friday.

mikefireball

• Being dubbed "the dean of American baseball writers." So, "the dean of baseball writers."
• Inventing the save statistic, in which a relief pitcher maintains a lead until the end of the game.
• As of this posting some nerd on Wikipedia added an editorial to Holtzman's page calling the save statistic an abomination to the game. This person has not liked baseball since 1994 and can shut up.
• Was Major League Baseball's official historian from 1999 until — well, now.
• Being Fat Columbo, apparently.

• Steeee-roke

• Keep eating all those hot dogs and you're diggig Jerome Holtz, man. Nyahahahahaa

• 81
• There was a baseball strike in 1981. Should've seen it coming.

mikefireball

• Proclaiming himself a "Yankee for life." Was a Yankees outfielder for most seasons of his Major League career (1965-1983), a five-time All-Star and a Gold Glove winner.
• Also played briefly for the San Francisco Giants and Chicago Cubs between bookends in the Bronx.
• After retiring, was the Yankees' assistant general manager, hitting coach and broadcast announcer on WPIX and the YES Network.
• His shining moment was August 6, 1979. After giving the eulogy that morning for teammate and friend Thurman Munson, who died in a plane crash days before, the Yankees were down 4-0 in a home game vs. the then-good Baltimore Orioles (who would be the AL champions at the end of that season). Murcer hit a three-run home run in the 7th, and a two-run walk-off in the 9th. He never used the bat from that game again, instead giving it to Munson's widow.
• Too bad his number will never be retired. No. 2 is currently being worn by Derek Jeter.

• Brain cancer.
• Was diagnosed with a brain tumor in 2006.
• On Christmas Eve.
• Cancer hath no murcer.
• oh wait i guess it did