Castle Gloria

New fic up: On Tanks And War

2008-10-09T12:26:44Z

I've added a new fic to my webpage today, "On Tanks And War". I wasn't sure if I'd be able to make it this month, between a con in England last last weekend (with 2 new stories in the con zine!) and then the Eroica-gathering in Germany next week (+ a lot of other stuff at home and work), but then my great beta-readers worked very quickly on this little thing, so I thought I could put it up. :) Just a very small one, not even 2000 words, but hopefully some will like it anyway. The story can be found here:

http://anne-li.slashcity.net/

Betaed by Heather Sparrows and Kadorienne - great work, both of you!

Comments of all sorts are always welcome!

I Dream of Eroica: Genie Rescue

2008-10-07T20:46:01Z

I actually stole this story idea, of someone else getting and overusing the genie before the rightful master reclaims the bottle, straight from one of the episodes. And yes, I did have a spot of fun with the Britishisms.

BTW, I would be very grateful if someone would do some fan art for this series. *hint hint*

Coincidentally, Klaus just happened to be at the offices of the SIS the day Lawrence's superiors called him on the carpet. And so was able to offer succor to his comrade in arms.

"You've got to help me, Iron Klaus!" Lawrence was clutching his arm feverishly. They were alone in the office, but Lawrence kept giving the door fearful glances. "You wouldn't let an old friend like me hang, would you?"

"They still hang people in this country?" Klaus pried Lawrence's hands off his arm.

"I was speaking figuratively, old chap. But you're Iron Klaus! You have influence, favors owed you! You can help me!"

The Major remained unruffled. He took out a cigarette and lit it in a leisurely fashion. "Possibly, but you'll have to explain. Help you with what?"

"My superiors! They found out about my mansion! I have no idea how, but they did!"

"I wonder how."

"And now they think that I'm selling secrets to the Russians for all this money! *You* know that isn't true, Major!"

"Of course I do. You would never do that."

"I can't tell Her Majesty's Government that a genie conjured it all up for me!"

"I don't see why not. I thought the English were proud of their tradition of eccentricity."

Lawrence gave a despairing groan. "Inland Revenue is dismally out of touch with our traditions. And they know about the mansion too."

"Gracious." The Major did not seem surprised by this information.

The English agent grasped his arm again. "You'll help me, won't you, Iron Klaus? After all we've been through together?"

Klaus failed to see how two routine and utterly non-life-threatening missions qualified as "all we've been through together", but his expression became thoughtful. After considering for a moment, he said slowly, "I think perhaps I could. But…"

"Anything, old chum, anything!"

"Well, I would require Eroica's powers to get you out of this. You would have to return him to me."

Lawrence stared, crestfallen. Footsteps in the hall made him pale and he leapt for the safe under his desk. Even when the footsteps passed by without stopping, he did not pause in twirling the dial with shaking hands. He clutched the bottle, looking at it wistfully, for a moment before thrusting it into the Major's hands.

"Here he is! Now please, keep your promise!"

Klaus uncorked the bottle. "Eroica, come out of there," he ordered cheerfully.

A puff of smoke emerged and turned into Eroica, wearing an emerald green ensemble. When he saw his bottle in the Major's hands, he gave a cry of joy and flung his arms around Klaus's neck. "Master!"

Klaus tolerated the embrace grouchily. "Eroica, your ex-master there is in trouble, and I need your help to get him out of it."

The genie stepped away from him, his face falling. "Yes, Master," he said unhappily.

"His superiors and the tax collectors have found out about the things you conjured up for him. He's going to get in big trouble for having them unless you destroy the evidence."

A slow smile began to creep across the genie's pretty face. "At once, Master." He crossed his arms and bobbed his head.

"It's all gone?" Klaus asked. "The mansion, the cars, the girls?" Lawrence groaned, collapsing into the nearest chair.

"Yes, Master. And the yacht, and the summer home in Antibes, and-"

"Good God. Never mind the list, just so it's all gone."

"But my superiors have already seen it!" New footsteps outside made Lawrence frantic once more. "And they'll be here any moment! You said you had the influence to get me off the hook! You promised!"

Klaus looked at his genie. "Eroica?"

Once more Eroica folded his arms and bobbed his head. A second later, Lawrence's two immediate superiors strolled in. Eroica slipped back into his bottle just in time. Lawrence looked as if he wouldn't have minded following.

"Excellent work on that job in Berlin, old chap," one of them told Lawrence jovially.

"Be at my office for briefing on your next mission. Tennish. You're well on your way to getting a double-O!" the other said, clapping him on the back before they left.

Lawrence stared after them, mouth open. Klaus wondered if CPR was the proper response to apoplexy.

Eroica reappeared, grinning widely. The Major reminded him, "If there are any written records about Agent Lawrence's unaccountable wealth, you'll have to erase them."

"I have already done so, Master. Oh, it is so good to be out of the bottle!" Eroica said happily, trying to plaster himself against Klaus once more. Scowling, Klaus turned away so that the genie was only able to get at his side, but did not shove him away.

Lawrence found his voice. "But… how…."

"You really don't know all the things Eroica is capable of, do you?" Klaus commented, his tone detached. "You had no idea that he can erase things from people's memories?"

Lawrence's eyes bulged. "Wait, you mean…."

The other two looked at him, one smug, the other radiant.

"…I could have ordered Eroica to fix it myself?"

Klaus smiled as he had the day before at Lawrence's mansion, and this time the English agent recognized the smile for what it was. "Yes. You could."

Lawrence sputtered for a moment before declaring, "Iron Klaus, I'm surprised at you! That was not cricket!"

"Tricking you into returning something you stole from me?" Klaus shrugged. "I wouldn't know; football's my game." He tucked the bottle securely under his arm. "Eroica, put on something more suitable. We're going home."

The genie, incredibly enough, looked even more delighted than before. "You mean I do not have to travel in the bottle?"

Klaus shot Lawrence a brief scowl. "I'm never forcing you to get in that thing again."

"You are the most wonderful master in the world!"

Klaus stepped swiftly out of range of another crushing embrace. "Then show your gratitude by putting on a suit. I have to be back at the office before the workday's over."

Eroica folded his arms and bobbed his head, and the next thing the Major knew they were in his bedroom at Schloss Eberbach. Even though he knew the genie could do this, he couldn't help looking around in startlement. Eroica, he noticed, was now wearing a perfectly tailored light grey suit, even though there was no more reason for him to be dressed for public consumption.

This time Eroica didn't try to grab him, just his hand. "You rescued me! Oh, Master, let me reward you! Do you want a diamond mine? A fleet of ships? An antique Mercedes? Just say the word!"

"I don't want anything." Klaus pulled his hand away. "Except to be good at my job. And nobody can do that for me."

"Then why did you rescue me? You almost never let me do anything for you that any mortal could not do!"

"Lawrence did, and you didn't seem to like being his genie. If you had, I would have let him keep you."

"Master! You took me away from him to make me happy?"

"I couldn't leave you there, locked up in your bottle all day and magicking your fingers to the bone. Now, I'm going to go lock your bottle in the family vault so that idiot can't steal it again, and then I'm going to work. Will you *try* not to get me in trouble for the rest of the day? Not show up at any embarrassing moments bearing unexplainable gifts or distracting me when I'm trying to shoot people?"

The genie began to protest, but stopped himself. "I will do whatever you wish, Master," he said with an approximation of meekness.

"Good. I'll see you tonight." He walked out the door, leaving his genie alone.

Eroica vanished and rematerialized on the terrace, where he could lounge on the divan he conjured, feel the soft breeze and gaze at the gently rolling mountains of Germany. After days of being literally bottled up, it was a bit of heaven.

It was just as well his master hadn't wanted any reward at the moment. Eroica needed a rest.
***

I lied; there'll be one more installment.

I Dream Of Eroica

2008-10-06T04:36:02Z

There'll be one more after this. Thank you to grey_bard for beta, and to mprice for the series tag.

Klaus parked his Benz in front of the grandest mansion he had ever had the misfortune to lay eyes upon. Getting out, he gave the row of Rolls Royces - eight of them, all in different colors - a withering look before ascending the stairs and ringing the doorbell.

The servant who answered the door impressed him even less than the cars had. Bad enough to have a female butler... a young, curvaceous female butler... but surely the owner of this mansion could have afforded more than a few inches of cloth for her livery.

He ignored the conspicuously new, conspicuously expensive furniture as he was escorted inside and from there to the landscaped backyard with its Olympic sized swimming pool, full of shapely females of every imaginable variety wearing postage stamp-bikinis.

The proprietor was lounging on a deck chair as a dazzling blonde rubbed suntan oil into his skin and a stunning Japanese girl held a daiquiri for him to sip.

Klaus regarded the scene for a moment before remarking, "And to think that all I ever asked him for was cigarettes and Nescafe."

Lawrence sat up, startled, and regained his composure at once. "Iron Klaus! My old companion in arms! Esperanza, a drink for my bosom friend!"

Already the sight of female beauty was becoming boring. And would have even had Klaus been an enthusiast of female beauty. There was simply too much of it around. An exquisite young Hispanic woman in two scraps of scarlet fabric offered him a beer. It was a German brand, so he accepted it and took a token sip.

"No hard feelings, I hope?" Lawrence offered an ingratiating, only slightly oily smile.

Klaus smiled back. Lawrence lacked the discernment to recognize it for the danger signal it was. "Why should there be? All you did was steal a 2,000-year-old antique bottle containing a powerful genie from me after circumstance forced me to take you into my confidence." He looked around. "This place is... very you."

"Why, thank you!" Lawrence beamed. "This just goes to show what a man with imagination can do with a genie."

"Too bad I have no imagination," Klaus answered gravely. "May I see him?"

Lawrence shot him what was probably meant to be a shrewd look. "You aren't going to try to steal him back, are you? I have his bottle locked away safely."

"I am aware of that. I only wish to speak to him."

"I don't see why." However, with a shrug Lawrence clapped his hands. "Eroica!"

A puff of golden smoke appeared and resolved itself into Eroica in a golden harem outfit. He saw Klaus at once and gazed at him wistfully. "Hello, former master."

Klaus had never seen Eroica look tired before. Not haggard or exhausted, but tired, yes. "And how is my comrade in arms treating you?" he asked casually.

Eroica hesitated before saying ruefully, "I have never worked so hard in all my life."

Lawrence, unconcerned, was... paying attention to yet another female. A redhead. Good God, had the wanna-be James Bond just ordered one of every sort? Like he was collecting baseball cards?

Klaus looked back to Eroica, holding his gaze. "I haven't forgotten how many times you came to my rescue."

The Major's tone was casual, but Eroica understood. His face lit up with hope. Klaus quickly shook his head, just once, and Eroica quelled his joy. "That is very kind of you, former master," he replied, trying not to sound too happy.

"That's enough, Eroica," Lawrence drawled. "Back in your bottle."

"But Master! I haven't been out of it all day!"

"Back in your bottle," Lawrence repeated. The Major wanted to punch him. Didn't he understand that a genie wasn't just a magical toy?

As Eroica disappeared in his usual puff of smoke, Klaus turned to go, handing his nearly-full beer to the nearest female (this one appeared to hail from the subcontinent). "Leaving so soon, Major?"

"I'll see you again soon, I'm sure." Klaus paused at the door. "Enjoy your mansion."

While it lasted.

I Dream Of Eroica

2008-10-03T04:49:05Z

Another Genie!Eroica fic. Thank you to grey_bard for beta, and to mprice for adding the series tag!

"You are not to turn Fraulein Rüdlinger into a toad."

"Yes, Master."

"You are not to send her to any faraway countries."

"Yes, Master."

"You are not to inflict a contagious, temporarily disfiguring disease on her."

"Yes, Master."

"You are not to place a glamour on her that makes her believe me to be so ugly that even an eventual title and the Eberbach fortune cannot compensate for it."

"Yes, Master."

"You are not to create an illusion that will make her appear hideous to all the men who see her, leaving her to wonder why they are not responding normally to her flirting."

"Yes, Master." The genie's glumness lifted somewhat as he was reminded of how he had shooed Konstanze Hirsch away from his master. The shameless flirt had never been the same after that ball, and had shortly thereafter married a shy intellectual who had been hopelessly worshipping the popular beauty from afar for years. All in all, Eroica considered that he had done everyone concerned a favor.

Well, except for the senior Eberbach. Who had now found another prospective baby-machine to inflict on his son. And his dear master was so dutiful that he was escorting the tramp as ordered. Even though his master was firm that he had no intention of marrying any of the fertile wenches his father threw at his head, Eroica preferred not to have *his* master looked over like a stud animal by Germany's upper crust. After two thousand years trapped in that bottle, Eroica had no intention of sharing his rescuer. Major Eberbach was his!

Having extracted promises from his genie on every contingency he could imagine, the Major donned his tuxedo and showed up at the drearily formal gathering as his father had ordered. How anybody could endure such tedium was beyond him. He wondered if he could get through the evening without having to dance.

When he arrived, Herr Rüdlinger was making apologies to the senior Eberbach. “I had no idea Mieke could be so flighty. I really don’t know what the younger generation is coming to.”

Whatever these gloomy words portended, they were likely to be good news for Klaus. His spirits rose a bit.

His father glanced over and saw him. “Ehm, Klaus. I am afraid that Fraulein Rüdlinger was unable to attend.”

“Then I suppose there’s no point in my staying here,” Klaus replied, trying to sound disappointed.

“On the contrary!” his father said quickly. “I have been talking to a most charming young lady I’m certain you’ll be delighted to meet.”

His father was of course certain of nothing of the sort. But when Klaus reluctantly turned to acknowledge the girl his father was gesturing to, instead of resignation he felt a combination of relief and shock.

“Fraulein Doria Roth, may I present my son, Klaus von dem Eberbach?”

Where Eroica came up with his human names Klaus had no idea. And despite the fact that “Doria Roth” was quite obviously female – her childbearing hips and ample bosom no doubt had every aspiring grandparent in the room drooling – the sparkling sky-colored eyes and abundant golden hair were unchanged and unmistakable, the finely drawn features more delicate now but nonetheless the same. Had Eroica been a mortal, Klaus would have assumed “Doria” was his sister.

“Charmed,” Klaus said automatically, taking Doria’s hand gingerly. He couldn’t help noticing how much smaller the hand was now. Some men liked holding dainty little hands, he supposed. Klaus didn’t.

“I’m sure Fraulein Roth would like to dance, Klaus,” his father spoke up. Klaus wondered if some parents were more subtle.

Doria’s face – Doria’s narrow, painted, *female* face – lit up. “Oh, I would be delighted!”

At least dancing gave him a chance to ask what he couldn’t in front of his father. “I didn’t know you could do this,” he muttered once they were safely on the dance floor.

“Assume a female shape? I can assume any shape you would like, Master!” Speculation lit the genie’s eyes. “Is there some form you would find especially pleasing?”

“No!” Klaus shuddered to imagine the parade of movie stars Eroica would transform into if he thought it would.... “Wait. I thought you were male. That is....” If the genie could metamorphize at will, was he really male? Was he really anything?

“Genies can change shape, but we each have a true form. My true form is the one you have always seen me in.” Eroica paused, then continued reluctantly, “But if you prefer me as a female....”

“No! Ehm, stay like this for the evening. It’ll keep my father off my back for a while. You must have told my father you’re a countess who wants six children.”

“Precisely, Master!”

Klaus had been joking. He should have known better.

“So you prefer me as a male, Master?” The genie’s flirting tone sounded different with a female voice, even though it was a fairly low contralto.

Klaus allowed several measures of the music to pass before he answered. “I don’t feel comfortable around women,” he said at last. To forestall further discussion along these lines, he abruptly asked, “What did you do to Fraulein Rüdlinger?”

The wide-eyed-innocence look was even more melodramatic when Eroica assumed it with a female face. “I did nothing to her, Master!”

“Then why isn’t she here?”

“She has eloped with her chauffeur, Master.”

Klaus was trying not to look at his dancing partner too much, but the smugness was audible. “You put a love spell on her,” he said, resigned. He would have to add that to his list of things to order his genie not to do to prospective Frau Eberbachs.

“I did nothing of the kind, Master. She has been in love with her chauffeur for years. A very handsome young man, though of course not nearly so handsome as you, darling Master. But they could not marry because he did not have a penny to his name.”

“Until his Uncle Norbert died suddenly this afternoon and left him two million marks that nobody knew he had,” Klaus supplied.

“Master! I would not kill anyone.” The lilting voice was reproachful. “It so happens that the chauffeur has been writing novels for years. Today, a publisher finally accepted one of them, and is so confident that it will be a bestseller that the chauffeur was given a generous advance!”

“What a coincidence."

Eroica laughed softly. "It was well worth it to get to dance with you, Master." He - she - leaned her head against Klaus's shoulder. Instinctively he recoiled, as much as the steps of the waltz would allow.

The genie straightened and looked at Klaus curiously. Eroica was accustomed to Klaus's consistent discouragement of his overtures, but this reflexive bristling was something new. "You really do not like me as a girl, do you, Master?"

"'S creeping me out," he muttered.

Eroica bobbed his head and was a man again, back to his true form, and to his usual costume (more heavily jeweled than usual, as the occasion was fancy dress).

Klaus looked around in panic, but his genie reassured him swiftly. "Everyone else here is still seeing me as a woman, Master, do not worry."

It had to be true, as no one was staring at them. Klaus relaxed (as much as he ever did), though when he briefly met his father's approving gaze he had to look away.

Eroica contentedly rested his head on Klaus's shoulder again. Klaus decided to shut up and cope.

What the world needs now is crack, sweet crack...

2008-09-29T16:11:30Z

Do we need more insightful discussion about the political or financial situation right now? Or do we need crackfic based on bizarre shoujo manga and campy 60's television shows?

Yeah, that's what I think, too.

mprice gave me part of the idea for this one. And while I'm making acknowledgements: grey_bard betaed the first installment, ink_n_imp egged me on when I told her the idea a few weeks ago, and heathersparrows confirmed that Europeans have also been exposed to this cracktastic TV show and so would not read this and be reduced to blinking baffled at the screen. Thank you all!

Oh, and Marg, could I get a series tag for this? ^-^

~Kadorienne

The Major thought it was a waste of time for the Kunstmuseum to want to borrow some of his family's paintings, but loaning them was simply proper behavior for a family of the Eberbach's standing. Consequently, he left the office in the middle of the day with Z to help him pack the blasted things up. Family heirlooms couldn't be entrusted to just anyone.

When they reached the Schloss, they were already proceeding into the gallery when the butler appeared, his face a study in anxiety. Klaus let Z go on in as he went to learn what the problem was.

"Ehm, sir," Conrad almost stammered, "Eroica decided to… improve the gallery."

These words released more adrenaline than the sight of a Russian pointing a gun at him. Conrad was the only other person who knew about Eroica; his loyalty was unquestioned, and there was in any case no way to conceal it from him.

The Major hurried to the door of the gallery in time to see a shell-shocked Z emerge.

The damned genie was going to addle what few wits his youngest agent had. "Sit down," the Major ordered, pointing to the nearest chair. "Conrad, get him some water. No, brandy." Leaving Z to Conrad's care, Klaus charged into the gallery.

And stopped just inside. Despite Conrad's warning, he hadn't been at all prepared. Right in front of him was Michaelangelo's David. The gallery was now an incredibly vast room. The entire Schloss could have fit into it at least twice. Beyond the David was Rodin's Thinker, the Mona Lisa, and dozens of other statues and paintings Klaus couldn't possibly have named, but he knew they were classics; he had seen them on postcards and stuff.

For the next three minutes he gave a masterful display of polylingual obscenity at high volume. When he stopped to gasp for breath, his chest tight (the genie was going to bring on his guaranteed eventual heart attack early), his genie was standing before him, in a costume the color of his robin's-egg eyes, looking puzzled.

"But… does your new collection not please you, Master?" Eroica asked, sounding genuinely surprised.

Klaus's response was a roar of fury. His arm shot out to seize Eroica, but the genie sensibly dematerialized and the Major was left gripping thin air. When his rage-clouded vision cleared, Eroica was perched on the David's shoulder, looking down at him worriedly.

"If you were human for just five minutes, I'd show you how much this pleases me," Klaus yelled up at him.

"Oh, very well." Eroica folded his arms and bobbed his head. An instant later the Eberbach collection was back, the Man In Purple presiding over it as he had for centuries. It was the first time Klaus had ever been happy to see the wretched thing, though the thousandth that he had wished his ancestor had had more seemly taste in clothing. Purple pumpkin pants! What had Tyrian been thinking?

"Keep it this way," Klaus growled, and stalked out. Z was still sitting down, dabbing at his face with a damp handkerchief. There was nothing for it but to act as if everything were normal, even though nothing had been normal since the day Klaus had found that bottle. "On your feet, Z," he barked, and the still dazed agent obeyed and followed him into the gallery as though it were a dungeon. When he saw the restored interior, he made a sort of gurgling noise, which the Major ignored.

Not so easily ignored was the well-dressed gentleman who was examining The Man In Purple with an appraising air. At least the genie was now wearing a tailored grey suit. And gold-wire-rimmed glasses, as if that would make his riotous hair and too-pretty face less flashy.

"I am Dorian Red, from the museum," Eroica explained to Z, who had stopped goggling at the gallery to goggle at Eroica. "I shall be travelling with the paintings to keep an eye on them."

Well, at least that would keep the genie out from underfoot for a couple of days.

Z surreptitiously straightened his tie and smoothed his hair. "Oh, that's excellent. I'm glad these great works will be in such capable hands."

Klaus grimaced at Z's babbling. The silly boy would flirt with anything goodlooking. "Z! Get over here and help me get this one down." The painting in question was six feet across.

"Yes, sir, sorry, sir." Z leapt to obey. When the canvas was down, Eroica murmured behind them, "You must be so strong."

Klaus turned, but before he could answer, he realized that Eroica was speaking to Z. And smiling at him. And looking him over the same way he had looked over the stupid painting.

Z smiled back hopefully. "I do have to keep in shape, what with being in the Army and all-"

"Go back to the office, Z," the Major cut in. "'Mr. Red' and I will finish with the paintings."

"Yes, sir," Z said, disappointed. He looked at Eroica. "Perhaps we'll see each other when the paintings-"

"*Now*, Z," the Major snapped. Chastened, the boy left, with a lingering look at Eroica. Which the nuisance of a genie did nothing to discourage, holding Z's gaze and all but fluttering his lashes.

As soon as the door was shut, Klaus ordered, "Stay away from that decent German boy!"

"Master!" The genie's delight was unholy. "You are *jealous*!"

"I am not," the Major grumbled.

As usual, his genie paid him no heed. "You know you are the only man for me, Master," he cooed, flinging his arms around Klaus's neck.

Klaus tried to shove Eroica away. "Verdammt! I have to pack up these paintings!"

Eroica bobbed his head, and the designated paintings vanished from the walls. "Where-" Klaus began, but Eroica assured him, "They are all safely packed in the crate outside, Master, just waiting for the truck to pick them up. Oh, you are so handsome when you are jealous!"

"Harrumph."

I Dream of Eroica

2008-09-28T16:08:53Z

Sorry it took me a few days to get this second installment written. More to come!

"I need some coffee," the Major muttered, not looking up from his desk. He said it aloud from habit, even though his alphabet had gone home long ago; none of them were there to mix some Nescafé and hurry to press it into his hand.

Which was why the Major jumped, spilling some of the hot liquid onto the mound of papers on his desk, when a brimful cup floated into his hand.

"Eroica, don't do that without warning me!" he complained, taking a gulp of the coffee before mopping up the spill with his handkerchief.

Eroica materialized leaning over the Major solicitously. Tonight's outfit was the usual half-vest and filmy pants, turquoise this time, leaving his chest scandalously bare and providing only token covering for his legs. "Master, it is nearly ten o'clock! Cannot your alphabet do this for you?"

"No." Klaus put a fresh cigarette in his mouth. His genie folded his arms and bobbed his head and the cigarette ignited as Klaus was reaching for his lighter. Klaus coughed once as the unexpected smoke went down the wrong way, but adapted quickly. "I'm the only one who has contacts at this level."

"But it is so late! Let me at least get you some dinner."

"No!" The last time Klaus had allowed this, Eroica had conjured an elaborate gourmet feast that could easily have hardened the arteries of the entire alphabet, right there in his spartan office. "I had A bring me sandwiches before I sent him home."

"Sandwiches? When I could give you-"

"I'm not hungry," Klaus interrupted firmly.

"But you are tired, Master," the genie cooed, extending a hand to smooth Klaus's hair back from his forehead. The Major grumpily batted his hand away. "You need your rest!"

"No, I need this Soviet code machine. The mole who was going to get it for us was transferred. I was thinking about blackmailing this man," the Major thumped a dossier, "but I'm suspicious; I think his alleged drug problem is a ruse to make us think we can blackmail him."

"What is this 'code machine'?" the genie asked.

"It…." The Major started to rub his eyes, but quickly stopped; showing any sign of fatigue or discomfort in front of his genie was sure to result in excessive concern. He sat up straight. "It looks like a typewriter, but they use it to create coded messages. If we had one, we could decipher their code and read their messages."

Eroica put his hands on his hips. "You are wasting me! Any mortal man could make you Nescafé. Why did you not ask me for this?" He held his arms out and bobbed his head, and a code machine appeared in his grasp.

The Major stared at it, feeling as if the breath had been knocked out of him. As Eroica placed it on his desk, Klaus struggled with himself. He didn't want to depend on Eroica's magic to do his job for him, and yet, what this machine could mean for NATO….

Looking smug, the genie moved behind him and started massaging his shoulders. "Now you will come home, won't you, Master? You must be exhausted."

The Major shrugged off the soothing hands. "Eroica, I don't think…."

The door opened and the Chief strolled in with a couple of folders. "Major, I just received word that – You got it!" He stared at the code machine, thunderstruck.

So much for ordering Eroica to send the contraption back.

"How did you do it so quickly?" the Chief asked, patting the machine as if to make certain it was real.

"Well, ehm…." Klaus was of course a trained liar, but he could have used a minute to think. Half a minute. Ten seconds.

"I stole it for him," Eroica's voice said behind him.

Horrified, Klaus whipped his head around. The genie knew he was supposed to disappear if someone else came in! Klaus would never be able to explain why he had a shamelessly beautiful man wearing a harem outfit in his office after hours.

But Eroica was now wearing a skintight burglary catsuit, with no jewelry at all. Even his hair was now clipped short.

"You might say that sort of work is my specialty," Eroica went on with a slight smile.

"I had no idea you had that sort of contacts, Eberbach," the Chief said. To Klaus's further irritation, he sounded impressed rather than disapproving.

"Part of the job." Klaus tried to sound as if hiring professional thieves was a routine part of his life. "I'll take this to Cryptography."

"You should lock it in the inner office. Just a minute and I'll get you the key."

"No need," Eroica offered sweetly. "I can pick the lock for him."

The Chief blinked. "Oh, of course. Can we count on your services again, Mr…."

"He owed me one favor," the Major cut in before Eroica could get himself on the NATO payroll. That was all he needed. "But we'll see what we can work out." He shot Eroica a significant look to keep him quiet. He'd better get him out of the Chief's presence, too, and fast. He stood and picked up the code machine. "Come with me and we'll see what you can do with that lock."

When they were out of the Chief's range, Klaus hissed, "What are you doing in that ridiculous outfit?"

"You told me to wear modern clothes if other mortals ever saw me."

"Yes, but not that obscene tight…." Words failed him.

Eroica preened. "I thought it was rather becoming. Except for the dreary haircuts men today wear. Two thousand years ago, men had far more style." He bobbed his head, not breaking his stride, and the long golden curls were back.

Klaus shifted his grip on the code machine to open the door to the Cryptography office. "Why didn't you conjure up a suit instead?"

Now Eroica looked genuinely puzzled. "Is this not what thieves wear in the modern world?"

"You saw a thief wearing an outfit like that on television."

"Why, yes, Master!"

"I never should have shown you how the idiot box works."

"Oh, but it is more fun than a flying carpet!" He folded his arms and bobbed his head, and the inner door unlocked itself and opened. The Major stowed the code machine and then locked the room back up. "Now will you come home and go to bed, Master?"

"Yes. And you will get into your bottle," he added sharply.

"Master!" the genie protested, but in this matter, as always, his master stood firm.

"In the bottle," he repeated firmly.

"Yes, Master," Eroica answered with resignation, and turned to a puff of turquoise smoke.

Mortals could be so unreasonable.

FAN ART inspired.

2008-09-26T10:45:49Z

Hello, everyone.
I read Filigree Silver's "Patronus" and a EROICA/HP fic (very sorry but I forgot who wrote it) yesterday and this pic just poped up.
Hope you enjoy and wish Filigree won't be mad at me.

YOU

Last piece - at last.

2008-09-26T05:30:39Z

Title: Complicated Matter of the Highest Priority
Author: chemcat
Warnings: swearing, m/m sex implied.
Spoilers: none.
Pairing: Klaus/Dorian.
Rating: PG-13 (I think).
Disclaimer: Klaus and Co belong to Aoike Yasuko.
Length: 885 (MS Word).
Beta reader: Priceless mprice (thank you!). All remaining mistakes are mine only.
Summary: Has marriage changed the Major? Has it changed Eroica?
Side notes: The story follows That’s how the Soldiers Do That and Too Late to Take It Back? but can be read as stand-alone either. Takes place after 2002 in Paris, France, where the Major is on a mission.

Complicated Matter of the Highest Priority

Allowance [Dorian x Klaus]

2008-09-25T19:37:34Z

Title: Allowance
Mirror: [FF.Net] [LJ]
Pairing: Dorian x Klaus
Rating: G
Summary: “Why didn’t you try CPR?”

( Read more... )

Eroica ficlet

2008-09-25T04:49:26Z

Recently I was watching reruns of a certain classic TV show, and... well, Eroica happened. (I'm not going to say which series because if anyone with computer access doesn't recognize this series, we need to start looking for the pods.) This is the first of what will be a short series of ficlets.

The Major crouched behind the stack of crates as KGB bullets whizzed past, the adrenalin racing through his bloodstream, his Magnum poised and ready. The instant there was a pause in the barrage, he lunged out and emptied a few rounds at the Russian's hiding place before swiftly taking cover once more.

He couldn't hold back a savage grin. If only every workday could be as much fun as this one.

"Give up your useless pursuit, Iron Klaus!" Mischa's voice accompanied another volley of shots. "You will never stop us from getting that microfilm out of your decadent capitalist country!"

Klaus reflected that he should probably find out who had invented microfilm, and light a candle for the man if he was dead. His life wouldn't be nearly as exciting without the stuff. It might as well have been made from bits of the True Cross or the Golden Fleece, the way people in his line of work carried on about every piece of it.

"You might as well just hand it over to me now," the Major taunted. "Along with your weapon."

"Hah! You Germans always-" Mischa's abruptly trailed off in an undignified yelp.

"What's the matter? Are you all right?" Klaus demanded anxiously. If Mischa were hurt, who would he play with? The KGB didn't have anyone else who could possibly offer Klaus any challenge.

Several pungent Russian curses answered before Mischa shouted, "However you did this, western dog, I will learn the secret and our scientists will duplicate it! Every one of our agents will have a device like yours!"

"Device?" Was this a trick intended to make him emerge from cover? Or... a horrible suspicion dawned. He took a very cautious peek out from behind the crates.

Mischa was half concealed behind a large pillar, scowling down at the weapon in his hand. A weapon which was made of garish red plastic, and squirted water when he experimentally pressed the trigger.

The Major retreated to his shelter. "Eroica!" he yelled.

Instantly Eroica appeared, lounging on his side odalisque-style in mid-air as was his wont. Today's filmy harem pants were lavender, and the satin half-vest was a complementary purple, as were the gems in his jangling gold jewelry. "Yes, Master?" he cooed sweetly.

"You did that to Mischa's gun!" he accused.

"Of course, Master! He is very careless with his bullets, one of them might have hit you!"

"I should've left that verdammter bottle on the beach," the Major grumbled.

Eroica laughed. "Oh, you do not mean that, Master," he chided, floating closer and planting a kiss on the Major's cheek. Klaus ignored this, as he could only yell about one thing at a time.

"Eroica, I did not spend ten years training in weapons and hand-to-hand combat so that a genie could protect me from my enemies. Now give him his gun back this instant!"

The genie pouted. "Oh, if you insist, Master." He straightened to sit cross-legged a few feet above the floor, folded his arms before him, and gave his head a quick bob before resting his chin sulkily on his fist with a put-upon sigh. "You are more difficult to please than any master I have ever had."

"Sorry about that," the Major muttered absently, readying his Magnum again as Mischa began firing bullets at him again. "The polar bear isn't going to remember this, is he?"

"Of course not, Master. Really, you have no faith in me at all." Eroica bobbed his head again and vanished in a puff of smoke and pique.

"You are no match for me, Iron Klaus!" Mischa's voice sounded farther away now, but the volley of bullets continued. Klaus cursed - in Russian, as he liked to keep his profanity in practice in every language. When he heard the door out of the warehouse creak open, he gave chase, reaching the door just in time to glimpse Mischa's smirking face through the window of a van as it skidded past him, tires squealing.

The Major hurried back inside. There was a phone somewhere inside, he knew. He would notify the alphabets to blockade the road and stop Mischa before he reached the border.

As he ran past the pillar Mischa had been hiding behind, a glint on the floor caught his eye. He stopped and snatched it up. It was the microfilm.

The Major scrutinized it with narrowed eyes before tucking it securely in his pocket.

Strictly speaking, it wasn't fair, but some genie favors he just couldn't send back.

New Eroicafic.

2008-09-19T21:49:13Z

Short, and fluff-ish.

Fixed, 846 words. Containment is not just a political strategy.

Birthday

2008-09-17T04:45:33Z

As you may be aware, mprice had birthday on 13th September. On this occasion, Dorian and Klaus wished her Happy Birthday! I assume, I have her permission to share this short graphic story of Dorian's and Klaus' ~~misfortunes~~ preparations.

Disclaimer: Art and characters belong to Aoike Yasuko.

Dorian, Klaus, and Margaret's birthday.

I'm sorry mods, I didn't know how to tag the entry, so please feel free to change the tag.

Assorted Calendars

2008-09-13T20:34:50Z

I've made some calendars for this year. ^^ I had originally made some before, but I wasn't able to post them up because they weren't Eroica related (mostly Square Enix) and so I ended up making two different ones for the community.

First, a Roxas/Axel calendar, art by Kunisaki, words from Our Last Summer by ABBA.

October, featuring Oogie Boogie's house from Kingdom Hearts.

October Before

November with King John from Robin Hood.

December with Yuna from Final Fantasy X.

January with Kairi from Kingdom Hearts.

And finally, the Eroica ones. September for this year features Klaus. I think it's from the artbook, but I can't really be sure. I just went through my sister's Eroica file on the computer.

And October for this year with Dorian.

In a way, the two calendars are paired together, mostly because of the colour contrasts between them.

New fic up: The Cup of Nimue

2008-09-12T09:33:36Z

I've added a new fic to my webpage: "The Cup of Nimue". I'm a bit "late" in posting this month, as this is a zine-story and I was waiting for it to time out. But now I have permission to post it, finally. :) It is around 11.000 words long, previously published in Horizontal Mosaic volume 13. I can really recommend this zine - they did lovely illustrations to my story! :) This is a fairly early work of mine, written in September 2006 and it is a crossover with Brimstone. It can be found here:

http://anne-li.slashcity.net/

Betaed not only by Heather Sparrows and Kadorienne, but also by the brilliant team at Blackfly Presses. Thank you, everyone!!
Comments of all sorts (good and bad) are always welcome! I hope you will like it!

Eroica Stationary

2008-08-29T03:55:20Z

I love stationary. If it's pretty or cute, I can't ever pass it up, no matter that I have more notebooks that I will peruse through the course of my entire life. I won't pass by something covered in strawberries or stars, no matter what. My sister made a Terry Pratchett notepad in her Comm Tech class, and I decided to try my hand at doing an Eroica one.

The Alphabet, James, Mischa and Klaus come from this picture, posted up in Castle Gloria, here in my Photobucket:
http://s529.photobucket.com/albums/dd332/eroica_symphony/From%20Eroica%20With%20Love/?action=view&current=SketchesbyAoike.gif

Unfortunately, I couldn't find a working picture of Klaus, so he resides in the background. If you have any Klaus chibbis, do share.

Comments and criticism, are, as ever, welcome. Whack 'em to me.

Fic: Long Winter Nights

2008-08-25T18:51:24Z

fanfic100 prompt: 061 - Winter

Rating: PG

Pairings: Dorian/Klaus

Notes: A mood piece that’s been waiting to be written since I read the Rev’s story “A Good Thief” two years ago!

Summary: Looking out at the bright lights competing with the full moon overhead, Dorian felt more isolated than ever.

By: Margaret Price

Written: August 2008

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Long Winter Nights

Dorian stood at the window of his darkened bedroom looking into the night. Somehow, he had thought that coming to his house in the city would make him feel less alone. Yet, looking out at the bright lights competing with the full moon overhead, Dorian felt more isolated than ever. At least in the North Downs he could see the moonlight reflected off the snow, turning the night that unmistakable blue glow of winter. Instead, he only saw the glare of the streetlights and dark slushy snow being thrown up by passing cars.

After several minutes, Dorian shivered and pulled the drapes, shutting out the cold glare of the night. He wished he could shut out the empty feeling he had within him with equal ease.

He was alone. Again.

Dorian tried to shake his melancholy thoughts from his mind as he crossed to the bed and switched on the lamp. He threw a quick glance over to the door, knowing all he need do was ask and James would very happily share his bed, even if it were only to keep him company. Even though the accountant was still annoyed with him for insisting on moving to London. James was always quick to forgive whenever the opportunity to get close to the Earl presented itself. Even now.

Dorian drew a deep breath, going on to change for bed, looking long and hard at himself in a mirror. How long would he continue in this solitude? Waiting. Hoping. Praying that…

Dorian closed his eyes. Best not to dwell on the negative, he thought as he pulled back the blankets and slipped into bed. He had been able to distract himself at Christmas, all the gaiety, the parties, and a new acquisition from an art collection that was being placed in storage. It would be several months before the theft was discovered. Several months after Mr. James had disposed of the less attractive pieces.

But that was last month. All the parties were over. The holiday decorations packed away. All the lights safely stored, leaving the long, dark, cold winter nights—alone. It was always easier to bear these cold nights when one had someone to snuggle up to.

Again, Dorian tried to shake these thoughts from his head. Dwelling on such things was not good for his spirits. Not at all. As he switched off the light, he wondered if he should go someplace warm until springtime. He had been teasing James with the idea whenever he whined about coming to London. Perhaps it wasn’t such a bad one after all.

As Dorian mentally went through the list of locations that would very likely send Mr. James into a fit of apoplexy, he drifted off to sleep.

* * *

Sleep was not restful. Again.

Dorian found himself tossing and turning for most of the night, his mind filled with unwanted images of cold unwelcoming places rather than the warm, sun-kissed locations that he planned to tease James with. Just as he was settling under the blankets, he heard the sound of movement in the room.

“James, how many times must I tell you not to sneak into my room any longer?” Dorian scolded, turning over to switch on the light.

“Shall I tell him to stop?”

Dorian froze, his hand on the light switch. His heart jumped at the unexpected, and familiar, voice. “Major…?” he said softly. He switched on the light and quickly sat up in bed.

The Major’s eyes narrowed against the sudden glare. He was in the easy chair near the bed. On the table beside him was a mug that very likely contained coffee. His cigarettes and lighter were beside the mug. Dorian wondered if it had been the sound of the cup being placed on the table that woke him. Or perhaps it was the sound of the Major crushing out the still smoking cigarette butt in an amazingly empty ashtray.

“How…? When…?” Dorian struggled to get his thoughts together. “How long have you been sitting there?” he asked finally.

The Major glanced at a wall clock. “About two hours.”

Dorian’s eyebrows went up, his eyes widening. “Two hours? You’ve been sitting there in the dark for two hours…watching me sleep?”

The Major startled the Earl further when he calmly replied, “Bonham told me you’ve been having trouble sleeping. I didn’t want to wake you.”

Dorian sat staring for a several very long seconds. “I…was worried about you,” he said at last.

The Major merely grunted.

“How long have you been back from your mission?”

“A week. I’ve been in one debriefing after another. Now I have to go over everything again with the SIS in a bloody conference.”

Dorian brightened. “Does that mean you’ll be here a bit longer than a few hours?”

The Major gave a disgusted snort. “If the SIS are true to form, there will be one delay after another before the conference takes place.”

For the first time in a very long time, Dorian broke into a bright smile. He shifted over in bed, patting the empty place beside him. He received a dark look in reply, which only caused him to brighten further. “Don’t give me that look, Klaus. You look like death warmed up. I’m sure a short nap will do you some good.”

“Getting in bed with you rarely ends in…sleep.”

Dorian held up his left hand, putting his right on his chest. “No hanky-panky. Swear on my mother’s grave.”

Klaus was already slipping off his shoes. “Your mother is still alive,” he said as he got to his feet.

“Whatever,” Dorian said dismissively, patting the place beside him again. “You can sit on top of the blankets, if it will make you feel better.”

Klaus nodded. “Only a nap,” he said firmly. “I have to be at that damned conference at nine o’clock.”

Dorian looked at the clock as the Major adjusted the pillows before getting on the bed and settling back. Plenty of time, he thought. When Klaus switched off the light, Dorian snuggled against the inviting warmth beside him that he had been aching for for so many months. He gave a contented sigh as an arm wrapped around his shoulders.

The exhausted officer closed his eyes, leaning his head back. He was asleep within a few minutes. Dorian listened to the man’s soft snores and smiled to himself. He wanted to cherish every moment his beloved was with him. He leaned his head against Klaus’s chest, putting an arm across him to snuggle up more.

This was how Bonham found them a few hours later when he came to tell the Major that Mr. Z had called with the message that the conference had been delayed a week. He placed the message beneath the officer’s cigarettes where he would be sure to find it, going on to cover the Major with a blanket. Then he silently slipped from the room. Both his “bosses” needed their rest.

—END—

Newwww Chapterrr

2008-08-25T05:50:36Z

TBH, I don't know how I'm going to finish this. My mind is already racing to ten different ideas and it can't stay concentrated on this, and the story, as of yet, still has the final parts to be written. In a way I've sort of lost the motivation and passion to write it.

Aw well. Maybe I'll practice being a real novelist and just force myself to finish it. I don't believe in writer's block, after all, and the story is best finished.

Anyway, sorry to unload that on all of you. I didn't mean to sound so angsty. xP I hope you enjoy this next chapter, and I apologize for the gap in updates.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4434010/5/In_the_Shadows

Sequel

2008-08-24T07:07:02Z

Title: Too Late to Take It Back
Author: chemcat
Warnings: swearing, m/m sex implied.
Spoilers: none.
Pairing: Klaus/Dorian
Rating: PG-13 (I think)
Disclaimer: Klaus & Co belong to Aoike Yasuko.
Length: 512 (MS Word)
Beta reader: mprice - thank you once again. Remaining mistakes are mine only.
Summary: Dorian and Klaus are so married – literally. Now, the Major is in for a rough ride (Sentence stolen from the mprice ’s comment. Hope you won’t mind too much).
Side notes: Companion piece to the That’s How the Soldiers Do That, so naturally, it takes place after year 2002. Let’s move to Eberbach’s castle.

Too Late to Take It Back?

Slashy Eroica snippet

2008-08-22T17:29:17Z

Pairing: Duh.

Dorian strolled into the sitting room of the rented cottage, toweling his hair. Klaus looked up and found, to his shock, that the Earl was completely naked.

“What do you want to do for dinner, darling? Shall you cook or shall I?”

Klaus found his voice. “Must you parade around like that?”

Dorian tossed him an amused glance. Klaus failed to see the humor in the situation. “For heaven’s sake, Klaus, you’ve seen it all now, why should I hide it? It’s not as if anyone else is going to see me.”

“Because! You’re not taking a bath and you’re not – not having sex! There’s no reason for you not to cover yourself!”

Now Dorian giggled. “So it’s improper to be naked in a sitting room, but all right in the bathroom or the bedroom? What if I were to go into the kitchen now and cook dinner naked?”

Klaus winced. He was indeed appalled at the very idea. “Have you always been this shameless?”

Dorian finished with the towel and regarded his lover with tolerant humor. “Yes, I have. And it’s a good thing, too, because you, my beloved Papist, have more than enough shame for both of us.”

Klaus sighed. “I’ll cook dinner.”

“You’re afraid I’ll carry out my threat of cooking naked, aren’t you?”

“Yes.” Why try to prevaricate? He started to get up. Dorian leaned over him and stopped him with a hand on his shoulder.

“Very well, love. I’ll let you cook, and I’ll even get dressed myself, but only if you stay in that chair for the next ten minutes.” With a fluidly graceful movement, Dorian knelt.

“You’re not going to-"

“I certainly am,” Dorian disagreed, unfastening Klaus’s trousers.

“Why don’t we go into the bedroom for this?” Klaus suggested, in what he hoped was a reasonable tone.

“Not if you want me to be clothed while we eat dinner.”

Under the circumstances, Klaus had no choice but to stay put. “An Earl should have more sense of propriety,” he grumbled.

“No doubt,” was the last thing Dorian said.

Eroica Calender

2008-08-20T23:35:53Z

Another depressing reminder that school is about to start. However, if it's Eroica, it can't be that bad. This is my first try at making a calender, and it's probably hopelessly primitive. Comments and criticism are appreciated.

A reminder and comm update

2008-08-18T17:11:18Z

I have added a listing of other Eroica related LJ comms on the info page. If you know of any that I missed, please let me know.

Thank you to everyone who has posted fan fiction and fan art to the community.

Fried-Potatoes has a fan fiction and fan art section for your posting and viewing pleasure.

And everyone is welcome to post their own Eroica fan fics, or the link to their favorite Eroica fics in Eroicafans.org's fan fic archive.

New Chapter

2008-08-13T00:27:16Z

And it's Dorian-centric! I hope everyone enjoys it. Feel free to comment.

Disclaimers found in the first post.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4434010/4/In_the_Shadows

New fic up: The Name of the Game

2008-08-11T09:03:10Z

I've added a new fic to my webpage. It is called "The Name of the Game" and is the third story in the series that began with "Not So Horrible" and continued with "Lies and Deception". If you haven't read them or have forgotten most about them, you might want to read them again, as The Name of the Game will then make much more sense. :) There will be (at least) one more story in this series, but I think the stories so far stand fairly well on their own.

Fairly long, about 20.000 words. The story can be found here:

http://anne-li.slashcity.net/

Betaed by Heather Sparrows (big thank you!) and Kadorienne (big thank you!). You made the story much better!

Comments of all sorts are always welcome!

Another chapter

2008-08-08T21:41:54Z

Chapter three is up.

Klaus goes to West Hollywood.

That's all you need to know. :D

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4434010/3/In_the_Shadows

Fic: This Just In

2008-08-07T00:57:12Z

mosellegreen's answer to the reviewer who had Dorian as a Hollywood star has inspired me to add my own bit of silliness in the form of a press release.

Straight from the AP wire! This Just In