ON MY GREAT EXPEDITION THOROUGHT THE ENTIRE WORLD, I FOUND THIS THING:


AND THIS HIDEOUS MONSTER!!!!!


( ADVENTURES!(PICTURES AHEAD) )


SO WHAT HAVE YOU ALL DONE WHILE I WAS GONE?

IT HAS COME TO MY ATTENTION THAT MANY PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MISSING FOR SEVERAL MONTHS. IT HAS ALSO COME TO MY ATTENTION THAT I HAVE BEEN MISSING FOR SEVERAL MONTHS. THERE IS ONLY ONE LOGICAL EXPLANATION...

THE DAI LI MUST HAVE BEEN RE-ESTABLISHED AND THE ORGANIZATION IS ATTEMPTING TO KIDNAP THE ENTIRE WORLD.

OF COURSE THIS IS JUST A THEORY. BUT IT'S MY THEORY AND THEREFORE MUST BE RIGHT. UNFORTUNATELY, I HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO COMBAT THIS PROBLEM, SEEING AS HOW I HAVE JUST BECOME UN-MISSING. I HAVE AMNESIA FOR THE PAST COUPLE MONTHS. THE DAI LI MUST HAVE BRAINWASHED ME.

...

I NEED TEA.

/ZUKO SORRY ABOUT THE LAME INACTIVITY. I WOULD SAY THAT I'VE BEEN BUSY WITH MY FIRST YEAR OF COLLEGE, BUT THAT'S NOT A VERY GOOD EXCUSE...

OKAY, SO ZUKO AND JET WERE WALKING ALONG, AND KATARA COMES UP TO THEM ON AN OSTRICH HORSE.
SHE GETS OFF THE OSTRICH HORSE, TAKES OFF ALL HER CLOTHES, AND PUTS THEM IN A PILE ON THE GROUND. THEN, SHE TURNS TO ZUKO, BUCK NAKED, AND SAYS: 'TAKE WHAT YOU WILL.' A WHILE LATER, JET AND ZUKO ARE RIDING TOGETHER ON AN OSTRICH HORSE AND JET SAYS: "I THINK YOU MADE THE RIGHT CHOICE. THOSE CLOTHES WOULDN'T HAVE FIT YOU ANYWAY." AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'M BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!!

YOU MAY ALL NOW REJOICE ACCORDINGLY.

I BROUGHT CACTUS JUICE. AND FANCY GROSS FOODS. THAT I MADE. AND THAT YOU WILL EAT. OR ELSE.

KANNA, BB, I'M BACK!! I SORT OF GOT EATEN BY A SPIRIT PANDASHRIMP. DON'T LAUGH. D: IT WAS SLIMY.

DOOD. I WAS WONDERING WHERE ALL THE WHITE WOMEN PEOPLE WENT TO. TURNS OUT THEY'RE ALL HERE.

GOOD JOB, M. NIGHT, ROUNDING 'EM UP LIKE THAT.

I HAD TO GO HOME TO VISIT MY FAMILY AND LAST NIGHT I SAW MY MOM KISSING A FAT BEARDED GUY DRESSED IN RED CARRYING A SACK FULL OF SOMETHING.

GENERAL IROH, WHAT WERE YOU DOING WITH MY MOM??

//TY LEE
OF COURSE, IT ISN'T IROH.

WITH HOT FIRE LADY AND HAWK BUDDY GONE, I BELIEVE I AM CLOSE TO DEATH THIS TIME AROUND. I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO HANGING WITH YUE, AZULON AND OTHER DED FOLKS. SPECIALLY THE HOT LADY AVATARS WHO ARE SECRETLY GHEY. IT'S TRU. 

SO THANKS FOR THE SEARCH PARTY FUCK-FACES.  : )


//CHONG

I MISS YOU HOYS. ;______; ALSO! I AM A DOUCHE FUCK.

MORTALS OF THE WORLD, I HAVE FOUND TROO LUV AND HIS NAME IS OH-HEAVE!

IT WAS AWESOME YOU GUYS. HE IS MY ANGEL GOD FAIRY PRINCESS ADONIS AND I WILL LOVE HIM ~*FOREVER*~ I'VE NEVER MET ANYONE SO MUCH LIKE ME. IT'S ALMOST LIKE SELF-SERVICING... ONLY BETTER CUZ YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO IT YOURSELF!

I'M TELLIN' YA, IT WAS LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT.

WE DANCED. THEN WE KISSED. THEN I BENT HIM TINY ROCK HEARTS. THEN I STRUNG THEM TOGETHER ON METAL WIRING AND SHOVED THEM UP HIS ASS.

AND WHEN I WOKE UP HE WAS GONE.

SO ALL YOU BITCHES ARE GONNA HELP ME FIND HIM.

AREN'T YOU!

/TOPH
SEEMS LIKE NOBODY KNEW WHAT I WAS ON ABOUT. YOU CAN FIND OUT HERE.

I RECENTLY DISCOVERED THAT THIS ENTIRE TIME I WAS NOT ASIAN.

BUT IN FACT, WHITE.

MY CHILDREN, IS THIS TRUE? HAVE I BEEN LIED TOO ALL THESE YEARS?

OK. I'VE BEEN REALLY PATIENT AND HAVEN'T MENTIONED IT MUCH BUT..

WHERE THE *HELL* IS ZEI?!

I AM 6 MONTHS OR SO PREGNANT WITH HIS CHILD, AND HE JUST GOES AND DISAPPPEARS. SO MUCH FOR SUPPORTING ME! PLUS I HAVE HOPE TO CARE FOR.. >c

SO IN SUMMARY, I HAVE NO ZEI OR THAN, OR NO DADDY FOR MY KIDS AND I NEED SOMEONE TO HELP ME. GENDER IS NOT AN ISSUE. I GO EITHER WAY. :D

*WANDERS IN ON ALL FOURS, CARRYING A LARGE, DEAD BIRD IN HIS MOUTH*

MRF RRRMMMMGG MMMPH GGGRPH

*STARTS RIPPING IT APART HAPPILY*

*COUGH**HACK**KACK* UGH. I'BE REABBY SICK. I GOT A COUGH, *ACHOO* A BEAKY DOSE, AND BY STOBACH FEELS ITCHY AND THERE'S RED SPOTS ON BY ARMS.

OK, SO. I'VE HAD IT WITH ALL YOUR PATHETIC ATTEMPTS TO RESCUE ME.
(ESPECIALLY YOURS, AZULON. WTF, YOU KNOW SHIRSHU'S CAN'T SNIFF OUT SPIRITS. REALLY.)

I DECIDED TO ABANDON THE CREEPY BLUE MAN AFTER HE STARTED WAVING HIS SWORD-LIKE OBJECT AT ME.

IT TOOK AWHILE, BUT I AIN'T BLUE ANYMORE! I THINK I'M BACK IN THE REGULAR OLD SPIRIT WORLD. AZULON, YOU BETTER COME GET ME, AND YOU BETTER BE ON TIME, OR ELSE SKULLS WILL BE CRACKED.



... HOW INTERESTING, IT SEEMS I LOST WEIGHT AFTER ALL THIS 8D

OH WAIT, WASN'T I... I'M PRETTY SURE THE ANATOMY OF HEAVILY-PREGNANT WOMEN SHOULD STILL APPLY TO SPIRITS, SHOULD IT NOT? D:


_{MY STEAMBABIES! DDDDD:}

SO, MY UNDEAD PREGNANT GRANDMOTHER'S SPIRIT IS STILL LOST, TOPH HAS BEEN DOING SOME REALLY UNSETTLING THINGS WITH FISH JELLO SOUP, AND I KEEP HAVING THIS HORRIBLE RECURRING DREAM.

STUPID SHIRSHU. STUPID PARALYZING TONGUE. STUPID PARALYSIS, WHICH HAS YET TO FULLY WEAR OFF. >:(


I'M COMING FOR YOU, KANNA!

WHY IS IT THAT WHEN I GO TAKE A NAP, I WAKE UP SOMEWHERE ELSE? LAST TIME IT WAS THE PANDA... THING. AND NOW, I'VE NO IDEA WHERE I AM.

FOR SOME REASON, I'VE TURNED ALL BLUE. FORTUNATELY, I MET A VERY NICE MAN WHO'S HELPED ME AROUND SOME. QUITE THE GENTLEMAN, THIS GUY. AND ALSO QUITE BLUE.



I WAS JUST TELLING HIM HOW MIFFED I AM THAT IT'S BEEN DAYS AND NO ONE'S COME RESCUED ME YET. SRSLY. WHAT GOOD ARE TWO HUSBANDS AND GRANDCHILDREN WHO SAVE THE WORLD IF NONE OF THEM COME LOOKING FOR YOU?

ALSO. I THINK I LEFT MY FISH JELLO SOUP BOILING ON THE STOVE.

FOLLOW THAT GIANT SPIRIT STORK! AND I WANT NO SNEAKY BRINGING BACK SOMEONE ELSE'S UNDEAD HEAVILY-PREGNANT SPIRIT GRANDMOTHER INSTEAD, BECAUSE NO POINTS WILL BE REWARDED. WE NEED TO GET GRAN-GRAN BACK!

ETA: I AM BEGINNING TO THINK THAT ROCKTOBER'S TRADITIONAL SEASONAL EVENT, IN ADDITION TO THAT WHOLE GIVING BIRTH THING, IS SEARCHING FOR MISSING PERSONS.

SO: THE MISSING THUS FAR:
- AANG (GLOWING IN THE DARK, SOMEWHERE)
- GRAN-GRAN (OFF WITH A GIANT STORK, AND ALSO GLOWING IN THE DARK)
- CHONG (ON AN ISLAND/TURTLE, BUT PROBABLY NOT GLOWING IN THE DARK)
- HAWKY (???)
- PROBABLY OTHER PEOPLE THAT I'M FORGETTING, AS WELL AS PEOPLE WHO LEFT TO GO BUY GROCERIES AND HAVE YET TO RETURN (ALL BETS ARE OFF)

THEY MAY BE IN THIS FORM BY THE TIME WE FIND THEM. IF SO, DO NOT CRACK THOSE EGGS OPEN, EVEN IF YOU'RE DYING AND THE ONLY CURE THAT WILL SAVE YOU IS AN OMELET.