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[24 May 2008|04:25pm] |
hi girls,
here is my youtube video, saying about my hospital stay, i thought soem of you might want to see it, if you have any questons at all
myaim is iondongal, please feel free.
and incase your wondering, im still strugiling.
<3
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XW07JlkLVGw
ps please comment on the page! feedback would be goo
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| Friends only. |
[08 Dec 2007|10:47pm] |
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Ok, so from now on if anyone wants to read my journal, they have to be my friends... Feel free to add me if interested.
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| New here. |
[20 Aug 2007|06:35pm] |
So here is something about me:
height: 5"4 and a half / 164cm
HW: 165lbs / 75kg
CW: 154lbs :( / 70kg :(
LW: 132lbs / 60kg
GW1: 121lbs / 55kg
GW2: 99lbs / 45kg if 121lbs / 55kg doesn´t look good enough.
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[13 Aug 2007|06:49pm] |
i wanna TRY and do a fast. starting tomorrow. anyone wanna join? it always helps when people join my fasts with me because it keeps me motivated. we can be each other's support system. THINK ABOUT IT!
fast ends thursday
rules
-drink water
-drink one diet soda or energy
-no eating
-exercise everyday!
let me know if you wanna join.
comment on here or my regular journal.
peace & love & skinny.
<3 Victoria
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[10 Aug 2007|12:55am] |
Has anyone in taken hydroxycut?? and how did it work for you? i did and it didnt really do much for me i didnt like it at all
what are some of the best diet pills you have taken?
and what are there side effects?
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| ONE OF MY POEMS |
[06 Aug 2007|02:12am] |
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mood |
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awake |
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music |
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linger "the cranberries" |
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"Escaping" I've learned how to cope, with my inner depression. I appear unaffected, throughout it's progression. On the outside I'm happy, it's oblivious to my friends. I put on a fake act, there's no telling when it ends. My inside is tortured, beat down, and left crying. Curled up in emotion, my pain is not dying. Life hasn't been easy, I've had my share of heartache. I keep it bottled inside, afraid someday it might break. My method of coping, is neither simple nor easy. I hide all my feelings, no matter how measly. Though I'm lost in the fake world, that I am creating. I do it for protection, my means of escaping.
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[02 Aug 2007|03:20pm] |
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mood |
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 blank |
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music |
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that i would be good (alanis) |
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so today ...
Mcdonalds breaksaft a sausage egg mcmuffin sandwich with two hashbrowns some cinnimon roll thing biscuts and gravey and a lrg sprit...
((purge))
for lunch i had a whole frozen cheese pizza with two glasses of milk
((purged))
i got a nose bleed after this last purge..and it still hasnt gone away..
does anyone else get them alot??
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[13 Apr 2007|06:42pm] |
hey girls im new
im chloe
5'5
prob like 120 considering today i ate out my heart problike 5000 caloreis no joke
thennn threw up everyything
ive been bulimic for about a year now
started off with ana
just a queston even when u guys throw up do you still fill full and fat?
and do u get intergestion /headaches /dizzyness (SORRY IM A AWFUL SPELLER!!!) well i hope you can welcome me in this community
xxx CHLOE
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| just told em |
[04 Mar 2007|12:13am] |
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mood |
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 ZzzZZzzz |
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I have just told my mom that I am bulimic. She was trying not to freak out but I know that she really was deep down inside. I just hope that I don't get shipped to some mental hospital. I am not mental at all. I am just obsessed with food and I need control. I dont really find that muchwrong with it. I just hate holding this feeling in. I hate holding in all of my emotions. I'm tired so I think i'm going to go to bed.....
tomorrow is going to suck....i just know it.
Depressed little ol me,
Nick
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| ? |
[02 Mar 2007|09:22pm] |
i can't stop thinking about food. it started 5 months ago when i was feeling really 'down' (i won't say depressed) and i stopped eating for a couple days. i guess i have forgotten how to eat normally after months of restricting myself.
now i throw up everytime after i eat because my stomach feels all full and heavy. my throat is really sore from this. my sister and mom are out so i am eating alot right now. i feel disgusting.
how do i stop? i'm really ashamed and i think my family is starting to notice how much i go back and forth between my bedroom and the kitchen.
tell me to go away if i'm not in the right place. i know i have not been suffering like this for years or been diagnosed or anything. i just have no idea what to do.
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[04 Feb 2007|09:40pm] |
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mood |
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 bored |
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music |
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Menomena |
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Hey, so i just joined, and miss ![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) ___gymnast...stick this code into your profile under the banner and it'll look much nicer:
<*textarea><*a href="http://community.livejournal.com/bulimics/profile"><*img src="http://i6.tinypic.com/1z6w2yo.png" border="0"><*/a><*/textarea>
remove the *'s
p.s. dude, i didn't know you had a community or i would have joined sooner
edit
Ooops ok, so that was really ugly and didn't work, but i think i've fixed it...
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[31 Jan 2007|05:07pm] |
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Ugh, I never want to eat again. That was the biggest binge that I've had in almost a year. I hurt everywhere. It's going to make me puke..involuntarily :P. Have any of you ever puked just from eating too much food? I haven't had a full puke, but I've had some come up.
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[03 Dec 2006|05:57pm] |
Hi, I've never posted here before but been around LJ a lot.
This is mostly X-posted - sorry, I'm just so in need of some support right now and don't know where to
turn, really. I don't even know if this is the right place to post this, right now I just feel desolate and frightened.
This last week has officially been one of the worst weeks of at least the past year for me. Empty and somewhat numb. Sometimes I don't know what's wrong with me. I seems like every time I try and pick myself up, someting comes along to bash me back down again. I'm left now with no work (due to a bunch of disinterested, screwed up w****rs) and an aimless deppression ahead.
I've proved to myself I can do it - I can have a life - I'm intelligent enough, and all i'm doing is wasting my life with depression and EDs. Meds, so far have been hopless. I think 5 HTP and vitamins have literally saved my life these past few months.
The worst parts are those beautiful glimmers of hope and beauty that I get -then they go away. I do have passions, I REALLY do - and then the black hole opens up again and it's all gone - and hello EDs. I apologise if this community does not want to hear about eating disorders and I will not mention those particular problems in the furure if this is the case.
I've been stashing a shit-load of valium upstairs- don't know why. I used to be an optimist. Now I'm feeling my hope fade. It comes and goes. I'll fight it.
Certain people have hurt me and screwed my life over so much. no point going into details. I want to be angry. Instead I'm just sad. I WANT a life. i WANT to get better and I now feel so let down that all this is just going to make it all so much harder. Oh and my poor cat was diagnosed with diabetes yesterday.
I only end up taking out anger on myself. I'd also love some new friends with similar interests, so please feel free to check out my personal LJ stuff. Thanks for hearing me.
(Don't bother going here unless you are into totally sad songs and self-pitying music. It just sums up how I feel).
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V2y2JAl_CCE)
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[25 Nov 2006|03:13am] |
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I love it when I'm in control of my bulimia. When I restrict, and purge more than I eat. It distracts me from my social anxiety, and makes me feel good. Ugh, sorry. I just have an eating disorder, and body dysmorphic disorder (mostly about my face). When I'm consumed by the latter, I focus on the former.
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| . |
[15 Nov 2006|01:27am] |
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mood |
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 anxious |
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hi there!
i'm new, obviously. please feel free to show me around and tell me rules, etc.
i am a not-so-recent bulimic, but i'm not a long-timer either. i've been throwing up for about 2 months now, but i throw up a LOT and i can't stop. i WAS anorexic and still am but every time i eat i throw it up.
with me so far?
good.
so, i've been throwing up blood for a time now, and i want to know; does this mean i have an ulcer? also, i throw up little red pieces of soft stuff, i think it's flesh. it's like a red apple core only fleshy and soft. i actually took it out of the bowl and touched it. i half-screamed and dropped it back in.
just a question - does this stuff happen to you guys, and how much do you eat before you binge/how many times do you binge a day? also, what are some tips to throw up all of it in one time and not just little chunks over and over?
thanks.
-m-
oh and by the way:
age: 14
height: 5'5''
current weight: 125 lbs
lowest weight: 120 lbs
heighest weight: 140 lbs
goal weight: 100 lbs
diagnosed: nope. it's a secret.
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| recovery |
[08 Nov 2006|01:51am] |
so i am trying to recover, or at least try to start recovering until i can afford to see a psych.
so for those of you who have recovered, or made progress in recovery, what are some tips/pointers you can give me that have helped you? i don't even remember what it's like to eat "normally" since i've been bulimic for about 7 years.
what do you do to distract yourself from binging?
what can you do to aid digestion, and ease the discomfort of keeping food in your stomach?
what are some good things to eat that don't feel to heavy?
any other tips would be appreciated as well.
thanks
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| does anyone feel this way? |
[02 Nov 2006|04:40pm] |
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i know i haven't posed in forever but i wanted to know if anyone ever feels like i do. if i eat something and then throw it up i feel beautiful. i mean i might be sick to my stomic but i still feel beautiful well not totally but more than i usually do. the thing is when i don't eat at i feel even more beautiful. i have not eaten in about 38 or 40 hours but i have just been drinking water and diet pop which has no calories. i know it is sick and twisted to feel beautiful when i'm starting to feel woosy but i do. does anyone else ever feel like this?
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| halloween |
[01 Nov 2006|04:33am] |
purging halloween candy = painful.
...not to mention the fucking awful bitter taste of regurgitated cheap chocolate
...Every time I purge, I send up several silent prayers (to God??) as I bend down over the toilet.
1. Please don't let the toilet back up. It's 3 am and every one is asleep. How the HELL am I going to explain this if the fucking toilet backs up??
2. Please don't let me have a heart attack. I feel my heart jolt and lurch and I wonder how long I can keep up these violent bulimic episodes before I actually fucking die.
3. Please don't let my teeth rot and fall out.
4. Please let me get all of this up. Please don't let me gain weight from this binge.
...Please, please, please. If I can just get through this one last purge without any of these things happening ... then I swear I'll never do it again.
And I genuinely believe myself every single time when I am pleading so desperately with God or whoever. And yet, a few hours later ... I'm right back there. Kneeling in front of the toilet with a porcelain bowl of rancid vomit staring right back up at me.
I want to be done with bulimia.
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