Buggre Alle This - The Good Omens RPG

buggreallethis @ 2004-04-06T00:30:00

2004-04-06T07:38:03Z

Well I've been right busy with all this terrorism nonsense.

I miss the old days. Give me my sword and my horse and some heads to smash and I was a happy lass.

But nooooo, they have to go all technological and 'strategy'.

Strategy used to be making sure it wasn't too foggy before you set off in the morning. The height of sophistication and technology was when they invented the chariot.

I think my time peaked somewhere in the Middle Ages.

Though I must admit that when I *ahem* acquired my steel horse I was pleased as punch. A vast improvement over the four legs and smells of the old model.

Cor.

2004-03-30T10:12:57Z

I fink that was the longest I've ever spent in detention. All that, jus' for that fing I did with the headmasters bisickle an' the prawns.

Where did ev'ryone go?

buggreallethis @ 2003-12-18T18:56:00

2003-12-18T23:58:36Z

Well.
It's nice to know all the effort I put into this year's round of influenza is paying off, at least.

right; this is getting old.

2003-09-30T00:57:24Z

The silence, I mean. Everyone's given up again, I take it? (Except for Famine, who hasn't shown up since February or so. Where'd he get to, anyway?)
I've not had much of value to report myself, but things are starting to look bad again. So, I may as well make the most of this thing, yes?

buggreallethis @ 2003-08-13T22:53:00

2003-08-14T02:04:29Z

Well, I'm not certain I'd call the leave of absence productive as such. Not in the manner I intended, anyway.
I have, however, relocated my base of operations. I'd considered doing this in the past, but the idea was never really appealing until now. I suppose it's something to do with spending the better part of the last century (not to mention the last two months) Below; one just has to get out sometime. And I suppose if the people in charge of such things decide Cincinnati needs a subway system after all, I'll just have to relocate.
(Those of you in the area need not worry about a sudden increase in disease; after all, if something got out without my knowing I'd never find out what caused which brand of misery. They all have their subtleties, you know. Besides, it's a part of the tunnels that doesn't even get the minimal action of being used as storage space.)
And I was reminded early into this relocation business of a project I started up in Africa, but neglected after HIV came into its own. It's somewhat related to the infamous Ebola virus, in that it kills its host within 24 hours. However, the infected individual is stricken with the desire to get as far away from their present location as they can, so this one fares a bit better on the survival front. Will be looking into that one again, no doubt.
Really, couldn't even a minor plague spring up somewhere? I could do with a bit of excitement. (That isn't trying to pull out of a slump.)

buggreallethis @ 2002-08-06T22:19:00

2003-08-07T05:23:10Z

Goodness.

You see, Crowley -- he doesn't know his own strength sometimes -- did something to my computer and caused it to. Er, well -- it sort of melted. I'm not entirely certain what he did however I do know that he was playing some sort of game that did something it should not have done, and Crowley became really rather agitated and -- oh, well the fact of the matter is that I have a new one now. It's very nice. And now I can write in this journal again, though I'm not sure what I should be talking about in it.

Well, actually, I really shouldn't be nattering on here as I've just recieved a visitor who looks rather worse for wear, the poor dear. And he's out there with Crowley and that is of course a very bad idea, so I'd best go and see to things. I believe a nice cup of tea - or something stronger - might be in order.

An angel's work is never done.

buggreallethis @ 2003-07-11T22:25:00

2003-07-12T02:25:34Z

I think I've found my bearings now (the emphasis in that sentence would, of course, be on 'think'). Of course, any worthwhile diseases I had in circulation have died out, or at least been brought under control. ::sigh:: As such, will be taking a short leave of absence effective the 20th, as there are some things I've got to take care of here, but I've got to get something marketable and FAST.
(Oh, Crowley? I know you've got a major victory at this point, but I think a bit more subtlety than this is advisable...)

buggreallethis @ 2003-07-06T12:54:00

2003-07-06T19:55:33Z

Ah, the quiet satisfaction of a bad job well done.

Yes, I realise I've been remiss (thank you Aziraphale) in posting to this journal, but a demon's work is never done, you know.

They thought I couldn't top my crowning achievement, the M25.

But I have.

The new congestion charge I quietly suggested to the Mayor of London seems to be exceeding beyond my wildest expectations.

Ken's decided to expand it. Soon, anyone who wants to travel within the M25 will have to pay five quid a day. The kerfluffle of course is much bigger than just the money. The unions have got involved now. Bad feelings, from the ordinary bloke on the street right on up to the government.

Far be it from me to blow my own horn (shut up, angel, I'm actually quite modest), but I do think I sense another commendation.

Ah, it warms my heart.

Drinks are on me, angel.

-Crowley

Ugh.

2003-07-03T02:58:53Z

Just when I thought I'd found my bearings a certain physiological function I have previously not had to deal with reared its metaphorical head. Surely there's some way to stop this...
I'm afraid the events of the past few weeks have cost me this monkeypox business I had going in southwest Ohio, not to mention SARS. Bloody hell.
On the other hand, passed through the Congo the weekend before last. Quite the self-perpetuating setup, that area.

AZIRAPHALE?

2003-06-26T20:10:39Z

I STILL DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THE DEATH OF A CHILD SHOULD BE SEEN AS A GREATER TRAGEDY THAN THAT OF AN ADULT. A LIFETIME IS A LIFETIME. IS THIS SO HARD TO UNDERSTAND?

AZIRAPHALE, RECENT EVENTS IN SCOTLAND HAVE RESULTED IN A NUMBER OF AGGRIEVED AND UNHAPPY SOULS. NOT ALL THESE SOULS REMAIN ATTACHED TO THEIR PREVIOUS HOSTS, AND HAVE BEEN THREATENING TO FOLLOW ME AROUND UNTIL I REMEDY THE SITUATION.

I SHOULD BE MOST GRATEFUL IF YOU WOULD EXPLAIN THE SITUATION TO THEM. YOU HAVE A TALENT FOR SOOTHING TORMENTED SOULS THAT I WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND. IT MAY PROVE USEFUL IF THE DEMON ACCOMPANIES YOU.

THESE JOURNALS ARE PROVING TO BE USEFUL. MY CONGRATULATIONS, METATRON.

HUMANS NEVER CEASE TO BEMUSE ME

2003-06-24T21:21:55Z

I HAVE NO WORDS TO EXPLAIN MY CONFUSION. ARE THESE THINGS ACCURATE? I HAVE CROSS CHECKED A COUPLE WITH MY RECORDS AND THEY CERTAINLY CORRELATE TO WITHIN A FEW MONTHS. HOW DO HUMANS CALCULATE THIS WITHOUT ACCESS TO ME RESOURCES?

CROWLEY? KINDLY KEEP YOUR TEETH TO YOURSELF. MASTER YOUNG? IT MAY BE BEST TO IGNORE THIS.

buggreallethis @ 2003-06-19T19:02:00

2003-06-20T02:02:53Z

Summer!!1

Were playing outside instead of on the computer. maybe after we read this new book were all buyin we'll get ideas for new games to play. I hope its exciting. and that the girls play bigger parts. and beat up a lot of villians.

that would be tops.

I think we should all get special tattoos that say "were the them, and you aren't!" maybe later, after we go swimming.

I AM IN NEED OF SOME ADVICE.

2003-06-17T23:53:19Z

THE WEDDING TO WHICH I HAVE BEEN INVITED IS IN SIXTEEN DAYS TIME.

I DO NOT KNOW WHAT TO DO. I RARELY HAVE ANY BUSINESS IN CHURCHES, MY BUSINESS GENERALLY BEING CONCLUDED WELL BEFORE THAT STAGE IN THE PROCEEDINGS. SHOULD I BE AWARE OF ANY CUSTOMS OR PROCEDURES?

THE INVITATION WAS ADDRESSED TO "MISTER PRESLEY PLUS GUEST". IS THIS USUAL? ARE THERE ANY COMMON CUSTOMS COVERING THIS? I DO NOT WISH TO CAUSE OFFENCE.

buggreallethis @ 2003-06-16T13:14:00

2003-06-16T20:18:05Z

Is this working? Can you see this?

I am terribly sorry that I've been so remiss in these updates. The device - COMPUTER SAYS OH NO WHY ARE THE LETTERS SO BIG wait, that's better. Thank you Crowley. Anyway, the computer did this strange thing where the screen turned blue and no matter what buttons I pressed, nothing seemed to fix it. Most disquieting.

So, I replaced the computer. It's taking a bit of getting used to but I think I'm getting along well enough. The new machine is very lovely, looks a bit like a flowerpot. Crowley likes the name: Apple. This does not surprise me, though I suppose I can see the irony in the situation.

I have been a bit busy as well. There was that bit of disturbance going on in the Middle East that needed sorting out, and goodness me did the dodgy business with SARS take a long time to settle down. I've certainly got my work cut out for me!

Now then, I've got to be off. Crowley is looking for lunch, and a hungry demon is - well, do any of you recall the Hundred Years War? Yes, well. Best be off to feed him and prevent another catasrophe.

Er, Metatron? Expect a report on your desk (have you got a desk? I've never seen your office, actually) tomorrow morning.

buggreallethis @ 2003-06-16T19:24:00

2003-06-16T18:26:58Z

METATRON, YOU ASKED WHAT WE WERE ALL UP TO HERE. I HAVE BEEN - OCCUPIED - WITH otherwhiterider'S RECENT ACCIDENT, NOT TO MENTION TIDYING IN PREPARATION FOR MS. DEVICE'S VISIT. VINEGAR MAKES AN EXCELLENT WINDOW CLEANING SOLUTION, I HAVE FOUND. UNFORTUNATELY, THE ODOUR IRRITATES LILY'S NASAL PASSAGES, AND SHE RETALIATED BY SNEEZING, LOUDLY, REPEATEDLY AND STICKILY ON MY CLEAN LAUNDRY, NOT TO MENTION DECAPITATING A GNOME FROM THE GARDEN. I AM SERIOUSLY CONSIDERING TAKING HER WITH ME ON MY ROUNDS IN ORDER THAT SHE MAY AGE TO A POINT WHERE WANTON DESTRUCTION IS NOT AN INTEGRAL PART OF HER PERSONALITY.

CROWLEY, I THINK THIS WOULD BE ANOTHER OF YOUR RECORDINGS?

buggreallethis @ 2003-06-15T21:35:00

2003-06-16T04:46:37Z

This is what I have to work with...I fear for my job.

*sips her strawberry daquiri*

Oh! And *raises glass to otherwhiterider* Welcome to the club, love. *wink*

buggreallethis @ 2003-06-15T19:50:00

2003-06-15T23:50:32Z

I see my associate filled you all in on what happened - I've got to say this is a rather fast return to things, the way they put you through the wringer in that department.
But they could have at least given me the courtesy of remembering the only bodies they had left were female, couldn't they? (Well, they probably couldn't as that wouldn't frustrate people enough...)
Carmine, Miss Device, I daresay you've got more... experince with this sort of thing than I do. Any advice you could offer would be appreciated, as I've got to get through a few centuries at least with this...

...Er.

2003-06-09T03:03:27Z

This isn't - wossname, it was on the tip of my tongue a minute ago, oh sod it - otherwhiterider. Wouldn't call myself a friend either, seeing as if he has the knack I suspect he saves it for others. I'm an associate, more like.
Anyway. He, um, managed to get himself electrocuted early last week. Pretty bad lighting storm, I don't suppose anyone ever told him you're meant to stay off the computer during those things. I'd tell you he was in the middle of something for... well, for this setup, but odds are he was coding another computer virus. (Honestly, I don't know what he sees in the things...)
Knowing him he'll be back by the end of this week. Still don't know how he does that, and I rather dount I want to. Just I found the specs for this place with some of his stuff and thought maybe you needed to know...

It is quite difficult to type with paws.

2003-06-07T07:03:04Z

But Dog perserveres. Just learned that word from Anathema. The Master visited and Dog went along and ate caterpillars.

Ahem.

2003-06-07T03:38:56Z

And lo, there appeared a column a flame, and within that column could be discerned the form of an angel; the angel spoke with a Voice deep as rivers and old as mountains, and said unto thee:

What are all of you doing down there???

It has come to our attention that these less-than-celestial activity logs have been sorely neglected of late, most particularly by a certain field agent with whom, we feel, we have been more than merciful in our dealings. Despite the obvious proof that this system is not functioning as intended, we have been instructed to, in layman's terms, 'give it another go.'

Thus we expect to hear from certain angels and assorted company very soon. That is not a request.

FIN

They're already calling it an epidemic. How nice!

2003-05-24T00:37:20Z

Not to mention I dropped by Toronto earlier this week; things are picking up there again. (Seems the trade-off, however, is things dropping off in Hong Kong. Oh, I'll think of something. Taiwan looks promising these days...)
Found an amusing hypothesis as to how SARS wound up here in the first place. I mean, really - space? What are these people think--
Wait. It could work. I'd need a bit of help, obviously, but if we plan it right it could work.
I'll have to think this one over.

buggreallethis @ 2003-05-22T20:47:00

2003-05-22T18:44:34Z

MS DEVICE?

I SHOULD BE GRATEFUL IF YOU COULD SPARE AN AFTERNOON OF YOUR TIME - REST ASSURED, THIS WILL NOT COME OUT OF YOUR ALLOTTED SPAN, NOR WILL IT ENDANGER THE LIFE OF YOUR CHILD - TO VISIT.

I HAVE SOME IMPORTANT INFORMATION THAT I WOULD PREFER TO PASS ON IN PERSON BEFORE MAKING IT MORE WIDELY KNOWN.

buggreallethis @ 2003-05-20T17:41:00

2003-05-20T23:42:12Z

so since Greasy Johnson has returned home from hospital, my mother says its all right for me to come back onto the computer. And she still hasnt bought any shooting games because shes afraid they might influenza me.

he ran into my fist, thats all it really was. Not my fault his nose got broken, he shouldnt have run into my fist. And he should be more careful where he runs, because he ran his stomach into my knee. and he shouldn't put his hands where i can bite them, so really it was all his own fault.

besides, cornering me in the schoolyard when Adam and Brian and Wensleydale aren't around and trying to kiss me is so stupid and gross! if he ever tries it again then he really really better watch where he runs, because if hes not careful both of his knees will be broken and it will still be his own fault. And his jaw too. And my mother taught me where to kick my leg so if he runs into it he'll CRY.

Hes so stupid! Boys are so stupid!

buggreallethis @ 2003-05-19T22:41:00

2003-05-20T05:46:39Z

Yes, the angel has shamed me into posting even though I have much better things to do... there's this seminary student who's having doubts, I hear, and who better to foster them... he had some very strange dreams the other night, Aziraphale, why don't you ask him about those? Then come ask me, I can explain it.

The wedding was interesting. The angel dragged me, apparently he knew one of the blokes. Silly tradition, weddings, really. Though they do a lot of good for my side.

I must set the record straight. As it were. I did not get us lost. The signposts were misplaced, bloody stupid road works department. I almost missed the turning to that Inn you spotted.

What was the name of it again? And why do they never have more than one room available? It's a plot.

Right. So we're back, and all that.

-Crowley

I AM CONFUSED

2003-05-19T21:28:18Z

ineffable_books RECENTLY ATTENDED SOME STILLBIRTHS ON MY BEHALF, ON ACCOUNT OF THE EMOTIONAL CONSIDERATIONS.

I DO NOT UNDERSTAND THIS. I SHOULD HAVE EXPECTED THE DEATH OF A BABY TO BE LESS TRAUMATIC THAT THE DEATH OF, FOR EXAMPLE, A GRANDPARENT. AFTER ALL, A BABY HAS NO PERSONALITY AND ITS PARENTS DO NOT HAVE TIME TO BECOME ATTACHED TO IT. IT IS MERELY A SMALL, UNTHINKING CREATURE THAT CANNOT CONVERSE OR TAKE PART IN SOCIAL OCCASIONS. WHY, THEN, DO PEOPLE BECOME SO EMOTIONAL OVER THE DEATH OF A CHILD?

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