Brothers and Their Lovers

CM Drabble #3: Jealousy

2008-01-26T19:45:07Z

Fandom: Criminal Minds
Author: Eby
Rating: FRM
Pairing: Morgan/Hotch
Content Warning: ANGST.
Spoilers: None that I know of
Summary: Harsh words have consequences
Disclaimer: They don't belong to me. If they did, this pairing would SO be canon now! Hah.

I feel like I'm in a nightmare that I can't wake from. My vocabulary over the past few days has expanded to include words like "subdural hematoma", "intercranial pressure" among others I'd rather not dwell on.

All because of some angry words said in haste. Words which sent him out the door, into his car, into the path of a teen driving under the influence of… something. And now I might not ever get the chance to have my apology heard.

Why did I have to be so possessive? My God, I know Derek wouldn't cheat on me. And yet, when I saw his old friend, how intimate they seemed… I jumped to conclusions. I hadn't been this jealous with Haley.

Was it a matter of trust? Or was it just that I couldn't believe that something this good could last?

It didn't matter. Only Derek mattered.

Please… wake up.

Thanks for reading!

CM Drabble #2: Morgan

2008-01-26T19:38:05Z

Fandom: Criminal Minds
Author: Eby
Rating: FRM
Pairing: Morgan/Hotch
Content Warning: ANGST.
Spoilers: General Season 3 for Hotch's divorce
Summary: Morgan's intuition helps...
Disclaimer: They don't belong to me. If they did, this pairing would SO be canon now! Hah.

Haley told me the paperwork was coming. Yeah, I know… weird to be friendly with the ex, isn't it? But she loves Aaron, and so do I, so it's all good.

I knew exactly when he opened it. Most folks think Hotch is a stone-face. And yeah, okay… he can be. But when you know someone… I mean *really* know them, you learn to read them. I learned to read Hotch long before we were lovers.

The divorce was necessary. And they had managed to keep it respectful, almost friendly. But even though Aaron had started a new life with me, a part of him would always mourn the dream life left behind. For the young son inevitably caught in the middle.

And so I go to him. A knock on the door that I don't wait to be acknowledged.

His smile when he sees me tells me everything.

Thanks for reading!

CM Drabble #1: Hotch

2008-01-26T19:31:18Z

Fandom: Criminal Minds
Author: Eby
Rating: FRM
Pairing: Morgan/Hotch
Content Warning: ANGST.
Spoilers: General Season 3 for Hotch's divorce
Summary: Hotch gets mail. Or is that male? 
Disclaimer: They don't belong to me. If they did, this pairing would SO be canon now! Hah.

I study the envelope warily, like it's a snake. Ridiculous, I know. I'm a trained FBI agent but I can't open one piece of mail?

With a sigh, I slide my finger under the flap and pull it open. The contents are no mystery; I've been waiting for this for six months. Still the finality of it hits hard. The end of a life I had planned for. Longed for, even.

Once I'd scanned it, I folded it back up and slid it into my desk drawer. Out of sight, out of mind. Not that it worked.

A knock on my door distracted me. Morgan. How does he know I need him? I swear the man is psychic. His presence alone puts me in a better frame of mind.

"Hey, you okay?" he softly asks, closing the door behind him.

"I am now," and I allow the smallest of smiles.

Thanks for reading!

Oh my!

2007-11-05T04:07:36Z

Stacy, if you're still around, Eby and I have discovered our Morgan/Hotch love. Damn! What those guys say with their eyes.

BTL Site

2007-06-11T09:25:35Z

... has been updated. All of the stories that have been posted at this comm have either been uploaded to the site or have links to where they can be found.

Take care all.

FIC: Interlude FRAO Numb3rs David/Don

2007-06-10T02:45:50Z

Title: Interlude
Author: jhourdhaun
Fandom: Numb3rs
Characters: David/Don
Rating: FRAO, NC-17
Summary: Why you should always answer your phone
Warning: Humour

Interlude David/Don

"Shit!"

"Fuck!"

"Oh yeah. Just like that." David Sinclair encouraged as his lover not only increased his pace, but also adjusted the depth of his stroke."

So, you like that, huh? Mr. Tough FBI Guy Who Brings Crazies to Their Knees likes to feel it." An evil smile crossed Don Eppes' sweat-covered face. "So, if I change things up a little bit…" With little effort, he changed the angle of his thrusts yet again and slammed in deep and hard, eliciting a raw cry from David, "you'll probably see stars."

At this point, David was non-verbal and Don knew they were both so very close.

It felt good after what seemed like forever. Almost two months on a grueling case had taken its toll on their sex lives. Hasty hand jobs snatched in seldom-used restrooms and the rare blow jobs during the few hours they found themselves alone were nothing compared to the generated from honest-to-god, headboard-banging, scream-inducing FUCKING.

Although they tried their best not to let their lack of sexual satisfaction interfere with their work, it was obvious they hadn't succeeded. Megan practically pushed them out of the building when they were given the green light to go. Short of handing them condoms, it was pretty clear that their friend wanted them to spend the next four days they'd been granted fucking the dark mood out of each other.

And they were well on their way to doing just that. Two boxes of condoms and four bottles of lube later, they were still at it. At the rate they were going, both of them would need the final day of their mini-vacation just to recuperate so they could walk into the FBI field office without any telling limps. Because if they showed up like that, there would be no way in Hell that Megan would ever let them forget it.

The overwhelming need to slam into David brought Don back to the present. Satisfying the need caused another sharp cry from the younger man.

Just as the pace settled into the rhythm necessary for completion, a cell phone started to ring. "What the fuck?"

David tightened his grip on his lover, shaking his head almost begging him not to stop. "It's mine again… Just ignore it… If it were i-important, they would call you." As if it heard him, the phone stopped. "See."

"Yeah," Don agreed as he leaned over and bit a dark nipple.

"Shit!" David screamed as he nearly leapt off the bed.

"Fuck!" Yelled Don as he - impossibly - sank deeper inside his lover thanks to the younger man's movements. He could feel himself soaring and he wanted David to be there with him, so he ramped it up even more - feat that would have probably killed a man who was at a lesser peak of fitness. Seemed that all of that FBI training really paid off.

Judging by the return of the little noises David made when he was close, his lover regained what was lost thanks to the inconsiderate caller. That meant that both men could lose themselves in what was coming next without worries of leaving the other behind.

Just as that fully registered in Don's mind, the phone went off again instantly diverting both men's impending release.

"Shit!"

"Fuck!

"I swear as soon as I find out who that asshole is, it's gonna take a team of surgeons years to extract that phone from where I'm gonna ram it," Don threatened as he relaxed his pose.
David's muttered oath seemed to agree. He moaned his own protest at the diminished activity and he tried wiggling his hips as an enticement to continue.

He soon found out his effort was futile. The mood seemed to die with each subsequent ring and even Don's grinding wasn't making the same impact. "It better damn well be life or death or else I'm going to make it that way!" He snatched up the phone, nearly dislodging Don and punched the "TALK" button, "Sinclair!"

There was silence for several seconds before Colby's gruff voice finally filtered through the phone. "David?! Finally! Whatever's going down, don't worry – help's on the way. If you're somewhere safe, stay there."

"Granger? What the he…!"

Before he could finish, his front door burst open and several armed men rushed inside David's apartment, yelling "Police!", "FBI!" and other threats.

"Shit!"

"Fuck!"

"Granger! I am gonna kill you!"

Zines and other stuff

2007-05-29T16:12:38Z

Hello all!

Hope you're well. Just returned from Media West and it was wonderful. It was my first time there and I had a blast.

But that's not why I'm writing. First thing, I'm transitioning to a new job, so I'm going to have about a week off. During that week, my plans are to bring the BTL site up-to-date - which means coding (or linking) the stories here under the proper shows and pairings over there. I've found out there is some buzz about the BTLs (lj and site) and it will be good to build on that and hopefully get some more folks (and stories) here.

The second thing (and shame on me!) has to do with zines. Eby and I both contributed to Neon Rainbow Press' third installment of the Dead Zone zine, Physical Therapy, and it can be purchased here. I was also talked into compiling a good number of my stories and drabbles into a digest zine for Agent With Style Press. It's entitled "Consonance, Dissonance and Adaptation" and can be found under the listing for CSI: Las Vegas.

Take care all,
kaelleigh

Fic: The Young and the Reckless CM Derek/Spencer FRM very mild kink

2007-04-27T03:15:14Z

Can't seem to get the cut technique to work no matter what I do, so here is the link to my lj. Sorry...

http://buffyangel68.livejournal.com/1780.html#cutid1

Criminal Minds fic: Rub a dub dub; H/R/M; FRAO/NC-17

2007-03-25T13:54:01Z

Title: Rub a dub dub
Authors: nebula99 and Stacy L.A. Stronach slash_girl
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Pairing: Hotch/Reid/Morgan
Rating: NC-17/FRAO
Prompt: 014 Pornstars (for wtf27)
Word count: 10,027

Warnings: threesomes, voyeurism, crack!fic (but this is wtf27), and we mean it when we say crack!fic. You were warned!

Authors' notes: This started, as I'm sure many co-written fics do, in IM. It grew from there. We are a dangerous combination….

Story is linked on my LJ

Fic Pink and Green Bathrobes C.Minds r/m/garcia G Momma!

2007-03-12T20:19:45Z

title: Pink and Green Bathrobes
Author: Allie Gator-Tamy
series: Criminal minds
pairing: Morgan/Reid/Garcia
my series: Momma! Universe
Rated: FRT - yet is meant for ADULTS.
Beta's: helen stravis (she made me Squee with happiness) and Hawkdancing/DiNozzo
Date: March 11, 2007
Spoilers: none
Warning: flu bug

Notes: This in the Momma Triad universe. Yes, I have been sucked into the whole "series" mindset
It's rather short. I do plan to follow onto it later.
The first story is at - http://snufflesdbear.livejournal.com/30920.html
I stumbled on a challenge comm, and it gave me a kick. The challenge was Bathrobe comm is at http://community.livejournal.com/3daychallenge/
This is the fic I wrote- this version has been beta'd and is updated from that version.
Disclaimer: Not mine. Not even the robe. Meds are mine.

If you don't know what a Triad is, or are offended by Triads you may want to move along.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Morgan walked in the front door, quietly pushing it shut behind him. Kicking off his shoes, he placed the bag he was carrying on the kitchen counter. He turned, walking into the living room. He stopped short at the 2 fuzzy blobs cuddled up on the sofa.

A blond head popped up from the pink and green pile. Penelope Garcia grinned widely at the tall man.

"Hey," Morgan breathed out with a smile.

"Hey yourself. Get all your paperwork done?"

"Yeah. It was tough without my goddess there to look things over," he winked down at her, reaching out to caress her face. He stroked her temple, pushing back her tangled hair. Laughing, he pulled his hand out, "bedhead!" he smirked.

Raising one eyebrow, she laughed, "Think that's bad? Look at this - medicine?" She held out one hand. Morgan opened the small white bag still in his hand, taking the bottle out, he popped the top open, readying the contents. She smiled and nodded, letting him hold the pills.

She leaned forward, pulling the dark green robe away from the face laying on her chest. "Baby, time to wake up," she whispered, laying little kisses on the gaunt, pink-fevered face.

"Come on, Spencer, wake up baby. Der brought you your medicine," she softly whispered, urging the man to sit up.

As he blearily sat up, the man suddenly started coughing. Garcia leaned him forward, rubbing his back through the pink robe. Morgan started to snicker, offering the pills and water to Spencer. As he swallowed, Morgan lost it and just sat on the floor in front of the sofa, laughing hard.

Spencer clutched the pink robe tighter around himself, trying to look miffed through the red nose and runny eyes. With a sniff, he glared down at the laughing man. Morgan just looked up at Spencer, one side of his hair sticking straight out from where he was laying on Penelope. She squinted and drew her green robe tighter around herself.

Talking between laugher, Morgan looked at the two mismatched mates. Smiling "you two..." he reached out with one finger. He ran it over Penelope's breasts, down her cleavage, and pulled her robe tighter over her chest. He encouraged Spencer to lay his head back. Standing, he looked at them. "Do I get a fuzzy robe?"

Spencer leered up at him "Bed", he coughed out. Penelope waved her hand imperiously toward the bedroom. Morgan wandered over, wondering what they would have for him to wear.

"Reid! Garcia!" The two on the sofa just quietly laughed, so as not to cough.

---------

Fic: Momma, CM Garcia/R/M FRM/sc non-graphic

2007-02-25T16:36:49Z

Title:Momma
Author:TamyPooh/AllieGator
Rating:FRM/sc
Pairing:Garcia/Reid/Morgan
Summary:You know Daddy!fic everyone drools over? Think Mommy!fic. Sort of.

Spoilers- The Big Game/Revelations and Fear&Loathing
Warnings -Triad - Garcia/Reid/Morgan
Disclaimer:Without Prejudice. The names of all characters contained here-in are the property of CBS/touchstone/mark gordon, et al. No Infringments of these copyrights are intended, and are used here without permission.

A/N: As previously seen in my LJ, but it' been F-locked
Not formally beta'd, but Beta's have looked at it. *shrugs* Guess that means it is okay.
Website- http://www.snirt.us/Gator
LJ- http://snuffledbear.livejournal.com

Not real graphic (IMHO).
no sex.
NC-17 for subject matter
archive- WWoMB anyone else, please ask.

I was just So taken with the "Momma" line in Wednesday. I wrote a (very)little something here. It's...kinky. Well, discusses kinky stuff. I am hoping you like it, 'cause I just don't think there is much of an audience for it.

"Thanks, Mamma!"

Garcia grinned at the nickname. She was sure no one else but Spencer, would understand.

Sitting back, her smile lost a little of it's luster. Her poor baby. Poor Spencer. The nightmares, as expected, were bad once he got home. She was so glad he had her and Morgan there at night. She was glad they had Morgan. She wasn't so sure she could physically control Spencer otherwise. Some of his nightmares were violent.

*******

The other night, when Spencer woke from his nightmare, he was laying between them as usual. He couldn't stop calling for his mother. His sobs wracking his slender frame - which had lost even more weight since his abduction. Penelope held him closer, petting his hair, with Morgan rubbing circles on his back. With the sobs tapering off, Spencer looked at her with tears still streaming down his cheeks. He sniffed, placing one large hand on her breast, he slowly fondled her nipple. Sniffling again, he murmured at her.

"Sweets? Baby? What was that?" She asked.

With a gulp, Spencer buried his face in her chest, softly he said, "I hated my mom for what she was, how I always had to protect her, and what I had to do to her. Locking her up. But I never..." he broke off with a sniff.

"Never what?" She asked, halting Morgan's words with a look.

"Never...never..." He took a large gulp of air, pressing back against the man behind him, rubbing his face into the soft breasts under his face. "Never felt loved, by anyone in my life. Until now."

"Baby..." Garcia started. She broke off at the loud sob from the man on her. "Spencer, honey, what's wrong?"

"I...I...please..." He broke off, leaning down, cupping one breast in his hand, he started to suckle on it. That was the only word she could think of - suckling. And rhythmically squeezing her breast. She felt a wave of heat dash over her body. A type of heat she had not felt ever before.

Morgan looked down at them. A small smile on his face, he pushed himself upright. Sitting up onto his knees, he gently pulled at Spencer to get his attention. Spencer pulled away for a moment, looking at the other man.

"Up, my lady" he quietly ordered Penelope. With a little frown, she sat up, following his directions to lean against the headboard. She leaned forward as Morgan placed her back into a mountain of fluffed pillows. Crawling around, he manipulated Spencer slightly onto his side. Placing Spencer's face back up to Penelope's breast, placing the younger man's hands around the breast. He placed a pillow under Spencer's upper body, another over Penelope's legs, then he spooned up against Spencer's back.

Leaning forward, he licked at the side of Spencer's mouth, startling the younger man's tongue to lick at the nipple under him. As soon as his tongue hit, instinct took over, and he began suckling again. Morgan smiled again, biting at his lower lip, he looked between the two lovers. Spencer's eye's were closing, and Penelope...the look of love and adoration and, yeah, a bit of horny heat, was shining through her eyes, lighting her face.

"Mamma?" He asked softly, hesitatingly, looking up at the blond leaning her over them both. With a soft smile, she looked back, bring one hand to the back of Spencer's head, encouraging his suckling. The other she reached down, cupped Morgan's face, running her finger over his lips.

"You're beautiful," she caressed the larger man, as she brought her hand to hold Spencer's back, resting her hand between the men. She cradled Spencer to her, petting his hair, rubbing his back. Morgan's hand caressed her arm as he brought it up to hold Spencer from behind.

As Spencer fell into a quiet, dreamless, sleep. She could feel, more than hear, his soft murmur of Momma, followed by a soft sigh and off and on,gentle suckling. Held comfortingly between his lovers. A whole new, brighter, world would start opening up before him in the morning.

******
Present -

Garcia smiled again at the memory. She hoped her little boy and her man were getting on okay. She was so worried about how Spencer was coping - or not coping would be more like it - since the abduction. She resolved they would all three talk when the two men came home.

February 17, 2007

moderator contact me?

2007-02-22T17:53:56Z

Would the moderator of this Comm contact me, please. I poked and poked and can not find a name/ID or email address anywhere. I have a fic and don't know if it is appropriate for this site.
tamy(at)populli.net please, thanks!

Medical Investigation Zine

2007-01-26T20:30:50Z

Calling any and all lovers and writers of Medical Investigation and Frank/Stephen. We need stories to make the 2nd MI zine at Neon Rainbow Press a reality. If you're interested, please respond to this thread. 3 pages gets you a trib copy, if accepted.

So come on... promote the Frank-Stephen love. :-)

FIC: (CM) The Aftermath Jase/Der Mentioned

2007-01-21T09:22:28Z

This would not let me go. I really tried to fight it because I have lots of stuff I need to write, but it wouldn't allow it. Of course, this has spoilers for Profiler, Profiled.

Big warning: Dark and bitter Derek.

The Aftermath
by jhourdhaun

"The easiest period in a crisis situation is actually the battle itself. The most difficult is the period of indecision -- whether to fight or run away. And the most dangerous period is the aftermath." Richard M. Nixon

Hotch

I was doing my job. I know that. I did what I had to do to get to the bottom of the charges against Morgan. I know that. I put the pieces together like the profiler I am and I helped bring a killer and child molester to justice.

I make no excuses for that.

So, why do I feel like I destroyed one of my co- ... friends. The look he gave us after Buford was taken away held so much – pain, mistrust, fear… hate. It haunts me. Makes me feel like I've failed Derek in some way. I know I didn't. Realistically, I know I did everything I could to help him. He's free, nothing hanging over his head – that should be enough.

But deep down, a part of me can't… won't forget that look. It was a look that screamed, "You know!" A look that demanded restitution for discovering his deepest, darkest secret. A look that promised this was the end. My concerns were what would ultimately be the cost and the end of what? Our friendship, the team…

He sent us home before Damien's funeral. Or should I say, he left messages for all of us asking that we not attend. At first, none of us thought it was a good idea, but then Gideon managed to convince us that we should accede to Derek's wishes – especially after what this case revealed. He felt, by us stepping back, we would be giving Derek back his control. Giving him back his power, so to speak.

I can't believe I just wrote that last part. That's classic rape rhetoric. It's the phraseology we use when dealing and speaking with victims.

Derek isn't a victim… he wasn't rap-…

And yet, all of my training identifies Derek as fitting that victimology. No, he wasn't raped in the basic sense of the word, but his control and yes, his power was taken away from him. If not by threat, then by promise – promises of a better life, promises of having someone you trust beside you, promises of someone having your back, promises of loyalty… promises of a father-figure to take care of you.

As I look back at what I wrote, it's clear that Buford did indeed "rape", mentally as much as sexually. But, the same could be said for us during this investigation. Yes, when all is said and done, we can look back at our actions and say it was part of the job, but I can see where Derek might feel we violated him just as much as Buford.

And, that's why that look terrifies me.

Gideon

He won't accept my calls. I've tried countless times to reach him, but he won't answer or respond. I know he's been back for a few days – he checked in with central when he returned and they let me know. But I've heard nothing from Derek.

Fran called me. She asked me to watch out for her baby boy. At first, I was too stunned to reply, but then I accepted that Derek and his mother were very close – of course he would share our relationship with her. The conversation vastly improved after that. I promised her I would take care of him to the best of my ability and get him any help he needed. Fran couldn't hide her gratefulness – nor her pain.

"I trusted that … man with my son and he… he hurt my boy!" In between the pain, I could hear the hatred she felt towards Buford and the human part of me wanted to encourage it. That part of me was angry… furious at what he'd done to my lover… what he was still doing to him… to us.

Derek still hadn't called.

Fran continued, "I thought he could make a difference in my son's life." She laughed, but there was not a trace of humour in the sound. "He made a difference all right." Fran paused for a moment. "Did you know before he left, Derek was having nightmares? He would awaken screaming and drenched in a cold sweat, begging that animal to stop… telling him that it made Derek feel dirty.

"What kind of monster would do that to a helpless child?"

"The worst kind," I answered without thinking because my mind was still dwelling on the fact that I didn't know my lover – the man that I'd spent every night with since we'd started our relationship – was having nightmares.

Because Derek wouldn't speak to me. He hadn't returned my calls.

"Everyone wants Buford's head on a platter, but not me. That would be too good for him. I want his balls gift-wrapped and sent to the meanest son-of-a-bitch in the whole prison system."

To say I was shocked to hear Derek's sweet, fragile-like mother demanding something so violent was an understatement. I knew that a mother's protective instincts were strong, but this was something I was unaccustomed. Still, I surprised myself by assuring her, "Just tell me when you want it and I'll see that all of the guards on that cell-block have a two-hour lunch."

I knew I'd scored a point when she laughed. It was a victory of sorts – Buford hadn't succeeded in destroying everything. "Derek said that one of the things he loved about you was your sense of humour. He said you tried to hide it, but every so often, it would make an appearance."

I was glad to hear that Derek had spoken positively about me to his mother. I just hoped that he would again.

"He does love you, you know. He may not say it to you, but a mother knows when something is good in her child's life. And no matter what happened, you are good for my boy, Jason."

I wanted to believe her. I really did, but all I kept seeing was that look he gave me when he demanded some small part of his life for himself and then that look after the local cops took Buford away. Quite simply, he looked betrayed… and it wasn't directed towards Carl Buford.

Could betrayal erase the love?

"Give him time, Jason. Just give him time."

Time was all I had right now.

Derek hadn't called.

Derek

He called me to the station before I left Chicago. I couldn't believe he had the nerve to even speak to me after what he'd done. I would have thought he would have slunk away to hide in a corner somewhere. It was what he deserved, but no, he wanted to see me – to talk.

So, I went… just to hear what he had to say.

I figured that Stanley Gordinski should have a lot to say, starting with an apology.

Dennison ushered me into one of the rooms as if I were royalty and he was a lowly servant – eyes on the floor and not a word spoken. He left the room as quietly as he arrived and I almost snickered at his actions. Almost.

Several minutes passed and I found myself looking around the room. It was so different from the interrogation one I'd wrongly found myself in a few days ago. This room had a more cheerful, upbeat feel to it. There was a nice, new and shiny coffeemaker and one of those bottled water dispensers in the corner near a sofa and loveseat set-up. The chairs in this room were cushioned – nothing like the hard, plastic ones in the other room.

Oh yes, I'd moved up in the food chain. From murderer to honoured guest in one lousy week.

I had my back turned towards the door when he entered and I refused to acknowledge him even after he cleared his throat a few times. Finally, he started. "Uh, Derek, I…"

"That's Senior Special Agent Morgan to you, Gordinski." I finally turned to face him and I could feel my face harden into a stone mask as I watched him.

Gordinski accepted my correction with a small dip of his head. I knew he wouldn't address me that way, but at least I'd established the ground rules. I was no longer a 14 year old kid or a would-be murderer – I deserved respect and by damn he was going to give it to me.

"Look," he started again, "I think I owe you an apology, but, in the end, we wanted the same thing – a killer behind bars."

I felt the fury take over my whole body and I didn't try to stop it. The only concession I made was to clutch the table in front of me so that I wouldn't leap over it and take him down. "You *think* you owe me an apology? Think? If it hadn't been for my team, I would be looking at everything I worked for being destroyed and a possible death sentence hanging over my head and you only *think*."

Gordinski took a step back as he finally took in how angry I was. "You're right. Things could have gone badly for you, but it was all in the name of justice – justice for those three boys and any others we haven't found. It was nothing personal."

"Like hell it wasn't personal! You recorded every movement I made when I was here. You molded a profile so that it would fit me. You made sure to arrest me at my mother's home so that I would feel the worst humiliation." I glared at the man who'd made my life hell since I was a kid. "How can you deny it was personal?"

Like a fish out of water, Gordinski just stared at me with his mouth gaping. And like the predator he'd accused me of being, I took advantage and attacked. "I was a mixed-up kid who'd started to look for something else to help him ignore the pain of losing his dad – the only man who loved me whether I was black or white. I acted out and found myself in a situation that I couldn't control or really understand and I had to fight my way out of it.

"But instead of you understanding that and trying to help me, you used your badge to harass and berate me. You pinned everything that happened in the neighborhood on me and it didn't matter if I was nowhere around. You targeted me for every wrong that happened… and yet, you were too blind to see the wrong that was being committed against me."

I stood to my full height and looked down at Gordinski. "How many boys did you let Carl Buford devastate? How many boys did you happily deliver into his hands so that he could 'put them on the straight and narrow?' How many times did you willingly shake his hand right after he used that same hand to defile us? How many endorsements and recommendations did you give him for destroying our youth and r-raping our innocence?

"How many, Gordinski? You with all of the experience and the knowledge, Mr. Big Man… Mr. Supercop. How many of us did you swear to protect and serve and instead harass and cajole." I could see him diminishing in my eyes, but I didn't care. "How many of us did you leave in unmarked graves while you extolled our killer's virtues?"

He tried to rally, but we both knew he had nothing. "I didn't know. I was trying to do my job…"

"And you failed. I know it. You know it. And now, everyone else knows it." I could feel the angry tears building and I just didn't have the strength to hold them back. "My shame is now yours. The only difference is everyone will forgive my mistake – I was a kid. Just a mixed-up kid.

"What was your excuse?"

For probably the first time in the cop's life, Gordinski had nothing to say. Thankfully, I was almost finished. I wanted out of this place before the taint of it stuck to me permanently.

I walked over to the other man, stood shoulder to shoulder with me facing the door and spoke barely above a whisper. "I've spoken to your superiors and demanded an investigation. I've been assured that IA is looking through your whole career with a fine-tooth comb. There's serious talk that you might be brought up on charges of collusion and they are checking to see if you might have known the other two boys and pimped them to your good friend Carl." I turned my head so that I could look at him, so that I could see what my words were doing to him. "You're through, *Stan*. If you're lucky, you'll maybe come out of this with your pension. But, you'll still be remembered for this whole debacle. You'll be known as the cop who befriended The Monster – as the man behind Carl Buford."

I moved in for the kill. "How's that for a legacy, Gordinski?"

Without another word, I opened the door, uncaring who saw the tear tracks on my face. I walked out of that precinct with my head held high, knowing that the next time I heard Stan Gordinski's name, it would be in a report detailing how he'd eaten his gun.

I didn't care. All I cared about was how dirty I felt.

I still feel dirty. It's one of the reasons why I haven't responded to Jason. I don't want him to know.

All I want now is to keep hunting the monsters – to stop there being more kids like Damien and James…

And me…

The End

Gallery and Brothers Site has moved!

2007-01-08T03:13:52Z

Yeppers, it's done. Both of them have been moved and they seem to be working okay. I figure as long as we limit Karen's time on the Gallery, it shouldn't have any problems. LOL! JK, Karen!

The new URLs are http://kaelleighsworld.com/Brotherssite/btl1.htm for the Brothers Site and http://kaelleighsworld.com/cgi/btlgallery/index.php for the Gallery. Like I said before, your best bet is to register at the Gallery so that you can have access to all of the benefits.

Take care all and have fun.

At the Bargaining Table Sentinel FRM Jim/Blair/Simon

2007-01-05T10:36:55Z

Hope this is okay. I know this pairing/show hasn't been discussed, but... it's one of my faves and it does fit the group theme. Enjoy...

by BuffyAngel68

Title: At The Bargaining Table

Author: BuffyAngel68

Rating: NC-17 m/m/m

Categories: Est. Relationship/ First Time/ Humor

Warnings: Threesome: J/B/S

Summary: Simon won't acknowledge the root of his recent bad mood, but everyone else has guessed. It takes a fateful miscalculation and some serious persistence from Jim and Blair to make him accept the help he needs.

Disclaimer: I'm making no money from this story. I don't own any of the characters used here (well used; as in ridden hard and put up wet) but I adore creating plotlines for them and I believe if they were real, they'd thank us for tossing them into bed with each other so often.

-------------------------------------------------------

"Would you mind repeating that.... detective?"

The complaint Jim Ellison had just mumbled to himself was nothing he would be willing to have the entire conference room hear, so he briefly raised his head, responded, then ducked his eyes again.

"No... sir."

"Let me re-phrase the request. Would you mind repeating that... officer?"

Jim's expression distorted for a moment, regret over the ill-considered comment settling heavily in his gut. Despite knowing the threat was groundless, he glanced up and tossed out a spur of the moment little-white-lie.

"I was just wishing the meeting would get over, sir. It's been a long week for me and Blair.... we really need to head home and get some sleep before we leave for the weekend."

"Oh? Well, in case you've forgotten, you and your partner are not the only two people in this room, Ellison! Your colleagues have as many unsolved crimes on their plates as you do and this meeting will be over when they're done updating me! Is that clear?"

"Yes, sir. Crystal."

"Good! Detective Rafe! Report!"

"Umm... I already did, Captain."

"Okay, okay, who's next? Speak up!"

"Mine was the last one, Simon." Rafe added.

His eyes mere slits, Simon Banks' gaze shifted around the table, falling on every one of his team for at least a few seconds. The stronger ones met his glare evenly, the smart ones looked away.

"Well? What are you waiting on? Get the hell outta here, all of you!" Banks finally shouted, waving his arms emphatically toward the door.

Not one member of the group hung around longer than it took to gather their papers and folders. In seconds the room was empty except for the glowering, obviously furious police captain seated at the head of the table.

As they hurried away, eager to escape the explosive atmosphere, Brian Rafe grabbed Jim's arm and leaned close to him, a conspirator's smile sliding onto his face.

"Okay... I know that was a cover up, brother. Not that I blame you, but.... what'd you really say?"

"No way."

'C'mon, Ellison. After the last two weeks suffering under the tyranny of his high holy pissed-offness, I really need a laugh. Give it up..."

Slipping into his jacket, Jim shot a quick look around the room to ensure himself he was safe, then he gave the other man the truth.

"I said I wish he'd just get laid so things can get back to normal around here."

Rafe smothered his guffaw behind one hand and patted Jim on the shoulder with the other.

"Not like we aren't all thinking the exact same thing, Jim. You're a brave man to let the sentiment pass your lips, though. A very brave man..." the other chuckled as he walked away to pass on the tale of courage to the rest of their tight knit group of friends.

"Jim. You ready to slide on outta here?" Blair asked, returning from the men's room.

"Hell, yeah. Outta here... and into someplace I like a whole lot better. Someplace dark... and hot.... and tight...." Jim breathed into his partner's ear as he slid behind Blair and headed for the elevator. Sandburg whooped quietly, mouthed 'Thanks God' at the ceiling and raced after Ellison.

---------------------------

THE FOLLOWING MORNING:

Bent forward over the back of the couch, Blair groaned, sighed and reflected that Jim hadn't even given him time for breakfast before stripping him of his robe and sweet-talking him into a pre-dawn love-making session. A moment later he reflected that if this was his replacement, he might never eat breakfast again.

"Jim... we were.... supposed to be... gone an hour ago.... oh, shit...."

"Changed my mind, Chief. We can fish anytime. This week was way too long... and I need you too much. I'm not even sharing you with the chipmunks and squirrels...." Jim replied, nudging a little deeper into Blair, drawing a gut-level groan out of his Guide. "That okay with you? If I don't feel like sharing...." he added, pulling away then thrusting back in shallowly. One hand came down to gently caress Blair's thigh in slow circles and the younger man shivered.

"God... yeah... whatever you want.... I'll... I'll do anything.... if you'll move.... God, please move, Jim..."

"Tell me why, Blair. Why should I move?"

"I-I need you to. I need to feel your... balls slap my body.... I need y-your cock sandblasting my prostate.... I love you Jim.... please...."

Slowly, the taller man smiled down at his lover and acceded to his request. Minutes later, lost in endless waves of release crashing and surging through them, neither man heard a key turn almost silently in the lock. They did, however hear the thunderous oath that emerged from the visitor standing just inside the door.

"Jesus, Mary and Joseph!"

Utterly shocked, Jim straightened quickly, backed up a step and half turned, pulling out of Blair before the other was entirely ready.

"Owww! Damn...."

"Blair... God, I'm sorry..."

"It's okay. I'll be fine. Go chase down Simon."

Jim glanced back at the door to find their captain had stormed out. After reassuring himself once more that his partner was not badly hurt, Jim wrapped a robe around himself and went in search of Simon Banks. He found his friend a few steps to one side of the elevator doors, both hands braced on the wall and his head tucked in as he tried to recover his composure.

"Simon...."

"Go back inside, Jim."

Simon's weary tone, not to mention the use of Ellison's name instead of his police rank, told Jim the problem might not be what he was assuming it was. Carefully, he pressed the issue just a little.

"Simon.... I'm really sorry. We weren't supposed to be here, but with all the stress this week neither of us felt like driving or setting up camp... so we decided to stay home."

"Forget it, alright? It's partly my fault. You gave me the key for emergencies, not so I could.... I never should've come."

"Why did you?"

"I ran out of books to read. I wanted to check out that Dick Francis mystery you were talking about last month and... I just thought I'd find it and go."

"C'mon back in. I'll see if I can dig it up for you."

"No. I don't think so."

"Simon... so you saw something you weren't expecting. No big deal. It's not like you didn't suspect...."

Simon finally raised his head and met Jim's eyes.

"You knew?"

"Of course. You and I... we know each other better than any two people in that station know us. If you hadn't picked up on what everybody else missed... I'd think there was something wrong with you." Jim replied, smiling lightly.

"There is..." Simon whispered, his pain making him temporarily forget Jim could hear even his softest words.

"No. I won't believe that. You just need to get... close with somebody again. That's all."

"Close. Nice euphemism." Simon grunted, straightening up to his full height and shaking his head slowly.

"C'mon. Come back in. I'll find that book, pour you some good coffee.... we'll talk. I guarantee, Blair's dressed by now and he's probably making breakfast."

Banks produced a short laugh containing little real humor, but he turned and followed Ellison back into the apartment. Contrary to Jim's statement, however, Blair was not in sight. Concerned, Jim moved to the closed bathroom door and knocked.

"Blair?"

"Yeah...."

"You alright?"

"Umm.... pretty much."

"Hang in. Be with you in a second."

Turning back to his captain, Jim encouraged him, then quickly entered the bathroom and shut the door behind him. "You know where the coffee and the mugs are, Simon. Take your coat off and have a seat. I'll be right out."

Banks threw the room in general a skeptical look, somehow feeling he should be running as fast as his legs would carry him, but after a minute or two, he slipped off his coat, hung it up and moved for the coffee-maker.

When Blair and Jim finally emerged, the younger man moving slowly and with obvious discomfort, Simon was seated on the couch, sipping carefully at a generous serving of caffeine and staring into the middle distance, letting his formidable mind work through the implications of what he'd seen and heard. Unable to miss the way Blair was walking, Simon raised an eyebrow.

"What's the problem, Sandburg?"

"Nothing. I'm fine."

"Uh-huh." The other responded, clearly disbelieving.

"It's just... when you yelled, it surprised Jim and I didn't get a chance to relax before he.... disconnected."

"Oh.... Damn, kid. I.... I'm sorry. I never meant..."

"It's okay, Simon. You weren't expecting to walk in on us like that. It's only natural you'd wanna share the shock. I'll be back to normal in a couple days."

"Hmmph. You won't be coming to the station 'till then, I assume."

"To those hard chairs? Crap. I didn't think of that. Guess not. Teaching I can do standing up, but..."

"We can always tell the guys you got outta line and shot off your mouth, so I had to paddle you within an inch of your life." Jim suggested with a smirk.

"Yeah, like that'll be any less embarrassing than announcing that *Simon* caught us en flagrante and *you* pulled out too fast." Blair countered, laughing and smacking Jim with a convenient throw pillow. Jim grinned and snatched the offending item away.

"You really up to a full-on pillow fight with an ex-army man, Junior?"

"Not 'till I can walk normally again. Okay, okay. I give. Uncle."

"Good choice." Jim replied, slapping the pillow against Blair's chest. The young man trapped it with one hand then dropped it back onto the couch. Gazing at Simon, Blair's heart twisted slightly at the expression of uneasiness on his captain's face.

"Look, Jim, forget the book. I'll just... take off.... give you two some privacy."

"We're not gonna be doing anything private for a while, Simon, trust me. You stay right there. I'll go see if I can remember where I put that book when I got done with it."

"I mean it, Jim...."

"So do I. What happened earlier is over and done. Drink your coffee and relax. I won't be long."

Before Simon could launch another protest, Jim was up and gone. Blair moved around the sofa and, after several hisses and one or two colorful expletives, gradually managed to take a seat beside the police captain.

"So... how long have you known, Simon?"

"I didn't. Couldn't be positive. I've been speculating for a few months now."

"I'm sorry you had to get the truth thrown in your face like that. Especially with what you're going through."

"Me? Don't make this about me, Sandburg. I'm fine."

"Okay. I hear that." Blair said, holding up his hands. "I just thought you should know that while you were wondering about Jim and me.... the rest of MC is wondering about you."

"Oh are they? Wondering what, pray tell?"

"Why you've been so crank... I mean so tense lately. Actually, it's gone beyond wondering. Most of them have made up their minds."

Banks smiled tightly.

"And what conclusion, exactly, have they come to?"

"Promise not to separate my head from my shoulders."

"Sandburg..."

"Okay.... What I've been hearing.... is that they're ready to toss you in a cell with the next prostitute that gets collared, lock the door and hide the key 'till your mood improves."

Simon's smile vanished instantly. He wrapped his hands around the front edge of the sofa, ready to push off, stand and leave, but Jim returned just then with four books in his hands.

"Simon? What's wrong?"

"Thanks for the reading material, Jim. I'm grateful. See you on Monday." he said, accepting the novels and rising to his feet.

Jim looked at Blair accusingly.

"What'd you say, Chief?"

"He deserved to know what everybody at work is thinking, Jim...."

"Brilliant. Simon, don't go."

"It's better if I do."

"Don't listen to him, damn it. Not every cop in Major Crime thinks...."

"Thinks what? That I'm sex-starved? Not that it's any of your business, either of you, but I can take care of myself in that department, alright? Maybe I'm not in a relationship right now, but nothing's going to turn midnight blue and fall off as long as my.... personal resources stay intact!"

Gingerly, Blair rose and moved to stand a few inches from the captain. Gazing up into the tall man's eyes, Sandburg laid a tentative hand on Simon's wrist. When it wasn't immediately shaken off, he felt confident enough to speak.

"Yeah, but.... eventually your hand isn't enough, or you run out of fantasies... or the loneliness just gets so strong you stop even trying. I know. I was celibate almost ten months before Jim and I got together."

This earned Blair a look that said he was the boldest liar Banks had ever met. "I know, as far as you knew, I was willing to chase anything in pantyhose. I played that role so well, even the women believed it. I made it to the bedroom a few times, but they were dismal failures. I performed fine, but I wasn't thinking about them and they knew it. I gave up, resigned myself to dreams of Jim and an eventual case of carpal tunnel syndrome in my dominant hand. Then Jim and I finally bought a ticket for the clue-bus and... here we are."

"I'm not like that. I'm not gay. I was married... I have a child, for God's sake!" Banks countered, backing away one step.

"It's not necessarily that clear cut, Simon. Not for us at least." Jim replied, joining the discussion again. "We decided we're... something else. We don't get turned on by women *or* other guys.... only each other."

Blair grinned.

"Pardon him for the long-windedness. He means we're in love."

Jim cracked his partner with the pillow again. "Okay... I'm a little less in love than I was a minute ago."

"No you're not."

"You're right. I'm not." Blair said stretching his head back for a quick kiss as Jim strolled up behind him.

"Love.... love is a thousand miles beyond me right now, Sandburg." Simon admitted, pacing toward the kitchen then turning and moving back. "I can't even think about love when I'm so..."

"Deprived? Depressed? Disgusted?"

"All of the above. I just... can't see my way clear of it anymore. I don't know what to do."

"Are you taking suggestions?"

"If it'll help me shake loose from the way I've been feeling lately.... I don't think I can turn down any reasonable idea."

Jim smiled and spoke up.

"Define reasonable."

"Define... do I want to know what you're thinking, Ellison?"

"The same thing he's thinking. I hope."

Banks turned his slightly suspicious gaze back on Blair.

"Go ahead, Sandburg."

"Well... the way I see it, before you can make a start on the emotional side of your problems, you have to.... relax. You know.... relax? As in..."

"Stop! I get it. It doesn't work. It's like you said.... any women I wanted to get.... intimate with could tell I just wasn't.... invested in the situation. I tried helping myself, but...."

"Of course none of that worked, Simon. For one thing, self-gratification is less likely to show results when you're already stressed out, and if anything stresses a guy out.... it's having a woman give you the 'It's not your fault, it happens to every man sometime.' speech. Besides, they were strangers. Deep down, you knew they didn't really care about you or what you needed."

"Blair...."

"Hang on. Let me finish, okay? The loft could be the ideal setting for this to work, Simon. You know this place, you're comfortable here.... and you trust us. If you wanna give it a shot...."

"I... I don't think...."

Blair raised his hands in supplication once again. When he spoke, Simon could hear the sincerity in his voice and he had to fight down a sudden and powerful surge of emotion.

"Hey, it's alright. It was.... a thought. That's all. We won't say anything more about it. I'm sorry if I embarrassed you, man. I really hope I haven't screwed up our friendship..."

"No... God no. I'm trying to...."

Simon turned away for a long moment, composing himself and gathering together his scattered thoughts. Eventually he decided that, despite his fears, he had nothing to lose and everything to gain by putting his frail self-confidence in the hands of his best friends. Facing them again, he breathed deeply and plunged in.

"What do I do?"

Blair smiled brightly. Jim slipped his hands around his partner's waist for a moment, squeezed gently and dropped another kiss on Sandburg's cheek. Once Jim released him, Blair took Simon's faintly trembling hand and led him to the couch.

"Nothing. You do nothing. That may be the secret to getting you past this roadblock." The younger man explained, slowly kneeling on the floor between Simon's legs. "You've been trying to force it.... thinking control was the answer, when what you really need to do is let it all go. No more frustration, no more struggling to get back what you think you've lost. Your part of the fight's done. Let Jim and I take over, okay? Let us lead...."

As Blair softly caressed Simon's face and temples, his eyes slipped shut and his head gradually fell back. While Blair moved on to points south, Jim eased a pillow behind his captain's neck and murmured softly to him.

"That's the way, Simon. Good.... listen to Blair. He's a master with words.... if anybody can talk you through this, he can. Let his voice guide you...."

Blair took his time unbuckling Simon's belt and releasing the button and zipper on his pants. He moved slowly, giving the other man time to adjust to every shift of clothing and stroke of fingers over his skin. All the while, he talked quietly, gentling Banks through each stage.

"Good.... really good. Let it go. Open your hands, Simon. Fists are no good. You can't punch the fear and make it go away." Blair said as a cue to Jim, who began soothing and uncurling Simon's hands. "Wow. I had no idea your skin would be so soft. I could spend hours just touching you and never get enough. Mmmm." Blair hummed, leaning close. "You smell different... a little spicy. I love it. I'll bet you have a beautiful chest.... with dark, sensitive nipples."

Jim, beginning to pick up on his cues faster now, unbuttoned Simon's dress shirt and spread the halves apart, exposing an expanse of skin the color of bittersweet chocolate. After a moment, he began to stroke his thumbs over and around the nipples, finally eliciting a moan. By this point, Blair had carefully drawn out Simon's flaccid cock and was beginning the verbal and physical work of bringing the captain to orgasm. "Your cock is beautiful. Has anyone ever told you that? It's huge... so heavy in my hand.... I know it gets bigger, though. Longer and harder... I can show you. All I have to do is wrap my hand around you... and slide it up and down. Feel the wetness between my skin and yours? That's your pre-come, Simon. I'm using your fluid to make you harder.... doesn't it feel fantastic? You're getting so hard now.... your scent is so strong. Can you smell it? Can you smell how close you are? Let it go, Simon. Release all the fear and tension and stress when you come. So close.... your balls are tightening.... it's on the way.... don't fight against it, man.... there... good.... so good, Simon...."

Blair and Jim both talked Simon through his release, soothing him with words and gentle touches. When it was over, Blair reached up and gently wiped a tear from Simon's cheek.

"You're okay, Simon. Everything's okay. Take it easy."

"God... I was so sure it wouldn't happen.... that it couldn't...."

"It did. You were amazing."

"Blair... will this...."

"What?"

"Will it mess up you and Jim?" Simon asked cautiously, sitting up and beginning to re-settle his clothing.

"No way." Jim answered. "If it was just one of us, and they didn't tell the other.... maybe, but we both wanted to help you. It was a mutual agreement."

"And... if I wanted to renew that agreement at some point in the future? Maybe even expand the scope?"

Blair's smile shone bright enough to light Las Vegas.

"I think we could negotiate. Jim?"

"Definitely. We could definitely do that."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

END

Fic Rec for The Evidence

2007-01-04T04:31:56Z

Pardon the icon... I don't have one for Sean and Cayman. Yet. LOL I figured David would be a good stand-in.

I always try to check out the site "While we tell of yuletide treasure" around the holidays because they have this lovely tradition of folks writing fics for other folks. On request.

Not to bore you, but I squealed (loudly!) when I found this one! I really enjoy the pacing and characterization. It felt like I was watching en ep of the show! The banter between the boys is sterling.

Hope you enjoy it as much as I did! If so, feed the author. :) You never know... it might wake up her muse again!

Here's the URL, crude as it is. I haven't mastered creating links yet!

http://yuletidetreasure.org/archive/27/breakingtradition.html

Enjoy!

Paige

Gallery Update

2007-01-02T17:31:03Z

Unfortunately, this doesn't mean that it's up and running. For those of you who are on my Warrick and Grissom list, you know the problems I've had with my webhost. Well, chalk something else up to them. Somehow the database that is needed for the gallery programme was either partially deleted or corrupted... and of course, this happened during the long weekend when they were not available. I sent a request through email support which I have not had any response. And all of these major problems have occurred since I upgraded to a supposedly "better" package. I've tried to be loyal, I really have, but putting that gallery together took almost an entire week and now, for all intents and purposes, it's gone.

So, after almost eight years with them, I am looking to leave and find a better host. What this means is that the gallery will not be back up for a while. I am going to have to start completely from scratch and rebuild once I do decide on a different host. The ever-wonderful Neb has volunteered to host the Gallery for a bit, but I think that wouldn't be fair to you gys to get used to one URL and then switch to another one a few days later.

I really am sorry for all of this and I promise it is coming.

Take care all and I hope everyone has a happy new year.

P.S. For anyone who likes my other sites, they will also be switching over to the new host and that does include the Warrick and Grissom archive.

Spoke too soon

2006-12-31T10:17:01Z

Unfortunately, we've run into a slight snafu, so we'll let you know when the Gallery is back.

The Gallery...

2006-12-31T05:45:55Z

is done!

It took a lot of work and help from the wonderful Neb (the Geek in the Two Ebs an Iv and a Geek), but it's done. I've been culling these pics for a while and I have no idea where a lot of these came from, but if you recognise one from someone's site, please let me know and I'll make sure to get permission to use.

You can find the Gallery at http://majorcrimes.freeservers.com/cgi/btlgallery/index.php . There are actually a couple of ways to access it. There's a link at the comm under the Zoomin' header and then, towards the bottom on the left, you'll find the link at the main site. To get full access to all of the fun stuff (e-cards and the ability to upload pics to the original and miscellaneous folder), you really should register. But, if you only want to look at the beautiful men, you don't have to.

So, go ahead and look, rate the pics and comment. It's fun and one should never turn down eye-candy. LOL!

FIC: CM: Caught? H/R/M; NC-17/FRAO

2006-12-28T18:07:29Z

Hey all, I come bearing fic for you. I almost forgot to post it here! Bad me! This has been xposted to cm_slash and bau_fic

Title: Caught?
Author: Stacy L.A. Stronach
Fandom(s): Criminal Minds
Pairing (if applicable): Hotch/Reid/Morgan
Rating (use the MPAA as a guideline): NC-17/FRAO
Word Count: 2172
wtf27 Prompt: 027 Author's Choice: public sex
Warnings (if any): PWP

Disclaimers: Not mine, belong to others, I’m just borrowing. No infringement, no money.

Author's Notes: Pure and simple smut. PWP all the way...and most likely on it's way to crack!fic. Written for nebula99 for her Christmas wish list. It's only a couple days late. :D

Feedback welcome!

Link to story on my LJ

Drowning 7 and 8

2006-12-27T10:52:48Z

7/?

-----------------

THREE HOURS LATER:

Gradually, reluctantly, Spencer felt himself swimming back up through layers of cotton and fog, rising out of the contented sleep he'd been enjoying. Groaning unhappily, he returned to the world to find himself covered with the top sheet and a comforter. His gloom vanished instantly, however, when he realized he wasn't alone in the warm cocoon. Gazing down at where a dark hand was draped protectively over his midsection, Spencer grinned sleepily and quietly called out his companion's name.

"Derek... Derek, you awake?"

The hand twitched and the other man released a sound of displeasure much like the one Spencer had produced a moment before.

"I am now... lemme guess, if the prince don't sleep, nobody sleeps right?" Derek chuckled.

"Oh no. Tell me there's no valium in the house."

"No, but I can get my hands on some... How you doin', kid?"

"I'm fine. Jason and Hotch..."

"They cleaned up an' took off just after you fell asleep. I tried to get 'em to stay, but Jase insisted it wasn't all three of us you wanted to wake up with."

"He... he was right about that."

"Good to hear." Derek acknowledged, tugging Spencer a little closer. "You know... I've never experienced anything like I did today. None of us have. Jase and Hotch actually got a little shook up there at the end."

Spencer rolled to face Derek and came up onto one elbow, his face awash with concern and regret.

"They were? If I did something wrong or upset them somehow, I didn't mean it..."

"Hey, hey, calm down. I said that wrong, okay? You did fine." Derek soothed, reaching out to touch Spencer's face lightly. "You impressed the hell out of 'em, if you wanna know the truth. Havin' an orgasm without ever bein' touched or touching yourself... that's not somethin' that happens too often."

"I... they... they did?"

"Yeah. You should've seen the two of 'em. Neither one knew what to think about it. Hotch said he hadn't come in his shorts like that since he was a teenager."

"But... why? I'm not sure I understand..."

"Because of you, Spence. The way you moved an' sounded... the way you responded to their touches and words. Trust me, just bein' in the room would've been enough for any guy to lose it. You... are incredibly sexy an' I'm gonna find a way to get that through to you."

"Just looking in your eyes... I can see you believe that. I just... I don't..."

"Shhh." Derek told him, laying a gentle hand over Spencer's lips. "It'll take time to change your mind, I know.... but I will. Somehow, some way, I will."

Spencer lightly kissed Derek's fingers then gripped the hand tightly.

"Thank you for keeping your promise... for being here when I woke up. That meant so much."

"As if I could be anywhere else."

Slowly, Spencer's eyes widened and his expression filled with amazement. His throat tightened momentarily and when he found his voice again he could only speak in an awed whisper.

"This... you didn't just do all this to help me, because we're friends. There's more..."

"Spence..."

"No, don't try and protect me, Derek. I can handle what you're feeling. Just say it... please."

"It's not that easy. You don't really know who I am... who I've been." Derek began, sitting up fully.

"So talk to me."

"I date, I make love, I let the good times roll... but I don't fall. One of my boyfriends, he told me "Derek Morgan might play, but he don't stay." That's been my motto for so many years... then you come along and all of a sudden... thoughts are goin' through my head that scare the shit outta me."

"Like?"

"What was he like as a kid? Where does he live? Should I try to get him to move in with me, or convince him to let me live with him? If all he's got is a tiny apartment, whose furniture do we keep? Who do I call about a commitment ceremony? How do I tell him I love him when I don't even think he's sure we're friends?"

Spence was silent and somber for several minutes, gripping Derek's hand fiercely while tears shimmered at the corners of his eyes. Just when Derek's heart had begun to sink and he was sure Spencer was about to leap up and sprint away, the younger man spoke again and both fell onto their sides, embracing and bellowing relieved laughter.

"My place is a shoebox, we're definitely living here... and I'd like to keep my bookcases and my Lazyboy recliner."

"You got it, kid... anything you want..."

"One more thing?"

"Yeah?"

"Call me babe, call me sweetheart, call me hot stuff if you feel like it... but no more 'kid'. I'm not a child anymore... not after today."

"Oh, I know you're all man. Or did you forget how I proved that earlier..." Derek purred, dipping his face into the hollow of Spencer's throat and drawing a deep breath. His young lover shivered and let his head fall back.

"Mmmm... I like that... my, uhhh... my education isn't... complete is it?"

"No... and it doesn't have to be... not until you're ready."

"God, you make me feel so good... so strong and desirable..."

"You are... you are. I desire you, Spence. More than you could possibly know... but it's not about what I want or need. You come first... before anything else." Derek vowed, shifting up and locking gazes with the younger man. "You decide if you're ready for anything more. You know I'll back off if you tell me to."

"I need more information before I make my choice. Why don't you tell me about this final step... describe it to me." Spencer asked, a wicked smile playing on his lips.

"In full... graphic... detail?" Derek responded, punctuating his words with kisses.

"Absolutely..."

"You're not stupid... an' you're not a mediaphobe either. You know the basic process..."

"Agreed... but I may be about to trust you with guiding me through a watershed moment in my life. I need more than what goes where, Derek."

"Like will it hurt?"

"Like that." Spencer replied, the faintest tinge of fear now coloring his expression and his tone of voice.

"A little. You'll need to stretch to take me in and the first time... it aches. No way around that."

"Stretch... with your fingers, right?"

"Yeah, to start. I've used my tongue before, too. That... that can be seriously hot, especially if your partner's receptive and willing to experiment a little."

"I will be, I think... just not today. Not yet... Fingers?"

"Okay... First, I take a few drops of lubricant and warm it up between my fingers. Then I slip my hand down behind your balls and start to rub it around a little, just to get you relaxed. When I can feel you're ready, I slip just the tip of one finger inside you and move it in and out, really slowly... and I twist it back and forth to start the stretching..."

Spencer half closed his eyes, shifted on the bed and whimpered faintly. "You okay?"

"No... I'm getting... an erection again... I need you, Derek..."

"You want show and tell, that it?"

Spencer nodded. Derek hesitated, feeling himself begin to tremble, which shocked him. Sex hadn't made him truly nervous for a long, long time and it took him a minute or two to understand why this partner and this situation was making him so anxious: this man wasn't just any warm body and this time, he couldn't walk away afterwards and go whistling back to his life with barely a thought and no repercussions or regrets.

"Derek?"

"Yeah... yeah, I'm here. Sorry. It's just... it hit me how much it's gonna mean to me if I say yes to you. Like I told you, Spence, I'm a player... always have been. If I let this happen I'll never be one again. I know what you said, an' I believe you, I do, but... are you really ready for this? Are you sure you're ready to be in a committed relationship? I mean... you're so young and so new to all this. There's so much you haven't seen and done when it comes to dating, sex, love... I couldn't stand it if I thought I was robbin' you of even the smallest thing you deserve to experience..."

"I was ready ten minutes after I first met you, Derek, and anything I'm missing, I trust you to give me. I don't want to date anyone else or make love with anyone else. I'm too smart to waste my time that way... when all I'll do is end up right back where I belong."

"God, I love you, sweetheart..." Derek murmured on a shaky exhale, dropping a soft kiss on Spencer's brow then pulling back with a quiet laugh to stare down into the immeasurable depths of his lover's eyes. "Just saying those words doubles how petrified I am right now, but you know what? I couldn't care less... Okay. Okay, Spence... if you want show an' tell, that's what you get..."

Getting to his feet, Derek swiftly stripped off his t-shirt and boxers then reached out and pulled the concealing bed-covers down and off, exposing the body he adored. He barely stopped himself from proclaiming Spencer's beauty again, but he managed, knowing the other man would only brush off the sentiment once more. The work that would result in Spencer truly believing how striking and alluring he was needed to be done outside the bedroom, and at the moment Derek couldn't think about anything except where they were and what was, hopefully, about to happen. Sliding back onto the bed, he leaned forward, braced himself on his fists and dropped his face down over Spencer's for a deep, intoxicating kiss. When he finally pulled back, both men were flushed and breathing heavily. "I've been hungry for that all day... watchin' you kiss those other two just about drove me insane..."

"Was it alright? I mean..."

Derek grasped Spencer's hand gently, directed it down to where his own erection was slowly regaining strength and held it there for a few seconds. To his shock, when he released his grip, his lover didn't retreat.

"That answer your question?"

"Completely. Wow.... oh my God... is it... do I feel like this?"

"I don't know." Derek replied, kissing his way down to Spencer's chest. "Describe it..."

"Heat... pouring off you. I can feel your pulse... that's so amazing..."

"Mm-hmm... amazing is exactly how you feel. An' that pulse? Wait 'till that's inside you. Feels like you've got two hearts. Keep goin'... what else?"

"Sweat... I didn't know you could... sweat there... oh, yes... more of that, please..."

"I noticed you were sensitive here... God, Jase was so right... you do taste incredible..."

"Oh... oh, it's getting worse... I'm... I'm leaking..."

"I know, baby... I know... I can feel you against my hip... long an' strong, hot an' heavy... wanna get that inside me one a'these days... feel you push into me 'till you can't go any deeper... then slide in an' out... speed up, slow down over an' over... keepin' me on the edge 'till you decide the time is right to finish me off..."

"Derek, for God's sake... you know what words do to me..."

"An' I love seein' it. Hey, did I *ever* claim I played fair?" he responded with a wicked grin. "You gotta let me go for a minute so I can get the supplies..."

Reluctantly, Spencer complied and Derek reached over the side, grabbing the tote bag and pulling it onto the bed. He retrieved the condoms and lubricant Hotch had provided and tossed the bag back to the floor. "Okay... here we go... relax for me, Spence... open up your legs... that's it... slow an' easy... just touching for now... yeah... good. Relax..."

"Oh! Ohhhh... God, Derek, that's..."

"There... feel the muscle gettin' loose? Little by little... nice. More lube... I slip right in... Easy, Spence..." Derek told him calmly as the young man seized up around the invader. "If you get really scared you know what to do..."

"S... special word..."

"That's right. Don't be ashamed to use it if you have to, alright?"

"I... I'm fine... so far... it feels good... strange, but... good..."

"I haven't moved my hand yet. Let me in, baby... yeah... let me go a little deeper... that's it... now out, back in... and twist."

"Mmmm... Oh, Derek... yes... yes, yes... Derek..."

"I'm probably gonna have to use at least three fingers, Spence." The older man warned. "That's gonna burn and sting at first, but it gets better once your muscles adjust. Can you handle that?"

"I want you... want this... I'll do anything to... have you inside me... a part of my body... like you are my heart... I can take it. Do it, Derek... do it..."

"Yeah... we'll get into being careful where and how you say that later on." He laughed, gently removing his finger. Spencer protested, but the other hushed him. "Relax. I just wanna get you over on your side before I go any further. It’ll be easier that way. You'll be sore enough tomorrow as it is without strainin' your back."

"Oh... okay. Just hurry, please? I really liked how that felt..."

"So did I, believe me." Derek responded huskily, helping Spencer roll over, gently positioning the younger man. When he slowly re-entered his lover's body, it was with two digits this time and the younger man hissed. "Ease up, Spence... lemme in... there... good..."

"It... it does burn... a little..."

"I know. Hang in, okay? Be strong..."

"I'll try..."

Another few minutes and Derek was able to insert a third finger with relative ease. He considered seeking out and stroking Spencer's prostate to ease the ache a bit, but decided to save that wonderful surprise for what came next.

"Hey... you doin' alright?"

"Yes... it's better... I hardly feel the... the burn anymore..."

"That means it's about time for the main event, then. You're nice an' open... stretched out..."

"Mmmm... I can feel it... I'm ready for you... want you so much, Derek..."

Ripping open the condom packet, Derek quickly encased his cock in the sheath and lavishly covered the latex with the remainder of the lubricant. Reaching around, he palmed Spencer's cock and whispered lovingly in his ear.

"Okay... when I start, you're erection's gonna fade some... but don't be worried. It'll come back with a vengeance once you get used to havin' me inside."

"I-I understand... now please..."

"I love you, Spencer Reid..."

"Love you... ahhhh! Derek..."

"Easy... let yourself adjust, Spence... yeah. You feel so good, baby... like we were made for this... perfect fit... gonna get a little deeper now..."

Spencer tried to speak, but found his voice wouldn't obey his commands. He was reduced to grunts and murmurs of pleasure as Derek gradually pressed in a bit at a time, until finally their hips were molded together and a dark chest lay flush against a pale back. As his discomfort died away to be replaced with intense pleasure, Spencer closed his eyes and began producing the unconscious, rumbling hum that had so delighted Hotch and Gideon. Feeling the sound vibrate through their skin-to-skin connection, Derek gasped and shivered. "So that's what they were talkin' about... hell, Spence... never known anything like it..."

Retreating until he was halfway out, Derek thrust back in slowly, but with the multiple sensations assaulting him, he knew he wouldn't be able to stay at that tempo very long. Stroking Spencer's rapidly recovering erection, he made his next pull and push a little harder and quicker. "Spence... baby, I'm so close... I need to really move... you okay with that?"

An unsteady nod against his shoulder was all the answer Derek received and all he needed. In moments his thrusts were strong and regular and Spencer was supplementing his hum with occasional groans and cries. What emerged when his lover finally caressed his prostate, however, was a full blown scream that freed his voice box at last.

"D-Derek! Oh my God... again!"

"My pleasure... and yours..."

"Yes! God, Derek, yes... yes, yes, yes... make me come, Derek! Stroke me harder... like that... I'm coming... don't stop, Derek, I'm coming!"

"Me too, babe... feel it, Spence... two hearts... two hearts... you an' me forever..."

"Derek!"

"Love you, Spence... love you..."

--------------------------

8/?

--------------

MONDAY, EARLY AFTERNOON:

-------------------------

"So what do you think? Should we do a press release with or without the victim picture? J.J.? Hey, I'm over here."

"What? Oh... sorry, Elle. I was distracted..."

"I noticed. Don't tell me you're crushing on Spencer..."

"Me? Hardly. Someone else seems to be, though."

Elle glanced discreetly in the direction of the pair that had ensnared her colleague's attention to the exclusion of all else. Looking back to J.J., Elle grinned and shook her head.

"Morgan? The ladies man of all ladies men? Please! I *don't* think so."

"I do. Look again..."

Elle complied, despite firmly believing J.J needed a few hours of extra sleep. A more careful study of Morgan and Spencer shifted her perspective, however.

"Well... No, c'mon. They *are* friends, you know. There's nothing more going on..."

"Yeah? What was that then?"

"What?"

"You didn't see that? Just before he walked off, Morgan kissed his fingers and then he *stroked* Reid's wrist!" J.J whispered excitedly.

"He did not! Derek was... wiping his mouth, that's all..."

"Wiping what? It's way past lunch."

Elle glanced at the men once more, but her expression had gradually moved from disbelief to confusion. Her uncertain response reflected how she was feeling.

"Drool?"

"Yeah, and I know who he's drooling over..."

"J.J. stop!" Elle hissed, giggling, but hiding her face. "Hotch would kick *both* our asses if he heard us!"

"Heard what?" Hotch intoned wryly from behind the women. Both glanced up at him with guilty smiles.

"Nothing..." Elle began, only to be overridden by the more open and candid J.J.

"Morgan's flirting with Spencer, I know it, but she refuses to believe me."

Hotch stared at the floor for a long time then finally answered in a quiet, affectionate tone.

"I'm only telling you this because I know you both genuinely care about Spence and I can trust you to keep your mouths shut..."

Elle gaped. J.J. grinned broadly.

"He *was* flirting! How totally cool is that..."

"It's gone way beyond that stage." Hotch corrected. "The feeling is also mutual."

"No way! How do you know?"

Hotch merely smiled and gave the ladies a gentle admonishment in lieu of an answer.

"Get back to work, you two. And remember..."

"Not a word. We won't, I swear..." Elle murmured as Hotch strolled away. She managed to regain her focus and for the remainder of the afternoon work went smoothly, but at six o'clock, as she was walking across the parking garage to her car, she saw Morgan unlocking his own vehicle and could no longer resist resolving her tangled emotions. As Elle slowly approached, Derek saw her reflection in his car window and turned to greet her with a bright smile. The grin faded when he caught her expression.

"Elle? What's up?"

She studied him carefully for a moment before she responded with a sad smile of her own and a question that was half regretful and half warm and tender.

"My God... they were right. You and Spencer are in love aren't you?"

"What? I don't know what you're talkin' about..."

"It's okay. I won't tell anyone. You know that. I'm just... can I give you one kiss? Just on the cheek..."

"Yeah... of course. Go ahead."

Elle dropped a soft peck on the left side of his face and pulled back reluctantly, tears shimmering at the corners of her eyes. Derek looked even more confused and reached out to grasp her hand.

"Hey, what's this all about huh? You've never been one for waterworks."

"Pay no attention. I'm just feeling like a fool, I guess... finally seeing the risks I didn't take, the opportunities I passed on."

"Elle..."

"No. I'm really happy for both of you. I hope you can believe that."

"He's so amazin', Elle... special beyond anything I ever thought I'd find. If you or I had jumped a little quicker, maybe things woulda been completely different, but..."

"No apologies for being in love, Derek."

"There was never intent to cause you pain..."

"Forget it, okay?" she chuckled brokenly through the tears that had now spilled over and begun to streak down her face. "It's not your fault that I'm always one step from catching up to the perfect guy. Story of my life..."

Gently, she hugged him and kissed him once more, whispering in his ear before she pulled away. "You take care of him and *always* treat him right or I will kick your ass to D.C. and back."

"Pinky swear."

Their little fingers curled around each other and they both tugged slightly. Elle released his hand and walked away without saying anything more. His heart aching, Derek watched her go until he could no longer distinguish her from the shadows in the dimly lit garage, then he climbed into his car and sat for a long time, silently thanking God for what he'd found and praying that someday Elle would be as lucky.

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END