Current mood:	awake
Entry tags:	babysitters on board, ss#1, super specials

SS #1 Babysitters On Board Ch.11-15
Sorry about the delay kids, the next section shouldn't hopefully take me too long to post, but here are the next five chapters. :D But for taking so long, I have a little present: Cover snark!

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/images/0590442406/ref=dp_image_0/002-7278759-2081648?ie=UTF8&n=283155&s=books

Whee, boat trip! Stacey looks like she’s on some sort of parade float. Perhaps she thinks she *is* on a parade float. Kristy looks like she’s posing for a family portrait. WTF is Dawn wearing?! An all white sweatpants suit?! Perhaps it’s so she can see the dirt that gets on it and can then immediately clean it. It also looks like she’s holding onto the rail for dear life. Claudia looks like she’d rather be somewhere else and Mary Anne looks like she’s trying to pick someone up. I’m gonna assume that the kids on the cover are Karen, Andrew and probably Claire Pike. The only problem with Karen is she isn’t wearing glasses. I hope the girls are paying attention though because Claire and Andrew look like they’re gonna jump ship. Maybe they want to do a reenactment of Blue Lagoon. But back to the story snark which is located under the below lj cut for your convenience. :)

Ch 11- Mary Anne
Oh my god. I am in shock. Three nine year olds who were allowed to run freely on the ship with no supervision at all, are in trouble. I am in shock, just shock. So now all the Pike kids, except for Mallory, are under supervision. They all gathered with the kids in the room that Mary Anne is sharing Mallory and Vanessa the Slow. When Mary Anne said that, it made me think that Vanessa was slow mentally, not physically. Also large, surly and Russian. With a mole. But anywho, Stacey takes charge because Mary Anne is too much of a wuss and decides to stick M.A. with the triplets and take the girls and Nicky. But they’re in for a surprise when Nicky wants to join the triplets… and they let him! Cue shocking music. They let Nicky join and decide not to question it. So Mary Anne sets off with the boys and then is soon joined by David Michael. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Five kids? Isn’t that a BSC no-no? Don’t they need another sitter now?

Anyways the kids are dragging M.A. all around the ship and she has to remind them that that’s how they got in trouble the first time and why in god’s name are they acting like crazy maniacs. They decide to tell her even though a fisherman laughed and Dawn didn’t even pay attention, that whore. M.A. thinks it’s hilarious that the kids think they’re going to find sunken treasure on a cruise ship but doesn’t let on. After all she’s heard of stranger things (Claudia’s outfits?). So they set off again and now Mary Anne’s bored, so she decides to take millions of pictures. Even that bores her so she heaves this huge sigh and who should hear it, but Alexandra the Skank and Mary Anne drools over her again. Then M.A. was shocked and surprised that such a beautiful girl would remember seeing her before and then begins obsessing about her again because her parents were killed, she’s an actress, and her aunt is a countess with tons of money. And now it’s starting to sound like a Lifetime movie. Alexandra whines about how sucky her hair looks and M.A. assures her that its beautiful. She then says her brother said it looks like someone took a hacksaw to it. RED FLAG MARY ANNE!!! Um, didn’t Alexandra say she was traveling alone? M.A. thinks it sounded weird but is too hormonal to care so she then immediately introduces herself to her. They start talking about cruises, M.A. says she heard Spider from The Insects is on the ship, Alex (yeah, M.A.’s on a nickname basis with her now) says no he’s not, she’s really good friends with him. Mary Anne then becomes obsessed and wants to learn more about Alex so she starts asking questions. Alexandra says that her parents were killed six months ago and M.A. couldn’t possibly know how it feels, but oh she does because she’s a half orphan.

Suddenly Jordan Pike comes running up complaining that he can’t find anything. Mary Anne then tries to listen to Jordan and pick up a hot girl at the same time but alas it does not work. Alex leaves and Mary Anne goes back to what she should have been doing, babysitting and not trying to pick up hot chicks that might have a personality disorder. So instead of comforting Jordan who seem genuinely upset that they didn’t find anything, her mind is totally on Alex. Nicky then cheers Jordan up by saying they can still search for treasure at Disney. Mary Anne then thinks she found a true friend (life partner?) but doesn’t know why Alex lied to her…

Ch 12- Stacey
Stacey thought she’d have it easy sticking Mary Anne with the boys, but not so much. The girls all want to different things. Vanessa wants to read and Margo and Claire want to go to the arcade and go shopping. Apparently Mallory decides to give up her spy life for the day and volunteers to take Vanessa to the deck to read because she wants to as well. Stacey says it’s okay with her, if it’s okay with the parents because Mallory is responsible. For a ten year old who thinks she’s a spy. They of course get permission and everyone heads off. After some shopping and a dip in the pool they then head over to the arcade and run into Marc (kid in wheelchair) and his dad. Stacey prays that the girls don’t say anything embarrassing. They trade hellos and the Pike invite him to the arcade, so they go and play some games but then get sad when Marc says that he can’t ride on Space Mountain at Disney. So Stacey has them eat their feelings by taking them for ice cream and reminds us again that she has diabetes. While there they run into Claudia where Stacey reminds us that Claudia loves junk food. And then as Stacey’s waiting in line to pay the bill, I pull this excerpt from the book:

Why was he whispering? And who was he pointing to? I turned to look. He was pointing at Claudia! Or at least I thought he was. An older woman was at a table in front of ours, and a girl my age was at a table in back of ours. But neither of them looked like she deserved a Secret Admirer. He must mean Claudia. This boy must be her Secret Admirer!

I think that is one of the most bitchy/hilarious things I’ve read so far in this book. Neither of them looked like they deserved a secret admirer… Well I guess you don’t look like you deserve one either Stacey cause you don’t have one! Stacey tries to get Claud’s attention but it’s too late, he’s gone. So Claudia chases after him and Marc declares that this is the most fun he’s had and they sure do exciting things. Stacey then wished Claudia would find her stalker and she couldn’t wait to talk to her later.

Ch 13 Claudia
Claudia is appalled that Stacey does not have a photographic memory and therefore did not know what her stalker looked like. Except that she thinks he has brown hair. All I have to say is how dare you Stacey, how dare you. So Claudia hauls ass out of the ice cream parlor, only after she debates herself on whether or not she wants to finish the last five spoonfuls of her ice cream. It really amazes me that Claudia’s not a lard ass with all the crap that she eats. At least this time BOY took more precedence than STUFF YOUR FACE, so I’ll give her a snap for that. Anyways, she busts out of the ice cream parlor feeling like a spy (what’s with all the spy references? I think AMM wishes she were Agent 99 or something) and runs into this boy with blonde hair. She asks him if he’s seen a brown haired boy run by. He says no but a red haired boy with great sneakers ran by.

They start walking and talking, Claudia explains the stalker situation, realizes it couldn’t have been Spider from The Insects and is bummed. The two continue to talk about the stalker and then they finally introduce themselves to each other. And then it became awkward. Claudia then asks where he’s (now Timothy) from thinking its some place exotic like Tahiti or L.A. but no, he’s from Connecticut. Claudia spazzes that she’s from Connecticut too. Timothy then says they’re destined to meet again when their high schools play football. Or never since they’re stuck in that time warp. But they decide to spend time at Disney World together. Claudia then spazzes out when she sees land and immediately hurries to her cabin to pack her stuff. When she gets there, she gives Kristy and Dawn an ultimatum to quit their bitching and get along. They were surprised, but hopefully for their sakes, they’ll follow through.

Ch 14- Kristy
Well now they’re finally on land and in an actual hotel/palace because that’s how big their room is. It seems like another fight is on the horizon when Kristy asks who gets the big king sized bed to herself and Claudia lays down the law again saying they’ll switch off. She then makes Kristy and Dawn call a truce. The two do it because now they are scared of Claudia and her wrath. No one’s talking so Kristy turns on the tv and is excited to find out that they have cable. Dawn spazzes out because she doesn’t have cable and then immediately wants to watch something they’re not supposed to (raise your hand if you think it’s porn), but nothing terrible was on except for an old murder mystery. So finally all their stuff was put away and the room was neat. Of course Kristy can’t help herself now and opens a bag of Fritos, dumps it on the nightstand and then crumples the bag up and drops it on the floor. Dawn makes a face, snatches it up and throws it away. Now me being age 8 or 9, whenever I read it, I knew Kristy was being a huge bitch and I couldn’t comprehend why she would do such a thing like that. Well Claudia’s pissed beyond all reason now and Kristy begins to feel her wrath. Claudia now demands another truce between the two so they stare at Claudia, then each other, and then they shake hands. Peace at last, peace at last, god almighty peace at last. The only sound in the room is the silence of the girls, and the sounds of the crappy murder mystery that’s on in the background. Dawn finally ventures out and asks Kristy if she’s seen a rated R movie. She says no but plans to one day and then asks Dawn if she’s ever seen one. She says no, but her brother has seen one and said it was no big deal. Um what movie was this? And more importantly, how did a nine year old accidentally see an R rated movie? Kristy seems disappointed by this news. Dawn says one day they’ll see one and they’ll say it’s no big deal too.

Claudia screams from the bathroom that she found more free stuff, Dawn jumps up to go see, but Kristy stops her and gives her a real apology. She apologizes too and all is well in the land of Kristy and Dawn. They go into the bathroom and look at all the free stuff and I believe on that page is an illustration photograph of the free stuff that looked like it was drawn by an eight year old. Dawn then discovers the tv is sitting on top of a refrigerator and they all freak out and wonder how to get into it, along with the cabinet full of junk food that was next to it. So Kristy calls Watson who immediately finds the key and takes it away from them. They are sad. I’m suspecting that Claudia’s the saddest of them all. Well Kristy then asks if they could go exploring and Watson says yes but only if they are back to change for dinner and take Karen and Andrew with them. Kristy says no problem. So they leave and then find Mr. Staples at the checkout counter. They whine/harass him not to leave, so he doesn’t. Then they all then haul ass back to the room to get dressed in five minutes and then after dinner, they manage to have a BSC meeting. Kristy grilled them for present ideas and no one had any. Well any decent ideas according to Kristy. She then went to bed exhausted. I guess all that bitching really takes it out of you.

Ch 15- Karen
Oh Disney World! Karen’s been dreaming about coming here for forever! Well actually since she saw the tv commercial for it. She went with Watson, Elizabeth and Andrew. Karen of course wanted Kristy to come with, but of course Kristy’s not stupid, she and Claudia went of on their own and David Michael went with Sam and Charlie. Some family vaycay. Anyways they get on the whole bus, monorail deal and are finally at Disney. Karen starts spazzing out, but I honestly can’t blame her for this one because Disney World is awesome. Andrew spazzes when he sees Minnie Mouse and again, I do not hold it against him because once again, Disney World is awesome. Karen wants to go get Minnie’s autograph so she swears up and down to Watson that the two are BFF. Watson gives her an ORLY? look and Karen states that they both know perfectly well that she and Minnie are not BFF. So wait, let me get this straight. Karen blatantly lies, Watson knows it, and lets her get away with it?! *starts to hum theme song to My Super Sweet Sixteen*

Well they go over there and do the hello/snap a picture/can I have your autograph dealio and Karen goes on a head trip that she’ll be famous when she gets back to the Brook because she has Minnie Mouse’s autograph. They then continue along Main Street and Karen fully goes into spaz mode but again, I cannot hold her accountable because Disney World is awesome. They reach Cinderella’s castle and Andrew asks if she lives there. For once, Karen does not know the answer to this! She and Andrew look to Watson who tells them no. Jesus Christ Watson, you’re at fucking Disney! You could have totally humored them and said yes. Way to fucking ruin a Magical Moment. You might as well now tell them that Santa doesn’t exist. Oh and Elizabeth? Stop showing off with words like crenellation.

Karen then immediately wants to go on the Haunted Mansion ride because she is the all knowing all authority on haunted shit. Damn, Ghost Hunters should just hire her ass. Then she can have Steve and the gang double team old Ben Brewer. But back to the ride. She and a whole crowd “ride down in a weird elevator”. I’ve got news for you Karen. Optical Illusion bitch! So they get on the ride and Karen loves it because it’s right up her ghost infested ally. To be perfectly honest with you guys, I hated that ride as a kid, but my sister liked it so my parents always dragged me on it. The part with the head in the crystal ball and the bride at the end always scared the shit out of me. But now that I’m older it does not scare me anymore. I will admit to the bride still creeping me out a little though. But right at that moment where the bride appears is near the end of the ride and that’s where Karen learns about hitchhiking ghosts. She sees the one ghost sitting in her car and screams. Elizabeth tells her that it’s just a hologram but Karen’s all convinced it was real and refuses to believe otherwise. So Watson’s all “let’s go over to Fantasyland because that won’t be scary” and Snow White ends up scaring the crap out of Andrew. He calms down about eighteen rides later and Karen is still convinced that that ghost is following her around because she could feel her skin creeping all afternoon. Or maybe she just took some ex that morning, who really knows.

To be continued...