David says the funniest things. ([info]davywavy) wrote in [info]brits_americans,
@ 2005-07-21 16:42:00
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Breaking News
Londoners 'peeved' by continued bombings, Australians all out for 190.

As London is hit by the second wave of bombings in two weeks, the Government has raised the terror warning level from 'miffed' to 'peeved'. Whilst many people commented with respect at the stoical attitude of Londoners to the first wave of attacks, Londoners are losing their traditional reserve and may soon require the terror level warning to be raised to 'irritated' or even 'a bit cross'.
A government spokesmen commented upon the seriousness of the situation. "London has not been a bit cross since the height of the Blitz in 1940 when supplies of tea ran out for almost three weeks", said a representative of the Security Services. "It is as a mark of the seriousness with which Londoners are taking the situation that we have recently been forced to recategorise suicide bombers from 'tiresome' to 'a bloody nuisance', and the last time we had a 'bloody nuisance' warning level was during the great fire of 1666."
On the streets, Londoners reacted with uncharacteristic anger to news of the latest attacks, with some members of the public reacting with harsh language to the news that they might be delayed on their homeward trips by up to twenty minutes.
"It really is the absolute limit," said Reginald Boggis, 42, of East Ham. "These terrorists. Not content with blowing things up, they then have to spoil the day for everyone. That's just irritating, that is. If they wanted to get things changed, they should write an angry letter to Points of View. That's what my wife and I always do."
Tony Blair is expected to make political capital out of the situation as soon as his focus groups report on the mood of the nation.
In other news, Britain reeled today at the news Australia were all out for 190 runs in the first test. "Good heavens!", said cricket fan Stan Higginbottom. "We showed the Aussies, what for, eh? What's that? More terrorists? Well, that's bloody typical, isn't it?"


Yep, the tube is out again. Looks like I'm walking home tonight.



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[info]slloyd11
2005-07-21 03:45 pm UTC (link)
Sadly it looks like we'll be bowled out for much less.

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[info]davywavy
2005-07-21 03:47 pm UTC (link)
That's typical isn't it?
Tchah.

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[info]unimag
2005-07-22 02:00 pm UTC (link)
It's just not cricket...

oh yes

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[info]laserpubes
2005-07-21 03:45 pm UTC (link)
Hahaha, that's brilliant. Just a shame that the English are now 21-5.

You should post this over at [info]livejournal_uk, i'm sure it'll get a good few laughs.

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[info]slloyd11
2005-07-21 03:51 pm UTC (link)
we've got 39 now. We're coming back into it!

ahem

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[info]forest
2005-07-21 03:48 pm UTC (link)
Rotflmao! Time for a brew folks?

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[info]karnythia
2005-07-21 03:53 pm UTC (link)
Does that mean it's time to resort to coffee? Oh, the horror.

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[info]sumiwumi41
2005-07-21 04:03 pm UTC (link)
I like your icon

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[info]darkerthanthou
2005-07-22 05:28 am UTC (link)
yeah me too

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[info]unimag
2005-07-22 01:58 pm UTC (link)
Coffee is for people who want to feel tense.

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[info]unimag
2005-07-22 01:59 pm UTC (link)
(and commoners)

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[info]fox_c
2005-07-21 03:54 pm UTC (link)
Fantastic post! Forget this minute of silence thing, we should all go have tea in Trafalger Square instead.

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[info]mizzykitty
2005-07-21 03:59 pm UTC (link)
that's brilliant. hey maybe you don't have to walk. supposedly things are to be up again by 5pm.

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[info]lesamalie
2005-07-21 04:00 pm UTC (link)
Hehe.

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[info]cogshiftingman
2005-07-21 04:03 pm UTC (link)
Ha! Excellent.

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[info]winterbadger
2005-07-21 06:04 pm UTC (link)
Very kool icon. Molesworth is my hero. :-)

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[info]token_limey
2005-07-21 07:58 pm UTC (link)
Mine, too.

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[info]elaine4queen
2005-07-22 04:28 pm UTC (link)
ronald searle was on desert island disks last week. he is a honey. and says he stays away from uk cos everyone here just associates him with st trinians. i beg to differ. chiz

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[info]token_limey
2005-07-22 04:39 pm UTC (link)
Yeah, I heard it while driving to one of our other offices. Sadly I didn't get to hear all of it, nor did I get a chance to hear the repeat because that was the repeat and the BBC, for some inexplicable reason, does not provide Desert Island Discs on its website in the "Listen Again" section. All I got to hear was the bit about his experiences as a prisoner of the dastardly Japs during WWII and the truth behind what was glamourised in the movie The Bridge Over The River Kwai. I'd like to have heard more.

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[info]elaine4queen
2005-07-22 04:56 pm UTC (link)
yes, i would have put the link, but discovered the no listen again flaw... spose it's cos of the copywright on the bloody music. i think the POW thing is his big theme, it seems to be the frame through which he sees everything, but not in a stuck way, a - this is my perspective, and it's all because of this - way

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[info]ashfae
2005-07-21 04:06 pm UTC (link)
Ah, so true! =)

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[info]elaine4queen
2005-07-21 04:07 pm UTC (link)
there are some people who go places and knit if anyone is interested...
Castoff <raae@castoff.info>

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[info]joellevand
2005-07-21 06:05 pm UTC (link)
That's brilliant, though you forgot one thing:

When things don't go your way, BURN YOUR TV LICENSE! ;)

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[info]thekumquat
2005-07-21 09:09 pm UTC (link)
As various people have put on my flist today, "Call this terrorism? Irritationism, more like."

Back in the old days we had proper polite terrorists with the manners to phone up Scotland Yard and tell them where the bombs were going to be, so you could plan to circumnavigate the affected areas while they got detonated. These pathetic attacks have just been plain rude.

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[info]unimag
2005-07-22 01:55 am UTC (link)
'course, back in them days none of us were affected by terrorism, what with working 25 hours a day down t'pit.

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[info]thekumquat
2005-07-22 10:58 pm UTC (link)
Down t'pit in the 1980s?

Waving placards and shouting at scabs, more like. Well, that's all they showed on the telly - being a wussy Southerner I never really grasped what a pit was at the time...

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[info]davywavy
2005-07-22 11:01 pm UTC (link)
My brother went for an interview at Canterbury University back during the miners strike. He'd travelled down from Doncaster that morning and was greeted on the station platform by a bunch of students collecting 'for the starving miners'.
"Starving miners? " he said. "I've just come from Yorkshire and they're not starving, they're all fat."

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[info]elaine4queen
2005-07-22 04:29 pm UTC (link)
i know, it makes me sentimental

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[info]incursus
2005-07-21 11:55 pm UTC (link)
LMAO.

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[info]drdeath
2005-07-22 09:46 am UTC (link)
LOL, Very good. I wander if the terrorist realized if they destroyed (or attempt to) or tea trade they would get more of a reaction out of us English?

Just a strange thought.......


BBC.

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[info]unimag
2005-07-22 01:59 pm UTC (link)
The terrorists who later founded the United States certainly did.

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[info]davywavy
2005-07-22 02:02 pm UTC (link)
Silly boy - they were Freedom Fighters. There's a difference, can't you tell?

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[info]drdeath
2005-07-22 02:07 pm UTC (link)
I quite agree, this is home ground as America was another country. LOL, only teasing.

BBC.

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[info]randomchris
2005-07-22 11:05 am UTC (link)
Sir, you are a genius.

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[info]davywavy
2005-07-22 11:15 am UTC (link)
I often tell myself the same thing.

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[info]petal1983
2005-07-27 10:36 am UTC (link)
that, my good sir, is absolutely brilliant!

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