T (![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} liberated_mind) wrote in ![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/community.gif){kind=small} box_of_grease,@ 2004-01-17 02:43:00 |
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The prolifery of this box is exceptional. Unprecedented sales!
EVERY FAT JOBLESS 3 CHINNED NO NECK DOUBLE BELLY CHEESE FAT ASS BITCH in the city came by today for a box of grease! I handled it well at first, but they just kept coming and coming and coming and coming. We made 2 thousand dollars in under 6 hours, with just 5 people on the clock. I started cooking at 10:50 and didnt get a break from it until nearly 2. No matter how much I cooked it wasnt enough because these fat ass slobs with no jobs just kept coming and ordering half the got-dang menu!!!!!
There are several things Id like to know.
First of all, Ive never seen anything sell like that. Whether it be food, animal, mineral, or vegetable.
Ive never seen so many people so gaga over a simple product. And yes, I was working for K-mart during the Tickle-me-Elmo phase, at CHRISTMAS time, and even the the rude abusive soccer moms wanting Elmo for their little suzy werent as gaga over that stuffed animal as they were today for this chemically altered MSG chicken!! You shoulda seen em getting pissed off over it too. It reminded me of when we learned about the 49ers in the 1800s in history class, running to California to find gold! Only in this case, the 49ers were fat lazy house wives in SUVs spending their husbands paycheck on toxic chicken! They were fighting to get in the door, and there were nearly several wrecks in the parking lot, to see who could get their box of grease the fastest! EAT YOU FAT FUCKS! EAT! You think my gold rush comparison is funny? Well, it was just like that! Seriously! Instead of Conestoga wagons, we had SUVs and Vans rushing towards 12th and Alameda!
1) 50% of our customers are middle aged women in vans and SUVs
2) 30% of our customers are old-man-Clyde no younger than 80
3) The remaining 20% of our customers are rude, redneck hillbillies with no job
The prolifery of that box of grease is astonishing. Taking an even closer look, the almighty chicken strip is what us poor KFC employees refer to as none other than "God."
Would someone please tell us what is so great about a got-dang chicken strip??? We sell chicken strips at exponential rates. Are fat, lazy, jobless americans so ... LAZY.. that they cant eat chicken off the bone??? Well, on an average day we will sell 10 chicken strips to every peice of chicken on the bone. 10:1 ratio. INCREDIBLE!!!!!!!!! There are some days the chicken on the bone sits in the window getting cold and hard, while the chicken strips cant be cooked fast enough.
People act like they're the 2nd coming of Jesus Christ. Gold on a rack.
The proper procedure for cooking this trash is 3 racks, no more than 12 strips on a rack. Well, I was cooking them SIXTEEN RACKS at a time today and still barely keeping up!!!!!!!!!
It was so prolific.
Well, I got some interesting news for ya's. We are on our 3rd strike with the health department. We have one week to clean that shit hole up and get rid of the roaches, or else...... GUESS WHAT????????????? I might be out of a job, but it will make my whole life worth it to see all those fat fuckers DENIED of their fried chicken. Thats right.... Norman's east side will not have a KFC. The health department is fixin' to shut us down.
You know what I think? I think when this happens, there will be a town outcry. There will be bloodshed on the grounds of the Cleveland county health department.
Remember MTV's slogan in the 80s? I WANT MY MTV!
Well, when we get shut down next week, the normanites will be in front of the health department screaming: I WANT MY BOX OF GREASE!!
EVERY FAT JOBLESS 3 CHINNED NO NECK DOUBLE BELLY CHEESE FAT ASS BITCH in the city came by today for a box of grease! I handled it well at first, but they just kept coming and coming and coming and coming. We made 2 thousand dollars in under 6 hours, with just 5 people on the clock. I started cooking at 10:50 and didnt get a break from it until nearly 2. No matter how much I cooked it wasnt enough because these fat ass slobs with no jobs just kept coming and ordering half the got-dang menu!!!!!
There are several things Id like to know.
First of all, Ive never seen anything sell like that. Whether it be food, animal, mineral, or vegetable.
Ive never seen so many people so gaga over a simple product. And yes, I was working for K-mart during the Tickle-me-Elmo phase, at CHRISTMAS time, and even the the rude abusive soccer moms wanting Elmo for their little suzy werent as gaga over that stuffed animal as they were today for this chemically altered MSG chicken!! You shoulda seen em getting pissed off over it too. It reminded me of when we learned about the 49ers in the 1800s in history class, running to California to find gold! Only in this case, the 49ers were fat lazy house wives in SUVs spending their husbands paycheck on toxic chicken! They were fighting to get in the door, and there were nearly several wrecks in the parking lot, to see who could get their box of grease the fastest! EAT YOU FAT FUCKS! EAT! You think my gold rush comparison is funny? Well, it was just like that! Seriously! Instead of Conestoga wagons, we had SUVs and Vans rushing towards 12th and Alameda!
1) 50% of our customers are middle aged women in vans and SUVs
2) 30% of our customers are old-man-Clyde no younger than 80
3) The remaining 20% of our customers are rude, redneck hillbillies with no job
The prolifery of that box of grease is astonishing. Taking an even closer look, the almighty chicken strip is what us poor KFC employees refer to as none other than "God."
Would someone please tell us what is so great about a got-dang chicken strip??? We sell chicken strips at exponential rates. Are fat, lazy, jobless americans so ... LAZY.. that they cant eat chicken off the bone??? Well, on an average day we will sell 10 chicken strips to every peice of chicken on the bone. 10:1 ratio. INCREDIBLE!!!!!!!!! There are some days the chicken on the bone sits in the window getting cold and hard, while the chicken strips cant be cooked fast enough.
People act like they're the 2nd coming of Jesus Christ. Gold on a rack.
The proper procedure for cooking this trash is 3 racks, no more than 12 strips on a rack. Well, I was cooking them SIXTEEN RACKS at a time today and still barely keeping up!!!!!!!!!
It was so prolific.
Well, I got some interesting news for ya's. We are on our 3rd strike with the health department. We have one week to clean that shit hole up and get rid of the roaches, or else...... GUESS WHAT????????????? I might be out of a job, but it will make my whole life worth it to see all those fat fuckers DENIED of their fried chicken. Thats right.... Norman's east side will not have a KFC. The health department is fixin' to shut us down.
You know what I think? I think when this happens, there will be a town outcry. There will be bloodshed on the grounds of the Cleveland county health department.
Remember MTV's slogan in the 80s? I WANT MY MTV!
Well, when we get shut down next week, the normanites will be in front of the health department screaming: I WANT MY BOX OF GREASE!!
