booju_newju: Adult clothing/tattoos and subjects in public

singsomelyrical (

singsomelyrical) wrote in

booju_newju,
@ 2007-07-23 08:21:00

Adult clothing/tattoos and subjects in public
I went to Red Lobster to on Sunday to eat with some friends. I wore a tub top, some jeans and flip flops. I get there and it seems like everyone who just got out of church is there in their Sunday best. So I'm there, dressed casually, with visible piercings and a large tattoo of a nude woman on my back. The tattoo isn't sexual but it's suggestive. So I'm eating and my back is to this family. The dad sees my tattoo and the parents start discussing it. Then he decides that his children shouldn't have to look at it so he asks the waitress for another table. I overhear this but I don't say anything. The waitress explains that the tables are full tonight so he has her help them physically turn their tables in a way so they can't see my tattoo. For reference, the kids were about 2, 6 and 11-13-ish. I appreciate the waitress not asking me to move because then I would have probably said something less that polite. But that leds me to this question.

I'm all for politeness in public and I usually don't show my tattoo if there are excessive amounts of children. But should there be rules around when and where adults can show their tattoos if the subject isn't Safe For Work? For that matter, what about shirts with questionable subjects? I've always felt that children shouldn't be purposely exposed to adult material but it annoys me when people expect others who don't have children to live their lives to accommodate those who do. Is there a middle ground?

EDIT: I'm far too lazy to address everyone individually so I'll state here. Honestly, it didn't occur to me until I got there that there might be kids around. I don't think about kids 'cause I don't have them. *Shrugs* And I'm not upset about not showing the tattoo because I don't show it at work or at church. And I don't mind if people discuss it. I wouldn't show it off ever if that was a problem. I was looking for practical advice more than "OMG THAT'S SO NASTY! RED LOBSTER IS A HOLY SACRED PLACE!" God forbid your children see a titty besides your own. *Rolls eyes* Anyway, a friend basically gave me the answer I was looking for offline. She said, "After 8 is adult time. Dress how you feel and how you want and if there are kids there that late, then it's up to the parents to explain it. But before 8 o'clock or anytime you know there will be kids, you should be a bit more discrete." I like that advice. I think I'll take it.

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jessy1019
2007-07-23 12:37 pm UTC (link)

"But should there be rules around when and where adults can show their tattoos if the subject isn't Safe For Work? For that matter, what about shirts with questionable subjects?"

FUCK no, there shouldn't be rules like that. People should be able to wear whatever they want, whenever and wherever they want. Same goes for bodyart . . . show it off if you want to! That's why you have it, right?

People are way too uptight about what their kids can and can't be exposed to.

There shouldn't have to be a middle ground. People should just remove the sticks from their arses.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

	silveredmadness 2007-07-23 04:39 pm UTC (link)
	OMG. SOMEONE TAKE A SCREENSHOT. This is me agreeing with jessy!! (Reply to this) (Parent)

	feel_real_love 2007-07-23 12:38 pm UTC (link)
	For gods sake it was only a tatoo its not like you were making them watch porn. Some people must have pretty dull lives if they have to make drama when there isnt any. (Reply to this)

	pester 2007-07-23 12:40 pm UTC (link)
	It's tasteless to wear shirts that aren't SFW. It's tasteless to have a tattoo that's not SFW. And if one must have an obscene tattoo, it's extremely tasteless to expose it in public. And everyone who doesn't have children should indeed live their lives in part to acocomodate the needs of children. Children are a societal undertaking, not an eccentric hobby. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	wankle 2007-07-23 01:54 pm UTC (link)
	"And everyone who doesn't have children should indeed live their lives in part to acocomodate the needs of children" No, sorry, I might live for the needs of my children, but not yours. And in this case, the person was being asked to accomodate the needs of the parents, not the children. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	tarrbaby 2007-07-23 12:49 pm UTC (link)
	The parents were rude. If it had been me and I didn't want my kids to see your tattoo I would have quietly sat my kids on the side where you were less visible. and kept them distracted. You can't control what people wear. (Reply to this)

	peachthief 2007-07-23 12:59 pm UTC (link)
	On the one hand, it's a bit crude to have an exposed NSFW tattoo in public. On the other hand, hey - that's life. Parents can't expect that their children will never be exposed to something questionable. I think the parents in question behaved very immaturely. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	aelf 2007-07-23 01:22 pm UTC (link)
	I don't understand how the parents behaved immaturely. They didn't throw a tantrum, didn't demand the OP do anything. It sounds as if they didn't want their children to see the tattoo and worked with the waitstaff to find a reasonable solution. I can't identify the immature part. (Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

	merlyn4401 2007-07-23 12:59 pm UTC (link)
	Well, you can wear a tube top and expose your suggestive tat, but then you have to realize that you are going to have to deal with parents who don't want their kids to see it. You don't want the flak, cover up. (Reply to this)

	simplifying 2007-07-23 01:01 pm UTC (link)
	I think the person with the graphic tattoo or shirt should be held responsible for who sees it. On the other hand, I think the father making such a big deal about it only made things worse. I don't know what the middle ground should be. Maybe the person wearing the graphic image could carry around a large sign that says "NSFW". :) Please unlock this post. Thanks. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	singsomelyrical 2007-07-23 01:04 pm UTC (link)
	Sorry about the locked post. My journal locks things by default. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	kid_a_85 2007-07-23 05:19 pm UTC (link)
	IAWTC. Yeah, it sucks to censor, but she did say she cares about not letting kids see adult material. Red Lobster is typically a family restaurant. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	maylea_moon 2007-07-23 01:23 pm UTC (link)
	eh, whatever. they didn't make you move so i don't see the big deal. i wouldn't care if my son saw someone's naked lady tattoo though. (Reply to this)

	OT Comment re: icon fireyirishangel 2007-07-23 02:09 pm UTC (link)
	You win. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	nothingmuch 2007-07-23 01:46 pm UTC (link)
	I think you were lucky they didn't ask you to move or leave. It's totally up to the restaurant management/staff to decide what's appropriate and what isn't. I'm not sure what else to say... It probably would've been more comfortable for both you and the other family if you'd worn a jacket or shirt over your tat. :/ (Reply to this)

	unconformed 2007-07-23 01:59 pm UTC (link)
	I would be very annoyed if my kids were exposed to a racist/sexist/homophobic tattoo or t-shirt. And I would explain to them at length what an idiot the person wearing it was. But a naked lady? I couldn't care less. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	kriskoekk 2007-07-23 02:39 pm UTC (link)
	Could a tatoo of a naked lady be seen as sexist? (I don't know anything about the specific tatoo in question, but most of the ones I've seen are pretty damn sexist.) (Reply to this) (Parent)

	katellis 2007-07-23 02:03 pm UTC (link)
	sure, people can wear nsfw clothing and show nsfw tattoos in public. ill just teach my kids that those people are trashy and probably idiots. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	bestdaywelived 2007-07-23 02:24 pm UTC (link)
	And your children will grow up to be judgemental assholes. (Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

	bestdaywelived 2007-07-23 02:23 pm UTC (link)
	I don't think that there should be rules. Your body art is yours to show off when you want to. They can always move. I find it ridiculous that female nudity is somehow wrong, but that's another debate. (Reply to this)

	greatestislove 2007-07-23 02:48 pm UTC (link)
	I was in the grocery store the other day and saw a tattoo on a mans arm of a woman fingering herself. I really really hate having to confront that kind of stuff so unexpectedly. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	pester 2007-07-23 02:59 pm UTC (link)
	Someday you and I will move together to Kiryas Joel, okay? We'll just give up on that be-in-the-world-not-of-the-world stuff. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	breakableheart 2007-07-23 03:14 pm UTC (link)
	I'm of the opinion that a tube top is not appropriate garb for anywhere but the beach or your own back-yard. Unless you wear a cute little shirt over it. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	qweerdo 2007-07-23 03:27 pm UTC (link)
	Tube tops, like spandex, are a "privilege", not a "right". (Reply to this) (Parent)

	hermionesmum 2007-07-23 03:27 pm UTC (link)
	I'd say it's up to the restaurant to have a dress code or not, and to enforce it. I think the man at the table beside you was incredibly rude to be so be so visibly offended. He could have taken his family elsewhere if he was offended. (Reply to this)

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	sunkist33 2007-07-23 03:50 pm UTC (link)
	P.S. I'd take a nude tattoo over a tasmanian devil any day... (Reply to this)

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