booju_newju

If you are a member of a non-Christian religion, would you celebrate Christmas with your kids? What aspects of the holiday would you keep? Would you get a tree? Give presents? Let your children believe in Santa? If you do NOT celebrate Christmas, how do you explain to your child that their friends get to put up trees and Santa visits them, but they don't? How do you explain the differences between your own religion's holidays and Christmas? Would your answer change if you do not practice ANY religion?

Personal Experience:
I was raised Hindu, but as a kid, I would BEG and BEG for a tree to put gifts under, just like all the other kids. My dad would very unwillingly go out to the tree lot on Dec. 23 and find the least expensive tree he could. It was literally the Charlie Brown tree (twig with needles), and we would decorate it. Our mother was more accommodating, buying decorations, wrapping the gifts and signing them "From Santa", even though she had spilled the beans to me herself when I was 8.

Now that I have a son of my own, and want to pass on my own culture, I find myself identifying with my father's attitude of "Why do we need a Christmas tree? We're not Christians, we're Hindus, and you all got new clothes on Diwali two months ago!" I'm thinking about making Diwali a VERY BIG DEAL with lots of gifts and decorations and sweets and lights for everyone. Also, I would tell my kids that "Gifts come from God. He tells Santa to give them to the Christian kids at Christmas, and he tells Mamma and Papa to give them to the Hindu kids at Diwali." One person I know would put up a tree in the living room, but the gifts would be placed at the family's altar on Christmas morning.

To be fair, my favorite Christmas carols as an adult are still "Silent Night", and "Hark the Herald Angels Sing", more because of their beautiful melodies than any particular religious feeling I get from them.

Would you ever rent a room in your house to a man that you and your teen daughter both had the hots for?

If you did, and he showed more interest in her than you, would you kick him out or her?

Inspired by my adorable downstairs neighbor, five-year-old Ellie:

Would you allow your small child (say, 8 and under) to see a movie in which a character dies, if you know beforehand that that character shares a name with said small child? If your answer is "depends," on what does it depend?

You and your family are invited to a new friend's house for dinner. You're not religious, or of a different religion than this new friend. Would you allow your children to participate in grace, prayers before dinner, or any other religious activities (reading from the holy book, etc) at your new friend's house to be polite? Would you show respect, but not participate (bow your heads, be quiet during the readings, hold hands during the prayer at dinner)? Would you get up, remove your children, and go to another room while the religious activities were going on?

Inspired by friends we had when I was a child who were very, very evangelically Christian and did a lot of the religious activities I listed above.

Edit: What if this was your house, and your new friends wanted to say grace or read from their holy book at dinner?

Your ten year old child comes home one day and is freaking out. You ask what's wrong, and they go into this kinda long story that sums up to they stole something from a weird oldish lady on the same block as the school on a dare, and they old lady caught them and then gave them a curse, and said they are gonna go to hell. You try to brush it off and tell them that it'll be alright, she was just trying to scare them.
A couple days go by and your child claims to hear voices and is getting random bruises from no where, and the teacher at school has sent them home both days for freaking the fuck out in class and scaring the other children. They insist they are gonna die and want you to help them.

What would you do?
Why?

So a controversial case finished recently here. What happened was a woman walked into the local Walmart, gave birth, left the baby in the toilet and walked out.

To give more details, she claims she didn't know she was pregnant (even though she took 3 home pregnancy tests over the course of the pregnancy) and she thought the baby was dead (it wasn't; she also covered it up with toilet paper).

Anyway, she was found not guilty of child abandonment on the grounds she thought she was leaving behind a dead child, and it doesn't count if she thought it was dead. She now gets visitation rights, and in the couple of years since the incident has had another child and is pregnant again. More details on the case here.

So, booj - here's my questions!

1. Do you think the verdict was appropriate?

2. Do you think she should still have visitation rights with the baby?

My answers!

1. Christ, no! She knew she did something wrong. She tried to cover the baby up with toilet paper!

2. Yeah, because that isn't going to fuck the kid up any more! Your mama left you in a toilet but she loves you now that she knows you're really alive!

Your older child (between 10 and 12) technically dies in the hospital. The staff is able to resuscitate him or her and he or she looks at you, coherent, and says, "God told me I could come back to hug you and say good-bye."

How do you react in that exact moment? Do you think you would ever hug your child again?

Hahaha: based on something that actually happened to my mom.

Your mid-teens (14-16) child is soon to convert to a religion with dietary restrictions that are different at least from those you may observe or has become vegetarian or vegan while the rest of the family are omnivores, or vice versa.   Either way, they want to be eating a bit differently from the rest of the family.

You have no real objection to their new beliefs and  - based on past experience with your kid - you think those beliefs aren't likely to change for years, if ever.  You're  also satisfied  they've educated themselves on what they'll need to do to eat a balanced diet.  How far do you go to accommodate  them?   Not at all?  See that among the dishes you're cooking there are options for them to have a complete meal?  Buy the food, but they'll need to cook it?

You are a widow/widower with sole custody of your young daughters. After careful consideration, you begin dating again. On one such date, all is going well. You two are getting along famously, and s/he seems like someone you'd definitely like to see again. However, at one point during your date, you look over and see your youngest child - a sprightly kindergarten-aged girl - sitting at an adjacent table with her "date" (i.e., her best friend from school). Apparently the two swindled their way into the car earlier that evening.

How do you react? Do you feel disciplinary measures are appropriate? Would you try to find your child's underlying motive(s)? etc.

I love this show so I figured, why not?

You and your spouse have two teenage daughters. The oldest one passes away very suddenly and your family goes through the process of grieving. Your younger daughter (15-16) seems to do all right for awhile, as she is seeing a psychologist. Then, one day, your spouse (the sole provider) announces that s/he's just received a major promotion in his/her career, but it will involve moving to another city. Your surviving daughter becomes very upset. She declares that she is not moving and, when moving day hits, attempts to run away with a man she barely knows. Even if you get her back, she remains angry and will not speak to either yourself or your husband. When she does speak, she is sarcastic and combative. She maintains that she will not move with you. You are certain she may attempt to run away again if she is not constantly supervised.

Do you still take the promotion anyway or decline it for her sake? Or would you consider having your spouse move and send paychecks home while you kept a certain house? What if your spouse were adamant that your family move together to this new location? What if it were a promotion that could not simply be declined?

How would you feel if your child started dating and/or was going to marry someone of another religion?
If they were to convert to their partner's religion?
In the case of dating, if your child were under eighteen, what would you do?

Mother of 555-Pound Boy Speaks Out


Teal deer version: DSS removes 555 lb 14 year old boy from mother's care, claiming she disregarded instructions to seek weight control services for him. Mother and lawyers claim 1. Mother did not have money for said programs and 2. Programs she was referred to were not set up to handle individuals of son's size. Claims he got to be that size because she works fulltime 2nd and 3rd shifts and would "sometimes" have to buy fast food when she needed to sleep between shifts.

So: Was DSS correct in removing this kid from his home? Is this child abuse? Neglect? Endangerment? Should DSS have offered more support beyond handing mom a list of local Weight Watchers offices? Should mom have locked up the cupboards and refrigerator while she was at work?

What says the ALMIGHTY BOOJ?
 
(my answer in comments)

You have a grown child, who is under 25. You also have a younger child who is older than 5, but younger than 10.

The older child falls into the LGBTQ spectrum. You know this, and all is good.
The older child is coming home to visit, and is bringing their SO, who also falls into the LGBTQ spectrum.

Do you tell the younger child about their older sibling, or is the older child and their SO "just friends?"

If the older child is trans, is this age too young to tell them?

Your under eighteen child has an online friend. They've been friends for a few years now and are very close, close enough that your child considers this friend on of their very best friends. They share videos, have had phone conversations many times, you've even chatted with them over the phone before. You know the friend's name, and family's names, and your child sends them cards and presents for the holidays, and vice versa. An all around good strong friendship that just happens to be over the internet.
Life happens, and this friend dies. Your child wants to go to the funeral very much, and the friend's family wants your child there as well. While you can afford to send your child, due to finacial situations, you couldn't afford to send someone with your child. This would be the first time your child has met any of these people in real life.

Do you send your child? Make them stay home? If you make them stay home, how do you tell them they can't go to one of their best friend's funeral?

Imagine that you are the sole source of financial support for yourself, spouse and two kids. One day you find yourself without a job. Your savings has run out, and you're almost out of food. Your partner - who is not the biological parent to your children - suggests that you take the kids out to the woods near your house and leave them there, so that there will be more food for you.

What would bother you the most about this situation?
a) the fact that your partner asked this of you
b) finding out that he or she had a house made of candy and baked goods in the center of the woods, and was planning on fattening up the kids and eating them
c) my use of the word "fatten," because it's triggering

Scenario: you have a child who struggles in math, enough so that by grade four, they're on an IEP for it. One of the accommodations the spec ed teacher wants to put in place is to make sure your child has full-time access to a calculator during math. However, the classroom teacher isn't convinced; she has been known to take the calculator away and insist that children do some activities with paper and pencil or from memory.

Where do you fall? Are calculators a valuable tool for kids to learn math? Are they a crutch? Is it a little from column A and a little from column B? What is the role of calculators in an elementary classroom? (I'm pretty sure we can all agree that calculators in high school are valuable, but if not, say so!)

( My answers )

Let's say your 14 year old is an enthusiastic fan of a certain tv show. At first, they just watch every episode. Over time, they begin to join online forums dedicated to the show. They also create fan art and write fan fiction. It seems like the show is all they want to talk about. In fact, you notice that they aren't spending as much time with their friends lately- they'd rather chat about the show online. Their grades are the same, but their teacher mentioned that your child is often caught writing fan fiction in class instead of working on their assignments.

Do you think that someone can be too much of a fan?

If so, where do you draw the line?

Would you take any action?

If yes, what would you do?

http://www.thelocal.se/20232/20090623/

"Pop’s parents ..., both 24, made a decision when their baby was born to keep Pop’s sex a secret. Aside from a select few – those who have changed the child’s diaper – nobody knows Pop’s gender; if anyone enquires, Pop’s parents simply say they don’t disclose this information. "

Good move? Bad idea?

If your teen (under 18) wanted to be featured on an MTV reality show, would you give consent? Would it matter if it was something like True Life: I'm Going to Harvard as opposed to something like Engaged & Underaged, or Sixteen & Pregnant? If you allowed it, would you give them rules (such as, no skimpy clothes on camera, or no making the family look bad, etc.)?

What do you feel is CPS worthy?
Would you be more likely or less likely to call CPS over a stranger or a close friend/loved one?