invite yourself to guessimaracist on AIM

my screenname is rufuschakakhan should you have questions

Jet Li or Jackie Chan?

NFL player Chris Henry, 26 years old, died early this morning from severe head injuries after falling from the bed of a moving truck yesterday afternoon.

Henry reportedly jumped into the back of the truck when his fiancé, 25 year old Loleini Tonga left her parent’s home in North Carolina after she and Henry got into a “domestic dispute.” Police did not see any visible injuries to Tonga.

One 911 caller told police a man was banging on the back window of the truck, shirtless, his arm in a cast (he broke it in November).

Minutes later, another call to 911 reported what appeared to be a dead man in the street.

TMZ reports that just hours before the truck incident, Tonga was on her MySpace page “bragging” about her engagement to Henry:

“put deposIt down 4 weDDing piCs… Paid 4 ouR riNgs.”

News of Chris Henry’s death- and the circumstances around it, has inspired an exacerbated response by the public- particularly African Americans. Comments news articles, Twitter and Facebook show that many people feel Henry’s death of senseless, borderline stupid- and that “drama” is to blame.

Though none of us really knows Henry or Tonga, or what their relationship was like- the information to date would suggest people are right- drama strikes again.

As a relationship counselor, I see it all the time- relationships between men and women (of all races, but right now we’re just talking about Black people/people of color) that thrive off drama- not love. These relationships either come to messy ends, or they last for many years, or they last forever- it depends on the people in it.

The emotions around “drama” can be addicting- they provide a type of emotional high- and also an emotional low, which people actually, truly become addicted to.

Chris Brown and RiRi- drama addiction.

Bobby and Whitney- drama addiction.

Some people get it in their heads that a relationship must have drama- that it’s not real without it- people actually think that drama is good for a relationship. Some people also mistake drama for “passion.”

Total crap. Drama is not passion and drama is never good in a relationship. While Tonga and Henry were young, drama happens in relationships of all ages, young and old. That said, age and maturity does have a lot to do with how a person handles drama when it comes their way.

In relationships we attract reflections of ourselves – so if “blame” falls in this situation, it falls equally on both- she stomped out and drove off mad- he jumped in the bed of the truck, she didn’t stop the car, he stoked the adrenaline by screaming at her and banging on the window, and so on, and so on, and so on.

They were feeding off of each other’s need for drama. Clearly one was not more mature than the other because no one was level headed enough to stop and think for a moment- to take a wise, responsible step.

A mature man knows, even when he woman is saying “it’s over, I’m leaving you,” that chasing her down is not the smarter move. A mature man knows when a woman is so upset that she can’t rationally hear anything he has to say.

A mature woman knows when a situation has gotten out of control. A mature woman knows when to set herself aside and act in the best interest of both parties.

Mature men and women love and care about each other enough to take a time out from a disagreement and “get centered” again.

When drama takes over, it’s like a California wildfire, consuming everything in it’s path. Each time a couple strikes the drama match, the burn pattern eats away more rationality than before, escalating the danger.

Now a young man is dead. And for what?

Personally, I’m disgusted by this sad situation, but I hope it serves as a reminder to all of us, when we see drama in our midst, take that guy or gal aside and give them a bit of relationship wisdom.

Chris Henry is gone now- he’ll never marry, never play football again, and never celebrate another holiday season with family.

And for what? Drama.


http://thefreshxpress.com/2009/12/love-or-drama-the-death-of-chris-henry/

Mom says he got drunk, stole girl's dress because he 'wants to go to jail'

CHATTANOOGA, Tenn. - Tennessee investigators say a 4-year-old boy was found roaming his neighborhood in the night, drinking beer and wearing a little girl's dress taken from under a neighbor's Christmas tree.

The child's mother, 21-year-old April Wright, told WTVC-TV that the boy "wants to go to jail because that's where his daddy is."

Wright said she and the boy's father are going though a divorce.

The boy, found outside his house in Chattanooga on Tuesday, was taken to a hospital and treated for alcohol consumption.

Hamilton County Sheriff's Department spokeswoman Janice Atkinson said the incident is being investigated but the department declined to release the report.

The boy's mother said she met with child protective services and was told she will get to keep custody of her son.

Is it wrong that i'm slowly backing away from our President on Health Care...and Afghanistan?

Afghanistan was a tough decision for him, i don't even fault him for it. The media likes to forget that Bush ignored it for 7 years financially and troop wise for his misadventure in Iraq. I totally get his decision there. Is it what i would have liked? Of course not, but that's why he's the President.

Health Care totally different story. He started in the position of compromise. Single Payer was never on the table, voting for this by reconciliation was never on the table, and importing cheaper drugs was never seriously considered. Now the senate, thanks to joe lieberman and not wanting to vote by reconciliation, is about to push through a bill that allows insurance companies to compete w/ each other for customers(the same companies that got us here in the first place)...and the customers have to buy into an insurance plan from somewhere otherwise you'll be fined. So the senate is basically gift-wrapping the insurance companies every american citizen to them, and this is supposed to be a good thing? I don't even think the President believes himself when he's saying that this is a good bill. How can he? W/o the public option the insurance companies and drug companies just got everything they wanted.

I don't even want to talk about Joe Lieberman, Ben Nelson, or the Democratic Party anymore. That story has gotten really old.

I'm actually mad that they wasted an undercover cop on this.

The Non-Bootleg Version:

This came up in another forum of mine because of the little boy who drew the crucifix in school, I'd like to hear BF opinions: how young is too young for children to be in church?

I'm not a religious person and I freely admit I'm biased, the idea of babies who can't even see R-rated movies being exposed to Bloody Tortured Man on Cross really bothers me, always has. And I would think that telling little kids that the poor dude with the nails through his hands and feet died for their sins is a recipe for Instant Serial Killer or at least a lifetime of useless guilt. Nor do I see the point in making a rambunctious 3 yr old sit through a sermon, that's just torment for all concerned to me. But that's just my agnostic, slightly hippie opinion, thoughts?

EDIT: let me add that I definitely realize the many positives that Church can teach young children and that there are programs just for them that don't focus on the more frightening aspects :) My questions still stand: when do you feel kids be introduced to it all?

What are some things you like to collect?

Because there's just too much Twilight sh*t out there and it's making me nauseous.

Taunton Mayor Charles Crowley called School Superintendent Julie Hackett from his vacation today and asked her to apologize both privately and publicly to the family of an 8-year-old special needs student sent home from school and ordered to undergo psychological testing after drawing a stick-figure picture of Jesus Christ nailed to the cross.

“Mayor Crowley’s sentiments were that he would hope Dr. Hackett would meet with the family today, apologize, make a public apology on behalf of the school department, pay for the psychiatrist and come up with a policy to make sure this never happens in our school system again,” said Crowley’s assistant Todd Castro.( Read more... )

Source

ETA: So it appears that the teacher was concerned because the student had identified himself as the one being on the cross, not Jesus. And the officials are denying that the boy was ever suspended in the first place. Adding to the fun, the father is asking for a 'small lump sum'.

Im currently taking a course in cultural diversity. For one of my discussion questions I was asked, "How do you think slavery influenced the evolution of both Black and White America today? How has this evolution affected other cultural groups?"

I thought this would be a great topic to bring here. I would love to see the responses from you great intellectuals!!

Ladies, if you've been looking for a place to dance that won't cost you an arm & a leg...

HipQuake is for you. Classes are in Chicago, Matteson, & Country Club Hills.
Just added to the new year roster: Cardio Samba, AfroRobics & Power Yoga.
Why yes we still have Belly Danc Fittness!

Please note, AfroRobics & Power Yoga are co-ed classes.

Keep them pounds off & stay in shape through dance.

check out HipQuake online & contact
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Tell her Zahrah sent ya!

I decided to make CDs for my parents as Christmas this year. I want to find some really cool podcasts for them. I have some things from This American Life, Radio Lab that they might like. But I'd love some suggestions on things older people might like.

My mom is more into current events, especially globalization. She's a retired educator and wants to start her own business.

My dad is more laid back, he's interested in sports and jazz as well as other aspects of African American culture. He likes talk radio programs like Tom Joiner etc.

They're both financially savvy and know a lot about investing and such.

Someone from Blackfolk introduced me to the genius of Radio Lab, so I'm really eager to hear what you guys are listening to - even if they aren't geared toward old people.

Thanks!

Who's there?

And for a related question: Whose voice are you absolutely in love with? Because I was just reminded that I have a voice-crush on Shawn Stockman.

http://www.womanist-musings.com/2009/12/7-year-old-gets-hair-cut-by-teacher-as.html

This is stabilicious on levels...

Grown in Detroit documentary trailer


Just imagine... Teen moms becoming urban farmers. Utopia? Not in Detroit!
Nature is taking over the city and the new generation is taught to harvest its profit.

The award winning documentary by Dutch filmmakers Mascha & Manfred Poppenk, cinematography by Suzan van Steenwijk


www.grownindetroitmovie.com

Have you ever dated someone of a different ethnicity and they lived up to their sterotype?

Who else watched last night's season finale? I'm still in shock over the biggest shock this series has ever had.

Jennifer Hudson, "I'll Be Home for Chritsmas"
Monday, December 14 at 8pm on ABC (WATCH IT)

Jennifer embarks on a journey through her hometown (Chicago, IL), revisiting some of her favorite spots including an old school and church. She will be performing holiday classics: Silent Night, Let It Snow, The Christmas Song and O Holy Night.



I still cant believe she has a baby and married engaged to Punk from I Love New York lol, she says she plans to spoil her baby boy for his first christmas.

With the Obamas at the White House--Who's watching?

The Jackson Brothers reality tv series airs tonight, will you watch it?

Behind the headlines lies a captivating family, whose lives have been unwillingly played out before cameras for decades. After 40 years in the business together, Jackie, Tito, Jermaine & Marlon have sold more than 250 million albums worldwide. Now, the brothers allow unprecedented access into their world as they record new material and rehearse for a concert celebrating the 40th anniversary of The Jackson Five.

Do anyone think the bros are cashing in on Michael Jackson death as so many have? they were under the radar for years and no one was interested in them until now, just saying. The link below is a very distinctive interactive website with all the details, including photos, videos, behind the scenes, discussion, etc.

http://tiny.cc/JacksonBrothers

ETA: I watched parts of the second ep, it starts out with footage of Michaels funeral and the bros speaking on his death tears and all, also the ET interviewer ask Jermaine how does he feel about people saying that they are cashing in on MJ death. Jermaine answers "how can they cash in on what they created because they are part of J5", he also mentioned they are doing this as a tribute to Michael so the question arise in my mind again of the timing for airing this as a spin off from Michael death *shrugs*

Check out this MAGAZINE SCAN of singer/actress Christina Milian and her husband The Dream in their wedding photo from earlier this year.

The duo were married back in September and had two ceremonies (one in Rome and the other in Vegas). According to the article, they will have another ceremony in 2010 and are expecting their first child together in February.

http://concreteloop.com/2009/12/round-the-way-cmili-the-dreams-wedding-photo

The opening scenes of Disney's "The Princess and the Frog" are like a cool shower after a long and sweaty day. This is what classic animation once was like! No 3-D! No glasses! No extra ticket charge! No frantic frenzies of meaningless action! And . . . good gravy! A story! Characters! A plot! It's set in a particular time and place! And it uses (calm me down here) lovingly hand-drawn animation that proceeds at a human pace, instead of racing with odd smoothness. I'm just gonna stand here and let it pour over me.

The movie, which is sweet and entertaining, doesn't quite live up to those opening scenes. But it's a demonstration that the Walt Disney Studio still shelters animators who know how to make a movie like that, in an age when too many animated films are like fast food after memories of mom's pot roast. My guess is that afterward the poor kids won't feel quite so battered by input overload. The film dances on the screen and doesn't come into the audience and shake you to make you like it.

The story is set mostly in an African-American community in New Orleans, America's most piquant city, before and after World War I. We meet a young girl named Tiana, who is cherished by her mother Eudora (voice of Oprah Winfrey) and father James (Terrence Howard). Her mom is a seamstress, her dad a hard-working restaurant owner who stirs up a mighty gumbo. He goes off to the Army and doesn't return. For Tiana as an adult (Anika Noni Rose) life is a struggle, but she holds fast to her dream of opening a restaurant and serving up her dad's gumbo (with just a soupcon more red sauce).

This is all shown in flowing, atmospheric animation and acted with fetching voices, but the songs by Randy Newman are -- I dunno, do you think he's getting sort of Randy Newmaned out? And the absence of a couple of terrific musical numbers is noticeable, I think, although younger viewers will probably be drawn into the story.

You've heard it before. A princess kisses a frog, and it turns into a handsome Prince Charming. But what if instead she turns into a frog? (Spoiler: That's what happens. ) So now Tiana and the visiting Prince Naveen of Malvonia (Bruno Campos) are both amphibians, although, of course, they retain all of their moral principles and do not perform that act of which frogs are more fond than anything apart from croaking and eating flies.

They're captives of a spell cast by the evil voodoo villain Dr. Facilier (Keith David). But life in the swamp is enlivened by two friends, Louis (Michael-Leon Wooley), an alligator who plays jazz saxophone, and Ray (Jim Cummings), a firefly who fills the Jiminy Cricket slot. They seek the occult Mama Odie (Jenifer Lewis), who may have the power to offset Facilier, and whether Tiana and Prince Naveen are restored and settle down to happy lives of slurping gumbo, I will leave for you to discover.

It is notable that this is Disney's first animated feature since "Song of the South" (1946) to feature African-American characters, and if the studio really never is going to release that film on DVD, which seems more innocent by the day, perhaps they could have lifted "Zip-a-dee Doo-Dah" from it and plugged that song in here. Though the principal characters are all black (other than the rich man Big Daddy and the Prince, who is of undetermined ethnicity), race is not an issue because Disney adroitly sidesteps all the realities of being a poor girl in New Orleans in the early 1920s. Just as well, I suppose.

"The Princess and the Frog" inspires memories of Disney's Golden Age it doesn't quite live up to, as I've said, but it's spritely and high-spirited, and will allow kids to enjoy it without visually assaulting them.

RATING: THREE STARS



http://rogerebert.suntimes.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20091209/REVIEWS/912099996






really really wanna see this movie

Now I've never been one for serious cooking/baking. Delivery and takeout are my very good friends. But for some reason, now that I have a lot a free time, I really really want to start cooking and baking things. I'm going to start off slow with some holiday cupcakes and cookies. I was thinking of doing chocolate peppermint cupcakes, candy-cane cupcakes and sugar-cookies decorated with holiday themes, And for some more experiments in the kitchen, I'm also going to try, and see if I can do a caramel-eggnog cupcake, eggnog flavored batter and frosting and a caramel center. Anybody have good recipes or other baked goods ideas? Thanks!!!

In the next week or so, The Man and I are going to Pet Smart to by Biddie, our dog, her presents from Santa Paws. She usually gets toys and treats. She doesn't do the dress up thing. She likes toys that make noise, and she likes to remove their noisemakers from them much like a fighter does on Mortal Kombat. Her "baby hearts" are her trophies and she likes to make them sound off too.

Do any of you get your pets presents for Xmas? If so, what are you going to get them this year?


ETA--Last year, Pet Smart offered pictures with Santa Paws. I don't think Biddie's the posing with Santa type. She's not comfortable around folks she doesn't know. She once bit the vet in the lip, so, yeah, naw. Not doing that.