The VIP Room

Sat, 26 Jul 2008 05:43:42 GMT

I am nodrunk.

there is nothing wrong with my singing.

It was hot when you swept me over the threshold. Hotterwhen you kikissed me.

Tha slap on the rump means bedI know.

i could have...have danced wi you all night.

Some days turn out okay

Fri, 25 Jul 2008 10:51:54 GMT

Yesterday went from freaky, to a little nerve-wracking to something...well something personal.

I'm glad you let me in, again. It was strange reliving all that shit as if it had just happened, but I'm glad you did. Now I just hope you are too. It sort of puts everything in perspective. We can have a complete past and then move forward with a solid future. (How's that for waxing philosophical?)

Although we have to start the weekend with me getting zapped, after that we have the entire weekend to just enjoy each other and, yes, even hanging out in the Pitts. We haven't done that in a while.

I thought Michael's squeal of enthusiasm would permanently damage my hearing in my right ear. I'm just glad that I'm not the one telling Emmett.

JR will spend the weekend with Deb, which should help me get back in her good graces (as well as lunch today), since I orchestrated it.

I'll let you sleep a little longer, Sunshine, but we have to get to the dear old treatment center soon. I'm making our energy teas and put the pills and cream in my laptop bag.

We're partners in everything - don't forget

Thu, 24 Jul 2008 11:25:58 GMT

Justin, You must know by now that I think of you as an equal partner in this relationship. (Yes, I use the "r" word easily now because of you.)

Last night was intense and amazing and sometimes it's just what I need -- not often.

I looked at the fog lifting from over the lake. It's beautiful, and then I look at you and think about how I got here and it still fucking puts me in shock sometimes.

How did we get here? More incredible, how did I get here?

Maybe I should ask the doc this morning after you take your whack I searching into the past. Today might be one of those "break through" days. I have to admit that when you're under and start remembering things your smile lets me know how the memory is impacting you. It somehow makes remembering that night a bit easier for me.

We should probably let the doc know all the shit that took place with the PIFA project, too.

Then it's back to work for both of us. If you can join me, I want to go to the diner for lunch. Deb will be there and Michael's whining that she's pissed at us for not being around.

Manly

Thu, 24 Jul 2008 03:02:09 GMT

Thanks for wearing the handcuffs for me.

I feel very manly now.

Time to sleep!

Thunderstorms

Wed, 23 Jul 2008 10:32:21 GMT

I hate thunderstorms. They're like nuisance alarm clocks that wake of those of us who don't sleep soundly.

I'm glad we had our time at the beach. It seemed to make both of us feel a lot better. I'll have to give Gena a bonus for that one.

Dusty said he wants to spend some "quality time" with Gus, so I think I'll give Gena the entire weekend off. What do you say?

Today we'll go full speed ahead on the PIFA project. I nearly laughed my ass off when the university's president said that he hoped we'd feature some of their more well-renowned graduates and while he included you and Murph, he didn't mention the fiddler. That was a definite highlight of an otherwise very tedious and (initially) aggravating meeting.

The ground-breaking for construction is the day after labor day, September 2nd, so I'm glad it was unanimous that the festivities be held on September 1st. The gallery opening will be at noon(ish) and the dinner-dance fundraiser will begin at 7 PM. I'm sure some of my biggest clients will be more than happy to be sponsors, especially for the free publicity and tax breaks.

I'll go over to visit Lindsay after breakfast. Since you asked Dusty to open the gallery one more (good idea) he'll be gone by 8:30 AM so the coast will be clear to talk about Sam. I can't imagine that Linds would have any concerns, but then I'm not a hetero/bi woman...so who the fuck knows.

Join me in the sunroom when you wake up and we can both have our energy teas and breakfast. This storm won't let me have enough peace and quiet to fall back to sleep so I'm going downstairs to read the paper. I hear Gena and Gus anyone so I can visit with them before they rush off to camp.

Back where you belong

Tue, 22 Jul 2008 10:31:47 GMT

It's one thing if one of us is on a business trip, but sleeping apart in the same house is NOT something I want to repeat. I somehow remember you moving briefly and my automatic response was not to let you go.

To answer your query of last night, you are definitely fucking wanted!

I was glad to hear from Gena that you were actually eating more substantially last night and that Gus praised you for finishing your dinner. He made sure to report that you finished all your vegetables, so he did too.

Gus loved being back at camp and said that he saw Gena at the dock helping the little kids in and out of boats now that she has a low level certification. She's a boating assistant. Since we've continued to pay for her to get recertified annually in CPR and Child-CPR the camp was apparently thrilled to have her on board.

I called Lindsay and she's as happy as can be. She feels "inspired" to sketch and is using several of her new supplies. The great news is that her doctor did an exam and felt that she was out of danger but still wanted to follow through with bed rest and no sex for at least the first trimester. I'm with the doctor.

Although Dusty (or should I say his cock) wasn't thrilled, he cares more about Linds and the babies so he accepted the inevitable. My guess is that Dusty will be increasing his time in the shower for a while.

I'll wake you soon for a slow and hopefully enjoyable shower so we don't feel rushed before we go to our dear not-so-old doctor. I know Gus wants to have breakfast with us this morning, too, before he leaves for camp.

Just watching you next to me for a while. It doesn't burn many calories, but it's still my favorite sport.

I'm on my way

Mon, 21 Jul 2008 11:26:08 GMT

When you wake up Gena's going to check on you before she leaves to take Gus to camp. She'll be working in another area of the camp so she doesn't coddle Gus or bring him unwanted attention. The camp understands the previous threat so they're being quite cooperative.

Gena just came out of your bedroom and said she checked your forehead and your fever broke. Unfortunately she was firm about me still not coming into contact with you for the day to confirm I don't any residual illness.

She wants you to take a shower and just relax around the house today. I'll try to keep you posted about my activities and my treatment.

I will ask the nurse to help with the burn cream.

I'm also going to confirm tomorrow's meeting with all the powers that be for the PIFA project. Hopefully we'll back Ian into a corner.

You look so peaceful now. It's obvious that you're much more comfortable. I can leave now feeling that you're on the mend.

Take care of yourself and RELAX today.

Last night sucked

Sun, 20 Jul 2008 10:54:01 GMT

Justin, I kept hearing you get up throughout the night.

Don't think I'm totally nuts but I pulled out Gus' old baby intercom (what ever the fuck they call that thing) since apparently you'd pulled out the baby box when we started planning for the twins (shit, twins). I found that thing and put one end just inside your room -- I didn't get too close and I have the other end.

Since all they needed were fresh batteries they worked like a charm, but unfortunately I heard all the times you got up throughout the night to either vomit or grab a drink of your water or ginger ale. The good news is that you stopped waking up at about 2 AM, so hopefully the puking part is over. Unfortunately the doc said that the fever might linger another day.

Just keep drinking. Gena will be here soon and check on you. If she thinks you should have some dry toast she'll bring it up.

I hate that I can't be with you!!! If you want to talk to me that little intercom device is right in the room.

I'll be in the sunroom.

Mystery in the air

Sat, 19 Jul 2008 11:29:44 GMT

Good morning Sunshine. I had a wonderful night's sleep and was ready for a day of simplicity and relaxation -- in fact I could use that for the weekend but...

I just read your last note to me after I'd fallen asleep last night. BTW, I hope the sip of my leftover drink helped you relax enough to sleep well.

Do you want to tell me what your old PIFA friend wrote texted you? Somehow I knew that, as Ted would say, something wasn't Kosher about Ian's offer.

Why don't you call your old friend and have him join us for lunch at Britin. Since this is someone you knew I assume that inviting him out here might actually make things more comfortable for all of us. It will also insure that prying eyes and ears are no where to be found.

You are tossing and turning a bit but I'm going to let you sleep for now while I read the paper and have a glass of juice. When you wake up why don't you join me in the sunroom. I'll have the overhead fans on since it's so humid today.

There, I just rubbed your back and whispered, "Shhhh." I guess it still works because you're sleeping peacefully now.

See you soon.

Seeing Red

Fri, 18 Jul 2008 10:47:18 GMT

I saw some redness at the location the treatments are focused on. I know we've been applying enough burn cream to put out any fire within a 3 mile radius so I don't know what the fuck is going on.

It's probably a good thing that we'll be seeing the doctor this morning. While you won't be in the exam room, when it's time for the consultation portion I'll make sure the nurse gets you from the waiting area. Not sure what all this means; I guess we'll find out soon enough.

After last night I'm feeling a bit better about working with the maestro. You and I and Kinnetik will be working for a good cause, he'll be working for his own agenda, but I have a feeling his agenda will be significantly augmented when all is said and done.

Since I'm supposed to come up with some sort of fucking brilliant slogan or catch-phrase to entice people to empty their wallets for PIFA it would be a good idea to start brainstorming ideas with you, Ian AND Murph in the room...possibly one or two of my best copy execs as well. No need for anyone to work alone to carry the entire responsibility for this huge project.

It's a good thing Ian didn't want to support the GLC...I would have had to have taken a cut of the take. (Just kidding - partly.)

Maybe you are still on to me, a little...I just may want to visit and check on Lindsay and OUR babies. I'm sure Gus would like to visit his mom too, and that will give us a reason not to stay too long. The hetero couple can get tedious after a few minutes.

Relaxing Day -- We'll see

Thu, 17 Jul 2008 10:54:07 GMT

Your final message last night came in loud and clear. For the benefit of you and Gus I'll take it easy today...after Dr. Shrinkydink. That is definitely NOT stress-free, although I do somehow feel "better" after our sessions.

After the session I'll hide in my office and won't come out unless I have to go yell at someone who's not doing his or her job to my satisfaction. That's not stress, it's a privilege of my position at Kinnetik.

Then later this afternoon I'll come watch you do your thing at the gallery for a while before we go home.

How does that sound? Calm enough for you???

I'm ready for boredom...

Wed, 16 Jul 2008 10:08:20 GMT

If yesterday is any indication of the day-to-day life for the Parents2be, I think I'm going to need a lot more sleep...and tranquilizers. Justin, you'll probably need to carry a paper bag to avoid hyperventilation.

Let's make sure Linds stays in bed (I never thought I'd say that about a woman) as long as possible. While the stress from yesterday clearly got a "rise" out of both of us, a little boredom would be welcome right about now.

Of course, starting the day getting zapped by Iced Tina isn't my favorite, but hopefully I can continue to avoid puking. Unfortunately the doctor would also like to see me on Friday morning right before treatment. He probably wants to make sure I'm not frying too much. Fuck, if we put on any more of that disgusting cream it would be running down my legs.

Are you okay? You basically passed out at the end of the night and we really never got a chance to talk about what happened. It was NOT your fault. If Lindsay gets pissed and behaves recklessly then it's entirely her responsibility.

Dusty was a fucking mess last night. At one point I thought he'd need me to hold his hand or help him blow his nose.

Something we have to face...Mel might know by this afternoon. She'll be pissed off at Michael and Ben and somehow work it into the program that I'm responsible for Lindsay having twins (which is really your department) and for Michael not wanting another kid with her. Michael told me that she's looking into finding a doctor and a sperm bank to do the deal, but they keep asking questions about parenting plans as part of some screening and her record is public record. They know that Michael has primary custody of JR and she's no longer a parent of Gus.

I wouldn't be surprised if we got a visitor at Kinnetik later today. Make sure you're at the gallery!

Thank you for...

Tue, 15 Jul 2008 16:36:50 GMT

The park was refreshing. I feel like I can fucking breathe again.

The visit to chez Joan was a bit more stressful. I have no idea why I needed to sit there and just stare at that god forsaken place. Nothing is farther from god than that place of pain and unhappiness.

I know I didn't get out of the car. I couldn't. You really floored me when you told me what you thought of the house and its dead look. I wasn't the life in the house. It was always a dead zone. I didn't bring any joy in there, no one could. Well if I'd known you, you may have actually succeeded, but there was always a gray cloud over that place.

You're telling Cynthia what to order for lunch. I'm really looking forward to cleaning off the morning in the shower. You really will have to bring me back to life. I feel like a fucking zombie and that's no way to meet Baby Food Bitch.

After the meeting I think I'll go visit Mikey at the store and then how about dinner at the diner. Deb's on tonight. I like to see her.

Out walking

Tue, 15 Jul 2008 04:52:20 GMT

Went for a walk to the beach on my own.

Next thing I know, you're out here, bringing a robe for me. You asked, 'Stay or go, Justin?'

I told you I felt fucking guilty for waking you up, but you were a little pissed that I'd left you and not left a note or anything.

I didn't know my leaving the bed would wake you.

The sketch I made out in the moonlight seemed to have mellowed your mood though. I called it 'the best night of my life.'

You've insisted I bring it tomorrow.

Okay, back to the house...

Sleeping at the lake

Mon, 14 Jul 2008 10:20:44 GMT

I can't believe we fell asleep at the lake last night. At least we were in the pagoda so when it started raining we were covered. Of course having to get back to the house defeated that.

Remember if you're too exhausted to go to treatment this morning I can drive myself into town. You can stay here and work in your studio. I did leave the alarm on, so you won't get pissed off about me sabotaging your plans. If you do want to drive in with me you're more than welcome.

Since I'm up early I'm going to put together a fruit salad with a bowl of yogurt for each of us. You can add all the fruit you want and I even found those chocolate chips you like to add so I'll put those out as well. I'll put up the coffee for you and I'll just have some juice. I just hope I don't give all of this back an hour after treatment.

What's your plan for the day? The baby food people will be at Kinnetik tomorrow so I have to work on that piece of shit and then it's time for my bi-monthly kiss-up call to Leo Brown.

Oh, and Remson's new ad hits the newspapers, magazines and TV screens today. I owe a lot of that success to your artistic eye as you worked with the photographer on digitally enhancing and augmenting the photos and the video. It's just too bad that Remson still has to work on better HIV meds at all. You'd think they'd come up with a fucking cure.

Mikey was lamenting (appropriately so) that one reason he doesn't want another kid is that he doesn't want to add any stress to Ben's already busy life. He hasn't told that to Ben. Michael actually wants more kids, having not had a father, he wants to be one more and more. He's a good dad and any kids he has will be lucky.

Hope to see you in the sunroom before I we have to leave for treatment.

fragment

Sun, 13 Jul 2008 03:36:00 GMT

You're talking to the bouncer now outside the club. Jesus, Brian. You just, wham, hit that guy after he--

Are you sure you want me to wear your shirt? Even though I guess mine's a right off, considering it was ripped off my back.

Fuck, we were just trying to leave. It was like the Wild West, all those tops staking out who they wanted.

We had a wonderful dance before the incident. You laughing, that scarf around your neck until you tossed aside my black one and put it on me.

At the limo, you leaned against it and kissed me, looked at me.

And I--

Holding you helps

Sat, 12 Jul 2008 11:11:29 GMT

That fucking shrink must know what she's talking about. I actually do feel a little better...or maybe it's that new miracle med that's supposed to help me get some energy and body definition back without overdoing the exercise. Either way, I'm feeling more alert this morning.

At first I was angry with you last night. I thought you made my ridiculous memory more about you than me, but after about two minutes I realized you were angry at Jack for what he did to me and you were trying to find an outlet for your anger.

You can be pretty feisty when you're pissed off! I thought you were going to break through to the next hotel room's bathroom.

The truth is, knowing someone cared enough to get that angry on my behalf was new. Until Deb it didn't seem like anyone would ever want to protect the kids in the Kinney house. Claire was always at a friends until she was 19 and got knocked up and I was always at the Novotny home.

Somehow your reaction made me feel...okay, the shrink said I have to express what I'm fucking feeling, when I'm actually feeling it (new territory most of the time)...your reaction made me feel like someone loved me and would protect me unconditionally. Very unfamiliar for me.

I've always known you'd do that, but to "feel" is, is, is different...better.

Let's make this an amazing day! Toys for the kids, shops for us, and then...

Oh shit! I forgot to charge the fucking Treo last night. I'm going to leave it here at the hotel to charge during our day time excursions. Before our late dinner (I'm talking you to a very special restaurant) we'll come back and pick it up. If we're going clubbing tonight I want to be able to touch base with you if we get separated. Some of those clubs are fucking crowded, and I don't want to have any horny twinks sticking their hands down MY TWINK's pants!!!

Getting out of town soon

Fri, 11 Jul 2008 11:41:05 GMT

I can honestly say that I'm looking forward to 48 hours in New York City with just you, me and 10,000,000 strangers.

It's a fucking pain in the balls, or should I say ball, that I first need to have treatment and then that meeting with Marshal.

Don't forget to leave me my pills when you go to get that homeopathic energy shit. Ben was right about his suggestions when I needed them so I hope your Mommy is too.

Marshal better sign on today. Kinnetik worked on almost nothing else all week. The boards are brilliant and so is the slogan, if I say so myself. "The gem to meet all your most precious needs and desires" with a different gemstone ring on six different hands of all shapes, sizes and colors. Pure genius.

Fuck, I can't believe you ended up packing for us both. I must have really crashed last night. If I remember correctly you fell asleep next to me. Did you pack my toiletries kit? I can't go without all my important products.

Oh shit! I just saw your last post from last night. You remember the side of the Jeep. You are having important memories -- trust me.

Last night was...wet

Thu, 10 Jul 2008 11:24:11 GMT

Last night was amazing. It would have been perfect had the dingy not dumped us out after we both went through what I would count as several aftershocks.

At least it was warm enough to dry rapidly. At least we didn't have put our clothing back on. There's something to be said for having a private beach on our own property and going there late at night.

When I woke up this morning I looked out the window and saw Gus and Gena exercising on the lawn and then start walking towards the lake. She sent me an e-mail thanking me for helping keep her in such good shape. I actually think she was serious.

I'm not sure I'm ready for this morning but if I've learned anything from our relationship, it's not to bury or ignore what's painful, although the temptation is there.

It's good to know you'll be in the room. If I need you to leave I'll let you know but it might be better if you stay...that way I won't have to repeat anything that happens to come up (absolutely NO pun intended).

I plan to invite Michael to the diner to have lunch with us today. We need to find out what the fuck is happening between him and Mel, especially after yesterday's lunch fiasco. I don't want to become the Liberty Avenue lead gossip topic, nor do I want our baby to become that either.

Shit! I just looked at the clock. We'd better get showered and we'll pick up something to eat on the way into town.

Pride dream

Wed, 09 Jul 2008 11:35:59 GMT

Last night I had a dream that caused me to wake early. Not because it was a nightmare but because I'm not sure what to make of it.

I dreamt that we were at the Pride dance. The first one we attended together after, after, well after the prom -- that one. I promised you you'd remember that dance and we danced in the street. But then we were still dancing in the street and we were wearing tuxedos. But all of our family were still there and we danced and then there was a blank street. It was empty. We were standing in the middle of this isolated empty Liberty Avenue and we just kept kissing. Then a red circle of light surrounded us and I awoke.

Can't figure this out for shit.

We'd better shower Sunshine, got to go to treatment then off to work.

Are you meeting with Jerry today? I'd like to meet him after lunch if he'll be at the gallery today.

I thought last night went well. Maybe just knowing she's pregnant calmed Lindsay. I don't think she or Dusty minded knowing that you and I would be arranging for the work on the carriage house. I was fucking glad they agreed that the kid's last name should be Taylor, but who knows about the rest. Well, we have months to decide.

And baby makes 6...

Tue, 08 Jul 2008 21:22:48 GMT

Seven if you count Gena. I just got off the phone with Lindsay and she said Gus is very excited about Kayak "Training". The instructor has informed him that he's a natural and apparently Gena is quite masterful at the oar herself.

She's giving him his dinner now and explained that he'll be staying with Gena so he can get an extra early start before he next class. Gena will take him out in the two person kayak so they can practice some new maneuvers and then they'll dock the kayak and do their exercises before the instructor comes. This was a fantastic idea Justin. You really are an amazing father!

The newlyweds will be here with a "list" of important planning topics including how we'll decide to name the kid, etc., etc., etc.

Plan on a long, long, long dinner and discussion. Maybe we can put together some cheese and crackers so we can start in the sunroom before moving on to the dining room. At least it'll force us to take a break.

I'll help with dinner and I've got only non-alcoholic beverages all lined up. I thought cranberry juice spritzers would be refreshing since it's about a million degrees outside. At least the sunroom has all those ceiling fans strategically placed so it feels much cooler and far less humid than the actual patio.

Take a deep breath and let's start preparing for dinner AND a new baby.

I slept last night

Tue, 08 Jul 2008 11:45:39 GMT

I actually slept until my alarm went off this morning. That's the first time that's happened in at least a couple of weeks. It felt great although I was tempted to throw the fucking clock across the room when it started buzzing in my ear.

I suppose you wouldn't buy that this means I won't need any help from the doctor this morning and that we'll only focus on recovering your buried memories. I would imagine that won't sell.

We'll have to head to Kinnetik after the doctor and I'm sure you want to get to the gallery for a while. Maybe we can get together for lunch -- your place or mine?

Tonight we'll have our "planning for the future" dinner with Lindsay and Dusty. Don't do too much planning at the gallery without me, but you might want to share the idea of Dusty working more at the gallery. Do you have any space where he could do his sculpting when it's slow?

Come on Sunshine, we need to get moving. How about a high-protein shower? Then we can top it off with carbs in the kitchen.

I think I see Gena walking over to the cottage to get Gus. I'm glad they both seem to be enjoying their new sporting outlet.

Lindsay said she saw a plus sign

Mon, 07 Jul 2008 22:48:35 GMT

Now Justin, I have to admit that I've always known you have an incredibly active libido and your compact size compared to the size of your cock don't match in the least but let's just say that first time out of the gate and...

It's preggers time! Linds got one of those test kits that you can take the test the day after you start trying. At least she waited nearly a week. It confirmed it...

Baby Armani, Baby Dior and Baby Prada, along with FAO Schwarz in NYC are all about to increase their sales significantly.

Congrats Dad!!!

Too much to do before 3 PM

Mon, 07 Jul 2008 10:31:19 GMT

Treatment, attorneys, Kinnetik and home by 3:00 PM.

What a fucking insane day. I just want to make sure that no one can hurt you or Gus or our family.

I still can't believe in just over 24 hours we'll learn from the Happy Honeymooners if there's a need for any more deposits. I'm sure Dusty will be relieved not to have to think about it. I've never seen a guy get so squeamish around jizz before.

Yes, Justin, I'm awake earlier than necessary. Until there's a leash on Joan I'll probably be overly cautious.

All that's missing is you

Sun, 06 Jul 2008 13:12:58 GMT

Gus and I let you sleep in.

Come down for raspberry pancakes? Well, yours are mainly fruit and only dusted with sugar, no maple syrup.

Gus wants to go out on the water with us this morning. It's misty and beautiful on the lake. I saw a heron take flight through the sun room.