LiveJournal Bisexual

Washington U. Set to Honor Anti-Gay Activist

2008-05-09T01:34:36Z

Washington University in St. Louis is giving an honorary degree to anti-gay activist Ms. Phylis Schlafly founder of the Eagle Forum a right wing group opposed to LGBT equality and feminism. This woman has fought tirelessly against marriage equality even though her own son is gay, and she has said women should not work and believes they belong in the kitchen.

Take action by clicking to email the university on the post below:
http://queersunited.blogspot.com/2008/05/ding-dong-witch-is-getting-honorary.html

@#$%ING CENSORSHIP

2008-05-07T09:34:52Z

This is ridiculous. Feel free to x-post EVERYWHERE. Let people know.... because this is an issue that AFFECTS EVERYONE (not just glbt people) and it isn't just happening in Indiana.

"NEW" CENSORSHIP LAWS TRYING TO TAKE AWAY FREE SPEECH AND INDIVIDUAL RIGHTS
or, what I like to call, "Leave my rights alone and get the @#$% out of my house."

(x-posted)

bisexual @ 2008-05-07T04:53:00

2008-05-07T08:59:58Z

Hi, I'm new here. I have something I've been needing to share with people who might understand, and any response would be greatly appreciated. I wrote this in my personal journal a while ago.

Ever since, shall we say, my confession... a little while ago, my life has been filled with all kinds of thoughts and emotions that I really don't understand.

I've shared a lot about myself that many people close to me don't know. The more I've begun to accept myself and not close certain feelings and emotions out, the longer I realize I've been doing it. I recall a conversation with my mother when I was about 14. I was bleeding because I was shaving my legs with a dull razor. I'd been shaving my legs for a few months, but they hadn't noticed until I walked down to the kitchen with bloody socks. My mother sat me down in the living room, and being a counselor, initiated a mothering conversation of "do you need to tell me anything?"

My mother told me that I exhibited many of the signs of a homosexual. This wasn't the first time she'd told me. Before, she'd had me go to dinner with a lesbian co-worker, as sort of a mentor kinda thing, because she believed it would help me come to terms with what she assumed was true.

I think it was these assumptions that caused the denial and close out of these feelings. It's weird, many deny themselves because of religion or knowing their parents would disown them... Mine was the opposite. I'd been called "fag" before I even knew what it meant, so I think I distanced myself from these feelings because it seemed like everyone, even my own parents, were expecting it.

When I moved out on my own, as the girl I was dating at the time so fondly recalls, it's when I really began to "blossom". Sure, in high school in addition to shaving my legs, I let the girls put make-up on me on a nearly consistent basis, but once on my own and away from my parents, I began to buy some girls' underwear, and eventually full outfits. I was 18 when I went out as Marissa for the first time, and it was a pretty regular thing for awhile.

At that time, a boy named Travys helped me with outfits, make-up, and bought me my first pair of boots. Travys is now a woman, but at the time, was a gorgeous blonde-haired... Just absolutely beautiful, and all the girls wanted him. However, his interest lied somewhere unexpected... Me. I couldn't help but notice that I craved to spend time around him, but could never think of anything to say when I was. I chalked it up to not having anything in common, but really I think I was so attracted to him that it was leaving me speechless. One time he came over, and at one point just grabbed me and started kissing me full on. I was really scared, but I wasn't sure if I liked it or not. I was still confused about myself. He wanted to be my boyfriend, and I was so torn inside. Being his boyfriend would mean admitting things I wasn't ready to, things I was still denying. But when he kissed me goodbye, it felt right, strangely. To this day, I wish I could go back feeling what I do now and relive those moments and see what would've happened.

The next girl I dated loved to dress me up, and she played into all my Rissa fantasies and desires. Even the girl I dated before her, aforementioned, said that's when it was really in full-swing.

Then came what she believes made me crawl back into my shell and not emerge again until recently. Since this happened, I haven't done full drag, and haven't worn makeup outside of shows since this happened. I was working for a manager who was full gay and about fifty years old. Long story short, he scared the hell out of me and sexually assaulted me at work. I think it scared me so much that I buried anything I'd blossomed into until that point.

Now that these feelings have returned and I just can't deny them anymore, the select people I've told outside of here have had the same response... "Yeah, we always knew. We were just waiting for you to figure it out."

That still brings the total amount of boys I've ever crushed on to a whopping two. I'm still really confused, I'm a weird flood of emotions, and I don't know what to make of it all. The second boy on whom I've been crushing blew me off tonight, and I can't believe I'm so upset about it. Nothing even happened, y'know?

Though another strange thing, now I want to go out and get clothes to start dressing more like I've always wanted to... Bell bottoms, silky shirts, tight shirts, stuff like that. Girly but not flamboyantly, you know? I also think I'll start wearing eye-makeup again, just because I like it. It'll be strange for some people I know, but overall, I think a majority of people I'm genuinely friends with, like those I've already told, will just shrug it off and not even be fazed by it.

I'm just so utterly confused right now, and I don't know what to do. Am I bi? Am I bi-curious? Hell, one person said I've been acting... gay. I'm still attracted to women, but this is what's been on my mind recently. Probably because it's new? I don't know... I give up trying to figure it out.

Introducing Queers United

2008-05-05T13:00:37Z

The LGBT activist blog...

http://www.queersunited.blogspot.com

Great Video

2008-05-04T23:10:23Z

May not be safe for homophobic workplaces, there's no offensive nudity (aside from a patial titty shot) and there's male-male-female kissing and touching.

Thank you for being my friend

2008-05-01T22:30:16Z

I want to say thank you to everyone who sent me good wishes on my publication day.

I've tried to reply to some of you individually, but I know I missed some. All these kind thoughts and words meant a lot to me, and I'm thrilled that people are interested in Phyllida's success.

a small vote against homophobia?

2008-04-30T00:23:57Z

From the American Family Association:

"Procter & Gamble has resumed using explicit, open-mouth homosexual kissing in their soap opera, “As the World Turns.” P&G decided to include this type of content as a commitment to “diversity.” P&G stopped showing such scenes some months ago, but has now decided to again help promote the homosexual agenda which includes homosexual marriage.

Gay activists are hopeful that the P&G effort will desensitize viewers to the homosexual lifestyle and help make the unhealthy and immoral lifestyle more acceptable to society, especially to children and youth.

“As the World Turns” is owned and controlled completely by P&G. No network made this decision. P&G alone made the decision to support the homosexual agenda.

But, hey, Proctor and Gamble is letting people vote - should they be homophobic jerks or not? It's a free call, very quick.

To vote:
*call the number: 1-800-331-3774.
*you may be asked to Press 1 for English/2 for Spanish, I was not
*then they ask you if you are calling about something else (option 1) or the gay couple storyline (option 2) so hit 2 to get to the As the World Turns poll.
*press 1 to tell them you want the storyline to continue. (or two if you don't)

I don't watch soaps. But I hate the AFA and their desire to make all non-hetro people disappear or at least crawl into a shame hole. So I voted for the story line. I encourage you to do the same.

(and thanks to my incredible friend for bringing this to my attention)

bisexual @ 2008-04-29T17:48:00

2008-04-29T17:02:07Z

The LGBT society at my university (Swansea uni) has just put forward the design for our new t shirts; Swansea in large rainbow letters on the front, and our names on the back. I don't know about you guys but this set off several very loud alarm bells in my head, and gave me the initial reaction of "How bloody dare you!".

I have since contacted some of the other reps (I'm Campaigns rep myself) and asked if I can give the speach under the cut below at tonight's meeting.

What are your oppinions on the design, do you agree with my points, or am I just being some annoying picky bisexual?

I feel quite outraged that nobody thought of the implications of the design (I wasn't present due to flu the week it was discussed), but at the same time am worried I'm over reacting, especially so because I am one of three regular bisexuals, neither of which had any problem with the design.

Please guys, am I just some mad woman??

I am aware that you have discussed already the issue of not including the letters LGBT on the proposed t-shirt design due to privacy. I can appreciate your issues in advertising your alternative gender or sexual orientations, and the stigma that can be partnered with such a statement.

However, the purpose of these t-shirts is not so we can recognise each other; we already know who we all are, and do not need t-shirts to identify us. These shirts are a way of bringing us to the attention of our peers, thereby raising awareness; both as a statement of the strength of us in our vast numbers, and as an invitation to those that might have been too shy or not ready to approach us at the freshers fairs.

As a liberation campaign it is our duty to raise that awareness, and as they stand, these t-shirts do nothing to aid that; and we are not just any old society.

Furthermore, as by the current design, that of the RAINBOW colours only, the B and T in LGBT are completely ignored. Neither of these groups come under the rainbow flag, and have symbols of their own that deserve to be acknowledged.

I myself never use the rainbow flag. I am bisexual. And have my own flag and colours to show my pride. I am proud of my orientation, and do not wish to be forced to go under the false pretence of being a lesbian.

To me this is just another situation where the L and G get centre stage. This in my opinion is unreasonable when selecting something that should be a tool to our campaign, not simply a personal token of our involvement.

I am aware that we have discussed already the issue of not including the letters LGBT on the proposed t-shirt design due to privacy. I can appreciate your issues in advertising your alternative gender or sexual orientations, and the stigma that can be partnered with such a statement.

However, the purpose of these t-shirts is not so we can recognise each other; we already know who we all are, and do not need t-shirts to identify us. These shirts are a way of bringing us to the attention of our peers, thereby raising awareness; both as a statement of the strength of us in our vast numbers, and as an invitation to those that might have been too shy or not ready to approach us at the freshers fairs.

As a liberation campaign it is our duty to raise that awareness, and as they stand, these t-shirts do nothing to aid that; and we are not just any old society.

Furthermore, as by the current design, that of the RAINBOW colours only, the B and T in LGBT are inevitably ignored. Although these groups come under the rainbow flag, I feel that an assumption is made about those individuals that wear one. Because of this I feel that the rainbow flag alone can not portray adequately that we include all under the LGBT umbrella.

This in my opinion is unreasonable when selecting something that should be a tool to our campaign, not simply a personal token of our involvement.

Edit: Some posters have pointed out the rainbow flag can apply to LGBT as a whole. Personally I feel that people make the gay assumption when they see the flag and do not pause to wonder if it is bi or trans that applies in that instance (thus having the flag ONLY would be incorrect and unfair). My points about not having LGBT in text on the shirts stand as fair points in my opinion. By all means discuss it out, I'm curious as to what everyone has to say.

Edit #2: Thank you very much for your input everyone! I have made some alterations to my speach based on the comments so far. I am leaving the house now, but please continue to comment if you wish :)

Publication eve

2008-04-29T06:51:15Z

My "debut novel" (how's that for making me feel eighteen again?), Phyllida and the Brotherhood of Philander, is being released tomorrow. In this age of the life lived online, I have this nagging feeling there's something I'm supposed to say, something I should do to mark this momentous (to me) occasion. How can I expect potential readers to notice me and, more important, seek out my book, if I just sit quietly and let the moment pass?

I'm old enough to remember a very different time, not that long ago, when a serious author tried to be anonymous, sometimes literally. An author photo? Absurd! What could it possibly matter what a writer looks like? Even a short bio seemed, somehow, unseemly. It's the work that matters, the writing. The author isn't the point of this endeavor; the book is.

Sometimes anonymity or a pseudonym are essential. Think of the original Flashman, written by George MacDonald Fraser and first published in 1969. I've heard that some early readers genuinely believed this darkly satirical work to be the memoir of a cad, coward and blackguard who lived through every major British campaign from the Afghan wars of the 1840s to the Boer War. Fraser wouldn't have helped his cause if he'd tried to make more of a splash than his antiheroic creation.

And of course, many women writers of the past simply couldn't be published under their own (feminine) names. Currer Bell is Charlotte Bronte's now-familiar male alter ego, and Jane Austen and Frances Burney published their first works anonymously.

But we live in strange times. Readership for traditional novels is down. Everybody and her sister is blogging, writing, posting, making videos. New authors are supposed to publicize themselves; it's practically a required clause in the contract. Even a big publisher like HarperCollins can't work miracles for every new, unknown author. So: Get the word out! Send email blasts! Don't have a MySpace page? What are you, crazy? Update your website for crying out loud! And blog! blog! blog!

The one danger in all this is that the diligent publicist/writer will alienate just about everyone after the fifth or sixth blast. I received a wonderful "reply" to one of my blog posts announcing yet another good review: "At this very moment," one exasperated reader wrote, "I think I'd particularly enjoy a romance [like Phyllida] ... But I certainly wouldn't read it if I knew you wrote it."

Well, there's the rub. I did write it. I wrote the book and I wrote the blog and the website content and the emails and...

What can I say except: I've loved every minute of it. I wrote what I wanted to write, what gave me great pleasure, what I wanted to read. Tomorrow--in a few hours--it will be on sale in bookstores for everyone to read. I hope that some of you will find in this humorous, romantic story of the spirited, beautiful authoress, her glamorous bisexual husband and his honorable gay boyfriend the same joy I had in creating it.

Looking for research participants

2008-04-27T21:07:23Z

I took down my survey because it hadn't been approved by the IRB yet and I had to revise some of the questions and answer options, but now it's back up. Your help is greatly appreciated.

http://www.tigersurvey.com/survey.php?survey=5623

[NYC]: Bi Writer Makes Good - Community Invited to Help Celebrate

2008-04-27T10:15:47Z

To everybody who will be in the New York City area on the evening of Tuesday, April 29th 2008 . . .

. . . in a story that sounds like it came straight out of the page of a romance novel itself or at least from every unpublished author's favorite daydream, the self-published bisexual historical romantic comedy, Phyllida and the Brotherhood of Philander, became the proverbial "underground hit" and was picked up by HarperCollins a major publishing house.

The "above ground" release date is Tuesday, April 29 2008. And the proud author Ms. Ann Herendeen (aka ann_amalie) is throwing a party to celebrate and you are all invited!

Where: Revival (upstairs in the lounge, of course)
129 East 15th Street (between 3rd Avenue and Irving Place) Manhattan Gramercy-Flatiron area 212-253-8061
When: Tuesday, April 29th 2008 from 7:00 pm to 9:00 PM

The event is being hosted by the best bi party planners, those totally cool gals and guys about town from NYC BiChoice, so it's sure to be fun. There's no cover, free snacks(!) and yes, there will be a limited number of free books!

Our happy author, Ms. Ann Herendeen (aka ann_amalie) is a lifelong resident of Brooklyn who has worked variously as a researcher for an urban planning consultant, an advertising media planner, a librarian and now a published author. She is frequently seen at various gatherings and events throughout the New York area bisexual/LGBT community, where she is much sought after for readings thanks to her witty and intelligent style.

As Ms. Herendeen says, "I can now die happy. I have written the book I wanted to write. I have managed to get it published without having to change it. And I have received a well written rave review from a reviewer who sees the book as I would like it to be seen".

This is a total Win! Win! Win! situation for All Book Lovers, for Struggling (& initially self-published) Authors and (of course) for the Bisexual/LGBT Community.

A Sampling of Reviews To-date
"Sparkling with Regency wit and panache, Herendeen's debut novel . . . is a brilliant exploration of love, sexuality, class, and gender, but above all, it is a wonderful love story. Highly recommended for those readers comfortable with alternative sexual and erotic literature." --- Library Journal

"A clever, highly articulate, historically sharp, and delightfully entertaining romance . . . Herendeen has a writing voice that matches the tone and restraint of the Regency, and her descriptions and dialogue are fantastic" -- Smart Bitches Who Love Trashy Books

"A wonderful romance, well-written, exceedingly historically accurate, and very, very sexy" --- Romance: by the Blog

"Humorous and satirical as Herendeen skewers the ethics of the ton (and by implication modern day American hypocritical claims of morality) Phyllida and the Brotherhood of Philander is a superbly written bisexual Regency romance" --- Harriet Klausner at Amazon

I want that book! Buy it thru Amazon Buy it thru Barnes & Noble (Old School - Collector's Item)

Going out and coming out

2008-04-26T23:56:56Z

Yesterday my eldest daughter had a ped. day. So I decided to take her out with me downtown, buy a couple of lil things and walk all over over the place to enjoy the nice sunny day we were having. I discovered she is quite funny and witty (lately with her being pree-teen she's very argumentative and opinionated so we don't get much chance to just chat - she's 12 going on 13 btw).

We ended up "Chez Cora"s (breakfast resto for those who don't know this lil restaurant chain) for lunch. My daughter and I were chatting and the subject of homosexuality came up due to the fact that she looks a bit boyish at times with her unisex type of dressing and short hair. That day though she mentioned that she obviously looks like a girl and not a gay boy. I asked her if she knew about homosexuality in girls and boys(because I never really talked about to her directly, altho I never found it to be an issue when we encounter that in convos, tv and such), she answered that yes she knew and was explained in a no nonsense manner at school about it. That is when I asked her if she was aware of bisexuals. She said no and I explained it to her. I then explained to her that I am bisexual, she was surprised but so very accepting. I felt like we got a bit closer that day. I love my lil girl <3

X-posted to bisexual_women and bisexual_world

bisexual @ 2008-04-24T16:26:00

2008-04-24T21:28:11Z

I don't know about anyone else, but I've never had any problem asking males out or telling them I find them attractive. However, when confronted with a beautiful woman, I get sweaty and can't speak.

Is it just me or are there others who feel this way?

[USA]: ALERT Bisexual Resource Center Website Down

2008-04-23T05:17:44Z

From: Bisexual Resource Center
Date: Apr 22, 2008 9:38 PM
Subject: Bisexual Resource Center Website Down

Hello everyone,

Our site, biresource.org, was hacked today, and it will be down for an indeterminate amount of time. We'll let you know when we're online again.

Meanwhile, for resources, we suggest you visit these other great sites:

BiNet USA: http://www.binetusa.org/
Bay Area Bisxual Network:: http://www.babn.org/
New York Area Bisexual Network: http://www.nyabn.org/
American Institute of Bisexuality: http://www.bisexual.org/
The Bi Writers Association: http://www.biwriters.org/indexN.html
Robyn Ochs's site: http://www.robynochs.com/index.html
Bi Cafe: http://www.bicafe.com/

Most of these sites have links to other bisexual sites.

For bi media:
Bisexual Tribune http://www.bitribune.com/
BiMagazine: http://www.bimagazine.org/home/index. html
The Fence: http://www.thefence.ca/
Bi Community News (UK): http://www.bicommunitynews.co.uk/
Bi-Nieuws Magazine (Dutch): http://www.lnbi.nl/nieuws.html#bn20044

Arthur Cohen
BRC Board Director

The Bisexual Resource Center (BRC) is a non-profit educational organization that has been serving the bisexual community since 1985. Headquartered in Boston Massachusetts, the BRC provides education about and support for bisexual and progressive issues.

Publications
The BRC also produces the Bisexual Resource Guide, now in its 4th Edition. The Guide edited by Robyn Ochs and more than 150 volunteers from every corner of the globe is a comprehensive directory of every kind of bisexual and bi-inclusive organization in the world including youth groups, media, bisexual People of Color coalitions, cross-cultural alliances, political groups, social gatherings, universities, religious centers, bookstores, HIV/AIDS support organizations, places to dance and sing and much, much more.

You can also join the Bisexual Resource Center (BRC) on:

[the BRC myspace page and yahoo group were not involved and are both still up]

biphobia?

2008-04-22T23:25:48Z

Hey everyone,

My cousin is getting married this weekend, and I called her very last minute (yesterday) to ask if I could bring my girlfriend to the wedding in place of my brother, who decided not to attend. I know it's a hassle to change name placards on the dining tables, et cetera, so I was very sorry about it.

This is the first my cousin's heard I have a girlfriend, as far as I know. My cousin and I were good friends as kids/teenagers, at which time I was interested in boys. My cousin's always been laid back, friendly, pretty much awesome overall.

Well, when I spoke to her on the phone she wasn't so awesome. She told me it would be fine if my girlfriend came, but she was noticeably hostile about the situation. I chalked this up to her being stressed about having to change a detail for a wedding that was less than a week away.

So she asked me to email my girlfriend's information, which I did. In the email I also told her that I was happy for her and couldn't wait to see her. She replied verbatim: "If for whatever reason Trevor (my brother) does come, then it will not be ok because we will not have a seat for both of them." A little cold for family, right? I thought it was an odd response from her, the fantastically friendly cousin I knew, but I thought that perhaps she was just being business-oriented.

Then I get a call today from my dad. He tells me that my cousin requested that my girlfriend not attend the dinner that is to occur before the day of her wedding. He explained that she meant only for close family and friends to attend that dinner and that my girlfriend would be out of place. This was strange to me, because if my dad's girlfriend had chosen to come with us this weekend, she'd be attending the pre-wedding dinner...a dinner meant only for close friends and family.

I've experienced traumatic bi-phobia in the past year so I'm afraid I may be jumping to conclusions. I really don't want to think that my cousin may be acting strangely because I'm bringing a girlfriend and not a boyfriend. I can't think of what else might be happening, though. Now I'm wondering, should I bring her at all? This is my cousin's wedding, not my coming-out party. I feel like I'm creating disaster for all involved.

Is it weird..?

2008-04-21T18:29:31Z

Recently, I was approached by a young man wanting me to sign a petition to stop an initiative to officially define marriage in the State of California as "between a man and a woman." (I am oversimplifying for the sake of brevity, but this is the general gist of the thing.)

He asked, "Do you support the right of gays and lesbians to marry their same-sex partners?" I replied, "I support the right of anybody who wishes to marry a same-sex partner, even if they are not homosexual." He stared at me as if I were confused. Unfortunately, I didn't have time to elaborate, so I confirmed that I had already signed the petition and wished him luck, but I wish I had explained my answer.

Is it weird that it bothered me that he excluded bisexual people from the equation? Am I being overly sensitive? What are your thoughts?

Gaydar

2008-04-20T23:11:46Z

View Poll: #1174407

Recent Move

2008-04-19T05:10:43Z

Hello all, I've recently joined ranks among the South Carolinians and I'm wondering where a girl can go to meet other girls? Hit me back and let me know where a girl in Bennettsville can hook it up!!! lol I just want to me some people like me who may not want to be in this state for the rest of their lives... hit me with a comment or something...

Crushes

2008-04-18T21:32:58Z

I have a massive crush on a coworker.

My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year and a half, and things are great. I'm madly in love with him, and don't feel like I'm missing out on anything by being monogamous.

But there's this girl at work who's just...beyond cute. The way she sways her hips as she walks, the way she laughs, the tantalizing way that she touches my arm when talking to me after consuming a margarita or two (lol)... Yeah, I've got a crush.

Honestly, I have no desire to act on it. I don't think about leaving the boy or imagine taking her home with me after a post-work drink. I just find it amusing that I've got such a deep crush on her, so the point where I almost swoon when she flashes me a smile as she walks by my desk.

This led me to wonder. Do all bisexuals go through this? Happy with their partner, but a little part of them always wanting something different?

To clarify:
I've always been fine the "it doesn't matter where you build up your appetite" way of thinking. My question is more about the "grass is always greener" issue.

When I'm with a girl, I get crushes on boys. When I'm with a boy, I get crushes on girls. So I was wondering if it's typical for other bisexuals as well.

Looking Bi

2008-04-10T03:50:57Z

I randomly asked two girls I didn't know at the mall-

well, I didn't really ask, I made my friend ask.

But I had him ask which of us (my female friend and I) appeared to be bi and which appeared to be straight

and they immediately said i was the straight one >.<

I feel like I've had this happen a lot before and is why I don't get a lot of girls hitting on me because they mostly don't know.
I get a lot of my female friends (that are interested) hitting on me but not strangers or new people.
I kind of rock the lipstick lesbian look I guess you could say.
It's mostly hoodies and jeans and sneakers.

Aside from wearing rainbow earrings or other stuff what could I do to actually look bi?
Or would I have to cave in and get a rainbow bumper sticker or something?

I want to be one of those girls where you know she is totally into that cute chick
but I don't wanna get caught staring at some girl's chest (it's happened XD)

-Becky

Newbie here in this community....

2008-04-09T16:52:01Z

....and seeking some general advice. I'm sure that there are people here who have gone through or are going through this and I just need to know what I should be doing during this odd moment in my life.

I'm married with two kids. I love my husband very much. When I first married him, I was in denial about my sexuality. I thought that everyone felt what I was feeling and the only "right" thing to do was to ignore it. Now, however, it's becoming a constant strain in our marriage. When I finally told him that I wanted to be with a woman, he flipped. I haven't labeled myself anything at this point, but since I am attracted to men and women, I guess I could be labeled bi. My husband is an awesome man. We're trying to work through this but it's still very difficult and complicated. My husband has already told me he doesn't want to "share" me, but I can't keep ignoring these urges. I feel so so so selfish because it seems my marriage is crumbling all because of my wants. My attraction to men is very different than my attraction to women. This is the main cause of my troubles because it's this unique attraction to women that I need in my life as well. My husband keeps asking me how I know I'm attracted to women if I've never had sex with one. In turn, I ask him if he knew he was straight before he slept with a woman. He just says it's not the same thing. My husband just doesn't get it and I am having trouble explaining to him _why_ I need to be with a woman. He asks me constantly about it and keeps telling me that he doesn't understand. Now, everything I do is questioned. If I don't want him touching my stomach it's cuz I hate him. If I'm not in the mood to have sex with him it's cuz I'm thinking about a woman. I feel like I have to tip toe around him so he doesn't draw any conclusions. We are in therapy, even though he keeps saying that although therapy is helpful, he doesn't think it's going to help us. I'm trying to remain positive, but I'm just feeling so down. To make matters worse, our friends and even various members of _my_ own family have turned against me, telling me how wrong I am and how terrible I am for putting myself above my marriage.

Has anyone gone through this or know someone who is going through this? Any words of encouragement/advice would be extremely helpful.

Thanks
~m.

Lesbians on bisexuality.

2008-04-08T02:21:31Z

So I posted this on the lesbian comm.

I'm anticipating quite the debate, although I'm hesitant to become involved. I'm also hesitant to ask you all to join in, as I sort of want this to be a collection of lesbian women's opinions.

Anyway -- what are your thoughts? Does this confirm your suspicions? give you a cynical outlook on life? make you hopeful for the future?

bisexual @ 2008-04-05T16:13:00

2008-04-05T20:15:13Z

I'm a bisexual woman (23) and I just broke up with a boyfriend of about a year. He was always making comments on bisexuals and how they're "insecure" and feel the need to "identify" with being bi as their whole existence. This has made me extremely angry, and I thought I'd just rant here. I hate people like this. If anyone else has run into this please let me know how to handle it - I'm trying to be his friend but he's so freakin bigoted I can't take it anymore.

Birds and the bees

2008-04-05T04:08:16Z

At kaiser (pediatrics department) yesterday I was reading one of the pamphlets they have in the exam room - "Growing Up for Girls" or something like that. All of the requisite period and body parts info. They also had a FAQ and one of the questions asked about homosexuality. The answer was great and included the fact that a bisexual is someone who is attracted to members of both sexes. I was happy with the bi-inclusiveness. Go Kaiser!

x/p a bit :)

[Brooklyn]: Aids Walk NY Bake Sale & Fundraiser 4/17/2008 6 pm

2008-04-04T00:33:48Z

Hello Friends,

We need YOU to join CURVACEOUS DIVAS & FRIENDS for this year’s AIDS Walk New York!

The Curvaceous Diva Society is a sisterhood for plus size woman to empower each other, educate one another & their communities and regain acceptance.

Our motto is "A twist and a turn will get you anywhere!" meaning anything can be accomplished . . . so don’t underestimate a plus-size woman.

To learn more about our involvement or to register through us, please join us Thursday April 17th 2008 from 6 pm to 9 pm at Audre Lorde Project for our Aids Walk Bake Sale & Fundraiser, 85 South Oxford Street Fort Greene Brooklyn NYC 11217-1607

o General Donation Suggested: $5

o Guest Speaker: Resa (Co-Founder of Curvaceous Diva Society) Will Share with everyone her experiences since losing 2 parents to AIDS.

We’re encouraging anyone that would like to speak about living with AIDS or losing a loved one to AIDS to come out and speak about your experience.

We will also be telling you all about our team activities; give you registration cards to add friends and relatives to our team; and answer any other questions you might have.

Online registration is also available at the AIDS Walk website (www.aidswalk.net/newyork):

o Click "REGISTER TO WALK"
o Select "JOIN A TEAM" Remember to select Team "CURVACEOUS DIVAS & FRIENDS-1528"

You can download your sponsor form to print out immediately and receive your Walker Kit from the AIDS Walk office.

Please encourage your family members and friends to register online to walk with our team. The more participants we have, the stronger and more successful our team will be!

If you can't make it to our events or the AIDS Walk you can still donate by going to our Team "CURVACEOUS DIVAS & FRIENDS-1528" Donations Page. There with a few simple clicks of the mouse you can give our team a one-time lump-sum donation. And remember it's for a good cause and all tax deductible.

So please join our team and donate and/or walk on Sunday, May 18th 2008 - it’s an important cause and an inspiring day!

Thank you,
Resa & Jenn
Founders of Curvaceous Diva Society