I don't really even have words for all that's been going on with Panic lately. I've been trying to keep myself kind of emotionally divorced from it. Except, ugh, this song makes me want to write teary, redemptive fic so bad. /o\


The video is not intentionally related. It's just the only place I could find that had the song online. But, incidentally, check out the movie 'Shelter' if you haven't. It's pretty sweet.

*hugs* Miss you guys.

What I forgot from my last pose:

I have instructions to go back if I get worse pain than earlier today, if I have visual disturbances again, numbness, 'or other concerns'.

I follow up with a NEW neurologist.

They prescribed me Baclofen, which basically is a muscle relaxant that makes Flexeril look like Pez. They gave it to me because they think the cause of my migraines were stress.

No, not the 'you have stress' definition people use to bullshit me out.

Apparently? There's two definitions of stress in a migraine.

One: There is emotion causing you to ache.

Two: There is emotion causing the muscles and tissue involved in your brain to tighten up like a vise, therefore creating such a horrible pain you cannot manage to do any one thing.

And the second one is what they think happened here.

...............so, um. I'm calling for a new psychiatrist tomorrow, too. Clap if you think that's a good idea.

Last night I was watching Angel when out of nowhere I get a text message at around eleven.

I look at the number trying to think of who I know that has that number and realize it's Courtney. Wondering if she thought of something else to say to me to hurt my feelings I hold my breath and read.

"I am not going to say I am sorry because I don't like to be accused of blowing off my friends when I wasn't, but I do wish I had my best friend to hang out with. I don't have all the time in the world but I do have a little more time now that we are in the house. Maybe sometime we can both get the bugs out of our asses and hang out."

I don't know what to say. Initially I want to say something like, "I never asked for an apology so get over it and leave me alone." I also kind of just wanted to ignore her, because seriously... she's texting me this? She couldn't call me? wtf.

So I start to reply, trying to give her a short reply but I just kept going on and on until she got a book in return. Take that!

"If you're not sorry then I don't care. I'm done being the asshole just because I say how I feel. I do miss you and am sorry we aren't canoeing or going to see Harry Potter together but I'm not going to apologize for feeling like I was being blown off. I know you have a busy life, I never said you didn't but all I was asking for was permission to drop by after work and I would have helped you move in and stuff but when you acted like you needed to pencil me in to your busy schedule just for me to drop by it felt like you didn't really want me over at all."

That was no where near everything I wanted or meant to say but hey we were texting so we have to deal with the lameness of talking not so much. I wanted to say all her friends felt like they were taking the back seat for the new sperm donor of the year but I should be used to that because for as long as I've known her we're extremely close as long as she is single but once a boy enters the picture her friends are pushed to the side and we're supposed to understand and not be selfish. Well, dammit, we're selfish.

"You never asked to stop over you wanted to go bowling and I didn't have time maybe I shouldn't have blown up but you should have understood that I was busy."

Gah, okay I never got to ask her if I could come over because when I was asking her what she was doing that night after work she ignored my text forever and ever and ever and then I told her when she doesn't respond it feels like she's blowing me off and then she blew up at me. But I am an asshole for this. I am bad bad bad.

I said, "I do know you're busy, I never said you weren't."

Just like I never said I was better than her or had a busier life than her or anything like that but she seemed to think I was saying or thinking that.

So we texted back and forth for a while and this all took place one right after another and she was saying she wanted her best friend back and to hang out with me and blah blah blah. So I figure, alright she's trying. I've been raised to forgive and forget. Can I do this?

So I text her back and ask, "When were you planning to see the Harry Potter movie?"

Because we planned to see it together like when the first movie came out lol but seriously we were just talking about it a few months ago before the whole explodey-Courtney thing happened.

No reply. After we were replying within minutes of the other texting back she doesn't reply when I take initiative and think of something we could do together.

Well... I guess I'll go kill zombies.

at the er.i am in medpath which is seperate from the er, a step inbetween er ad hospitalizationl. they seem to be planning on keeping me here until they kill the migraine and tryinng lots of various medications. ad, uh, yeah, spinal tap soon

will update if i know more.

So I was watching TV yesterday and a car commercial came on. In it the driver was pulling all kinds of crazy stunts. At the bottom of the screen, they usually have a small disclaimer along the lines of "professional driver on closed course do not try at home". This one had "Really, don't try this at home. Seriously."

I laughed.

Just thought that needed sharing...

Whether you see online roleplay an extension of yourself and your own personality, or a fun writing exercise where literally anything goes, everyone has different comfort levels, kinks, and interests. But all we really care about is the smut.

Mark the things you have roleplayed with ‘x’, then: italicize the things you haven’t roleplayed, but might want to/would be willing to try, and strike through the things you’d absolutely never be willing to touch.

( Read more... )

Rin, we're slipping, we have a few more to go before we're actually depraved.

YAY!: Mystery Dungeon: Blazing, Stormy & Light Adventure Squads are announced for Wiiware! We know exactly how much Puri adores Mystery Dungeon, nom. Here are the teams according to version:

Keep Going! Blazing: Charmander, Cyndaquil, Torchic, Chimchar, Vulpix, Growlithe, Eevee, Teddiursa, Buneary
Let's Go! Stormy: Squirtle, Totodile, Mudkip, Piplup, Wooper, Azurill, Phanpy, Riolu & Wynaut
Go For It! Light: Pichu, Pikachu, Shinx, Pachirisu, Elekid, Mareep, Psyduck, Togepi & Meowth

Goddamn, I don't know what version to get! ;; The only Pokemon I really like that much on the Stormy Squad are Squirtle and Riolu, so... Light has more Pokemon I like, including Togekiss. But Blazing also has a ton of my favorite Pokemon (Vulpix, Buneary) and it has Eevee and that's an instant wildcard, so... yeah. I'm likely getting Blaze. Hehe. XD Poor Growlithe's always been overshadowed due to my preference for Vulpix, so the two of them working together, the fox and the hound, would be sweet~ ♥

Meh...: Why do I not feel all that hyped up for the Arceus movie? D: I don't know, I just can't get that excited about it. If Palkia & Dialga from Movie 10 were any indication, having them again along with Giratina and Arceus and probably Heatran would be the equivilent of watching two freshly painted houses across the street from another to see who would dry first. It'll be stagnate anyway. Geez, only crummy Pokemon movies would make apopcalyptic showdowns between titans as exciting as two boxers deciding to both take a nap on the ring.

Gods I sound like a cynic. I'm just tired of having my expectations not met and being constantly disappointed, okay? Ah, college. What has thou done to thee? I'm sorry about my behavior... I don't blame you if you're irritated or uncomfortable.

Doctor ordered: Two doses of Maxalt-MLT. Two doses of Antivert. Keeping an eye on fever. Keeping an eye on everything. Taking a nap. Things are okay.

If I don't go tonight I have assured transportation at 8 am tomorrow to the Emergency Room, where I will be poked and prodded and tapped and scanned and we will find out what the hell is going on here.

...leave me cute macros and links to look at between tests? (I think I will need a lot of hot chicks and hot dudes to look at after that tap) Much appreciated!

[18:25] evilpeppermint: watching it was like
[18:26] evilpeppermint: the equivalent of david lynch driving by your house, stopping, shitting on your lawn and then leaving again
[18:26] evilpeppermint: inexplicably
[18:26] kamehamepwned: ....doesn't he do that anyway?

Not that punctuality isn't important but usually I tend to be only a little early. Today however, I am extremely early to school and don't know what to do with myself. ( whine whine ) Also, I need to start getting back into the habit of a normal bedtime. I go to sleep late, wake up late, and feel tired all day... then hate myself at night because suddenly I'm awake. It sucks.

Apologies in advance for being whiney/boring. Oh yeah and eventually I will re-vamp my layout. Much as I love Kanon-san something needs to be done... new graphics plz anyone? Expect a new layout sometime next week.

Hey, I know it's been a long time, I now can go on the internet whenever I want, lol, I now have it hooked up in my room with my own computer, lol... So I hope to be on more.

The Neurologist Called In Today. While getting ready for Emergency Room, the nurse called and said that there is an eight hour wait at the Emergency Room, and that at this point, it would only cause worse damage to wait there and try to handle it. Which, um, yeah, ow, I agree. They are calling in one last rescue med that did work in the past in the goddamn hopes it works until tomorrow, but if that shit doesn't work, I'll take the fucking wait.

They also attempted to tell me that my psychiatrist agreed to have me temporarily take 200mg of lamictal morning and night instead of total, but hahahahaha considering 250 of lamictal sends me into a nearly hospitalization worthy manic mode, FUCK THAT SHIT UP A CREEK.

I *am* going either later tonight or tomorrow at 8 am, screw their shit. But if this stuff works for a night, I'll take a night of respite before I have to spend all day tomorrow being poked and prodded.

When this is all said and done, new neurologist and new psychiatrist. Seriously, fuck.

Anyway, I have this all under control at this point, and won't be stupid and not go in if I need to. But the matter at the moment is that it honestly is better to be at home for a few hours, if Maxalt works. If it doesn't, well. Then it's time for that ambulance.

The last story he tells. That one.

So Puri was on Hydra System so she could level up her Squibies. One of the links in Link Exchange sent me to MyBrute.com, so now I have accidentally made this adorable Ayla look-a-like.

Serendipity, 'cause she's too damn cute for me to leave alone! Click away and give her pupils so she can grow big and strong~ ♥

A quick update - sorry I haven't been around much. The good news is I've successfully passed my first accelerated organic chemistry course. Bad news is I'm starting my second one and this time there is a co-requisite lab. Some more good news though, I think I've finally come to a decision on my graduate school dilemma... four months to save and travel... now I just need to work more hours or get a second job. Something.

Anyway I'm slowly getting out of my depressive groove. We'll see how things turn out. I'm trying to keep myself busy so that's basically the reason you may not have heard from me. More updates soon. Tired right now... oh yeah and people who I owe letters... they're coming. Be patient.

♥Yen

There are music discs for the Space-Time Tower to play from Rise of Darkrai. If they powered a disc containing Nursery Cryme from Silent Hill 2, I will be slain from hardcore amazing.

Meanwhile, let my icon stress how much I love pokedressing .

being knocked out for the night by imitrex, motrin, and flexeril. sister is sending me to er tomorrow after i wake up from that. will report more lataer.

v. v. mad that my two month streak of nevergoing in (excepting the one red zone asthma attack because they did notHing for it) is being broken. ffkff.

can someone shoot my migraines now okay see it hasnt responded to

*prednisone
*motrin
*aspirin
*ibuprofen
*flexeril
*imitrex
*indocin
*tpi

the fuck is this, man. the. fuck. is. this.