My parents talk to me about my sexuality... tears ensue....
As much as I would like to put a play-by-play of what was said yesterday when my parents decided to have a big conversation about "my sexuality" but I just can't. I almost feel like I haven't processed the entire conversation yet. Numb, almost.
So basically this is the jist of what happened:
My mom is disturbed by the entire situation. My mother has only slept with one man (my dad) in her entire life...just to give you an idea of where she is coming from. She said so many hurtful things. It is SO upsetting to hear my mom intentionally trying to hurt me because she is the nicest person ever. That is not an exageration, my mom dosen't like to hurt people. To hear something like "god knows how many people she's been with," come out of her mouth is just horrible.
My dad, who has had a much more 'colorful' past, I think more dosen't understand. No negativity, he just dosen't get it. He was the one who was asking me the (albeit embrassing) smart questions, trying to understand how I felt and what brought me to this decision.
My dad said something kind of awesome at the end of it all. He turned to my mom "there is a guy at my work who is a transexual he's going to get all the surgery. You'd have to be really fucking crazy to do that OR you'd have to be in so much pain the way you are, that is the only way to make you feel better. I can't imagine how awful that must be to go through. So saying that what she is going through is real...think about what she must have gone through what she IS going through right now."
They said they need time to "get use to the idea." But they both said they still loved me...not really a good enough band-aid at the time.
The end result of the conversation:
I am moving out. (I already made this decision before talking to my parents) Because I can't make my parents uncomfortable under their own roof. Plus I need to have space where I can be myself and not worry about my family. Also I'm not bringing people I'm dating to family events anymore. I'm completely taking my family about of my dating life. Which is fine with me. If I end up being with someone for more than a year then I'll bring him/her around and my family will have to fucking deal.
It was crazy because I ran into all the steriotypical misconceptions about bisexuality you see everywhere - it's all about sex, this is a phase, why don't you choose?....etc. It really showed me how important it is to stick with Biversity Boston to help educate people about bisexuality. I really want there to be a day where sexuality isn't something you have to stick up for anymore, where no matter who you are with the people who love you are happy for you.
Now I just can't wait to move out. I actually think I'm going to speed up my efforts. I just need to get out of here. I feel like I can't breath.
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