Dear PC,
When your barbarian is acting ass-pants crazy*, please don't attempt to hold the DM hostage with "I won't play anymore if you do this" when the paladin is going to coup de grace you for attacking the druid and sorcerer unprovoked* (and bringing the sorcerer to negative hp)* and i will let him keep his alignment.
No love,
Me, your first time DM

*Cut slimes into pieces until they were diminutive and then ate them and pooped and peed in the corners of the basement lab you claimed as your bedroom, are pretty good indicators of being ass-pants crazy.

**Paladin was suffering from confusion, attacked the barbarian because he thought he was a tentacle monster. Druid healed paladin after barbarian retaliated. When sorcerer and druid where within range, barbarian cleaved from them to paladin because otherwise he would only get 1 hit in.

EDIT: Also, don't be surprised if i say, "No, you're evil AND A WHORE," when you are playing your CN alignment as CE.

Hello, all. I’ve got a few more old-ish complaints, because for whatever reason I’m fortunate enough not to have any recent ones. Huzzah!

( Sueness here )


( But wait, there's more! )


Sincerely,
Me.

Your character struck up a conversation with mine in the hub of activity in this RP (a cafe). This is okay.

My character, who is an overly sensitive and extremely dramatic person, left in a huff after an imagined insult. She storms out onto the street outside to cool off, half-wanting to be followed so she could create a scene. This is also okay, if a little predictable on my part.

The thing that isn't okay here? That's when you try to continue the conversation with her without leaving the cafe, and keep sending me frowny-face tells about "omg, why aren't you responding, what is wrong with this woooooorld" and promptly block me as I try to respond with "she is outside, she cannot hear you, your character has feet too".

It's minor and kinda weird, but this is the kind of persistent lack of reading that makes this RP not a whole lot of fun lately.

Dear fellow D&D player:

( Just because we want magic items and character wealth does not make us powergamers who can't RP. It just means we want to not be useless. )

Good grief, woman. Not only have you butchered Bast mercilessly (I will cut a bitch if I see any more macros of Robert Pattinson from that character, I swear), not only do you pester people endlessly with "your character should do this! :DDD", not only do you think characters should have some super speshul powers not at all related to their aspect, but you just. won't. drop. it. I'm beginning to fear my AIM window popping up with a crazed sequence of beeps, because most of the time it's you and your abuse of the Enter key.

Also, after you make a rather inappropriate suggestion for a PB, please don't go and say "I just really, really, really want to see her played" on the comm, and then follow suit with another "REALLY REALLY REALLY" fest on AIM. You know what? Nobody cares. If someone wants to PB her, they will, but your "OMG WANT EEET" flailing won't help it none. "She's too creepy to go unloved"? So what? Does that mean we have to PB the whole Addams Family set as well?

I wish you would leave me to build my LEGOs in peace.

We're using a chatroom for our RP that does not pop up with "User is typing" messages.


Just because we haven't replied yet doesn't mean we're not going to. STOP REPEATING YOURSELF.



Also, other user: THE IV NEEDLE IS THERE FOR A REASON. Injured Character wants to remove it because he's a whiny bitch. Injured character's girlfriend won't let him because IT'S THERE FOR A REASON. IF SOMEONE HAS AN IV NEEDLE IN THEIR ARM, YOU DON'T TAKE IT OUT!



RRRR.


ahh, that felt good.


EDIT: I just realised that I didn't word what I said very well. ;; What I meant was, Injured Dude's Girlfriend wouldn't let him take out the IV - so Random Dude Who Met Us Last Night takes it out. And he's not a doctor/nurse. :I

Get a comfy chair and possible some snacks, oh you peoples of BRPS. I bring you a two-for-one. Half rants, half observations.

Rantish Observation the First:

I have come to determine that generally, there are two mindsets when it comes to those who RP. I call them the RPers, and the Fic Writers. Now, this isn't to say that rpers can't be fic writers, or that fic writers can't be rpers. The two do blend, and as I've often seen, they can blend extremely well. But sometimes old habits die hard, and the ficcers get in over their heads.

There are some key differences, you see. The rpers know that the game, the roleplay, is an overall story of all the characters, all the interactions, all the plots... it is everybody's world, no character any more important than the next. They are in it for the story, the ride, the long haul, the whatever you want to call it. And then sometimes you get a stubborn ficcer (a motherficcer, if you will) who is completely out of their element. They are there for their character's story, and in that, they are the narrator, the story-teller, the Jesus, Buddha, and Zeus. Their character is the main character, because they're writing it, and everyone else's characters, plots, and needs are of a lesser priority.

One of the worst traits I have found in motherficcers are the needs to control everything. Those who play scenes out in their head, before they are written, without taking silly little things into account like, oh, say, how the other characters might react. And then it comes time to play the scene out, and, omgosh! People just don't react right! They RUINED your scene! THEY PLAYED IT WRONG!

Or worse, the rampant wangstbeast motherficcers who have decided not to sit idly by and let other characters ruin their vision. These beastly motherficcers who decide the best way to not let other players fuck up a good story is to try and tell them how it should be played properly. And then when these other players, these peons in your perfect world, dare to refuse – well, naturally there's only one sensible option. Through an epic shitfit, whine in every possible public forum, wangst about how mean everyone is to you, and occasionally flounce entirely.

Listen, you thundercunt motherficcers. If you can't handle the stresses of things like 'other people' and 'free will', why in the seven bloody hells are you even here? Go back to your fic, and your perfect little world that you control. We don't want you in ours. If you require an audience and must come play in our sandbox, do it with a shred of dignity and etiquette, and STFU and STFD.

Rantish Observation the Second:

In this respect, and the observation of countless motherficcers over the years, I have come to think it is generally a bad idea for a writer to play their novel/fiction characters in a roleplay setting – particularly those they've been writing for years. You may love them, and you may love writing them, and you may be terribly attached to them – but really, isn't that all the more reason to keep them in an environment that can't fuck everything up for you?

Think about it. Your novel character has always been in your environment, with your rules. Some times these characters don't translate and transplant well into other sandboxes. And you must take into account that, like it or not, not everyone is going to like your precious shnookums. Both IC and OOC. Before you transplant, ask yourself: can you handle that? If there's even the slightest chance you can't, if a single hair stands up on the back of your neck or the slightest uncomfortable flip of your stomach, don't do it. It will probably end badly.

If you have built up a character so grandly in your head, idolized them, babied them, loved them more fiercely than any character you have ever written in your own fiction, you may not be prepared for other peoples opinions on him/her.

For instance, your precious novel character, who you describe as 'intense', 'tragic', and 'heroic' may be perceived by other characters as more along the lines of 'annoying', 'a crybaby', and 'functionally retarded'. Ask yourself: are you ready for that? Can you handle such a thing without going home to your own tear-stained diary and wangsting about how everybody is always picking on you, and someday you'll publish your story, and THEN THEY'LL ALL BE SORRY MWUHAHAHAHA, like a sad-assed Batman character reject with a shitty origins story?

No? You can't.

Then you may also: STFU, and STFD.

In the beginning, there was the Q, and he was good. He created an RP for original characters on the new forum features for a certain original fiction website. There were no real rules for entering, other than the need to make an intro thread, and all of the given rules were common sense for ease of play, and it was good. All those that entered read the rules and played characters they felt the need to develop, all interesting with several dynamics played against each other. It was fun, and fast-paced, and exciting.

Then real life happened to many of the original players... Some, like the creator, dropped off the radar completely. Others had to go at the game at a slower pace between posts, and the main thread, where new people entered, lay dormant. The older players, lamenting the state of things put in a couple of new characters, hoping to revive what had once been and encourage new people to join. And it worked, at least somewhat. A new group of players joined the fold, all fairly decent writers and RPers, and much fun was had by all.

But... then came another lull, and a new breed of player joined... game-breakers. Taking advantage of the relaxed rules, the new breed began entering millions of modern, cracky characters into a medieval tavern. They replaced the well-established NPC bar man with a new PC, and generally ran around the whole establishment like ants, adding things there was no reason for as they had already been established, and filling one area with tons of characters played by the same person so that anyone that entered could have no choice but play with the shallow, one-trick characters. It was the death of any interesting character development, at least in the main thread, and the last straw for me. I stopped playing there, and kept to my long-established side quests that had been going for quite some time with some of the older players.

However, some of my friends continued attempting to play in the main thread, long past my point of patience with what it had become. Tonight, however, was the last straw with the last one. She has officially stated that it has gone to hell. With the entrance of a fandom character from Okami, a catgirl who drinks "soki", a guy with an author avatar who's teh awesomest animu drawer evah!, people who show ooc knowledge and give ooc advice ic, and all the rest of it, I am inclined to agree.

Rest in peace, dear tavern. We knew ye well.

ETA: This links to someone's picture of "their character". It made me lawl because of how badly they photoshopped a ganked generic anime pic. Enjoy the thoughts of hidden back braces! http://tinypic.com/view.php?pic=2ib1942&s=6

You, new person, already jumped on the band-wagon to bother me the second you saw me on the game with 'OMG WE SHOULD HAVE A RELATIONSHIP AND HISTORY TOGETHER!', because you are a fangirl of my character.

I politely decline because I don't know you, and your grammar failure is not winning me over.

You politely accept. I think its done with, but then you turn around and ask me to write the app for you.


So, lets recap: You get a canon character, fangirl over mine and ask to be in a relationship/have history with mine (not needed per canon). I decline, then you ask me to write part of your application for you because you don't know the character you're apping.

This is very much fangirl fail.

Dear Champions Online RP community.

You guys all suck. No, really.

( Long-winded rant under the cut )

Am I the only person who thinks it's totally inappropriate IC action for someone's character to take another character who has come to them asking about magic lessons, grab them, put them on their lap and start stroking their cheek? Please tell me I'm not. Please.

EDIT: The person doing this is the same one from my last post, with a new character. I just...every single thing they do has this creepy sort of "Get in my car and sit on my lap, little girl, I have candy!" vibe.

I'm pretty sure Billy has lightning powers. If he had lightening powers, he would possess the ability to make things weigh less (or possibly become less dark).

Also, it's Dumbledore, not Dumbledoor. The clue would have been in the username, and in the way it was spelt correctly in the opening post and in every comment in reply to yours.

*the perennial your/you're, then/than etc rants go here*

Hello, you lovely, lovely, ranting people. God, it's been good to go through logs here and see people suffer and bitch and moan about the same sort of stuff that gets me down.

So you're ever-so-lucky to have me regale you with my own whining. Go you.

I'd sock this, but the circumstances are too particular so they'd likely be recognised regardless. If I'm caught... fuckit. Might be funny. Thus, without further ado...


( The Ballad of Princess Butthurt )


(tl;dr: Don't get butthurt OOC for IC conflict. And don't be a GM who protects his girlfriend from said conflict)

If your post comes with the OoC comment "I know this is going to get me in trouble for breaking the rules, but..."

... Why did you post it anyway?

You're lovely and all, one of the nicest people I've met through roleplaying, but it kind of amazes me how right after I sort of made it clear that my character wouldn't be into something long term with your character or anyone else for that matter, you've stopped replying to our thread, but have been replying non-stop to the thread with the character yours is supposed to hook up with. I get you wanting a romantic relationship for your kid (even though it seems like it's the ONLY thing you want for any of your characters, but to each his own I suppose), but come on. It's just kind of douchey to simply stop replying to what's not important for that plot, isn't it? At least tell me you're not feeling the scene anymore, I'd be okay with that. But not even that much? It's a bit shit.

Seriously, I don't mind playing second fiddle to another person's hero story. Honestly, I don't. Sometimes it's fun just to be a sidekick and to see where another person is going.

But if you're going to do that, you at least need to make room for those sidekicks in your story. It can't be all The Baddest Badass Ever show, it has to be The Baddest Badass Ever and Friends. And even that gets tiring after awhile. Although in your case, it's more that you keep rambling about these elaborate plans you have and how it's going to be the best storyline ever only for things to be rather... predictable and boring.

Similarly, please learn to take a joke OOC. We all make snide comments about each other's characters, because it's a funny way to highlight their weaknesses. Your badass dude isn't the greatest at social situations - c'mon, his Charisma is, what, 3? - so of course we're going to joke about him being not-so-charming. One joke is not cause to flip out, especially when we are clearly joking about the character. An hour-long bout of peevishness and obvious grudginess today because you "took it personally" because your characters are "part of yourself" is not called for.

And seriously? All of our characters are, what, level 2? I realize that play-by-post and game mechanics don't mesh too well, but we already agreed (since this is a Fallout-based game) that no characters are Vault Dweller badasses who can just come in and tear shit up. We're all Wastelanders, which means that sure, our characters might get powerful, but that'll be at level 20, not at level 2. I can swallow unrealistic shit like ~*yellow eyes*~ which make your character ~*so mysterious*~ (because hey, I'm not exactly playing the most realistic character ever with my lolferalchild guy - the fact that he can even somewhat participate in society is totally unrealistic)... but come on, the level system's there for a reason.

P.S. To another person: if you want to hear whispered conversations from 2 rooms away perfectly clearly, perhaps consider not having a Perception stat of 2.

Look. It's very well and good that you have some grasp on psychology. That's grand. It's a useful subject. But your character cannot.

Why? Well, in the setting, in the country he was born in, no one has the slightest clue what it is. Insanity is put down to things like possession, clones, duplicates, impostors, mind-control poisons, and that sort of thing. Considering as all of these things actually do happen in this setting, our medics understandably haven't bothered with developing it too much since it works out to be a physical cause anyway. And because they have no concept of it.

None. At all.

So your character, he is not going to wander off to another country and run back with notepapers exclaiming that he found the secret of insanity and establish the branch entirely on his own for several reasons.

1) It would require a great deal of proof, for starters, for anyone born and raised in your character's country to even accept that there could be medical causes, since medicine is physical damage as far as they're concerned.
2) He would have to actually care enough to ask about something he already thinks he knows.
3) He would have to be able to care and figure out enough to explain the concept to his countrymen. Who also wouldn't be too willing to listen, or care, because again, they think they know already.

Now I'm not saying it can't happen eventually (that's what we have medical research potential for, after all), just for the love of god, don't come back with Psych 101 in a book overnight. And if you do, expect them to call your character nuts.

( Dear prospective players )

(tl;dr: Please: (1) Acknowledge the plot even if you don't try to advance it, (2) have your characters to something (anything!) and (3) interact with each other.)

You accommodating hopeful GM and friend.

You. Yes, you, the dickhead in the dressing room.

Yes, I get that this isn't a formal game, and that it's pretty much free range. I also get that your character is a sadistic bastard who's in the mood to drain and/or kill whoever he comes across. I gave you free range to do whatever you wanted to my character except kill him. You seemed fine with that.

So why the hell did I go to reply to our thread and find that you'd deleted the entire thing?! And not the entire post, just our thread. If you were getting bored, you could have told me or even just dropped the thing. But that was my writing you deleted too, which pushes you straight into dickhead status.

Growls and hisses,
Me

If you are running a tabletop RPG, an hour or two before the game is NOT the appropriate time to fall asleep. The GM for the two games I'm playing now has done this more than once.

Also relevant to the same group of people: If your girlfriend/boyfriend is not going to play seriously, don't bring him/her to the session. We played an In Nomine oneshot on Friday, and the GM's girlfriend likes to play psychopaths. Within the first 2 minutes, she got the party attacked because she was shooting random NPCs. GM kicked her out of the game, and she spent the rest of the night being bored and whining. I'm afraid our sessions are in trouble with this group. The games have gotten too big, and there are several people who are either loud and hog the GM's attention or play stupid characters that wreck the scenario and get the party in trouble. This is the reason I'm starting to hate "crossover" White Wolf campaigns. We were playing Inquisitor and had (at various times) 3 Changelings, 2 Geists, and one werewolf. We also had Changelings in previous Vampire sessions, and one guy got kicked out for trying to play a character who was secretly a demon. There are 3 couples involved in the RP group, and two of them really need to leave the PDA at home.

Bonus gripe: My roommates and a few friends have started a D&D campaign, and although they know I play, did not invite me for some reason. Two of them even asked "Don't you have your own games to play?"