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How does one meet new people?

  • Mar. 24th, 2008 at 7:56 AM
I know this sounds like a silly question, but I've been in Austin since the summer and I haven't made any friends! Part of it is due to my shyness and part of it is due to my work schedule. I had hoped that I would make friends through work, but unfortunately I work with all middle age women that are obsessed with celebrity gossip and American Idol. I go out to see bands a lot and the few times I've tried to strike up conversations with people they acted uninterested or snobby. So! Would someone like to adopt me as a friend? I know that sounds desperate, but I'm tired of staying cooped up in my apartment!

Comments

[info]scorpionis wrote:
Mar. 24th, 2008 01:28 pm (UTC)
Try the community and arts section in the Chronicle: look for events related to what you're interested in. You'll have a higher chance of striking up a conversation with someone with similar interests.
[info]tasty_mangoes wrote:
Mar. 24th, 2008 01:33 pm (UTC)
Try taking a class for something you're interested in.
[info]chuque wrote:
Mar. 24th, 2008 01:39 pm (UTC)
How does one meet new people?

Oddly this came up twice this weekend in my circle of friends.

My answer to both was "persistence"

So you went out a struck up a conversation a few times and based on a bar side chat it didn't work out? Keep at it! Talk to everyone; I have made acquaintances and from there formed real friendships by meeting people everywhere there are people. I would say that the ratio of people I speak with Vs. the ones that become friends with is well below 1%

Talk to people it's really the only way. I am a horridly shy person, but that is something I wanted to change about myself and I took the "fake it till you make it" approach, I am still a shy person, but now I am they shy person that says "hi" to the person behind me in line at the grocery store for no reason other than to be friendly.

Here's a quick project for you. You say you are new to town and like the bar/music scene here. Go out and learn your bartenders names, ask them who their cool regulars are. Then next time call them by their names and see how well that works towards getting over your shyness.
[info]tomydingo wrote:
Mar. 25th, 2008 01:36 pm (UTC)
thanks for the tip! :)
[info]aeryn42 wrote:
Mar. 24th, 2008 01:54 pm (UTC)
What are your interests and hobbies?
[info]the_reviews wrote:
Mar. 24th, 2008 02:01 pm (UTC)
www.meetup.com there are over 200 meetups a week of anything and everything you can possibly imagine. Just look up Austin and your interests, and you will find people meeting up every week to do anything.
[info]tomydingo wrote:
Mar. 25th, 2008 01:36 pm (UTC)
sweet. i signed up for that yesterday and already joined a group. for some reason, i always associated that site with people meeting up for high school reunions...
[info]benson3 wrote:
Mar. 24th, 2008 02:10 pm (UTC)
Well tell us about yourself. I would offer friendship but what if you are a Republican reprobate or a tomato killer?
[info]wumbawoman wrote:
Mar. 24th, 2008 05:17 pm (UTC)
Agreed.

To the OP,
I went to check out your profile and nothing. Also you have no entries. I'm not really interested in friending someone on LJ who doesn't update.
[info]tomydingo wrote:
Mar. 25th, 2008 01:37 pm (UTC)
i wasn't really looking for LJ friends. I actually gave up posting entries a few months ago. The only reason I continue to have my account is to read the austin community or get updates from my friends that still use their journals.
[info]mtb0001 wrote:
Mar. 24th, 2008 02:16 pm (UTC)
Try contra dancing! Everyone is friendly, and it's great exercise too. http://www.austincontradance.org
[info]zenithblue wrote:
Mar. 24th, 2008 04:50 pm (UTC)
I've been wondering about Austin contra dance lately--I'm a relatively recent transplant too. Is it pretty comfortable? I did it in Portland and it was rapidly becoming a meat market there, weirdly enough. I want to go dance and meet people and not have to be concerned about "leading people on" all night.
[info]mtb0001 wrote:
Mar. 24th, 2008 05:11 pm (UTC)
Eww! I've danced in Portland a couple of times and didn't notice that. I wouldn't say it's a problem in Austin. I'm married, but my single friends who contra dance haven't indicated that they feel uncomfortable at all. I know a few couples who've met through contra dancing, though. I think our dancers are generally respectful of boundaries and know to leave the flirting on the dance floor but not try to take it further. If it'd make you more comfortable, let me know some time when you're going and I'll look out for ya. We have a fabulous, free upcoming Dance in the Park at the Zilker Hillside Theater (donations to band appreciated) on Sun. 3/30.
[info]zenithblue wrote:
Mar. 24th, 2008 05:53 pm (UTC)
Hey thanks! I'll see if I can make it to that next one...I've been missing it a lot lately.

(My problem might just be that I'm a freak magnet, honestly. I think Portland is by and large pretty comfortable but the tiny handful of skeezy men always seem to find me regardless.)
[info]mtb0001 wrote:
Mar. 24th, 2008 05:58 pm (UTC)
I can't think of any skeezy local dancers -- well, maybe one, but he's nearing 70 so we cut him a little slack. Just remember it's okay to turn anyone down if you feel skeeved out. :) There's been an influx of college-aged dancers in the past few months, so it feels a little more like Portland to me... the Houston/Dallas dance communities have an older demographic, which is okay, just different energy.
[info]tomydingo wrote:
Mar. 25th, 2008 01:38 pm (UTC)
sounds interesting. i may give it a shot!
[info]texasoddity wrote:
Mar. 24th, 2008 03:43 pm (UTC)
Become a regular someplace!

Its funny... just this weekend a friend and I were talking about an "add_me_austin" type group because we've all asked that question at some point...
[info]gavagirl wrote:
Mar. 24th, 2008 03:56 pm (UTC)
I've always liked coffeeshops for low-effort socializing. There are scads of them all over town, and they seem to attract somewhat different crowds and have their own "feel". Find one that seems to attract people who look interesting to you and become a regular. See what happens.
[info]tomydingo wrote:
Mar. 25th, 2008 01:39 pm (UTC)
I've heard good things about Pacha, so I went there yesterday after work, but only to find out it closes at 7. Damn!
[info]gavagirl wrote:
Mar. 25th, 2008 04:31 pm (UTC)
Epoch is 24/7 if you're looking up north, and has a pretty friendly and varied crowd; and Spiderhouse (open very late), which can be a bit hipster-ish but also attracts plenty of other folks of you are not hipster-ish yourself.
[info]lovehungryman wrote:
Mar. 24th, 2008 06:11 pm (UTC)
welcome to austin!
[info]darbielou wrote:
Mar. 25th, 2008 04:48 am (UTC)
This does not sound silly or desperate! If you scroll down this page some I posted almost the exact same post a few days ago. So I added you check out my page and my interests and we will go from there. I work very odd hours as well, I am in the hotel industry and my schedule is forever changing, and it makes it hard. I was also not "allowed" to make friends at the last hotel I was at b/c I was a manager and managers cannot hang out with associates. Consider yourself adopted. LOL
[info]darbielou wrote:
Mar. 25th, 2008 04:50 am (UTC)
Oh and by the way, I noticed somebody mentioned meetup.com, I have joined that and it is fun and somewhat successful. I will warn, stay positive with meetup.com, it is sometimes hard with an odd schedule.
[info]chris_buzzard wrote:
Mar. 25th, 2008 02:11 pm (UTC)
Hey, welcome to the clique...ooops I mean music capital or the world.
[info]broadbander wrote:
Mar. 25th, 2008 08:22 pm (UTC)
I've met most of my Austin friends at club events. Charlies, OCH, ELysium, etc.
[info]datalopez wrote:
Mar. 26th, 2008 03:53 am (UTC)
Glad you posted this. I am new (somewhat) too, but don't get out and about much to meet people. Now I know!

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