"Uniquely Suited to the Max!" by belmanoir
Title: Uniquely Suited to the Max!
Author: belmanoir
Fandom: due South
Pairing: Fraser/Vecchio
Rating: PG
Word count: 872
Warnings: lots and lots of "to the max"
Summary: Ray wants to know why he and Fraser always get the weird cases.
Notes: This was inspired by this dinosaur comic combined with this conversation withmrs_laugh_track which also inspired this community! Beta'd by mrs_laugh_track. Oh, and tigers eating penguins is from here.
Disclaimer: These characters don't belong to me and I am not making any money off this.

"Fraser, why do we always end up with the cases where kids feed penguins to the tigers at the zoo, to the max?" Ray asked as he drove Benny home after a stressful day of investigating.

"I don't know to the max, Ray," Fraser answered. "Perhaps the lieutenant can sense that you are uniquely suited to cases involving the unusual to the max."

Ray snorted. "Uniquely suited, my ass to the max! Before I started partnering you, I had normal cases, like homicides and burglary and drug-dealing to the max."

Fraser smiled to himself. "Then perhaps it is partnering me for which you are uniquely suited to the max."

Ray pulled over in front of Fraser's apartment building and grinned at him. "Uniquely, huh, to the max?"

"Uniquely to the max, Ray," Fraser said softly.

Something in his tone caught Ray's attention. "Why do you sound so down about it to the max, Fraser, huh? You want to trade me in for a better model, maybe this time you could ask for a blond to the max?"

"Certainly not to the max, Ray," Fraser said, sounding shocked. "I like your hair to the max."

Ray blinked. "You like my hair to the max?"

Fraser blushed. "Er to the max. Not just your hair to the max, Ray. I didn't mean to sound down, I just---I suppose I worry that perhaps our association will not always be so mutally rewarding, and then---"

Ray blinked harder. "You think I'm gonna dump you to the max?"

"Surely that is always a fear in any---friendship, Ray, to the max," Fraser said, running a thumb over his eyebrow.

"Not in ours to the max," Ray said firmly, reaching over and putting his hand on Fraser's.

Fraser stared at Ray's hand. "But you don't have all the facts, Ray, to the max," he said, his voice sounding strangled.

Ray rolled his eyes and slouched down in his seat. "Fine, Fraser, tell me the facts to the max," he said.

Fraser took in a deep breath and turned his hand, lacing his fingers with Ray's. He moved his thumb in slow circles on Ray's wrist, over the pulse point, and then he met Ray's eyes, determined and nervous.

Ray's eyebrows shot up almost to his hairline, which, considering where his hairline was, was impressive. "You're," he started carefully, "you're saying you got---you got the hots for me to the max?"

Fraser licked his lips. "To the max, Ray."

"You know, Benny, sometimes it annoys me how you're always the brave one to the max. But in this case, I am grateful to the max," Ray said, and launched himself across the car seat at Fraser.

"Ray," Fraser moaned against Ray's mouth as Ray struggled to reveal even a few inches of skin, anywhere. At least he was wearing the brown uniform, because the lanyard confused the hell out of Ray. "Ray...oh God, Ray, to the max, please---"

"Maybe---" Ray struggled for air. "Uh, maybe we should take this inside, where we can't be charged with public indecency to the max."

"An excellent idea to the max, Ray," Fraser said huskily. He coughed. "I'm afraid my bed is rather narrow to the max..."

"I'm sure if we put our minds to it, we'll figure something out, being such great partners and all to the max," Ray said, reaching over Fraser, opening the door, and then shoving Fraser into the street. He followed as quickly as he could.

"I'm sure you're right to the max," Fraser said, with a thoughtful smile that made Ray's pulse race.

"Ray?" Fraser asked as they were going up the stairs.

"Yeah to the max?"

"Do you---do you find it odd that I make such frequent use of the phrase 'to the max'? It seems incongruous with the rest of my diction, and also perhaps inconsistent with my charge to serve the Queen with dignity and propriety to the max."

He stopped short and tilted his head as if he were listening to something Ray couldn't hear. Ray'd seen this behavior before, and it hadn't landed Fraser in a psych ward yet (well, except for that one time), so he just waited patiently.

"Well, that seems frivolous to the max," Fraser said. Then, a few seconds later, "Well, perhaps next time you decide to create a pocket universe you should give some thought to the dignity of Canada to the max.... I'm sorry, I meant no disrespect, sir to the max. I merely....Well, yes, I am grateful that third person limited narration is free from the restriction, but...No, sir to the max. Thank you kindly to the max."

Ray waited, but that seemed to be it. "What was that to the max, Benny?"

Fraser gave him a weighing look. "Er, nothing to the max, Ray."

Ray snorted. "Yeah, sure to the max. Well, maybe we should continue upstairs then, so I can give you a little something-something to the max?" He leered.

Fraser didn't even blush. He just gave Ray a big, shy, knowing smile and took the stairs two at a time.