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Saturday, July 26th, 2008
secondhandlies
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12:06p
Yesterday was a really good day, court, ice cream, cards, japanese food and alot of love later, I found myself filled with this certain blissfulness I haven't felt for awhile.
There were of course disappointing moments, I'll just say that I wasn't very impressed by the way certain people reacted to the circumstances, I think it's quite pathetic how some people think they're so righteous when they're really no better than the rest of us.
I realised taking care of a dog is just about as demanding as everyone said it would be, but it's still immensely rewarding nonetheless.
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(comment on this) Friday, July 25th, 2008
(comment on this)
abbeydawn
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2:08p
what did jackie learn today?
1. getting a crown at the dentist hurts like a bitch (afterwards)
2. vicodin makes everything better
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(3 comments | comment on this) Tuesday, July 22nd, 2008
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notsoandimo
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11:30p
22: the best year of my life.
Time to make amends.
Time to make things right.
I guess I really need to write.
It's just certain things that have been bothering me lately.
A reevaluation of some sort.
Looking back...I'm starting to wonder if the past was really worth it.
You know...the span from 18-19 to reaching 22.
Was it worth the pain, betrayal, tears, laughter, fights, jokes, mixed feelings I endured?
I just don't know what it is or why I am thinking about it...
but maybe it is because I never had the answers I have now.
I betrayed several friends throughout that whole period.
In fact, I'd say I betrayed ALL of my friends because I neglected and I ignored anything they told me.
In my head, it sounded SO reasonable but my heart yearned for everyone to be incorrect.
I appreciate everything I gained...the friends, the knowledge, the extended family, the support system, the love from my parents and family, the time certain people gave me in times when I felt lost.
I would say that I just wanted to be loved and I wasn't satisfied completely ever.
To this day, I still feel like I was gypped.
How can someone love another person so much and still feel like they aren't receiving even a third of that emotion?
And that is the ONE thing that I have felt since the end.
Was i gypped? Was it all a lie? Was every single word said to me and the struggle all just a game?
I will never know the answers.
What I do know is...
i'm sorry. not to you.
but to those friends who i betrayed, who i lied to, who i neglected, who i ignored or brushed off:
I am sorry for being horribly inconsiderate.
For all things i did with no consideration to your feelings.
I have never apologized and I just need you to know that I am sorry for ever brushing you off.
I guess the reason I bring this up is because now I feel complete.
I have that unconditional, faithful, loyal, giving, understanding, compassionate love that i see every day in my parents.
And my parents see it. And my family sees it. And my friends see it.
And maybe the past was a recipe that went horribly wrong .
Too much of that, too little of this.
And the fact is... my love is complete.
And i'm just waiting for that phone call to my dad to know that the time has come to seal the deal.
But, one thing is for sure...i will never get straight answers.
And i suppose that is okay.
I suppose that is the way it is supposed to be and was always supposed to be.
I'll never forget your family.
But i'll forget being left unanswered.
I love all of you.
Thanks for everything the past three years.
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(6 comments | comment on this)
justyluv06
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11:39p
i tried to paint you a picture, the colors were all wrong
oh hi, posting twice in like three seconds.
i'm seriously considering buying myself a paid account. if not a paid account, at least more icon space.
because... ok. 6 userpics? COME ON.
i tried a plus account but it fucked up my layout and the ads are ugly.
does anyone with a paid account think it's any better / worth it?
i have so many icons that are begging to be used, but i don't have the heart to get rid of some of the ones i already have. screaming britney will never leave and never will justin laughing his ass off. edward cullen, bitches makes me laugh.. i don't know why, but it does. so that stays. that gives me space for like 3 to rotate.
I HATE BEING A POOR MOTHERFUCKER.
current mood:  annoyed
current music: onerepublic - all we are
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(2 comments | comment on this)
justyluv06
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11:28p
nobody said it was easy, it's such a shame for us to part
um i said i was going to update this more but i haven't. fail. twatlight takes up all my time. i'm serious.
this is going to be the laziest update of my life, jsyk.
i went to york beach for a week with my mom for 4th of july. it was fucking awesome, as usual. jair came up for a night, moira came up for a night, matt and andrew came to visit. GORGEOUS WEATHER. THE END.
me and moira and lauren went on a whale watch. WE SAW SO MANY, OMG. at least 10 humbacks, 2 finn whales, 2 minkies, and 2 SEALS. TWWWOOOOO SEEEAAAAALLLLLLLSSSSSSSSS. it's ok if you're jealous. also, we met this 8 yr old named anna and she was fan-fucking-tastic. we were best friends with her. she was really smart too.
AND OBVIOUSLY I HAVE SEEN THE DARK KNIGHT. if you haven't seen this masterpiece yet, get your ass off the computer and GO. it's seriously so amazing. heath's performance was out of this world, christian bale is FIIIINE, and the psychological context was unexpected but still great. also............................ am i the only one that thinks maggie gyllenhal is fug? because.. she is. i'm sorry. ANYWAY. i've seen the movie twice, it's awesome, i love it, it deserves to be breaking all the records that it is.
i'm going to see coldplay on august 4 with moira, sally, lauren, and kristin AND I AM SO EXCITED.
after coldplay, we're going to see lauren's grandfather up at lake sunapee :):):)
random random random
i want to change my livejournal layout so bad. SO SO BAD. but i haven't had enough time to be creative and i can't stand having something that i didn't make myself. it's obviously going to involve robert pattinson, i just can't find the time to do it.
i swear i had more to talk about, but whatever.
this post was all over the place and idc. IDC.
current mood:  rushed
current music: coldplay - the scientist
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(comment on this)
chiminginapogee
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11:12p
so im asking EVERYONE out of desperation,
I NEED MUSIC
new old everything.
everything was on my external harddrive which is now missing
My old ipod also is no longer turning on at all so I cant take whats on there off even, so i have close to nothing!
please please anythinggggg youre willing to send! zip it up, megaload me the link anything i beg of you all!
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(6 comments | comment on this) Wednesday, July 23rd, 2008
brandxnewxrock
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2:18a
i can't sleep anymore.
for some reason insomnia is kicking my ass.
dunno why.
it's started since this weekend.
or maybe on second thoughts i do know why.
i fucking hate sleeping alone, that really isn't helping at the moment.
someone come sleep next to me? haha.
ughhh i'd kill to fall asleep!
current mood:  awake
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(comment on this) Tuesday, July 22nd, 2008
secondhandlies
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8:53p
I haven't been here for awhile, and it's like everytime I'm here it's only ever when I'm sad or angry. I guess it just reflects the flow of my life of late, it's been a really undulating path I've been taking, and there's probably been alot more downs than ups.
I was happy for awhile today, chasing that ball, I don't know what others think about the game, and I honestly don't care, because to them while this may just be a sport, to me it's so much more. It's the release from the pressures of life, self-imposed or not, it is what fills me up with purpose, and more than anything, fills me up with hope, and the strength to believe in life, and its beauty. Because there is nothing more wonderful in life, than doing the one thing you enjoy the most. And that's the choice that all of us have, in a way that one thing exists in different forms for all people, but in the end, we're all the same in that it is the one thing that so defines us, and so carries us through our lives. And in that way, I am blessed, because I've found that one thing, and nobody is ever going to take it away from me.
I'm too tired to fight for whatever I believe in anymore.
current mood:  tired
current music: Saosin - You're Not Alone
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(comment on this) Monday, July 21st, 2008
(14 comments | comment on this)
boxcargeorgette
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5:56p
baby, will you be my Corona and Lime? and i will be your main squeeze.
manager at Barnes and Noble: "i can't remember my fucking password."
me: "have you tried [the word] fucking?"
manager: types the word fucking into the system..."nope, didn't work. i need a new password."
me: "how about fucking? at least you can remember that."
i must have sounded like a smartass too.
if you haven't, go and see the Dark Knight. you won't regret it. i finally got my bike from my parents. new goal: actually ride it.
current mood:  thirsty
current music: Shwayze - Corona and Lime
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(10 comments | comment on this) Sunday, July 20th, 2008
(comment on this)
jjofriends
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8:47p
Facebook and Bees.
I'm at the Post tonight, where technology is both a blessing and a curse. The Web is slowly killing the business model of the paper, but at the same time the Web is quite a useful tool. Just tonight I received a contributed picture that had no identification. All I knew was the names of the three guys in the pic, and the fact that they went to a certain high school. The high school Web site helped me identify one of them, but I was stuck on the other two. In a moment of clarity, I searched Facebook for the two names, was able to match one, and therefore finished ID'ing the guys. Occasionally I don't feel dumb; this is one of those times.
In other news, my apartment (or at least Casey and Amanda's room) is infested with bees. Two people have been stung while in their bedroom. Oddly, we have no problems in our room as of yet, but maintenance has been called. Blech.
current mood:  busy
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