The Perky Goth ([info]theperkygoth) wrote in [info]askpoly,
@ 2007-04-17 20:11:00
Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Current location:Birmingham UK
Current mood: curious

Anyone out there who identifies as...
mono-amorous and polysexual? Just curious. My BF (who is also my Master and very very very occasionally my sub) and I were talking and decided that was the best description of where we are now. Hope this isn't outside the remit of the group...

(x-posted to [info]polyamorous, [info]polyamory, and [info]askpoly)


Advertisement

(Post a new comment)

And the very big risk of starting a flamewar...
[info]edwarddain
2007-04-17 07:40 pm UTC (link)
Not particularly, but what you're describing is the way that many Swingers would describe themselves.

Nothing wrong with that at all btw, whatever floats both of your boats.

;-)

(Reply to this)(Thread)
Re: And the very big risk of starting a flamewar...
[info]theperkygoth
2007-04-17 08:00 pm UTC (link)
No flames from here :) As I said in other comments on one of the other journals I crossposted to, swinging to me implies fairly casual sex with other people (not that there is anything wrong with that) whereas my partner and I play and have sex with close friends. I'm just interested in sparking debate and discussion, really.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)
Re: And the very big risk of starting a flamewar...
[info]edwarddain
2007-04-17 08:47 pm UTC (link)
In that case you're gnawing at the whole Ethical Slut vs. Different Loving models of polyamoury. Two different perspectives on ethical, relationship-based non-monogamy.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)
Re: And the very big risk of starting a flamewar...
[info]theperkygoth
2007-04-17 09:16 pm UTC (link)
Ah, now I'm intruiged... I've heard of the book "The Ethical Slut" but not heard of "Ethical Slut vs. Different Loving". Could you point me towards any websites to learn more?

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)
Ummm...
[info]edwarddain
2007-04-18 01:27 am UTC (link)
Not really. This is pretty in-depth social critique and analysis of the larger non-monogamy community and how it intersects with other Altsex populations (and as such is part of my own research interests as well as some of other writing). As far as I know there is no website that distills this community dialogue into something easy to read - it comes from my (and a number of other writer/researchers that I know) observations of the internal dialectic of the non-monogamy and polyamourous movements over the last 20 years (and longer).

Different Loving is an excellent book by Deborah Anapol that is about the exact opposite of the "ethical slut" model of non-monogamy. Namely the notion of multiple concurrent sexually and emotionally intimate relationships - rather than the "free love" of ethical sluthood. Both are valid, though in very, very broad terms the ethical slut notions tend to have more truck in the other Altsex communities (Gay/Lesbian/Kink) while the "Different Loving" mode is more prevalent in groups the NeoPagan community.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)
Re: Ummm...
[info]theperkygoth
2007-04-18 07:14 pm UTC (link)
Thank you for the explanation, I will track down and read both books.

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)
Re: Ummm...
[info]edwarddain
2007-04-18 11:02 pm UTC (link)
Another book that I just added to to my recommended reading list is Polyamory: Roadmaps for the Clueless and Hopeful by Ravenscroft.

LJ's to check out include [info]tacit (who I often don't agree with entirely) and [info]inki/[info]freaksexual (who I often agree with almost entirely).

Also, keep in mind that there are some differences in philosophy and approach to non-monogamy in the US vs. the UK - it's a whole different set of social movements and rules. Sort of like kink...

(Reply to this)(Parent)

[info]aladriana
2007-04-17 10:15 pm UTC (link)
You'd need to find the book "Different loving" and "The Ethical Slut" in order to see the to differences. It does sound like "swinging" which is often done with friends too (not that there's anything wrong with that...I should add that to the user info *grin*)

I identify as Poly/bi, but will say, I've never read the Ethical Slut. Sometimes, you have to come up with your own definition :) Welcome!

(Reply to this)

Create an Account
Forgot your login?
Login w/ OpenID
English • Español • Deutsch • Русский…