Journalist looking for asexual Danish woman [09 May 2008|10:21am] idahhansen Hi! I am a freelance journalist doing an article on asexuality, for a Danish woman's magazine. Therefore I'm looking for a Danish woman who would be interested in participating. If you are interested or want to learn more, please contact me at idahoe@gmail.com Cheers, Ida Haagen Hansen post comment

"Affectional Orientation" Instead of "Sexual Orientation"? [03 May 2008|02:47pm] queerunity I found an interesting new term used to describe our relationships. "Affectional Orientation instead of "Sexual Orientation", because Sexual Orientation is limiting our relationships to sexual means when for some there is so much more. Please check out my post and leave comments with your thoughts. http://queersunited.blogspot.com/2008/05/open-forum-affectional-orientation.html 4 comments|post comment

Introducing Queers United [29 Mar 2008|12:45pm] queerunity The activist blog for the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer, Asexual, Intersexual community with activist alerts to help us achieve equality. http://www.queersunited.blogspot.com 3 comments|post comment

Hello! [28 Apr 2008|09:01pm] lilith40 First off...before I start, I'd like to say that I nearly jumped out of my seat when I saw the title for this community.  Asexuality isn’t well known in my area. Through out school, I’ve been always called “gay”, “retarded”, or “stupid” for not having or wanting a boyfriend.  Of course such name calling was expected from people at a school where having dry sex in public (in front of classrooms and hallways) was like some kind of sport for all to see.  Before I ever came across the word "asexual", I always thought of several reasons why I wasn't interested in relationships or sexual acts while growing up. 1.  Not many people consider me attractive.  I can remember only five people who have called me "pretty" and meant it (my mom and some other people).  I always figured that since a lot of people considered me "unattractive", that forming a crush on a boy would be pointless because I was sure that I would be rejected. 2. I wasn't allowed to date until I was eight teen.  Why bother focusing on having a boyfriend when I wasn't allowed to have one before I turned eighteen?  Even when my mom and dad decided to change the rules and let me date at sixteen (after finding a note my friend wrote to me about a romantic lesbian fan fiction I wrote once), I was limited to dating within my own race.  I found the rule set by my dad not fair and I lost more interest when I had to reject the first boy who came up to me because of that stupid rule.  When I  got to the 12th grade, I lost complete interest in having a relationship.  Not even my dad allowing me to date outside my race after I asked him what was the point of dating did not change a thing. 3. It's hard for me to develop crushes.  It really is.  My first crush was in the eighth grade and my last crush was in the 12th grade which was THREE years ago.  For some reason, its hard for me to connect with someone enough to start a relationship with them.   4. I TRIED to have a boyfriend once.  I really did try once I developed a crush on this one guy in High School but since my school was a sexed filled place, I couldn't hang out with him without him trying to make out with me.  I had to end the relationship because the hugging (not the friendly kind of hugs) and kissing was making me feel sick.   That was also the end of me worrying about dieing alone some day. The thought of me hugging, kissing, and having sex with someone doesn't sit well with my stomach or calms my nerves at all.  Sometimes I think I'm wried.  As long as I have friends, I could care less about dieing without a husband.  Of course the occasional "what if I actually get a boyfriend I WANT to do something with?" comes up.  Maybe its because having a relationship means being "normal" to me until I remember all the "my boy/girlfirend did this to me last night" conversations in class and I feel like gagging.  Oddly sexual acts don't make me uncomfortable all the time.  I oddly find myself putting a lot of romance in the stories I write or reading the "juicy parts" of my mom's romance novels but not finding much interest in sex or romance in real life.  I'm just glad I found a place where I can finally relate to people.  My mom is all about expressing one's sexuality, my sister (who has a boyfriend) belives all this is in my head, and I'm tired of my dad asking if I'm gay each time I say I'm not interested in having a boyfriend.  Its no wonder that I nearly fell out my chair when I saw this community.         10 comments|post comment

First Ever Phoenix Area Asexy Meetup [28 Apr 2008|01:47pm] anarielsun We will be having the first Phoenix Area Asexual Meetup on Saturday, May 24 at 1 pm. We're meeting for lunch at My Big Fast Greek Restaurant on Mill Ave in Tempe and then possibly going to find some AVEN Cake. Contact me (LaLunaVerde on AVEN) if interested! post comment

[27 Apr 2008|11:54pm] paulabm [ mood | anxious ] Oh-oh! This guy I like just wrote and email saying he thought of me and that he had a dream... you know what kind. AH!!! Not nice and/or exciting. Actually it just made me anxious. Now it'll be even MORE awkward to have the... talk. I don't even know if I can do it. AH!! Why do people just assume? Sorry, I just really needed to vent. 19 comments|post comment

hi-hi! [27 Apr 2008|12:36am] dopa_mine "I just figured you were asexual or something." So said a classmate back in high school. Back then I had little visible interest in relationships. I wasn't really girly, but then again I wasn't really guyish. I laughed and said, "there's no such thing as asexuality". That's what I believed. Everyone wants to have sex at some time, right? I just hadn't hit that point. I was too busy, too sidetracked. But a couple of years later I knew. ( I'm sorry, I know I talk too much... ) Anywho, thanks to anyone who bothered to read all of that. I know it was long but I guess that's my life story in the realm of asexuality. Hopefully I will become more active in this community and get to know some of you. :D 20 comments|post comment

asexual thoughts on the homosexual experience [27 Apr 2008|12:13am] spoofmaster [ mood | geeky ] I don't know why it took me so long, but I've finally started making the effort to expose myself to queer cinema. I have a copy of The Celluloid Closet on my shelf, but I still haven't gotten around to reading it. I'm surprised Mom didn't pass comment on that when I bought it. My exposure has, I must admit, been limited to a very small number of lesbian films and a plethora of against-the-grain readings of more mainstream films. And by a very small number, I mean two: Go Fish and But I'm a Cheerleader. The former almost turned me off queer cinema forever (though as a more mature filmgoer, I might now be able to look at it as stylized rather than clumsy), so it wasn't until a year later that I finally looked at another film about lesbians. But I'm a Cheerleader is, in one word, awesome. It's a bit problematic due to its heavy use of stereotypes--at least, at first glance. Yes, it has butch lesbians and girly gay guys ("I just wasn't meant to be butch!" *cries*), but the straight characters are formed in much the same way. I don't think there's a single non-homophobe straight person in the movie. The point is not that the characters are deep or realistic--it's that, even using our current perceptions of sexuality, it's entirely possible to tell a story that gets at the truth of the matter. Anyway, the point I was going to make is that But I'm a Cheerleader is what has finally convinced me that yes, as an asexual I do have things in common with other queer people. I've said in the past that I feel as distant from lesbians as I do from straight women, since they both experience feelings I've never felt, but when it comes down to it, being an asexual teen and passing isn't all that different from being a homosexual teen and passing. In the early parts of But I'm a Cheerleader, before Kimberly realizes who she really is, her boyfriend keeps kissing her--or, rather, slobbering all over her face while she looks bored. Assuming that it's a subjective portrayal rather than the guy just being bad at kissing, I can totally relate. I hate to say it, but kissing a guy is one of the most disgusting things I've ever done. I know some asexuals like kissing, but that's just one example. It's taken me a surprisingly long time to realize it, but going against your sexuality in order to fit in is something that happens to almost all queer kids regardless of whether or not they're actually sexual at all. So, while I'm not going to go out and have the same adult experiences as my sexual queer counterparts, at least we have the same early life experiences to work from. x-posted to asexuality and asex_adjusted 9 comments|post comment

[26 Apr 2008|10:21pm] tea_me Hello all, I've been wondering about the difficulties of "coming out" as an asexual. I notice many people in this community are out, so I was wondering how you guys have gone about telling people? It's not really a topic that comes up in conversation much! What about those of you who haven't told others? Personally, I'm still in the closet but that's ok because I really don't feel that my sexuality (or lack thereof) defines me as a person and so I don't feel the need to tell people. How about everyone else? I'm interested to know the experiences of other people! Also: Does anyone else keep misreading aromantic as aromatic, or is that just me? 27 comments|post comment

[25 Apr 2008|04:02pm] odetta_to_detta Hi! I'm new to this community, and just wanted to introduce myself, as well as ask a question at the end :) I'm twenty years old, in college (pre-vet, woo!), and have known I was asexual since...sometime in elementary school (I'm leaning toward ten years old, maybe eleven). I didn't know it had a name at that point, in fact I only found out about the "label" about two or three years ago, but I still knew darned well that I was different! Didn't have any problems accepting it, really, and was pretty darned proud of my "loose screw" (though I did date three guys just to see if I could grow to like them. Had no intention of sex though). My family found it a little odd, and my mom has only recently started to truly believe that I'm asexual (my sister and dad are still kinda confused about it, though they don't give me a hard time. They just ask a looooot of questions and and present me with many "what if" situations. But overall they're supportive). Most of my friends were even accepting of it (though it took a small amount of saying "I'm serious, dudes."), and the only one still giving me trouble over it is my best friend (who isn't mean about it or anything. Just saying, "Oh, I'm sure you will feel sexual eventually," and all that). Then, last year, I started dating my current boyfriend. That was the only time I've ever questioned my asexuality, and boy did I ever have to do a lot of soul searching on that one! But after a long, long time of thinking about it, talking to my best online friend (who is also asexual), and finding AVEN, I decided that I'm not betraying myself by falling in love, and that it was OK to do so and still say I'm asexual. However, this is where the question part starts to come in, for you see, my dating someone has raised a few eyebrows among friends and family, and questions and disbelief are resurfacing. I've mostly got them down again, but that's by omitting a very HUGE thing. My boyfriend and I have sex, you see, for he is not asexual (though he does have a very low sex drive, luckily). And I'm OK with that. I like the psychological and emotional aspect of being close to him, and of making him happy, and thus I am happy with our arrangement. BUT! I feel I cannot let any of the people in my life know. I flat out deny that we have sex if asked, and even asked my partner not to tell anyone and to deny it when asked. And, well...I don't like doing that. I don't like denying something I'm not ashamed of, and I feel that it's unfair to my boyfriend to do so, but I KNOW that's going to make all those people I finally got to lay off go, "I TOLD YOU SO!" And that could quite possibly make me cry. I want to be honest, but ugh I hate "I told you so"s. So. Very. Much. So I was wondering if anyone else has felt this way. Or if anyone has any advice. But for the most part, I felt like saying, "Hello!" :D 17 comments|post comment

entroduckshuns. [24 Apr 2008|09:43pm] braveatoms [ mood | silly ] So, I think I'm finally ready to introduce myself... ( My slightly rambling intro/ life as the half-closeted president of a campus GSA ) 7 comments|post comment

Question [24 Apr 2008|07:00pm] diesis Do you think its possible to be both pansexual and asexual? Because I feel I identify with both if that even sounds remotely possible. 11 comments|post comment

asexuals and the day of silence [24 Apr 2008|04:16pm] eralkfang [ mood | cheerful ] So the Day of Silence is tomorrow. I'm participating, along with several students at my school, and I'm the only asexual of the lot. I'm just curious- how many of you plan to participate tomorrow? EDIT: For those of you who would like to participate but can't do the silence (I myself can only do it during school hours- I'm stage managing a musical tomorrow evening), the website has some alternatives. 17 comments|post comment

not a big Jeff Foxworthy fan; however... [23 Apr 2008|11:04am] braveatoms [ mood | dorky ] You might be asexual if... You read today's lj Writer's Block question ("What is your definition of cheating?") and think only in terms of tests and school assignments. Then again, you might just be a girl at the end of a very long college semester. I guess we'll never have that clear indicator of asexuality so many of us wish we could identify. (This random bit of dorkiness is not intended to suggest cheating isn't possible in asexual relationships; I just found my [oh-so-typical] inability to recognize the sexual aspects of a conversation amusing.) 7 comments|post comment

[21 Apr 2008|10:05pm] butrfly2kiss [ mood | curious ] Hi, I'm 16 and I've been through a lot of scrutiny on whether I'm really asexual or if I'm just some 'poor confused youth'. The thing is I have had relationships where I really loved the person but it was like a best friend (for me) who also doubled over as an awesome brother or somethin. I was attracted but not like that... -_- its confusing and hard to say, but I've been like this for years and had been searching for what this feeling was until I found out that my uncle was asexual. I researched it and it all began to make sense. I explained it to my boyfriend and have come out (if you can call it that) to my friends early on and recently my parents. The health teacher at my school has helped me along by talking to me and confirming I'm not crazy or just really turned around... so its all good. Now I'm just happy to have friends in a liberal school. ^_^ No one pressures me and everyone feels open to confide in me more about their own personal feelings and relationships. I feel sure I've got it right and if I realized this all even in seventh grade, then i'm feelin pretty strong about it. What do you all think? 12 comments|post comment

Hi! [18 Apr 2008|12:01pm] asexyasexual I started a livejournal separate from my personal one that specifically only speaks to the frustration of trying to find a girlfriend for my sexual husband. Feel free to add me if you're interested! post comment

Published [16 Apr 2008|06:16pm] grygon I totally forgot to announce it but I got an article about asexuality published, it can be found in: http://www.raymondluczak.com/eod2/index.html 1 comment|post comment

[16 Apr 2008|06:29pm] jittrbugg Hello there community! I'm puting together a printed zine about queer and allied identities. I truly want to encompass the beauty of all identites. Being non-sexual myself, it's very important to me that our community and voices be included in this. Would anyone be interested in being involved? Check out my base post for more information! (If it's not okay that I post this here... let me know please!) 3 comments|post comment

[15 Apr 2008|10:35pm] suchshadows [ mood | confused ] I'm torn. That's a nice way to put it. Torn. See, I like affection. I think, given the chance, I MIGHT like sex. But there is NOTHING, not one little thing, about either sex that attracts me, physically. Mentally, I'm there. You're awesome if you can engage me, and I'd like to pursue something. But honestly, there is not one thing on either sex (and for a long, long time I considered myself bisexual) that physically makes me -- get going. I read fanfic and I've watched porn, and that, you know, I can get into that -- something about sounds, I don't know, THAT'S sexy. But I have lots of trouble -- fantasizing and the two times I've been put in a sexual situation, I've been disinterested at best. I know I want to be in relationships, that much is certain. I like people, a lot. But I've been thinking, maybe I'm asexual. I don't know. I'm really confused, and a bit worried. Any input? I don't want to offend anyone, or make anyone mad, especially since I'm not sure. But I've never ever found anything physically attractive in either sex -- other than the normal, "Yeah, so-and-so is pretty," and I've never been able to get interested in anything beyond kissing in a real-life situation. I'm really confused... 3 comments|post comment

New Asexual Blog [13 Apr 2008|12:22am] supermodelk I have noticed the internet isn't exactly swarming with asexual-related blogs, so I thought I'd give it a shot- I've actually written a lot about the subject, so there are already over 20 posts on all sorts of related topics... Here is a screenshot and the link. If you have any comments or ideas for a new post, I'd really appreciate it. Thanks! 10 comments|post comment

navigation [ viewing | most recent entries ] [ go | earlier ]