| Introduction |
[18 Dec 2009|11:17am] |
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I'm 30 years old, female. I recently (the last year or so) have noticed in myself a desire to NOT want a relationship or sexual contact. ( Read more... )
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| Sex dreams? |
[14 Dec 2009|08:37pm] |
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I have a question for you all.
Regardless of the fact that you may or may not find people sexually appealing, do you still have sexual and or erotic dreams? I have them, though rarely, and I wouldn't label them "wet dreams" as they aren't at all arousing. To me they just seems like fragmented nude imagery. O_o I have also noticed that the person I am supposedly having sex with never has a face or a discernible gender. I have a feeling that it is usually male though I never see evidence of such.
So, what do you all think: Are asexuals still susceptible to erotic dreams? What of this blank-faced phenomenon? Anyone care to share any particularly peculiar dreams?
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[14 Dec 2009|08:23pm] |
Hey there.
I consider myself asexual because I live asexually. I just don't find other people very interesting. I prefer my hobbies, time alone, and contact in doses, much more appropriate.
I'm just not sure I would call it a sexual orientation. (At least concerning myself)
I guess I can't help feeling the way I do but I guess calling it "sexual orientation" seems heavy. Feels like a need to label it as something even when there's nothing backing it up or much public knowledge.
Also apparently some folks asexuality may actually be result of a mental condition or biological/medical one.
This could be my case, not sure.
I don't think it matters because I still call myself asexual for now because I live this way. It's the best way to describe my current way of life.
Anyone else sort of wear the label this way too?
I just don't know if I would wear it as a sexual orientation at least when talking about myself.
although it gets complicated once people start arguing what exactly counts as sexual orientation or how it gets defined.
regardless I'm talking about the personal use of the label asexual.
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| Questions from a researcher |
[13 Dec 2009|12:01am] |
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Hey everybody!
I'm an undergraduate at Reed College, and not too long from now (in about 6 months or so) I'm going to start writing my undergraduate thesis in psychology. I'm really interested in asexuality for two main reasons: much of the research into sexual orientation has ignored asexuality entirely (and that should be corrected!), and asexuality highlights some of the problems I see withi the DSM (the "bible" of psychiatry).
Although I'm not certain, I'm seriously thinking about thesising on asexuality and conducting a survey online with participants recruited through websites like this and AVEN. I haven't done a review of the research already out there yet, but I would like to hear from you.
What kind of questions would you like to see researched? What do you think are the important questions I should be looking at? What tips or advice would you give to someone who wanted to create a survey for asexuals?
I figure that it would be good to get feedback from the people I want to study about how what they think is important for studying, instead of just focusing on what kinds of questions the academic establishment might focus on. Also, who else but you knows best about what is polite, appropriate, and relevant?
Finally, if you are interested in participating in such a study feel free to comment and tell me so. (Obviously, it will be several months before I would start up the study, but I'm just curious to see if there is interest.)
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| Hello! |
[10 Dec 2009|08:01pm] |
Hello, everyone!
I've been watching this community for a bit and figured I should post an introduction.
My name is Niennis, or Ryn, either one.. I'm a 20 year old female, American livin in the USA for the time being..
Well, I'm queer, just thought I should throw that out there :P And by queer I do mean ace, seeing that queer expands to a large group of people nowadays. I've identified as ace unknowingly for all of my life, but only in the past months have I taken on the title.
( Cut for sexual stuff.. )
I am also transmasculine. It means that I am a bio female, feel masculine on the inside, but don't mind being female. I wouldn't, for example, want to become a man. I act like a guy and think like a guy (sometimes) but I'm fine with being a girl. I wondered for a while if I liked girls, maybe because of this, but I came to the conclusion that I don't.
I do find men attractive, and that made me think that I wasn't asexual.. but there's not much else to describe me. My reaction to attractive men is always (much to the amusement of my friends) "He's really hot.. I would so be his friend!" I never have the urge to take anything beyond friendship.
Sorry if this has just been a long ramble, I'm still a bit uncomfortable with telling people I'm ace, though you're very much the people to tell :D
Peace out!
-Ryn
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| Writer's Block Question for December 9 |
[10 Dec 2009|12:14am] |
I was very amused by today's Writer's Block question. I think the question of whether society puts to much pressure on people to get married and have children is very interesting and appropriate to the community. It also asks whether this pressure about romantic relationships is stronger around the holidays. In my experience, the answer to both questions is yes. No one really expects me to settle down yet, but at Christmas parties various family members often ask me if I'm dating anyone with a little gleam in their eyes. The constant expectation is rather annoying.
What do you all think about family/societal pressure to be in a relationship/have children, especially near the holidays?
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| books |
[08 Dec 2009|03:40am] |
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Hey, are there any really good and informative books on asexuality that are MUST reads? I'm really interested. Thanks
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| Introduction |
[07 Dec 2009|05:43pm] |
Hi, everyone,
I've meant to introduce myself, but life has gotten in the way.
I realized that asexuality was an option about eight months ago. Then, I thought that I wasn't ready to call myself an asexual because it wasn't really an issue. It's still not because I have no partner or potential partner, but I also realized that it does really fit me. It doesn't matter if I eventually feel differently. Right now, I am asexual; I'm becoming more comfortable with the idea of fluid sexuality, but it still feels nice to have a label as a starting point.
( Intro )( Read more... )
Everyone's posts just make me happy and feel not so alone. I'm so glad that this community exists!
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[05 Dec 2009|12:07pm] |
I just had one of those "You know you're Asexual when...." moments and wanted to share.
My roommate and I were chatting about TV. I've fallen headfirst into White Collar. She's recently been re-watching Smallville and talking about how everyone seems to be hired based on their abs.
Her: Neal would fit right in with them.
Me: Really? I don't think he'd be that buff...
Her: *Significant look*
Me: ...? Oh yeah! With the maroon pants!
Her: Yes. With the maroon pants.
The pictures are from the Pilot. Which I had seen at least 4 times at that point. Apparently the thing that had stood out to her in that scene was not how soft and comfy those pants looked, or how pretty all the colours were together =P
It was the first time since I started identifying as asexual that there was such a clear distinction between what I noticed and what she noticed. She still teases me about it =P ("half naked hot man right there, and what do you notice? the fabric of his pants")
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| A funny :) |
[04 Dec 2009|08:02pm] |
I'm not sure if there are any designers out there that follow Clients from Hell, but today had a good asexual chuckle:
I'm a freelance illustrator and I was hired to do a couple of illustrations for a story about people who are asexual (they do relationships, but not IT). I sent off my sketches to the art director and received an email back that wrote (and I quote), "These look great, but could you possibly add some whimsical looking dildos?"
Source: Clients from Hell
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| User pics |
[26 Nov 2009|12:55pm] |
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I notice we don't have a user pic any more any suggestions? :)
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| question for you all |
[23 Nov 2009|12:27am] |
what reasons make you classify yourself as asexual?
this isn't a bashing or whatever, im just curious. I consider myself asexual in almost every aspect. including relationships. I dont like relationships because the modern day one includes a sexual component. I also wish I was neither girl nor boy so that i couldnt be looked at in any sexual manner.
do you think that's odd?
is it really REALLY possible for there to be relationships that have no sex?????
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| Trans Asexuals on Hormones |
[21 Nov 2009|06:22pm] |
Hey folks, question for a part of the community, plus an introduction.
( First, a little background info on me )
At any rate, backstory aside.
I am a female-to-male transsexual. For those not in the know, the biggest part of transition for many trans men is the hormone testosterone. It has tons of awesome effects (and a few not-so-awesome side effects) for people with female bodies who would like them to be male bodies, but one of the things it reportedly does is dramatically increase sex drive. I've just started mine, and I don't really feel any different. Granted, I just had the first shot on Thursday, but the effects on mood are supposed to be pretty immediate.
So what I'm curious to know is, well, firstly, any other trans men in the comm? If so, if you've started testosterone, did you notice any changes in your sex drive? More, less, the same, different targets? I'm curious about the other side of things, too, since I've heard that a lot of trans women experience a drop in sex drive when they start the estrogen.
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| Living with the mistake |
[21 Nov 2009|12:34pm] |
Just a need to vent for the first time to some people that can understand. A little racy, but not profane or dirty.
( Read more... )
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| stories |
[21 Nov 2009|09:20pm] |
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hi all,
so this is a random thought today.
So i enjoy writing stories that always at some point involve sex scenes of some description. When i write these i don't have a problem with it. So i was thinking that maybe this is my sexual outlet instead of actually having sex.
anyway i'm just sharing my random thought
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| Hi, I think this is my first post... |
[20 Nov 2009|04:53pm] |
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Hi everyone! I don't think I've posted here before, but I'm cross-posting from my own journal today. It's just a snapshot of my life, I suppose.
My new coworker yesterday asked why I didn't marry. I told her I just wasn't interested in it. This confused her for some reason. I tried to tell her that I regarded marriage and dating in the same way that I regarded clogging and joining the military: I have nothing against those things, I'm just not interested in devoting my time to activities that I have no personal motivation to pursue. She found this "interesting" but was still confused. When replied to her questions that I was neither straight nor gay, she was further confused so I just left it at that. I just emphasized that I was not interested in pursuing relationships.
Why is asexuality such a confusing idea to some people? I understand amusicality fairly well, one of my dear friends is amusical. She just doesn't like music, its all noise to her. It's not a hard concept and shouldn't even be that interesting. We can't all like everything. I have no true aversion to sexuality itself, and I don't care what people's sexuality is so long as it does not involve raping people or involve children or animals. I'm just simply not interested in romance or sexual relationships for myself. I don't see people sexually any more than rocks or swans, and I'd just be bored out of my skull. I like chatting with people and doing activities, but even then I get bored with people quickly. I think I like humans only in small doses. By some people's reckoning, I could be considered antisocial, but that's whats strange about it. I really do like people, especially when discussing films, books, or just life in general. I just don't like spending a great deal of time with those people, not when it interferes with my other activities. If I spend 30 minutes of my day engaged with a good conversation with someone it enriches me--when it goes beyond that, like for half a day, I'm exhausted and I'm just sick of being around them.
And don't get me started on the rugrats. I like kids if other people have them and they are well-behaved, I just don't want them for myself. I mean, I like horses too, but I don't want to own one. Why do some people equate liking something with owning something. Hell, I love tigers too, maybe I should just buy a tiger to prove how much I love it, and look down on people who don't own one by calling them a "tiger-hater".
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| Because I'm honestly curious. . . . |
[20 Nov 2009|05:47pm] |
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Hey, all. Longtime lurker, first time poster.
I'm an asexual writer, and I know I'm far from the only one around here. How do the rest of you approach writing romantic/sexual relationships?
It's something I've been grappling with a lot lately -- I knew when I plotted the novel I'm working on now that the working out of a messy, romantic relationship between two of the members of my ensemble cast would have an effect on many of the major events of the story. I also knew that trying to avoid it would hurt aspects of the story and characters massively. I didn't realize just how difficult I'd find trying to write in one of their viewpoints while the two of them were in the same room.
While obviously characters aren't their writers, it does help to understand them as fully as you can, and for me this has resulted in a couple of awkward conversations with friends about various aspects of romance. There was a post a couple of days past about being asexual and touch-hungry, and I'm a bit like that myself (I like the texture of hair, and the feel of someone's shoulders the crook of my arm when I give them a hug, for instance) and have tried to incorporate those details about just wanting to touch and be touched into the story whenever they make sense, but I'm never quite sure if works when I'm using their viewpoints, since I don't have those feelings, let alone experiences myself, and am hyper-aware that most of my audience does have those feelings, and I think it's really slowing the story down this time.
Do the rest of you wind up second-guessing yourselves, possibly to the point of irritation for those around you who you're willing to share your writing with?
Cheers!
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| First post here |
[19 Nov 2009|04:17pm] |
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Hey there. I'm new here. Ah. Hi?
Crossposted from my journal. I'm ... fairly new to the idea of being asexual, but it seems to fit very well. I think. But ... it seems to come with problems. Any ideas?
( Asexual and touch-hungry )
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| Question Time! |
[18 Nov 2009|02:57pm] |
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Hey guys!
Curious asexual question time:
How do you feel about children?
Since sex is directly linked to procreating, I'm curious about personal opinions. I've seen a lot of posts and comments about people never wanting to have children and I'm wondering about the overall view.
As a demi-sexual, as I most closely relate myself to, I wouldn't mind having children - perhaps adopting or maybe even becoming pregnant.
What about you guys?
No children never?
Would you adopt?
Pregnancy?
Surrogates?
Only puppies and kittens, please?
And if they are on here, any asexuals who are parents would be an interesting view or sexuals with asexual partners and have children.
Thanks guys!
EDIT: Oh my goodness! I don't think I was expecting all the responses! I was planning, and was on my way on replying to each one individually but this is starting to look like an impossible task xD Thanks so much for the responses guys!
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