One in three married Japanese couples is apparently "sexless," a startling proportion said to be swelling by the year. However, it's not just the marriage bed that's gone cold. Many young couples, too, are foregoing quality time between the sheets even before tying the knot. And while sex may be the most private part of our private lives, it's time to ask where the love has gone.
One 31-year-old woman at a trading company has been in a happy relationship with a 35-year-old coworker for more than five years. They always spend their weekends together, and at the beginning of their relationship were having sex every week. However, after about six months the frequency of their lovemaking declined steadily from the weekly pace to once every one or two months. They now have sex only a few times a year.
The woman wondered how this had happened. At first she suspected her boyfriend of infidelity, but there were no signs he was cheating. While she wanted to ask him about the situation she felt she couldn't, and spent the next two years feeling dissatisfied. Eventually, however, she concluded that this was just "his pace," and stress over their infrequent sexual encounters has disappeared. Unless they have three-day weekends, they're not in the mood.
Even so, she feels lonely on the weekends they spend apart, and they often hold hands when out together in public. Her boyfriend never forgets to give her a good night kiss, and they cuddle in bed.
"It's very easy to be together, so going on like this is just fine," the woman says.
A 2005 international sex survey -- conducted by British condom maker Durex -- showed Japan had the lowest frequency of intercourse among the 41 countries surveyed, at 45 times a year -- well below the average of 103.
Meanwhile, a 2008 nationwide survey on male-female relations by the Ministry of Health, Labor and Welfare and Japan Family Planning Association Inc. (JFPA) showed that 36.5 percent of married couples were "sexless" -- defined as going without intercourse for a month or more. The survey, conducted biennially on men and women aged 16-49, also revealed the number of sexless couples was rising steadily, from 31.9 percent in 2004 to 34.6 percent in 2006, and then by almost two percent more in 2008.
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Source: mdn.mainichi.jp/mdnnews/national/news/20100208p2a00m0na010000c.html