Anti-Moms Unite

breastfeeding and meds

2008-03-23T22:01:29Z

a recent post reminded me of this book:

Medications and Mothers' Milk, 12th Edition, 2006 by Thomas Hale, Ph.D.

i've heard of plenty of mamas who were told to "just wean" when needing to take meds that may be harmful to the baby, when in fact the doc was just saying it just in case.

anyways, the book is written more towards professionals, but it is definitely worth picking up (my pharmacy carries it) to share with your doc/nurse/peditrician/have as your own resource.

donating toys to iraqi children.

2008-03-23T21:18:42Z

hey ladies- someone posted on my local lj community asking where to donate toys. i suggested a local women's shelter, but someone else replied with this link, and it sounds rad! so if you're going to purge your kid's irritating toy collection anytime soon (like we plan to), box them up and send them to kids in iraq!

http://www.parenthacks.com/2006/09/spread_the_word.html

and happy zombie day, y'all.

I just discovered something...

2008-03-23T14:09:55Z

I just got sick with a gastroente-I dunno the name in English, sorry.

I got meds and the doctor told me to feed the princess formula and to pump and throw away my milk. Since it's Easter, I had the worst possible time trying to contact a lactation consultant. Just got off the phone with her. She told me that it's perfectly safe to breastfeed with these meds. Apparently, of almost all regular meds, only 1/1000 of the amount prescribed by pediatricians on babies goes through the milk of a breastfeeding mom (does this sound like an understandable sentence?).
Of course, it's always best to get the advice of a professional but it's a good thing to know that I have been feeding my kid formula and throwing away perfectly healthy milk...

Crappy Easter, by the way. Le boyfriend escaped to his parents with the princess so I couldn't contaminate her so I'm spending our first Easter alone with my cats. And the rain they promised isn't here either so I'm locked inside with massive sun outside U.U

From tomorrow on, all can only be good again, no?

Wedding help

2008-03-13T20:42:48Z

Being the helpful moms you all are... I need fashion help.

My daughter has been asked to be a flower girl at a wedding in Las Vegas. She'll be just about 19 months at the time of the wedding. First of all... I'm dreading the task of helping her to toss petals along the aisle as well as meeting the needs of outfitting her.

The bride wants her to wear a tutu in her colors mostly blue, (like the color of the livejournal bar haha) with a little black and white. So I've got the tutu ordered, and the bride told me to just find something that works for the rest of the outfit. But what would that be?

I need suggestions for a top and something to go under the tutu and the shoes too.

I'm glad I'm getting a head start on this, because usually I'm such a procrastinator. I've checked Old Navy and The Children's but I didn't see anything at either place...

I'm hoping someone out there has a great idea!

THanks.

Blèh!

2008-03-11T19:45:52Z

Scarlett is cheating on me... There's the nanny now... ^^
I thought it would be heartbreaking to leave her with the nanny but it's not. It's just so friggin' unnatural to me... I can't understand the necessity of me going to work and leaving my kid to someone unknown so she can make a living.
I can leave her for a couple of hours to go out or to do the stuff that need to be done around the house but I can't grasp the necessity of me going back to work when it should be my task to stay at home and take care of a human being who actually NEEDS me.

I discover more and more about the 50's, where everyone suddenly decided that being human was unnatural. Hugging, cosleeping, breastfeeding,... so everyone suddenly decided to put babies in separate bedrooms, to stop asking for advice to people of their community and started to take the medical and ultrahygenic world as being God, to stop cuddling & hugging, to stop carrying babies and stuff...
It's unnatural!

The feminist cause has stopped where it shouldn't have. Feminism is not about forcing women to do the same things as men. "Man" is not the standard to be reached. Feminism is about giving women the choice of what they want to do. I don't want to go back to work, I want to stay at home and take care of my kid, do some volunteering, breastfeed and enjoy it! But I can't because there is no financial possibility of doing this.

Feminism isn't done yet!! There's much more to do!! Right here as well as far away!

Word Up.

2008-03-09T02:18:01Z

Since i'm new to the community i wanted to quickly introduce myself.

Christina. 24. 7 1/2 months knocked up.

As interested as i am about this baby in me i am also intent on growing as a person myself and not completely becoming only MOM(complete with mom jeans & haircut). I think it is highly important for my own sanity(and others around me) for people to realize just cause i have a kid doesn't mean i lose my identity as who i previously was. Which is why of course i joined this community.

Reading past entries it seems like i will be around like minded parents who aren't afraid to say normally 'taboo' things around other mommies like 'I wish my freakin kid would just shut up!' Of course being around someone 24/7 you are BOUND to get annoyed, the women in my family act like they never felt that way which can be frustrating when asking advice on future parenting.

I come in asking a question based on a few previous posts that i have read. Mainly horror_romance's post about temper tantrums. I grew up being the designated babysitter for family & family friends. I have quite a bit of experience with babies & kids. My worries aren't in my views in parenting but in my fiances. He knows nothing about youngin's. In the tantrum situation i know how to deal with the kid by not giving in but i know my fiance would. We are even arguing at the moment because i do not want the Little Dude having a pacifier. I believe in feeding him when hungry & teaching him how to soothe himself rather than having something just given to him and then later trying to ween him off that in addition to breastfeeding. When we were registering at Babies R Us the other nite i found him secretly scanning pacifiers.

He thinks i overreact when getting upset about it but i'm pretty stubborn and for right now it's 'hey, this is what i said we're doing don't fucking piss me off'. How do you handle spouses not fully following through with something like that? Or any rules you may have in general. When you're not home, not really sticking to a plan and possibly ruining progress you may have made.

Bath Temperature

2008-03-05T18:24:14Z

My sister bought me the fireman version of Tommee Tippee Super Safety Bath Duck for my Katie Bug. It checks the water temperature so you can tell if it is too hot to put the baby in the bath. I used it for her bath today and turned the water a lot cooler than I have been using so far (prior to this I was using the elbow technique). She seemed to be okay at the new temperature at first, but when I pulled her out her feet and hands were purple. I FREAKED out. I thought it was an allergic reaction to something at first and wrapped her tight in the towel while I rushed around the house looking for my cell phone so I could call the doctor. By the time I found it I had calmed down a little bit and noticed that she was changing back to a normal color. I'm going back to giving her warm baths and throwing out the ducky.

Plugged tear duct

2008-03-04T22:31:49Z

Hello - this is my first time posting here and I am after some advice.

My daughter is 8 months old and has had a plugged tear duct from birth. It's not terribly serious, it just means that her right eye waters quite a bit and she often has a little tear dribbling out of the corner. I have been advised by my doctor as well as the nurse at my baby group to massage the inner corner of her right eye which is supposed to eventually break open the duct. I have been doing this every day without success. If the problem does not correct itself by the time she is a year old she will have to have surgery for it which I REALLY want to avoid.

Does anyone else have any experience with this? Any suggestions on what might help other than massaging the duct?

Thanks!

anti_mom @ 2008-02-28T19:17:00

2008-02-29T03:22:06Z

okay, tonight i went out to eat with my husband and son at a restaurant a few blocks from our house. it's a decent sized, sit-down mexican food place that sometimes hosts parties and stuff like that. it's decidedly "family-friendly." (except for the attached smoky bar that makes the whole restaurant smell like stale ashtrays- yuck.)

aside from all the obviously annoying kiss-ass waiter stuff (calling us 'amigo' every five seconds, hovering a lot) the waiter REPEATEDLY touched my son. i mean, every single time he walked by, he either caressed him on the shoulder, patted him on the head, tickled his cheek, etc. Over and over and over. Each time it happened, I rolled my eyes at my husband, and at one point I joked that I would tell him that my kid had measles or something to see if he backed off. We just ate our food and left without saying anything.

WTF IS UP WITH TOUCHY-FEELY STRANGERS, RIGHT? i really should have said something, but what would that even solve? it would just make everyone feel uncomfortable, right? in other situations where people try to be touchy with my kid, i usually just pull him close to me and put myself between him and the stranger, but he was sitting in a high chair at the restaurant so he was kind of fair game.

God, it's still flu season, right? UGH, HANDS OF, AMIGO.

p.s. i should point out that the waiter was REALLY creepy looking and had black-ass teeth. he was just a creepy guy and he should NOT have been feeling up my toddler. the end.

Need some advice on bad language use!

2008-02-25T23:20:15Z

Hey all,

I was wondering if anyone might have any input for me.

My three-year-old son has recently picked up some naughty phrases... "shut up," which I believe he picked up from his beloved and oft-watched "Toy Story;" and (I hate to say this), "fuck" and "fucking," which he picked up from his father. Nice, I know. My hubby has a habit of using the f-word a lot, mostly as a descriptor (e.g., "It's fucking hot today," "That was a fucking good burger," etc.). I used to use the f-word as a descriptor a lot too, but learned to curb it once our son got old enough to notice. Chris, however, has not. He simply forgets to edit himself and keeps using the word freely, and I always have to remind him... unfortunately, it's always AFTER Kieran has gotten an earful of "where the fuck did I leave my glasses?"

Anyway, Kieran has picked up on these words. The f-word actually doesn't bother me too much, as he mostly says it under his breath, like he's testing it out and doesn't really use it out loud--yet. "Shut up," though, is an entirely different matter. He now says it whenever he's mad about something, like if I tell him he can't have a cookie, or tell him it's time to pick up his toys when he doesn't want to, or whatever. He tells his baby sister to shut up sometimes too.

This language use is unacceptable to me. A toddler telling someone to shut up is rude and inappropriate, and more so when he's telling it to his parents. At first, we started by reprimanding him and explaining that the language was not nice, but as he continued to use it, we started becoming harsher and making him sit by himself (like Time Out) and/or go to his room alone so he could think about it, and told him he couldn't come back out until he was ready to speak nicely.

Still, he continues to use the language. Sometimes he says it out loud and other times he whispers it, but loud enough that we can hear it. So I'm trying to figure out what to do. I'm well aware that lots of kids deliberately do and say things to push your buttons BECAUSE they want you to get angry; it's a form of manipulation on their part because they know they can get a rise out of you. So knowing that the best thing is to remain calm, would it be better for me to ignore his bad language altogether? Just pretend I didn't hear it, and eventually it would lose its meaning? And what about when he says it to his sister?

I suspect that at age three, ignorance in lieu of punishment would be the best route. Ignoring the words would cause them to lose their power, right? But what about when he says "shut up" directly to me, and not under his breath? Do I just play stupid, or do I acknowledge it? Does he get punished, or do I just tell him to talk nicely? I hate to make these words more intriguing to him by emphasizing their inappropriateness, KWIM? Any advice from those who have gone through the toddler period?

What I really want to tell him is that if he doesn't shut up, I'm going to wring his fucking neck. :D

gifts for a new mom, post-C-section

2008-02-25T18:42:20Z

One of my good friends is due to give birth to her second child in late March. Her first was born, via emergency C-section, after a very long, harrowing labor. Although she is preparing for a VBAC and is supported by her obstetrician in doing so, her doctor also cautioned that the difficulty she encountered with the first labor was one of the most likely to be repeated in subsequent deliveries, and that the odds for a successful vaginal birth were not necessarily in her favor. (That's really as specific as I'm going to get, as the details aren't particularly pertinent to this post. Just so you're aware, I'm not soliciting information on VBACs or recommendations that my friend "find a new practitioner").

Perhaps needless to say, she's feeling a little down about the prospect of going through another C-section, and I'd like to do something special for her to make sure her recovery is as comfortable as possible. Unfortunately, I'm not in the position to offer a lot of "hands on" help with the new baby or her older child; but she does have a lot of friends and family members nearby to assist her with this.

To those of you who have had a C-section: what kind of gift would you have appreciated during your recovery?

anti_mom @ 2008-02-18T00:27:00

2008-02-18T08:31:20Z

How many of you use a cleaning lady? Where did you find her? How much did it cost, and what do you have cleaned?

Once we move if our escrow-ever-fucking-closes-damnit I want to hire someone to clean our downstairs, basicly dust, clean 600 sq feet of wood floors, wash the insides of the windows, sweep the patio, and clean the kitchen, wipe down the counters, cubboards, and aplinaces. I only want it once a month, to do a good cleaning, but I am wondering what it would run me.

pointless rant? plea for advice? you be the judge.

2008-02-15T16:56:18Z

my son is driving me up the motherfucking wall these last few days.

he's 17 months old, he's getting over a nasty cold that had him feverish for about 3 days and now he's got the faucet-nose. he hasn't seen a doctor because duh- he has a cold. other than that, most of the time he seems fine. he'll play (as long as someone's sitting right next to him helping him with toys and shit) and run around and he's eating and drinking fine, so his health isn't my concern.

what i AM concerned about is that he's suddenly become REALLY aggressive. he isn't regularly exposed to violence, but we did go to a MMA (mixed martial arts) training center the other day so i could take some photos and he saw a bunch of dudes pummeling each other. but seriously, that couldn't possibly be why he's started LOSING IT every time he gest frustrated. i've been known to get hella pissed and yell at him, but it's definitely not an every day, all day occurrence so i don't know if that's the problem either.

he's just going through this phase where his tantrums have gone from crying a little bit and the occasional scream, to EAR PIERCING SHRIEKS and THROWING HIMSELF ON THE FLOOR. all the 'literature' says to ignore it, since he's doing it for attention, but it takes EVERY SINGLE OUNCE OF MY MENTAL ENERGY to not scream at him to SHUT THE FUCK UP when he's freaking out over something like, oh- i don't know, the fact that he purposely set a ball on the floor in front of himself and now he's too fucking lazy to pick it up? like, maybe he's practicing his telekinetic powers and he's pissed that he can't levitate it, i don't know. his new favorite game- sitting on the couch and throwing a ball on the floor, and then SCREAMING HYSTERICALLY until someone picks it up and hands it to him. i know- i know- DON'T HAND IT TO HIM, RIGHT? easier said than done.

please tell me this is just a phase. an awful, horrendous, irritating, SHORT-LIVED phase. hurry, before i start posting from jail because I SMOTHERED MY TODDLER.

edited to add:

oh yeah, and it REALLY doesn't help that EVERY SINGLE TIME I PICK HIM UP to try and calm him down, he shoves both hands down the front of my shirt and whines "PWEEEEEEASE! PWEAAAASE!" and if i say no, he starts screaming and slaps me in the face. how the fuck am i ever going to wean this jerk without just cutting him off? i'm starting to hate nursing him, but the idea of stopping makes me so sad. dilemmas, dilemmas.

anti_mom @ 2008-02-13T16:34:00

2008-02-13T21:34:56Z

i was noticing today when i changed my little boys behind he was bleeding a bit. i don't know if it was from leaving him wet for too long. we use northern essence diaper rash salve with cloth and A & D at night with sposies. what i'm wondering is can i make a milk and oatmeal bath for him to soak his behind? i made some stuff for christmas that was ground up oatmeal and powdered milk and you just throw some in the tub. does this make sense? would it help him at all?
x-posted around

"young moms"

2008-02-12T17:00:48Z

what is a young mom? to me, it's one who got pregnant before say - 20. an "old" mom to me is one who got pregnant after 35.

i'm sick and fucking tired of being called a young mom. i turn 28 this year. i have a 4.5 yr old and a 1.5 yr old. i'm not OMGYOUNG to have kids.

what about you guys?

Two questions

2008-02-09T22:24:00Z

Hey all!

I've got two questions:

* I've started to try and pump my milk to feed the little witchlet. When do I do this? Do I pump one brest while she feeds off the other? Do I do it in between feedings? Right after she fed? When is the best time to have enough milk to provide? Is it normal I have more milk in the morning? How much do I need?

* The little witchlett sleeps in my bed, le boyfriend prefers to sleep where he isn't woken up by boobs & cries. So we sleep alone in one big bed (even if I miss my man, I loooove watching her sleep ^^ ). However, between 4.00 AM and 6.00 AM, there is one hour where she is wide awake. I can barely keep my eyes open then and can hardly play with her at that time. And, like all babies, she makes a lot of noises while sleeping. My friends tell me to just put her in her own room so I can get enough sleep but as long as she eats at night, I refuse to even think about it. How do you manage to get enough sleep at night between baby noises and wide awake babies?

Thanksalotyall!!!

Dwell For Target

2008-02-05T17:26:16Z

I was in Target yesterday and I noticed that Dwell now has a line for Target called Dwell Studio. I have always been a fan of their bedding but it was so expensive and now they have a line that is more affordable at Target. The stuff is pretty cute too! If you're into modern nursery styles, you should check it out

wrappedy wrap wrap!!

2008-01-31T21:11:42Z

Hey, it's in French but here's a website who explains wrapping carrying baby scarfing with good pictures!!

http://www.portersonbebe.com/nouvelles/les-noeuds-expliques-en-photo-etape-par-etape.html

Enjoy!!

STAY AT HOME MOMS

2008-01-31T00:02:45Z

raise your hand if you spend all day being lazy and then clean up really quick right before your husband gets home. i can't be the only one!

A question of diapers

2008-01-30T01:22:18Z

I have my Katie in cloth diapers and I like it a lot. However, I plan on going on a long road trip Thursday for 4 days and I'm wondering if anyone has any advice about it. I'm traveling with my mother and she says I should just do disposables for the trip. I'm inclined to agree, but I was hoping for any advice anyone wanted to give me.

Thanks.

supervised visits

2008-01-21T01:29:34Z

I was wondering if anyone here a) has a child who has only supervised access to the other parent and b) this supervision is currently or has ever been done by social workers.

in brief: my stepdaughter(3.5) has a scumbag biological father who has been absent most of her life. he will occasionally file for custody when he gets in the mood, get awarded more visitation, then stop coming. anyways over the summer, he managed to get unsupervised visits. he only had a couple of those visits when my stepdaughter told us that he had abused her. sexually. not only was that horrible, but DCF botched the investigation (a long story, if anyone is curious I can explain) and didnt substantiate the claim, even though she told a counselor what happened. so he got supervised visitation back and filed to get unsupervised visits again. *fortunately* an advocate was appointed who totally sided with us. she is recommending to the court that he only get one short visit every other week, and it take place at a children's social service agency.

my concern: will these people do a good job? is she going to be safe? will they be observant when he is mean or creepy towards her, or skips visits or shows up late? we're really happy not to have to deal with him directly, since he constantly tries to pull shit, but I just worry about whether or not the agency will do a good job. anyone been through anything remotely like this who can give me advice?

Sign Language

2008-01-14T15:20:49Z

Hey all, I'm very interested in a workshop here in my town. It's about baby sign language. Basically it's about teaching some of the signing language to small babies so that they can express themselves even if they cannot talk yet.

Has any of you done this? I'm really curious!

anti_mom @ 2008-01-12T20:37:00

2008-01-13T04:37:41Z

Have any of you ladies had to deal with Thrush and if so, what did you use for it?

I just picked up some Gentian Violet to try and wanted to know if anyone else had used it before and what thier success rate with it was.

introduction

2008-01-13T03:05:37Z

Hello, folks. My name is Jeremiah and I just got here. I haven't used lj much at all, but I used to participate in message boards way back in the caveman days of computing. I just stumbled on this site looking for other punk parents and I thought the description was really cool. I have a 3.5 yr old stepdaughter and a 4 month old son, my partner and I both grew up in punk rock and we feel sort of caught in the middle of the mainstream and crunchy lunatic fringe. We definitely aren't a traditional family, but I never feel "pure" enough to really fit into crunchier parenting groups. Anyways, this community resonated with me, and here I am. Look forward to talking to everyone here.

-jeremiah

Good one

2008-01-12T18:23:15Z

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VnReJeQrK0k&eurl=http://blog.allaitement.mamanana.com/

In France, breastfeeding is still not very popular. And there is the big "breastfeeding in public" issue. I personally just take my boob out where ever I am when the princess is hungry (it would be easier if it was summer though ^^ ) and feed her (restaurants, shops, train,...).
But a lot of French people are a bit more... hum.... prude

How is it in your country?