| Because some times I'm not clear |
[Aug. 14th, 2008|11:19 pm] |
When I was in junior high, we had to write an essay about our role models. I wrote about my role model being myself because I want to surpass myself. But it's actually because I've had no role models.
I've come to really admire Jojo, founder of the Chinese scanlation group Jojohot. Every week, with the scanlations, he releases ~10 public service announcements, and they are not just full of love for China, its people, and its culture but also for humanity in general. Some of them are really moving; he talks about someone who picked trash off the streets with his grandmother in order to get enough money to go to uni and hopes that talking about just one person like this will help ten more people like him. Or the peasant girl who burned her acceptance letter to uni because her family couldn't afford to send her there. There were also some beautiful PSAs utilizing pictures of coral reefs that were released with some One Piece chapters.
But I just found out today that he made a promise to build an elementary within three years or commit suicide for redemption. He talks about how it's the lowlifes who now decide what's "good", that Jojohot has to fight with those greedy lowlifes. The Chinese name for Jojohot is 热情, passion (not the romantic kind but the devotion kind), and so what he says becomes more than just about the group. When he says "This world needs 热情, needs a power that does not exist for money", when he says "South Korea and Japan are strong...because of people who are willing to sacrifice their own gain to help their country", I think of how true that is.
I admire him because he recognizes a lot of things most people don't, because he cares for our country and its people so much that he releases these PSAs in the scanlations. There are a lot of things that make me really sad about my country: the ever widening gap between rich and poor; the terrible working conditions; the environmental destruction; the favouring of business over people (in a so-called "communist" country, no less), particularly the peasants; the rampant corruption, to name a few. We traditionally view history in cycles; every dynasty starts out strong, then corruption sets in, and eventually a new dynasty replaces the former. Corruption seems to be a continual feature of China, and it makes me absolutely sick to my stomach in ways many things (e.g. necrophilia, scat) can't. Because the corruption is usually not punished, and the people bear the brunt of the consequences.
I'm turning twenty this year. While I'm twenty, I will graduate with two bachelor's degrees and enter postgraduate studies. I've spent a large portion of my teen years being angry, for myself, for my country, for a variety of causes. But I'd like to think that stepping into a new decade of my life would mean that I'm growing wiser because I've already grown a lot this summer, and I'd rather love my country in a different way. I'd rather love my country like Jojo does.
There's a lot to be said for calmness and what it does to one's mindset. I've been trying it out for a few weeks now, and except for that entry last week, it's been mostly working. It's done wonders for my objectivity and for my attitude. People are who they are, and we have all been shaped in subtle ways that, at times, give us kneejerk reactions to certain things or render us deaf to others. I'm not a pessimist, merely a realist, and I know I won't change the world. I'm not sure the world is worth changing.
I owe people comments, still. I sunk back into Naruto fandom and went stalking FFN for fic this past week, so I haven't been around. I did glimpse a bit of an anon comment left in that entry, though, and to clarify that entry (because I know I can be strongly opinionated and maybe a bit intimidating because of that): I absolutely am not telling anyone to stop their criticism of China because I know that it has a lot of faults, and I absolutely respect the right of freedom of speech. What I was (and still am) critical of are the hypocrisy used by people in their criticism of China and their lack of criticism for similar happenings occurring elsewhere, particularly within/by their own countries, and criticism that becomes, perceived or actual, attacks upon my culture and my people. ![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) thermopylae_h told me that I can't control or decide the intent of my words, and I've found that true. I was angry when I made that post, so I may have exaggerated things, but that's why I'm learning to utilize calmness, now. |
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