Current mood:

aggravated

AHHHHHH
OMG IM SO FUCKING STUPID! i seriously hate myself!!! i fasted forever. ate nothing but frickin icecubes and water and cellerie *wow i can.t spell :( * and now im still at my starting weight,... not my normal weight 120 that im suppose to be, but 105 that i HATE cuz i get down to 95 then eat like a fat ass ugly ass cow!!! ugh.. prom is in 3 days, im fasting till then, then graduation is next week.. still gunna be fasting again then my graduation party is the following week, then week after that is my b-day, then week after that is 4th of july then week after that i already start my collage!! ughhh i have no life ne more.. i just want to go back to when i had school till 2 o.clcok *easy to fast then cuz i just was in class and skiped lunch* then came home and slept for the rest of the day.. its like I LOVE SUMMER VA-CA but its like i have nothing to do but sit at home, i don.twanna talk to my friends cuz i just don.t i don.t want a boyfriend rght now cuz i just done.. i just wanna me alone and able to do my own thing... but my mom bitches cuz i don.t do shit around the house, im like cuz if i come outa my room i.ll eat cuz im SO FRIGGIN STUPID!!!!!!!!!!! AH OMG its liek i dont have controll ne more cuz my mom shoves food in my face... litereally... ughh w/e im fast cleaning my WHOLE house tomorrow while i sit w/ no1 home and every1 at work so im gunna just clean the house head to toe so my momdoesn.t bitch then just sleep the rest of the day so i get through day 1 again for my fast.. i wanted to start today cuz mondays always sound sooooo good to start a fast cuz u can keep track of the days, like a new week always starts on mondy or sunday and since i can never start a fast on sunday cuz we have sunday family dinner mondays always sound good, but i wen to go fight my X-s girlfriend cuz i duno drama went down and he called me and she wanted to fight, so b4 i faught her i ate like a bag of sunchips 4 cookies orangjuice then when i came home iwas tired and wanted something to eat after fighting so i went for the icecream and tunafish... AHHHH and today iw as suppose to start my fast.. i guess that dumb bitch just got in my way.. or i just suck all around

all well im starting a fast tomorrow.. ya.ll can join in ya want.. im fasting for like a week n 1/2.. more or less 15 days just on cellerie *like i said ic an.t spell* and prolly only veggies. but only water for the 1st 6-7 days then i.ll restrict only on veggies... but im gunna go to sleep now so i don.t eat my house :(

love all you!!!

-Madison :*
XOXO