| Food |
[10 Dec 2007|12:01am] |
Can anyone help me out??? I would like a list of "safe" foods. By that I mean food that burns more calories to digest than it originally contained. Or also foods with very little calories.
Thank You for any help!
xx
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[10 Dec 2007|12:27am] |
Hi girls.
I was just wondering, do you think I should turn vegetarian or not? I mean I am always on PETA and I just hate animal cruelty especially the way people kill and process animals. It just makes me feel sick, I really do hate it but I've just never really considered a change in lifestyle until now because I was raised on meat pretty much XD. Can anybody give me the benefits of being vegetarian and the downsides please?
Thanks
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| Failure... Sorry this entry is so long girls :P |
[10 Dec 2007|01:16am] |
It's Sunday.. My new diet was supposed to start today. I had done well, only 30 calories consumed, until it hit around six or seven at night. I don't know what happened... I gave in. I mean it's no different than the other failure's I've had. I just don't understand... I'm always so so motivated, and then once I reach a certain point I just break.
I enjoy the hunger, so it's not that, really. I love feeling empty inside. Pure. You guys know the deal, I'm sure. The biggest problem is that I get extremely nervous when I'm hungry for some reason. My mind will start racing and all I can think about is food. The next thing you know I'm pacing around the kitchen, twitching my feet, bouncing my legs, fiddling with my fingers and everything else in sight and just going crazy. And the only thing that can fix that is food. I really am clueless as to why this happens. Does anyone know why it happens, or ways I can avoid it? That would be soo amazing.
So anyways, the final total for today is 950 calories. I'm not so proud of it. That's all I have to say for right now. There's alot that needs to be said, but it'll have to wait till later because I really should get to bed now. Love you all!
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| DISTRACTIONS from eating |
[10 Dec 2007|01:53am] |
| go on a walk | | search for health/nutrition info on the www | | turn up the music and dance | | clean your house until everything looks untouched | | read a book or a magazine | | find out about finances and investing | | find out enough about a national issue to form a strong opinion | | do that thing you've been meaning to do for so long | | rent and follow a yoga or pilates video | | express yourself creatively | | wander and browse through the library | | read about the toxins and food that build up in the digestive system | | start writing in a journal about things besides calories | | make your own original, unique website | | have a movie fest | | volunteer somewhere | | get a job | | master your self-description (click for a good source of adjectives) | | play with your pet, they will love you | | call your grandparents | | go to howstuffworks.com and find out how stuff works | | exfoliate your entire body | | think about your life goals and how you'll reach them | | make someone a bracelet or a necklace | | read the newspaper - every word of it | | stop procrastinating | | do some extra credit |
i stumbled upon this and thought i would share think thin
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[10 Dec 2007|07:46am] |
Im 110 now!!!! Yes. I lost 2 lbs over the weekend. I exercised alot. 1 hr on the treadmill saturday, 1 hr cleaning the house, 5 hours stripping some table and chairs and staining them(thats hard work!!!). I ate nothing over 400 calories saturday...and nothing over 300 calories on sunday....I am feeling so good about this....but I still have 10 lbs to go...and only 2 more weeks till christmas....I hope I can pull that off....sometimes Im not sure if I can stay strong or not.....its aweful. I have so much food around me all the time...and Im starving....which I hate because I fill my body with 300-400 calories a day....but my fat self keeps wanting more.....but when Ieat more my stomach hurts.....ugh....its like a cycle...back and forth....binge...purge....restrict.....starve..........then it starts all over again
cw: 110
gw by christmas: 100
today
small bowl of rice chex cereal-160 cals
lunch-small salad-50 cals
supper-veggies, small portion of meat-200 calories
alot of water
410 calories today total
1 hr on treadmill
50 crunches, 50 squats, 100 leg lifts, weights
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[10 Dec 2007|08:02am] |
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so ive been away for about a week.. and feel like a failure.. i know i didtn gain any weight but i def didnt lose any.. which is a failure.. im going on a fast.. until friday... so 4 days.. nothing but coffee and water.. i want to be 112 before christmas.. cw-116? gw1-112 gw2-110 think thin xoxo
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[10 Dec 2007|09:52am] |
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aaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggghhhhhhhhh!!! well i went to an awesome bachelorett party but ate so much freakin crap cake cookies and then came home sunday nite and ate more crap. i was 127 and am 131 this morning. But my plan is to fast today and 2morrow and then do the 2468 thing except i really don't follow it exactly i just mix up my cals each day and never go over 800 like 500 100 800 fast ect. it worked really well when i stuck to it. Well i will post wed morning to let ya know how much i lost. if i stay with just tea and water today i usually lose 8-10 pounds in 2 days fasting so i could be 121-123 wed morning!!!!!haven't been that low in soooooooooo long! wish me luck and i wish everyone the best
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| Hate It All!!! |
[10 Dec 2007|10:15am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 sick |
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| [ |
music |
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Nirvana- Lake of Fire |
] |
Fuck, this weekend was a waste of fucking time!!!
I hate myself for letting go so much, the week was going so well. But I went and ate to much, again.
I won't even call it a binge, it's more like stuffing my face like stupid pig! I purged once on friday, and the rest of the weekend I ate like hell! My bf is coming back on Tuesday, so I'm starting a liquid fast today. I can see the fat on my face and stomach, that is from the "binge" I went on................. BITCH!
My cousin gave me a pair of jeans thats way to small for her and me( 2sizes) so before christmas I'll fit in them!
I need to, I know I can do it. I need to. I'm tired of feeling fat the whole fucking time!
Bang.... Bang....!
So, here is to my week fast, and fitting into those stunning pair of jeans!!
...Here is to all of you lovely ladies going on a fast.
Stay strong!
Peace.
Mwah!
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[10 Dec 2007|12:33pm] |
the other night me and my sister got into a physical fight! grrrr.
shes such a bitch!
well my hands are really dry and red, theres like red bumps on it and i dont know how this happened but i dont feel like going to the doctor and getting cream, because that cream shit wont probably work for me. i had these red bumps awhile ago and he gave me cream which didnt work, so whatever. doctors are annoying anyways!!
my sister made brownies the other day and i ate 3. uhgggg
but it looks to me like i didnt gain any weight which is good, but still i didnt loose any either.
<3
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[10 Dec 2007|12:42pm] |
hey guys
im stuck in hospital atm
just 2 update i ranaway on friday and 4 sum reason collapsed at the train station and was taken in2 hosp.
theyre tryna get me 2 eat here but im refusing 2.
anyone wana chat cos none of my frends r contactin me and im bored as hell!
how u ladies doin?
think thin
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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[10 Dec 2007|01:06pm] |
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mood |
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 aggravated |
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o wow....i;ve been doing sooooo good lately, then i went out to breakfast with some friends this morning....just to socialize....then i fucking ate a fucking cinnamon roll!!!!...wht the fuck was i thinking?.....ugh.....and it sucks when you eat food in the morning cuz then you feel like a fat cow the rest of the day...ugh....i hate myself right now....and i'm goin out of town next week to see family so you kno that that means that everyone will be eating alll the time...ugh...hopefully they'll will just leave me alone...or maybe i could just fake a stomach ache the whole week....i dunno.....ne ways...hows everyone else doin?
o and i might try to put up some pics later....if i feel like figuring out how to do it.....ne ways, if i do...please be SUPER critical!!!!...trust me i need it.
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[10 Dec 2007|01:23pm] |
sorry to double post
but the nurse just weighed me and im 132lbs which is pretty gud seein as i was like 140lbs on friday and the hosp is tryna make me gain weight :D
much love
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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[10 Dec 2007|01:32pm] |
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mood |
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 complacent |
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Hello Girls
Started The 2468 Diet Today =D
Hope I Dont Fuck Up
Everything Is Just Goin Wrong For Me At The Moment
:@.. Its Like The More I Try..
The More Everyone Trys To Ruin It
Arghh
Well Good Luck For This Week Girls..
Oh And Is Anyone Else On The 2468 This Week?
Love <3 xoxoxoxoxo
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| its been too long. |
[10 Dec 2007|01:37pm] |
its been way too long since i've posted. i've let myself go, again. as usual.
not this time. i am going to do the 2468, but a little differently. i'm going to eat 0 calories today, maybe 200 tomorrow, then hopefully, on wednesday, i'll only eat 200 (if any!).
and so on.
how much weight do you guys usually use when you fast?
do you think its possible to lose 15lbs by christmas?
good luck today!
think thin.
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[10 Dec 2007|01:40pm] |
i feel really weak today (despite that i ate enough yesterday - and already today), but basically i was 5 hours late taking my pill and i have my period again like one week after the last one. sorry too much information but i've had to double my iron because i have massive bags under my eyes and i'm mega dizzy when i stand from anaemia. bf went off on one about how it 'fits with symptoms' and its because i'm not eating enough - to be honest i've missed two pills before and this hasn't happened but i think its a coincidence. my weight is no where near low enough to stop/mess up like they did last time.
on the plus side i'm down another pound - probably won't be tommorow because my dad wanted to have lunch with me (he's being a bit funny about me eating and is effectively supervising me) so i made a tuna melt (seriously struggled with the cheese - but i weighed mine out while he was on the phone) wrap for both of us. i worked out mine came to 320 cals which isn't so bad seeing as i have a steamed vegetable pack for dinner which is 40cals so i can stick under 400 today and maybe liquid fast tommorow when my dad is back at work.
hope you're all doing well today
xx
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| ughhhh |
[10 Dec 2007|02:21pm] |
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mood |
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sick |
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so much for fasting today...i completely just binged. i ate a chicken sandwhich, fries and some chips and dip too. gonna go to the gym now and run 2 miles then come home and do some crunches. WATER for the rest of the day, NOTHING else, i have to burn off ALL of those calories and then some extra ones too. After running, crunches, weights and leg lifts. hope everyone elses day is binge free, unlike mine. gotta go run now!
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[10 Dec 2007|02:35pm] |
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hey girls.. wow it's been about a week since i've posted!! it's finals week and i'm super busy!! eeks!!! 2468 went okay but i want better results so i've decided to restrict myself to 500 cals a day & no more than 15g of carbs... i've tried low carb before and had great results!!! good luck to you all stay thin & beautiful!!! :) xx
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[10 Dec 2007|02:46pm] |
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mood |
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 in myself |
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Ugh ...I'm so fucking fat.
I just perged because I need to just get rid of this shit inside me. I havent even eaten at all today.
I'm going to go throw up some more.
Ugh it's because I'm fat. This guy would totally ask me out if he really liked me. I mean he keeps giving me mixed signals.
If I was skinnier he'd ask me out.
I'm so fat! I can't stand myself! Why can't I just be thin like I want to be.
I'm going on a liquid diet for the next couple days,
Anyone want to join me?
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[10 Dec 2007|03:47pm] |
Hey,
I just joined so I figured I should introduce myself. I'm emilie and I'm 19. I've been ED-NOS for about two years now, I keep switching between restricting and over eating, and I really just want to be small. Next fall I'm going to study abroad in Tokyo and I really don't want to be the fattest girl in Japan, so hopefully I'll be able to stick to restricting this time.
I don't really know what else to say so here is some ( Thinsperation. )
Also, if anyone wants to add me as a friend I always love to have more <3
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[10 Dec 2007|03:59pm] |
ahh.
i think i have the flu.
&& i feel like if i eat ima blow chunks.
So either way i win, right?
yay...
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| made new pro anorexia community! |
[10 Dec 2007|04:05pm] |
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mood |
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 accomplished |
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music |
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evanescence |
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proanorexia_two
was just made by me. feel free to join if you wish. it's just like proanorexia except you'll get in way faster, i can guarantee that! so if all you feel like you want to be part of the proanorexia_two community please join! i'm trying to get the community up and going. it'll be great and the more people that're part of it, the better!
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[10 Dec 2007|04:16pm] |
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mood |
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 dirty |
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I feel gross gross gross thought I was gonna pass out before class so I had to eat a salad piadina (they put bloody mayo in it! AAAAHHHH!)
I wouldn't have bothered if I just had to sit in the class like before but now that I'm bloody teaching it and have gotta stand up and look like I have loads of energy and stuff... it's sooooooo much worse! At least I'll still be able to stick under 500 today anyway so I'm sure it's ok. I'm seeing my bf on Sat, and there's no way he'll let me stay below 800 when I'm with him, so am gonna have to be really good this week and exercise and restrict like crazy... It'll be fine though, I'm sure I can do it.
Feeling pretty "dirty" though. Food has started to feel like that to me. It grosses me out watching people stuff their faces, and I can't imagine what it would be like to watch myself eating... Ugh!
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[10 Dec 2007|04:27pm] |
hey girls!
just an update as have been really busy. don't know my weight as they only place that has scales is the gym and ive been oo busy to go, although have been doing pilates, a lot of crunches and a lot of walking, and i can't buy any scales coz everyone will get well suspicous. im going home next week so will be able to weigh myself then. really hope i haven't gained though, have had a tough week, xmas is a hard time for me coz its when my dad died. When he died all i did was eat, im not even joking, i couldn't stop. thats why i am how i am now i think, you know one extreme to the other. although im still as greedy as and rubbish and restricting which is why i always end up binging and purging, i need to stop though, i can almost purge automatically now.
i need to be able to restrict and not binge, or not want to binge. its just to easy. im rubbish, fat and rubbish! maybe if i was more successful i wouldn't be so down all the time, god i hate it when i binge it makes me all horrible. and the paranoia, maybe if i was succesful and reached a goal then i would be less paranoid and more confident in myself? im soo paranoid that my bf will find someone skinner ect, i know he wouldn't leave me or cheat on me, but does anyone get the feeling that they're not good enough and that person could do so much better? thats how i feel :-(
anyway, hope you're all ok and doing better than me. any advise on trying to stop my binging is more than welcome as am runing out of ideas and don't want to have to purge for the rest of my life
xxxxxxxxx
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| not good |
[10 Dec 2007|04:46pm] |
today i was doing wll up untill 3 o clock, where i just ate too much, why did i hate to fuck up.. again.
urgh i feel awful :-(
hope everyone else is alright x
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| mhhh |
[10 Dec 2007|04:48pm] |
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mood |
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pissed off |
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ok so how r u ladys doing today, im ok..first i didnt eat anything untill about 4, then i ate a FUCKING PIECES OF MY BURDAY CAKE, and then a choclate thinger, then iwent and thu up until my eyes lookedl ike i was crying, that stupid yucky shit..i hate myself..y do i always do that..y couldnt i have not eaten at all..i am getting diet pills at lunch hopefully tomorrow, or after school i hope..gosh what a way to start being 14..GOSH..im a effing cow..AWH!!!!,,fuck i hate myself right now..hope u ladys are doing good..tell me about ur day,
xoxo
think thin
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| (random rant) |
[10 Dec 2007|05:06pm] |
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mood |
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 cold |
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music |
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Damien Rice - Cheers Darlin' |
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They say you're beautiful. You're bones, you look so thin. I want to look just like you, they confess. You take that to heart and then the admiration ends - you look sick, oh my, aren't you eating?
And you're confused, they love the end without the means.
It's just a way of finding pleasure without happiness. I want the outer and the inter, alprazolam and endorphines working together. I want to break something beautiful. Why not myself?
I was three when I knew I'd rather burn out than fade to old sagging age.
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[10 Dec 2007|05:11pm] |
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mood |
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 awake |
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Starting a new life
TODAY
no more binging
gym/workout EVERYDAY
lose weight
fit in size 1
gain control
:)
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[10 Dec 2007|05:18pm] |
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mood |
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 excited |
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Okay so I went to that modeling meeting with my mom and it went really well! It looks like she'll probably let me do it we're going back to the agency over winter break to take some pictures.They wanted to sign internationally but I can't until I'm 15 because it's illegal bubt oh well I can still do some local stuff. But it would be really cool to sign internationally when I'm 15 because I could fly all around the world!!!!!!I'm sort of mad at myself because I'd hardly eaten today and I just had a binge I had a donut and some babaganoush and french bread. Oh well I'll jjust have to work extra hard tomorrow to make up for it :).
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[10 Dec 2007|05:44pm] |
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if you read my last post about the 4day plan which claims you will loose 18lb... i start tomorrow!!
im very skeptical and dont believe it will work... but i am willing to give it a go as i have nothing to loose!!
here is the site if you want to check it out www.18in4.com : i have bought it so anyone which wants to do it with me leave your msn and ill send it you
* Stay Strong *
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[10 Dec 2007|06:09pm] |
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Hi! Im new and just joined...I have been looking at everyones entries for awhile know & i see how much surrounding your self with others like you can help. i personal lack will power and can not deal with it any more. every day i wake up and try to get in a routine of going to the gym before work and doing a hour of cardio then trying to stay within 300 calories. i was doing amazing for the first 3 weeks after my bf and i broke up ( which was the best thing i ever did for my self!!!) now i cant seem to control my urges to binge and eat what ever is in site. when i start eating i cant stop ! i despartely need to loose 20 lbs. i cant stand to look at myself in tight close. i wish i could wear skin tight jeans n tight tees and not be embarresed. people tell me all the time that im so beautiful but i do not feel that way. i want to have thin model legs and gorgeous cheek bones. i need your guys help! i need the support that no one else will give me. when i binge i dont want others to see me, i dont want to leave my house. im fat and i want to be beautiful!
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| And again... |
[10 Dec 2007|06:49pm] |
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mood |
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angry |
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:-/
This weekend I was doing fine on my liquid fast that I had going since Wednesday!
Untill lastnight...
I binged!
On salad, bread and rice...
But still, whyyyy!?
I tried to purge, but nothing!
Ughh. And laxes no longer seem to do the trick for me! :-(
Any suggestions?
Do you think I'll gain? :-O
Today I had was some mashed potatoes! Gross.
But starting tomorrow, it will be liquids all week long!
Keep me motivated!!! Please!
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[10 Dec 2007|07:13pm] |
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i'm doing a liquid fast tommorow. mum will be back and pressure me to eat dinner but i have an excuse for 'having cramp' and wanting to go to bed instead.
i just ate a jaffa cake. 46 cals, after that 300cals at lunch today. i'm still under 400 for today but i can't bear/cope seeing the scales go anywhere but down right now.
anyone want to join me? it'll be <100cals for me but all liquid (feeling quite weak at the moment so may have 30cal hot chocolate or 58cal slim-a-soup during the day if i feel i need it, tho preferably not).
xx
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[10 Dec 2007|07:19pm] |
fasting for one week starting today.
only eating 4 lollipops - 1 for break 1 for lunch 1 for snack 1 for dinner.
lollipop diet, anyone?
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[10 Dec 2007|07:22pm] |
Hey chicas =]
I'm feeling great today. In the past few weeks I've lost over 15 pounds! Yay! My Christmas goal actually looks possible now, only 5 pounds to go woo =]
2468 is going really well. I think I'm gonna fast a day between the cycle though so it's more like 02468 haha.
Good luck to anyone that's fasting and having cravings like crazy. You know can beat them!
Loveage xx
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| neww |
[10 Dec 2007|07:29pm] |
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mood |
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annoyed |
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heyy im new t o this names dani
im nto anorexic and i dont want to be overly skinny
but i do want to lose weight
but not go to the hospital cuz i am superskinny
i have belly fat and i want to get rid of it
i also h ave thigh fat
help me lose weight
any tips?
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[10 Dec 2007|07:38pm] |
Ok so im now out of hospital which im not sure is good or not cos now ive got my mum naggin me 24/7 and everyones gonna be bugging me about running away :(
Im now 131.4lbs and im hoping to be 130 by tomorrow.Wish me luck!
Think thin and stay strong ladies!
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
This is my fave quote atm:
They always say they're concerned about me,about my health,when all they want to do is control me.They want to pin me down and force feed me with lies,with what they call love.Like prisoners everywhere,all i have left is the power to refuse
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[10 Dec 2007|07:50pm] |
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mood |
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sick |
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Hey ladies (or guys I guess)
I cannot even begin to say how horrible tonight was. My mother just found out about my ED, and so she's making sure I eat, and tonight she made me eat a hamburger it was so horrible, I can't think of bad enough words for it... and now I feel so fat and gross and horrible, I'll have to do so much exercise to get rid of it.... but it will be worth it, cuz I will be thin. nobody can stop me. I'm not sure I could do it alone though. That's why I love you guys.
Think Thin girlies!
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[10 Dec 2007|07:53pm] |
i was called a fatty today by the only person at school who knows about rehab.
it kind of makes me believe that i am actually alone in this world. although i know i am not. i met this guy in rehab, and we got together, i know i have him, i know i have you guys, i know i got my family ut its just feels like everyone is a shadow and not really there.
i have to start restricting but ive got to give it another 2 weeks, so everyone thinks im eating properly again.. no way in hell is that ever going to happen. When im off my diet plan then i can start restricting.. alot.
But ive got a fitness regime so i can do some sports.. like swimming twice a week..
well this is me for the moment..
stay strong and dont let anyone bring you guys down...
xox
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[10 Dec 2007|07:58pm] |
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mood |
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determined |
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Okay so it's day 1 of my 2468 diet. And I totally failed already!
I had more like.. 300-400 calories which sounds like loads when I'm supposed to be sticking to 200.. :[
I will totally have to do a lot of exercise soon.
Tomorrow should be a lot better because I always used to stick to 500 cals a day, so I'm sure 400 won't be too hard. And I also know how bad it feels to fail now so I don't want that anymore.
I just have to keep thinking of that wonderful feeling of an empty stomach.. :]
Thinpso for you girls!
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| HELP! |
[10 Dec 2007|08:01pm] |
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music |
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Date Rape- Sublime |
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okay well i have the stomach flu and i supposed to be on liquid fast. well i was just gonna be happy with being sick, but my dr. called my mom and made me eat. I cant let he know about my ed, so i have to eat. I need some support^.^
Think thin and stay strong!
Candice
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| SORRY SO LONG< BUT HELP!!! |
[10 Dec 2007|08:06pm] |
Oh girls, I need your support more than ever. I'm having a terrible day. This week it's been hard getting back on track again. It's probably just because I haven't had the support of you girls. I haven't been online in so long...So heres an update.
I'm going to see my boyfriends favorite band tomorrow in concert in San Fransisco. I was trying so hard to get under my goal weight for tomorrow, so I could BP and not feel so terrible. Yesterday morning, I was at 122, I went to work, worked out, and got down to 121.4, and told myself I wasn't going to eat all day, and finally made it to sleep on an empty stomach. I have never actually made it through the day like that. I usually at least have a small bowl of salad every night. I also have been shying away from water, since it also makes me gain water weight. this morning I woke up so dehydrated I could barely move. It was tough walking myself downstairs. I finally weighed myself, and I was 120.4. I decided since I was feeling so shitty, I would try to drink some water, and take a few vitamins. I weighed myself again, and I was 120.8. This really pissed me off, but I had no energy to deal with it, so I went upstairs and tried to get ready. It took me about 10 minutes to walk the flight of stairs, and then I had to sit down. I finally made it to my car, and called my boyfriend. He insisted I take some airborne, but I didn't. Then for some fucking retarded reason I decided we should go to breakfast. I ordered a belguim waffle with strawberries, something I was going to eat tomorrow, and a hot chocolate, and I finished the whole thing. On the way home my boyfriend wanted to talk about my E.D. He said he thinks I need some treatment, and I told him i'm not ready. I know I've fucked with my metabolism so much, that I will gain 5 pounds if I try to eat completely normal. I went inside after he went home, and weighed myself, and I was 123! :[ I purged, and now i'm 121.8. At least Its not 123 though. I'm really having trouble looking on the bright side. I'm going to take some exlax, and maybe I'll be 121 by tonight. Then tomorrow I can be 120.
What do you all think I should set my next goal weight at?
I'm 5'8"
121.8 as of now.
GW 1: 119
GW 2: ???
I just want someone to talk to.
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[10 Dec 2007|08:08pm] |
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!!!!!
IM STILL 142!!!! i TOTALLY FORGOT i WAS SUPPOSE TO DO 250 CALS TODAY! i FORGOT!!! i WAS 14O THIS MORNING AND AFTER NOON. UNTIL I FORGOT I HAD TO DO 250 ONLY!!!! ANNY SUGGESTIONS MY PEEPS!??!?i WOULD LOVE THAT! I KNOW THAT MOST OF YOU MIGHT BE PISSED OFF AT ME! I'M SORRY!
-XOX,
aDRINA
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[10 Dec 2007|08:20pm] |
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mood |
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 i want to feel empty |
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I need support. I need ideas. I feel as if I lose, but then I hit a plateau. Please help me.
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[10 Dec 2007|08:21pm] |
Hi Everyone,
hows everyone doin??? hopefully better than me!!!
soz i havent been on here for a while neways here goes......ive bin really really bad....i am soooo ashamed its unbelievable!!! it was my werk xmas party on fri, i didnt feel too good so my bf stayed with me in the hotel and we had indian take away (AAAAGGGGHHHHH!!!) and he was like wat do u want and i sed ill just share wat eva he's havin, so he got rice and lamb curry and a chappatti and yogurt (didnt eat that) so i had the chappatti dont like lamb so didnt have ne of the meat then had rice so i had a couple of spoons of rice.....then we went straight to bed....i was sooooo embarressed taking my clothes off to get into bed, i felt soooo FAT lying next to him....i was hoping he'd fall asleep be4 me so i could go n purge but didnt happen as i was too cold to get out of bed i kno i kno lame excuse!!!
neways, the following day i was doing well i only had a cup of coffee in the morning an didnt have nething else till my bf suggested we take my lil sis to dinner in central london so i was like ummmm ok. AND i was kinda hungry...lol
we went to ASK and i had olives, a small glass of white wine and meatballs and pasta.....went to the loos and purged big time....i dnt think he or my sis noticed....my sis had come dwn with me but i told her i wanna take sum pix in the loos and if she cud get my camera from my bag upstairs...i purged as much as i could i think i only got a lil bit out though....eeeeewwwww!!!!!
anyways, ive started my liquid diet as my 2468 has gone down the drain coz if i eat then i dont stop eating!!!!
lets hope i can atleast get through this week on liquid diet and then ill do 200 cals max over the w/e and then start agen on liquid.
neways...well done to all the ladies who have got through this last week and maganed to lose the weight and im with u guys who havent had much luck losing anythin as i ma in the same boat as u!!!
i love u guys
MWAH!!!
THINK THIN GALS THINK THIN!!!!
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[10 Dec 2007|09:05pm] |
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home is where the heart is - mcfly |
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hi girls [:
i used to be here a lot.
every night, every morning, talking to you.
letting you know how i'd got on.
but i got weak, and scared and ran away from you.
shortly after, my mum found my diary, and food i'd been hiding.
she soon found out about my anorexia/bulimia.
i was at the doctors next day.
officially diagnosed mia, with ana tendencies.
since then, i've been going to a mental health hospital for adolescents.
she's trying to fix me.
but tbh, i feel no different towards food.
i still hate it with all my guts.
but now though, i have no control, i can't stop myself eating it.
i've put on every pound i lost back on, including an extra one.
111.
:[
a single day doesn't go by in which i don't think about you lovely girls (& guys i'm sure)
i wish i could go back to when i was in control.
i miss you.
i want to get back on track.
& i will.
i just need your support once again.
so yeah,
here i am.
ready and willing for anything.
i want to be 74 still.
stats.
height: 5ft
HW: 111
LW: 97
GW1: 90
GW2: 84
FGW: 74
[:
so give me your motivation.
throw your thinspo at me.
let me know how you have gotten on.
& help me again.
p.s. thanks if you read this. mega long i know [:
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[10 Dec 2007|09:08pm] |
It's kinda sad at how much the posts have decreased.
It's also sad how most of us don't even get support when posting.
Bleh.
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[10 Dec 2007|09:09pm] |
I think my mom is catching on.
But I might just be being paranoid.
I need to learn how to control myself.
I've been binge eating a lot lately.
This isn't me.
I think it's only when I'm around food though.
Good thing I've been running A FREAKIN' TON.
Anyone have any tips on helping me learn self-control?
Ha.
I'm so helpless.
Good luck skinny loves. <3
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[10 Dec 2007|09:10pm] |
I just realised how useless the hospital is!
I mean they knew about my ED and i didnt eat anything while i was in there yet they still let me out!
Im not complaining obv but they are a bit useless tbh! haha
Oh and they never actually said i had an ED but they said i had 'eating issues' which basically means im too fat to have an ED :(
Anyways good luck to all you ladies for tomorrow
Thin is in!
Think thin my darlings
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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[10 Dec 2007|09:17pm] |
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Hi Girlies
Do any of you watch America's Next Top Model? I really llike it. I also really liked Tyra Banks until like 5 minutes ago. I wasn't planning on coming back on today but I just had to put this down. I watched this thing where Tyra was like, being really mean to anorexic girls. And like, she was so skinny when she was a top model, she can't have eaten like 1000 calories a day or whatever ridiculous number is considered normal. So I was really sad. Like, I always thought Tyra was a supportive person who accepted people, but apparently not. I'm so glad I have you guys. Only you know what it's like.
Remember Ladies, Thin is Beautiful!
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[10 Dec 2007|09:17pm] |
S0 I WAS WONDERIN DOES ANYONE NO OF ANY REALLY GOOD STOMACH WORK OUTS??? KUS RITE NOW ALL IM DOIN IS 2 SETS OF 50 CRUNCHES.. BUT I WAS WONDER IF YOU ANY GOOD ONES...
-THNX
THINK THIN :)
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[10 Dec 2007|09:22pm] |
Wow, I have not written for a couple of weeks. That's mainly because if been losing control! :'(
At first was amazing.. especially when the scale was 105!... until I started getting depressed and therefore, binged like crazzzzzy.. and now im 115. But looking at the bright side, tonight is my LAST time for binging. for reall.
Today i missed all day of skewl .. i was at the hospital with 3 different doctors and i was officially diagnosed with anorexia and now i havta go in a few times a week for therapy. I want help outa this, which is to stop binging. I am not going to be gaining weight tho.. ive already decided that. Im losing again and thats all theres to it. Im starting tomrow ive already started making up my meal plan. This is tomrow: breakfast=tea, lunch=stick of celery and a few slices of cucumber supper= salad with vinegar on it.
and diet pills will be taken in the morning! .. i cant wait to start. finalllllllllllly getting back on track and i will finally be happy again.....
hows this sound !?!?
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[10 Dec 2007|09:36pm] |
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Hey Ladies,
I need some serious support. It's all I can do not to binge like crazy. I think my period makes it worse. I haven't had my period in a while but now it's back. I'm not exactly thrilled. Anyway talking to you guys is the only thing that keeps me under control. My new goal weight is 120. OMG, just seeing that number makes me sick. I wish it would, then I could barf. I was at 115, only 5 pounds to go till I reached my goal wieght. Then my mom found out I was anorexic. Anyways, now I'm a fat cow. So i can't binge. I will be thin. Again. I will.
Bones are beautiful girls.
You keep me sane.
xoxoxoxoxoxoxo
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| lose w8 (by) fast b4 2008! |
[10 Dec 2007|09:49pm] |
its only 3 weeks till new year 2008 and i thought about getting a NEW start. but last year i was a fialure...so the idea is popped up!!!
Instead of getting New yr as a good start, why dont I get ready by lose w8 as much as poss b4 2008 comes?! reasoms;
1. I will be thin around my friends, cousins on new yr eve celebration!
2. I dont wanna be called or recognised by old friemds or cousins like "oh ur bigger? or u seem to put on alot of weight...bla bla bla"
3. I will look great on tiny outfit on new yr eve!
4. I just cant let mysf bein this fat anymore (5'3 112 yesterday). im kinda extreme so if i dont fast, u know where i will end up.
ok so its totally 3 week or 21 days from tomorrow . my plan may b nothing cos i got food poisoning today. if i eat, i get sick..oh i can use it as a NO FOOD excuse ;)
3weeks plan..
weight in + measurement
drink water+lemonade/cider vinegar
get enema
B-yoghurt
coffee
L-yoghurt
coffee
D-Tea
Exercise (eg. walKing, yoga, swimming or even XXX ;)
S-Soda+ciggy
drink herbal tea (it makes u poo the next morning)
update Food & Ana diary
PS: allow food is apples, oranges, yoghurt, diet soda, coffee, ciggies, sugar-free gums
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[10 Dec 2007|09:51pm] |
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HEY IM SAT HERE DRINKING A MUG OF COFFEE!!!!!! anyways im not ever doing 2468 diet cuz its a load of pants. and i cant do it tomorrow im plannin on startin my fast my own way lol. i hate havin to start the fast but when u get started ur ok i suppose if u know what i mean hope u gurls are all okay an doin gd. not long till crimbo so i hope u really are achieving ur goal weightsxxxxxx wish me luck and t.c xxxxx luv yall
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[10 Dec 2007|09:59pm] |
i feel a binge coming
so ive run up to the pc and came on here
i feel a little bit safer now
HELP!
just tell me not to eat and ill be happy !
xx
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[10 Dec 2007|10:07pm] |
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Shit Shit Shit... I just had a binge and I can't purge cos I'm on the effing pill and if I purge then I may get pregnant. Can't even explain to my bf as he thinks I'm better. Wasn't so bad at first, a bit of bread and some veggies. Then... Chocolate! Three big squares of the stuff. I'm such a failure I don't even deserve to be here. Someone help how do you get through nervous hunger crisis?
I'm such a fat effing cow.
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| New member.... |
[10 Dec 2007|11:34pm] |
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I had to create a different account to write about this because my friends were giving me crap and I didn't want them to read it along with my ana friends or ask why I wasn't posting anymore.
Cut for a lengthy 'About Me.'
<lj-cut text="Here I Am">
I used to be a lot heavier than I am now but I was fine with it because I was still super skinny. All of my weight was muscle so it was ok because it meant that I worked out a lot and that was GREAT. I still had to watch my weight because I work as an exercise rider at a racing barn and we get fired if we weigh too much since there's so many skinny girls out there. I also do some swimsuit modeling (want to do lingerie next year when I'm 18) to make extra money. I never used to restrict because if I didn't eat enough then I wasn't allowed to go see my horse or go to the gym to work out. My parents only let us eat healthy food too so I could eat, like six bowls of salad without dressing or cheese or anything and not have that many calories but not make them mad (Mom's a former model, dad's Army, and sister's a dancer so we all try to eat really healthy). I don't like purging because then I get too dizzy and fall off while galloping the horses and that's super dangerous.
Anyway, I got sick and needed surgery and I lost 15lbs and I was so happy. It was amazing to be able to fit into a size 2 instead of a 6 because of my thighs. Then this week I got the all clear and went to go see my trainer and she gave me some really disgusting news and now I feel like a total pig and I need you guys to help me! She made me do this dunk tank thing to figure out my body fat % and I'm 22% fat!!!!! HOW DID THIS HAPPEN? I'M SKINNY AND I USED TO ONLY BE 4% FAT!!!!!!</lj-cut>
Stats:
5'2" 105lbs
Lowest Weight: 87.5
Goal weights ????
Goal Body Fat %: 2%
How do I lose all that fat? Its over 20lbs of disgusting rippling fat that's making me so ugly!
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anorexicqueen
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