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[20 Nov 2007|12:54am] |
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Today I only ate 300 calories or a little less. :) Could anyone recommend a really accurate scale? Mine just throws all kinds of numbers at me. It’s frustrating to not know exactly where I stand.
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[20 Nov 2007|02:48am] |
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K so, I'm a post whore. I admit it. Anyways as the rest of you I am dreading thanks giving. I'm thinking I can get away with things just fine. I'm just worried that it will be my binge/purge day. After I do really well for a while I have one of those days where I just can't control what I shove in my mouth. So I was thinking I would invite this guy Josh I like to thanks giving with me & I would do perfect that way. Well he didnt call me when he got home from the bar tonight so I can't really invite him until I talk to him. Pretty lame. & I know this isnt what this site is for but... I kind of have to vent. So I will put it under a cut.
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[20 Nov 2007|06:00am] |
Hey girls, I haven't posted in a while but I've still been on the sight everyday. Towards the end of the summer, my weight was at it's highest point and I was so depressed. My family even told me I was gaining weight and had to lose it. Finally, all year I've been doing whatever it takes to lose weight, eating very healthy and light, going to the gym with a trainer almost everyday of the week... it has really paid off. My family and friends think I look great and don't need to lose anymore weight.
It's weird though.. I keep thinking I'm healthy and I've escaped the depression this disease has caused on me.. but in reality I make myself throw up almost everyday and I think I force myself to ignore it. I don't know what's wrong with me. When I used to purge, it would really make me depressed. Now, I purge, I'm done, and I continue on with my day.. Ugh whatever, I really hate that it's so easy for me to purge and that it's becoming a daily habit. If anyone is going through what I am-please help!
Anyway, even though everyone thinks I look great.. I still need to be skinnier. I'm never satisfied with myself. I hate it. I can never fully love how I look and it really brings me down.
Today I'm going to really restrict myself to what I eat. I'll probably eat three light healthy snacks throughout the day and load up on diet coke and water. GYM TONIGHT! Napping throughout the day helps me not eat. ps. i've become a GYM ADDICT. Going to the gym with my amazing trainer is the highlight of my day.. I think having a trainer is great motivation, he/she will really keep you going! Try it if you can't seem to like going to the gym. :)
love you girls, hope everything is well x
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[20 Nov 2007|06:21am] |
I binged & purged almost an entire pizza a brownie & a piece of meat loaf
I'm weak. fucking pig. Weak Weak Weak.
& now my throat fucking hurts like a bitch. That was a lot of damn pizza.
Then I went for a walk for about... 30 mins or so? It was 5am when I left my house & I saw this really creepy van...
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[20 Nov 2007|06:23am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 tired |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Evans Blue |
] |
Since friday I've at a little bit of broccoli and just liquids...
I've never done so good. And It's Tuesday still :)
The bad is I can't stop shaking and I get too dizzy at class.
And my heart is beating like super fast right now... Anyone knows why???
I recently went out of a relationship and a guy already asked me to hang out! I'm so happy... He's awesome. I can't wait to see him :P
I wanna know how's everyone doing? Let's talk.
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| hmmmm |
[20 Nov 2007|08:03am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 yay for me! |
] |
so far this morning... tea with non-fat milk and 3 grapes. woohoo. i made breakfast for my brother but didnt touch a thing (very proud of myself!) hehe and thats all im having for the day until like dinner. something really light. last night i went healthy food shopping and i got lettuce so i think i might make myself a salad! =D today i looked so skinny in my outfit. i felt really good. although i hate my thighs. ive been noticing that they dont touch anymore. at the end of the week im going on the scale .. hoping i see good results. later on today i have to make brownies and cookies for my moms bf's birthday.. which is today. so hopefully its just a bite. i dont want to ruin anything. im on track. lets keep it that way. thinkk extremely thin. ladies.<3
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[20 Nov 2007|08:30am] |
just woke up...
i have gained weight im so pissed idk how i didnt eat that much yesterday.... i knew i shouldnt of gone to the mall.... im not eating ANYTHING today. so lets hope i can get to where i was on sundayy. im so tired... im probly gonna go back to bed..... ughhh i have so much homework.
sorry im just complaining about everything today....
-victoria
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| jokwerfinqkwdlfkqnwfe |
[20 Nov 2007|09:15am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 blank |
] |
oh my god, i want to cry. ive gained like 10 lbs, and i was just starting to look thin and i got shipped off to renfrew where i gained like 5 lbs and they made me eat so fuckin much. i was only there for two weeks but it was the worst experience of my life. and now im gaining even more weight and my mom monitors all my meals and stays with me for an hour after so i can't purge and im sedated and they have me on these fucking pills and mood stabilizers and it took away my good moods and all my motivation for everything, especially losing weight. i can't even go to the gym because my meds are giving me low blood pressure and i black out like every other day. this whole situation just sucks. it would help if u all keep posting how well your doing, that should boost my motivation. im sick of going to the bathroom after meals and having to sing or count, i just want to get my motivation back before my weight goes back up to 140, which isn't that far away.
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[20 Nov 2007|09:47am] |
2nd Day Of Fast
OMG TODAY I TEXT MY FREIND WHO IS FASTING WITH ME SAYOIN
' Not Ate Yet :D '
And I Accidently Sent It To My Mum
I Dont Wot Too Say Cos I Normally Tell Her I Had A Big Dinner In School
So She Made Me Dinner
Grrr :(
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[20 Nov 2007|10:01am] |
I just realized that my ass is disgustingly huge.
What exercises will bring that down?
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| .... |
[20 Nov 2007|10:16am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 sad |
] |
| [ |
music |
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RHCP-Under the Bridge |
] |
I just got a phone call from my bf....
He's going to rehab, his therapist said he needs to get away from everything. For a whole week.
The cutting, drinking, smoking weed... & the fact that he walked out of his job. It's going to make everything worse, I'm so scared...
Atleast I can fast for the whole week, but I don't want him to go...
There is no need to eat...
Love you all.
Mwah
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[20 Nov 2007|10:25am] |
Here Is Some Thinspo
    
Hope It Help
xx
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[20 Nov 2007|11:31am] |
Alrighty. so from my horrible binge i gained back four of the seven pounds i lost. fuck.
fast starting today. as long as i can go.
anyone wanna join me?
think thin!
-!marcella
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| HELP!!! |
[20 Nov 2007|11:49am] |
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mood |
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 annoyed |
] |
does anyone know anything about the master clean diet??? ive been on the net to try and research it and find out how you start it but every single website requests flipping money before they tell you how to do the diet!!!
thanks girlies xxxxx
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[20 Nov 2007|11:57am] |
what diet pills do you guys recommend? i just tried some that haven't worked very well....i would appreciate the feedback
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Maus
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| i know... another double post. |
[20 Nov 2007|12:35pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 accomplished |
] |
im sorry that i keep posting but i feel like when i post i have to stick to what i sayy. if you know what i mean?
anways. still nothing to eat.. i have had to bottles of greentea and i am feeling really good. it finally stopped raining and it is sunny, wich is nice for a change... i feel like im losing the weight i have gained but i still feel fat.. this is gonna sound weird but i have this weird obsession with staring at my stomach in the mirror. i dont know why but whenever i walk past a mirror i cant resist and i just stare at myself.. idk if anyone else doe sthat but idk.. its like veryyy OCD of me. does that sound weird or is it normal?
idk
good luck to all of you!
-victoria
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[20 Nov 2007|12:47pm] |
Okay My new plan....I think if I have a PLAN everyday I will follow it, instead of just trying to stay away from foods everyday....plans help keep me on track
Do not go over 600 cals a day.
Exercise 1-2 hrs a day.
Lose 15-20 lbs by Christmas.
Foods I can only eat: grapes, strawberries, green beans, corn, small baked potato, salad, chicken breast(only 4 oz), low cal soups, green tea, water, coffee, low cal cranberry juice, turkey(lean), sugar-free jello, gum, low cal cereals, fish(98 cals per fish), small cups of low cal rice.
ANy other foods that are good ?? Low cal, low fat, low carb?? And I will not have anything else except for these foods...no matter what tempts me. I am going to do this seriously. I need to stop saying I will and then fail. Im tired of failing....I want to win...I want to be thin.
So I am at 117 lbs....goal is to lose 15-20 by christmas. Im 5'4
If I lose 15 that should bring me to 103 lbs....if I lose 20 thats 98 lbs. Those two weights are target goals.
So mainly for breakfast I either have: fruit or low cal cereal...hopefully to keep this under 120 cals.
Lunch- fruit or lean meat on salad, or just plain sald....keep this under 120 cals
Supper- fish, chicken, rice, veggies, baked potato, or salad....keep this under 300
Snack- jello, gum...or some sugar free candy....
Altogether I hope to stay under 600 cals each day and exercise at least for an hour on my treadmill.
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[20 Nov 2007|12:49pm] |
heyyy girls.
i've been good today. nothing but some tea yet
i hope you're all doing reallllllly really good too!
so me and some other girls are challenging eachother to lose 20 lbs by christmas.
if u wanna join too, there's a community up called 20xChristmas, and anyone's free to join, as long as ur gonna try REALLY hard to make this.
love you all!
-Bethany-
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| Day Six - I'm not saying that... |
[20 Nov 2007|01:08pm] |
....I'm not breaking some hearts tonight, girl...
Oh how I do love TAI! And This Providence and Cute Is What We Aim For and Sherwood and the Rocket Summer. I totally jammed out at work today =)
I am in a super fantabulous mood because I have eaten a whopping.....16 cals today!!!! And it was al burned off and then some when I walked to work and back in the FREEZING rain and snow today. I have also lost 3 pounds thus far, however that is not official and I won't let it be until Saturday when I measure again. My back end and my thighs still look huge though....it sure doesn't look like 3 pounds lighter....
Anyway, I am gonna go play with Scooter now. She ismy kitty and I love her dearly. The boyfriend is on his way to his home for the holidays - I can't wait to see him in 9 days!!!
I can however, wait to see all the food his mom will have so graciously left for us. Ugh.
How am I going ot get through that weekend with him? I thought Turkey Day would be difficult, but really, he is gonna wonder why I am not eating...and I will blow up if any of those cheesy potatoes so much as touches my lips.
=/
Suddenly 16 calories is too much....argh!
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[20 Nov 2007|01:11pm] |
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mood |
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 cheerful |
] |
yay,
today i'm feeling rather accomplished so far.
i've had two mint lollies (doing exams at the moment, the mint stimulates my brain for some reason lol) - 50 cal.
three grapes, (i'm just going to round it up to 40 cal lol)
and two coke zero cans. (3 cal ?)
and it's already late afternoon.
so, totals something around or under 100 cal.
all i have to get through is my afternoon hunger pangs,
and decide what i have for dinner.
i think i'll probably just have a vanilla & hazelnut yogurt (100 cal)
which will put me at 200 cal for today.
which i am quite pleased about. :)
i had a cigarette when i got home from exams as well,
that has relaxed me soooo much for some reason.
maybe because i had an empty stomach before i had it ?
all i'm going to do this afternoon is snooze in the sun outside (mmm summer)
and maybe pick up some study later tonight for exams tomorrow.
stress motivates me, i love it.
<33333
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[20 Nov 2007|01:12pm] |
hey all,
i used to be a super avid poster, not it's kinda so/so. good news is that my stats have majorly improved. ive lost about 20 lbs overall
stats
Hw: 127
cw: 107
gw1: 105
gw2:100
gw3 ?: 90-95
height: 5'6"
xxxx
Maus
p.s. my sn is SydneyStardust
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| Hi everyone! |
[20 Nov 2007|01:13pm] |
Y EY I overcame the stupid craving for gross hashbrowns.. >.< Thanks to stay_strong_b!! =D SO just water so far today.. Hows everyone else?
Id LOVE to hear how you are doing!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3uuy-T9AoU8
This is a thinspo i have made.. Please watch! And enjoy!
Be strong!
-SierraxX
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| Hello! |
[20 Nov 2007|02:31pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 cold |
] |
Hey girls!
I'm brand new to this community, but not to having an ED.
I've been an Ana for about a year now.
I appreciate the support, and love all the feedback I see! So I finally joined!
Here are my stats:
*AGE: 18
*HEIGHT: 5'9
*HW: 135
*LW: 108
*CW: 115
I haven't yet decided on a goal weight quite yet!
I'm a vegetarian! :-)
Chocolate and pizza = MY WEAKNESS! Ugh!
Thanksgiving is on it's way, and so is the poison! :-X
I have been on a liquid fast for three days so far- so good!
If you want to chat feel free to ask for my AIM screen name!
:-D
XOXO
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[20 Nov 2007|02:49pm] |
I am engaged :D my fiance(smiling) proposed in the most romantic way last night
and I didn't even see it coming ! I am only 18 but that doesn't matter,
he told me we didn't need to get married until I was ready , he just wanted me to know
that I was the only girl he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.
he has stuck by my side and he is really understanding about my ed and everything.
I love him so much, he really is my everything ! (cheesy I know)
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[20 Nov 2007|03:01pm] |
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mood |
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 shocked |
] |
OMG, my mate was babysitting for some people she knows on the weekend,
6 year old girl
8 year old girl
and 8 month old girl
So she put the two older girls to bed at there bed time, and then waited for the 8 month old baby to fall a sleep, when the baby did, she toke the baby up stairs and put her in her cote, so she goes back dawn stairs, about 10 min later the baby is screaming so she goes back up stairs, and the baby is just in it cote screaming she picks her up and takes her back dawn stairs, the baby goes back to sleep straight away, so back upstairs she puts the baby, about 10 min later the baby is screaming , she tries to settle the baby, and the baby just want settle so she takes the baby back dawn stairs and yes, the baby go back to sleep.
So this happens about four times, so now she is really worried, so she calls the parents and farther answers,
My mate : "The baby, want go to sleep upstairs, i think it is becouse of the clawn in the corner of the bedroom"
Farther: "What clawn?"
My mate: "The big clawn in the corner"
Farther: "No there is no clawn in the corner"
My mate: "Yes there is a big teddy one, it is really big"
Farther: "No, there is not i will be home now, phone the police"
So she phones the police, and waits for the parents to turn up. The farther turns up first, runs straight upstairs, and the clawn is still there, so he starts to hit it......
IT WAS A MAN, DRESSED IN A CLAWN COSTUME!!!!!!!!!!
come on, how the hell did he get in there?
What was he doing to that baby?
The police got him now, they had to drag the farther of him
How scary is that!!!
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[20 Nov 2007|03:12pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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cold |
] |
| [ |
music |
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no son of mine- every time i die |
] |
my mom is on to me..
she keeps on telling me that i need to eat or i will get sick
and that the lack of fat on my body is kind of gross.
fuck her.
and my step dad..
calling me a loser.
what an ass.
height- 5'7
cw- 118
gw- 104
hw- 132
lw-110
ive been up for about an hour and i havent had anything but tea with splenda
and my new pills for a.d.d. are taking away my appetite
makes me so happy.
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| Sob... |
[20 Nov 2007|03:35pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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exhausted |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Amy Winehouse (radio) |
] |
A whole week without him, but I will get through this.
Anyway, I'm going on a week fast, from today. There will be no1 to watch me & by Saterday I will look skinier just for him!!! I love it!!! So it will only be liquads- LOADS of WATER!!!! I need to do this for me & him. And you ladies, coz you are the best support!!!
My cousin want's to go on a diet, But I'd rather fast for now. I need to lose- so I will jog and exercise like mad this week. No use fasting and no exercise...
Mwah...
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[20 Nov 2007|03:36pm] |
major craving coming on.
crossaint and peppermint hot chocolate.
HELP!!! im supposed to be fasting
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| Im Not Doing So Well! |
[20 Nov 2007|03:39pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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angry |
] |
Heyy everyone,,
Im not doing so well i feel upset and anger with myself for being so weak!
i just ate TWO chocolate muffins and i dnt know why=[ well i think it was cuz my apperntly best mate was slagging bout me and lied to my face!!
Tht got me really angry
Apart frm all tht stuff I was doing well, all i ate was 1 crumpet and lots of water.
Anyway i think im going to purge now to get all those cals out
Does anyone no a really quick way of loosin lots of whieght??
Love Yoo Karmen
-ox
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[20 Nov 2007|03:42pm] |
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I havent posted on here for about a month
when i last posted i was 140 and now im 128
For me i think thats good as ive had people forcing me to eat
Why Cant They Get It into there heads, i Dont want to eat ,
&& unlike Them i cant eat like a pig and not put any weight on.
:@ Enough Of The Rant !
I really want to be 119 by xmas , i really hope i can and that means ive got to lose
9 pounds in 36 days, I really HOPE I can reach that goal =]
Can You Give Me Some Motavation to be able to reach that goal
Thanks
=]
x
THINK THIN
"Inner Beauty Is For Fat People"
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[20 Nov 2007|03:42pm] |
so fat today had a cup of tea. 3 grapes and a cookies.
i feel so fat. i think im gonna have a salad for dinner
than exercise.
and yea i look at my stomach too. and i feel disgusting but i ALWAYS look
idk if its OCD but it might be. never really thought about it
cw=111
gw=100
gw2=95 and less.
trying. ughhh. this isnt hard but i think we eat b.c all we do is think about food all day since we cant/shouldnt eat it
am i right????
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[20 Nov 2007|03:49pm] |
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mood |
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cranky |
] |
OK. I NEED TO CHEER UP-----
in addition to everyone else. weekends suck. EVERYONES do. like, you dont work/ arent in school so there is no structure.
BUT girls, there is something we can do about it. STAY POSITIVE and keep ourselves busy. i know when i eat is when im at home and im hungry + bored. it sucks. but such is life and its time to realize what our goals are and constantly be thinking about them when we find ourselves face to face with a fattening treat.
ughhhhhh anyways,
i need to stop being like, o its ok to have an apple! cause then it turns into an apple, ice cream, a burger, and two bananas like today. omg
soooooo fasting all this week. i dont even fucking care if im hungry. my fucking stomach can growl all it wants. im not gonna feed it.
(sorry for the cursing girls, im just in a bad mood)
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| Hey everyone. |
[20 Nov 2007|04:13pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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depressed |
] |
Major binge day. I started off good, just hot chocolate and rice cakes for breakfast [180 cals together] and I was planning to not eat anything, but of course, my teacher decides to buy everyone fucking Chinese food. I had beef and broccoli with rice. Which makes my total for the day 676 calories. Well I certainly fucked up. Ugh.
Anyways. Yesterday I decided to push myself to the limit, and instead of just doing 100 crunches, I did 450. Woo. I did them in increments of 50 though. Is that cheating? Do they still count? Whatever. I'm going to start planning out the food for the day the night before.
When will I get some freaking control?
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[20 Nov 2007|04:20pm] |
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mood |
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 determined |
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hey ladies!
well today was been a lot better than the past few. i haven't binged and haven't purged at all today. thats quite an achievement for me, as ive decided to stop binging and purging, and instead fast a few times a week. anyway, went to th gym and could really feel my abs working and my stomach is almost completely flat. i love noticing new achievements, gives you the strength to carry on. haven't been as moody lately, not sure if thats because i haven't been binging so haven't been feeling guilty...i dunno. but its a start. im going to get to my goal, i an feel it. this is a new me! no binging and no purging, if i eat then i need to face the consequences instead of just throwing up!
does anyone else get really moody when they've been binging/purging?? anyway am going out tonight (eek) with th girls. and its a cocktail bar!!! i know but i can't not have at leat one, my housemate is already suspisious. does anyone a low cal one? i spose non of them are low cal. i might have to allow myself to purge just once tonight.
how are all you doing??
i love coming on here, you guys are all my thinspo!!
xxxxxxxxxxxxx
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[20 Nov 2007|04:21pm] |
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mood |
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 bored |
] |
Hey girls! Okay so this morning I went to Starbucks because I was with my mom so that was a little binge I got a lite syrup low fat chai with lite syrup pumkin spice. Since then I haven't eaten anything except half a stalk of celery which was only like 4 cals. I'll probably have to eat dinner but either I'll purge or go to the gym after to get rid of some of those cals. It sucks tomorrow is my dad's b-day so I'll probably have to have cake (my parents are already suspicious so I'm trying to be extra careful around them) then is Thanksgiving and while I might be able to get away without breakfast and lunch I'm going to have to have dinner because again I don't need anyone to be suspicious but I can probably restrict it to a pretty small amount and since almost my whole family are vegetarians I won't have to worry about turkey or gravy or a few other things that have a high cal content.
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| yyaay |
[20 Nov 2007|04:47pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 bouncy |
] |
made a new diet plan and if i stick to it..in like less than three weeks i'll be 66lbs!! And the diet plan does have some food..so its all pretty good reeeally!
and like 78lbs by Sunday 2nd December
Which is when i'm seeing MAROON 5!! YAAAY!
but i'll have to stay over at my friends house and eat so they dont suspect things
I AM SO EXCITED..yaay..maroon 5's new song is fabaroo, good stuff.
Sorry if you like hate them, but if you love them then wooo.
love you xx
p.s. if you have myspace my new one is www.myspace.com/funnyboneslove
wooo
think thin!
xxx
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| ..newbe [?] |
[20 Nov 2007|04:50pm] |
hey. .I'm new here
and i really need to lose weight......
like 3months ago I lost 37lb which was great :D
but since then i gained 11lb -.-
it's sou awful with me.....so I decided that I have to loose those 11lb and at least 22lb more!
so...does anyone of you know some good exercise for loosing weight on the hips ?
<3
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| Hi! |
[20 Nov 2007|05:29pm] |
Hello everyone!
i wanted to introduce myself. my name is allie. i've had an ed for 3ish years. i'm first year uni, have NO clue what i want to study and basically i'm trying to get as skinny as possible while i'm because there's no supervision. =] Anorexia is the only way i can deal with stress. P.S. i don't capitalize i s or my name because im not worth it. so sorry if that really bugs you.
stats:
Age:18
CW:110.8
HW:129 [ewewewewew]
LW:105
GW:100
LGW:90-95
♥
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| Still Fat |
[20 Nov 2007|05:30pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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cold |
] |
Day Two of Five
Had another shopping spree today lol
I bought this jacker that was slightly too big too make me look smaller lol and a waistcoat thingy abit too small for thinspiration!
Had abit of a okay day, my back at the top of my shoulders is killing me though, and I can't be arsed to do any exercise, mainly because I'm a lazy cow!
I worked out that it will take me 11 weeks to get to my goal weight! not sure how I worked that out again, but I was going by that if I loose 5 pounds on the weekdays through fasting (minimum) and then put on say 3 pounds on the weekend (max) then I'll be loosing 2 pounds a week (minimum, I hope) I NEED to loose 20 pounds to reach my GW so 11 weeks just too be safe...sounds ages though, even though its only just over 2 months, I want it now though, yesturday at the latest lol
I was thinking today about if I get sick from all of this (probably will huh? well probably am) how I'd feel about dying for this, dying to be perfect...an in a way I would, but its just I know it would hurt people (not a lot believe me) and one of my majors problems is that I don't like letting people down, do you ever remember when your parents would say "we're very disappointed" I hated that so much, when I was in school this girl lied about me bulling her (I did definetly NOT) and my mum said she was disappointed in me, and I remember that hurt, more than being punished, it was so unfair, that girl picked on me for about 5 years and I got punished for it, Bitch.
and another thing which is stupid is that when I say on here that I'm fasting, I always feel like I have to honour that promise to you guys, I don't even know you! lol and when I get weak I think, oh they would hate me for that, an if I fail I think I've let you guys down.
I have no trouble letting myself down though, do it all the damn time.
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[20 Nov 2007|05:30pm] |
hey girlies!!
how was everyones day??
good i hope?
so, i was rethinking the way ive been excercising lately.
i feel like its just not working anymore.
what do you guys do daily, because what im doing just isnt working.
i do about 100 crunches, lunges, starjumps, and a couple other things.
i do 1 set of all this for every 100 cal i take in. so if i take in 600, ill be doing 600 situps, etcetc.
what are you all doing becuase i cant make it to a gym during the week :[[
i have school and stuff.
ehh, hopefully my goal will come soon.
love you all <3
think thin.
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| Sry |
[20 Nov 2007|05:31pm] |
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Okay so I just want to say sry about a former post. I said some rude things about how I don't think some of you girls should be coming here if your like 150 and some other stuff close to that. But I just meant there are lots of wannarexics on here who talk about how they binge every day and then complain about how they don't know how they haven't lost any weight. I mean if your for real and just need support then I don't really care about your weight it's just the people who are like wishing they had an ed that are sort of annoying. sry.
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[20 Nov 2007|05:41pm] |
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second day of the sacred heart diet! Im so happy yesterday was sucessful. hopefully today will turn out just as well .. so far so good! I havent weighed myself yet. I want to save it for when im POSITIVE I've lost weight. I went tanning today and wouldnt even look at myself in the mirror .. im afraid that if i was unhappy with i saw i'd be discouraged, or if i was looking thin i'd get too confident. I make up excuses for myself to eat sometimes. Honestly its wierd, i cant fool my brain. I'll really contimplate it and think, "yeah whatever just eat it" .. but the guilt i suffer from when i finish eating is UNREAL. Some nights I honestly just go to sleep right after I eat a little meal, feeling like such a failure.
I also did a lot of walking today, and got some whistles on the way home. Made me feel good and thin!
love you girls. stick to your goals!
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[20 Nov 2007|05:53pm] |
ewwww. .....i was supposed to fast today!!! whatever gonna do tomorrow....
today
breakfast-jello 10 cla
lunch-nothing
dinner-soup thin 143 cal 50 cal of apple juice and then another 50.....and then a yogurt thing....100 cal ...2 onion rings-60 cal???
3 french fries´-also 50??? and then 2 chocolate things-82 cal
so all in all
545 cal for today..not bad but still
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| I did goo today! But I think I might cheat! :( |
[20 Nov 2007|05:59pm] |
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I've been on a liquid fast, and this is only the second day and I feel myself wanting a reason to look in the fridge! AUGH I did very good so far today, but I'm frighten shitless that I'll screw it all up!
So far today: Two cups of tea (I never thought I liked tea untill today),
Water,
and a Juice Box.
Its five thirty now, and I'm hoping thats all I'll have other then water for the rest of the night. I'm exstending my fast untill Friday because I need ideas of what to eat before I'm off it.
Theres one problem though, I have a doctors appointment..well, tharapist appointment this Friday and Julie's taking me, and she always makes me eat when I'm with her... any tips on what I can do or say to make her excuse me from eating?
xx's Oh, any one interested in joining me in my fast? I need something to help keep me modavated :)
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[20 Nov 2007|06:01pm] |
hey hope everyones had a good day..
i feel kinda full for barely eating, stomach looks a little extended....kinda getting annoyed and afraid to weigh myself.
tell me aobut your day
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[20 Nov 2007|06:21pm] |
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Hey Girls!
Im back! Havent posted since 4 weeks ago i think...
Well theese couple of week i´ve been pretty mad,sad and qiuet, its like i have no lust for life any more, and a guy called me fat last wednesday ( I will show him), i have had a panic attack when i was watching TV the suddenly alot of food came up in Tv, and it was ONLY FAT FOOD. I have never had a panic attack before, i could´nt even breath i was so afraid. Any one who had experience tha same thing?
Well ive BP last saturday and monday :( But im on a fast right now and im only allowed to eat soup,redbull (not too much),water and green tea :) In like 5 days. :D
Im so motivated right now atm >:)
Well hope U girls doing better than me :)
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[20 Nov 2007|06:33pm] |
today was a good day so far.
i did weigh my self and i thought i would weigh less but i weigh the same and hate it.
i hate it when i weigh the same.
when you drink alot of water which ive been doing....do you weigh more or/and the same???
is that why i weigh the same and not less cause of the water??
and another thing is....is diet soda good for you....does that make you full...what good things come from it and bad things....cause im drinking alot of diet seirra mist at my work???????
<33
love you all<33
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[20 Nov 2007|06:41pm] |
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HeyyGirlies,,
I have massive love handles!
Does anyone know how to get rid of them??.
I have ate Soo much todaii!
Im really annoyed and angery with myself!
I really need to loose alot of wieght and fast..
LoveYoo Karmen
-ox
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[20 Nov 2007|06:54pm] |
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blah |
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today was really good until i came home.
my brother is catching on to what im doing
again. i just wish he would leave me alone.
he brought home a pizza so i hade t have 2
pieces. then my mom made me eat a hamberger
and fries. tried to binge and puge it all up
but couldnt. my throat hurt, i promised that
i wouldnt purge again. but its hard not 2.
also it snowed today!! :]
im so happy. i love it when it snows.
it was the first snow fall of the year.
think THIN
be strong.
fasting tomarrow and half of the day on thanksgiving.
i hate thanksgiving :[
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[20 Nov 2007|07:31pm] |
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i hate myself right now. my dad brought home taco bell and i ate it i feel like a fucking fat ass! im supposed to be fasting! grrr. no food tommorrow!
i went for a run but i have to do my homework.. still.. loll..... so i only burned like 170 calories...
ughhh i was doing so good i am so mad at myself..
i always do this when i fast! what do you guys do to resist food? i mean i stayed out of the kitchen until like 4 wich was good but ughh i am sooo mad!!!!!
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[20 Nov 2007|07:50pm] |
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what's the name of that song/rap that starts with
"she wasn't bourn anorexic, but know days she suffers..."
if you know whitch I mean ? ;p
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| im back! |
[20 Nov 2007|08:14pm] |
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hey sorry ive been gone for so long my computer died and i had to get a new one
for those who remember my name used to be baby_watched
update
*fell in love
*went down to 96lbs
*went back up to 100lbs and mad at self
*NEED TO STARVE!
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[20 Nov 2007|08:22pm] |
How many calories do you think like 600 crunches burns? lol
I did that the other night
I'm probably going to do it again tonight.
My brother took the PS2 with him to Arizona for the weekend so I can't play DDR :( That's soooo depressing :( I usually play and burn like 500 cals a day on that thing.
Ahhhhhhh
Man I feel so large :(
I've been REALLY good today.. considering the circumstances...
I made cookies and all kinds of stuff today and I didn't eat ANY of it. I only had celery with low cal dip, a 100cal yogurt, and at school I had some stuff that totalled like 540 cals.. so I've probably had like 700 cals today I would guess. That's not HORRIBLE.. but I can do better. I think tomorrow will be a fast day. It shouldn't be too hard either, if I just stick to my plan. I'm going to be at school practically all day.. from 9-9.. so I'll just go in the library and stuff cause we can't have food in there and I'll be okay during my breaks.
I wish I could just wake up tomorrow and be a stick :(
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[20 Nov 2007|08:28pm] |
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my grandma might have cancer.............i cant eat..............i prayed the other night that id finally lose weight like crazy......i know i wanted to lose weight....and that i have an obsession.......but not even my anorexia is stronger than my love to my grandma...
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| special k |
[20 Nov 2007|08:33pm] |
so i bought special k protein single packages of the strawberry flavor to put in my water...
and its actually pretty good and fills me up! i recommend getting some. i think the other flavors are ice tea and lemon?
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| ok 2 questions |
[20 Nov 2007|08:34pm] |
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1 what is this sacred heart diet ive heard so much about?
,2 the little belly of fat no matter how much i try wont go away, any ideas?
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[20 Nov 2007|08:40pm] |
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TEMPTED!
Augh, I've been doing so good on my fasting, but now I'm so tempted to eat!
I wont...I hope. I'm going to make myself go to bed I think...
But I'm fasting untill Friday, if I'm tempted now, will it be worse on Friday?? Will I even be able to till then? :\
What are some appitite depresents?
Not like pill wise, but anything that gets your mind off eating for a good long time or even makes you less hungry? xx's;
Good luck girls!
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| Hey |
[20 Nov 2007|08:55pm] |
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Well, it's been a while.
I've fasted for about a good 2 weeks (I started on November 5th so 15 days) and pretty good, less than 300 cals a day. I got down to 121 pounds. That was 3 days ago though.
My mom took me to her work party and this guy came up to me and said "Wow. You could be a model. How old are you?" When I answered 13, his mouth dropped and he said, "Sweetie, if only you were 18."
I've been thinking about this and what comes to my mind is why do I want to be older? why do I feel as if I am already 18?
I have made a firm decision, after battling anorexia nervosa for almost a year, I am going to try to seriousy recover this time and maybe, just maybe, this will all come back to me in the long-run so I can be the model I want to.
I went running for 3 miles today and when I came home and looked in the mirror, i thought "who am I kidding? I'm 13! I should be eating cookies and ice cream!" And that's what I did, I ate pizza and a bowl of ice cream. Yeah, call me a fatass but I made a firm promise to myself and here it is.
Once I am 15, I wil have a model's body. Do not get me wrong, I will always for some reason want to be thin. I do right now, but the fight isn't worth it since it's like fighting time. Fighting my age. Fighting everything I used to be. I know I'll probably get some negative comments but I think I need to do this for myself.
Just to clarify, I will still come on this site. Maybe once twice a month, or possibly everyday just to check on you ladies. Just 'cause I'm trying to get help, doesn't mean I am going to abandon all the generous people I've met on here.
I wish you all the best of luck. I hope you all understand my views. Love you all so much! Stay strong<3
-taylor
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[20 Nov 2007|09:22pm] |
heyy guyys i havennt been on in a whille. i havent been fasting in a while and im up 2 140lbs my heighest weight. im going on a 15 day fast because im sad and fat and i really need some emotional support to get me through this fastt. this is really something i neeedd and wannt so baddly im starting right now but the first day starts officially tomorrow. this is going to be a liquid fastt. pleassee comment to help mee. i desperately needd it
thankks
xoxo
emm
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| Well... |
[20 Nov 2007|09:49pm] |
Hey Girls (and guys?)
How's it going?...It's been a while....I'm doing seriously amazing. My fasting is going great. Last week I wanted to fast from monday to friday but I got really sick on wednesday so that sucked...but I held out till friday. Then I ate sushi :p
Anyways...It's tuesday and this week's fast is going great!! :D
I'm a lot stronger and dont need a bunch of thinspo's to keep me going.
I wish u guys all the best and I hope you guys will feel the way i feel. Satisfied.
XoXO
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| & we have a new one. |
[20 Nov 2007|09:57pm] |
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Hey girls [and..guys?]!! I'm new. I thought I'd introduce myself. The name's Meg...or evergreenn. Or whatever you want to call me!
First, I think I'd like to start by saying how much I look forward to being a part of this community with so many inspiring girls!
Seccoonnd. My stats.
This is how I've seen it be done. Lol.
Age:: 14
Height:: 5'0
HW:: 130lbs. [ahh!]
LW:: 99lbs. [I thinnk. I went a VERY long time without a scale.]
CW:: 123lbs. [Maybe lighter as of tomorrow mornin']
GW1:: 115lbs.
GW2:: 103lbs.
GW3:: 91lbs.
I've had an ED for a couple years. Wasn't very serious until recently. Well, it didn't seem like a "thing". Now, it's my life.
I'm looking for some support. It gets hard for me, as it does for you girls too. I cry more than I used to. I'm slipping, again, into depression. I do have IM, if you're interested. Thankss. <3
--Megg;;evergreenn
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[20 Nov 2007|10:03pm] |
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depressed and colddddd man |
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ahg! so unrelated to eating disorders, but i feel, so damn lonely :[. this is probably this first time in....... possibly ever, where there isn't a guy i like OR a guy who i am interested in, and it sucks, a lot :[. going to school is agonizing because there are no cute or nice guys to look forward to seeing... i mean i do have friends but no eye catching ones, and the majority of the guys are asssssss holesssssssssss. to top it off the approachable ones either A) Have a girlfriend already or are B) gay. :.[
yea.
so news with my stats go like this
height: 5'6
current weight: 107
low weight: 100
high weight: 115
goal weight for right now: 102
boo i wish some warm guy could hold me in a blanket right now i'm fuhreeeezing. :.[
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[20 Nov 2007|10:19pm] |
today was my first day of regular fasting, water, tea, and gum, and some broth if needed. Now at 10:20pm I've only had 1/4 cup of broth and 1 piece of gum. Planning on the same for tomorrow.
I like this, I feel lighter, and overall, better.
I'll check my weight in the morning, I finally got a lax tea so I hope that starts to work, I'll have a cup in the morning. Dosnt taste so great, but I'll have a diet pop on standby or something.
Guess what, my dad bought 5 pies for Thanksgiving!! Can you beleive that! I can't wait to binge purge....darn lol, hope I make it tomorrow, but Its not like I'd eat any of the pie before Thanksgiving lol. That would be horrible.
I hope I look thinner by the time I see my sister...I really do.
I'm going to aim to fast all Thanksgiving day and then have soup at dinner, say I dont feel well and whatever. Maybe, if I'm strong, I wont binge purge, but I'm not that strong I dont think. Maybe I'll just aim to only eat a little of everything instead of a lot of it. That way I'm not in the bathroom for hours.
One tip girls! If you do decide to binge! Take a sip of water after every few bites, because it'll be WAY harder and painful if you go dry, even if you think its moist, it'll be tons easier if you sip some water while you eat.
I know, the last time I BP'd I was in there for almost an hour for 1 small bowl of cereal and some pasta, just because I didnt have fluids.
I hear soda pop makes it even easier, but I'd recomend one like Sprite or Mist, because Pepsi and Coke taste horrible coming back up...
Best of luck!
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[20 Nov 2007|10:22pm] |
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When I look in the mirror I dnt see me anymore but sume girl with all this fat rapped around her body!
I feel soo depressed latley and its for no big reason
Im really emotional and weak
I think I have lost a bit of wieght but havnt wieghed myself yet
I dnt wnt to incase I havent and then ill be really depressed
Grrr! My love handles just stick off my back and I cnt get rid of them>:{
Can anybody Help Me plz??
LoveYoo Karmen
-ox
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| hello beautiful girls |
[20 Nov 2007|10:31pm] |
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bouncy |
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music |
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Hope everyone is doing well. Haven't been on here as much as I'd like to lately. I've been doing pretty okay though. Finally broke the 129 plateau, and I'm now down to 123. Hopefully I will be about 120 on Thanksgiving, so I don't feel like such a fatass when my boyfriends family force feeds me. Yuck, what a fucking terrible holiday. The last thing America needs is a day to be more obese. My mom told me that on average, Americans consume over 5,000 calories during Thanksgiving dinner. How disgusting is that? At least I can use me vegetarianism as an excuse, once again, and take advantage of the fact I'm not picking off of the dead turkey carcass on the table. eww.
I did okay today, had tons of gum though. I almost caved in through the afternoon, but I pulled out okay. Went to see American Gangster. It was an interesting movie, but too long. I went with my friend who has a perfect body, so I wasn't tempted to eat around her, just had a monster low carb, and more gum than you can imagine. Then I went to the gym before class, and only had time to burn 400 calories. Its so annoying, all these cute fake blondes have started going to the gym now, the really skinny kind, with the gorgeous boyfriends...always another reason to feel worse about myself. I'm going to dye my hair platinum. Anyway, after the gym I went to class, and ended up having dinner (a taco salad 400 cals.) around 8, so I've managed to fuck around till now, and not eat anything else.
I've missed you all! What have you been up to???
Any tips on getting this grime off my teeth from all the binge purge lately?
It's really annoying me.
Also, any helpful things for Thanksgiving eating would be nice too.
I don't want to have to take 5 laxatives again.
<33
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[20 Nov 2007|10:41pm] |
aim: lovinyouall247
(bored so if you want to talk message me)
:)
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[20 Nov 2007|11:15pm] |
i screwed up again!!!!
i try to listen to my mom, to my dad, to my sisters, and to you girls especially and what happens....i dont and end up FAT!
i was doing so well through out the whole day then when night time comes i screw up...uhgggggggggggggg
im so pissed right now.
i dont knw what to do anymore...everytime i seem like im doing well and i finally listened for once, i screw it up.
how do you girls have so much control throughout the day tilll falling asleep...i used to have so much control in the past and now i cant seem to get it back.
ahhhhh
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| Thanksgiving |
[20 Nov 2007|11:34pm] |
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So how are you guys avoiding the nationally celebrated day of OBESITY?
I am in therapy so my family knows about my ED so I have to eat. What foods are better than others, have less calories, what to avoid, anything! I'm really nervous because my sister is always on my case, making fun of me, and shoving food at me--the last thing I want is for her to make my ED that obvious to my extended family.
Happy Early Thanksgiving! (I won't have access to a computer for a while)
Oh and a little bit of a confidence booster...what are you thankful for? Think hard-there has to be one thing you aren't ashamed of (hopefully)
I'm thankful for my collarbones.
What about you! ? =) Anything body/ED related or not.
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[20 Nov 2007|11:43pm] |
I feel so depressed.
I dont knows whats come over me. Im usually depressed, but not like this. I could just end everything, but i'm not going to.I know ill hopefully feel different tomorrow. Im not even worrying about food for once. I feel so bad right now, i think if i ate something i'll probably throw up (un-intentionally) Hows everyones day been then?
:/
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[20 Nov 2007|11:54pm] |
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hey
i haven''t been here every day like i used to...
but damn..! there is alot of new ones!
hi to everybody!!!!
xD
ok so i've been stuck in the same weight for 3 days now.. i need to lose more weight!!
like i'm goin on a trip with my class. in december, so i need to be thinner and more perfect...
i lost 6 pounds last week... i need to lose another 6 at least this week....
if i can lose more it would be great.... but is gettin harder...
beside my father bought a cake and i ate 2 slice of it... such a failure!!!!
won't eat that tomorrow!!!
is harder for me to skip meals now... since the german girl got here.. my parents force me to eat even more.. she eats like a fucking pig.... but she is not that fat!!!! BUT SHE IS GETTIN FATTER,,,,,,!!!! she already asked me for help, bc she told me that she is gettin fatter,,,.. i don't wanna be with a fat girl so i won't let her put on more weight lol
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| i give up. |
[20 Nov 2007|11:58pm] |
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i cannot do this anymore. i cant handle the on going fight to stay thin.
i cannot lie to my mom anymore. i cant lie to my friends.
this site has been the only thing that has kept me going.
but i cant handle it anymore. im sorry for letting some of you down.
i will still be here for you. to support you. so if you didnt mind
i would still like to come on here and support the friends ive made.
just because i cant handle this doesnt mean you cant.
i hope you guys understand but i just IDK.
i might be back. as an anorexic [again] and not as a friend here just to
support. i really hope you guys understand and dont mind. its just
im at a point in my life when i should be focusing on school friends
and not constantly worrying about my weight. im going to try and
eat healthy but i just am not ready to take all of this on. im really
scared right now. because i hope you guys dont think badly of me
because i have made the choice i have decided to make. mainly this
is becus of taylor_yepp's post, she right girls our age shouldnt
have to worry about this. and i wish you all luck. and im not saying
what im doing is right or wrong i just feel like its a good choice for me
right now.
i love you guys. and i wish you the best. and i hope you can wish me the best too.
im going on and on but i feel like i am letting people down and i will still be here for you
just not in the same way.
im sorry i hope you understand.
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anorexicqueen