| I've come back. |
[02 Oct 2007|12:03am] |
Hey, guys, it’s me - Bridget - and I’m back.
A couple of months ago, I think, I left declaring that I was going to recover. I never realized that anorexia could fuck up my metabolism so much that I would balloon so quickly. I’ve never had breasts before. I mean, as a woman I had breasts it’s just that there was so little fat there. Now I have these disgusting, fatty lumps on my chest with little stretch marks on the side. My tummy got bigger, as well, and if you look at them closely enough you can see that my thighs are just a little bigger, too. Everyone says that I look healthy, now, but I feel disgusting. I am disgusting for giving up on starvation, thinking that if I ate more I would be happy. Boy was I stupid. I mean incredibly stupid. I’ve been sick for years, how could I think that I could change? I’m just not strong enough to change. Anorexia remains the driving force in my life even now that I’ve reached a healthy BMI. I don’t think that I’ll ever be happy, but at least now I can be thin and unhappy as opposed to being ‘healthy’ and unhappy. I don’t know… Somehow I think that balances things out.
I missed you guys and your encouraging words. I miss hearing that some people out there are as miserable as I am and for the same reasons. I miss the thinspiration.
So, you see, coming back was the only option for me. So here I am.
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[02 Oct 2007|12:22am] |
does anyone on here take sleeping pills at night to not have to think about the hunger and sleep better?
Im considering it..
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[02 Oct 2007|12:59am] |
Here's the deal, kiddies...
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[02 Oct 2007|01:02am] |
Hey everyone!
do any of you still remember me? Its been such a long time since I last posted. I took time of from posting here but I was very wrong because I suddenly gained 10 pounds in a month's time! I hope the support level changed now. The last time I was here, everyone only cared about themselves and they wouldnt support us anorexics. Anyway, its great to be back. I need to lose these ten pounds.
Stay strong!
♥ Jessica ♥
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| Insomnia = satan |
[02 Oct 2007|02:07am] |
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I'm f'n wide awake again and what am I doing?? Not my damn h/w that's for sure. At least once a week, I swear this sucks & I have class in the morning so I can't take my sleeping pills.
I hope everyone else is sleeping wonderfully!
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| THINPSO |
[02 Oct 2007|02:25am] |
i made a site thing and put alot of thinspo on it hope it helps
tell me if it does!!
love you
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Holly
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[02 Oct 2007|04:52am] |
as of right now...im at 105 and i need to get to 90...i turned down dinner with my boyfriend for a vitamin and another cup of coffee...i just woke up from a 4 hr nap...i know that i asked last night late if anyone wanted to chat....i really need to talk abt this to someone...my fast is going pretty well so far...just coffee and vitamins...!!!! yay!!! Please tho if anyone can talk....i added the other girls that wanted to...
<3
think thin ladies
we can do it!!
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[02 Oct 2007|06:25am] |
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weird question...does birth control make u get your period anyways even tho ur ana or fasting?
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[02 Oct 2007|07:31am] |
well the new month new start thing didn't work out so well for me... I ended up gettig a little drunk last night off a bottle of wine and biiiiinged... It was horrible.... I did soooo good up untill then. well.. im still currently weighing in at 111 lbs..... im going to try 2nd day of new month... yet another good start ;).
Goodluck girlies and stay motivated & focused on achieving that oh so perfect body = pure perfection.
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[02 Oct 2007|07:36am] |
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Good morning ladies...down a pound from yesterday (114) but still not any where near my goal. I have figured out a way to gain even more control...I am allowed a sip of water every hour...not whenever i want. coffee at 10. Black. hot green tea at 1 and 4 and 6:30 (with my medicine in it). Thats my schedule for my liquid fast. If anyone wants to try it feel free and lemme know your results!
I have noticed something about myself. I have a structured plan/schedule i set everyday. If something changes without me knowing or expecting, i get angry. i dont know why. For example if my husband gets home early from work, i go NUTS.If i sleep through the alarm in the morning and am running late my whole day is f*cked... I know its impossible to control every day factors like that so y do i get worked up about it? Its so frustrating. Do any of you get angry like that or am I just plain f*d? I guess thats y i focus on my weight so much...cause its the one thing only I have a say in...
Wow i made myself sound like some control-freak bitch...o well thats me i guess. Heres some daily thinspo:
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[02 Oct 2007|07:38am] |
So today im starting my longest fast yet of 8 days, ive set a date to reach my goal weight and im going to be so pissed if i dont reach it i have 8 days to loose 6 pounds, i should be able to do but it'll be tough!
Im going to allow myself 1 cup of soup a day though becasue i work out and climb a lot and need some kind of energy but its only 60 cals a cup so im not that fussed.
Anyways im off got to walk to college which take about 40 mins! And back and working out tonight so i think by tomorrow i should be down at least a pound....
xxxx
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[02 Oct 2007|08:15am] |
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k case and point....my husband just caslle dand said he is getting off work early and going home and i started crying! What is the matter with me! Its cause i know what hes going home ot do.,...just like yesterdya...and tomorrow when hes off but still...THIS HAS TO STOP! Im already fasting so now i feel like i need to do MORE to compensate for it...but what?
sorry for the rant...i cant do this crap at work!
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| SUPERCHICK - STAND IN THE RAIN <3 |
[02 Oct 2007|08:23am] |
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She never slows down
She doesn't know why but she knows that when she's all alone, feels like its all coming down
She won't turn around
The shadows are long and she fears if she cries that first tear, the tears will not stop raining down
So stand in the rain
Stand your ground
Stand up when it's all crashing down
You stand through the pain
You won't drown
And one day, whats lost can be found
You stand in the rain
She won't make a sound
Alone in this fight with herself and the fears whispering if she stands she'll fall down
She wants to be found
The only way out is through everything she's running from wants to give up and lie down
So stand in the rain
Stand your ground
Stand up when it's all crashing down
You stand through the pain
You won't drown
And one day, whats lost can be found
You stand in the rain
So stand in the rain
Stand your ground
Stand up when it's all crashing down
Stand through the pain
You won't drown
And one day, whats lost can be found
So stand in the rain
Stand your ground
Stand up when it's all crashing down
You stand through the pain
You won't drown
And one day, whats lost can be found
You stand in the rain
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[02 Oct 2007|08:37am] |
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okay darlings <3
so its early now and so far ive had soy milk (30cals) =P
now i just gotta get through the rest of this day...
dinner, im going to my friends tonight and...everyone will be there so =/ im scared ill be forced to eat! i hope not though, ill just try as much as possible to avoid it...and anyway im sure everyone will be focused on other stuff so they wont even notice me not eating...right?
i jumped on my sisters back last night and she was like omg youre soooo light! ah...i love it =)
anyway...hope youre all doing well...?
let me know =)
i will be thin...i can totally do this!
you control your hunger not the other way around =)
love you all,
*hugs*
x
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| Today |
[02 Oct 2007|08:39am] |
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Wel Today Ate
Careal
Cheese
And An Apple
And I Dint Go To School Because I Felt So Weak
This Morning I Just Told My Mum I Felt Sik
I Feell Quiet Proud Of What I Have Eaten Today :)
x x x <3
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[02 Oct 2007|08:49am] |
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hey guys!!!! havent bn on in a while = [ Moms makn me go get help(BAH!!!!!) Grr i h8 parents........... Ill post stats and be off. cuz im @ skool/
HW:132
CW:99
LW:99
GW1:90
GW2:80
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| newbie....Help please =0 |
[02 Oct 2007|08:57am] |
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music |
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promise ring-tiffany evans |
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Hello girls! Im Mi'chele (meechelle). I was anorexic about a year ago, and would like to get back on it. Gained 40 pounds since.
Height: 5 7"
CW: 157
HW: 164
LW: 110
1GW: 130
2GW: 110
so i really need some advice...and i have so many questions.
Why all the water....?! never did it that way.
Why coffee??
i was on the smokes and crystal light diet.
Recommend laxatives...?! Which kind.
Any one in the US want to text...??
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| neww |
[02 Oct 2007|09:29am] |
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hiiii.
i just wanted to say hi to everyone im new heree.
xx
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| ha! |
[02 Oct 2007|09:52am] |
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3 days iv bin in bed for!! i aint left my house at all i jst cant handle goin outside i feel fat!! ugly!! i have spots from purgin it cnt get any worse!
all im doing is arguein wit my mum n family ova skewl n shit!
i havent ate nothin 2day since lst nite! maybe if i end up passin out some1 would care! buy hey doubt it! il control it!
i hate my ex its bin ova a few mnths since we broke up but i wish i could kik the crap outa him!!! hes messd me up so mch n tht proparly y im like this...he treated me like shit for 2 years!!
anyways sorry bout tht had 2 get it outa my system =] X
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| ? |
[02 Oct 2007|10:01am] |
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should i worry if:
everything starts tinglin..feel reli hot but hands n feet are freezin numb!
n shortness ov breath or am i jst bein paranoid?
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| please..someone just tell me |
[02 Oct 2007|10:06am] |
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forgive me |
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tell me what to do. call me fat. make me starve.
i woke up thiniking...how did i let myself get like this...?! HOW
advice...!!!! please! fast with me or tell me a diet plan you did.
Desprete
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[02 Oct 2007|10:51am] |
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morning every1 hows things going? im down to 84lbs! Was in hospital last week with dehydration but im back now! Made a community yesterday for people who suffer from both EDs and Self Injury, If anyone wants to join the link is http://community.livejournal.com/cutmethin xx
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[02 Oct 2007|10:56am] |
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this is what i have been eating the last week
-special k bar
-a few slices of bread
-a small piece of white meat
WAY way way too much.
i was 121 3 weeks ago and i managed to go down to 112. so thats pretty impressive,
but i simply dont see it,
i want to rip out all the stupid fat i see.
i wish i could just cut my love handles off.
if anyones up for any cheering up?
ps.
i have a friend that used to take some pills it was like day/night pills that made her loose weight..
do any of you know what they are?
xxxx lots and lots of love,
elle.
<3
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[02 Oct 2007|11:08am] |
my fast is still going...no food today just coffee...i hope i dont get any cravings...im sooooo close to 90s!!!!!!
<3
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| haii everyone |
[02 Oct 2007|11:28am] |
i went so down hill lately :( stupid food.. i hate food!! every piece of food i put in my mouth i think about how many people there are that are doing so well on their fasts and i feel jelous because i havnt been strong lately... i was doing so well before but everyone realised that i hadn't eaten so they watched over me and my boy is trying to make me swear on his life and promise that i wont come on here again... he doesnt understand... how do i make him understand?
my brother watched hollioaks n he aimed his nasty comments at me... is it just me or will noone get off of everyone elses case too?
i hope that you're all still going strong xxx |
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| hello to all |
[02 Oct 2007|12:19pm] |
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Cracker.........Low |
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I didn't introduce myself yesterday in my first post to this community so I will now...My name is Julie and my friends call me Julie Bee or just Bee...
CW 180
HW 230
LW 140
GW 130
5'7"
23 years old
Anorexic/Bulimic for the past 8 years
I get really tired of it sometimes and had periods of recovery (not many) but we all know its hard to let go of. I have been doing the 28dayplan for the past 2 months and I really enjoy it. I also usually check out realthin everyday for thinspo and I recommend both communities.....anyway that's about it for an introduction.
So far today I'm doing well. I had an apple in the morning and I'm aiming for no more than 600 calories today. I take hoodia every day and it really helps stop cravings for food. It doesn't work miracles, but I really notice that even when I get hungry its like, nothing sounds good to eat, and I don't get quite as hungry. Thats just me, different stuff works for different people. Hope you all are doing good!
Love, Bee
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[02 Oct 2007|12:47pm] |
started a fast today going well so far just had a glass of juice =] i told my mum im "sick" so shes not expecting me to eat for the day just HALF a slice of toast to keep my "STRENGTH" up.. but fair anough i will need it for all the excerising im planning on doing in a few minits =] realy pleased of myself today, yesturday didnt go to well though but making up for that today =]
anyone want to talk and give each other advice/help each other out? let me know =]
hope everyones doing well =]
think thin <3
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[02 Oct 2007|01:30pm] |
My co -worker MADE me eat...sat there and snickered at me...made everyone LOOK at me...i HATE attention...all caus ei wouldnt eat her fuckinf coffee ring thing! she brought a sandwich platter....i HAD too...then she smiled and said...there now...wanst that good!?
Fat cow....I WONT BE LIKE YOU!
whats worse is that i had almost fasted a successful 24 hours or so...FUCK
its about 300 cal so ill burn it off at work but still...I LET MYSELF DOWN...and broke a pormise to myself all because i needed to shut my co-worker up...i dont liek working with all women really i dont...
for you ladies....
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| chat? |
[02 Oct 2007|01:43pm] |
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jfoxy_aa at yahoo messenger
Have a supertific day!
xoxoxox
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[02 Oct 2007|01:56pm] |
So I didn't eat anything yesterday, and I was gonna continue it today, but I decided against it and had about 3/4 of a nutri-grain bar. I feel like such a fatty! That's not a lot to eat, and I feel like a complete failure. Idk if I'm even gonna eat anything else today. I'm too scared of food now. I could barely eat that nutri-grain bar.
Ugh I feel like crap. I hate periods. lol I think that's why I feel so fucking HUGE right now.
THINK THIN!
<33
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| helpp? |
[02 Oct 2007|02:37pm] |
which has less cals n shit in it?..........coffee OR tea?
please someone let me know
will b so thnkful! =] x
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| Normal Again |
[02 Oct 2007|03:03pm] |
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All Apologies: Nirvana |
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Last night, around 12 am, I promised myself that I would try to be noraml again. to eat whatever I wanted today and be happy. I felt so sick of worrying about food and its ingredients.
I ate around 1,200 cals today.
But I'm still worrying and wondering "Oh how many cals?"
I hate it.
I've been this way for one and a half years and I've never felt like I wanted to stop.
I had my first purge since rehab last night. it felt sooooo fuckin good.
i've sadly been eating about 2,00 cals a day because of the fucked up mother.
I'd like to be normal again but I just can't.
I know I gained back all the weight that I lost.
I'm so stupid.
I tried so hard to be "normal" again today ands after I ate4 my 900 cal lunch I ran to the bathroom and broke down in tears.
If it was my decision, I'd never eat.
But my friends were making fun of me.
"Are you starving yourself?"
"You aren't eating again?"
"You aren't anorexic are you?"
"Taylor, you have to eat something."
God, just remembering them saying those words is making me tear up. I HATE IT! can't they just lay off!
i have accepted the following:
-I am suffering from anorexia(and sometimes bulimic tendencies)
-I am a cutter
-I have chronic depression
-I hate my life
-I wish I could run away
-I HATE so much.(not u girls <3)
I just, urgh, it drives me crazy.
Anybody else here want to talk about any of the shit above? or just anything in general? i need help badly.
aim:wildthingxoxo494
yahoo:redhead10_xoxo@yahoo.com
sorry for th long post, i needed to vent.
love u all <3 as dazed and confused as I am right now.
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| Advice |
[02 Oct 2007|03:08pm] |
Hey all,
Wondering if any of u ppl may be able to help me. I was doing so well until my stupid bf discovered what was going on he found stuff and went and got me some help now its a nightmare if hes around asking if i want some food telling my parents so i feel forced to eat I took laxatives to help again rid the weight gain but he found them again and just continues to follow what I do. I was a member of the local gym and my god did I burn so considerable calories but hey he didn't like me going without him so he could make sure that I was ok - i tried to explain how i felt but he just says that I don't need to lose weight well sorry I do I'm a 8/10 atm but would love to be a 6 maybe even a 0 but how the hell can I hide what I'm doing I haven't really any friends cos they just want to eat and the other sat was at a friends party and ate cos they all looked weird when I say i'm not hungary so eat but then I feel dirrty I can feel the weight piling on its no lie I can I said I had coeliac disease to try and limit my food groups but its no good cos they found some wheat diary and gluten free foods. I just want to be thin I want it sooo much I just feel that everyones watching me right now.
Plz help
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[02 Oct 2007|03:26pm] |
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ugghh! why am i such a f*cking failure...?
its like everytime im doing good...i always ALWAYS manage to find a way to f*ck it all up! =/
i know i would feel like absolute sh*t if mum found out about my ED coz i love her so much and i know it would kill her...so today i ate like a pig - just to show that i wasnt anorexic =/
and i was doing so well =(
probably gained back everything ive lost...
i dont even want to attempt to work out how many cals ive had =/
good news...she believed me =)
she was like i know that your smart and youd never do anything stupid...and here i am lying straight to her face!
...i hate this!
support please girls <3
love you all,
x
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| .......?! |
[02 Oct 2007|03:31pm] |
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Not only am i upset by those posts but....who the F$@& let her on here??
ugh.
anyways....i hope you all are doing well. im about to go work out..maybe...no energy right now. Damn :(
so im thinking of doing a fast till friday...join me??
hope all is well with everyone <33<3
oh and im looking for some advice on....stuff lol
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| heloo! |
[02 Oct 2007|03:49pm] |
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hiya girlies. im new here .. duno where to start!
ummm.. im 5'5 and im 7 stone 5lbs
my bmi is 17 now. it was 16 a few weeks ago, but ive had to act like i was OK around my parents and bf because they kept going on at me. so now they have shut up i can get bk down 2 16. this time im just gona have 2 lie alot more.
ive had my ED for such a long time. i live in baggy clothes and the thought of me eating more than 300 cals a day makes me wanna cry.
when i was trying to act OK infront of everyone i was the most depressed ive ever been.i hate not being in control.i think about my ED 24/7 and would really like 2 get 2 kno ppl who feel like me...
anywho! sorry if i went on a bit! hope ur all okay! x x x x x oo and my name is sarah lou! x x x
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| hola |
[02 Oct 2007|04:13pm] |
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hi hi hi hi....
i havnt been on in forever.
my mom found out about the sight.....
so i was off of it for a while and i had to eat a lil bit more
so she wouldnt think anything was wrong.
but im back and im more determined then ever to get down to my GW.
but ummm if u guyz want to chat im on myspace way mooorrree.
soooo
www.myspace.com/skylie018
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| hey |
[02 Oct 2007|04:35pm] |
hey girlies. so ive eaten all im going to today, and i tihnk ima go to the gym finally. jksljf.
Its a new month so im hoping to get to at least 110 by halloween. thats seven pounds. i know i can do it! =]
Also, im not trying to be rude or anything, but i was reading someones post earlier...it was posted by Anniebull or something, and this one girl in reply (i think her name is barbie_doll_115 or something like that) told her that she was a fattass and that she should cry becuase she looks so fat and horrible. well....
1) thats not nice, AT ALL. i know its kinda dumb and cliche, but if you have nothing nice to say then dont say it at all. Clearly our anorexia and other ed's are sensitve subjects to us (for the most part) and you making fun of them and telling them they're fat only makes things worse, so keep it to yourself.
2) i know im not the moderator or anything, but seriously the support level has gone down in this community, and again referring to that barbie_doll chick....if you had ana just like we do, you wouldnt be a bitch to the Anniebull girl by putting her down, but instead you would help her and give her the support she needs. Instead, you chose to make a complete asshole of yourself here. i for one think that was extremely rude.
Sorry for that rant, it just bugs me that someone that is supposedly going through what we are can make fun of someone else for going through the same thing. So, hopefully i got to your head...although i probly didnt.
Anyways, have a good day girls.
Stay lovely, and nothing tastes as good as thin feels... =]
!marcella.
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[02 Oct 2007|04:41pm] |
hey girls does anyone want to do a 3 or 4 day fast? just liquids
thinkthin!xoxox
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[02 Oct 2007|04:53pm] |
as of now i hate my life. i feel like crying but when i am alone no tears come. i have to eat lunch with this teacher at my school, so my parents know im eating, and i hid some of this HUGE sandwich in my pocket then asked to go to the bathroom. I went and threw it away and when i was coming out she barged in and asked if i threw it away, i lied and said i didn't. Im soo afraid im gaining weight, my parents dont understand that eating isnt going to help this, im too far into this whole and i cant get out. My parents dont undestand that i am happier when i dont eat because i dont worry about the cals.!!!!!!!
hopefully your lives are better than mine!!!!
im just feeling soo down, i had to vent to you, i feel like you are the only ones who understand me and what im going through.
thanks..
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[02 Oct 2007|05:03pm] |
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wow i j ust got on and read that bitches post....i dont get it thought she says that we do it for attention when she is obviously here to get our attention...anyways she is a waste of time and she is not worth listening to. ok well enuf about her i did really well today i only had a little salad and worked out soo hard. I had my dad send me pics from his wedding and ive lost 20 lbs. since then so it was pretty good inspiration! ok well gotta go luv you all!
xoxo
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[02 Oct 2007|05:23pm] |
hey, todays been good so far thank god, been in schoolall day and haven't eaten since last night when i had soup and fruit salad, today im just planning on having a subway sandwhich ::D half of it only 200 calories, then cary on with my situps, then vomit, so hopefuli ill be alright for tomorrow. but ye, tc girlies
think thin xXx
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[02 Oct 2007|05:34pm] |
So you know that boy i was SO angry at yesterday? Well.. he asked me to my year 11 prom ;) i thought he'd take my friend, but said he only likes her as a friend. I recon she likes him more tho. But screw it. We've got a history and she knew that when she started talking/THROWING HERSELF AT HIM.
Anyways, the dress i'll be wearing:
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[02 Oct 2007|05:43pm] |
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ALL ANOREXICS SHOULD DIE! THERE JUST ATTENTION SEEKING BITCHES!
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[02 Oct 2007|05:51pm] |
So today ive had 1 cuppa soup (54 cals) and a tiny piece of chicken (30 cals), i may eat some baby carrots (20 cals) if i feel too weak to walk later.
Ive done 12000 steps so far and ive got about 6000 to walk in a minite to my friends house, so a total of 18,000 aint bad.
18,000 steps vs. 84 cals.... I think i burnt it off!!! haha.
Tomorrow im just going to have one cuppa soup, and ive got a weigh in tomorrow morning which i hope goes well i want to reach my 2nd goal weight by the 10th of october and ive got 6 pounds to go!
8 days, 6 pounds, 54 cals a day, 15000 steps and 30-45 mins of cardio a day i think ishould be able to do it!
eeek im nervous about tomorrows weigh in!
xxx
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| heya |
[02 Oct 2007|05:51pm] |
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None |
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soo 2dyas gne okies i supose ate a bit more dan i fort i would bt hey 2nd day and all soo itz okies
well i didnt go 2 skwl 2day bit ill and stuff bt i find i dnt gt soo hungry wen im at home dnt no y
umm soo i had a bannah 4 breki bout 70 calories i tink
den bout 4 ish i had a yogart 80 calories
den jst a min ago at 2 vegi sausages only 49 calories each
but i did have bread wid da sausages so dat ads another 100 calories on :(
soo dat waz me down point of da day
soo all tgeter had liek 400 calories well jsut under but ya no :( soo bit upset
bt hey ya no
btw does any1 no any gd sites to downlode like fitness videos frm
howz every1 else goign
xxx
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[02 Oct 2007|05:52pm] |
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ANOREXICS ARE DUMBBB ATTENTION SEEKERS....WHO MAKE UP A DIESEASE FOR ATTENTION!!!!!!!!!!!1
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[02 Oct 2007|05:52pm] |
so less that 100 cals today....3 cups of green tea.
situps,pushups,leg lifts this morning....doing pretty good! :)
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| DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO?!?! |
[02 Oct 2007|06:02pm] |
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my god. the last three days has just SUCKED!
i can't stop eating, i binge every day! it's disgusting. it's making me crying.
I WANNA BE SKINNY!
today i ate two small biscuits with fibres in school. i was glad and thought i did well. but when i came home, i found a whole bar of chocolate. i ate the half of it! afterwards i felt terrible and started cutting myself :'( i don't got the strengh to exercise right know.. i can't do anything. big isn't beautiful! and i wont be pretty before i get skinny.
well. i hope you all have had a better day than me.
take care babies. <333 yours
mascha sophia.
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[02 Oct 2007|06:09pm] |
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ANOREXICS CANT HAVE KIDS CAUSE THEY RUINED THEIR REPRODUCTIVE SYSTEMS....HAHA GOOD NO MORE UGLY BITCHES WILL BE RUNNING AROUND...SOON THE WORLD WILL BE PRETTY AFTER ALL OF YOU DIE.
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[02 Oct 2007|06:11pm] |
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mood |
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neone wana talk? i feel rubbish! x
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[02 Oct 2007|06:13pm] |
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ANOREXICS HAVE NO CUSHION FOR THE PUSHIN!
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[02 Oct 2007|06:14pm] |
hey girls! who wants to fast with me tomorrow and thursday???
the more the better =)
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[02 Oct 2007|06:20pm] |
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girls what to do??? i cant seem to get away from this treatment, i feel there is no way around it. I JUST WANT TO BE THIN!!!!!!
<3
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[02 Oct 2007|06:31pm] |
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ok first we deal with all these stupid wannorexias. Now we are dealing wit anorexia haters. wtf?! who is that stupid girl anyway. anorexia is a disease...not just something we do to get attention. if we wanted attention then we wouldnt try to hide it, would we? NO! why dont you educate ur little brain before you start harassing us about something you dont even know about....go away! please!
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[02 Oct 2007|06:31pm] |
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music |
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tila t |
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is crystal light okay to drink????
very curious???
think thin. xox
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| mono and tears. |
[02 Oct 2007|06:34pm] |
hey girls.
well I have had the worst few weeks of my life. I have mono so I'm overwhelmingly tired all teh time. I can't work out...all I do is cry and try to do my homeowkr. I'm now failing a class and I just can't handle anything.
This morning I almost broke down in the middle of class just because I'm so stressed. I can't be fat. I just can't gain weight it will ruin everything, but when I look at myself all I see is fat.
I won't eat tommorrow at all. it's not worth it at all.
do any of you ever feel like you're always on the verge of tears and nothing will help, because that's how I am. How do you suggest I feel better?
love you all.
THINK THIN.
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[02 Oct 2007|06:36pm] |
It's only 6:37 PM for me and I've had 190 calories. :( Not as happy as I was yesterday, but I suppose it's not too horrible. Anyway, I wanted to put my myspace on here in case anyone wants to friend it! I'm getting better about using livejournal, but I'm still on myspace more!
myspace.com/roxyi3ella
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| monkey booooiiiiii |
[02 Oct 2007|06:38pm] |
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to those of you new people or "newer" people on this communit y.......
barbie_doll_ person is a immature monkey ass boy who has no life. its not a girl. don't fall for its arguments and conversations. it just is looking for attention and some kind of "thrill" in its life.
we went through this about a month ago with 5974 posts....so don't fall for it. just ignore its posts.
oh, and just as a reminder, this community is not for losing weight. so don't come here if your looking to lose your fat! you look like a buger.
xoxoxox
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[02 Oct 2007|06:45pm] |
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ANNIEBULL IS A FAT FUCK! ANNIEBULL IS FAT FUCKK...SHE SHOULD BE PART OF FAT GIRLS FATSPO ESPECIALLY HER FACE WITH HER TRIPLE CHINS!
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| day 2 of fast |
[02 Oct 2007|06:48pm] |
morning....
Its my second day of fasting....
I hope i can keep it up...its 6:50am....
I have class at 9:30am ahhh and i have a headache and im tryin to be ok for class
I woke up bc i hadnt eaten...i can do this!!!!!
think thin
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| ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh |
[02 Oct 2007|06:53pm] |
welllll m goin crazyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.........i ate a boiled egg...n fruits d whole day......n i purged...n evn blood was lik comin out.....n i was still stickin it in.....n i still feel fat.....n i luk fat 2....my stomachs bloatin lik hell....i had sumthin like 3 apples...3 pears...n 2 guavas...ughhh...cud sum1 temme hw many cals did i consume,,,,,n if i hav fruits will i put on weight,,,,,,
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[02 Oct 2007|06:57pm] |
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hey guys... go to anorexictalk
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| Hello :] |
[02 Oct 2007|07:17pm] |
I'm new here & to LJ
Thought i'd announce it lol.
Stats:
HT 5"1
CW 150 << fat D: D:
HW 180
GW 130
GW2 90
How are you all doing today?
I'm starting a fast tomorrow, that will hopefully last for one - two weeks or more if I can.
Any of you on a fast atm? Hows it going?
xx
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[02 Oct 2007|07:18pm] |
YES i can post on the main board :D I'm gaining 'trust' in this prison so they don't check my laptop hardly anymore
weigh day was yesterday
blaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
i'm atleast half a stone heavier and have still got two stone to go before i can be discharged!
I've been listening to alot of music:
It's like you're a drug
It's like you're a demon I can't face down
It's like I'm stuck
It's like I'm running from you all the time
And I know I let you have all the power
It's like the only company I seek is misery all around
It's like you're a leech
Sucking the life from me
It's like I can't breathe
Without you inside of me
And I know I let you have all the power
And I realize I'm never gonna quit you over time
It's like I can't breathe
It's like I can't see anything
Nothing but you
I'm addicted to you
It's like I can't think
Without you interrupting me
In my thoughts
In my dreams
You've taken over me
It's like I'm not me
It's like I'm not me
It's like I'm lost
It's like I'm giving up slowly
It's like you're a ghost that's haunting me
Leave me alone
And I know these voices in my head
Are mine alone
And I know I'll never change my ways
If I don't give you up now
It's like I can't breathe
It's like I can't see anything
Nothing but you
I'm addicted to you
It's like I can't think
Without you interrupting me
In my thoughts
In my dreams
You've taken over me
It's like I'm not me
It's like I'm not me
Song my kelly clarkson 'addicted' This song relates so much to anorexia !!!
Just had dinner and have shut myself away in my room again, so angry at the food they give us GGGRRRRRRR
it's nooooooot fair!!
Am loving this forum at the moment, so much action! haha
Hope you're all doing great!, i'm sick of my eyes being puffy from tears :(
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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[02 Oct 2007|07:18pm] |
to barbie_doll_01:
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[02 Oct 2007|07:22pm] |
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hiya how is every1? priddy gud day today only had like 500cals coz mi mum made me eat a chikin dinner like eww but i only eat the veg so supose its ok, but iv got no energy at all, dus any1 know if theres anything i can eat/drink wich will give me energy but with hardly no cals? mwah xxx
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[02 Oct 2007|07:36pm] |
can sum1 please tell me if this will make me fat cos i have no idea... basicly i didnt want 2 eat in the day so i thort i wud make fruit smoothies so i have energy 2 walk n stuf bt i dnt actualy have 2 eat anythin.... ok wat i pt in is...
plain yogurt
cut up fruit
milk
i use to have one evryday so i wud have energy but i stopped makin them cos i felt they wer makin me fat....
wat shal i do?
help?
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| family biggest loser |
[02 Oct 2007|07:53pm] |
ok, so my family is hosting a biggest loser. I guess my brother thinks we all need to lose weight. so the contest is between my mom, dad, brother and myself, my sister in law wants to do it too, but she can't cuz she is prego... SOOO... weight in is every Sunday, and everyone has to put $5 into the pot. It ends March 21, and the person who loses the highest percentage of weight wins about $520. the ultimate goal is to lose 250 lbs between the 4 of us... ANYWAYZ, I guess i'm going to use this as motivation to continue in my quest.
wish me luck ladies and lads!
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[02 Oct 2007|07:56pm] |
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i ate my sandwhich but im hating this full feelin, and my sista made me eat an aeor bubble but the thought of not having choclate for so long, and then having one it makes me sick, how can this food make you look and feel so disgusting about yourself, everytime my bf holds me i feel unconfortable, i want to try getting into a size 6 uk size im now a size 8/`0, so fat and ugly i hate it :( i don't knw wot to do, please can someone tell me wot to eat n it wud b so much easier doing it with someone instead of by myself, if anyones interested let me now. xXx stay thin girliess
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| bad bad bad day |
[02 Oct 2007|08:01pm] |
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Fever to Tell, YYYs |
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this morning was really great, i had some tea but nothing to eat.
i had half a pear for lunch...so about 45 cals.
just now i made 1/4 cup of pasta for dinner, and i meant to eat half and throw the rest away (it makes me feel better when i don't finish a portion that i've decided is reasonable, it's kind of weird). but then my friend stopped by and i kept picking at the plate when i was talking to her and i ended up eating most of it.
i have a million things going on this week so i'm already super stressed, and now i've fucked up a whole day of work because i wasn't paying attention.
blah.
i hope everyone else is sticking to their guns.
<3 wren
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[02 Oct 2007|08:02pm] |
Sooo today I had a little under 300 calories. I ate 3/4 of a nutri grain bar, and almost two apples and a few grapes. Me and my boyfriend went to McDonalds and he got a double quarter pounder. That's 740 calories! 380 from fat!!! and... I think it was like 40 grams of fat!!!! Isn't that just disgusting!? I don't think HE is disgusting, but I could never eat all of that. Ughhh. But yea, I could've gotten anything I wanted, but I didn't. I got a fruit salad and ate some of the apple pieces and some of the grapes, then threw the yogurt and the walnuts away :D
Also, earlier today when I weighed myself I was 131. I was 138 Thursday! So I've lost seven pounds in five days!!!!!!
Well, when my boyfriend came over today (he hasn't really seen me yet), he saw me, and he was like "OMG you look so GOOD" and he couldn't stop looking at me and telling me how beautiful and tiny I looked. I know I'm not tiny enough yet, but I'm tinier than I was last week. No one has said anything but him though. But of course he would notice, he knows everything about my body. He can tell when something's even a TINY bit smaller. But yea, he made me feel SO good!!!!!!
Anyway, I'm really stressed right now. I'm gonna go. Hope you're all doing wonderfully :D
<33
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| barbie girl |
[02 Oct 2007|08:03pm] |
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hey barbie girl y don't u go back to cybersexfinder or i hate periods and if any one wants proof
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[02 Oct 2007|08:09pm] |
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hi girls,
just thought id post my stats for my inspiration, even though its hard since im in treatment(outpatient) now.
CW-111
HW-128
LW-98
GW1-100
GW2-98
love ya
good luck
thin thin!
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| FRUSTRATED |
[02 Oct 2007|08:10pm] |
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im really pretty aggrivated....im doing pretty well i mean i usually stay under 500 cals a day and then work out and if i eat to much or even feel like i eat to much i have to purge or i cant deal with it (which is like everyday) but i cant break my fucking weight I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO! I just feel like such shit I NEED HELP tips, advice anything! i feel like people dont really answer my posts...and i just moved so im alone alot i dont really have any friends here yet but my boyfriend knows about my ED and is supportive but im really stuck right now i am so INCREDIBLY HOPELESS ....ive even tried diet pilss for a long time but they dont really do much....
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| SHIT |
[02 Oct 2007|08:12pm] |
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i just purged for the first time and i don't like it.
i got stoned and accidentally had a milkshake and i panicked and purged it. i am disgusting, i am a pig with no self-control. this sickens me.
i've only been having a couple of hundred calories a day. for almost a week now i've kept under 600 everyday, i was doing so well.
i fucked up so so so much in about five short minutes. i never ever thought i would need to purge.
what do i do????
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[02 Oct 2007|08:28pm] |
Can i say i loved making up bulimia, and i loved being fake anorexic last year? Did i tell you girls how i love crying myself to sleep every night cause i feel so fat? Oh yeah and i bet a mentioned how everyday i feel liek i have strep throat and how i cant eat anything without throwing it up.
Barbie Doll thank you so much for making me realize that im just doing this for attention.
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[02 Oct 2007|08:33pm] |
hey sorry i keep posting but i have a question....
does nutra-trim weight management chewing gum work???
and
could i buy diet pills over the counter if im under 18???
muahs!
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[02 Oct 2007|08:35pm] |
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HATE MY FAT LIFE!!!!
I could cry
but ive learent to be strong about it all. But im useless and will break down into tears in a few minutes no doubt.
i thought about being normal. Stop stressing. I cant do it.
I cant even handle drinking water sometimes. I know theres no carloies in it but to know ive consumed something makes me so annoyed with myself. It's been my birthday last week and the choclates i got were piled up high in the corner of my room.
ever since college began ive put on weight
i havnt weighed myself in days id rather not for the time being. Im too scared. Ive never had this binging problem for a while now but in the last 3 weeks.. control is out the window. one day ill be binging the next ill fast. Its like a rollercoaster. Its so extreme.
well im sick of it.
Ill restrict tommorow and thursday and fast on friday! I HATE EATIGN WITH MY FAMILY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HATE fooooooooooooooddddddddddddddddd!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
bye girls my mums coming xxx
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[02 Oct 2007|08:40pm] |
i've doin well...
but my period is late 8 days.....
so i gained 2 pounds!!!
i almost don't eat...
but don't lose anything!
the national volleyball championship start on wednesday..
and i can't starv in there...
last year i almost passed out like at 12 o'clock.. even i ate like 200 cals for breakfast!!! and then 60 (granola bar
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[02 Oct 2007|08:59pm] |
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FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK. today i binged hardcore i want to die.
grapes-150 cals
bits here and there-100 cals
fukcing little bit of lasagna-100 cals probably more
a little bit of brownie- 200 cals
550 FUCKING CALORIES
then i did 150 sit ups
and took 11 diet pills, im so fat
any more tips from u guys, much apprecitated
LUV you goodluck we will be skinny, you can do it!
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| Heeyy |
[02 Oct 2007|09:07pm] |
So Im new to this. I have had EDs for about 6 years now. Sure, in that time my parents have intervened. Now Im almost down to my goal weight again. It feels so good. When Im sitting in school and people are eating their doughnuts and fattening chips and sit there and chew on my gum and think to myself, "Wow, how can they do that and feel good inside?" I just cant...ughh. Well its nice to be in a community with ppl just like me. Just wanted to tell a little about me and say Hi!!!!!!
*A moment on the lips, forever on your hips*
Katie
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[02 Oct 2007|09:09pm] |
Do you ever feel like you've been holding back tears all day and then when you finally are alone they just don't come!
i'm so alone in this place!!!
haha i wanna talk but i have nothing to post :S
waste of space!!! story of my life
well i've just posted but i'm doing it again because i am ready to tie my bed sheets together and chuck them out my window, shimmy down the building and run and run and run haaaaaaaaaaaaaa
normal life where are you! i miss my friends, my family, my cat, my SANITY!
blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah
i'm am so frustrated in every aspect possible! haaaaaaaaaaaaa
xxx
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| hi everyone |
[02 Oct 2007|09:10pm] |
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hi guys
i'm new here. just thought i'd say hello.
how was everyone's day?
xx Issy
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[02 Oct 2007|09:15pm] |
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ANOREXICS ARE GAY ATTENTION SEEKING ASSMUNCHES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HEHEHHEHEHEHE AND FYI IM A
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[02 Oct 2007|09:16pm] |
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BLAH BLAH THAT ANNIEBULL GIRL IS FATTTTTTTTTTT
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anorexicqueen
