College Students with E.D.

anyone having trouble?

Thu, 08 Mar 2007 00:02:21 GMT

has anyone got into a rut lately? i cant seem to loose anymore weight? any suggestions would be welcomed!

Wed, 01 Nov 2006 11:28:35 GMT

Does anyone else really need to fast for a few days?
I've gained two pounds in the past few days, even though I've been restricting. I've decided that a two day fast is the only way to go. Only water, diet soda, and coffee allowed. Sugar-free gum is okay too. Diet pills a plus, if you have access to them. I'm going to do it Wednesday and Thursday. If you'd like to join me, that would be great! Just comment with your progress.

Sat, 16 Sep 2006 11:26:06 GMT

matabolism
just a quick question- you know when you burn calories off in the gym- do u only burn them on the places youv been focusing on,- eg your arms when lifting weights or your legs when running. or do you think you burn them from all over your body??

also, my dieting plan was to fast/ restrict (and occasionally b/p) without doing any exercise but my weights not budging. seems to be completely stuck- do you think i need to start doing as much exercise as i can to get the matabolism working faster?

and, do u think purging speeds up the matabolism?

Fri, 31 Mar 2006 15:47:18 GMT

We're finally going to get wireless internet for our flat so i'll be able to update everyday without being scared someone will see me at work!

i need this community - it got me through the roughest times at uni and there's just no other that i feel i can fit into.

i havent posted for probably almost a year, and my LJ is totally fucked since i havent posted while ive been trying to self-recover. i know im ED-NOS (self diagnosis, self help, self recovery...) so i thought id try and fix myself to be normal. but why do i just end up with this nagging feeling of being a failure?

and from that i lose interest in my entire life - i dont care if im at work on time, or if i miss a deadline, or how i do in exams, the overall picture in my head is that im a weak loser who cant even get her physical self disciplined, so how the fuck can i discipline my brain?

well, this time im going to do it. im so sick of this disgusting hanging belly, no wonder i dont have anyone special to love me.

getting thin is going to be the beginning of my new life and new success!

I'll post my stats on monday after a weekend of restricting. I'm gonna get a fat bag of draw too so i can lose weight like i did at uni. The munchies wont matter - if i just have a glass of skimmed milk with nesquick they just disappear and i'll only have had about 100 cals?

be strong everyone, and lets get this community going again! back in 2004/05 it was so active we could check it out a few times and see comments in our posts

xxxx

It's been ahwhile.

Mon, 13 Mar 2006 20:55:17 GMT

Sad to see that this community isn't as active as it used to be..oh well...still in university, almost done 2nd semester..i can't wait.
I have a few things to say and I feel like this is the only place I can say them:
1) I love bones, i love my bones..it's like a small secret I have that no one else knows about, i love it when i lose weight and i can see the bones in my chest, especially how my skin ripples over them when i lift my arms. I need to see more bones. (these thoughts are how i know i am nowhere near recovery..it's a fact that I have accepted)
2) Do you ever feel like you are finding the right eating disorder niche to fit into? I feel like I am trying to see where I fit best, fasting, or eating a small amount and then going to the gym?? it's a work in progress,.
I am not normally the type of girl who talks about her eating disorder in a positive way, but in the last couple of weeks, i feel "good" about it, it is kind of scaring me because maybe it means impending relapse, but I can't help but feel excited....

Wed, 08 Mar 2006 02:37:22 GMT

Not a lot has been happening. I'm so busy this semester that I think I might lose it. I get to finally graduate from college in May! Yay! One of my roomies keeps asking me questions. She's like, why do you hurt your body like that? That's just stupid. I'm like, wtf? You're supposed to be a social worker?? It has NOTHING to do with the abuse that I went through. NOTHING. Saying what I do is stupid doesn't help any. You're basically telling me I'm stupid. Thanks. Thanks a lot. I'm just like, whatever. You obviously don't get it. The judgement of others is what causes us to form these little groups on the Internet. It's safe for us. We know exactly what everyone is talking about. I LIKE it when my stomach growls. It means I have control. No, no. no. It's not really about control either, is it ladies? I'm just so sick and tired of people saying I'm stupid for wanting to be thin.

I've been working out at a gym for over two months. It's been hardcore. So, I got on the scales the other day...BIG mistake. I've gained 13 pounds. How? I don't eat, I exercise a lot...I just don't get it. Everyone was like, don't worry about it...don't you FEEL better??...muscle weighs more than fat...etc. I'm like, you don't get it. You just don't get it.

So, I went to GNC and bought these new diet pills. It's called Burn 60. I haven't been hungry at all. It's great. And I don't get shaky or anything.

That's enough for now.

question

Sun, 26 Feb 2006 00:07:00 GMT

how many cals in a shot of vodka? just plain vodka. thanks :)

minor lapse

Sun, 19 Feb 2006 16:10:25 GMT

it's been a rough week. exams mean i don't have time to go to the gym. so after not running for a week i ran yesterday and it felt terrific. unfortunately i weighed myself this morning and im still at 132.0. i just want to brek into the 120's. i had a bowl of special k and a banana so far today. im getting some coffee and then absolutely nothing else until tonight. i will make something small and that is it. it's getting too close to the end of the month. i want to lose at least those 2. i just need my control back.

Sat, 11 Feb 2006 14:36:59 GMT

It's going to be tricky. I feel like have people watching me like it's their job. But I'm sick and tired of being in so called "recovery". I didn't want to be here---I want to get back to where I was. When I wasn't at all happy, but I was at least comfortable.

Day 1 = today.

Stay strong, girls!

loss?

Sun, 05 Feb 2006 15:34:11 GMT

yesterday i was 132.0 and today i was 131.4 and yesterday was a huge binge on cookies! i don't deserve it but whatever. i did spend a long time at the gym yesterday. i just want to be in the 120's so much because then my goal will actually feel attainable. so my goal for this week is to be in the 120's by friday. i have no junk food in the house so that shouldn't be too hard. so far today i've only had special k, 150 cals. i'll prob drink some coffee while im working but other than that im goona be strong. good luck to you all, ladies...and please post here!

Sat, 04 Feb 2006 20:21:16 GMT

Does anyone have a good site to get epherda?

awful

Tue, 31 Jan 2006 19:57:09 GMT

the past 3 days have been absolutely awful. i can't even describe it. so its major restricting from now until saturday. no exceptions. im going to make up for the past few days and then some. and break into the 120's!!! who's with me?

Mon, 30 Jan 2006 02:17:24 GMT

so i recently got these really bad stomach pains for the last couple days. making me not able to eat many fatty foods, cuz it just makes the pain worse.

therefore my diet for the last few days? few handfuls of special k cereal, low sodium rice cakes, saltine crackers, unbuttered toast, water water water, ginger ale.

while i am still quite hungry... yay!

im working on fitting back into these size 2 American Eagle jeans that i shrunk in the wash. well they shrunk and i grew. but I WILL FIT DAMNIT. because theyre cute and fit nicely.. when they did fit.

i love being sick.

such a good day

Fri, 27 Jan 2006 02:37:07 GMT

so today i went a little over my cals but lately i have been going WAY over. so it was a 1240 day but i wend to the gym, burned 300 cals on the treadmill and 300 cals on the elliptical so i netted 640 cals for the day. this is getting better. watching dancing with the stars and staring at all their flat stomachs is amazing inspiration!

another day

Mon, 23 Jan 2006 16:10:59 GMT

so i haven't been too bad lately. about 600 cals per day after subtracting what i burn at the gym. im going to go to the gym every day that i don't have a dance class. i run for 30 minutes (300 cals) and do the elliptical for 30 minutes (300 cals). i eat about 1000 cals a day so i figure thats ok. i was 130 yesterday and today im 132. i don't get it but i think overall i will lose eventually. i think i need to start drinking tea again. before i would always make a cup of tea if i was hungry and it worked realllly well. so thats the new plan.

also, im going to start looking for some thinspiration pics. the victoria's secrete catalog is good enough for me though.

new school year

Thu, 19 Jan 2006 22:39:59 GMT

for reasons i cannot post here, i MUST lose weight this semester. i have been lax this past year but it will happen no more. i have my scale, my diary, and my running shoes so i should be all set. im going to post here often so im somewhat responsible for what i do.

lw: 102
hw: 139
cw: 132
height: 5'5"
stg: 120

today i hat 730 cals total and im going to gym soon, where i usually burn 600. so netting 130 for the day isn't terrible.

I'm back and i need major support

Thu, 12 Jan 2006 18:49:16 GMT

Right,

so how long has it been, like since the summer? well in the past three weeks my life has changed drastically to the point where my my dad has called an immediate family vacation to take place because "emily needs her sister and disneyland".

the drama over the summer is vaguely remeniscient to me now. the guy i was dating then was a total snoop and scanned through my computer and found this journal. he even made a fake msn account and talked to this guy i'd had a thing for back in first year uni. apparently he did all this because he loved me, and yes i kept with the freaky sounding thing becuase i was flattered that he went through so much trouble. but that's no more. three days before christmas...on the phone...he ends it by telling me that he just doesn't feel the same way about me anymore.

so i'm gone. my heart has been shattered into a million pieces but at least i know that karma will come to get him in the end and at some point in his life when he's at his most vulnerable the same will happen to him. so he can dump me in the midst of depression, breast biopsies, and the apparent "safe time" of christmas, becuase it will come back to him times three.

now i'm tired of typing. good news though. for the first week i was constantly nervous and all i could stomach was watermelon and maybe the occasional cracker. yeah, i missed christmas dinner and breakfast. and with all the running i now do so that i can get to sleep at night my body has svelted back down to the lovely pre-bf one it was in the summer of '04 when i was at my most determined stance. i eat fairly regularly and low-cal now becuase i'm training for marathons, and now i'm starting to loose the energy to run for my usual hour every morning now so i think i'm going to have to up the carbs a bit.

new stats:
current weight: 138 lbs !!
height: 5'11"
highest weight: 150 (a mere three weeks ago)

well off for my run.

em

Mon, 09 Jan 2006 06:01:11 GMT

happy new year. i know im a little late. but oh well.

for starters. im going to lose 30 pounds first. after i shed those 30 pounds, we'll see if my parents throw me into a treatment center. cuz theyll freak out. BUT 30 POUNDS!

according to some magazine i read... the average person gains about 7 pounds between Thanksgiving and New Years. That's just fantastic!!! I think I'm part of that average too. Damn holidays. it's okay tho. i go back to school next sunday (shoot finally)

the plan for school?

MWF: Morning run of 4 miles.
MWF: After run, gym for an hour, with elliptical, weights, bike.
TTH: Morning run of 3 miles.
TTH: no food until dinner. and then.. just a wee salad.
Every weeknight: Bust out the yoga mat and do some ab work.

food intake: salads. weight control oatmeal. special k cereal. fruit. veggies. turkey. chicken.

and no more than that!!!

Fri, 06 Jan 2006 16:43:30 GMT

ok, so iv started binging and purging again,didnt take long to come out of my ana phrase and turn to mia. its like my hunger saves itself then lets itself out all at once, so i began craving wierd foods again, and slowly started purging again, only this time dont think twice about it, i just do it. i have to, just to get the crap out of m system.unlike last year, i dont binge that much as i used to but instead il purge after iv eaten anything-meal wise. then il try to restrict the rest of the dat, but after binging once, thats impossible.,which leads me to the question...
is it wrong to think that nothing is wrong with b/p. im not losing weight. if anything putting it on. but in a strange way, its addictive, know wat i mean?
anyway, just wondered everyone elses views on it. how many of u b/p- how often etc? me its like more than once a day, easily. its not even as if im seriously depressed. i know im not happy but im much happier than last year. its really wierd. it gets me (mia) when least expected.
wierd huh, anyways luv ya!

Fri, 06 Jan 2006 05:32:46 GMT

my bmi in jan:27.7
my bmi in nov:19.8
my bmi now:22.3

damn...........................................

i want 18.3

not 22.3 :(

kill me now...

Sun, 01 Jan 2006 07:46:12 GMT

My New Year's Resolutions:

No more purging
No more crazy restricting
EAT RIGHT
Eat as natural as possible (hey, im almost there)
NO MORE SEX (this will be the hardest)
No massacres involving machetes
Get my cat lots of myspace friends (www.myspace.com/getmesometuna im "so fickle" on her friends list... seriously, i wanted to see how many ppl would actually friend my cat... you know other ppls pets have myspaces too? wow, i need a life.)

Sat, 31 Dec 2005 15:32:06 GMT

Ok...I've triple checked.

How does a person (me.) go from being 123.75 one day, to being 127.5 the next...?
Can you say wtf? That's over 3.5 pounds difference...and I was by no means piggish yesterday!

Sat, 31 Dec 2005 00:00:44 GMT

On 50 hours of my fast~I only need 3 more to go till I break my record!~Hope u all are doing well! Lemme know if anyone wants to join!

Thu, 29 Dec 2005 19:53:04 GMT

my new years resolution? actually it's more like my weightloss plan for the new year. sadly this cant start until i head back to school. because my parents will get suspicious.

mwf: start off with 2 miles, then after a few weeks, 5 miles in the morning.
tth: 2 miles in the morning. only eat dinner.
everyday: abs before bed. salads and more salads with minimal dressing. no carbs! white meat only. and yummie coffee.
weekend: rest. and have a little fun.

we'll see how that goes.

stats
cw: 128
hw: 128
lw: 105
gw: 110[for now]
height: 5'3"

ew. that's just disgusting.

whys itnot working?

Wed, 28 Dec 2005 20:59:21 GMT

ok, so iv gained back all control, or most of it. iv been restricting hardcore!and proud! i wana get back to where i was last year.-107ish, but i dont get it, iv had about 200 calories a day since last wed and i cant see any change???? WHY!? im so confused.(refuse to get on scale til i can see reallly big change) some days id only have fluids? this time last year i lost about 7pounds a week, eating about 500cals perday, but now my body seems to have gone into storage mode? would that be why? and also, do any of you think (one of my wierd psychoanalogies!) that once your mind finds out its turning ana or mia, i has the opposit effect on your body, eg make u eat more?
and also, is it really sick to walk around in baggy clothes in hope that people look at u and think ur ana? that really bad?just wondered if any one else does that?

one last thing.. does anyone else at a low weight-eg 100s or below, get away without doing any exercise?