Below are the most recent 8 friends' journal entries.

Friday, October 10th, 2008
artsandmusic45	6:48p	Hey Katie Okay I am very sick of getting worked up over stupid things. The anger and jealousy raising even more in me. The hurt and sadness welling up inside me. I wish I didn't take things so literally but I do, its who I am. I am very sick of being second best at everything. Yes I am going to New York, but who was I competing against anyway? They accept everyone. I wish things were back to normal. Why must I have to compete against my best friend, even though she doesn't even realize its a competition because she always wins. Trying not to feel something doesn't help, it just makes the pain increase. And it bothers me that I really trully care, becaue before I liked being friends with this person and we were pretty close. And I enjoyed hanging out with the person, But no, I get second best again. I'm getting really tired of having emotions. I just wish I could turn them off for good. It would make things less complicated and life so much easier. Current Music: Hey Katie- Josh Kelley (Comment on this)
Thursday, October 9th, 2008
stephinnyc	12:51p	Most recent writing venture How's this for writing? Where Have All the Palm Trees Gone? by Stephanie Fravel On August 1, 2008, two overweight suitcases fall onto the baggage carousel at O’Hare International Airport as if cementing the phrase, “Welcome to Chicago. Have fun schlepping your shit.” I lift them onto the newly polished floor with a pretend ease in order to avoid any unsolicited help from the surrounding baseball-capped and smiling Midwestern men. This will be easy, I tell myself. A smile finds its way to my lips as I continue under the façade of “I’ve done this before,” and proceed to move my suitcases, one after the other, to the looming glass doors. It is as if my bags are playing leapfrog. I continue in this fashion, feigning signs of confidence and never looking anyone in the eye until I spot my rescuer’s car arrive at the far curb. “Excuse me, miss? Would you like some help?” “Oh, no thanks,” I giggle to the stranger sporting a premature Bears jersey. “My friend just got here. Way…over…there. But thanks.” He eyes my luggage and glances at the University of Miami logo scrawling my chest. “Miami, eh? Well, welcome. You picked a great time to be here. Get ready for the cold!” With that, my heaviest suitcase is swept into the arms of my rescuer and friend Drew from Miami, and Mr. Bears jersey disappears into the wave of more new arrivals. Drew had recently moved to Chicago as well, only his was a return trip. His short two years in grad school at Miami did nothing more than assure him of his unconditional love of the Windy City. Sure, there are no palm trees and families of egrets roaming the sidewalks - but there are hotdogs, pizzas, and an unending number of “festivals” offering unending amounts of beer every weekend from here to October. The excitement and vibrancy of the skyline overwhelms my senses as soon as it comes into focus. Forget the beach, I have new city lights and the sounds of the “L” lulling me to sleep now. Drew points out the Sears Tower and the Hancock Building and tells me that I must get pictures taken “window washing” at the latter. “Excuse me? Chicago makes their tourists wash windows for admission?” I’d rather have a Cuban accost me on the street for my status as a gringa. In a city that prides itself on native talent and local businesses; I discover the absence of Taco Bell and presence of Lazo’s Tacos refreshing. Who needs Domino’s at 2:00am when you can just call Chicago’s? Drew, aware of my enchantment with Wicker Park since renting the movie with me a few months prior to the move, drives into the hip and lively center at Damen and North Avenues. Suddenly Josh Hartnett vanishes and thoughts of meeting a new person at a cool place like Double Door enchant me instead. Little did I know how easy it would be to meet people here. On Thursday night during my first full week as a Chicago resident, I find myself on my own. Determined not to become a sad, little artist girl holed up in her Logan Square garden apartment, I trek back into Wicker Park. I stroll along Division past places called Angels and Demons and Moonshine until I find a place with a patio sans tall scary guys in tight black jeans and plastered hair. Hipsters, I learn, is how these people are labeled. Hipsters? In Miami, I would have just called these guys chongos – but maybe that term lacks be appropriation here. 50/50 is alluring with its pink lighting and friendly staff who appear to be my age. I take a seat at the bar and smile at the bartender, saying “I have a friend meeting me here,” so he might think I’m some important, young heel-clacker. He must have doubts when I order a Hoegaarden and nurse it like a frightened sewer rat. In between intervals of checking my phone and faking interest in a Bears exhibition game, three young businessmen find their way to me. These men, I learn later, are referred to as Lincoln Park Chads. They see a girl in a white tank top and pink skirt as invitation to her naïveté and assume this Miami girl either missed or ignored the memo that one must wear black when going out in Chi-town. When conversation turns to sports (as most every bar conversation has so far), I spout out facts from the summer of 2003 when Mark Prior and Kerry Wood were rising superstars. I figure this makes me appear to be a real Chicago person with real fan knowledge. No one has to know that in reality, I know nothing about this season’s team and what tidbits I did fake were products of my Iowa upbringing. “So let me get this straight,” says Lincoln Park Chad #1. “You came from Iowa. Had a taste of New York, then moved to Miami, and now you’re here? Why the hell would you leave the beach? Did you forget what winter was like?” My “been there, done that” smile returns as I explain my affair with the mystique behind Chicago’s arts and entertainment industry as well as the unconditional love Drew so oft recalled. I pretend not to notice the look of disdain that washes over my Lincoln Park Chads’ faces at the mention of winter. I pretend not to notice my own inner fear of the returning dark, cold months. I ignore the fact that I may become just another artist labeled “hipster” spending my days lolling the streets of Wicker Park, wishing that the man running by with his dog were my live-in boyfriend. Realizing I have lost my audience, I throw in some sarcasm and say, “Call me a sadist. Bring on the cold!” We clink glasses like old U of I frat buddies and I smile at the bartender again, knowing I have completed some sort of initiation into some of Chicagoans’ common denominators. Beer, sports, and a shared hate of winter. One of my overweight suitcases is still packed with summer clothes, flip flops, and an emergency survival kit should I change my mind and hop on the Blue Line to O’Hare. But since I’ve discovered that I don’t really have to wash the windows to earn my right to the astounding view from the Hancock Observatory, and my egret family has been replaced with neighboring dogs, I figure I can deal with the lack of palm trees. Besides, what good is a palm tree if you can’t complain about it? Current Music: Ben Folds - Way to Normal (Comment on this)
Tuesday, October 7th, 2008
stav_meishar	9:03p	End of first semester. עקרונית אני רוצה לכתוב פעם בשבועיים, אבל איכשהו יצא שלא כתבתי שלושה. אז התנצלותי על העניין... עכשיו תנשמו עמוק, כי זה יהיה ארוך.   ענייני לימודים: ביום רביעי התחילו בחינות סוף הסמסטר שלנו, שמסתיימות מחר. ב-10 לחודש אנחנו יוצאים רשמית לחופשה של עשרה ימים, וחוזרים לסמסטר שני ב-20 לחודש. אז איך הבחינות? יום רביעי הייתה הבחינה בסטפס ובג'אז. הבחינה נמשכה פאקינג ארבע וחצי שעות, זה היה מתיש והיה לי כאב ראש מפוצץ, אבל היה בסדר. לא היה מזהיר, יכל להיות יותר טוב, אבל אני יודעת שהשתפרתי בהרבה ואני מקווה שאתקדם ברמה או שתיים סמסטר הבא. אותו דבר בדיוק אפשר להגיד על הבחינה בבלט ומחול לתאטרון שהייתה למחרת – שעות, כאב ראש, ביצועים בסדר פלוס ותחושת תסכול. אני חייבת ללמוד לא להילחץ כל-כך מריקוד, ברגע שאני רגועה אני רוקדת כל-כך הרבה יותר טוב. ביום חמישי הייתה גם הבחינה שלנו במעבדת סרטים, שזו הבחינה הכתובה היחידה. לצערי התבלבלה לי היסטוריית מחזות הזמר בראש, אבל את רוב התשובות ידעתי, אני מאמינה שהציון יהיה באזור התשעים, שבשבילי זה בושה, אבל אני אחיה עם זה :) יום שישי הייתה הבחינה החשובה ביותר מבחינת כולנו – הבחינה במחזות זמר, כלומר הבחינה שבה אנחנו מבצעים את השיר שלנו.      [מתחממים על הבוקר, בתלבושות.]   זו הייתה גם הבחינה עם הכי הרבה חברי פקולטה – כמעט עשרים מורים למחזות זמר, מורים לפיתוח קול ופסנתרים. את חלקם הכרתי, את רובם לא. וכמו בבחינות אמצע הסמסטר – השיר שלי פתח את היום, פאקינג תשע וחצי בבוקר, "הפשטידות הכי גרועות בלונדון" מסוויני טוד. עמדתי על הבמה, בתלבושת שלי עם אביזרי חנות הבשר שלי, נשמתי עמוק, נכנסתי למוד של המאה ה-19, והתפוצצתי. לא הביטוי הכי מדויק, אני משערת, אבל ככה זה הרגיש – התפוצצות של אנרגיה. לא חשבתי על כל מליון הדברים הקטנים שעבדתי עליהם, הם אמורים להיות כבר שם, פשוט זרמתי ונהניתי. כולנו היינו פאקינג מעולים, עכשיו בדיעבד אני יודעת כי אמרו לנו, אבל היום גם אמרו לי משהו נוסף שאני רוצה לשמור לסוף הפוסט... היום היו לנו בחינות בקריאת תווים (הלך טוב, למעשה גם פה אני עשויה לבקש להתקדם לרמה הבאה), דיבור (הלך לי פחות טוב מכרגיל, ובכל זאת קיבלתי ציון גבוה) ובמשחק (אני חושבת שהיינו טובות). מחר הבחינה האחרונה שלנו לסמסטר הזה, בשירה קלאסית. בנוסף – הכרטיסייה שלי לברודווי דאנס סנטר עומדת להיגמר. לקחתי שלושה שיעורי סטפס, שהרגשתי ששיפרו אותי לא מעט, ושישה שיעורי מחול לתאטרון ששיפרו אותי מאוד וגם היו ממש ממש כיפיים. בין השאר למדתי שתי כוריאוגרפיות של פוסי ("סינג סינג בני גודמן" מ"דנסינג" ו"סטים היט" מ"משחקי פיג'מה"), כוריאוגרפיה לטינית נהדרת לצלילי שיר הנושא של "אין זה הייטס" וכוריאוגרפית סווינג מטורפת עם המון נפילות על הרצפה מתוך "איינט מיסבהייבין". באמא שלי, אני חורקת שיניים עם המחול, אבל אני לא אוותר לפני שאהיה רקדנית טובה לפחות כמו שאני שרה ומשחקת.     ולענייני בילויים ושאר ירקות: שבוע 11 – ביום ראשון, כאמור, הלכתי לברודווי און ברודווי בטיימס סקוור. היה מ-ט-ו-ר-ף – צפוף לאללה אבל ממש כיף, כל מחזמר על ברודווי ביצע שיר אחד והיה נהדר. ולהלן כמה טעימות:         [שתי מתוך שלושת חשפניות הבורלסק בנאמבר "You gotta get a gimmick" מתוך ג'יפסי.]         [אהבתי החדשה, מקום שני אחרי אלן קאמינג כמובן – מר ג'יימס ברבר, שמשחק כרגע את סידני ב"סיפור על שתי ערים" ושיחק את מר רוצ'סטר במחזמר של "ג'יין אייר". אחד הסטרייטים היחידים בברודווי, נשוי כמובן, אבל כפרה עליו.]   באותו הערב הלכתי – חינם! – להופעה החדשה של קאסט "פורבידן ברודווי". למי שלא מכיר – זה חבר'ה שרצים כבר איזה עשרים שנים עם מופעים שצוחקים על מחזות הזמר בברודווי, הם מחליפים מופע כל איזה חצי שנה בהתאם למה שרץ כרגע בברודווי עצמה, וזה ערב שנועד חד וחלק למי שמכיר כל פיפס בברודווי, בדיחות פנימיות מה שנקרא. היה קורע לחלוטין, אני מתה על בדיחות תאטרון.   שבוע 12 – ביום שלישי הלכתי לאירוע בספריית הפרפורמינג ארטס בלינקולן סנטר, אירוע מיוחד לסטודנטים שנועד להכיר להם את הספרייה. היה נחמד להתמנגל (מהמילה מינגלינג) עם סטודנטים מהעיר, לנשנש קצת ולהכיר את הספרייה. יש שם כרגע תערוכה מ-ד-ה-י-מ-ה של צלם שאיני זוכרת את שמו, לצערי, שאהב לצלם פרפורמרים, בעיקר רקדנים, בעיקר בשחור לבן, ובעיקר בעירום. יש שם תמונות יפיפיות לגמרי, לראות את כל השרירים האלה עובדים אצל הרקדנים כשהם מחזיקים פוזה זה פשוט מרתק מבחינתי. ברביעי הלכתי לוילג' להקרנה של הסרט "מחילות", שהתארח פה לאיזה שבוע. עוד בארץ רציתי לראות אותו (כפרה על איתי טיראן) ולא יצא לי, ומאז שאני פה אני מוצאת את עצמי מתרגשת מחדש ליהדות ולישראליות שלי... הסרט עצמו היה ממש ממש לא משהו, אבל איתי טיראן נהדר, וזה היה מעניין מבחינה ויזואלית. אני מקווה ללכת לראות את "ואלס עם באשיר" שמתארח פה בפסטיבל הסרטים של לינקולן סנטר. ביום חמישי הלכנו כל השכבה לראות את "האביב מתעורר" (כרטיסים בחמישה דולר, ייאי!), והיה ממש נהדר. המחזמר עצמו לא כוס התה שלי, יותר מדי התלהבות נעורים ופחות מדי בשר, אבל הייתה לזה אנרגיה נדרת וממש אהבתי את התפאורה. זה היה ערב נחמד של תאטרון לא רע אם כי לא מבריק.     [משמאל – דיוויד, רפאל, אני, איליין וראיין.]   ביום שישי הלכתי למוזיאון גוגנהיים. לצערי רוב התערוכות הקבועות היו סגורות בגלל שהם מארגנים תערוכה חדשה, אבל הייתה תערוכה נהדרת של לואיס בורג'ואה, רבה פסלים ממיני חומרים בצורת בולבולים, שזה תמיד נחמד, וכל מיני תאים מטרידים למדי עם חוויות ילדות מונצחות דרך התת מודע. מעניין. אני בהחלט אחזור שוב, בשביל לראות את האוספים הקבועים, פיקאסו, ון גוך ושאר אומנים אהובים עליי. בשבת עבדתי בפעילות לילדים של החב"ד, אני עושה את זה מעכשיו כל שבת, זה נחמד ומעניין, וזה כסף.   שבוע 13 – ביום שלישי הלכתי לראות את הסרט החדש של אחים כהן – “burn after reading" – שהי הזוי בטירוף ומצחיק כמו שרק האחים כהן יודעים לעשות. אחרי זה נשאר לעוד סרט – "אפלוסה" – שזה סרט מערב פרוע, אבל שקט ומהורהר, פשוט כי באמריקה אפשר להתפלח לכמה סרטים שרוצים כל עוד קונים כרטיס אחד, זה כל-כך קל שחייבים לנצל את זה מתישהו... ביום רביעי הלכתי שוב לריקודי עם. אני מאמינה שאנסה ללכת לשם פעם בשבועיים או שלושה, כי זה ספורט וזה שומר על כושר וזה גם כיף לצעוד לתוך עולם אחר מדי פעם. כן, תתפלאו, כמה זה עולם אחר מניו יורק. ביום שישי הוזמנתי לארוחת ערב אצל משפחת קורווין. קצת רקע, לקוראים שאינם מקרב המשפחה שלי – דודה שלי, דיתי, למדה מוזיקה בקולג' בברוקלין בזמנה, ובשביל הכנסה לימדה עברית באולפן שם. אחד התלמידים שלה היה פול קורווין, יהודי מתוק ומקסים בסוף שנות החמישים לחייו, והם נשארו בקשר עד היום והמשפחות שלנו מאוד קרובות – הם מתארחים אצלנו כשהם בארץ, אנחנו אצלם, זה קשר חם ונהדר. וסוף סוף זכיתי לפגוש כמעט את כל המשפחה לארוחת שבת – פול ואשתו, בנם והבחורה שלנו, ההורים של פול ושני בני דודים. היה שמח, קולני, טעים ונעים. תמיד טוב להיות בחברה של חברים בעיר הזו... ולמשפחה הפולנייה שלי, שבטוח ירצו לדעת – לא, לא באתי בידיים ריקות, הבאתי להם בונבוניירה של לינדט שחוסלה צ'יק צ'ק.     [פול ואני.]   כשחזרתי למעונות באיזור עשר קיבלתי שיחה מעמית ועודד, שני חברים שלי מתלמה שמבקרים בניו יורק וביקרו אתי היום באמדה (עמית מתעניין בלימודים פה). ישבנו לפרוזן יוגורט מאוחר.     [אני, עודד ועמית]   אחרי זה אדם, בראדלי ואליזבת עוד גררו אותי לנשנוש של חצות, כך שהיה ערב מלא ונהדר.     [בראדלי בולס. הייתי חייבת... :) ]   למחרת, יום שבת, נפגשתי לארוחת ערב מוקדמת עם עוד חבר מישראל – מיכאל פקה ואשתו הטרייה – שביקרו בניו יורק כחלק מירח הדבש שלהם. ישבנו לסינית, היה טעים, והיה נחמד לבלות את הסוף שבוע הזה עם חברים מהארץ, באמת. אחרי זה הסתובבתי אתם בטיימס סקוור ונטשתי בתשע לטובת הפאב בלוקהדס, שם נפגשתי עם חבריי האמריקאים ועם עמית, שהם התעקשו להכיר כי הם קיוו שהוא הומו ואני לא הייתה בטוחה בנידון. התברר שהוא סטרייט, מה שמאוד אכזב את הבנים, אבל היה נהדר בכל זאת.     [מימין: אדם, סקיילר, אני, עמית, בראדלי וזאק.]   שבוע 14 – יום שני, ערב ראש השנה, סעדתי בחברת החב"דניקים. הזוג הנחמד שמעסיק אותי הזמין אותי להצטרף אליהם שלא אהיה לבד בערב חג. האוכל, כמובן, היה מזעזע, אבל החברה משעשעת ובסך הכל היה נעים. שתדעו – אני לא מתכננת להיות דתייה, אבל זה כל-כך מרתק לקבל הצצה לעולם הזה. ובסוף השבוע הזה, שישי עד ראשון, הייתי בשארלוסטוויל אצל גיא. הגעתי בשישי בערב בטיסה, והמשכנו לארוחת ערב נחמדה של סטייק. אלוהים, כמה אני אוהבת סטייק טוב. בילינו את סוף השבוע בעיקר בהתפדלעות – הרבה פיצה, הרבה כירבולים במיטה, הסתובבות בעיר וסרטים (ראינו את "choke" של פלניוק בקולנוע, שהיה חביב אך לא מבריק, ואת "ברוז'" בוידאו שהיה מעולה ומומלץ בחום). היה נחמד לקבל הפסקה מהעיר.   עוד משהו כללי – עבודה, למשפחה המודאגת שלי, בעיקר: אני עובדת כל שבת אצל הזוג הזה, ועושה להם מדי פעם בייביסיטר. בנוסף הם המליצו עליי לאמא לילד בן שנתיים, ואני אתחיל לעבוד אתה בסוף החודש. אז נכנס לי קצת כסף, שזה טוב. ולסיים את הפוסט בחיוך – היום נחת פה דניאל, החבר הכי יקר לי בעולם, והוא הולך להיות פה שלושה שבועות. אני כל-כך שמחה שהוא פה שקשה לתאר. הסמסמטר הראשון נגמר טוב, הצבנו רף גבוה לעצמנו, המורים מחזיקים מאיתנו, ואני מחכה בכיליון עיניים לסמסטר השני.   נשיקות. אוהבת.         [תמונה אחת אחרונה – הכיתה המקסימה שלי, C1, בשיעור האחרון של מחול לתאטרון. שורה עליונה מימין: אנדריאה, ניקול, ראיין, קייסי (המורה שלנו, זה שנראה נהדר בתור אישה, וזה שכשאנחנו מפשקים רגליים אוהב לומר לנו "פשקו רגליים כאילו שזה ליל שישי!"), קייטלין, סקיילר, זאק, אני (רזיתי באמא'שלי!), אליזבת, אדם ואלישה. יושבים מימין: רפאל, קלסי, איילין, דיוויד ובראדלי. אני ממש, ממש, ממש אוהבת את הכיתה שלי.]     והיום היה קטע מדהים, שהשאיר אותי מרוגשת עד עמקי נשמתי. אני חוששת שמי שלא מכיר את תעשיית מחזות הזמר לעומק יתקשה להבין את ההתלהבות שלי, אבל בכל זאת – המורה שלנו למשחק הייתה בין המורים שבאו לראות את הבחינה שלנו במחזות זמר. היא דיברה אל כולנו בכללי, אמרה שהיינו נפלאים, שהם לא רגילים לראות תלמידי סמסטר ראשון ברמה כל-כך גבוהה, ושכל המורים מצפים לעבוד אתנו בעתיד. ואז היא פנתה אליי ספציפית – "סתיו, את חייבת לשמוע את זה. את יודעת מי זה ג'ים?" - "אמממ... לא." - "הוא אחד מהפסנתרנים שלנו, הוא עובד די הרבה גם בחוץ. בין השאר הוא היה הפסנתר בכל תהליך החזרות של ההפקה המקורית של סוויני טוד ב-79, את יודעת, עם אנג'לה לנסברי." לקח לזה שנייה לשקוע. - "כן...?" - "בקיצור, כשסיימת עם השיר שלך הוא פנה אליי בחיוך ואמר – 'את יודעת, ליסה, סטיב [סטיבן סונדהיים...] ואני עבדנו עם אנג'לה על השיר הזה במשך שבעה שבועות כל יום ויום. זה שיר כל-כך קשה שהיינו חייבים לעשות את זה כל יום במשך שבעה שבועות שלמים כדי שהיא תשלוט בשיר, את יודעת, אביזרים, מבטא, כל זה. אני לא צריך לספר לך שזה שיר קשה. והילדה הזאת עכשיו הייתה פנ-טס-טית!' " חבריי לכיתה הסתכלו עליי לשנייה, מחייכים, אבל עם כבוד בעיניים. שוב – קצת קשה להסביר את חשיבות העניין. אבל שתדעו שזו נקודת ציון, מיילסטון מה שנקרא. ישבתי שם בשוק, לא בדיוק בטוחה איך לאכול את זה. בן אדם שעבד בהפקה המקורית של המחזמר הזה, שנמצא בפאקינג קשר טלפוני עם אנשים כמו סטיבן סונדהיים ואנג'לה לנסברי, חשב שביצעתי את השיר לא בסדר, אלא מעולה. זה מדהים, זה נהדר, זה אומר דברים מאוד טובים. זה אומר שהתמודדתי עם שיר מגה קשה בצורה טובה מאוד. זה אומר שכנראה יש לי יותר כישרון ממה שאני מעזה לקוות. זה אומר שיש אנשים שמבינים בתעשייה הזו שחושבים שאגיע רחוק. זה אומר שאנשים עם יופי של קשרים מעריכים אותי ויזכרו אותי. בקיצור, אני ממש מאושרת מהדבר הזה. ומלאת תקוות לעתיד.  Current Mood: pensive (Comment on this)
artsandmusic45	1:33a	Anticipation Now looking at the next week, I don't see fear and emotional partings, I see oppurtunity and excitement. I cannot absolutely wait to leave and see New York again. After calming down yesterday and may I say it was the biggest freakout I have had in a while, I realized how great this is going to be. I visualized walking down Broadway, (literally because thats the street my school is on) bundled up, on my way to class. Feeling like a New Yorker. Nothing like a tourist, able to say that New York is my second home. Meeting and haning out with new people, I am looking forward to. Taking amazing classes and learning as much as I can soak up. Taking advantage of the area, seeing as many plays as possible, chilling in central park, its just blocks east of us. Going to clubs, bars, museums, coffee shops, famous locations. Taking as many dance classes as I want. Or can afford. I'm so gratteful to be going to this school and so thankful that my parents are letting me go. I cannot wait to go! Exactly a week from tonight I will be in New York City. Starting my new life, and future! Current Mood: excited (Comment on this)
Monday, October 6th, 2008
artsandmusic45	2:18a	Missing you I don't even know what I'm saying now, but I just know that I'm afraid and nervous. Like I'm leaving my hometown, going into the unknown. Leaving my friends, my church, my house, my cats, my family, everything I've known for 18 years to go to a place where I know two people, and met several online. I know I'm going to be homesick.. just thinking of leaving is making me homesick. At times I hate my family, well really almost always we fight, but I don't want to leave them. Like if I'm sick, my mom won't be there to take care of me, my sister won't be there constantly being a pain and a friend. This morning, its stupid, but we were out to lunch and my dad started singing to the radio like he always does, I'm going to miss that. I'm going to miss stopping by my grandmas house just to say hi, I'm going to miss having my cat at my side every night (yeah sounds stupid, but true), I'm going to miss my room and bed. My car, my weird crappy almost breaking down pink car, I will miss. I'm going to miss my kitchen, how many times I've just sat on the counter talking on the phone or just having friends over in my kitchen. I'm going to miss carving pumpkins during Halloween, freaking out every Christmastime when 100.3 plays nonstop christmas music that I can't get enough of until I'm sick of it. I'm going to miss doing christmas shopping with my sister, putting up the tree, and decorations. Being here for easter and my mom and her funny homemade easter baskets. And being in this crazy Michigan Weather always complaining about. Then for when the first snowflake falls and we keep hoping for it to stick on the ground. Being here for Valentines day and getting something cute and little from my parents.Like last year after sledding on that day, we came back there was a chocolate fountain. Going on Spring Break to Destin. Gosh their has only been one year we didn't go and that was when my grandpa died. We always go and I probably don't know when the next time I will be there. Always being excited during Spring and always rolling down my windows at the start, not caring if it was chilly. Just enjoying the first rays of sunlight. Don't get me wrong, I'm fully excited and cannot wait to start class and meet knew people, even though that part scares me too. I mean what could be better to live in New York??? That part couldn't have come sooner, but once again the transition period and leaving.... Okay some of this stuff stupid yes, majority of it will be in New York, but its all new and different. I am just going to miss everything. Leaving this place, means it really is over for high school and my childhood on Grosse Ile. When I leave it really means that me and my hometown friends are separating. Yes now Jordan and Steve are gone, but now it just feels like they're on vacation or something and I'm just home. But when I leave it means that they are really moving on with their lives and I want everything to be back to normal. Current Mood: sad (Comment on this)
artsandmusic45	1:53a	So it's official..Exactly now I leave in a week. Wow. I am terrified, absolutely scared out of my mind. You'd think after this long wait I'd be less nervous, but it just made the feelings stronger, not weaker. I'm anxious that 1. I won't finish packing everything and get all of my tasks done in time and 2. Nothing will fit in my dorm room. No I'm completely serious when I say I have way too much stuff to bring to school. Clothes, all a necessity, I actually cut it down several times, downsizing as much as possible. And the funny thing is that I really don't think that normal college students had to buy ALL of this crap. Gosh who needs a dorm room, I should just get an apartament, because that is the only place all of the piles and piles of living items will fit. Now you understand why I'm STILL packing. Boxes and boxes of clothes, dance clothes, shoes, bedding, toiletries, storage containers, oh and did I mention FOOD TOO. Seriously this getting to be too stressful and I'm not even at school yet. And even talking about school, my stomach does those little flips. Placement, I'm terrified because a. Haven't really prepared and b. They weren't very specific on the details. And yes we all have made friends on facebook, well the students I mean, but what if they don't like me. Or that the friends I thought I made, are swept up by someone much better than me? I don't know why I keep freaking out, but its so soon and so scary. And I am so excited don't get me wrong, but the thought of failing pops into my head. I just keep seeing the image of messing all of this up. I want it so bad, I want all of this to work out and be so great. Before it seemed great talking to all of these students but now I'm terrified of making a first impression and not becoming great friends. But I know I can do it. I have to believe I can do it. But I'm scared. And I'm afraid of being homesick. Yet I want to get out of here so badly. Ironic huh? (Comment on this)
Saturday, October 4th, 2008
artsandmusic45	4:11a	Those you've known.. Well I actually had a very productive day. No only did I make an entire dinner for my family from scratch, I also got things ready for school and saw my friends who I missed very dearly. As far as being prepared for move in day and school, not a fat chance. I took every single think I boxed up and bought for school, in our living room. Lets just say there is not a lot of room to move. Thankfully I still have the condensing process for all of these items. But who knows how long that'll take. Microwave, pots and pans, plates, bowls, shoes, shirts, toiletries, hangers, hampers, the list goes on and on. So the best part was that these friends visited out of the blue and thats what made the time bittersweet. We laughed, made fun of others, and even got angry. It was the thing I've been needing for weeks. And the best part is that even though I've changed, its still the same. Just like old times and thats why now its even harder to say goodbye. I'm ready for school really, ready for a routine and ready to take classes in subjects that matter. But I kind of wish I were still back in high school. Where things were less complicated, less responsibilities, less fear of the future. Now that its college time, I feel like trying to make it and start my career is pressing harder on my shoulders. But enoguh about old dreary things, I was very happy to see my friends and talk about the High School Play, that made it pretty official, that I wasn't included in high school things anymore. No more auditions or Kiersey kisses or drama about rehearsal or a certain person not doing well, or just doing a show with GI in general. It seems different but the same, same old drama, a few more new people. Here I am being reminiscent. I seem to be doing that a lot lately. Like all of these memories start flooding back as I pack away a certain picture or a note, long ago written during some class both of us weren't enjoying. Its good to move on but its always great to think of fun times and actually still remember them like it was just the other day. Like I saw a movie on t.v. that I remember years and years ago seeing with my best friend. Or seeing my sister getting ready for her first homecoming made me think of the not so great awkward times of freshmen year. The weird part is that she tried on her dress and I actually started getting teary..maybe because I wish it was me or more that she is growing up. Which I realized years ago but now that shes being nicer and out of that mean teenage phase, it kind of sunk in. Only problem is letting go of the parents, I can already tell that the separation between me and my parents won't be an easy one. But its not like we were that close, most of the time couldn't stand each other but tolerable and close when we needed to be. But its going to be weird, off on my own, more adult than a student, only difference is that all of this work I'll be doing, no pay. But the main thing that bugs ME the most, is that....this is the first Thanksgiving I won't be able to spend with my family. I won't be there at my grandma's house eating her famous meal. Before I just thought of it as a way to get work off and eat a ton of food. But it was tradition, OUR tradition, now not annual for me. Yes I seem nostalgic and sad, but I guess its the start of a great thing. Something new and exciting. A new chapter, ready to write in. So I guess its all for the better, getting older, discovering yourself, becoming the new you. Current Mood: nostalgic Current Music: Over Thinking-Relient K (Comment on this)
Friday, October 3rd, 2008
artsandmusic45	12:55p	21 people in my life I was so incredibly bored and my new roomate did this survey, so I thought I'd give it a shot. write down the names of 21 people that come to your mind and then answer the questions...if you dont know at least guess...after all that tag you 21 friends and tell them to do the same 1. Jordan Raithel 2. Megan Magee 3. Kera Sparks 4. My dad 5. Brooke Upholzer 6.Colleen Curran 7. Dave Cowan 8. Adriane Galea 9. Zach Angileri 10. Sean Omaits 11. Steve Sencey 12. Teresa Dentico 13. Zack Arp-Barnett 14. Danny Tamsen 15. Lara Semetko 16. Lisa Semetko 17. Carolyn Trela 18. Jacque Fenton 19. Frank Baxter 20. Mary Ann DeJoseph 21. Melody McCune Questions: • How did you meet 17? Well we met during High School Musical and started the infamous Fab 11!! Even though its over, it's legacy will live on forever. haha • What would you do if you never met 5? I would die. She's my adopted daughter, gang sister and best friend. She is amazing and my life would be nothing without her! • what would you do if 20 and 11 dated? Steve and Mary Ann hmmm I havve no idea. It would be different considering her doesn't know her. • Have you ever seen 7 cry? Hmm have I ever seen Dave cry?? Well since I've known him like forever, I think I have. Probably in a play or at church, who knows where? • Would 13 and 16 make a good couple? Zack and Lisa, haha Lisa would devour Zack....it would definitely be opposites attract. Not to mention I think Zack is slightly afraid of Lisa. • Would 14 and 6 make a good couple? Danny and Curran. BAHAHA Well considering they are like family, that would be the most awkward couple I'd ever see. And I'm still convinced that they are related. Even though they claim they're not. • Describe 9: Zach, he's a ball of fun. Very talented in karate and acting. I think every show hes in, he makes it come to life. He always bring something to his characters and its always a stitch!! I'm so glad he got in our class because I got to spend another year with him!! Senior year wouldn't have been the same!! • Do you think 21 is attractive? Well I haven't formally met Melody yet, soon. But she seems very pretty in her photos. • What's 15's favourite colour Lara's fav color, for some odd reason I really want to say pink, Maybe because I'm thinking of her cute prom dress. And her glitter and be gay dress, that will always be a classic in my mind. She always has cute clothes, and most of them are pink, I think. • When was the last time you talked to 19? Frank I just talked to now. I think I talked to him everyday. He's like my bffaeaeae, haha No he's a great friend I can talk to him for like hours. And I'm very grateful for him, because he's a good friend and is caring. • What language does 15 speak? Wait does it have to be a real language?? Well I think Lara speaks music, and german, and theatre. Its like in her blood, she lives and breathes and well speaks it. I think if you asked her anything about those three she could tell you. • Who is going out with 3? My sister?? Uhh definitely no one. Unless she isn't telling me anything. Or shes dating Drew, according to every single person who knows what I am talking about, hahaa People are convinced they are together, I always get a kick out of that. • What grade is 6 in? Well Curran isn't in a grade but I know she is getting her masters...or shes back to Central....I'm not really sure, But truthfully she is a senior at heart. She just like one of her students, because shes so cool. • What is 4’s fave music? My dad now keep in mind I chose him because he walked in the room.....I think he likes Oldies, because you know hes old. And almost every Sunday or Saturday I catch him listening to the radio "Over Easy" something like that. haha • Would you ever date 7? Would I ever date Dave??? Bahaha Its a love hate relationship. I think I hate him most of the time, but sometimes he's a good friend. it feels like forever I've known him, kind of like a brother. • Would you ever date 2? Would I ever date Megan. Oh my new roomie. lol Shes a great gal but I don't swing that way. haha No I'm super excited to room with her at school, shes soo sweet and its going to be a blast. I absolutely cannot wait. • Where does 8 live? Adriane lives in Allen Park I think, for a little while I thought she was going to move downtown, because of school. But man that girl is bussyyy, I give her props for all the things she does. • What is the best thing about 14? Whats best about Danny?? EVERYTHING!! Danny is awesome, hes so funny and I can't imagine not knowing him. Prolly his knowledge of almost everything musical, or that he loves Julie Andrews, or his sense of humor, or that for some odd reason I remember the first time kind of meeting him when he was a freshman and I STILL have that photo from homecoming. Or how at my senior hc we were focused in the pictures to dance down the steps instead and just stand and smile. haha I love danny! I MISS HIM! • What would you like to tell 10 right now? What would I tell Sean?? Hmmmm I think that he needs to cut down his swearing...haha He knows it, me and jordan are always reminding him to stop. SEAN STOP CUSSING IF YOU ARE READING THIS...haha jk lol • What is the best thing about 20? Mary Ann, well I don't know a lot about her, but I can tell she has a spunky personality and a very likable person. Oh and that shes seen more shows that I can imagine. • Have you ever kissed 5? Brooke, welllll....shes a pretty great kisser, haha I'm kidding No I have not. • How about 12? Teresa....yeah no I haven't But who knows we both are being prostitutes on Saturday so we'll seen then. ahaha jk • When's the next time you're gonna see 14? Next weekend at Homecoming, I'm so excited!!! • Is 12 pretty? Teresa is gorgeous dahhlliinggg, plus she is very good with hair and makeup, I can atest to it. • What was your first impression of 5? Brooke first time I met her, I think I was jealous, because she was so freaking adorable, How could you not love Brooke, shes so cute!! It was in Glee Class and in the soprano section, and we would always bug Ryan and MAARRIIOO, Oh wow I totally forgot about that. • How did you meet 13? I met Zack....huh how did I meet Zack. I think it was through Whitney and Stuk, or Glee, maybe the first time I really met him was when he played my Gremio in Kiss Me Kate, oh the good ole times. • Have you seen 8 in the last month Yes I last saw her at Dave's housewarming party and we were laughing at the funny drunk people around. oh we cannot forget that one dude cussing out gumbi. haha Oh Adriane the times we have had. ( With drunk people) [Tracey in Troy, Tracey in Toronto, Rick I cannot remember when, Louise wow competition is full of drunks...hahahajkjkjk] • When was the last time you saw 6? At the Band performance thing out in Belleville, just a quick hello to Curran she was busy with the color guard. • Have you been to 21’s house No I have not, but she is closer to me than the rest of the students at AMDA. • Whens the next time you'll see 10? Saturday at Rocky Horror, and me and teresa are going to dress him up and put make up on. And we will do it even if we have to force him! lol • Are you really close to 16? Lisa, umm we kinda, not totally, truthfully Lisa sometimes scares me, shes very intimidating and she always can make fun of me and I won't be insulted because thats Lisa. lol • Have you been to the movies w. 14? Yes I have but I have no idea which ones we've seen recently. OH WAIT PROM NIGHT!! And I didn't really pay attention to the movie. • Have you gotten in trouble w. 18? haha Probably, I think we've gotten in trouble talking backstage or being yelled at in Sound of Music, It was probably in SOM we got yelled at alot in the musical. • Describe the relationship between 2 & 9? Zach and Megan....well they don't know each other, so thats a pretty empty relationship. • What's the best thing about your friendship w. 3? My sister, love her to death but want to kill her at times. Shes my bff and we tell each other everything...almost. Except the bad part is if the person slips it to the parents. * cough cough my partying habits*** • Whats the worst thing about 5? Ummm nothing...thats mean and my mind is blank.... • Have you ever danced with 1? Oh my goodness yes, me and jordan have danced I don't know how many times. We even have our really funny awkward dance move that we made at homecoming. haha The looks on peoples faces when we did that move. priceless. I have no idea how we came up with that move and why we do it. we are strange people when we're together... • How long have you known 20? A couple months I think, we met through school online. • Have you ever been in a fight w. 2? No and I never want to have one!! We will be the two roomates who never get on each others nerves!! haha Right Megan??? • Does 1 have a bf/gf? Who knows, now that shes at college its harder to follow her love life. I'm just kidding Love you Jordan!! Haha I would know if she had one, we tell each other everything that happens in our lives. • Have you ever punched 12 in the face? No if I did Teresa could kick my butt. She could take me. • Has 11 met your mother? Yes Steve has met my mom, and sometimes he sides with her. And thus I lose the fight, I can't remember what it has been about but I know its my mom reminding me something and Steve says something like " Yeah listen to your mom" I usually want to slap him then. lol haha • Have you ever physically hurt 3? Yes definnitely but most of the times it turns into a fight and I lose. My sister really could take me, her punches her baaddd. Shes much stronger than I, lately I don't tango with her. • Do you live close to 17? I live like 30 minutes from her, every time I'd be visiting my grandma I'd be like oh there's carolyn!! • Whats 18s fave food? Jacque's fav food?? hmmm well I do know that she'd always steal my tootsie rolls in Catholic School Girls, haha we were always eating them, I'm surprised we have enough for the show. • If you could change one thing about 10, what would it be? Change sean? Umm the cursing again, I don't know it just bugs me. And I can't think of any other quality thats bad with him. • What kind of car does 11 have? Well he used to have a huge truck but then he got a little truck that has a sweet radio, I'm always fascinated by it in the car. Well he isn't using a car now, in florida. Lucky SOB in the sunshine. lol jk • Have you traveled anywhere w. 8? Yes many places actually, Cinncinati, Toronto, Troy, Clevland, well technically Cinncinati is the only time we stayed together but the rest count, we've been to nationals to many times. And too many memories. • If you gave 7 $100, what would they spend it on? I have no idea what Dave would spend it on. Umm cigars no.....a guitar, no that definitely would not buy a whole one.......umm probably now something on his new apartament which really needs paint now, so if I gave it now, paint. Thats what I see. • What is your best memory of 2? Ummm well we've only met once, so at the auditions and it was me her and frank in the room waiting to go in for our auditions. And lets just say that was a day to remember. It kind of started two good and I know are going to be great friendships. Oh and I know I'll have more memories to come!! OCTOBER 15TH!!!! • Out of the top 21 who is the funniest? That is so not fair, almost all of these people make me laugh. Prolly Jordan. Or Teresa, or Zack or Danny, or Steve or Sean or Zach or Dave, seriously I can't choose. • Who is the most flirty? Ha Jordan...but she would prolly say the same about me. No she has a great personality, but she is the better one with guys I will add that. • Who lives the farthest away? Well right now its Steve, he is in Florida so that tops all, but normally it would be Megan whos in Pennslyvania or Frank who is in Iowa. Or Mary Ann whos in NY. See I don't know the distances from my house to there. (Comment on this)