AMA - Off Topic - Relationships and Cheating


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AMA - now with 10 fewer fuckwits Set by TMA at 2010-01-11 23:37:37

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	Relationships and Cheating Posted by so_cra_tes at 2009-11-02 00:41:00 Comments: 5 Tags:	Reply
Here's the situation: Yesterday I cheated on my girlfriend. Yes I was drunk, but only the first time. I did it again later, after I sobered up. It was a girl I knew and liked, we've had many conversations and flirted. She knew I had a girlfriend. She likes me and was actively persuing me even though she knew I was not available. We danced at a party, I saw her home, and then we ended up kissing and she invited me in. Here comes the hate mail and the telling me I'm a total jerk. I already feel that, and if you want to tell me, great. But what I'm really looking for is answers. I love my girlfriend. We've been together for over a year, and most of the time we get along great. She's a bit inflexible at times, and has some anger issues, but nothing that makes me think break up. I like her, I have future plans with her, and I don't want to break up with her. So why did I do it? Why was I looking for it? Why is it that even now, I wonder if I regret it? I'm smart enough to know I shouldn't do it and that I would hurt both of them by this, but I did it anyway. That is very much out of character for me. What happened? Any perspectives are welcome. Not looking for sympathy or forgiveness, just want some answers.

	Duane ( hobo_bebop)	GMT: 2009-11-01 23:47:32
	Something very nice.
What happened? You wanted to have sex with someone you liked and were attracted to, so you did. What else are you looking for in the way of an answer?
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	Wendybird ( shinywen)	GMT: 2009-11-01 23:50:39
	If you can't handle me at my worst, you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.
~~Um weird. When I looked at this a moment ago, there were 3 comments. Now there are none.~~ Nm. I see you posted it to both comms. You really need to answer your first question yourself-- what were you looking for. None of us know you or your relationship well enough to be able to make even an educated guess on that. If you're wondering if you regret it, you probably don't, but feel that you should. I dunno. There's a lot to say here, and most of it would be hypothetical and may not even pertain to you. I suggest you evaluate what exactly makes you happy about your relationship, and what makes you unhappy or bored. That would be a good starting point to figuring all this out. Also keep in mind, a great many people believe that humans are not hard-wired for monogamy. It may just be in our nature to explore other options sometimes. Edited at 2009-11-01 11:52 pm (UTC)
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	Cherise ( iisz)	GMT: 2009-11-02 00:27:33
	00000000
Why did you post this here and AMA proper?
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	so_cra_tes	GMT: 2009-11-02 00:28:30

I wasn't sure if it was supposed to be here or there.
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	Duane ( hobo_bebop)	GMT: 2009-11-02 01:00:34
	Something very nice.
"I knew that I had a 50-50 shot of getting it right, but I really wanted a 100% chance of getting it wrong"? For future reference, if it's a question, and not completely stupid, AMA proper is just fine.
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