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Almost famous Movie Community
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| The Ledge |
[11 Oct 2008|08:44pm] |
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music |
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"Walk a Thin Line" - Fleetwood Mac |
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Countin' on my fingers
Countin' on my toes
Slippin' thru your fingers
Watchin' how it grows
You can love me baby but you can't walk out
Someone oughta tell you what it's really all about
Do you ever wonder?
Do you ever hate?
Six feet under-
Someone who can wait
You're never gonna make it baby
Oohh you're never gonna make it baby
Buy another fixture
Tell another lie
Paint another picture
See who's surprised
You can love me baby but you can't walk out
Someone oughta tell you what it's really all about
You're never gonna make it baby
Oohh you're never gonna make it baby
Oohh you're never gonna
Make it babe
Make it babe
Make it baby…
You don't honestly expect me to swallow this do you?...
Not two days ago you were sayin you missed me...
Do ya really think he's gonna like ya as much as I did?...
Doubt it... haha
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| a note to someone who I wish would just go away |
[11 Oct 2008|11:01am] |
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Love is wonderful, isn't it? We can claim that it changes us and makes us stronger and better. We can claim that it brings our better selves out of the woodwork, and makes it easier to tell the truth. We can claim that nothing before, since, or in the future will be as good for us, as heartening, as brilliant and mind clearing as love. Well, guess what, sometimes all love is is a way to hide behind something again. A way to claim we've healed and moved on. There is no love in this world that is going to make you a better person, a truthful person.
And trust me, (that's something you can do with someone who's not into lying), I have tried and tried and tried to find a way to figure out why someone would do what you did. Cause, you see, it wasn't just a few lies here and there, no no no, it was a consistent, diabolical course of lies that lasted for TWO YEARS! That fucked with my life and broke me. It turned me into someone that I am STILL trying to claw my way out of being, cause I hate the person I was when you were around, when I allowed you to suck the beauty and hope and ambition and sanity out of me. This more explains what you are, then someone who can be "healed by love".
By now, though, I've given up caring what you say, what you think I need to think of you, and what you want to do to heal the situation. I tried to do that on Feb. 18, 2007. Here's the thing, I don't have to forgive you. At some point down the line, I might forget about it (kind of hard to do, really, when what you did had so many open ended, non-closure-filled issues in it by the time I walked away, and there are certain aspects it seems like will NEVER be out of my face), and I might find it a less milestone heartbreak of an experience in my life (I'm sure bigger and smaller things will happen that will make your blip of a dot of assholeness on my radar shrink), and I might even quit calling you someone who can't understand normal thinking, but that doesn't have to be today, or even soon. And even if I were to forgive you, I don't want a relationship with you. You are dead to me. And I really wish you'd quit trying to resurrect yourself. Every time you do, it only makes me believe more that you don't realize the amount of damage you did, and that pisses me off infinitely. Besides, every time you try to justify what you did, you only insult me more.
For the record, I have forgiven the one person I feel necessary to forgive in all of this. The person whom I hold accountable for letting it happen, for enabling your psychotic ways, for not seeing sooner that there really is a lot of looney in you. Crazy aint the same as insane, child, and you're insane. You can't fix insane, just like you can't fix stupid. Oh, and that person I've forgiven? MYSELF. ME. And I am so alive and happy and full of love and friendship and joy and amazing moments. I have an outlook that will carry me through life and keep making me a person like no other. I'm happy. I don't care how you are.
That's all I'm going to say for now. You know what? That's all I'm going to say in your general direction ever. It's done. It's over. Whisper words of wisdom, LET IT BE.
To finish my diatribe, I will now quote two men I adore,
( First, Ken Block )and also, Larry Mullen, Jr.'s favorite phrase.
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| from small things big things one day come |
[10 Oct 2008|06:16pm] |
Please, don't ever think my life's all butterflies and moonbeams. I just ..there is a LOT I don't share in here, believe you me. I'm sure those of you rooting against me are thrilled I got fired. Today I had to go in there to pick up my paycheque and it just irked me. Anna smoked a cigarette with me and said she wouldn't have fired me, she thought I was better than a waitress they kept on, who I'll call Amy. But she also kept saying stuff like what to do when I go to get a new job. "Don't wear jeans. Don't wear your hair like that. That's too much eye makeup." I wouldn't wear jeans. I was just coming from school, like I give a shit how I look to pick up my last paycheque?
I just felt like everyone there was like looking at me with pity. Maureen did give me the name of a deli where she said she knows the owner and she said to go there and drop her name. I dunno.
It just really bothered me. They have this new bus/dish person I saw..and he's basically a tranny or something. He was far past flamboyantly gay. I'm almost sure he was wearing makeup and had long dreadlocks with pink in them. So. They're downsizing but can hire a flamboyant bus/dish person? And then to add insult to injury, they were talking about pay or tips or something and Jerry was like "Renee didn't get her tips".
There was no Renee when I worked there.
So they clearly hired some new fucking waitress.
I don't fucking know what I did wrong.
I'm fucking angry.
Assholes.
I've just been sitting here listening to Bruce Springsteen. There's shit going on.......things aren't all rosy. I'm fighting with a good friend and they aren't getting along with my boyfriend and I don't see how that's ever going to resolve.
And my relationship..it's mostly wonderful but when we fight, we fight really hardcore.
And I just get afraid he wants to give up on us.
Whatever.
I don't even remember what I wanted to write.
I hate this.
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| Meme |
[10 Oct 2008|03:38pm] |
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 cheerful |
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music |
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Ghosts of Gettysburg!!! |
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The actions of all of these people are quite typical, if I do say so myself.
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| come with your arms raised high |
[12 Oct 2008|02:11am] |
Here's a really annoying list with no links, however, all these things exist!
1. Ryan Ross supporting Obama!
2. A website dedicated to pictures of Obama holding babies called "Yes We Can (Hold Babies)!"
3. Reviews of Rock Band Live Tour Meet and Greets and shows!
4. Panic on Carson.
5. New episodes of every show ever! New Grey's! New Office! New Upper East Side!
This list was brought to you by the crew internet cafe's computers having no right click feature.
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[10 Oct 2008|09:21am] |
today we go to orlando!
ive never really been on a road trip with Melissa- the furthest i think we've gone is Miami. It should be awesome!
I'm waiting for her to stop showering so i can start- we leave here at 1030. I am super nervous about the posibility of me having to drive the rental car.. I'm not driving up there- but any other time, i might have to drive. and it scares me! I'm sure once i see the car i'm going to WANT to drive it, but right now im all nerves.
We will probably get there too early to check in, so we will have SONIC for lunch! We are aiming for happy hour. lol. It will by my first actual meal at the place.
No idea what we're doing after that, but i packed a nice outfit just in case
IM EXCITED
hope everyone has a great weekend!
bec
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[09 Oct 2008|11:57pm] |
I have so many thoughts but rarely can I put them into any sort of cohesive (coherent? difference=?) format.
I just decided I'd like to be listening to music whilst sitting at Ray's computer, so I took the liberty of downloading a few songs. Today's selections:
Elvis Presley: "Treat Me Nice", "Didja Ever"
Bruce Springsteen: "Trapped", "My Father's House", "If I Should Fall Behind", "I'm Going Down", "Nebraska", "One Step Up", "Tougher Than The Rest", "Reason To Believe"
Theme from Miller's Crossing (Ray's obsessed with it, I never really saw the movie.)
Bob Dylan: "Shelter From the Storm", "Jokerman", "Make You Feel My Love", "Things Have Changed"
And I'm trying to find this song by Flipper that I heard in American Hardcore but all that's coming up is some presumably German band, die Flippers. DAMMIT.
This is something I do every so often. Talk about the most romantic songs/movies/books whatever. I've mentioned numerous times that I love love love "All I Want Is You", I think it's perfect. But, I've resigned myself to the fact that Ray is not a U2 fan. He is, however, a Dylan fan and a Springsteen fan. So, I'm thinking maybe at the wedding (not that I am getting married, but I hope to one day) we could use "Make You Feel My Love" or "If I Should Fall Behind".
"when the rain is blowing in your face
and the whole world is on your case
i could offer you a warm embrace
to make you feel my love
when the evening shadows and the stars appear
and there is no one there to dry your tears
i could hold you for a million years
to make you feel my love...
i'd go hungry, I'd go black and blue
i'd go crawling down the avenue
there's nothing that i wouldn't do
to make you feel my love"
"we said we'd walk together baby come what may
that come the twilight should we lose our way
if as we're walkin a hand should slip free
i'll wait for you
and should fall behind
wait for me...
now everyone dreams of a love lasting and true
but you and i know what this world can do
so let's make our steps clear that the other may see
and i'll wait for you
if i should fall behind
wait for me."
Blahhhh.
I am trying to be positive.
Things to Look Forward To:
*Focus group Monday=money
*J. Laws's party
*Elaine's party
*Halloween
I don't know. I just feel down. Like..just blah. I guess I'll try to busy myself in things I have to do.
Right now I am going to go buy salad for dinner. Yes, at 1 am. Then we'll eat and watch television or a movie. Then read and go to bed. Tomorrow I have school. Then pick up my last pay from Steinman's, get a brisket melt, go home and eat it and sleep. Oh but I have to fax my dad this summons I got. And call my school counselor.
Remind me I have a Planned Parenthood appt October 23 at 2.
Ugh.
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| :) |
[10 Oct 2008|03:39am] |
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Lynz
xxx
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| Meta-haiku |
[10 Oct 2008|12:06am] |
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If I just can't draw now
But I want to learn and get to make paintings
I could never be jealous of the one who draws comics in his free time.
I'm learning.
I'm holding onto my learning.
I am getting a wider than large perspective.
But you never heard of such great things gained without sacrifice, if you?
I know that eventually, it will all have been worth it.
I'm starting already to see the light
But I know I'm not free enough to see through it yet.
That day I'll probably be really happy, and really aware in order to take it all in.
I'm breeding my patience along with what will be a new me once all the things gathered will make sense, and I will have learnt how to move onto my next life.
I will grow past my own self.
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| Work Updatedness... |
[09 Oct 2008|02:37pm] |
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There is an ongoing rubber band war taking place in my office. I don't participate (only because my aim sucks and I usually end up hitting myself instead of anyone else), but it is entertaining to watch.
We're supposed to be taking on some new work from aircell and panasonic. We're revising a mod that we did for airforce one. It's kind of interesting to be a part of that.
I spend about 7 1/2 hrs out of my 8 hr work day pretending to work, while secretly surfing the internet/doing school work. Every time I explain this (what I do for a living) to my friends, they're like "OMG I wish I had that job!" No sir you don't. Do you know how amazingly boring staring at a computer screen with nothing at all to do and counting seconds to pass your day can be? Well take my word, it's 'cut your wrist boring'. I would really love to have a job with a goal and a purpose. Something that makes me feel fullfilled and a little meaningful.
+ I wish my desk didnt face the wall. I hate that everyone can see what I'm doing. That makes hiding the internet very very hard.
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| Stereotypes might help surviving, but just if you don't forget there are exceptions. |
[09 Oct 2008|10:41am] |
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Queen - Don't Stop me Now |
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He said I think it's time y'all got busy with your personal story lines. but I am surprised if I am the only one realizing HOW it means something, you know... if someone cares so much to understand, and spend time and energy about something. It's the fact he's somehow assuming no one has integrated their interest for his band (Travis) in one's own life, but ( can this really be taken for granted? )
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| Ode to J. Smith, Song to Self, and other babblings about suicide and survival |
[09 Oct 2008|07:55am] |
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Travis - Song To Self | Scrobbled by Last.fm |
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I officially want a shirt that says ( I survived the 8th of October 2008 )
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| Don't you scream she said as he feels the blood spread |
[08 Oct 2008|10:46pm] |
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I don't even know where to begin.
Mike declared my video card dead..yay.. which means I need another new one...yay..like I have the money.
My mother has been in town for a week which ya know always gets me a little "AHHHHH!"
Roommate drama that is still up in the air. I don't know what's gonna happen. I'm mother fucking switzerland.
Aaron came over to give me a cd.. still have a huge crush one him.. still utterly confused by him. I highly doubt anything will ever happen with him, but arg..he's one of those people that in my eyes is like the most awesome and sexy person I could ever hope to meet. Makes me wish I could be some where in his league...I mean yeah we can be friends..and I could probably sleep with him..but that's not what I want at all. Oh well.
oh and he has excellent taste in music.
I don't wanna see your blood on my hands
but I do, I do, yes I do
I don't wanna hear your scream all night
but I do, I do, yes I do, yes I do
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| there ain't much cover |
[09 Oct 2008|12:55am] |
I am really fucking stressed. No matter what I do I cannot make everyone happy and it's driving me crazy. People want too much from me. I just don't have that much to give. I can't keep everyone satisfied. I'm barely keeping myself together.
I have a focus group Monday. I hope I can get from Arcadia to Bala Cynwyd within an hour and a half..if rush hour fucks this up for me I will kill someone.
I just feel stretched too thin. Life's not going the way I want.
I started The Secret Life of Bees. I like it so far.
It's been really cold at night but way too hot in the day to put the heat on. Sucks. Fans mostly help though. And comforters.
There's so much I want to do that I don't know if I ever will. It's depressing to think about. I feel like all the so-called adults I've ever known, I mean I am sure, I KNOW, that life didn't turn out for them like they thought it was when they were kids. You grow up sheltered, your parents taking care of everything, and then you're suddenly on your own and life's not so peachy. You don't have a safety net and you have to try to make something of yourself on your own and I don't blame anyone if they can't. I don't see how I ever can. I need a support system. I've always had one. In elementary school I could play sick and stay home and even when I had to go to school I had the comfort of how happy I was when I got home from terrible school and could be with my parents. In middle school I started seeing the school counselor who would rescue me if I fucked up in a class or was absent a lot. In high school I had sped classes instead of having to try to wade through the real hard work, and then I had Anderson, where it really was like being coddled. I NEEDED emotional support and it really did help me to be able to talk to so meone whenever I felt crazy. Even at Arcadia, my counselor has gotten me out of some jams.
But real life isn't like that, as I'm finding out. There are no counselors who will tell the people bugging you to back off, you're a mess, you need special consideration, there are extenuating circumstances. I believe my credit is ruined because of overdraft fees from Bank of America, from a psychologist's office I didn't realize I owed money to til it was too late, from $500 copay I never could pay for rehab, from traffic tickets.. I have no health insurance, never have any gas, no job. I'm barely in school and have no clue when I'll graduate or how I'll afford continuing going to school since I wasn't full time last semester cos I fucked up that class so my financial aid is fucked up. I feel like what's the point? My parents went to school and got degrees but they're still barely getting by and they're not really happy people. Some of the best people I ever met..Nicolai, Beatrice, Jessi..are all dead. "the hardness of this world slowly grinds your dreams away". I say things like this a lot maybe. I don't care it's my journal. But like I just feel like the odds are stacked against you, me, everyone, so much. It's so hard to ever be financially comfortable, and actually emotionally normal and happy. Even if there are satisfied, happy people..for every one of them there are a billion people who are miserable and can't understand what happened to make them end up like they are. I just know I'm going to end up one of those people. Depression runs in my family. I've been coddled my whole life and I feel raw. The real world is too much for me. I'll never be able to stand on my own two feet. I know I'm always going to be running back to my parents. It's so hard for anyone, especially a mess like me. I don't know what to do. Where is this unshakeable faith that things will turn out okay supposed to come from?
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[08 Oct 2008|04:28pm] |
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And here we go....
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| come on, seriously. |
[08 Oct 2008|04:57pm] |
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Is it wrong that I really really really get annoyed when people just reach over my desk and "borrow" a pen or stapler or scissors from the holder to my right? the holder that's on my side of this little world, by the printer, far enough towards me that it infringes on my space when they creep their hand over here and grab something.
sorry. pet peeve of the day there.
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| you haven't heard the best yet. |
[09 Oct 2008|04:21pm] |
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Can someone order me this shirt? It would kinda make my whole life, since I cancelled my credit card.
And so, I'm confused. Did Pete write a book or not? I have no internet time with which to research this. Anyone wanna give me the run down?
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| Anniversary, Happy? |
[08 Oct 2008|10:10am] |
The 8th of october was a Monday last year.
It was my first day at MTV in London.
The 8th of October is a Wdnesday this year.
Tonight Travis are playing the Astoria, and I'll be out with Giada.
It's not pride, it's holding onto my word.
Too much adrenaline and things have going on, but so far, 365 days later I can still say that London is like nothing I've seen or tried before.
and if you're wondering... yeah... I'm still in love.
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| quick update... |
[08 Oct 2008|11:38am] |
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"Shut Up And Let Me Go" - The Ting Tings |
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Ok, I've been really bad at this lately... there's been a few reasons for this... mainly the fact that Jane is back home now, and I'm getting sick of pouring out my heart for the entire web to see... eh, how not on is that?!
So yeah, Back to college now... finding it tough, but great!... decided to go with the whole semiotics and Hieroglyphs idea and see where it leads me... I've got a few exciting ideas I'm working on for it... mainly video surprisingly... who'd have thought it?!... anyways, I'll keep ya posted should ya wish...
Started my new job there last night... I'm actually loving it... it is the handiest job ever... I basically get paid to go to the theatre and watch shows... all of the people I'm working with are lovely, including the manager, who I think I may be in love with... one or two are gay aswell, so it's all good... It's so nice to be working with people my own age for once... I'm really excited about it...
Relationship front- passed the two week mark, so we all know what that means... just playin it by ear from now... ah well... we'll see... don't really have the time anyways... plus, i think i'm a bit of a relationship sadist... part of me wills them to go wrong...
Class rep stuff is kinda gettin me down... I was two steps away from a nervous breakdown there at the weekend... tried to resign, but the class wouldn't let me... despite my best Eva Peron-esque pleas...
Talk to y'all soon!
xx
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[08 Oct 2008|03:50am] |
Dear American Airlines is excellent. The main character reminds me a bit of a Roth character. It's just great and I can't put it down. I read over 100 pages today. I love reading. I have a bunch of overdue library books:(..well only two overdue..and still like 3 to read within like 2 weeks but that won't be a problem. One of my very favourite times of every day is when after we've watched Blind Date and Extreme Dating, we go upstairs and before bed, we just lie in bed and quietly read, every so often turning to each other to say sweet nothings, haha. But it's so cool that we just can read, each in like our own little world. Of course I am reading fluff, sort of, and Ray is reading classics by W. Somerset Maugham..psh.
The Graduate was on today. I only saw it once and I guess I just didn't really get the appeal. It seemed to be like striving for some grand ..meaning, I mean everyone says it represents a generation but I just never..I don't know. It's entertaining I spose. I just can't really see Dustin Hoffman as anyone other than Raymond Babbit. But I mean I just don't get the point of The Graduate so much maybe. What's it going for? I guess it's a good ending maybe.
Um for hours I've had Air Supply in my head. Very annoying.
I want to go to a bunch of haunted houses!
I just went grocery shopping. I bought groceries instead of pants. But yknow. I mean my mom can sew my pants (again). We were out of toilet paper and cat litter and milk and had nothing for dinner. I mean it's a pretty sweet arrangement. I sleep here every night, we're only really apart when I am in school, Ray's in school, or Ray's working..and Ray pays all the bills, it's his house, I don't pay rent or anything. I don't even technically live here, which is good I mean I'm not really ready to move out of my mom's house. But I spend most of my time here, and all I'm responsible for is groceries. I don't have to pay rent, electricity, cable, gas, anything. I mean Ray doesn't ask me to buy groceries. It's just the least I can do. I used to just get groceries after work with my tip money. Now I'm just depending on my parents which is dumb because neither is swimming in money. I still don't know exactly when my mom's putting the house up for sale. We're still waiting on a miracle I think. But like she hasnt had a CENT to her name. We were able to all have a nice dinner Sunday because Jackson bought the food. And he bought food for our cats. My mom has no cash at all until she gets paid Friday. We're all looking for jobs/better jobs. It just sucks. I mean I'm kind of glad I am here a lot because it's one less mouth for my mom to feed but whenever I am home I always ask her for money and I take home leftovers from whatever we have for dinner. I just can't wait til I find another job. I am really grateful my Patient Assistance thing came through, I mean that's $365 less my mom has to take out of whenever she gets her child support. But like I HATE not having a job. It was okay for the summer but like I just feel like a mooch now. Ray put gas in my car today and I felt bad. But whatever. He's my boyfriend. He helps me out. I'll just feel better once I can contribute again.
I got spam (Spam LITE, is awesome, was on sale 2 for $4..we love, in the early morning weekends, to have spam and pancakes!), spaghetti ($1!), frozen yoghurt, cookies, milk, TP, toothpaste, cat litter, 2 pounds of ground beef, the materials for chili, chicken cutlets and green beans for dinner tonight. I think that's it. So I've got dinner planned out for at least two nights. I mean three counting tonight. Chili tomorrow but I kind of hate eating chili because my mouth tastes all chili-y all night and I feel weird kissing Ray after haha. And then the next night we can have spaghetti with meat sauce. By then it'll be Friday and Mommy will have money so we can get our usual Italian wedding soup from Pudge's (THE BEST, waaay better than Wawa or any canned version). By the way, do not EVER get a cheesesteak from Don Giovanni's. It's this place on Castor Avenue which has good pasta dishes, but do NOT get their sandwiches. We had cheesesteaks and oh my GOD they were like pure salt. Saltiest thing I ever ate I think. Gross.
I had lunch with my dad today at Tir Na Nog. Their burgers are huge. I guess I eat a lot of red meat. But like. I do keep track of approximately how many calories I take in. Like I didn't eat breakfast today, so in my plan, that allotted for the calories consumed at lunch. I've tried to move away from eating really horrible things. We used to have Tastykake pies every night haha..now I buy frozen yoghurt instead. The cookies, too, are reduced-fat, which I know isn't license to eat the whole box, but I don't feel as bad about having a couple. Really I'm not so concerned about what I eat. I generally cook balanced dinners, with a meat, starch, and vegetable, and rarely drink anything but water. I just need an exercise plan, yo. We keep saying we're going to go take a walk all around Pennypack Park but then we sleep all weekend instead haha. I might bring my bike here so I could ride it to the library or whatever but I hate its handlebars. I need new tyres for my mom's bike, I can definitely ride that. I just feel so tired all the time. Even when I get like literally 15 hours of sleep I still can sleep more. I dunno maybe I should see a doctor but I have no insurance. Plus I'm always tired, have been for years.
We might go to the movies tomorrow, since I just have school and then the rest of the night is free. Probably Lakeview Terrace even though it hasn't gotten good reviews because we love Samuel L. I want to see How To Lose Friends and Alienate People but I dunno how Grundy feels about that.
Ray has pointed out that I have a weird sense of humour. I hardly ever find anything funny. Like, as I said, Young Frankenstein. Totally overrated. We watch Conan O'Brien a lot and I never laugh at that. It's just not funny. We've watched It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia a lot too, and though it's entertaining, it never actually makes me laugh. Ditto Seinfeld. The only movies I can remember ever making me laugh out loud are See No Evil Hear No Evil and Waiting for Guffman. Have I said this before? Je m'en fous. I don't know why I don't have a normal sense of humour. I didn't really think This Is Spinal Tap was funny either. I don't know. But like Ray makes me laugh every day. He points out ridiculous things I do, or says funny things. I don't get how he is hilarious but he likes all these movies I don't find funny.
Also did I mention that I watched Under Siege 2 the other night? Ray is still not a Seagal believer but man I LOVE me some him. I LOVE that shit. Listen, you know UFC? Ray loves that shit, and he maintains that any one of those cage fighters or whatever could kick Steven Seagal's ass. Thoughts? STEVEN SEAGAL CAN KICK ANYONE'S ASS. He is a 7th-degree black belt in aikido. He earned belts in aikido, karate, judo, and kendo. Whatever I love him.
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[07 Oct 2008|09:20pm] |
BLAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhh
i feel so fat
i need a detox or a diet pill or maybe some willpower.. lol
kthanks
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| Heroes 3x04 - And I Become Death |
[07 Oct 2008|04:23pm] |
Innanzitutto voglio annunciare a voi, amici miei, che forse la mia adorata zietta mi regalerà ben cento euro in modo che io possa comprare il Nintendo DS. E' il regalo di Natale, solo anticipato! *________* Non avrei resistito un'altra settimana senza quell'affare! xD E come se non bastasse mia madre si è finalmente decisa a ricomprarmi un pc. Quindi in settimana forse ne avrò di nuovo uno tutto mio! <3 Devo smetterla di lamentarmi con i miei: sono davvero una donna fortunata!xD
Comunque ho appena finito di vedere il nuovo episodio di Heroes e, prima di mettermi a studiare, posto il mio commentino! <3
PS: AUGURI IN RITARDO A ZOE! *________* (Glieli ho già fatti di pirsona pirsonalmente, per questo non glieli ho fatti prima anche qui!xD Però c'era questa cosina scacia che ho fatto in due minuti e non sapevo se postarla o meno ma vabbè! <3)
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[07 Oct 2008|06:44am] |
i'll never learn...
SO FRIGGIN TIRED
BLAHRGGGGHHHHHHHHH
I was thinking 'ill just take a nap when i get home' but maybe i should stick it out and nap closer to night time- since i have to come back for a meeting, anyway!
that sounds smartyer
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| I can still feel you even so far away |
[06 Oct 2008|10:16pm] |
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mood |
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drained |
] |
My mom is in town.
My video card is shot.
I have a doctors appointment tomorrow.
I dyed my hair purple and it turned blue.
My dreams make me feel more lonely.
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[06 Oct 2008|11:56pm] |
I CAN NOT BELIEVE HIM! UGH UGH UGH!!! THE NERVE THAT KID HAS!!! HOW DARE HE CALL AFTER THAT. BASTARD!
SIGH.
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[06 Oct 2008|11:52pm] |
My stomachache is a little better I guess. I just hate bleeding I HATE IT. I don't like to sleep with a tampon in but when I don't, I'm afraid I 'll get blood on the sheet. So I just kinda wipe up as much as I can when I pee. It's just gross. And no, I can't wear pads, they don't work with thong underwear :p. I can't wait til this is over.
I wrote a letter to Jessi's parents, I'm going to mail it tomorrow.
School was fine..still reading the Sartre story I read previously.
Some things really make me think about how I'm not really doing what I want to be doing. Like it's stupid but I heard that "The Load Out/Stay" Jackson Browne song and y'know it's all about playing out, life on the road, and I just realized dammit, I want to be a singer so bad. I want people to pay to hear me sing. I want to entertain them and I want them to know my songs and cheer. I just don't know where to start and I feel like I am just putting all that on hold til if I ever get finished school. But I mean I've been meaning to at least get more practise singing in front of people so I can not be as nervous. I keep meaning to do karaoke but like I think it'd just be a bunch of drunk people warbling Journey. Nobody'd really be standing there belting their heart out like I would. It'd be weird I think. And open mics are more for original material which I just don't have and don't know how to start creating.
I really really need new pants. I only have one pair that isn't ripped. The other pair I've had since 2005 and has a big rip in the leg. My shorts have a huge rip in the ass. And I do have another pair of pants but they're way too high-waisted, I only wore them for work.
Baby's eye is not right. It looks like her eyelid is swollen a little, I mean not swollen shut but a little swollen/squinty..and it seems very teary. We do not have the money to take her to the vet. What could be causing this?
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| Pianos and Dublin |
[07 Oct 2008|01:33am] |
People get shocked when I say how, when I was 21, I gathered my things and moved to Dublin, just like that, and ( there I stayed for nearly 2 years. )
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| Stolen from beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeer. |
[06 Oct 2008|05:35pm] |
➜ Bold the ones that are true.
➜ Italicize the ones that are sort of true.
general
ღ I am 5'4 or shorter.
ღ I think I'm ugly.
ღ I have many scars.
ღ I tan easily.
ღ I wish my hair was a different color.
ღ I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.
ღ I have a tattoo.
ღ I am self-conscious about my appearance.
ღ I have/had braces.
ღ I wear glasses.
ღ I'd get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free, scar-free.
ღ I've been told I'm attractive by a complete stranger.
ღ I have had more than two piercings.
ღ I have had piercings in places besides my ears.
ღ I have freckles.
family/home life
ღ I've sworn at my parents.
ღ I've run away from home.
ღ I've been kicked out of the house.
ღ My biological parents are together.
ღ I have a sibling less than one year old.
ღ I want to have kids someday.
ღ I have children.
ღ I've lost a child.
embarrassment
ღ I've slipped out a "lol" in a spoken conversation.
ღ Disney movies still make me cry.
ღ I've snorted while laughing.
ღ I've laughed so hard I've cried.
ღ I've glued my hand to something.
ღ I've laughed till some kind of beverage came out of my nose.
ღ I've had my trousers rip in public.
health
ღ I've had stitches.
ღ I've broken a bone.
ღ I've had my tonsils removed.
ღ I've sat in a doctor's office with a friend.
ღ I've had my wisdom teeth removed.
ღ I've had serious surgery.
ღ I've had chicken pox.
traveling
ღ I've driven over 200 miles (1000km) in one day.
ღ I've been on a plane.
ღ I've been to North America.
ღ I've been to Niagara Falls.
ღ I've been to Japan.
ღ I've been to Europe.
ღ I've been to Africa.
experiences
ღ I've been lost in my city.
ღ I've seen a shooting star.
ღ I've wished on a shooting star.
ღ I've seen a meteor shower.
ღ I've gone out in public in my pajamas.
ღ I've pushed all the buttons in a lift.
ღ I've been to a casino.
ღ I've been skydiving.
ღ I've gone skinny dipping.
ღ I've played spin the bottle.
ღ I've crashed a car.
ღ I've been skiing.
ღ I've been in a play.
ღ I've met someone in person from the internet.
ღ I've caught a snowflake on my tongue.
ღ I've seen the northern lights.
ღ I've sat on a roof top at night.
ღ I've played chicken.
ღ I've seen the RHPS.
ღ I've eaten sushi.
ღ I've been snowboarding.
relationships
ღ I'm single.
ღ I'm in a relationship.
ღ I'm available.
ღ I'm engaged.
ღ I'm married.
ღ I've gone on a blind date.
ღ I've been the dumpee more than the dumper.
ღ I have a fear of abandonment.
ღ I've been divorced.
ღ I've had feelings for someone who didn't have them back.
ღ I've told someone I loved them when I didn't.
ღ I've told someone I didn't love them when I did.
ღ I've kept something from a past relationship.
sexuality
ღ I've had a crush on someone of the same gender.
ღ I've kissed a member of the same gender.
ღ I've had sex with someone of the opposite gender.
ღ I've had sex with someone of the same gender.
ღ I've had sex with more than one person at the same time.
ღ I am a cuddler.
ღ I've been kissed in the rain.
ღ I've had sex outdoors.
ღ I've hugged a stranger.
ღ I have kissed a stranger.
ღ I have had sex with a stranger.
honesty/crime
ღ I've done something I promised someone else I wouldn't.
ღ I have lied to my parents about where I am.
ღ I've cheated while playing a video game.
ღ I've cheated on a test.
ღ I've driven through a red light.
ღ I've been suspended from school.
ღ I've witnessed a crime.
ღ I've been in a fist fight.
ღ I've been arrested.
ღ I've shoplifted.
drugs/alcohol
ღ I've consumed alcohol.
ღ I have/do smoked cigarettes.
ღ I have/do smoked pot.
ღ I regularly drink.
ღ I've taken painkillers when I didn't need them.
ღ I take cough medication when I'm not sick.
ღ I've done hard drugs.
ღ I've been addicted to an illegal substance.
ღ I can't swallow pills.
ღ I can swallow about five pills at a time no problem.
random
ღ I can sing well.
ღ I've stolen a tray from a fast food restaurant.
ღ I open up to others too easily.
ღ I watch the news.
ღ I don't kill bugs.
ღ I hate hearing songs that sacrifice meaning for sake of being able to rhyme.
ღ I fucking swear regularly.
ღ I sing in the shower.
ღ I am a morning person.
ღ I paid for my mobile phone ring tone.
ღ I'm a snob about grammar.
ღ I am a sports fanatic.
ღ I play with my hair.
ღ I have/had "x"s in my screen name.
ღ I love being neat.
ღ I love spam.
ღ I've copied more than 30 cds in a day.
ღ I bake well.
ღ My favorite color is either white, yellow, pink, red or blue.
ღ I don't know how to shoot a gun.
ღ I am in love with love.
ღ I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS.
ღ I laugh at my own jokes.
ღ I eat fast food weekly.
ღ I believe in ghosts.
ღ I am online 24/7, even as an away message.
ღ I can't sleep if there is a spider in the room.
ღ I am really ticklish.
ღ I love white chocolate.
ღ I bite my nails.
ღ I play video games.
ღ I'm good at remembering faces.
ღ I'm good at remembering names.
ღ I'm good at remembering dates.
ღ I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.
ღ My answers are totally honest.
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| one more day for the confrontation, one more day to make it right. |
[09 Oct 2008|02:47am] |
I am exhausted. Man, it sucks when there are lots of kids... and we only have 250 kids! In a few cruises, we're going to have almost 800 kids! WHAT AM I GONNA DO THEN, HUH? I must say, though, I love the kids, and if I do say so myself, they love me. I can relate to them, while I notice that it's hard for, say, someone from Argentina who barely speaks English. At lease with the older groups, no amount of enthusiasm, creativity or organizational skills can compete with someone who knows a whole lot about Zac Efron and how to kick ass at Guitar Hero. My name here is Vitamin V, and when I'm on for shifts, they go, "WE GET YOU TONIGHT? YESSSSSSS!! VITAMIN V!" It feels realllllllllly good for a change. Virginia = 1, Worldy Certified Teachers = 0. For a change.
We're in Bermuda again. Today we were headed to the beach, but then it poured, so instead, we shopped. I bought some postcards. And a peace sign necklace, because I'm a sucker for a peace sign. Especially a wooden one.
Dear Panic at the Disco: "Shout"? Really? You adorable, adorable, adorable geeks.
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