Come, let us lick each other's elbows. (![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} cosmicwaffles) wrote in ![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/community.gif){kind=small} all_hallows_fic,@ 2007-10-31 19:04:00 |
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A Divine Error (A Bit Of Fry And Laurie - R)
title: A Divine Error
by: CosmicWaffles
fandom: A Bit Of Fry And Laurie
characters: John and Peter
rated: R
for: violence, vampires, Cannibalism, and character death.
prompt: vampire.
disclaim: Own nothing.
notes: 1051 words.
Peter stretched out, stopping his furious scribblings for a moment. John looked up. “Dammit, have you figured a way yet?”
“Dammit, John. I have, I have!” Peter protested. He was figuring out a way to bring in the 'customers'. John was working on a paper for the archbishop detailing their profit over the past six months.
“What is it?”
“Well, dammit-” Before Peter could finish his sentence, the fax machine started making sounds. He frowned, and strode towards the machine, ripping the paper out.
“John!” Peter exclaimed
“Yes, Peter?”
“It's a fax from God!”
“...Again?” John looked rather put out.
“Yes, yes!” Peter studied it, shifting in his heavy red robes. “It says something about accidental vampires, I think. Can't tell. The damn thing is smudged.”
“Dammit. Well, it can't matter that much.”
“It matters like hell, John!” Peter argued, getting up in John's face.
John flushed with anger. “Give me the damn paper.”
Peter scowled and pushed it towards him. John scanned it, face changing to something almost scared, but that flickered past and he was back to his regular angry face.
“Peter! Look at this!” He stabbed the paper with his finger. He read it aloud. “ATTN: something vampires and demons have been released from the something something of hell following a accidental error. A mortal named Marjorie Hall is leading a small group of these vampires. She has been infected. Something something caution and use something to defend yourselves if needed. -God” John growled. “It's too damn smudged to read the rest of it.”
Peter thought a moment. “They're bound to come after us.”
John laughed. “Don't kid yourself. You're not that important. I'm sure there's something else the demons of hell want.”
“John, it's not what the demons want, it's what Marjorie wants. She's the one leading them.” He grabbed the paper. “She's been 'infected'.” He sighed. “John, she's a vampire.”
“....Dammit.”
“Damn right.”
They barricaded the doors, and waited in the front of the church, wanting to get this over with.. Peter had found a couple stake shooting crossbows and some garlic hidden away in a drawer. Apparently, the church had had this problem before.
He cursed himself yet another time, for taking the crosses away for cleaning the previous day.
John looked at him. “Damn stupid idea, that was.”
“Shut up, John. They were dirty.” Peter scowled.
The door shook, and Peter and John grabbed each other.
“Er.” John said.
“Uh.” Peter replied, and peeled himself off John. “Let's do this.”
John nodded and picked up one of the crossbows. He eyed the garlic as another boom shook the door. “What the hell am I supposed to do with that, Peter?”
“Dammit, John....I have no clue. I say we throw it at them.” He held up the crossbow, leveling it at the door.
The door burst open, and Peter shot.
A young looking vampire fell immediately, and Marjorie stepped over him delicately, still looking stunning in a lavender dress, even though she was supposedly undead.
“I've come for you, John.” She drawled.
John tried to shoot her, but his aim was shaky and it landed in the vampire next to her.
Peter grinned. “Two down, Eight more more to go.”
In response, John tried to shoot another vampire, which he missed.
Marjorie smirked, walking towards them. “Oh, John. Don't you want to meet my friends?”
John scowled. “No.” He waved the crossbow around, and ended up shooting a stake into the ceiling. “Dammit.”
Peter picked off two more, moving quickly and silently.
The remaining six (plus Marjorie) advanced towards them.
John hurled a bulb of garlic at them, and they scattered, two running up to the balcony. Peter chased after them, cursing. If there was one thing he didn't want, it was an assault from above.
John fired his crossbow, and managed to take one more down, before getting kicked in the stomach. He grunted, and fell to the floor.
Marjorie smiled and had a seat at the back, just watching. She was postive that someone would die, and she liked that. Perhaps she'd even get to feed off Peter.
Peter cursed as he struggled with the two vampires on the balcony above, one on either side of him. He had managed to injure the male with a kick to the kidneys, but these were vampires, and he knew they could heal fast.
He growled, and punched the female in the jaw. He usually didn't hit girls, but hey, there was always an exception.
“DAMMIT PETER, I NEED YOU NOW!” yelled John, getting up and trying to keep the flood of vampires at bay. In reality, there were only three, but John had no ammo and they were backing him into a corner.
From the balcony above, Peter spun around, and managed to shoot one of John's tormentors, and threw two stakes to John below.
As he turned back, the male caught him by his throat.
Peter choked, attempting to peel the strong hand off.
“You're a pretty little thing, aren't you?” hissed the vampire, in tones that hurt Peter's ears. He winced.
John managed to keep the other two away by throwing garlic at them, little bits of it. They retreated somewhat, keeping a moderate distance away.
The vampire held Peter out over the edge of the balcony. “Shall I smash you on the stone below, or should I tear you to pieces?”
Peter shook his head, nearly passing out.
Marjorie watched with an evil grin from the back. She had never liked Peter. “Raoul,” She called to the vampire. “Drop him.”
John whipped his head around as the vampire did as Marjorie said. A “Nooooo!” escaped his lips as Peter hit the floor with a loud smack, nearly exploding with the impact. He watched in horror as Marjorie nodded and the four remaining vampires rushed to his best friend's body, and lapped at the blood on the stone.
He shuddered, and turned away. Unfortunately, Marjorie was there.
“John...” she said silkily. “Join me.”
He growled, a low animal sound. “Never.”
With superhuman strength, Marjorie grabbed him and bit into his neck. “You will. I will NOT let you die. You are mine, and mine only.”
Marjorie fed.
And so began John's life of being Marjorie's pet.
title: A Divine Error
by: CosmicWaffles
fandom: A Bit Of Fry And Laurie
characters: John and Peter
rated: R
for: violence, vampires, Cannibalism, and character death.
prompt: vampire.
disclaim: Own nothing.
notes: 1051 words.
Peter stretched out, stopping his furious scribblings for a moment. John looked up. “Dammit, have you figured a way yet?”
“Dammit, John. I have, I have!” Peter protested. He was figuring out a way to bring in the 'customers'. John was working on a paper for the archbishop detailing their profit over the past six months.
“What is it?”
“Well, dammit-” Before Peter could finish his sentence, the fax machine started making sounds. He frowned, and strode towards the machine, ripping the paper out.
“John!” Peter exclaimed
“Yes, Peter?”
“It's a fax from God!”
“...Again?” John looked rather put out.
“Yes, yes!” Peter studied it, shifting in his heavy red robes. “It says something about accidental vampires, I think. Can't tell. The damn thing is smudged.”
“Dammit. Well, it can't matter that much.”
“It matters like hell, John!” Peter argued, getting up in John's face.
John flushed with anger. “Give me the damn paper.”
Peter scowled and pushed it towards him. John scanned it, face changing to something almost scared, but that flickered past and he was back to his regular angry face.
“Peter! Look at this!” He stabbed the paper with his finger. He read it aloud. “ATTN: something vampires and demons have been released from the something something of hell following a accidental error. A mortal named Marjorie Hall is leading a small group of these vampires. She has been infected. Something something caution and use something to defend yourselves if needed. -God” John growled. “It's too damn smudged to read the rest of it.”
Peter thought a moment. “They're bound to come after us.”
John laughed. “Don't kid yourself. You're not that important. I'm sure there's something else the demons of hell want.”
“John, it's not what the demons want, it's what Marjorie wants. She's the one leading them.” He grabbed the paper. “She's been 'infected'.” He sighed. “John, she's a vampire.”
“....Dammit.”
“Damn right.”
They barricaded the doors, and waited in the front of the church, wanting to get this over with.. Peter had found a couple stake shooting crossbows and some garlic hidden away in a drawer. Apparently, the church had had this problem before.
He cursed himself yet another time, for taking the crosses away for cleaning the previous day.
John looked at him. “Damn stupid idea, that was.”
“Shut up, John. They were dirty.” Peter scowled.
The door shook, and Peter and John grabbed each other.
“Er.” John said.
“Uh.” Peter replied, and peeled himself off John. “Let's do this.”
John nodded and picked up one of the crossbows. He eyed the garlic as another boom shook the door. “What the hell am I supposed to do with that, Peter?”
“Dammit, John....I have no clue. I say we throw it at them.” He held up the crossbow, leveling it at the door.
The door burst open, and Peter shot.
A young looking vampire fell immediately, and Marjorie stepped over him delicately, still looking stunning in a lavender dress, even though she was supposedly undead.
“I've come for you, John.” She drawled.
John tried to shoot her, but his aim was shaky and it landed in the vampire next to her.
Peter grinned. “Two down, Eight more more to go.”
In response, John tried to shoot another vampire, which he missed.
Marjorie smirked, walking towards them. “Oh, John. Don't you want to meet my friends?”
John scowled. “No.” He waved the crossbow around, and ended up shooting a stake into the ceiling. “Dammit.”
Peter picked off two more, moving quickly and silently.
The remaining six (plus Marjorie) advanced towards them.
John hurled a bulb of garlic at them, and they scattered, two running up to the balcony. Peter chased after them, cursing. If there was one thing he didn't want, it was an assault from above.
John fired his crossbow, and managed to take one more down, before getting kicked in the stomach. He grunted, and fell to the floor.
Marjorie smiled and had a seat at the back, just watching. She was postive that someone would die, and she liked that. Perhaps she'd even get to feed off Peter.
Peter cursed as he struggled with the two vampires on the balcony above, one on either side of him. He had managed to injure the male with a kick to the kidneys, but these were vampires, and he knew they could heal fast.
He growled, and punched the female in the jaw. He usually didn't hit girls, but hey, there was always an exception.
“DAMMIT PETER, I NEED YOU NOW!” yelled John, getting up and trying to keep the flood of vampires at bay. In reality, there were only three, but John had no ammo and they were backing him into a corner.
From the balcony above, Peter spun around, and managed to shoot one of John's tormentors, and threw two stakes to John below.
As he turned back, the male caught him by his throat.
Peter choked, attempting to peel the strong hand off.
“You're a pretty little thing, aren't you?” hissed the vampire, in tones that hurt Peter's ears. He winced.
John managed to keep the other two away by throwing garlic at them, little bits of it. They retreated somewhat, keeping a moderate distance away.
The vampire held Peter out over the edge of the balcony. “Shall I smash you on the stone below, or should I tear you to pieces?”
Peter shook his head, nearly passing out.
Marjorie watched with an evil grin from the back. She had never liked Peter. “Raoul,” She called to the vampire. “Drop him.”
John whipped his head around as the vampire did as Marjorie said. A “Nooooo!” escaped his lips as Peter hit the floor with a loud smack, nearly exploding with the impact. He watched in horror as Marjorie nodded and the four remaining vampires rushed to his best friend's body, and lapped at the blood on the stone.
He shuddered, and turned away. Unfortunately, Marjorie was there.
“John...” she said silkily. “Join me.”
He growled, a low animal sound. “Never.”
With superhuman strength, Marjorie grabbed him and bit into his neck. “You will. I will NOT let you die. You are mine, and mine only.”
Marjorie fed.
And so began John's life of being Marjorie's pet.
