Making everyone else look better

alittleawkward@yahoo.com — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 13:34:57 GMT

I work in an office with one other person, Z, and we have a little cube fridge. Sometimes our co-worker D, from a different department, keeps his lunch or drinks in the fridge also. It's more convenient than going all the way downstairs to the main fridge. D is notorious for eating really unhealthy, gross-looking stuff.

This morning Z was having trouble fitting her water bottle and lunch container in the fridge. She complained that D had too much of his stuff in there. I was reading email so I didn't really look at what she was doing as she rearranged the containers. My lunch was also in there, plus some leftover fruit salad that I was going to eat for breakfast.

Later on Z opened the fridge to get her water and was looking at one of the containers. I looked up this time and noticed that it was one of mine. Before I could say anything, she said, "I wonder where D got this weird container. Plus, whatever's in there looks so gross, like it's just full of grease and fat."

I didn't want to tell her that the container was mine because it was embarrassing. Now I'm not really sure how I'm going to take out my leftovers, heat them up and then eat them without her knowing that she was mocking my food and my container and I didn't say anything. Nothing's wrong with either, not that it's really any of her business anyway.

I'm thinking that I'll wait until she leaves the office and then migrate it to the downstairs fridge. But then I'll have to eat it downstairs too, which I hate (I usually eat at my desk). I don't think she usually notices what I'm eating for lunch, but maybe she could tell from looking at it that it was Mexican food. She might notice the container on my desk or make the connection from the smell. And what if D comes in here before then and Z makes some crack? Then he'll say that the container isn't his. Even if I migrate it, she could still say something.

Ohhh, the awkwardness.

AMANDA?!?!?!

alittleawkward@yahoo.com — Mon, 06 Oct 2008 19:00:59 GMT

ok, so me and my bff were at the mall or wutever and we were looking at clothes when i thought i saw a friend of mines:

ME: that looks like my friend...
BFF: *looking at clothes*
ME: that IS my friend!
BFF: *still looking at clothes but tryin to get a look at the girl im talkin about*
ME: yells out, "AMANDA?!?!?!?" with a GIANT question mark at the end loud enough for everyone in the mall to hear
GIRL: *totally ignores me*
ME: *realizing that its not her* runs and hides behind a clothes rack
BFF: ZOMFG!!!! *bent over laughing so loud that everyone starts to look over at us*
ME: OMG STFU!
BFF: *laughs and makes fun of me for the rest of the time we were in the mall*

I was perty damn sure that was my friend amanda that that day i left a comment on her facebook askin if it was her and she never responded... X(

Claustrophobia, anyone?

alittleawkward@yahoo.com — Mon, 06 Oct 2008 18:59:35 GMT

So my mom and I were out together, and we decided to stop at this little restaurant we'd both been curious about. About halfway through the meal, I had to use the restroom, so I wandered to the back of the (fairly small) restaurant and found the restroom. I open the door and go in. Okay, so this was an extremely tiny, oddly shaped restroom with two stalls-- I can't really explain the shape; it was kind of like a kidney shape or something sufficiently weird for a bathroom. Anyway, when I leave, I grab the door handle, twist it... AND NOTHING HAPPENS.

I kid you not, I was locked in.

I have claustrophobia issues, as well as a tendency to panic. And there I was, stuck in this small, dimly lit restroom behind a locked door. It was kind of like a horror movie, to the point where I felt like the light was flickering and the walls were closing in on me. My heart pounding in my chest, I tried the handle a couple more times, then tried to shove the door with my shoulder. It didn't budge. Then I flew into total panic mode. I started banging on the door with both fists and shouting for help. I know how pathetic that is, but I was hardcore freaking out.

Right now, you're probably imagining everyone else's faces when the nice manager saves me from the evil locked restroom, right? Yeah, well here's the kicker.

I hear a noise behind me, and light suddenly flooded the restroom. Slowly... oh so slowly, I turn around to see a terrified-looking employee standing there... holding a door open. That's right. I was beating a freaking SUPPLY CLOSET DOOR, having failed to notice that it was NOT the door I had come in through.

Then I had to walk back through the restaraunt, where everyone had witnessed every moment of my episode. Talk about wanting to melt into the ground. I don't think I've ever been quite so mortified in my life.

An excerpt from my book - about an awkward moment in my lifE

alittleawkward@yahoo.com — Mon, 06 Oct 2008 07:21:20 GMT

They Called That an Anxiety Attack

They Called That an Anxiety Attack .

It Started as a Headache Brought on by the Test.

It Was My Second Day in the Particular Classroom.

The Teacher Had Forgotten to Tell Me That the Test Would Not Count on My Grade as a New Student .

I Laid My Head down on the Test Sheet on My Desk and Breathed a While Then Got up to Walk up and Put it on the Front Desk.

While I Was Walking up I Slightly Lost My Balance and I Tried to Catch Myself but I must Have Closed My Eyes or Fainted or Passed out and Was Falling Toward a Girl Sitting Nearby.

I Think I Bumped into Her and Fell Forward and Slapped down My Test.

Then Gravity Changed Again and My Feet Spun .

It Was So Trippie I Didn't Want this to Stop Right Away.

It Was like a Dream.

It Was Cold, Yet Comfortable, Scary, Exhilarating, Intense, and Strangely Happy, and All the While Insecure, as If I Was Free to Be Dangerous and I Could Feel No Pain.

Never During the Whole Experience Was it like Anything I'd Ever Experienced Before.

Something Was Happening to Me and I Wanted to See What Would Happen.

I Tried to Grab Hold of the Rack of Pens by the White Board with My Right Hand but the Pens Flew up and Then Fell like I Fell.

I Fell for Many Feet and Much Time Without Hitting the Ground but Kept Stumbling or Falling Back.

Then Another Person Was in My Way.

Just Only by Then, I Noticed That the Other Pupils Had Noticed the Commotion and Had Begun to Respond.

I Was Awakening from the Dream.

"Whoa, Oh My!", They Gasped, Wondering What Was Happening and I Noticed I Had to Regain My Balance and Try to Avoid Embarrassment.

Finally, I Stayed in a Spot and Tried in Several Directions to Find Something to Grab onto While My Arms Shot out Spasmodically and I Jeered like Some Sort of Cogs Inside Me Were Skipping.

I Was So Unsure of Which Way or Where to Go.

Then, Le Professeur Said My Name a Few Times and People Stared Very Confused and Curious as to What Was Going On.

Then I Grabbed onto a Chair and I Looked down Because I Felt Ashamed for

Losing My Controls in Front of Everyone.

I Tried to Explain That I Didn't Know What Had Happened and That I Couldn't Have Stopped If I Had Tried.

So I Agreed to Go out for a Few Minutes to Drink Some Water and Breathe a Bit of Fresh Air.

When I'd Return, Le Professeur Said, She Would Want to Talk to Me.

I Said Okay.

She Wanted to Know What Was the Matter.

She Said it Was Not My Fault or Inside My Control.

It Was an Anxiety Attack and Everybody Has Them.

I've Never Seen or Felt like That Before.

I Would Ground or Collect Myself, or Some Words That Would Be Good for Me to Do.

I Tried to Look at the People Who Were Worried and Confused.

I Smiled to Show That I Was Okay and Did Not Mean to Scare Anyone.

I Looked at the Girl I Really Liked a Lot She Was Very Beautiful et J'aime Celles Qui Sont Belles.

I Hope She Still Likes Me Because I like to Smile with Her.

She Is Nice and I like How She Looks at Life.

She Wants People to Love Each Other and Try to Be Happy

I like Her Very Much and When I Tried to Tell Her All That, I Stuttered, but She Knew I Just Wanted to Meet Her, and like Her, and Have Just That She Would like Me Too.

She Is Cute and I Hope I Was Cute Too.

I Just Hope She Can Still like Me.

I Don't Want to Scare People.

I Think Smoking Da'Kine Set it Off.

It Was Very Tasty and Good and I Didn't Notice How it Made Me Feel until Then.

It Can Be Strange and Difficult to Be Stoned in French Class.

I Went out onto the Grass and Pulled a Mossy Twig from My Hair, Then Meditated to Cycle out Any Frizz-cracks or Tightness That Might Set Me

Off Again ...

Anything That Reminded Me of That ...

Anything That Was from That.

I Tossed the Twig in the Air and Walked Back.

I Felt Good.

It Was Almost Healing to Go Through All That.

I Feel Good as If I Were a Fairy.

why do i always embarass myself in front of cute boys?

alittleawkward@yahoo.com — Sat, 04 Oct 2008 21:14:08 GMT

This story isn't as bad as some of the others on here, but it was pretty awkward for me.

One day, I had an English spare during school, so I decided to go to my friends house to play video games. On the way there, I ran into the guy I like. Let's call him Bob. Bob and I ditched everyone else and went to the mall together, and there, he bought us both slushies. I have this weird thing about not drinking through straws (it's not that I can't, it just that I don't like it), so I took the lid off of my cup. All was going well until we started walking back.

Now, there's a hotel being built next to my school, but the hotel hasn't actually been built yet; it's essentially a gigantic crater on the side of the street. The road passing by it is covered in mud, sand and other gunk. We decided to cut through there, because it's way faster than detouring around it. Part of that road was in the process of being dug-up and repaved, so there were still a lot of potholes (and even more sand and dirt and other gunk).

I wasn't really paying attention to where I was going, so I tripped into (yes, into) a HUMONGOUS pothole and I went flying. I landed face-first in a sandpile about five feet away, scraping both of my kneecaps. My slushie spilled all over my shirt and also ON MY WHITE SHORTS, making it go see-through. Bob just stood there, laughing maniacally while I was on the ground covered in blood and dirt and cherry slushie.

Then when we got back to school I tripped going up the stairs, so he had to carry me to the nurses office.

alittleawkward@yahoo.com — Tue, 23 Sep 2008 10:07:27 GMT

So here's my list of awkward situations in corridors. Ooh, those corridors- terrifying things. Does anyone else get the feeling that corridors are just made for awkward experiences?

- walking down one, I see a friend. I know she's going to say 'Oh, hello, howsagoin'?'...so what do I do? I get ready to say 'notsabad'- you know, in that automatic, rushed-together reflexic way we humans have. Howsagoin. Notsabad. It's instinctive, right? Gotta be mad to mess up on this most basic of social affairs. What do I do? We get level on the corridor- and I'm already feeling a bit nervou; it's the corridorphobia- and before she even opens her mouth, I say, well, more like half-yelled, like some sort of drunken, manic idiot 'NOTSABAD!'. Yup. That's one of those things that keep me awake at night...

- another thing I hate? That awful moment when you see a friend down the corridor and it's like 'oooh, who's going to say hello first, I wonder?' but it's really awkward, you're wondering whether to pretend you've not seen eachother, you're wondering when to say hello or if just a nod and a smile will do it...the WORST bit is when BOTH of you are corridorphobics and you end up yelling 'HI!' 'HEY!' down the corridor, metres apart, when you first see eachother... and then when you actually get level with eachother, you just kind of smile nervously and hurry on. *wince*

- this isn't corridor-specific, it just happened to me in a corridor. It happens everywhere. It was....and as I say this, I expect a crash of thunder and lightning and possibly a howling wolf...the Infamous Seemingly-Insane Fit of Laughter. It's that laughing fit I know we've all had, when something someone said yesterday rebouds off your skull and all of a sudden you're shrieking with laughter at seemingly nothing in a public place. This happens to me all the time, except usually I can control it. This time? Nope. I was walking down a corridor having remembered this thing, and was biting my lips not to laugh. Then I meet someone. 'Oh, hello.' 'Oh, h-he...pffft...hehehaha!' Within seconds I literally cannot stop laughing, and hadn't the breath to explain myself. She hurried on, giving me frightened glances, and I took nearly a minute to collect myself...luckily the corridor was empty and there were no further spectators to my ISIFL...

alittleawkward@yahoo.com — Sun, 21 Sep 2008 02:52:26 GMT

Kid from Ghana in my civics class: Hey, what happened to your arm? *points to where my cat went apeshit the other day*

Me: Oh, my cat's insane. She was laying on my arm and my dog got too close to her...

Kid from Ghana: *eyes get really wide* You shouldn't have a cat, he could have gone for your eyes and killed you. I had a friend who got his eyes gouged out by a big cat once. [to the other guy at our table]: Look at what happened to her arm!

Me: ...Um. Let's get back to our work, shall we?

This was all punctured by his thick accent, so there were periodic pauses where I had to figure out what the fuck he had just said. And how my housecat is anywhere near the same thing as a leopard, or whatever big cats they have in Ghana.

Communal bathroom awkwardness

alittleawkward@yahoo.com — Tue, 16 Sep 2008 04:21:54 GMT

So I live in the dorms at my college were we all have to use one bathroom. Blech. Sunday night I decided to go take a shower around 8ish. On the weekends everyone is partying or at their friends houses or whatever so there was no one in the bathroom. Our light is on a timer as required by California law. So, with my luck, the light goes off when I am in the middle of shaving my legs. The light sensor is by the door (about 12 feet away) and since no one has been in/out in the past 15 minutes I decide that I will just run out of the stall and flail my arms in front of the sensor. Just as I got the light to turn on, someone opens the door and the catch a glimpse of my soapy wet backside running back in the stall. I stayed in there till I was sure everyone was gone.

Fortunately, I didn't see who it was and I don't think they got a glimpse of my face. Unfortunately, i have a pretty distinguishable tattoo on my back so they might recognize me.
=(

awkward ups guy.

alittleawkward@yahoo.com — Tue, 16 Sep 2008 03:38:13 GMT

This could probably be posted in grocery_hell as well, but either way.. it was pretty darn awkward for me.

A couple days ago, I was at work, minding my own business. I was working up at the registers but it was slow and I had gotten distracted by a coworker, so I was around the corner of one of the aisles talking to them. My coworker's story was suddenly interrupted by a man bellowing out, "UPS!"

Realizing we had gotten a delivery, I run back up to the register. Whenever we accept a delivery, we sign this little machine thing they have then normally they ask you for your first initial and then have you spell out your last name. This guy did no such thing. I have a badge with my name on it that I use to clock myself in and out of work and to also assist customers at the registers.. this badge is kept on one of my belt loops very, very close to my girly bits. I'm talking to this UPS guy, and I'm halfway through saying sorry for not being up at the register and making him have to run off and search for me, when I feel his fingers graze my inner pelvic region.

I stop mid-sentence and realize he has grabbed my badge off of my hip and has pulled it towards him. In the creepiest voice humanly possible, he simply says, "Samantha, eh?"

I'm a very bold girl and make it very clear when someone has done something to upset me, but this caught me off guard so badly I just laughed nervously and said to him, "Yeah.. heh.. that's me.. uh. Yeah."

I spelled out the first four letters of my last name then ran away from him as fast as I could. And it definitely doesn't help that I'm all sorts of pale and when someone makes me nervous or embarrassed, my skin shows it! Big, red patches were all over my neck, chest and arms when I went into the bathroom to calm down a few minutes later.

I have an issue with strangers touching me anyway, but that definitely crossed so many lines.

alittleawkward@yahoo.com — Sun, 14 Sep 2008 05:51:52 GMT

A little under a month ago, I started my first year of college. On my way into the building where my English class is held, someone called my name as I was about to open the door. I turned around to say hello, and when I turned back to the door I ran into the wall/window next to it. This guy going into the building laughed and opened the door for me. I mumbled something, said thank you, and got away as quickly as possible. I went to my English class for the time, and the instructor, of course, is the same guy who laughed and opened the door for me since I couldn't accomplish such a task by myself. I love how I chose a seat at the front, too.

This community has been too quiet of late

alittleawkward@yahoo.com — Sun, 14 Sep 2008 04:37:28 GMT

A) The bus. Saturday night. Drunk kids talking loudly and excitedly on their way downtown. I am coming home from working 16 hours, thus have little to no patience for these sorts of people. Unfortunately, they are loud and ever-present.

At some point, one jock exclaimed, for whatever reason: "Girls never get off, anyway!"
In response, an old, large bus woman with a big coat and a kerchief poked him square in the chest and said "now whose fault is THAT, dearie?"
He looked a little terrified, and she jabbed her finger at him a second time for emphasis.

I hate bus people. But also... I love them.

B) Nina is me. I work on campus.
Coworker X is my friend whose sister is in first year at our university this year.
Coworker Y has a reputation of being a bit of a sleaze with the ladies.
Patrol works on campus keeping tabs on parties and drunk people.
Bystander is an innocent bystander.

One night there is a large party on campus.

Patrol: Hey X, did you know that your SISTER is at that party?
X: I don't care. Just let me know if you see Y heading in that direction.
(X, Nina chuckle)
Bystander: What do you mean? What does Y have to do with it?
Nina: Well... We used to have a saying about Y... That he'd, um...
X: That he'd fuck a girl in the ass and not stop if she asked!
Y: WHAT?!?!?
Everyone: ............
X: ...HEY Y.

Sitcom-esque timing, except PAINFULLY for realz.

C) I was sitting next to the exit of a building at my university waiting for a friend and reading a book. Then a rush of people came out of a nearby classroom- one of them unexpectedly being a completely different friend (hello, you)! What a pleasant surprise, I thought. However, he looked distracted and I could tell he probably wouldn't notice me, as I am bad at raising my voice to gain attention. In a split second, I made a decision, and carried it out before I had actually thought about it in any way, shape or form - I will gain his attention by throwing my book at him!

So I threw my book at him.
Unfortunately he then swerved and exited through the door, oblivious to my feeble attempts to get his attention.
Then the book hit some girl in the legs.

She turned to me with her hands raised in a "what the fuck was THAT?" kind of way, and I stared at her, mouth hanging open. Meanwhile my friend continued on, never knowing I was there!! The girl looked at the book, then back at me. I said the only thing I could think of: "Um... Sorry. That was... a mistake."

Sigh.

nearly awkward moment

alittleawkward@yahoo.com — Mon, 08 Sep 2008 05:07:43 GMT

so here i am at work on my laptop and i stumbled across some pr0n (don't act like you all don't look at it.) my coworker comes in and asks me to crack her back (when you grab a person who's crossing their arms and you pull them across your body off of the ground.) let's just say i had some temporary priapism going on... so i'm very hesitant to do it so i'm like "i don't know how!" she starts to show me how and all i'm doing is thinking bad thoughts. thankfully my coworker walks in as i stand up and i tell him to do it for me.

old names..

alittleawkward@yahoo.com — Thu, 04 Sep 2008 00:41:51 GMT

background: so me and my BFF have this thing where we like to think of the most OLDEST names in the book, for example: "Ingrid, Merdle, Agnus, ect.." and call each other that in public to embarass each other. We find it the most funniest thing in the world...

so one day we're sitting outside of her house commin up with the most oldest and stupidest funny sounding names we could think of, laughin our fuckin asses off....

BFF- "lester..."
ME AND BFF- "LMAO LMAO LMAO"
BFF- "lets try and think of summore"
ME - "i can't think of any....!"
BFF- *still laughing* "TRYYYY!!!!!!"
Me - "o.m.f.g. i got one!" *holding back snickers*
BFF- "what is it??!?!?!!!" *anticipating*
Me - "GWENDALIN!!!!!!!!!!!!" *rotflmao*
~~~~~ROTFLMAO ROTFLMAO ROTFLMAOx10~~~~~
BFF- *not laughing* "that was my aunts name"
Me - "....."

explanation: Her aunt had died a while back and they were REALLY REALLY close... u can imaging tryin to change the subject after that...

More awkward moments, brought to you by me not wanting to do homework

alittleawkward@yahoo.com — Tue, 02 Sep 2008 01:53:36 GMT

Background: My two friends M and S got an apartment together. S has a pet turtle that she lets run around, and because said turtle (named Shelly) is so tiny, M is prone to accidentally kicking, scaring it. We are discussing a recent mishap of accidental turtle kicking with my brother.

M: I heard a yelp and walked into the kitchen to find Shelley on her back like this *wiggles arms in air imitating a helpless, turned over turtle*
/conversation goes on like this for several minutes
My brother: "I'm going to assume at this point that 'Shelley' is an animal, not a person?"

-------------

More Boyfriend awkwardness.

We're visiting cousins in Boston. Me, Boyfriend, and cousins are in the car going to their grandmother's beachside apartment. Her nickanem is Go-Go because the grandchildren had a hard time pronouncing her name when younger, so it stuck

Boyfriend: Her name is Go-Go? Is she a stripper?
Entire car: ...
Boyfriend: What? The only people I know with the name Go-Go are strippers!
Entire Car: ...You're banned from talking

Later: We get to Go-Go's house. We're all in the doorway saying hi and hugging. She looks at boyfriend with a blank stare. He looks back at her. No one talks for several moments. Finally..
Boyfriend: ...I'm sorry my name's ____ nice to meet you
/we completely forgot she's never met him and to introduce him. Oops. At least he didn't ask if she was a stripper.

-------------

Background: When I first met my boyfriend I was studying abroad so he didn't get to meet my family for quite some time. My mom sent me a handwritten note a few months in because I was missing everyone.

Boyfriend: *sees note on wall* Is that from your mom? She has worse handwriting than a 4 year old!
Me:...er...my mom had a stroke so she has trouble writing
Boyfriend: ah shit...

I guess!

alittleawkward@yahoo.com — Tue, 02 Sep 2008 01:29:24 GMT

awkward is making plans, meeting, driving in a freezing car to chili's, sitting down, ordering, and only then realizing that you have absolutely nothing to talk about, absolutely nothing in common but your ex boyfriend (his best friend).

we sat in silence for a good 90 seconds and then we both just started laughing and had literally no idea what to do beyond that.

not that horrible, but...

alittleawkward@yahoo.com — Mon, 01 Sep 2008 21:56:13 GMT

Last weekend, I attended my great-aunt's 100th birthday party. Because I didn't know anyone there (other than my immediate family), my mom took me around and introduced me to everyone. I think I made a good impression, because some of my thrice-removed cousins (or something) offered me a place at their table. Naturally, I accepted.

Everything was going fine until the cake came.

Now, a little background: earlier, my mother had written a letter to the government informing them of my great-aunt's centennial birthday. So along with the birthday cake and heaps of presents, my great-aunt would also get letters from the mayor, the premier, the prime-minister, etc, congratulating her on her achievement. I didn't know this at the time. It was her and my dad's job to give these to my great-aunt.

So, the cake comes, and my parents were opening all of the letters and showing them to my great-aunt. I was only half paying attention until I heard my dad say, "... and this letter is from the Queen!"

So I said: "A letter from the Queen? No fucking way, that is soooooo cool!"

The table I was sitting at went dead quiet. My mom stormed over and dragged me into one of the back rooms to yell at me. She forgot that she still had her microphone on, so the entire room heard her swearing at me.

I wanted to die.

alittleawkward@yahoo.com — Mon, 01 Sep 2008 01:22:03 GMT

So, I've been on a trip for my cousin's bar mitzvah for the past few days, and I've been too worn out every night to call my friends. We usually talk on three-way every night, so I call Daniel's house, one of my best friends and who I happen to have a kind-of crush on, so he can patch me in with him and one of our other friends.

No one picks up after about ten rings, so I hang up and start doing my homework. A few minutes later, a call comes to my cell from Daniel's house. The following conversation ensues.

Me: Hello?
Daniel's brother: You called this number?
Me: Uh, yeah, I called for Daniel.
DB: Who is this?
Me: Megan?
DB: How you know my brother, Megan?
Me: ...I go to school with him.
DB: Oh, really? He be actin' up in school?
Me: ...No.
DB: Really? He do his work?
Me: ....
DB: (talks to someone off the phone for a few minutes, and then): You his girlfriend?
Me: (at this point I can feel my face flushing bright red): No.
DB: Were you talking to him on the phone last night?
Me: Not last night, no. Look, I'm hanging up now. Tell him to call me.

I hang up, and a few minutes later his number pops up on my caller ID again. I don't answer it, hoping Daniel will leave a message if it's him and not his brother.

I should have come up with something better to say, but I was expecting Daniel, not his brother D: And I'm horrible on the phone if I don't know the person very well. I'm terrified I got him the teasing of the century.

alittleawkward@yahoo.com — Sun, 31 Aug 2008 19:48:31 GMT

my highschool is all girls, thus we are a little male deprived.
last year in biology there was a male student teacher who everyone - bar my friend who's a lesbian - instantly developed a massive crush on. it goes without mentioning that my other friend (who is the one mentioned later) and i aren't exceptions from this rule.
in the same lesson when i put my hand up for help with something he came over, and i am not the sort of persno who blushes easily, but everyone afterwards assured me i was the same colour as his jumper which, needless to say, was bright red.
then he walked over to my friend - who goes scarlet if you so much as hint toward a person she may fancy - and becasue of the height of the stools and the desk and becasue of the height of him when she looked up she was faced with his crotch.

(sorry for the typos etc, i hope it all makes sense now)

alittleawkward@yahoo.com — Sun, 31 Aug 2008 06:36:28 GMT

I'd have to say one of my more awkward moments would have been about 8 years ago. I was at a funeral for my then boyfriends Great Aunt who had passed away. We were leaving and we were in the car with his mom, step dad and his brother. Something smelled really bad and I, not thinking obviously, said "Man, it smells like something died!".

Yea, I'm cool. Luckily, they all laughed and said it was nice to actually laugh since it had been a sad day. Oh boy.

A classic, I suppose.

alittleawkward@yahoo.com — Sun, 31 Aug 2008 03:57:48 GMT

I was at work tonight; my first shift after summer break [college]. I was sitting down talking with 2 of the full timers. One looks at the other and goes "Oh! Are you pregnant?" The other one laughs and says, with a fair amount of amusement, "No, just fat." So OK, leave it at that and it's just an honest mistake or an awkward moment that's been posted several times before. But the first one continues with, "Are you SURE?" Hmmm... I can't exactly figure out what made her think that that was necessary/appropriate, but it was awkward nonetheless.

Boring night: a few to keep me busy

alittleawkward@yahoo.com — Sun, 31 Aug 2008 02:51:59 GMT

Background: our campus sponsors a "late night shuttle" service around campus for students to safely make it home from parties/bars/other shenanigans. We have two drivers and the one knows me because I take the afternoon shuttle all the time)

Me: In the epitome of responsibility I went out partying knowing I had work at 6am. I was under the impression the shuttle stopped already so I was stumbling my way home blasting music. Up behind me honks the shuttle and the bus driver leans out (it seems he assumes we're BFF's since I see him quite often) and goes NEED A RIDE? Happy as hell I get on and proceed to be the obnoxiously happy drunk with the two other people on the bus.

I make it home and pass out for 2 hours before work. I make it to said work groggy, hungover, and with beer-shits.

Bus driver: *walks into store, sees me* Hey! Look who made it to work
/boss standing right behind me

Me: er...yea

-----------------------

Background: I work at a convent store/ food place. I sell a lot of Bic lighters and people can spend 20 minutes picking out what color they want.

African-american customer: I'd like a Bic lighter
Me: Sure, does color matter?
African-american custome:....what?
Me:...er...*realizes the awkward wording and grabs the stack of Bic lighters* any one in particular?

-----------------------

Me: *just came home from work, walks in the apartment (shared with 2 other girls) and yell "Hello!" to see if anyone's home
Roommate's boyfriend from bathroom/shower: I LOVE MY WEINER!
Me:...that's nice, Steve
Roomate's boyfriend: *didn't hear me* I LOVVVVVEEE MY WEINER!
Me: *hides out in living room unsure if I should leave a note and hide or not*

------------------

Background: My dad died this summer. He was pretty opinionated and passionate about things he liked.

My mom: *mentions a movie he liked*
Boyfriend: What? I wish he were alive right now so I could smack him for that!
Me and Mom: ...er...
Boyfriend: ...oops

alittleawkward@yahoo.com — Sat, 30 Aug 2008 22:53:44 GMT

Inspired by an earlier post about Paris...

After having spent three weeks in Cannes with my very good friend and her family, it was finally time for me to head back to the States. So I fly Nice-Paris, and pass through customs at Charles-de-Gaulle Airport. At the counter, a very large woman from Martinique is there to greet me. I show her my passport, tell her where I'm going, blah blah, when she asks me : "Duyafaneewehpoh?" I pause. This sounds nothing like the French my mother raised me with. She stares at me. I raise an eyebrow.
    She repeats : "Duyafanee wehpoh?" Time to play the American card.
    "I'm sorry, could you repeat that in English? My French is a little rusty," I add by way of explanation. Martinique purses her lips and sighs.
    "I am speakin' English." Oh dear God. "Duyafanee wehpoh??"
    "Can you repeat that slower, please?"
    "Duya aff aneewehpoh?" I got nothing. "Duya. Aff. Anee. Weh. Pohn?"
    "Umm...."
    "Doo. Ya. Haff. Any. Weh. Pohn? DO YOU HAVE ANY WEAPON?"
    "Oh!!! Oh!!! Um, no, no weapons..."

Yay, accents.

alittleawkward@yahoo.com — Sat, 30 Aug 2008 21:46:02 GMT

so, last night i went to six flags and brought along my gay bestie, and our plan was to hang out with one of my other best guy friends, who i happen to like...

we were in line for a ride and his sister had her camera case on her belt loop and her shirt covering it, making it look like, well, a package. sooo, he decided he wanted to do the same thing (apparently his wasn't showing off enough? haha) so i'm standing there, trying very hard NOT to look while he's like, "jeni! jeni! look! look!" and saying how it's "even better" with the lens out. *facepalm*

why do boys who know you like them have to torture you so?

Where everybody knows your name

alittleawkward@yahoo.com — Sat, 30 Aug 2008 20:15:55 GMT

Last year I went to Paris on vacation. On the flight back, they of course had an in flight movie, and after that you could watch television, on a set sort of to the front of the rows of seats. At some point an episode of Cheers came on- I loved that show! So I'm sitting there watching it, chuckling to myself, loling, roflmaoing, etc.

And then I suddenly realize that a) I'm listening to it on headphones, b) No one else was watching/ listening to the tv c) Most of the plane (including my seatmate) is actually trying to SLEEP, since it was an 8 hour flight.

alittleawkward@yahoo.com — Sat, 30 Aug 2008 20:09:55 GMT

eehhh this was awkward for me.

i was sitting in class coloring something in rainbow colors, the conversation begins:

Girl: "Rainbow, YAY GAY PRIDE!"
me: "haha yeah, but i'm not gay or anything!" (came off sounding extremely homophobic, which i am not AT ALL)
Girl 1& Girl 2: *stares*

So time goes by, and i hear girl 1 and girl 2 talking about girls they've hooked up with. Apperantly they're lesbians. i feel extremely stupid, and hope they don't hate my homophobic sounding guts.