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[06 Sep 2008|03:15pm] |
It's a wonder to me that I made it through the night. I took sleeping pills, only two, enough to get me through the night, but the night was unkind. I slept until 4 and awoke every hour following. I slipped into dreams of diseases and addiction and betrayal. I had hoped that sleep would offer a few hours of relief but, alas, not for me. The day's passed in a sort of daze. I've managed to lose myself in my book and in a movie, but every few minutes I come back to my reality and bleed anew. I don't understand how someone who told me only four days ago that she loved me, that she wanted me and only me, that there was no one else, that she was dating someone else. How can she commit herself to another person and still claim to love me? Does she fall out of love so easily? She told me that we fought too hard and for too long. I feel like it's all been a lie. Everything as of late has been a lie. Telling me she was visiting the home her parents placed an offer on when she was instead visiting this new love. Telling me she had no interest in anyone else. Telling me that she still loved me. Telling me that being in Albion, where we were once so happy together, is extremely painful for her. She'll have happiness now. She'll have kisses and hugs and cuddles from someone else. She'll smile for someone else. She'll forget everything. She'll care not for the pain she's inflicted. These external wounds aren't painful enough. I haven't been able to bleed this poisonous love out of my veins. I don't care about anything anymore. I thought I cared that my sister and my father learned of my self-injury because of Sarah and Shannon, but I don't. Sarah has remained a constant in my life, and Shannon has freed herself from the psychotic, pathetic girl she once pined away for. I used to be the girl she always wanted…and then I was the girl she got to have. I loved her so wholly, so completely. And now I'm only the girl she wanted, had, and cast away. She will love someone else. I will be another name on her timeline, another girl that she fucked and forgot the world with. She will love someone else. I don't know how to be okay. I don't know how to be happy again. I don't know how to come back from being made to feel so worthless and unloved.
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| Invisible - Michael/Sara (1/1) |
[07 Sep 2008|12:18am] |
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mood |
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 grumpy |
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Title: Invisible (1/1)
Fandom: Prison Break
Characters: Michael Scofield, Sara Tancredi, Lincoln Burrows
Pairing: Michael/Sara
Rating: PG-15
Length: 3,493 words
Summary: Sometimes blending into the crowd requires drastic measures.
Author's Note: Another post-Scylla fic that my little OCD soul demanded I write. I think we all know that certain tattoo-related things are not physically possible, but it's canon now and therefore fair game for ficcing and because I can never resist the urge to try and explain the unexplainable. *g*
( Invisible )
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| Penang! :) |
[06 Sep 2008|05:38pm] |
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mood |
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 tired |
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music |
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Diana Krall - How Insensitive |
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Post #3 from this meme.
Question from ![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) roslinforever: For some reason, knowing little about your country, I have this image of where you live as everyone being polite, clean-living, considerate, and there's little or no crime - am or right or is this wrong and Malaysia is just like anywhere else?! Do you have or have you had noise nuisance from the neighbours? Is there much crime? Do kids and young people go off the rails?
There's the good, the bad and the ugly here, pretty much just like everywhere else. Annoying neighbours pop up occasionally and crime happens. But of course, the government launches campaigns to promote moral values and things like that. Young people do get into trouble and there is no doubt that good values are waning amongst kids. We have a lot of corrupt politicians here as well. Malaysia as a whole is difficult to sum up, I think, because every state has its own identity and moral code.
However, I do like living in Penang, a lot more than I would like living in other states because there's loads of food and holidays we celebrate many festivals. We don't have to be a Muslim to celebrate Hari Raya Aidilfitri - just visit a friend who's Muslim and join in. ;) Or we can visit friends celebrating Deepavali and keep our stomachs happy with spicy Indian food! The Mooncake festival is gorgeous, because people carry lanterns of all shapes and designs at night. And of course, this question inspired me to do a picspam on Penang. This is part one of hopefully many other picspams to come. Enjoy! :)
*The filenames tell you what those pictures are of. :)
( Picspam! )
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| press releases for 403 and 404 and 405 |
[06 Sep 2008|07:57pm] |
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mood |
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 curious |
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The episode descriptions of #403, #404 and #405 have been released, which is always fun. Some of the cast list entries are rather interesting. *zips lips* As always, big thanks to purplemoongrl for supplying the spoilers almost faster than I can read them. *hugs you*
( #403 - Shut Down )
( #404 - Eagles and Angels )
( #404 - Safe and Sound )
Feel free to discuss the shiny pictures or the spoilers or my ramblings. *g*
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| Shiny! |
[06 Sep 2008|03:30pm] |
Hee.
Infanity Behind the Scenes for Season Four
A few spoilers for Season Four (the same ones from the E! filming on the set) some great interviews and some behind-the-scenes footage.
( Spoilersssssss )
Oh, and Wentworth talks about having to dust himself down with baby powder so he didn't stick to the bedsheets back in the days of Season One's tattoo application. *smirks*
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[05 Sep 2008|08:17pm] |
shannon is dating someone else. starting last night.
someone i don't know that she's been talking to for a long time.
she didn't fuck her but she's kissed her.
she told me three days ago that she loved me. that she wanted to be with me. that she didn't want to let me go.
she's lied to me. all this time....there has been someone else. she's liked someone enough to want to date them, all this time.
i feel dead. i wish i were. oh god do i wish i were.
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| Thank you all |
[06 Sep 2008|09:28am] |
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mood |
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 distressed |
] |
Your thoughts and prayers mean so much to me. I'll keep you all posted as to just what is happening.
And I am gonna try and not hover so much over Mum. I'm making her crazy!
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| RATM. At the convention |
[05 Sep 2008|02:57pm] |
The cops told they couldn't play there.
So they had an accapella show. The music begins around 2 minutes 20
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[05 Sep 2008|02:51pm] |
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mood |
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 cynical |
] |
Anyone out there have too much money to spare, and the time to fly to Westport, CT to bid in a silent auction?
I am pretending I didn't see this, because it hurts me too badly
The important portion of the article, for those who don't want to read it...
Also up for auction are an on-set lunch with "Gossip Girl" star Penn Badgley, as well as lunch with Emmy Award winner Timothy Busfield and a visit to the set of "Lipstick Jungle."
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| You know what? |
[05 Sep 2008|09:25pm] |
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mood |
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 amused |
] |
I would totally watch Prison Break Season Eighteen.
*gigglesnorts*
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| Great Minds - Wentworth/Sarah (1/1) |
[05 Sep 2008|08:10pm] |
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mood |
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 mischievous |
] |
Title: Great Minds (1/1)
Pairing: Wentworth Miller/Sarah Wayne Callies
Genre: RPF, aka Real Person Fiction. If this is not your thing, please look away.
Length: 200 words
Rating: PG
Summary:Great minds think alike.
Author's Note:eight8toes said all she wanted for her birthday was a new chapter of "In Plain Sight", but I really didn't want to make her wait that long for her present. *g* This is set during the filming of #401 and vaguely alludes to #216 and train!kissing. Happy Birthday, Daph!
( Great Minds )
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| Visioncon |
[05 Sep 2008|05:13am] |
Looks like the dates will be January 23/25.
Lets get up a war plan folks. Be sure to pack gatorade and other important items.
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| friday five times two |
[04 Sep 2008|11:47pm] |
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Originally published at blog.demiurgiclust. You can comment here or there. From the Friday 5 community at Livejournal…
1. Are you going to school this fall? If not, what was the most recent year of school you completed?
No. I graduated high school in 1998.
2. If yes, what kind of schooling are you doing (middle school, high school, undergraduate, graduate, etc.)?
Not applicable.
3. Are you someone who enjoys/enjoyed going back to school?
As a young’un, yeah. When I got older, not so much. (Except for maybe my senior year, since I knew it would be the last one.)
4. Do/did you like back-to-school shopping? Why or why not?
So-so. Most of the stuff I got was practical stuff (notebooks, loose-leaf paper, binders); I didn’t get a ton of clothes.
5. Are/were you a good student?
That depended on the subject. I was best at math and geography. English was so-so. Most of the sciences were alright (except physics…bleh). I never failed a subject, though.
* * * * *
From Friday5.org…
1. What’s your favorite orange-colored food?
Oranges.
2. What’s the best way to drink orange juice?
In a glass. No pulp, if you please. For some reason, it makes me gag.
3. Which candy’s orange-colored pieces taste best?
M&M’s. :D
4. What are your feelings about orange soda?
I don’t drink it. Sometimes I did when I was a kid; I wasn’t really a fan then, either.
5. When did you last wear an orange item of clothing?
I don’t think I’ve ever worn orange. I don’t think it looks that good on me.
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| entry for hgx challenge #1 |
[04 Sep 2008|05:23pm] |
for the current challenge at ![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/community.gif) hgx. i may do another one at some point; i don't know.
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| New story: Drifter |
[04 Sep 2008|09:44pm] |
Here we go, a new story *and* a new AU! This is for the ficathon at mag7_fic, and for my recipient, kayim -- hope you enjoy it.
While this is only a short story, it's been a bit of a wild ride because the AU was growing at the same time. I certainly didn't intend for it to work out that way, but there you go, sometimes you just have to hang on and go along.
Title: Drifter
Prompt: Vin/Ezra. Tattoos and handcuffs.
Rating: FRT
Words: 3,900
Summary: Ezra Standish had never really thought about what it meant to be Andarchic, but meeting Vin Tanner forced him to consider what it must be like to be excluded from almost all aspects of society and technology.
Authors note: This story is no doubt influenced by repeated watching over many years of movies such as Gattaca, Metropolis, The Matrix and Blade Runner. While I would never pretend to come close to producing something of those standards, I admit to a fascination with stories that deal with social conformity and what it means to be different.
Finally, you know the saying "It takes a village to raise a story"? That's certainly the case here, so enormous thanks to zekiel, farad, sallymn, siluria, evil_jacquie, charlottechill and everyone at Write 'em Cowboys -- all of whom fielded assorted brain dumps and helped me make sense of them.
( Drifter )
Final note: Vin's tattoo in this story, is here. This is a completely open AU. So if anything here triggers an idea, or you see something you'd like to explore, feel free to jump right in. Unfortunately, right now the notes and backstory for the AU exist only in my head (and scattered all over my hard-drive and inbox! :), so until I get those organised, just ask if there's anything you want to know. My only request is that if you do decide to write something then let me know, for the purely selfish reason I'd like to read it! Oh, and while this particular story is Ezra/Vin, the universe itself is open to all pairings and genres (I don't write or read gen, but anyone who'd like to is most welcome).
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| Gonna |
[04 Sep 2008|05:10am] |
Take some time off next week. I do find that these hours are oddly stifling to my brain, Must be sleep dep.
I restart school today. Wish me luck folks!
Judo yesterday went well. Worked out a new technique that I am becoming fond of and might turn into a winner. Mind you I am taking anti inflamtories with breakfast so it was intense.
Like deadly snakes I am both fascinated by and frightened of politics. Personally I just wnat the mess to be over so I can figure out my future plans.
okay off to get work ready, best to you all!
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