| It's a birth control ramble/doctor rant, but fuck it, I'm not going to cut it. |
[Oct. 11th, 2008|11:58 am] |
| [ | Tags | | | bitch bitch bitch, fail, i am scorpio and i will end you, i hate doctors, i hate everyone today, i hate those guys, i love depo, no, no bitch, oooooooooo noooooooo, rawr, sadface, so mad i could eat a baby, sparky never gets any, these shoes are mine betch | ] |
| [ | Tell Rei sama how you feel... |
| |  frustrated | ] |
Hey, if any of you are on Depo or something similar, don't ever miss your appointment. I was about a month late this time due to scheduling mishaps/forgetting to reschedule on time. They make you take a pregnancy test** (because all women are stupid, lying sluts who can't be trusted to actually not be pregnant when they say they're not, or something), but they didn't give me any advance warning. So, I did not have to pee in the slightest. The nurse actually had to go get me some water. And, I don't know if it's just the recent lack of sleep or what, but it was really stressing me out (as in, I almost started crying a couple of times).
So yeah. Not improving my opinion of the medical profession any. (For the record, I have mad respect for nurses, but not very much for doctors. Doctors are bastards.)
*stalks off to drink coffee and hopefully get lunch soon*
**Yeah, first of all? Depo takes a while to leave your system, so I would be unlikely to be pregnant. Second of all, I'm a virgin. Seriously guys, no babies. Ever. |
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| Job Interview + Scanner + Money |
[Oct. 10th, 2008|02:46 pm] |
| [ | You're WHERE?! |
| | Patrick's Living Room | ] |
| [ | Tell Rei sama how you feel... |
| |  mellow | ] |
| [ | Do You Listen to Music? |
| | News | ] |
I'm still not feeling amazing, but I am definitely feeling better. I had my interview today, and I'm excited to say I'll probably be starting to work again either Wednesday or Thursday. =) It's a temporary job that will last until the end of December. I will be working with three other people and the atmosphere is extremely relaxed. Yay for no uniform. XD I'll give more details after everything is finalized, but this will be the most comfortable job atmosphere I've ever had and it's like five minutes from the house. V*o*V
In sad, sad news... my scanner has permanently died. =O I'll be looking in to purchasing a new one within the month.
I'm also going to start saving up for when Patrick and I move next year. The move will probably be in either late February or sometime March. I can have my end of the money saved up in no time, though, since I'm keeping the church cleaning job. Who would say no to an extra $75 a week? lol
Anyway, that's what going on here. I hope you're all having a great day. ^_^ |
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| Writer's Block: Live Music |
[Oct. 10th, 2008|02:26 am] |
A strip club.
...I mean. What? |
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| All that is ahead is damnation and disappointment |
[Oct. 9th, 2008|09:32 pm] |
It seems the more we know, it's just more for us to be damned about, but shutting our eyes doesn't stop time and we're still damned every way.
All those little things we've cherished in our childhood can be so sinister in a new light, and of course, no thing from then is sacred. Poisoned candy. I read in the Ming Pao Daily a few days before, that White Rabbit is back to 24 Hour production, using fresh untainted milk. I remember feeling elated and wondering when the untainted candy will reach Canada, when this thought occurs: Why isn't the untainted milk rationed for the use of the babies? The shortage of untainted milk is serious. Breastfeeding isn't an option anymore, because women can't afford to stay home, and factories aren't exactly breastfeeding friendly. A majority of the poor will be reliant on locally made milk formulas.
...and speaking of Ming Pao Daily, this is the newspaper I grew up with. I read it when I was around three years old, my arms weren't long enough to hold it up so I read it on the floor. It had investigative reports, at least two pages devoted to opinion columns from regular to guest writers, and it used to feature a literary series in the same section as the opinion columns. I think it was D, and its back pages used to feature health coverages, frequently sex ed, in an open minded manner regarding homosexuality and birth control. This was the late eighties and early nineties.
Now, the section that used to be about health or family, is frequently hogged by 'lifestyle' product pimping, this and that cosmetics or it fashion. The literary series feature is gone. ...and about a week ago I noticed that the main news section is 1/3 ads, and even with the ads it was much thinner than it used to be. The center of the main news section which used to feature news summaries from around the world is gone. |
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| P.S. It's my birthday in less than 24 hours here! |
[Oct. 9th, 2008|09:18 pm] |
| [ | You're WHERE?! |
| | Penicuik, Scotland | ] |
| [ | Tell Rei sama how you feel... |
| |  devious | ] |
| [ | Do You Listen to Music? |
| | Covenant - Invisible & Silent | ] |
Tomorrow hopefully I will update on my latest adventure that took me into Edinburgh. (w/ pictures!) For now I'll leave you with this:
xSharinganHeirx: know what's sad.. the voices in my head have a british accent now |
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| great game to waste time |
[Oct. 9th, 2008|08:58 pm] |
| [ | Tags | | | fun | ] |
| [ | Tell Rei sama how you feel... |
| |  amused | ] |
try this game!!! it's so fun!
I was rather impressed, though I've beat it a few times... and it didn't guess Sougo. (Gintama 86 was amazing!!)
(also it gave me L when I was aiming for Roy Mustang >_>)
but it's ok, I has Sougo at home :D (3Z version)
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| Writer's Block: Personal Holidays |
[Oct. 9th, 2008|12:16 am] |
How about a Pansexual Day? :3 We could celebrate it with lots of sex, or something. |
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| Gotten Myself Sick Somehow |
[Oct. 8th, 2008|08:50 pm] |
| [ | You're WHERE?! |
| | my bedroom | ] |
| [ | Tell Rei sama how you feel... |
| |  lethargic | ] |
| [ | Do You Listen to Music? |
| | nothing | ] |
Probably not going to be on much at all tomorrow. I've gotten sick. Kind of feels like the flu, actually. I ache all over when I try to walk. My head fill congested. My nose and lips are dry. My head is a hot, and I have a little fever. I also get dizzy when I try to get up.
Don't worry though, I'll be fine in a few days. I've just got to rest and drink plenty of liquids to keep from dehydrating. I've been taking my meds as well.
All I ask is that you pray. Not looking for advice or suggestions. I know how to take care of myself. I'm just letting you know why I won't be on much.
Peace Out
Destinie |
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| Art + Ren + Patrick |
[Oct. 8th, 2008|07:08 am] |
| [ | You're WHERE?! |
| | my bedroom | ] |
| [ | Tell Rei sama how you feel... |
| | hopeful | ] |
| [ | Do You Listen to Music? |
| | Joyce Meyer Ministries | ] |
Ashley ended up not coming over yesterday because no one was able to go get her or bring her here. She seemed a little down trodden, but there is always another day. =)
I took a shower and cleaned yesterday. Then I spent the rest of the day surfing the internet and working on artwork. I got the cleaned line work completed for Ch. 1 Pg. 13 of Sanguem Deus and the picture I'm doing for Ren of her character Jun. I also started on a new picture of Scarlet with an autumn theme. I'm pleased with the composition I came up with for it. I hope it turns out as well as I have envisioned it. ^_^
Ren called yesterday to tell me about her father who is in the hospital. She would call me every so often with an update. They ended up removing part of his lower leg due to a bacterial infection that could have killed him. My parents and I have been praying for him. I hope that he and the rest of the family can be strong during this trying time. Even if you don't know Ren (![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) pretty_kozi), please send her and her family happy thoughts and prayers. They will be greatly appreciated. <3
In news of Patrick, he will be without a job as of Saturday. Friday is his last day as an LPD. They wanted to cut his pay and put him in a uniform. He'd also be forced to drive to Durham from Garner twice a week which is a bit ridiculous considering gas. He just can't afford to do that with a pay cut, so they are laying him off. He's already got another job offer in the works, though. So, hopefully he'll have a new job within the next two weeks that will pay better than the job he's been at. Wish him luck everyone. He needs it. ^_^
I hope you all have a very nice and pleasant day with little to no worries. <3
( Month Meme ) |
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| Trick or Treat |
[Oct. 7th, 2008|03:47 pm] |
| [ | You're WHERE?! |
| | my bedroom | ] |
| [ | Tell Rei sama how you feel... |
| |  grumpy | ] |
| [ | Do You Listen to Music? |
| | Joyce Meyer Ministries | ] |
( Click Click Bang! ) |
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| A Healing Heart |
[Oct. 7th, 2008|11:30 am] |
| [ | You're WHERE?! |
| | my bedroom | ] |
| [ | Tell Rei sama how you feel... |
| | good | ] |
| [ | Do You Listen to Music? |
| | Joyce Meyer Ministries | ] |
A Healing Heart - Pt 1
We all experience emotional pain in our lives, but if we don’t take steps to overcome that pain, it can consume us. Join Joyce and special guest Dr. Tim Clinton as they show you how to get on the road to recovery.
----
I felt a strong urge to share this for some reason. I've linked to the sound only version. But you can see the video and other versions HERE if the above link doesn't work for you.
I felt like this message spoke very strongly to me... as if they were talking to me. Maybe someone on my Friends List needs to hear it. I don't know, but I hope it encourages whoever does.
--Destinie |
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| Breakdown + Interview + Car Problems |
[Oct. 7th, 2008|09:32 am] |
| [ | You're WHERE?! |
| | my bedroom | ] |
| [ | Tell Rei sama how you feel... |
| | okay | ] |
| [ | Do You Listen to Music? |
| | Joyce Meyer Ministries | ] |
Firstly, I am not looking for any sort of advice. I'd appreciate you keeping your 'suggestions' to yourself.
Hmm, I don't really know what to say. I've just been doing a lot of art and relaxing... or rather trying to relax. I had a break-down on Sunday. I need to quit holding everything in. Things happen and I won't react to them until about a week later after everything has piled up in a thick bundle in my chest. It's like a time bomb waiting to explode. There are a lot of really bad things going on in my family right now. I don't really feel like talking about them, though. Patrick says my worries and stresses are not illogical, he just wishes I would release more often.
Ever since I can remember I've always had a difficult time with anger and sadness. Mom tells me a story of when I was a toddler and she noticed that I would cause myself physical harm when under stress. I would bite myself and bang my head into the wall, but I wouldn't cry. It freaked her out, so she took me to the doctor and he said that I lacked control over anger and sadness. I didn't know how to properly express it. And there wasn't anything that could be done about it other than my parents just trying to minimize my stress and keep me from hurting myself.
I don't physically hurt myself anymore, but I still have issues with it occasionally. I have a strong dislike for feeling anger and sadness because of it. So I avoid those emotions as much as possible. I like being calm and quiet and slightly cheerful. A peaceful happiness.
Patrick has helped me through a lot. If it wasn't for him I don't know where I'd be. He encourages me to cry when I'm stressed. After much effort on Sunday, I eventually cried and just blurted everything that's been bothering me in a chatter that lasted about an hour. He cradled me in his arms while I talked and cried.
I felt so much better afterwards.
Aside from that... it's been an alright weekend. I had an interview with a temp agency yesterday. I'm hoping I'll hear something soon. I've been offered a job at the Pantry Corporate Office which is ten/fifteen minutes from my house. They are working in putting a interview together for me. Starting pay is $10 an hour. I'm not sure if the offer is permanent or temp, but I don't care since a job is a job. I need the money.
My car has developed an oil leak. It also has a brake fluid leak, the front tires are going bald, and the front right tire has a wheel baring problem. Dad is supposed to be looking at it today. So... I have no transportation.
But, I'm sure that won't be a problem for long.
Ashley is trying to come over today. I'm not sure if she'll be able to if no one can go get her. We'll see.
I hope you all have a pleasant day. |
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[Oct. 6th, 2008|11:44 pm] |
When my roommates aren't around so much I do a lot of useless stuff.
I have powered through the first season of Queer as Folk and am nearly halfway through the second. I am madly in love. The end of season one had me all O____O. Waiting seven months for season two would have been inhumane, it makes me glad the series is complete.
The second season of Vampire Knight has started and I'm bouncing with anticipation to watch it.
I need to:
- finish all five season of Queer as Folk.
- catch up on watching Soul Eater.
- catch up on reading Vampire Knight.
- watch (read?) Loveless.
- pay close attention to my bandwidth cap.
- get approval to teach my classes.
- catch up on scanlating doujinshi.
- vote for Rick Astley.
Not necessarily in that order. |
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| The weekend that was. |
[Oct. 6th, 2008|02:11 pm] |
I had a pretty busy weekend however, it was a good weekend. I had work on Saturday for a few hours and then spent some time with G. at Chinatown. I was hunting down that Exia TransAm model but got some movies and just basically relaxed. We were kinda tired but after a brief break at home, we went grocery shopping. Then the rest of the night was spent preparing to watch Gundam 00 S2 episode one XD.
Sunday, Thomas called me to wake me up...at 9:30am (yeah, I was totally late!) so we could figure out when to meet before the Neil Gaiman event at the Kabuki Theater. We decided to meet at 11:30am at the Kino building. I got lazy and went back to bed to cuddle 'cause both G and me were really sleepy. He knew I was running late to he offered to drive me all the way to Japantonw (my bf, he luvs me *_*) I was a bit late but we got to have lunch and tour the bookstore before we went to do the line outside the theater.
NEIL GAIMAN WAS AWESOME and pretty funny. I have to admit I dozed off a few times due to the fact that it was a little dark and he is slightly on the soft spoken side. His voice lulled me to take a nap ^__^;;; but when I re-read chapter 6 today, I realized I had actually not missed that much of the reading. Hahaha, nothing like being in that semi-awake state. I have a little video I took during the Q&A which was really funny. We also saw a special preview of Coraline and he kindly asked people not to post anything in the net until the reading tour is over because this is really a treat for those who attend so he doesn't want it spoiled for the last stops in the next few days. But soon, you will see all these videos up in the net XD. Or just go to his blog, he will probably post them there.
I walked out of the reading with two shirts which I was very happy to get. Too bad the "scary trousers" t-shirt was sold out on my size but I can always get one from Neverwear. I regret not getting the mousepad though, it was pretty funny. In all, it was an awesome experience. Thomas was excited to find out Neil has an extremely good sense of humour. I managed to finish the book today during my lunch and dude, it made me cry and it made me cheer and I am in love with Silas. Miss Lupescu has a VERY special place in my heart, I love her. I wish Dave McKeann would have sketched her, for some reason, I would love to cosplay her XD.
Anyway, work is alright and just slightly boring but I hope I don't fall sleep. More later, maybe i will post my little phone video of Neil talking. |
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| Sickly! |
[Oct. 6th, 2008|02:43 pm] |
| [ | Tags | | | uk | ] |
| [ | You're WHERE?! |
| | Penicuik, Scotland | ] |
| [ | Tell Rei sama how you feel... |
| |  sick | ] |
| [ | Do You Listen to Music? |
| | Front Line Assembly - Parasite | ] |
I started getting a cold friday night! I've been pretty sick since, but on Saturday I still walked to the store in the rain to get cold medicine and tissues (and a few other things for the household) because I am pretty insane. Actually I really needed the tissues and medicine and didn't realize it was raining until I opened the door to leave. (I know, I should have sent Michelle! ;D )
The annoyance is that while sick my lungs hurt worse now that I quit smoking than they did when I still smoked. It is making the cigarette counter at the store look friendly really. (So does the idea of trying some out here!) I can't though.. I must resist. I don't get cravings very often though. Usually only when I walk past the counter in the store or after eating dinner. The rest of the time I don't really crave it for the most part.
Friday we got the tickets to the expo at the end of the month in London. I haven't done much else really yet aside from eating different types of food and just chilling (lol irony it's cold out here too) in the house. I need to nag Michelle and/or her bro to take me to a pub! Hopefully one with a british pool table so I can get a picture of it. I know the pub down the street has a pool table or something, but I don't want to go by myself. Michelle claims it's full of old men too, although I see some guys smoking outside that are probably younger than me.
Next week I'll probably go into the actual city of Edinburgh. We have to in order to buy coach (bus) tickets for the journey to London anyway.
( Picture Time! ) |
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| NERDGASM! |
[Oct. 5th, 2008|02:02 am] |
4 YEARS SINCE THEY SAW EACH OTHER!!! They be marrying about now XD. Haha, I need to go to bed but I am enjoying /m/ way too much ROFL., I just joined the fanboy fest.
1st episode of Gundam 00 was AWESOME. It had action, death, angst, and Setsuna channeling Snake from MGS. Incredible enough, the raw is out already here: http://www.nyaatorrents.org/?page=download&tid=35038
GO FORTH AND JOIN ME IN THE NERDGASM THAT IS GUNDAM 00!
ps: basic outline of episode from /m/ at the Gundam 00 comm: http://community.livejournal.com/gundam00/338993.html |
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| Poll time! :D |
[Oct. 5th, 2008|02:34 am] |
Poll #1272695 Polletry
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: AllI write poetry now and then. Should I post it here? It's usually either sonnets or haiku. Does this make a difference? I like ticky boxes! Do you? Fish! |
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| Are you ready for Gundam 00 Season 2? 70 minutes to go! |
[Oct. 4th, 2008|11:49 pm] |
So I am staying up late to watch the streaming of the chapter in TBS. Info courtesy of /m/ at 4chan:
Streams: mms://stream.gundam.eu/tbs - mms://waryas.ath.cx/live - mms://hinamizawa.jp/tbs
TBS can also be found on Keyhole
Right now, I am using the first streaming site and there is Japanese soccer on. I AM EXCITED to see the new episode even it is raw! I hope I make it until 1am...I am so tired right now and tomorrow I have a long day of fun with Thomas since I changed my plans and we are going to see Neil Gaiman in San Francisco at the Kabuki Theater in JapanTown so we are having food and then I am picking the Exia TransAm metallic finish model.
WHOOHOO GUNDAM!
ps: also downloading the rest of Code Geass R2 so I can marathon it. I have spoiled myself already so I will be walking familiar territory. It will be cool. |
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