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I miss Vanille. I miss her antics, I miss her sight, I miss the connection only hours devoted to someone can create. And rather selfishly, I miss having a being available at any time of the day, happy at the only sight of me. Then I cry and I wish I could pet her and hear her sweet sounds of joy--and I cry some more.

I never thought I would miss her so. I thought I would wait one to three months, and get a new rabbit, but now I know I'll never be able to do so. The gap she left behind is big and cruel that all I can think of is to find a new bunny immediatly. To lift my spirit to a positive set of actions, you know? It's not that I won't take time to mourn her properly. But with the new bunny at my side to love and be loved by, I believe it'll be easier.

So, the search is on. And it could be a long one (another good reason to start now rather than in 3 months...). My family and I decided it would be best if we took one that was very different physically from Vanille (except the lop ears, which we all adore), so we're hoping for a male, brown, dutch dwarf lop fellow. Of course it could be a lionhead or a rex too--hey if I could I'd take it with all these characteristics--but this is the plan.

To give you a picture of what I'm seeking:


Wish me luck. I'll keep you updated and post a picture of the new baby as soon as I find it:) Who knows, maybe he'll be very different from this.

YAY THE NEW ALBUM IS OUT!
Check out the first PV:



...Kamijo makes me melt.*_*

This is your birthday CnS.

The tracking number is 9101805213907800571263 and you can track it at usps.com

I don't know the ETA and neither does USPS at the moment.

Hopefully you'll get it before Wednesday.

i want someone to share a big secret with me.
 i want to braid my hair.
i want to sit in a hot car and fall alseep for hours and wake up when the stars are out, and then go somewhere and eat really bad food.
 i want the smell of elementary classrooms back.
 i want the small high of buying a new shirt.
i want someone to contain me so i can just scream and cry for two minutes.
i wanna drink red koolaid out of a disney cup with a crazy straw.
i want that sweet smell you get from sitting next to a bowl full of oranges.
i want to crochet a scarf.
i want to smoke an entire pack of cigarettes sitting on the roof of a stranger's car in the middle of the night while some neighborhood dog barks at my shadow.
i want the glow of the streetlights to highlight my hair.
i want to walk around barefoot for a day.
i want to swing on a child's playground for forever.
i want to kiss the lips and hear the whisper of the one that needs me.







something needs to happen before i explode.

So I just wanted to post to let everyone know that so far my grandmother is doing very well. She's recovering well from her surgery and sounds upbeat and happy when I talk to her on the phone. She'll start the chemo at the end of the month. We're all hoping that she won't have to do much of that and that she'll be better afterwards.

I also wanted to thank everyone that commented on my last post. ::internet hugs for all::

I must acknowledge that I am a complete slut for all of the following: Michael Caine, gadgets, anti-heroes, madmen, and things exploding. So The Dark Knight was pretty much utter win.
I might  post a full review later, when I have a chance.

Hanging out with Allan, Kristi, and Trent was a good time. We got to the theatre around eight, so we had good, unobstructed seats. We found Kaela and her friend, so we sat with them and giggled a bit. Trent and I ran into Patrick and Becky on a WalMart run, and had a quick exchange about ravioli. Jacob was there too, so we talked to him after the movie. I wish Chels and Kayla-Kelsey could have come, but I'm sure I'll see it with them sometime later.

Tonight is Chelsee's birthday party/Macbeth Shhh. I just hope I'm not hella tired, as Kristi and I fell asleep on her couch around five and woke up at eleven. Six hours sleep, huzzah!

Trent and I have discovered that thinking of words beginning with J is much more difficult than words beginning with M.

I wonder when Toaster is picking us up...

 I can't help but think it was either "Can't Touch This" from MC Hammer or Ice Ice Baby from Vanilla Ice and yes I've moved on.

Daniel Craig has been cast to play Lucifer, and he's getting a second chance.

I just might have to see this one in the theater.

P.S. I pass by cows everyday on my way to work.

If that's not a reason to go on living, then I don't know what is.

i miss you, baby

don't want to do this anymore

I took today off because I had to go to the optometrist. I have allergies that are SO FREAKING HORRIBLE!!11 So I had to go see the eye doc about my contacts not staying in place. Turns out my eyelids are so swollen that they pull my contacts off my iris. Nice.

OMG I can't get the pictures resized! Booo!

( So I've decided to picspam you! With my ~house and surroundings~ Picture heavy! )

Today as I stepped out of the shower to dry my hair, I looked down at my feet and noticed those two little scars in between my toes where my flip flops sit. At this moment I realize summer's almost over.

This is the first time I've been in love with someone I've never touched.

Someone who's name I desperately try to force from the back of my lips but all that escapes is carbon dioxide.

My brain is swelling inside my skull and I just wish I had a pillow to rest it on.

I deal with things I shouldn't have to.

I've had finger paint in my hair every night now since monday and it makes me smile.

this is all for now. If I wasnt so tired I'd think of something witty.

You'll just have to wait.
 

E! online has the list of Primetime Emmy nominees.

Guess who made the cut?

Dexter for Outstanding Drama
Michael C. Hall of Dexter for Outstanding Lead Actor in a Drama
Dirty Jobs for Outstanding Reality Program
Dancing With The Stars for Outstanding Reality-Competition Program
The Tudors for Outstanding Casting for a Drama

Tin Man for Outstanding Miniseries!!!

I'm becoming so domestic lately. I really want a 12-inch skillet. And an ice cream maker, but I have a greater need for the skillet.

The next week, you should expect daily picture/voice updates. I am living with Kristi, and I am going to take more pictures than you can imagine.

Harold&Maude is my favorite movie. Seriously, I loved it more than you can understand. I'll admit, I cried. I can't find a copy at Bookman's, but the one on Ina has pins from every Late Night Cult Classic at the Loft. Needless to say, I bought every H&M pin they had. They now decorate my Smith's bag.

American Psycho is the Cult Classic on August 22nd. Who's up for it? I think I'm going to force Patrick and Kendra to come.
(I have a weird crush on Patrick Bateman.)

Speaking of which (of Christian Bale movies, not slasher satire), The Dark Knight comes out tomorrow at midnight. Guess who'll be there? Me. Kristi. Allan. Trent. I'm pretty psyched.

Jessica's leaving for Florida tomorrow. How will I survive?

There's going to be a Macbeth Party/Chelsee's Birfday on Friday. I have my Macbeth shirt all planned out. It's a lot like my Penelope/Mercutio ones: Big name in color, comment/quote in small black.

I have a busy week ahead of me. But I'm excited. :D

 Dee Dee McCall except without all the bad make-up and hair.  Her partner's gorgeous, she lives in LA and she leaves the show to get married (albeit a failed attempt but ya can't win em all) plus she's a gutsy woman when most cops are male and doesn't take the crap.  I think i would've slept with my partner more than once by now tho....did I mention he's sexy?

So I went to my internship yesterday. It was supposed to be my Hour of Glory, you know, showing the posters and folders David and I spent countless hours working on.

I don't know how I thought it would go, or what were the reactions I expected. What I know is that I didn't get it, for everytime I think about that reunion I get a little more depressed.

Were they happy? Oh yes. But strangely I didn't feel our work validated by their "it's neat!" and "thanks". They don't know how much work went into it and they weren't interested in the slightest.

I feel bad. I wasn't able to keep a positive attitude after it. God knows David doesn't need another person to whine about this project.

Maybe I was just naive to think things would change after school. You know, that people would suddenly become adult about issues that grate on my nerves.

...but you know what? Everything comes to those who wait. When April will arrive (=end of internship), they'll be in deep shit. That folder needs to be changed each season and I'm the only one who knows how to use Photoshop. Mwahaha.

*-*-*-*

In other news, it seems it's the week for Bad News In One Shot. Mine don't top Amanda's, but my bro failed his French Provincial Exam, which puts his whole admission to University in danger. We're all shocked because he's a crack at languages. Even him doesn't understand what happened and his whole self-esteem is crumbling to dust. As for my aunt, her favourite cat died last month, and another one yesterday. If it's not enough for you, a virus spreaded to the other cats. Where does it comes from, you ask? Well, some vet did a poor job and deemed a cat healthy when it wasn't. Result: he infected all the others. Now she has to cancel her vacations to stay with her cats, and deal with a depressed lover. Mom and I want to visit them, if only to stop their cycle of exchanging negative energy, but we can't because we have cats too and that virus is highly contagious. Raaah.