we all need somebody to lean on

Are first dates always a little awkward?

I just went on one last night with this dude I really like (total BABE). We went to see Sherlock Holmes. And the little conversation we had before and after the movie was just... awkward. Kinda jump-start-stalling, ya know? I've never been on an actual date, so I have nothing to base this on.

I'm a dating noob.

But I really want to hang out with him again. This time where we could actually talk.

I guess I just wanna know what first dates are usually like. Yeah...

My problem is getting to be really bad, so I'm posting this here. My boyfriend and I don't talk well anymore, the problem's been going on for about 1 1/2 months. Before we used to have the most amazing, easy flowing conversations, but now we always have breaks in between and nothing to really talk about. If he starts every conversation, then it'll be  fine, but when i'm on my own it goes nowhere. In other words, the problem isn't US not being able to talk, it's ME not able to start a conversation. He's stopped leading the conversations to see if i'm able to because that is something he feels is very important, for me to be able to carry it. this is all online by the way, because we go to school apart and we don't see eachother often.

This problem is really putting our relationship in a risky position, and i really don't know what to do. i can never think of anything to say, or a topic to bring up. I ask about his day, and after a few awkward replies i'm at a loss of what to do, and i start to get nervous because i know he's waiting for me to say something, then he leaves to go do something else because he only signs on to talk to me, and the weird conversations and silences are basically a waste of time.

I think everybody tends to go through this stage, but maybe not as bad as mine. anybody have ideas or tips or advice? i try, but i just fail, and it's really putting us in a horrible place.

thanks =X

I am the least creative person in the world so I have no idea what to do for my guy. We're not officially together so I'm especially confused on what to do for him. Any ideas would be lovely! I want to do something small, so he at least thinks I appreciate him :)

SO.
Guys, I'd love to hear from you especially.
What should I get my boyfriend for Valentines Day? I am so beyond lost.

This summer I'm going to be volunteering abroad at a hospital in rural areas in Costa Rica and Panama. Although my parents can afford the trip, I decided to try to get sponsored and raise donations as well so that my mother doesn't have to cancel her vacation plans. I don't really want her to cancel anything because all the vacations she's taking this year are to see family members she hasn't seen in a long time and for a family member's wedding, etc.

The trip is in a little bit less than 3 months. I want to try to raise at least $500 in donations for the hospital and some money on the side for my flight. All the fundraising I have done in the pst, I've had a venue for because it's all been at the University of Toronto. I currently volunteer for the Canadian Cancer Society, Toronto General Hospital and I'm still setting up my own club at the University of Toronto for the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation. Since most of the places I volunteer with are NGOs I'm not sure if I can ask for sponsorship from them. Also, I have only been working at the Canadian Cancer Society since last summer.. is it too soon to ask for sponsorship for my trip or donations? I'm thinking of asking the Toronto General Hospital for equipment and medicine/other medical donations for the clinics in Costa Rica and Panama. That..I think I can do.

When it comes to my own fundraising, I just need venues and some ideas. I can think of some ideas for fundraisers and host some events/parties in hopes that I'll collect enough money but I don't have any venues for these events. I have a sponsorship letter from the organization. I'm thinking of asking my Church if I can host something/hold events where half of the profits go to them, etc.

Is there anyone else I can reach out to? I'm drawing a blank right now.

Also, my father is against the idea of fundraising for my trip/getting sponsored etc so getting help from companies/organizations parents work with is out of the question.

Thanks so much! 

Me and the boy have been together for two years, he's 21 in debt no job no car but I love him deeply anyways. I'm 18 in college, working full time with a new car and several grand in the bank; I worked and earned all that.

His parents used to live down here in NC but have since moved back to PA since thing are 'better up there'. He stayed behind to be with me and somehow managed to scrape by. Yesterday morning I get a call saying in two weeks his dads coming to get him and all his stuff and he's going to PA to get this life straight; but he promised he'd be back soon.

But he made so many promises that he would get a job and make things work down here, none of which happened; so in my mind I feel like he is leaving forever. He wants to stay together while he's gone but I do not do long distance relationships esspecially when I know he'll probably never come back. How can I voice this to him without hurting him?

And on another note, I'm moving into where he has been living the past 8months(because of family issues) renting the upstairs, 2bedroom one bath and living room sorta thing, of this sweet couples house where the rent is only $150 a month. Thats really all I can afford on my wages but I don't want to be haunted by memories of him, and I'd feel so guilty bring guys home to the room we spent so much time in.

I'm at a complete loss on how to cope with everything, how would you handle this situation?

Background: I'm 19, frosh in college. Boyfriend is 19, soph in college.

I've been with my boyfriend since last June, and I love him alot. We've been in a long-distance relationship all school year. I thought we were doing pretty alright, except he keeps telling me that he gets really depressed when we aren't together.
I want him to be happy, and I've asked him what I can do to make him happy and he tells me that I'm fine. So I can't help him. I don't want to make him unhappy, so what should be my next step? Go on a "break"/break up? Transfer? Wait it out? I'm visiting him next weekend and we're going to talk about it then.

( useless background information so it doesn't clog up the post )

Thanks in advance.

After close to a year and a half of searching for a job to no avail, I had another interview today.
There was something different about this interview, this job was pretty much handed to me on a silver platter.
It's a new company which is supported by several large corporations(such as Procter & Gamble, Macy's and McDonald's for example) and their main purpose is to teach their workers entrepreneurship skills. Survey taking is also a large part of what this company does.
It seems far too good to be true to me. The person interviewing me told me that it's 100% legit and there were also two people who work for the company in the room and they had nothing but good things to say about it.
It's incredibly flexible so it won't get in the way of school at all, and they plan to expand nationwide so since i'm planning to transfer out of state next year I can still work for this company. They also said they can even help me pay for college. Since I want to start my own business anyway someday, I think something like this could be very helpful.
But I can't shake off this bad feeling I have about it. Job hunting has been ridiculously hard for me and I don't understand why, i've had close to 20 job interviews and no one has hired me. I have volunteer experience but it seems as if that's not good enough. I've been rejected from Wal-Mart, the local grocery stores and even McDonald's, I have absolutely no idea what to do anymore. I don't want to reject this opportunity, and if I do, I don't think I will be able to forgive myself anytime soon. At the same time, what if this is a scam and I end up screwing myself over?

Could anyone here offer me some words of wisdom regarding this situation and suggestions of what I should do?

Cross-posted to topicless.

So I've been dating this guy for a while now and I would say things are getting more serious. I like him a lot, he seems to like me a lot too, and we trust each other. We spend a lot of time together, we've been in trouble together, we talk regularly... so far so good. Like I said in my last post, he's my first real relationship, so I'm having a lot of trouble navigating these waters. Anyway, the issue:

The other night we were driving home from a restaurant when my phone beeped with a text. It was pretty late, so he said (kind of annoyed sounding), "Who the hell is texting you right now?"

I was texting back, so I just said absently, "A friend..."

He kind of scoffed a little and said, "A friend? Way to sound sketchy."

And then I felt really bad because it seemed to me that he was insecure/upset about it, when I clearly didn't even think about that, so I said immediately, "No, remember my friend Anup I told you about a few weeks ago? The one I went to grade school with? We're trying to figure out when to have lunch with my brother." Because I didn't want him thinking that I was keeping secrets or feeling insecure about anything at all.

So that was that. Then today, we were texting and I asked him how work was going and he texted back, "I'm not working. I'm having lunch with a friend =)."

I texted him back, "Oh fun! Which friend?"

And he never replied.

Here's the thing. I don't for one second think that he is off doing anything sketchy, or that I have any reason to be suspicious. I do trust him. But the principle of the point is bothering me. Why is it that he's allowed to get sketched out when I say something, but he can use the same terminology back with me? I really want to stress that I'm not sketched out or anything. I just feel like, this is how distrust builds in relationships. Half truths that the other person wonders about.

I'm also not insinuating that I would have the right to know about every one of his actions every day. It's just because he brought it up, that it makes me feel like I'm not being irrational for thinking about it. Or is this a totally stupid point to be bringing up?

Advice would be much appreciated :/

I am going to be a second semester freshman in about a week and my school is already sending me information about campus housing. We have to apply by the first week in February. Unforunately, I do not know who I want to live with and I don't think sophomores can apply for random roommates like we can as freshman. My current roommate, who was my friend in high school, is under the impression that we are living together next year. Just the other day, she asked what we were doing about housing. I never agreed to live with her next year. I still want her to be my friend, but I really can't stand being her roommate. She is moody and clingy and thus quite annoying! I don't want to tell her this, but I know if I tell her I want to live with someone else, she will be angry. Unfortunately, I also do not know who I can live with as most of my friends are either living with their current roommates, undecided, or guys. I was hoping I would get to know some more people this semester and decide who I wanted to live with based on that, but two weeks doesn't give me a lot of time. Basically, I can live in an apartment next year. The place I want to live in has individual rooms with a shared kitchen/living room area. Is it a bad idea to sign up to live in a random apartment with people I don't know? What would you do in this situation? Have you ever had to deal with something like this?

Thanks so much!

I'm in a HUGE predicament. One of my close friends was talking to this guy, but not in a romantic way. We all hung out and we automatically clicked. It was easy to be myself around him and he told me that he felt the same way towards me and that he has never felt like this towards anyone ever.

here is the issue: My friend decided she liked him.

I know I should just back away and let her have him but i feel like thats not the right thing to do. Its rare for me to connect with someone like I do with him. Last and only time i did was with my "first love".

Idk, if this makes any sense but any words of advice would be amazing.

Last year I fell in love for the first time. I've always had boyfriends and things going on with guys, but R was different. I've never connected with anyone in my life like I did with him. We are scarily the same person, and we immediately hit it off as soon as we were introduced through a mutual friend. We spent tons of time together, talking for hours, going out to dinner and not realizing the restaurant had closed while we were caught up in conversation. He understood my every emotion and had the same general values, ideas, and outlook on life that I do. We liked each other, that much we knew. I suppose it was not meant to be; we hooked up on and off for months, and during all those months we still hung out alone and did things as if we were in a serious relationship. He didn't want to get into a serious relationship because he was leaving in August (he is now abroad for the year) and had just gotten out of a terrible relationship.

Next year he will return to the Wisconsin and will be in my life again. I'm sure we will return to being friends, we still email every month or so, but obviously we will never be anything like we were.

I just need to know that I will meet someone else like him again. Someone who I connect to on that level, who understands me like he does. Can I find someone to love like that again? I have always thought that that soulmate stuff was kind of bullshit, but no matter how many guys I meet (and I've even dated one since him), I end up comparing every man I meet to him, and ultimately, nobody compares.

Does anyone have any words of advice on how to move on from your first love? Its easy enough right now while he is halfway across the world and not a part of my daily life, but what about next year when he is back in the states?

Ok, I have a question...which I feel rather silly asking, but I'm throwing it out there anyway.

( long explanation is long, sorry )

So, there's this guy (super cliche, i know) and we are practically dating (he told me he is going to ask me out this weekend when we get to see each other in person). We go to the same college and have hooked up a few times. I started talking to him first because I thought he was cute and he started to like me after that. He is really awesome, a great friend, someone I can talk to about anything! We also have pretty good chemistry and he treats me well (and he is an AMAZING kisser). I really like him and I do want to date him. There is one problem though: He is a little clingy. In most of my experiences, clingy guys tend to settle down once you make things official. He probably will not feel the need to text me every single day. However, he has been offering to buy me things. Gifts. We have only known each other for about 3 weeks! He also just invited me to go to the city with him for a weekend, which I declined. It seems way too fast for me! I don't know how to tell him this. If I say that I want to take things slower, he might assume I do not want to go out with him. Would it be weird to say, "I want to go out with you, but you are taking things a little too fast. It is way too early for you to buy me gifts and for you to invite me to spend a weekend in the city with you."? What can I do???

I just got asked out by a very good friend of mine who I like alot. He's really awesome, one of those people you can do pretty much anything and still have fun (including pushing his car down the street after it broke down haha). I'm really happy about it.

Problem: I'm 16. He's 19. My parents are not gonna like it..
My Mom already knows and says she'll be open minded about it but I know she isn't thrilled. She likes him, knows hes a good guy and that there won't be any problems. Only thing she doesn't like is his age.

I'm honestly scared to tell my Dad. He's not an open minded person at all, and he hasn't met him yet. Any suggestions as to how I can talk to him and have him at least give him a chance?

so, I guess this post isn't asking for advice. I guess I'm posting here because my friends offline would just get annoyed that I'm "bragging." It's just kinda something that I'd like to smile about. To avoid annoying people, it'll be placed behind a cut.
( Oh, it is LOVE )

Okay, so here's the deal. Me and my best friend have been friends since 2006.

My friend is the only one out of our little group of friends who has never had a boyfriend. She complains about it all the time, and yet, there are guys interested in her. She's been asked out several times, but she always seems to find something 'wrong' with them. They either give her a kind of creepy 'vibe' or she just finds some other reason not to go on a second date with them.

The other night was my 19th birthday party and we ended up out at the bars. She met a guy, they talked alot, and exchanged numbers at the end of the night. They've been texting each other alot over the last few days and agreed that they would go out together tonight for coffee, however, my friend told me she specified that she just wanted to go as friends. Her and this guy really seemed to hit it off at the bar, and the fact that he's calling and texting her (to me)  seem like valid reasons to think he would like her.

She also seems to just go after guys who are (no offence) but a bit out of her league. She never looks at a guy's personality or anything at first, it's always about looks with her, and then she's disappointed when they aren't interested in her, or when they turn out to be assholes.

Anyways, I guess what I'm asking here is how do I try to help this friend. I don't want to be too harsh and tell her that her personality and the way she acts with some people may be 'too over the top' and make her seem unaproachable. Or that she has no flirting ability what so ever.

Does anyone have any (nicer) things I could say/do/suggest to her when it comes to this problem?

Today is a horrible day.

One year ago today; the 22nd December; my friend's dad past away.
I know this is bad but I am staying away from him today; it may seem selfish but I will just make things worse...

I hope he's okay.x

My mom is dying. I don't know what to do. She has ALS, so instead of cancer or some other disease, we all have to watch her slowly die over the course of the next 5-20 years. In May, she was fine. Over the summer, she used a walker. Now, she is permanently in a wheelchair, and her voice is slow. She is tired, weak, and full of sadness. She will just get worse and worse and worse, soon she will unable to speak. i am an only child. My dad is emotional; he cries almost everyday. My mom cries all the time too. i guess I don't handle grief like that. I don't want to tell how am i feeling to them. I go to college, so I am very far away from them for at least 9 months out of the year. I guess this is a good thing, but at the same time, I guess I don't face it very well. I feel selfish and stupid, because I am distracting myself with meaningless things to keep from facing the shit that is life. I have talked to my three or four closest friends about it, but really only one of them do I feel comfortable enough to bare my soul and cry to because I feel like she is the only one that knows the best things to say. My mom said today: "It's ruining all of our lives." There's just this sadness in the house now.  i don't know what else to do. And now that I'm home for a month for break, I can't escape it. On top of everything, I was in a car accident a month ago, and I broke my shoulder, so I can't even drive to escape it or see a therapist on my own. None of my friends understand, but I don't want to burden them anyway.  Help me. I have never felt so helpless and lost and sad. She is 60 years old. She does not deserve this. Being here makes me so fatalistic and depressed. It's just so hard to be happy now when that is always lingering in the back of my mind.  please, someone help me. Advice on how to get through this? On what to do? Techniques? Methods? This almost feels like it's worse than a parent just dying, because she will be slowly withering away. Please..someone help.

Do you guys think, that in general, once you've found "the one" that you're still going to find other people intriguing to the point of having feelings for them, or have the thoughts of being with somebody else intriguing??