| Insecurity Issues |
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Posted on November 27, 2009 @ 11:14 pm
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I am rather insecure. I don't act/look that way thus none of my friends or family know this. I appear confident and outgoing, but, I really feel uncomfortable with myself. Especially around people I don't know well, or in public/social situations. I always feel I am being criticized, I just feel so self concious.
(This, I think, dates back to my younger years in middle school, where I hadn't yet grown into my looks and pretty much all girls would write/say nasty and mean things about me. I was scarred by things in middle school and to this day when I see someone whispering or looking in my direction my brain automatically assume "oh they're saying I smell or I'm ugly or something like those girls did". It's become a real problem/makes me feel more self conscious even.)
Because of this insecurity, I've lost out on so many opportunities, and I don't want to do that anymore. Boys never approach me/talk to me, which doesn't really help this self esteem of mine. I mean I've had guys stare at me before and stuff, but nobody's ever talked to me. And all these other girls who I don't really think are pretty at all, always have guys talking to them and have boyfriends, and I haven't ever had a boyfriend.
For example; other day on the c train, I got up to get off at my stop, as I was waiting for the train to stop, I looked down the cart and these 3 guys my age were looking at me/my way and one said something to do other one (whose back was turned to me), so he then turned around and looked at me too. They were saying something to each other and laughing/smiling or whatever. I immediately thought, what.. is there something on my face? They were probably laughing at me because I look funny. The idea that maybe, just maybe they thought I was cute just is impossible. This, is a regular occurrence in my life. I always assume people are thinking/saying the worst about me.
And my friends and family all think I'm very pretty, and sometimes I see it, when I'm home and sane and look into the mirror. But as soon as I step outside into the real world, I feel ugly. I compare myself to other girls and I never seem to measure up, even if I am more attractive than someone, I keep analyzing and trying to convince myself that I am. And it never works. I honestly hate this. I want to feel good about myself/not compare myself to others. I know I am a wonderful girl, and I am beautiful, but I don't feel it. Help me?
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| What to do... |
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Posted on November 26, 2009 @ 5:09 am
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Hey there, i haven't posted for awhile now but i don't know what else to do.
i used to cut, i haven't now for 4 months, mostly because I've been happy. For the first time in my life i have been truly happy. See i started talking to my old 10th grade crush and things have been absolutely great, i love him with all my heart and he loves me too, were engaged now and everything. But now hes joining the marines and im so lost. hell have to leave for 3 months to go through boot camp, then right after that gone for weapons training. i understand his reasoning and its what hes always wanted to do so i feel terrible for being sad, but its going to be so hard with out him. ill wait for him but in the meantime im worried that when he does leave im going to start cutting again.
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| Boy ish. What's new. |
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Posted on November 25, 2009 @ 1:48 pm
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So.... I'm a junior in college and I've been dating this guy for about three weeks. I've known him for a long time- we're members of the same dance team, and before we started dating we were close friends and then we were hooking up exclusively for quite a while. Over the summer we spent a lot of time hanging out alone and I went to his house a lot and chilled with his family. The point being- I've known him in multiple ways for a lot longer than three weeks.
He is my first official boyfriend, and so I don't really know how all this relationship stuff works. I tend to be a really private person about most things, and also very passive in most of my friendships and relationships. I give in easily. Despite all of that, I'd say things have been going pretty well. I like him a lot, and he's very attentive. We see each other quite a bit, but I'd imagine that's pretty normal for new couples in college. He has a player reputation and so often I've felt insecure about other girls, but he always encourages me to talk to him if I feel uncomfortable about anything. Overall he's a really, really nice guy and for right now, I'm enjoying myself.
But. Now the issue.
We're from the same area (he lives about 45 minutes from me by car) and so we decided we'd drive home together for Thanksgiving break. I told my mom about a week ago that we were dating, and that we'd be driving home together, and she was excited. She told me she really would like to meet him and asked me to ask him if he'd mind coming over or lunch or something at some point during the break. I was nervous about it at first, introducing him to my family because I feel like that's quite a private part of my life and I really don't like to share it with people- I love my family dearly and I'm really protective of the person I am when I'm with them. But it seemed really important to my mom, so I asked him.
He said yes, of course, he was excited.
So we drove home and, even though it's out of the way, I dropped him off first because he wasn't sure his parents would be able to pick him up from my house (probably for the better, I really don't want our families meeting or anything, that's too intense). I came inside, hung out with his mom and sister for a bit, ate dinner with them, and left. When I was leaving, I asked him when he'd want to come over, and he said, "I don't know... it's really far."
I said, "Please? My mom really wants you to."
He said. "We'll see. Anyway I'll see you Sunday." (To drive back.)
I don't know, I got kind of upset about this. I know his house is far, but I felt kind of lame because I'd driven out to his house so many times and hung out with his family a lot and it felt like he was saying he didn't want to drive out to my place ONCE just to MEET the people that are so important to me. Not to mention I had told him just how excited my mom was about it, and when something is important to my family, it automatically becomes important to me.
Also, after considering it, I just became kind of excited about it myself. I think I really wanted him to get to know them.
Should I tell him how I feel, and ask him to come out again? I don't know. I don't want him to feel like he's obligated to do anything, because I don't want him to come and visit because he's obligated. I want him to want to visit. Part of me feels like I should say something, because he probably just doesn't know that it's this important to me. But part of me also doesn't want to be the kind of girl that's always whining about how he's not doing something right, and I don't want to pressure him to do things he doesn't want to do. Like, from my perspective, he should want to meet my family the same way I wanted to meet his- to find out what makes me who I am. But maybe he's just not as serious as wanting to meet my family, and maybe I should just be okay with that.
:/ I hate being new to relationships. Any advice would be appreciated.
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| its all been said before |
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Posted on November 18, 2009 @ 9:58 pm
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heres the deal- i broke up with my girlfriend 3 weeks ago because everything was turning into the same horrible patter-- phone call (CAPS is me): HI-hi-WHATS UP-nothing, you?-HOMEWORK- oh- YUP- who are you with?- SAME FRIENDS AS USUAL, WHY?- just wondering- OK- yeah- YEAH- why dont you ever talk to me anymore?----- (END) i'll spare you guys the boredom--- but we'd have the same conversation like 5 or 6 times a day almost word for word- she's away at college and i'm home for college so we text alot-- the same thing there- all the same convos--- so we tried talking only at night- didnt work- and then i found out she was going through my facebook and email and thought i was cheating on her--- i wasnt but didnt think it was right she went through all that because she did it a few years ago and i told her what would happen if it happened again---- my theory is if its mine- it has my rules--- so i broke up with her- and yeah i miss her and love her still- 4 years is a lot to throw away- but s*** happens right? i havent talked to her for like a week and a half
now- there are these twins that go to my school- one has a boyfriend- and one likes me- i like them both but i'd rather have the one in a relationship for a relationship of my own instead of a fwb with the other one--- we relate on so many different levels- she always complains about her bf not treating her right and getting pissed off at her over stupid stuff- she just complains and then everything falls into place for the rest of the day--- i know she knows i like her as a friend- cuz our group is pretty tightly knit- and she knows i like her sister a little and she talks to me about that- but idk-- she gives me these looks that are screaming "i like you alot" but they dont show how-- girls are tough-- people have been saying that for years
so here's my dilemma- idk how to make the twin i want to be in a relationship with ditch the loser she's with now for me--- yeah i know its a shot in the dark but if you want something then you should at least try before its too late
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| A.D.D.? |
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Posted on November 15, 2009 @ 2:47 pm
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I've always had problems with being distracted, but lately, I've been getting more easily distracted. At home it's hard for me to concentrate on things; I accidentally focus on something else. I say accidentally because I want to finish but end up doing something else without me noticing. I'm not stalling or procrastinating on purpose! Even when I do something simple like watch TV or eat, my mind wanders and I turn into a space cadet. Sometimes at school I have to shake my head in order to stop daydreaming. Not many people have noticed, but I want to stop before it gets extreme. I don't want A.D.D. =/
P.S. I think it might be because one of my close friends had stopped talking to me. When I space out I just remember all of the good times we've had. I doubt things will get better so I'm trying to move on. Could ADD be a symptom of depression? I'm just wondering because I don't want to be depressed either.... HELP! PLEASE?!
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Posted on November 15, 2009 @ 5:36 pm
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My best friend of five years got a girl friend at the end of November '07, and that was the last time i saw him. Its like we go back and forth between talking and not talking, and i can understand this at the beginning of a relationship but its been two years! and he never hangs out with me or a few of his other friends anymore. I don't want to just say forget about it and move on because i don't make good, close friends like him very often and he'd be hard to replace.
Hes acted like he wants to hang out and do things like we used to but nothing ever came of it, so he stopped and i stopped.
Some have suggested i talk to him about it, but i'm not sure. Has anyone been in this situation before? What did you do?
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Posted on November 12, 2009 @ 11:54 pm
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i have a few questions.. i'm just going through a lot of stuff right now and i realized after starting to post my first question that i had more i wanted to ask.
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Posted on November 11, 2009 @ 1:24 pm
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I hope you can all give me some advice on my dilemma..
I am currently a college student majoring in public relations hoping to graduate next December. So close to finishing, I am having doubts about this degree. The economy is really depressing me.. it looks like I chose the worst time to graduate, huh?
So, now I'm thinking instead of getting a public relations degree I'm thinking about getting a communications studies degree because I think it will give me more options in terms of careers.. but if I do this I will have to stay an extra semester.. I know it doesn't sound that bad but I planned on moving to Houston with my boyfriend after I graduate. I live in NW Indiana, which got hit really hard from this recession. There is nothing here for me.. no jobs and I hate the weather. Also, if I stay an extra semester I would be able to get minors in public relations, marketing and sociology. Do you think it's worth it? Will it be that much better than a public relations degree? Or what about a marketing degree? Can I do more with that degree?
Also, I plan on attending graduate school in the next couple of years for something completely different. I sound so confused, right? lol. I want to get a master's in counseling, I've been looking specifically towards school counseling or marriage and family therapy. Do you think having a more broad degree would help me get in more?
Please offer any insight.
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Posted on November 11, 2009 @ 8:02 am
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ok so this sounds dumb but whenever my big sister decides to sleep over at this house we have problems. Now we get along well otherwise, But i talk to myself and I know that, I talk to myself when playing video games or I talk to the cats, Ill talk outloud to clear up my mind and such.
Well my sister HATES IT, I don't know how to explain it but it sorta hurts my feelings. She tells me I dont need to talk all the time and ect.
Really I understand it can get annoying, but its the way I am and it makes me feel bad about myself. It makes me feel like ill just stay annoying and lonely all my life and there's nothing to change that. Should I just shut up and get over it or am I justified in being a little upset about it?
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| Not A Good Kisser... |
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Posted on November 10, 2009 @ 8:38 pm
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Hi! :)
I have a little problem.
See, I've been in a few pretty heavy physical relationships and I certainly know how to kiss.
I've recently started dating a boy who has never had a girlfriend before. And quite frankly, he doesn't have a clue how to kiss. It's awful.
And I think it's really rude to flat out tell him that he can't kiss, but how else do I go about this? Do I show him?
Any advice?
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| after liking a guy for 5 years, I need some seriouse help! |
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Posted on November 09, 2009 @ 12:09 am
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Well, ever since I can remember, love has always been my direction in life and its one of te few things Ive always cared about. But anyway, I’ll try to sum my story up and then ask for my advice. Lol Ok well it starts when I moved to Georgia my 6 th grade year, and I saw this guy and for some reason I was attracted to him. And then I found out he had a girl friend and all that, so I backed off and didn’t try to totally procue him. SO then the next year (7th grade, duh. Haha) I started to procue him. I became friends with just about all of his friends and everything, but still…nothing. He never talked to me. Until he found out from one of our friends that I liked him, and he had no idea who I was. SO then that Christmas I got very crafty and found a way to tlak to him, but I also want to be really nice (make a good first impression). So I gave him a signed My Chemical Romance poster because at the time that was his absolute fave band (and it still is ahah). And I was such a pussy and wasn’t able to give it to him myself, so I and my friend give it to him, and about 15 min alter he came into my home room and thanked me and that was seriously one of the best 3 minof my life! :D Then he left and since I had to walk by his locker every day after school to get to my locker, that day he stoped me and had this HUGE smile on his face and said thankyou! That literally made my day AWSOME! And then after that I had a really hard to talking to him, because Im so shy! And then the next year when I went to Project Rev. I got to meet HIM because I got to go backstage to see my cousin (hes the drummer of my chemical romance, Bob). So I got my crush a signed HIM cd for Christmas, which after that it was if all 8 th grade year was down hill form there because he wouldsay things like leave me alone (which I did), and fat and stuff that was hurtful and such. Thennn the next year we went to two different High schools, and I tried to move on and I got a few bf’s but other then that I still liked him deep down. So, then the next year (this year) up until about two weeks ago, one of my friends that is friends with him started to talk to him about me, and told him that I was truly sorry for all the drama in middle school and other then that he was really sweet when talking abou me. And since my birthday is in about a week or so and Im having a party, so our friend invited him and he actually said he would see if he could! Which totally threw me off!!!! But in the end he isn’t able to make it but told her that he will give me a hug and wish my happy birthday. SO can someone please help me out with this? Im not really sure what to do, because I really want to go out with him (sinc eIve liked hiom for 5 years), but I don’t want to mess things up…again! So what should I do? And how can I smoothly ask him to ahng out and ask for his number, withought sceeming weird? Also, if you have any other good advice that could help me with his guy, that would be great! (please no mean suggestions)
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Posted on November 07, 2009 @ 4:36 pm
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I've been friends with this girl since I was 12. I'm 18 now, and we went to different high schools, but still talked online, met up once in a while, and remained good friends. We go to the same college now, and I thought hey great i have my best friend with me!
However, I saw her maybe twice since college began, and since, we haven't really talked or seen each other. She's studying/busy, I get that. but with other free time she has in between class after weekends etc, she's with this other guy who is her new best friend I guess. (she's definitely not into him romantically) Which is fine, you can have more than one best friend, but we're not even friends anymore at this point.
We literally NEVER talk, and I've tired numerous times, texting msn in person etc, trying to talk to her saying hi asking her how she is etc, and she always gives me one word answers and kind of goes back to her own thing, so i have left her alone.
I'm really frustrated and mad and sad that I just kind of lost my "best friend". She's never there for me when i need her anymore, and i feel like i dont know her anymore. And she definitely doesn't know me anymore. She treats me like a stranger basically.
The song "ignorance" by paramore is how i feel/things are right now haha.
HELP! What happened here? have I lost my best friend???
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Posted on November 04, 2009 @ 1:45 pm
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I feel a bit confused here so hopefully you guys can help me out.
I've been friends with this guy for 5 years now, we met in sociology class my junior year of hs and his senior year. From there, we talked all the time,sat together during lunch and eventually hung out on a regular basis every weekend. Other people were around some times but the majority of it was spent just the two of us hanging out,eating, seeing a movie or bowling,etc... He became the one person i told everything to and viceversa,and he knew when something was bothering me.
November '07 we saw Beowulf in 3d and that was the last time we hung out because he got a girlfriend. She's 5 years younger than him, shes 17 now and hes 22.(turns 23 in april) Because shes young i think thats why he tended to stay away and not hang out with me at all, or many of his other friends. I could be wrong about this of course,be he used to like me and i have reasons to suspect he still does thus wanting to distance himself while hes dating her.
Now, every so often when one of us misses the other we'll email,talk on aim,etc..with each other so it really doesn't seem so bad.
In the beginning of their relationship,and a few months ago on aim he accused me of flirting with him when i clearly wasn't. So i don't know if hes still hoping,or if its just one of those things where hes letting me know "hey you're flirting stop it."
Over the past 2 years that they've been dating i've been happy for him because he really deserves it after how all the other girls he liked treated him. But sometimes i tend to get really angry and upset over it because i miss doing stuff with him,but its got to the point where i question if i actually do like him or not.(i have no plans to tell him of such things while hes dating her)
And i doubt it means anything, but a lot of people we know insist we'll get married and constantly used to ask us if we were dating yet. Some even thought we were...
So i guess my question is, how can you tell the difference between liking them as a friend or more than a friend. Or, how do you deal with them ignoring you for the majority of the time while they have a gf/bf?
And has anyone gone through this before?
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Posted on November 03, 2009 @ 9:36 pm
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Any idea if any over the counter weight loss or any supplement pills work?? I'd like to know ASAP.. thankyou!!
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Posted on November 01, 2009 @ 9:05 am
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I think i mentioned a few entries back how i liked a guy that worked at the grocery store near my house. Anyway,we finally talked it wasn't much but it was something. I think he was just being friendly with me though because most people ask you how you are when you're checking out,though it seemed like he was making small talk because most bag boys there have never said anything to me other than "do you need help out with this?"I only recall seeing him check out one person in the video dept.and i don't remember him making small talk with them or asking how they were,just the usual asking of information to rent a video. I could be wrong though.
Should i continue trying to talk to him next time i see him?
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Posted on October 31, 2009 @ 1:47 pm
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ok, so my name is charlotte, and i'm 15, and a sophmore in high school. this guy i like is 17 and a senior. i think he turns 18 in april. anyways, we met through our high school musical, footloose, and ever since then i've been head over heels for him. and honestly, even if we have to break up when he turns 18, i'm fine with that. we arent exactly best friends, but he is my friend. he's super funny, and so sweet to me. he always talks to me at practices, and always encourages me, like when we're singing solos or something he'll always tell me i should do one, and he always picks on me, in a friendly way. i like him so, so much. seeing him every day at school and musical is torture, because i don't know how he would feel about dating someone younger than him, and i dont want to ask him, because if he says no, i'll have to see him everyday, and i dont know how i would be able to deal if things got awkward and i never saw him again after he graduates. so, idk what i'm really asking, i guess i wanna know if i should just keep my feelings to myself so we can be close until he gratuates, and keep in touch over the years, or should i take a chance at humilation and losing him for the rest of my life??
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| Flirting Question |
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Posted on October 31, 2009 @ 12:22 pm
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music |
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Glee |
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So almost all of my female friends are quiet, smart, shy girls who aren't very comfortable talking to people they don't know very well. Around their friends there outgoing and fun, but around others, especially boys they aren't really friends with, they shut off and withdraw. Because I'm really comfortable in new situations and very social and comfortable with physical contact (high-fives, hugs, just plain closeness), I talk and joke with everyone, even boys I don't know really well. My friends are beginning to call me a flirt, and I swear I'm not.
My school and friends are pretty conservative, but even so, I think the only reason I'm labeled that way is because I'm not very "popular." I have plenty of friends, but on a "social ladder" scale....you know. I'm really sick of being a flirt for talking to guys, and now I feel like I'm holding back with people to avoid my friends negativity. Should I not care what they think, even though they're my friends? Or should I try to be more like them? Thoughts please!
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Posted on October 30, 2009 @ 5:31 pm
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How do you know if a guy is just being friendly or flirting with you?
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