Holidays are nearly over, and I've done fuck-all of my homework. Well, I've worked on my game a bit, but not much. Instead, I hung out with friends (online and off), made a vid, and started thinking more meta-y thoughts.

Fun stuff.

I like that the majority of fandom is a minority. So many people in fandom have been the people who were never listened to, who sat alone at lunchtime or lay awake at night clenching their fists and squeezing their eyes shut and trying not to cry or punch the wall in frustration.

It means that we get characters. We get them. Fandom sees a character without a name, skulking in the shadows, menacing and scary, and we don't flinch away. We don't assume they'll be the bad guy.

We think "What's his story?" and "Who is she under that mask?" and "Why are they doing what they're doing?".

Look at Origin Stories, at Bob the Haitian, at HP Essays and Metafandom. Look at us. At what we can say, what we can put together. What we think.

I'm proud of us. I am. I'm proud of the way we write thousands of words to explain a theory that suddenly popped into our head and made so much sense. The way we sit there watching episodes over and over or flicking through pages and pages, searching for a throwaway line that we only half remember but when connected with other things, combines to create a Truth that maybe the author didn't see, that maybe the author didn't intend, but a Truth that exists in the text.

We get the stories. We get the characters that live their lives on screen or off. We get the worlds that are created. We understand that it's not just a story - things are happening when we're not looking.

An author is like a magician: they hold up a box and say "look in the box. Don't look anywhere else. Everything there is to see is in the box," and the world says "what a lovely box," and fandom says "you can't fool us," and looks at the author's other hand, under the table and up the author's sleeves and makes guesses as to what the author's hiding behind the table, makes bets on whether the author's going to use smoke or mirrors or a trap door and no matter what tricks the author pulls, fandom tries to understand.

**

In other news, I've been watching a lot of vids lately. Vids are awesome.
Edit: I think I'm actually obsessed with vids. This is all thingswithwings's fault.
Edit2: Okay guys. Guys. You all have to go download and watch Hourglass. It's by giandujakiss, who is an amazing vidder.

This anime makes me kick my legs with joy.

the ❝forget the blues remix❞ meme

Some Threads:

♥ Wicke
♥ Julie
♥ Eva
♥ Nai
♥ Tanya
♥ Kate
♥ TWIN
♥ Yuki
♥ Matt

Drunk people really piss me off.

Unpopular Real Life Opinions Meme?

**

I really want to create a community called fandomsearch, where people can post about fandoms they'd like to see, and other people comment saying "omg, I've read that, it was fantastic. X/Y ftw!" or "idk if this is really a fandom, but there's a forum for that book over at www.url.com" and more people comment, and new fandoms are born or found.

It's probably already been done.

**

It feels like nobody's online any more. This internet thing is a fickle lover.

Today on the train, a boy looked at me like he knew me.

I was walking past him in the aisle and our eyes met. He tilted his head, and his brow furrowed, and the light of total and complete recognition shined in his eyes.

It was like he looked at me and said "I know you, I know who and what you are, we know each others' innermost secrets....what the fuck are you doing here?".

I've never seen him before in my life.

He looked at me like he knew me, and my eyes slid past him and I walked on.

Meta makes me so happy. I can spend hours reading essays about theories and ideas and things. They're fantastic. Essays offer you a look inside the machine, at the clcockwork. At somebody's interpretation of the clockwork. And that clockwork, all the hidden secrets tucked away, or revealed, or created....it's all so beautiful.

Does anybody else share my geeky love? And if so, where do you find good meta to read? hp_meta is fantastic - I've read and printed off so many of the essays.

Worst part of going to a sleepover? Checking your flist when you return home.

Sleepover was awesome, though. There were four of us, and we stayed up all night playing different games (cluedo, pokemon master trainer and scattergories(that last one was at 5am, after we tried (and failed) to sleep)) and chatting. In the morning, we went down the road and had delicious brunch at the shopping centre place, and played singstar for like, four hours. Man, that was awesome.

Although on the way home, I was like "hn. Throat's really scratchy. And my lips feel weird," and everyone else was like "yeah, us too," so...related? Who knows.

Fun stuff, anyway. At least I got out of the house once these holidays, right?

Do you want to help millions of people for FREE? No spam mail, no spending money? Then just go to http://www.socialvibe.com/matthewlush and create an account, that's all you HAVE to do. NO spam mail, nothing. Just sign up!

You guys. Anyone who's reading this post. Guess what? I value you as a person, you're special and amazing and unique, and at no point in your life should you feel worthless. Because you have people who love you. You do.

I read a post on someone's journal today that made me feel really sad. Because you know what? You shouldn't have to apologise for being who you are, for having friends, for changing people. We all change people. We're all changing, constantly, because of our friends and family.

And seriously, internet guys. Seriously. The people you talk to on the internet? The person who uploaded that fanvid that you hate with a passion or who wrote that fic that is pretty much a hatefest on your favourite character? They're real people. They're not just faceless text and spite and emoticons hanging somewhere in cyberspace.

They're real people. They have emotions. Feelings. Things that you say to them can hurt them. And I know, yes, sometimes you think "Good. I want to hurt them," and you mean it. But what if it was your best friend on the other side of that computer screen, and you didn't know it. What if it was your mother, your lover, your child

Think about it. Think about the person you love the most, think about them getting an email that says "lol i think u should just kill urself lol". Think about someone sitting and writing that, and meaning it.

Remember, the person who meant it was you.


I know the internet isn't 'srsbzns'. But it's not a place to hate people.