Technolust: The constant desire to have the newest, flashiest, fastest, shiniest gadget available, even if the one you just bought is only two months old and still works great.

When I was in high school and we were asked by my fantastic English teacher (a biker dude with Star Wars tattoos) for a speech topic, he cited one rule: we couldn’t use slang. I took that as a challenge and asked if I could do my speech about slang – the linguistics of new words. He was bemused and said yes. I got an insanely high mark and at parent teacher interviews he suggested I find a University program in linguistics. I tell this story often, because it characterizes my life – rebellion within the rules.

Technolust is a great example of a slang word that’s actually pretty useful. It’s kind of related to a word I made up – gadgetarian – someone who’d rather have the newest gadget than eat.

I would say I’m somewhat susceptible to both of those things. Instead of wanting to have everything in one package though, I want the best of everything. I have a separate MP3 player, cell phone, flash drive, digital camera, and laptop.

But the price of the iPhone is just stupid. Yikes. I did finally succumb to the iPod world though because Toshiba isn’t making the Gigabeat I liked so much anymore. I hope it works out for me.

<><><><><><><><><><><>
Blogathon 2008
About Twyla's Blogathon

My Sponsors have donated:
$55
How to Donate to Not For Sale

Hello to all my visitors! Please comment to let me know you were here.
If you enjoyed this post, consider helping to stop slavery in our lifetime.
Because nobody should be for sale.
<><><><><><><><><><><>

Some of my posts are a little shorter because I'm working on longer and more in-depth ones for later. =)

Home is where the heart is,
So your real home's in your chest
Everyone's a hero in their own way.
Everyone's got villains they must face.
They're not as cool as mine,
But folks you know it's fine
To know your place

Many of you internet dwellers will have heard of Dr. Horrible’s Sing Along Blog. It, in combination with seeing Hancock recently and the looming release of the new Batman as I planned the ‘thon, which I hope to see sooner rather than later ( and particularly want to see in theatres) has got me thinking about the nature of heroes and superheroes. It’s a topic I really enjoy. I really like heroes in literature and comics and movies.

I really appreciated the Dr. Horrible because of the hero/anti-hero discussion implicit in it. Minor spoiler – at one point the “hero” throw’s the anti-hero/villain’s love interest into the garbage while saving her life, a really poignant thought.

It makes me examine the question of what a hero is. I have a lot of friends who’ve been a hero to me at some point in my life, saving me from all kinds of “fates worse than death” where I could have made really sucky decisions or given up on the positive path of life I’ve tried to choose.

What makes a hero in your opinion?

<><><><><><><><><><><>
Blogathon 2008
About Twyla's Blogathon

My Sponsors have donated:
$55
How to Donate to Not For Sale

Hello to all my visitors! Please comment to let me know you were here.
If you enjoyed this post, consider helping to stop slavery in our lifetime.
Because nobody should be for sale.
<><><><><><><><><><><>

Tell me tomorrow has come

With open arms

Behind your eyes is where I know I’ll find it

‘Cause who you are defines my dreams

I was going to answer some common questions that people always ask. I’m starting with one that they always ask kids.

What do you want to be when you grow up?

I’ve had a lot of discussions with friends lately about what it means to grow up, about how people as they age don’t often feel any older on the inside. I had someone ask me recently if growing up could mean having more fun, and I told them that’s how it should be.

When I was a kid, I wanted to be a veterinarian. That was until I realized that I’d be sad all the time about sick animals. Now I’m really glad I didn’t because my allergies would make it hell… That’s an adult point of view.

In some ways I’m still a kid, and so if you asked me that question now, I’d say I want to be an artist. I wouldn’t qualify, although I have two very specific kinds of artist I want to be, one for the art world and one for the career. I’d like to be a conceptual artist with shows in galleries as my main hobby, and a graphic artist for the job.

But when people ask that question, they always mean your career. Really, when I look at it, we should be encouraging kids to think more about who they would like to be, not what. When I grow up, or reach an age out of my twenty-somethings anyway, I want to be known for my wisdom, generosity, thoughtfulness, the way I treat other people well, the way I care. That’s who I want to be when I grow up. And I’m doing my best to work toward it.

Time for elevenses. Today they made tuna sandwiches instead of salmon, which is great, because I have a salmon allergy and I really like tuna.

I’m living again

Awake and alive
I’m dying to breathe in these abundant skies

My subject this year is Inspiration, and a big part of my life is definition, so in detail I wanted to define and discuss what inspiration means to me. The first part of the official definition of inspiration is arousal of the mind. Come on, who doesn’t like arousal? *grin* Arousal is an awakening.

What wakes up your mind is what inspires you. There are many times when I see other people and I want to wake up their minds, to show them what lies beyond the things that seem obvious. I try to keep my mind constantly awake. Sometimes my body lets me down on that score by my choices to work myself hard or not get enough sleep, but for the most part I stay turned on all the time by allowing myself to be inspired by many different things.

I am inspired by people, places, details, politics, ideas from every sphere. I cannot think of a better way of living than with my mind fully awake. I can’t understand those who find the euphoria of drugs to be a better substitute, or those who cannot see the beauty in at least some areas of the world.

I want to live life to the fullest, with my mind turned on.

Man, I'm feeling particularly productive just now. I'm writing for late night posts when I know I'll be starting to get groggy. I have the B-shift advantage this year though, I'll have daylight on my side tomorrow to finish.

When is it in life that you’ve arrived? I hear people talk about arriving.

The thing is, life’s not really like that. There’s always some kind of maintenance to do on whatever you’ve arrived yet. I only have a year left before I graduate. In terms of having letters behind my name, I’ll have arrived. But aside from a great experience, friendships, and lots of knowledge crammed in the noggin, I can’t say I’ve arrived at anything solid really. Just arrived at another location on the life journey.

So what’s my estimated time of arrival – what is the platform I want to achieve where the rest is just maintenance? It’s hard to say. I’d like to have a career, I’d like to continue to achieve artistic status, I’d really like to get married. I’d like to do a whole bunch of the stuff on my life to do list, and this last year I made a lot of progress there. I’d like to become a ballroom dancer comfortable with advanced social ballroom steps, though I don’t want to compete. I’d like to see the world become a better place, but doesn’t every decent person want that?

I don’t really have an estimated time of arrival. When I was a kid, I thought I’d have arrived by now. But here I am, making adult decisions and looking at an impending student loan. Such is life.

ETA: Unknown.

And my music has been officially turned on because, sadly, I'm already starting to get tired at 10:30pm. My energy will go up and down all evening I'm sure.

The comic "A Softer World" is a very bizarre comic. It deals with things that most people wouldn't say or think. I like it though, because I'm a pretty uninhibited person. I chose this comic to speak about because firstly, it violates the word comic by ascribing to irony rather than comedy. Secondly, it describes a little of the way I feel working out here in the boonies. Don't get me wrong, I'm not totally anti-social and there's people around here a good deal of the time. It's just that I'm rather introverted when it comes to my official definition for introvert - where I get my energy from. I get most of my energy from being alone. And there's a lot of opportunity for alone time out here. The photos on this comic actually kind of remind me of the dining hall here, which retains the presence of people even when they're all gone and the chairs are stacked on the tables. I wonder what this would be like? It's like the common question about desert islands, only rather less forgiving. And probably more likely.



It's funny because there's so many different age groups that come through here, and hearing all their reminiscing is interesting. It's different for every group. There was nostalgia for Van Morrison here last night, for instance. Different people remember different eras. For me, it's Calvin and Hobbes and The Muppets and Fraggle Rock and the first time I heard the Backstreet Boys. Anyone reading this, I'd really love to know what you have the most nostalgia for.



What an idea! And yet, touch is one of the things that we are losing. And it's sad that we do apologize for it so often. One of the things I miss around here is hugs from friends. Everytime I go back home for a few days I stock up on hugs and the memory of them. Touch is very important to me.

One of my co-workers just dropped by with a friend of hers to show her the campus and introduce her to me and my Blogathon. And then I saw the sunset... and so will you.

I am convinced of something that many Westerners would consider heresy. I am convinced that men and women are unequal. But before you burn me at the stake, hear me out.

I have spent countless hours attempting to explain to others why I have decided that I cannot be a feminist in the modern sense of the word, and since the modern sense is the qualifier for what is real, I cannot accept that terminology in reference to itself. I do not believe in what the average feminist believes. I have also traditionally refused many of the feminist ideals because of the innate anger and backlash in feminist systemic thinking, and utopian or dystopian ideas which are unhelpful to the actual cause. Besides, the idea of feminism operates on what I consider to be a fundamental fallacy, so how can I adopt such a label? I would say my beliefs are closer to original feminism from the time of the suffragettes, but still I cannot adopt the term in good conscience. Humans are stereotypists. No matter how hard anyone tries to convince me that applying the term "feminist" to myself is better, I still find reason to disagree because it is not a label I can accept because of the common understanding.

To judge men and women equal flies in the face of common observation. To consider that they should be treated equally is inhibiting to the freed mind. Simple facts support this. Unless twisted science interferes with the process, women will always be the ones with the choice of childbearing. A majority of men will see the world as something to be conquered, and a majority of women will see it as something to be nutured. Those who do not fit this mold often still retain something of the hallmarks of their sex at least in physicality, no matter their attempt to deny it. Scientific reasons support these things as well, a necessity for the survival of the species.

Instead of feminist I would prefer the term humanist, though it comes with baggage as well, and is a horribly imperfect term. The only part of it that I ascribe to is the part that sees the dignity of humanity. And thus I tell you, I am not a feminist, but I am all for human rights. If I am an activist in anything, it is for the rights and identities of men and women and children in every country.

Equal treatment is, in fact, unethical. Such an equal world is the epitome of the Science Fiction dystopia – the equal treatment of all humanity always becomes standardization, a non-recognition of the individual abilities and personalities of each member of humankind.

I propose that equal treatment is not what women ever wanted. They wanted to be recognized as women with all that they could add to the human race if they were properly valued and seen with open eyes. All the individual and collective attributes that womankind adds to the human equation – this is the recognition they desired and still desire. All human beings want to be seen for what they have to offer as a person first, a gendered being second, and an individual third.

None of them desire to be the caption of a man on a washroom door, equal but indistinguishable. And that is, unfortunately, what the word equality has come to mean.

So here’s a post that’s probably more personal at the moment than any of the ones I’ve posted so far. I covered a little bit of Who and Why, and when is clearly illustrated by the post dates… But Where am I?

Last year I blogged from my green chair at home. Home is in Saskatoon, Saskatchewan, Canada. It was mere days after my gallbladder removal surgery. I hadn’t actually planned to do the full 24 hours until I realized that Blogathon.org’s rules meant I had to for my pledges to hold. But I did, and then I got some much needed sleep that I might not have been able to get otherwise because of the incision pain, and I can tell you that this year is going to be cake in comparison.

I have a summer job on the secluded side of a lake, thankfully with satellite internet. I am currently sitting at my boss’ desk, where I will be for most of the duration of the ‘thon since there’s no guests here just now and he’s in Saskatoon for the weekend with his wife. (Coincidentally, she’s on the waiting list to have her gallbladder removed, poor woman.)

I am the bookings person, receptionist, supply run girl, and overall right hand woman for the Emma Lake Kenderdine Campus. Probably the best part of being here is that it puts me to work in a way that isn’t boring. This is a University of Saskatchewan arts campus with a focus on ecology. I try to explain it to my friends by saying it’s like a hotel with cabins and lots of studio space for the artists. Sort of. It’s hard to explain really until you see it.

It’s stunningly beautiful. I’ll be posting photographs later. First, I’ll teach a bit of history.

I’ve given this speech orally to many of the camp visitors, and now I’m adding my own flavour.

It begins in 1935, when Gus Kenderdine, an extremely influential person in Saskatoon city’s art world, discovered that Murray Point on Emma Lake was a wonderful place to draw. Oddly enough, now we’re most renowned for the painters who came here, but that’s the way of the art world because painting is the money sport. (My mediums in the old school are drawing and multi-media sculpture but I’ve thrown my lot for money with digital art and my main artistic hobby outside of school is photography. I am a conceptual artist though, and if you look at it that way text is one of my mediums.)

Eventually the Murray Point Art School was established here at Emma Lake, and as time went on and people heard what was happening here, a sanctuary for art and artists, things started to heat up. From a fine art perspective, the 1960s were the height of the Kenderdine Campus when a connection was forged with the New York School. In 1965 at the very height of Emma Lake’s influence, a renouned critic came to lead the Emma Lake Artist’s Workshop – a feature we still host here today. That man was Clement Greenberg, and I’ve had the privilege of speaking to someone who knew him personally over casual lunch conversation here. If you know nothing about the art world, let me assure you, that man coming to a remote part of Saskatchewan was a big deal. And he loved it here. There’s lots of other important names that came here, if you’re interested.

Here I sit on 55 acres of boreal forest, and a couple of hundred feet away sits a glorious lake. And this is the place I get to blog from this year. I remember seeing the job description and thinking that this was my dream summer job, and despite all the hard work, it really and truly is. I get to talk with artists all the time, and artists are some of the most thoughtful, transparent, and ecclectic people you'll meet. They are all people who don't quite fit, but that's the best kind of people to fit in with.

PREGRET: The feeling of regretting something you're about to do anyway.

I am not the kind of person to whom regret comes easily. Part of what characterizes my life is the obsessive planning of every perceived outcome, and therefore more often than not, whatever situation I come upon has been planned out. Pregret, on the other hand, is more familiar. For me, pregret comes when I’ve made a solid decision ahead of time and then I just throw it out the window because I have an inner war going between my somewhat balanced portions of emotion and logic. In my life, though it may not always seem like it, emotion and logic are the twins that drive me. Emotion and heart tells me that something must be done to help a situation, logic gives me some framework to do it, and thus here I am staying up 24 hours for charity.

Preget in my life often shows up when a logical decision has been reached, and an emotional one overrides it. I’m not just talking about romantic relationships here, though those times are usually the most blatant, but often the feeling of regretting something you’re going to do anyway is the result of being swayed by a person, or by how you feel about them.

On some level I would say I’m more familiar with pregret than regret, but that’s often just because I’m an expert at rationalization, especially emotional rationalization. And usually I can deceive myself into being okay with whatever I do in the end. But that first twinge of pregret is usually a sign. And sometimes I listen to it.