First

• First job:
I was four, and I was in a toilet cleaner commercial. I waved and said "bye bye stains" when my 'mom' flushed. It got really embarrassingly popular, and for years after it I was called the toilet stain kid by everyone in the industry. Lame.

• First screen name:
VaVarner69 . I had it when I was like, thirteen or so. I dropped the 69 and added another Va, for VaVaVarner when I was like 17 and outgrew thinking 69 was really badass to have at the end of your SN.

• First funeral:
My grandma on my dad's side died when I was 16. It was pretty sad. Hard to get my mother to let me go, too.

• First pet:
Whiskers, a big ass maine coon cat.

• First piercing:
I pierced my ear when I was 12.

• First tattoo:
Um... I'll get back to you on that when I get one.

• First credit card:
Christ, I was like 16 or so when I got one that my mother co-signed on.

• First kiss:
Eddi Lane, on the set of a show where we were both extras. She was pretty.

• First enemy:

Chas Andrews, a kid who went to a lot of the same auditions I did - we competed for a lot of roles and totally hated each other. Or well, more like our mothers told us we hated each other, 'cause we were like nine and shit. But this one time we got roles in the same commercial and we hung out for a while and he turned out to be pretty cool. So I guess he wasn't exactly an enemy after that.

( I cut because I care. )

Sexy white male lookin' for a roommate. I cook, clean, do laundry. Male or female roommate, it doesn't matter. Just split the rent. I want the company.

And to everyone else, housewarmin' party? I'm at Murray Manor.

I'm Ellen Harvey, assistant to the director.

If there's anything I can get for you, or any orientation you need - please let me know.

Oh, and don't eat the pink frosted donuts in the green room. Trust me.