Lesson 121
Forgiveness is the key to happiness.
1. Here is the answer to your search for peace. Here is the key to meaning in a world that seems to make no sense. Her is the way to safety in apparent dangers that appear to threaten you at every turn, and bring uncertainty to all your hopes of ever finding quietness and peace. Her are all questions answered; here the end of all uncertainty ensured at last.
2. The unforgiving mind is full of fear, and offers love no room to be itself; no place where it can spread its wings in peace and soar above the turmoil of the world. The unforgiving mind is sad, without the hop of respite and release from pain. It suffers and abides in misery, peering about in darkness, seeing not, yet certain of the danger lurking there.
3. The unforgiving mind is torn with doubt, confused about itself and all it sees; afraid and angry, weak and blustering, afraid to go ahead, afraid to stay, afraid to waken or to go to sleep, afraid of every sound, yet more afraid of stillness; terrified of darkness, yet more terrified at the approach of light. What can the unforgiving mind perceive but its damnation? What can it behold except the proof that all its sins are real?
4.The unforgiving mind sees no mistakes, but only sins. It looks upon the world with sightless eyes, and shrieks as it beholds its own projections rising to attack its miserable parody of life. It wants to live, yet wishes it were dead. It wants forgiveness, yet it sees no hope. It wants escape, yet can conceive of non because it sees the sinful everywhere.
5.The unforgiving mind is in despair, without the prospect of a future which can offer anything but more despair. Yet it regards its judgment of the world as irreversible, and does not see it has condemned itself to this despair. It thinks it cannot change, for what it sees bears witness that its judgment is correct. It does not ask, because it thinks it knows. It does not question, certain it is right.
6. Forgiveness is acquired. It is not inherent in the mind, which cannot sin. As sin is an idea you taught yourself, forgiveness must be learned by you as well, but from a Teacher other than yourself, Who represents the other Self in you. Through Him you learn how to forgive the self you think you made, and let it disappear. Thus you return your mind as one to Him Who is your Self, and Who can never sin.
7. Each unforgiving mind presents you with an opportunity to teach your own how to forgive itself. Each one awaits release from hell through you, and turns to you imploringly for Heave here and now. It has no hope, but you become its hope. And as its hope, do you become your own. The unforgiving mind must learn through your forgiveness that it has been saved from hell. And as you teach salvation, you will learn. Yet all your teaching and your learning will be not of you, but of the Teacher Who was given you to show the way to you.
8.Today we practice learning to forgive. If you are willing, you can learn today to take the key to happiness, and use it on your own behalf. We will devote ten minutes in the morning, and at night another ten, to learning how to give forgiveness and receive forgiveness too.
9. The unforgiving mind does not believe that giving and receiving are the same. Yet we will try to learn today that the are one through practicing forgiveness toward one whom you think of as an enemy, and one whom you consider as a friend. And as you learn to see them both as one, we will extend the lesson to yourself, and see that their escape included yours.
10. Begin the longer practice periods by thinking of someone you do not like, who seems to irritate you, or to cause regret in you if you should meet him; one you actively despise, or merely try to overlook. It does not matter what the form of your anger takes. You have probably chosen him already. He will do.
11. Now close your eyes and see him in your mind, and look at him a while. Try to perceive some light in him somewhere; a little gleam which you had never noticed. Try to find some little spark of brightness shining through the ugly picture that you hold of him. Look at this picture till you see a light somewhere within it, then try to let this light extend until it covers him, and makes the picture beautiful and good.
12. Look at this changed perception for a while, and turn your mind to one you call a friend. Try to transfer the light you learned to see around your former "enemy" to him. Perceive him now a more than friend to you, for in that light his holiness shows you your savior, saved and saving, healed and whole.
13. Then let him offer you the light you see in him, and let your "enemy" and friend unite in blessing you with what you gave. Now you are one with them, and they with you. Now have you been forgiven by yourself. Do not forget, throughout the day, the role forgiveness plays in bringing happiness to every unforgiving mind, with yours among them. Every hour tell yourself:
Forgiveness is the key to happiness. I will awaken from the dream that I am mortal, fallible, and full of sin, and know that I am the perfect Son of God.
Quite often the Course meets us exactly where we are, other times we find the mechanics of the lessons just don't seem to work for us as written, and when that happens we end up modifying things a bit. Today was one of those days. Trying to see light in an "enemy" was difficult; we could catch glimpses, but we couldn't hold the image in our minds. So first, we reversed the order, calling up the image of friends first, finding the light in them and seeing them as they are. Then we extended that light to an "enemy." While that broke the surface layers blocking the their inner light from our view, it didn't seem to give us the vision we needed, there was something else in the way. After a moment, we realized what it was. We had allowed them to convince us that their vision of themselves was correct. Once we cleaned all the ash and soot that made up that view, we saw them as they were, and the lesson proceeded as per normal, though we gained a couple of very valuable extra insights to ourselves.
When we first meet people, most of the time we see them in the light, as they are. Sometimes we pick up on an undercurrent of negativity, a "red flag", as it were. Now, prior to studying the Course, we had assumed that the red flags meant danger and to limit our exposure to these people, because they were inherently "bad". We understand the mistake now. Yes, we still become aware of these things, but we understand now that the negativity is some form of pain that the person is holding, and the only "danger" to us is that we are not yet equipped to deal with it properly. But those are, by and large very rare cases. As previously stated, most people are seen in their true light when we first meet them, but over time that view can become tarnished and dirty, blocking our view almost entirely. And it happens because we let them convince us that their view of themselves as sinful is correct. They act out from their unforgiving mindset, showing it to us to prove to us, and themselves, that when we react negatively to their actions that forgiveness is beyond them, a fool's dream and nothing more. And they repeat this cycle time and time again, with everyone, completely unconsciously, and in doing so, keep themselves and their fellow unforgiving minds in the dark, afraid and alone. Knowing this, we choose to step outside that vicious circle, and refuse to be convinced of anything save their perfect wholeness and loving Self, the Christ within us all.
Thanks to everyone who made these realization possible.
- Mood:
thankful
Lesson 120
For morning and evening review:
1. I rest in God.
I rest in God today, and let Him work in me and through me, while I rest in Him quiet and in perfect certainty.
2. I am as God created me.
I am God's Son. Today I lay aside all sick illusions of myself, and let my Father tell me Who I really am.
3. On the hour:
I rest in God.
On the half hour:
I am as God created me.
We're learning how to do this, little by little succeeding. Allowing negativity to simply pass by us, rather than catching us up in itself. It's amazing how stable we've become emotionally, and, if we focus on our Self, how easy it is to come back to this place of rest and peace when we do lose our balance. We're still not good at remembering all the practices, though we do try. And yet, despite the shortcomings, we make progress, and it seems to be because we will progress be made. That little willingness seems to be the key, and it is not hard for us anymore to want peace, to want to return our conscious awareness to that Self God created.
From this perspective, it seems easy to understand that peace could not come until we wanted nothing else, until the desire for all other things, to be "right" chief among them, had passed away. We could not take our rest until we wanted it more than we wanted conflict and trouble and problems. We had been waiting for those things to "go away," not realizing until recently that the reason they seemed omnipresent is that we would not release them. We had clung to them fiercely, until we were sore and bloody from the effort, not understanding why we were in pain. And then, a little at a time, we learned to see the flaming sword we were crucifying ourselves with, and how to let it go. Once in a while we pick it up again, but it doesn't take long to feel the burning sting and know enough to drop it now.
We are as God created us, and remembering this, we know that rest, not pain, is our birthright, and our Being. Find your rest today friends, it is a gift we have received, and we offer it to you.
- Mood: cheerful
Lesson 119
For morning and evening review:
1. Truth will correct all errors in my mind.
I am mistaken when I think I can be hurt in anyway. I am God's Son, whose Self rests safely in the Mind of God.
2. To give and to receive are one in truth.
I will forgive all things today, that I may learn how to accept the truth in me, and come to recognize my sinlessness.
3. On the hour:
Truth will correct all errors in my mind.
On the half hour:
To give and to receive are one in truth.
We draw strength from these words today, as people we care deeply for struggle with poor emotional, mental, and physical health. These challenges seem beyond our power to do much of anything about, except to offer as much love and support as we can. Today we are reminded that not one part of these men's real Self is at all harmed in anyway by these troubles, nor can it be. So, having forgiven ourselves, we give the gift to them that they may receive it and give it to others, and to themselves. Only then will healing occur.
It is interesting, we heal our old wounds, and suddenly we find ourselves in a position to facilitate healing in others. It's been a very rapid change, and we're still adjusting to it, but we like it. We understand now Chammy, why you felt helping us was so helpful to you. Being a part of someone else's healing process teaches us to listen like no other circumstance can. Thank you, for listening, and for teaching us simply by being. We've much more to learn, but it feels like it will be easier from here on out.
- Mood:
peaceful
Lesson 118
For morning and evening review:
1. God's peace and joy are mine.
Today I will accept God's peace and joy, in glad exchange for all the substitutes that I have made for happiness and peace.
2. Let me be still and listen to the truth.
Let my own feeble voice be still, and let me hear the mighty Voice for Truth Itself assure me that I am God's perfect Son.
3. On the hour:
God's peace and joy are mine.
On the half hour:
Let me be still and listen to the truth.
We do make an awful lot of substitutes for joy and peace in our lives. Convincing ourselves that life is difficult by design, we make do with what we think we deserve, suffer in vain hope that it will eventually earn us something better, and deny ourselves peace in an attempt to be "responsible." Responsible people worry about things, after all. The troubles of the day are never far from their mind. How can one ever hope to solve a problem unless you turn it in your mind constantly? Only the naive and flighty can ever talk about peace or happiness without cost and really mean it. So the world would have us all believe.
But when we look at that, the flaw becomes apparent immediately. How can suffering ever return happiness? Or worry return peace? And when we remember our Self, who can possibly have a problem that is not easily solved? Why must things be difficult? Why is it so very hard to follow our heart, to say yes to joy? Why do we call misery strength and wisdom, while happiness is left for "weak fools"? Today we reverse this insane thought system. We recognize joy and love for our own, and where they are found, so too are our answers. Life is not difficult, if we but do what truly makes us happy. Deciding what that is can prove tricky, but it is a fun puzzle nonetheless.
- Mood: cheerful
Lesson 117
For morning and evening review:
1. God, being Love, is also happiness.
Let me remember love is happiness, and nothing else brings joy. And so I choose to entertain no substitutes for love.
2. I seek but what belongs to me in truth.
Love is my heritage, and with it joy. These are the gifts my Father gave to me. I would accept all that is mine in truth.
3. On the hour:
God, being Love, is also happiness.
On the half hour:
I seek but what belongs to me in truth.
Love is also what allows us to let go, to realize that foundations built on what we thought was love are shaky and unstable, and in need of rebuilding from the ground up. This may mean parting for a time, to learn how to truly restore those foundations. And love is what allows us to trust that no matter the cause of a temporary separation, we are forever one.
Lesson 116
For morning and evening review:
1. God's Will for me is perfect happiness.
God's Will is perfect happiness for me. And I can suffer but from the belief there is another will apart from His.
2. I share God's Will for happiness for me.
I share my Father's Will for me, His Son. What He has given me is all I want. What he has give me is all there is.
3. On the hour:
God's Will for me is perfect happiness.
On the half hour:
I share God's Will for happiness for me.
Ok, so we goofed, and started doing a lot of other things before we sat down with the Course today. Oh it started out innocently enough, as it occurred to me that the chapter I'm supposed to read today seemed very familiar in certain respects to one in the previous book. I just wanted to check it out and see if I really needed to read it or if I could just skim it for points that seemed new. That turned into, "Ok, just check our email really quick, " which lead to some poking around on the net, and from there the day rather spiraled into chaos and confusion, and not the fun kind that has us dusting our hands off going, "Yep our work here is done." So by the time we got around to posting this today, we were in need of a serious attitude adjustment. Lesson 116 to the rescue.
And that's the absolute great thing about the Course. Here we are, spinning like a top, frustrated and just... gah! Nothing really wrong, just wound uncomfortably tight, then we read the lesson and everything loosens up, and flows smooth. God's Will for us is that steady flowing peace, and joy too. Time to sink into that and float along. Life is easy, if we let it be, and happiness is a simple, natural state. Its getting all uptight that's difficult, they call it "getting bent out of shape" for a reason. No more of that for us today, thank you kindly. (Ok preferably no more of that ever, but one day at a time, all that.) "It's lovely bobbing along...." [winks at
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hearts_blood ]- Mood: relaxed
Lesson 115
For morning and evening review:
1. Salvation is my only function here.
My function here is to forgive the world of all the errors I have made. For thus I am released from them with all the world.
2. My part is essential to God's plan for salvation.
I am essential to the plan of God for the salvation of the world. For He gave me His plan that I might save the world.
3. On the hour:
Salvation is my only function here.
On the half hour:
My part is essential to God's plan for salvation.
What a relief that these statements do not mean standing on street corners, shouting at people. Salvation is a sticky word for many people previously or involved just about any common form of Christianity (yes, that includes Catholics, split hairs all you want guys, you still generally believe the same thing: Awesome dude. Cross. Nails. Dead 3 days. Oh Snap! He's alive again! All that.) Any rate, it's easy to read these lessons and get the idea that there's a conversion factor here, or that, as it's our only function, we never do or think about anything except trying to snag people to this side of The Force, or make some sort of grandiose sacrifice for our fellow beings. And it's equally easy to go all ego trippy because we're essential, or turn ourselves into some sort of martyrs. But while saving the world before bedtime seems to be the ultimate, lofty-sounding goal, such extremes are not necessary.
No, it's actually a really simple action. And every time we do it, we make an advance toward the goal. All that we need to do is recognize that our brothers are the same as us, and love them, unconditionally. Now that doesn't mean we've failed, if we don't have a super deep relationship with absolutely everyone. But if the first thing we offer is love rather than judgment (and make no mistake, those things are diametrically opposed), we've done our part. Also, there are little things that can be done, even when no one is around, to help fulfill our part. Knowing exactly what those things are is as simple as asking.
Now those of you who read this blog regularly may be thinking, "Yeah big whoop... been through this before. Where's the new stuff?" Well, for us, reviewing these ideas has helped us come to a new understanding, but a recap was in order before we let this one loose: Absolutely everything we do can be turned toward the function of salvation, if only we approach it with the correct mindset. Household chores, study, shopping, time spent with friends, gaming... name it, and it can almost certainly be used to further the cause of salvation. The decision to do all things, and how to do them, comes down to a simple choice between love and judgment, between illusion and reality, between self and Self. Today we will try to see everything we do as a part of our function, and thus will we be able to do the right thing at the right time, and do it well. And if we cannot see something as part of that function, we will ask, or simply not do it.
Lesson 114
For morning and evening review:
1. I am spirit.
I am the Son of God. No body can contain my spirit, nor impose on me a limitation God created not.
2. I will accept my part in God's plan for salvation.
What can my function be but to accept the Word of God, Who has created me for what I am and will forever be?
3. On the hour:
I am spirit.
On the half hour:
I will accept my part in God's plan for salvation.
Eeek... well that was unpleasant. Not sure exactly how to handle it yet, but at least we know the source of it. Hmm, should back up a minute here and fill all you loyal readers in on what happened here. Alright, so a lot of times when we read the lessons, we immediately have a reaction, thoughts about them start forming in our mind, and those thoughts form the basis of our commentary. Sometimes though, nothing immediately comes to mind because the lesson rings so true for us that it's almost as if nothing else need be said, or it creates a feeling that's more or less indescribable, and usually it's a good feeling, if a little frustrating. (I'm sure
hearts_blood gets that, because anything a writer cannot describe in words is positively exasperating under most circumstances.) However, occasionally there are times, like today, when nothing comes because there's no feeling at all... just emptiness. And not the good kind either.No, this is more like feeling nothing because someone or something flicked the switch and deadened all your nerve endings... Breathing is difficult because you're almost in a vacuum, and there's a stack of lead bricks on your chest, and bars bent around you to hold you immobile. A sense of forcibly being completely cut off from every other thing in existence. And if it weren't for that last bit, we might never have figured out what was wrong: Eeeeeeeeegooooooo Triiiiiip!
That seemed exceedingly strange after the amazing success of Friday... but truth to tell, we had been fighting these feelings most of the weekend, but trying to ignore them. So tracing it through the system, we came upon an ugly, but nonetheless helpful thought: We have been in conflict with my mom on various levels for very nearly all of our life... and had hinged a sizable portion of our identities on that conflict, in part because we honestly never expected it to change. To us, that was real. We hated it, we railed against it, we wanted it to change so badly, but "knew" it never would. So when it did, when everything finally resolved itself, after we came back down from the initial high, there was chaos internally. A bomb had gone off and blew our "foundation" to kingdom come, and we went into what could only be described as "lock-down mode", trying to prevent any further "damage" by sealing ourselves off from everything else.... even each other.
That was terryfing. It's the first time since I became aware of my Packmates that I can remember truly being unable to reach them, unable to feel and hear them, and for the first time since knowing them, I felt truly alone. Like a major part of me was in a coma or dead. Is that what it feels like to go on that medication they make now that wiil "make the other voices go away"? Good lord, how can anyone stand that? Cut off from our selves, how can we ever hope to find our Self? Wondering about all of this, and very afraid, I cried out for them, desperately reaching out mentally to find them. Slowly, the walls came down and though terribly soft at first, I did hear the others answer me. We found each other again, and began to piece things back together, though we're still looking at a massive hole where the conflict with Mom was.
Nice one Nick... indeed once we pick all the shrapnel out of it, it'll be a good place to grow a forest.
So now we understand... and we are grateful. We are spirit, all those bonds that the ego would try to shackle us with we can simply slip through. They are made to hold bodies, but we are not bodies, and so we cannot really make conflict part of our Identity. In realizing this, and knowing that we really do not want to be bound, that there is no safety in separation, only fear, loneliness, and anxiety, we come to accept our part in God's plan for salvation. We hear each other, and so hear our Self.
- Mood:
relieved
It’s my duty as a citizen to link to the following article.
A closer look at the life and career of John McCain reveals a disturbing record of recklessness and dishonesty
By TIM DICKINSON Posted Oct 16, 2008 7:00 PM
At Fort McNair, an army base located along the Potomac River in the nation’s capital, a chance reunion takes place one day between two former POWs. It’s the spring of 1974, and Navy commander John Sidney McCain III has returned home from the experience in Hanoi that, according to legend, transformed him from a callow and reckless youth into a serious man of patriotism and purpose. Walking along the grounds at Fort McNair, McCain runs into John Dramesi, an Air Force lieutenant colonel who was also imprisoned and tortured in Vietnam.
"When I am healed I am not healed alone.
And I would bless my brothers,
for I would be healed with them,
as they are healed with me."
And I would bless my brothers,
for I would be healed with them,
as they are healed with me."
-A Course in Miracles, Lesson 137-
Because we can't think of a better way to put this, here's an excerpt from our conversation with Chammy last night, after we left my parents' place:Chammy: "So... how'd it go?"
Erica: "Well, you tell me... The last thing Mom said before I
walked out the door was, 'I love you; all of you.' "
So yeah... It went well, extreeeeeemely well. The rift has been healed, and from here on out, we expect that there will be few, if any problems where my mom is concerned. We may have to revisit this place a time or two, because it felt like Mom wasn't quite getting the whole "Forgiveness means it never happened," thing, so there were some lingering traces of guilt flying about, but that's ok. She said she felt much relieved, and that's a good start. Took us more than one, correction, more than quite a few attempts to finally get past the guilt. But with a lot of help, and [grinning fiercely at some people, you know who you are] an amazing amount of love and patience, we pulled through that. Now it's our turn to do it for Mom, and we accept that role fully, and more than gladly.
Here's a breakdown of how me and my Packmates are feeling:
Ric: Well damn... til this week I never thought I'd see it happen,
but hell, sure feels good. Hey... you kids ok?
Lizzie: Yeah, just a little um... overwhelmed.
but hell, sure feels good. Hey... you kids ok?
Lizzie: Yeah, just a little um... overwhelmed.
That doesn't suprise me at all hon, I mean this was important to all of us, but I think you, me, and Nick, had, by far, the deepest emotional investment in the outcome of today. And things were very up in the air, especially for you and Nick. The rest of us are older, it's easier for us to deal with the idea of rejection, so yeah I completely understand why you'd be feeling a little overwhelmed right now. I did too for a bit, but I've gotten through most of that. Take your time kiddo, it's a lot to process after so many years.
Emily: I'm with Ric here, I really wasn't sure this was even possible.
You did really well, Erica.
Xan: Yeah, you did. It was good to watch the hurt slip off your Mom like that, and see the two of you be real with each other without feeling threatened. I hope I helped.
More so than you can imagine, Xan. You all have been an amazing help to me. Not just today, but throughout my life. You were there when I needed you most, and today would not have been possible without you. Thank you... thank you all.
Nick: Daisuki desu, onee-chan.
Oh, Nick, I love you too. I love all of you, my friends, my family, my Packmates. [Wipes away some tears.]
And now you understand the true meaning of "I am not healed alone." You have seen only the tiniest fragment of that truth, but it is enough I think, for you to see its importance, and its power.
Absolutely. It's funny how things come full circle like this. The first time I heard that, it was the first time I had ever heard anything out of the Course that I was able to grasp even partially. And in hearing that, I knew that there was something in it I needed desperately, a concept I needed to explore further. Over the past year and a half, I came to understand it as it wove The Pack together, making us stronger and more at peace with ourselves and each other. We thought we knew what, "I am not healed alone," meant then. However, seeing it at work in our family is something else entirely. And we are left in absolute awe of the grace of God.
- Mood: thankful
Lesson 113
For morning and evening review:
1. I am one Self, united with my Creator.
Serenity and perfect peace are mine, because I am one Self, completely whole, at one with all creation and with God.
2. Salvation comes from my one Self.
From my one Self, Whose knowledge still remains within my mind, I see God's perfect plan for my salvation perfectly fulfilled.
3. On the hour:
I am one Self, united with my Creator.
I am one Self, united with my Creator.
On the half hour:
Salvation comes from my one Self.
So, here we are, Friday at last. Now that it's here we must confess some nervousness about going through with this. Perhaps Chammy is right, it would be best to wait until we're on neutral ground with mom before we start the conversation. When she first suggested it, we thought, "Naah we'll be ok, we can get past the old memories and patterns, I mean that's what initially made this conversation possible right?" Yet, as we sit here at my brother's computer, I feel the old echoes of the negative energy that was a near constant here bouncing off the walls, and it is disturbing. It's as if those patterns dwell here now, and are just waiting to latch on again. If that happens, then this chance is lost, and if not permanently, at least for a long time in all likelihood. No, we need to break that old energy flow first, and replace it with a new one. That definitely means starting somewhere else.Salvation comes from my one Self.
And how to start it? Picking up the threads that were left on Monday might be difficult. But here comes the lesson to our rescue: Start with remembering that Mom is one with us, a part of our Self, we are united with our Creator (ooooh, we just got that on a lot of levels there, holy shoes). Then realize that is the origin of salvation, and it is our function to extend it to her. Mom had confessed to feeling an enormous amount of guilt about mistakes made while I was growing up, and we definitely want to relieve her of that. Xan and I know full well, as do most of our Packmates, the insane weight of guilt, and what happens to a person's life when guilt becomes their default emotion. And no one, no matter what their past mistakes, should ever have to live that way. Start there, and the entire concept of defensiveness goes out the window, because we are offering peace instead of threats.
Above all else, let us be still and listen today. That will be crucial to the success of this meeting. [Deep breath] Hokay... let's see where this goes. Updates will be forthcoming as soon as we're able.
- Mood:
hopeful
Lesson 112
For morning and evening review:
1. Light and joy and peace abide in me.
I am the home of light and joy and peace. I welcome them into the home I share with God, because I am a part of Him.
2. I am as God created me.
I will remain forever as I was, created by the Changeless like Himself. And I am one with Him, and He with me.
3. On the hour:
Light and joy and peace abide in me.
On the half hour:
I am as God created me.
We've had less to say lately about the lessons, which is interesting. It is seemingly in part due to the fact that as we read them, they simply resonate as true, with little or no need for further exploration or deeper discussion... we just feel them. It's our hope that means that we have truly begun the process of internalizing these concepts, so that to simply be reminded of them is enough. We shall see.
- Mood: peaceful
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