kitekat1 (![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} kitekat1) wrote in ![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/community.gif){kind=small} a7x_slashness,@ 2008-07-07 13:02:00 |
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Stand by me
Title: Stand by me
Author: Kitekat1
Pairing: Matt Sanders/Brian Haner
Rating: R
Disclaimer: This story is fiction and never happened. I don't own any of the characters.
Summary: Set months after the release of 'City of Evil', the lives of the Avenged members drastically change when one of their own has to deal with the consequences of a harsh stroke of fate. Nothing is the way it was before. Will things fall apart, or can something good come out of the new situation when unforeseen feelings evolve?
Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12 | Chapter 13 | Chapter 14 | Chapter 15 | Chapter 16 | Chapter 17 | Chapter 18 | Chapter 19 |
A/N: Happy Birthday Synyster Gates!!!
Chapter 20
July 7th, 2007
The watch on his wrist read half past seven when Matt walked out of his room, passed the short distance on the floor to his boyfriend’s room, and opened the door quietly. His head peered through the door crack, and satisfied with the scene in front of him he got in as quiet as he could and closed the door behind him.
Brian was fast asleep in his bed, buried underneath a blanket that covered his lower body from his waist down. He was on his side with his back to the window and his front to where Matt was standing. His hands were tucked close to his body, resting again his sternum, moving with each inhale and exhale of Brian’s chest. Short strands of dark hair were sticking up in all directions, a few hanging over his closed eyes.
Matt crawled on Brian’s bed carefully and lay down on his side so he was facing Brian, propped himself up on one elbow, and used his free hand to stroke Brian’s shoulder. He intended on waking Brian as gentle as possible, though he regretted having to wake up anyone sleeping as angelic as his boyfriend.
“Time to wake up, Bri,” Matt said softly, brushing through his unmanageable hair, which seemed even more rebellious now that Brian had decided to shorten it a couple of days ago.
Brian was still steadily breathing through his nose, not indicating anyhow that he had heard the singer or was about to wake up.
Matt lowered his head down slightly and placed light kisses on Brian’s throat and cheek, a few on his mouth, when he felt the other man’s lips beneath his own twitch. Matt pulled back, rested his hand on Brian’s shoulder, and waited.
It didn’t take long until Brian was awake and opened his eyes. He was yawning heartily and stretched out his upper body as his lower extremities remained still. A short moment later, Brian looked up, his eyes focused on Matt, and he smiled at his boyfriend.
“Good morning,” he said in a sleepy voice.
“Happy Birthday,” Matt smiled and ran his hand through Brian’s hair, relieved that his wake-up-mission had not been too much.
“What a nice thing to wake up to,” Brian remarked and turned onto his back, bringing Matt down with him and permitting the bigger man to partially rest on his torso.
“How does it feel to be twenty-six?” The singer joked, receiving a nudge in response.
“I’d say pretty good, but ask me again once I’m a bit more alert.”
“Will do,” Matt laughed and shifted his weight, ending up lying in Brian’s arms, which was, when he was honest, a very nice feeling as well.
They lay that way for a while, for the first time ever cuddling in a bed. Matt knew it was a big progress in their relationship, as well as a big step for Brian. Their lips occasionally met in a kiss, while one tongue slipped into the other’s mouth and toyed with his tongue.
A while later, Matt brought his right hand up and he checked his watch, then he sat up slightly. “We need to get ready…”
“Why? What are we doing?” Brian asked confused.
“I’m taking you out for breakfast,” Matt smiled and got up from the bed.
It was then, fully awake, that Brian saw Matt was already dressed. It was more than dressed, ‘completely styled’ was a better term for it. He wore casual black jeans, had a white dress shirt on, with a tight black t-shirt underneath. His hair was gelled back, looking shiny and healthy; and in general he smelled good, wearing a discreet perfume. He had put a lot of effort into his appearance, and Brian appreciated it.
He got out of the bed, took out the clothes he wanted to wear from his closet, and disappeared down the hallway into the bathroom. When he returned, he was freshly showered, dressed in comfortable blue jeans and a white shirt, and had spiked up his hair – impressing Matt, who had made Brian’s bed in the meantime and was waiting on it for him to return.
“I could have done that myself,” Brian said as he looked at the singer with a serious expression.
“Oh, I know, but I booked a table for a certain time. I just tried to save you some time, sorry,” Matt explained apologetically.
“Thank you,” Brian smiled, not wanting his boyfriend to feel bad, “So I’m ready to go, I guess.”
“You’re looking good,” Matt nodded and stood up.
Brian twinkled his eyes mischievously, “You’re not so bad yourself. Can I ask where we’re going?”
“There’s this new diner that opened up near the beach. I figured we could try it, since they’re supposed to have awesome food, at least that’s what Zacky told me and he has been there a couple of times already,” The bigger man explained as they made their way downstairs, out of the house and to Matt’s car.
Brian got onto the passenger seat, helped Matt fold the wheelchair, and watched Matt put it into the trunk when they were done. He had a question he posed when Matt sat behind the wheel.
“Are you sure I can go in? Have you been there before?”
“Uh, not really, but I made sure that their doors are accessible for wheelchairs and there’s enough space, they got a ramp to get inside too. Don’t worry,” Matt replied and fixed his gaze on the road in front of him.
Brian grinned, happy that Matt was so thoughtful. Even though he was woken up from a deep sleep at a somewhat early time for him, he was in a good mood. He was very looking forward to have breakfast with Matt.
His cell phone started ringing, and the former lead guitarist fished the phone out of his pocket, not bothering to check caller ID and answering it straight.
“Hello?”
“Hey Brian,” said his brother’s voice.
“Brent, hey!” Brian smiled, “How are you doing?”
“I’m doing good… Happy Birthday, old man, congrats. Did I wake you up?”
“No, I’ve been up a while already. Thanks Brent, I’m happy you called. I missed hearing from you,” Brian said sincerely.
For a few seconds, there was silence on the other end, only his brother’s breathing could be heard.
“Sorry,” Brent continued more quiet, “I’m still awfully busy with life. You know, I got the band now, and so many things to deal with…”
“You don’t have time for your brother?” Brian asked softly, his voice not carrying any traces of blame or disdain.
“Shit Brian, I don’t even have enough time for my girlfriend. It’s just really hectic and stressful. I haven’t seen dad in about two weeks now… If I could make it somehow so I could see you, I would,” Brent replied, and Brian knew he had lied. He had heard it in his voice, and he had felt it. It hurt.
“I hope you’ll get a breather soon, too much stress isn’t good for anyone,” Brian said, playing along, not having the heart to tell his brother that he had figured him out.
“Maybe, I can’t say yet,” was all that Brent said.
“Well, you can give me a call then,” Brian proposed quietly, a hopeful tone in his voice. “I really miss you… We haven’t seen each other in months, since the accident happened. We should meet again; it has been such a long time…”
“I told you I don’t know when that will be! Like I said, the band is hard work and I need to focus on that, it’s really important,” Brent equivocated on the situation and cleared his voice. “I don’t have much time now either, sorry. I called to wish you a happy birthday and a nice day… so uh… Look, I’ll call you again when I can, okay?”
“Sure… Thanks for remembering my birthday,” Brian said gratefully, though he sounded disappointed.
“You’re my brother, of course I remember it.”
Yeah, that’s why you avoid me, Brian thought. “Alright Brent, good luck with the band stuff…”
“Thanks bro, bye.”
Brian hung up and let the phone slip back into his pocket. He sighed and laid his head against the headrest, breathed through deeply and looked out of the window.
“You okay?” Matt inquired quietly, worry evident.
“Yeah, I’m alright,” Brian said, turning his head and looking at Matt. “Don’t worry, it really is okay. Brent called me to say hi and wish me a happy birthday, basically the annual phone call you’d give this distant relative you don’t really know but can’t ignore either. I’m a little bit upset about it. I don’t really know what his problem is, maybe he can’t take seeing me as the cripple I am now. I accept that, since it was hard for me to deal with seeing me in the mirror at first as well; but I just don’t know how I’m supposed to change that. He’s completely avoiding me, and if he keeps that up, I’ll never see my brother again.”
“Do you want my opinion?”
“Of course,” Brian nodded and looked back out of the window.
“I think it’s this sibling thing. What happened has been hard on all of us, but I think you should consider that it was different for him. You’re the older of the two of you; he has always been looking up to you. He never saw you seriously sick or anything, right? You always watched out for him, you were there for him when your parents divorced…”
Matt pulled into the parking lot of the diner, the two having reached their destination, and he continued talking. “So now picture the new situation. For the first time ever you really needed to rely on others and lost that ‘superior’ attitude. Everyone that had time to get to know you again after the accident knows that you gained it back, everyone can see that from spending time with you for a few minutes. Brent doesn’t know that. He only knows you had the worst accident ever and can’t walk anymore. It might have wrecked the picture he had in his mind, and he just doesn’t know how to look at you again.”
“Great… So you think my brother is afraid of seeing me because he can’t handle seeing me weak on the outside?”
Matt shrugged, “I don’t know for sure either, but that’s one explanation. But hey, it won’t have to stay that way forever. I’m sure he’ll come around sooner or later. If it takes too long I can talk to him, if you want…”
“Thanks, but I want my brother to see me because he wants to, not because someone persuaded him,” Brian sighed. “My family is so fucked up. My mom treats me like I’m dead, my dad thinks I’m insane and throwing my life away, my brother doesn’t want to see me, and my sister isn’t allowed to.”
“Don’t worry about that today,” Matt said and took Brian’s hand in his, squeezing it gently. “This is supposed to be about you, and not any family members. Today started out so good, don’t let your mood get ruined by Brent being a dickhead.”
Brian laughed and looked back at Matt, and then to their entwined hands. “You’re probably right. I’ll try not to think of it anymore… So what do you say, let’s check out what they got for breakfast?”
“Best idea I heard all day,” Matt grinned and got out of the car, pulled out and unfolded the wheelchair, and watched how Brian easily maneuvered himself into the chair.
They approached the diner, Matt walking up the stairs and Brian taking the ramp from the side, the couple meeting again in front of the entrance.
“Are you ready to go in?” Matt asked and reached for the handle, pulling it open.
“As ready as I’ll ever be, and hungry too,” Brian nodded and smiled, wheeling past Matt into the foyer, where a waitress approached them immediately.
“Reservation for Sanders, table for two,” The singer said and twinkled at the waitress, who smiled back and showed them the way to a secluded area, away from random chatting guests.
Passing the short distance without the waitresses’ help, Brian wheeled around the corner, Matt close behind him, and his breath hitched in his throat.
Sitting at a huge table, about fifty people started cheering and yelling ‘Happy Birthday’ when Brian came in view – Zacky, Johnny, Jimmy, Zacky’s parents, Johnny’s dad, Jimmy’s parents, the Berries, other roadies that had toured with them, other people that had worked for them, close friends he had stopped talking to after that one fateful day, and other familiar faces he hadn’t seen in too long.
Brian was baffled. He had not expected it at all, but broke out in a huge smile nonetheless. During hugging friends and shaking people’s hands, he let his gaze wander and was surprised for a second time.
In a corner of the room was a table full with wrapped presents and little gifts, towering up impressively. A few feet away, at the wall, were three long tables filled with a rich breakfast: bread rolls, baguettes, croissants, different sorts of cheese, cold cuts, fruit and vegetables, dips; as well as water, different juices, coffee and cocoa.
Brian was staring in awe, before he looked up at Matt who had stepped up at his side and greeted his friends with a nod, “Who’s paying for all that?”
A few guests had heard and joined Matt’s laughter. Matt just smiled and looked at him, “Don’t worry about that.”
Matt gently pushed Brian’s chair to a gap at the table, filled up a plate with different things he got from the buffet, and brought it over to the table, sitting down next to Brian, and sharing what he had gotten with his boyfriend.
The idea to have a surprise party for the birthday boy turned out to be something he would benefit from for a while. It was a feeling like back in the days, Brian cherishing the contact to friends he hadn’t seen in a long time. He enjoyed everyone’s company and did not feel bad, like he had initially assumed he would at seeing that part of his old life again. Talking to Matt’s parents about the life and friendship with their son, friends from work and shows about recent music’s development, and anyone else interested in him about his experiences with physical therapy and how he felt better about the strength in his arms.
Time went by quickly, but as there were always new topics to talk about, and more food to eat, no one got bored. Out of the corners of his eyes, Brian saw Matt check his watch over and over again, causing him to wonder if the singer had anything else planned for the day.
“Excuse me,” Matt finally said and got up from the table, stopping their conversation with Zacky for a short moment, “I’ll be right back.”
“Do you have anywhere to be?” Brian asked, being a little confused at his boyfriend’s weird behavior.
“I’m just going to the restrooms,” Matt said, blushing lightly, and put his hand on Brian’s shoulder discreetly. “I won’t be long…”
Brian couldn’t shake the feeling that something was up, but nodded anyway and focused his attention back on Zacky, who shrugged and watched Matt retreating from the secluded area of the diner.
“He seems a bit distraught, doesn’t he?” Matt’s mother spoke up, commenting on her son’s behavior and giving the dark haired man at the table a warm smile. “So Brian how is this birthday so far?”
“I like it,” Brian replied honestly, “It’s a really cool surprise. I haven’t seen most of the people here for months. I have thought about it for a while, actually, but now on this day, where I see all of my friends here I came to realize that they spent so much time with me. The accident shouldn’t change that, they’re still people that care about me as much as I care about them. I… I’m grateful to be alive. It might not always have been the case, but I’m just really grateful I get to spend this day with my friends.”
In no words did he mention the events that had taken place, that had nearly taken his life one fateful night, but the band mates that sat with him immediately knew what he was talking about, and they nodded at Brian, showing him they felt the same.
“And you look so much better,” Mrs. Sanders sighed contently, but was interrupted by Zacky, who pointed at something behind Brian’s back.
“Look, there he is again!”
Brian turned his wheelchair to the side, and came to face with Matt, who walked past him and went to sit down next to his mother, who had scooted to the side to make space for him. Passing Brian by, he leant forward, as if to whisper a secret into his ear, he kissed him briefly on the cheek and sat down.
“Happy birthday,” Matt said and broke out in a grin, his dimples showing.
Brian didn’t get it at first, but when he saw something yellow shooting around the corner of the area they were in, and felt that something crashing into him, he understood.
“God sweetie, I missed you so much,” Brian said, tears in his voice, as he allowed his sister to crawl up and kneel on his lap, hugging her.
Sure enough, Suzy was following close behind, visibly happy to see her stepson again and get to be at his birthday party.
“Happy birthday!” McKenna said and giggled when Brian turned her around, so she was sitting on his legs, and straightened out her bright summer dress; starting to whine somewhat embarrassed when her brother pressed a big kiss on her cheek in front of all the guests, “Briaaaaaaan. People are watching…”
“Sorry,” Brian laughed but gave her another kiss anyway, grinning when the girl emitted another giggle and turning towards the woman that had now stepped up to where he was sitting, “Hey Suzy!”
Suzy gave her stepson a firm hug and held him close for a long moment, feeling that Brian was comfortable with it when he wrapped a free arm around her back.
“You’re looking very good,” she said and placed a soft kiss on his hair, smiling when he gave back the compliment and commented her outfit. “Oh, you know what I mean…”
“I do,” he nodded, “I appreciate it, thank you. How did you get Dad to let you out and see me?”
This was when Suzy looked over to Matt, and responded to Brian’s question while looking at the man to her side. “This morning, your father got an early call from a colleague who asked him to come down to a studio in Los Angeles. There was work for him… He’ll be back in the afternoon.”
When Brian looked at his boyfriend in surprise, Matt simply shrugged. “I only talked to a couple of friends on the phone and asked them for a favor… It wasn’t a big problem or anything, I mean, Brian senior is really good at what he’s doing.”
“Thanks,” he said and put his hand on McKenna’s belly, holding her in place when he adjusted his own position in the wheelchair.
“You’re welcome.”
“Bri, can we get food?” The girl wanted to know and regarded the buffet curiously with wide eyes.
“Sure we can,” Brian replied and told his sister to watch her hands, not wanting them to get caught in the spinning wheels, and swiftly wheeled them over to the tables. He waited till she had put pieces of melon, pineapple, orange and a chocolate croissant on a plate and held a fork in her hand. He filled a cup with cocoa, placed his sister’s plate on their lap, and wheeled back to the table after he had pressed the warm cup into McKenna’s hands.
“That’s so cool, Brian,” she said and ate a bite of her croissant, “It’s like when Daddy or Mommy drive our car. They don’t have to walk far.”
“I bet it’s exciting for you, hm?” Brian mildly smiled, not as thrilled as his sister to be in the wheelchair, but understanding McKenna’s enthusiasm.
It was a good morning. The guests were together for hours, everyone talking to everyone, laughing together, some playing with McKenna, others going out for a while to lie in the sand or go for a quick swim in the ocean. It was a long while until the first guests left, Suzy and McKenna one of them, and Brian promised his sister to open up the present she had given him first when he got home. A little after three, most friends had gone home by then, but still many present, Matt went to the front to pay. When he came back, he stood next to Brian and smiled at him, then talked to the others.
“Alright… So, bye everyone! Everything was paid for, but if you decide to eat more you gotta pay for it yourselves. We’ll be leaving now, Brian and I have plans.”
Brian craned his head and looked at Matt expectantly, “We do?”
“Oh yeah, we do. We’ve been here for like six hours, now comes part two of the day. Someone help us get all of those presents in the back of my car… Zee, Johnny, come on, Jimmy man…”
Ten minutes later, they were back in Matt’s car and out on the street, though not before giving the other a passionate kiss once they had been out of their friends’ sight.
“Thanks for not being obvious today,” Brian said softly, gratitude audible in his voice. “Don’t think I have a problem with you, or want to hide us. I’m okay with being the way we are in front of our friends, it’s just… I want to tell McKenna and my mom- I mean, Suzy, and maybe dad too. I want to explain them and make them understand, you know?”
“Yeah, and I’m okay with it, really. I mean, you know I haven’t told my parents about us yet either,” Matt nodded and pulled into the local supermarket’s parking lot, “I’ll be back in a minute.”
“Okay…,” Brian said and turned on the stereo, watched Matt enter the store, and listened to the radio.
The singer came out again mere minutes later, a brown paper bag in his hands, which he put into the back of the car – away so Brian couldn’t see what was inside.
Matt drove them back home and they got out of the car, taking the presents with them inside. A photo album with pictures of Brian and his sister, wheelchair accessories, socks and other clothes – nice clothes – from his step-mom, CDs, books, gift coupons and many more was what Brian got to unwrap. Afterwards they relaxed on the couch, looked through the photo album his sister had given him, until Matt decided that it was time for him to go into the kitchen, and Brian used the time to call his friends to thank them for the gifts.
An hour passed them by…
“Can you come in here for a second?” Matt called through the closed kitchen door.
Brian nodded, and then realized his boyfriend couldn’t see him, and he laughed quietly, “I’m on my way.”
He didn’t know what he had expected when he entered the kitchen, but it wasn’t what he saw. The sight in front of him had his eyes wide and his mouth slightly open.
The blinds were shut and the lamp on the ceiling off, so it would have been dark in the room if it hadn’t been for the candles on the table, whose flame flickered slightly and draped the kitchen in a cozy light.
At the side stood a bottle of wine, next to a bottle of champagne that was cooled in a bucket with ice.
Also on the table, on two plates, was freshly baked pizza, its flavor floating through the room.
“I’m not sure if you remember, but we talked about what a first date would be like if we were gay,” Matt said in his ever husky voice, attraction swinging in his tone, and he grinned.
Brian laughed and wheeled to the table, knowing where he was to be seated by looking at the toppings of the pizzas. Matt went on the opposite end, since it was a small table he was still in reach, and opened the bottle of Merlot, filling his own glass to a third, pouring Brian’s glass full, and then filling his own glass again.
“Is this our first date?” Brian asked in a strong, but still soft voice, making it clear that the question was meant as serious, and not a flirty banter.
Matt looked into Brian’s eyes, and nodded. “It can be, officially.”
It was a romantic evening. Dinner was perfect; there was no other word for it. It was new ground for both of them, never been on a date with a guy, and never gotten this romantic with previous girlfriends. It wasn’t a cheesy atmosphere, but more of a languorous feeling between partners in love, partners that had just found their match and cherished the situation. They ate their food, talked and drank a glass of red wine, when they decided to grab a blanket, their two glasses, the iced bucket with the champagne, and to take it out on the porch.
Matt helped Brian down on a lounger, and then sat down behind the older of the two, wrapped his arms around his chest and pulled him close. He only let go an hour later, so Brian could put the blanket over his lower half when it began to grow slightly colder, the warmth the sun had left during the day diminishing and making room for the cold of the night. This was how they sat, Matt holding his boyfriend close, the two exchanging kisses and softly spoken words, holding hands, and drinking half the bottle of champagne.
Only when it became too cold for Matt to sit on a lounger without a cushion, too uncomfortable in the dark with too many gnats around them, and too much of a task for both to keep their eyes open, they decided to go back into the house and to bed.
“I think I was just stung by another of those monsters,” Matt complained and swatted a mosquito away with his hand, then bringing it down on his itching arm.
“Let’s go inside then,” Brian proposed and stifled a yawn, “You look as tired as I feel…”
The bigger man nodded, “We should go to bed, then. It was a long day and I’m just beat. It took a lot of planning to make your surprise as good as it turned out to be.”
“You did a great job,” Brian said and pecked Matt on the nose with a grin. Sitting up and putting the blanket aside, he felt slightly woozy.
“I might be a little tipsy from drinking a glass too many,” Brian raised an eyebrow as he involuntary put his hand to his forehead.
“Do you need a lift?” Matt asked carefully, having a higher tolerance for alcohol and not feeling the effects of the neurotoxins they had drunk.
The man didn’t hesitate too long before agreeing, deciding that he trusted his lover enough to admit a momentary bout of weakness, and put one arm around Matt’s neck as the man put his arms around his back and underneath his knees and lifted him up.
“Just get me into the chair, I can take it from there,” Brian requested and was granted his wish when Matt gently sat him down on the seat. “Thanks.”
They got inside and closed the door to the patio. Brian set the blanket aside and put the bottles into the fridge, while Matt washed the used glasses and the cutlery, as well as the plates, and put them to the side so it could drip-off until the next morning.
“Let’s get up then, shall we,” Matt twinkled and waited till Brian was situated on his lift and pressed the button, then taking the stairs up to their rooms at the same pace Brian’s lift was carrying the man.
“What, are you gonna bring me home now?” Brian laughed but looked at Matt with a loving expression in his eyes.
“Well, it’s a date after all. Besides, I live nearby… It’s not a detour for me or anything,” Matt joked and waited patiently till his friend had wheeled himself off the lift, and they continued their way along the hallway, coming to a halt in front of Brian’s room.
“Thank you for a great day, I really enjoyed it,” Brian looked up at Matt with a smile.
“That was the plan, I’m glad it worked out,” Matt said as response and leant forward to capture Brian’s sensual lips in a kiss.
Brian returned the kiss, and they stood lip locked for a good minute, tongue involved, before they parted with red swollen lips and a sincerely happy smile on their faces.
“Good night then,” Matt breathed and his hand reached for Brian’s, giving it a gentle squeeze before he let go of it and turned to go to his room.
“Matt, wait,” the former guitarist exclaimed quickly, reaching for his hand again and halting his movement, “I… I had a lot of fun today, and I liked being with you. I don’t feel like being apart from you yet. Would you mind sleeping in my bed tonight?”
“You’re inviting me in?” The singer asked surprised, not having considered his boyfriend to take the next step that soon.
“Yes,” Brian said and bit on the side of his lower lip, “It’s not supposed to be a voluptuous advance from my side. It’s… it’s just sleeping in my bed so neither of us has to be alone tonight.”
“Okay.”
“Then get ready for bed and come over in about five minutes,” Brian said and opened the door to his room, “I’ll be ready then.”
Exactly five minutes after Brian had disappeared in his bedroom; a nervous Matt stood back at the place where he and Brian had gone their separate ways and knocked, slowly opening up and entering the room when he got the permission to do so.
Brian already lay on his bed and just draped the bedspread over his body, enabling Matt to see that he was wearing a gray shirt and thin long black sweatpants. The singer knew for a fact that Brian usually slept in short pants or his boxer shorts – the way Matt had entered the room just then. It was a signal that Brian wasn’t ready for Matt and him to be something more yet, but just having received the invitation to spend the night in his boyfriend’s bed was a big step.
“Come to bed, Matt,” Brian softly said and patted on the empty spot next to him, his offer still standing.
Matt did as told and walked to the other side of the room, past the window that was partially opened with the blinds shut, and got under the covers.
It was awkward for Matt. He didn’t know how far he could go, how far Brian was willing to go, and what he could put up with. So there he was in Brian’s bed, lying on his back and facing the ceiling, his hands clutching to the blanket just for the sake of having something to hold on to.
“Matt?”
“Yeah?” he asked and turned his head to the side, coming to face with Brian’s dark orbs glistening slightly in the dark.
“You don’t have to be nervous,” Brian whispered, his boyfriend’s nervousness not having gone past his reception.
Matt chuckled lightly, “I don’t know what to do.”
“What would you like to do?”
“Hold you close so you can feel safe, watch over you until you fall asleep and never let you go,” Matt honestly replied and heard Brian next to him intake a hitching breath.
The singer thought he had ruined it all. That he had gone too far, and maybe scared Brian off by revealing the actual depth of the feelings he nourished for the other man.
“Brian, I’m sorry,” he stammered out when neither of them had moved or said anything for a while, “I didn’t mean to –”
“No,” Brian shushed his friend by putting his index finger on Matt’s lips, “Don’t apologize. You haven’t done anything wrong.”
Matt nodded, and watched Brian’s figure retreating his hand, scooting closer to the middle before turning on the other side and presenting his back to the singer.
“What are you waiting for?” Brian asked when he craned his head, impatiently waiting for Matt to move, “move closer!”
The man did as told and scooted to the middle as well. He turned on his side so his chest was to Brian’s back, and moved forward further until their bodies touched. Immediately, Brian pressed himself closer to Matt’s upper body, snuggling up to his boyfriend. He shifted for a while, and finally reached behind himself, felt for Matt’s hand and tugged at it when he had found it, pulling it over so Matt’s arm was draped around his middle.
“That’s more like it,” Brian turned his head again and smiled at his friend through the dark, receiving one in response, and gave him a last kiss on the lips. “Good night, Matt. Sleep well…”
“You too,” Matt said, and began with what he had told Brian three minutes earlier, watching him until he fell asleep.
It took the singer a while until he was able to go to sleep himself. There he was, really sharing a bed with the one he loved, Brian trusting him enough to allow him to spend the night by his side.
Matt didn’t know it when he fell asleep, but this would be the first night together of many more to come, with Matt not being in the guest room anymore, but moving his belongings into Brian’s the next morning – something Brian would initiate after breakfast.
Title: Stand by me
Author: Kitekat1
Pairing: Matt Sanders/Brian Haner
Rating: R
Disclaimer: This story is fiction and never happened. I don't own any of the characters.
Summary: Set months after the release of 'City of Evil', the lives of the Avenged members drastically change when one of their own has to deal with the consequences of a harsh stroke of fate. Nothing is the way it was before. Will things fall apart, or can something good come out of the new situation when unforeseen feelings evolve?
Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12 | Chapter 13 | Chapter 14 | Chapter 15 | Chapter 16 | Chapter 17 | Chapter 18 | Chapter 19 |
A/N: Happy Birthday Synyster Gates!!!
Chapter 20
July 7th, 2007
The watch on his wrist read half past seven when Matt walked out of his room, passed the short distance on the floor to his boyfriend’s room, and opened the door quietly. His head peered through the door crack, and satisfied with the scene in front of him he got in as quiet as he could and closed the door behind him.
Brian was fast asleep in his bed, buried underneath a blanket that covered his lower body from his waist down. He was on his side with his back to the window and his front to where Matt was standing. His hands were tucked close to his body, resting again his sternum, moving with each inhale and exhale of Brian’s chest. Short strands of dark hair were sticking up in all directions, a few hanging over his closed eyes.
Matt crawled on Brian’s bed carefully and lay down on his side so he was facing Brian, propped himself up on one elbow, and used his free hand to stroke Brian’s shoulder. He intended on waking Brian as gentle as possible, though he regretted having to wake up anyone sleeping as angelic as his boyfriend.
“Time to wake up, Bri,” Matt said softly, brushing through his unmanageable hair, which seemed even more rebellious now that Brian had decided to shorten it a couple of days ago.
Brian was still steadily breathing through his nose, not indicating anyhow that he had heard the singer or was about to wake up.
Matt lowered his head down slightly and placed light kisses on Brian’s throat and cheek, a few on his mouth, when he felt the other man’s lips beneath his own twitch. Matt pulled back, rested his hand on Brian’s shoulder, and waited.
It didn’t take long until Brian was awake and opened his eyes. He was yawning heartily and stretched out his upper body as his lower extremities remained still. A short moment later, Brian looked up, his eyes focused on Matt, and he smiled at his boyfriend.
“Good morning,” he said in a sleepy voice.
“Happy Birthday,” Matt smiled and ran his hand through Brian’s hair, relieved that his wake-up-mission had not been too much.
“What a nice thing to wake up to,” Brian remarked and turned onto his back, bringing Matt down with him and permitting the bigger man to partially rest on his torso.
“How does it feel to be twenty-six?” The singer joked, receiving a nudge in response.
“I’d say pretty good, but ask me again once I’m a bit more alert.”
“Will do,” Matt laughed and shifted his weight, ending up lying in Brian’s arms, which was, when he was honest, a very nice feeling as well.
They lay that way for a while, for the first time ever cuddling in a bed. Matt knew it was a big progress in their relationship, as well as a big step for Brian. Their lips occasionally met in a kiss, while one tongue slipped into the other’s mouth and toyed with his tongue.
A while later, Matt brought his right hand up and he checked his watch, then he sat up slightly. “We need to get ready…”
“Why? What are we doing?” Brian asked confused.
“I’m taking you out for breakfast,” Matt smiled and got up from the bed.
It was then, fully awake, that Brian saw Matt was already dressed. It was more than dressed, ‘completely styled’ was a better term for it. He wore casual black jeans, had a white dress shirt on, with a tight black t-shirt underneath. His hair was gelled back, looking shiny and healthy; and in general he smelled good, wearing a discreet perfume. He had put a lot of effort into his appearance, and Brian appreciated it.
He got out of the bed, took out the clothes he wanted to wear from his closet, and disappeared down the hallway into the bathroom. When he returned, he was freshly showered, dressed in comfortable blue jeans and a white shirt, and had spiked up his hair – impressing Matt, who had made Brian’s bed in the meantime and was waiting on it for him to return.
“I could have done that myself,” Brian said as he looked at the singer with a serious expression.
“Oh, I know, but I booked a table for a certain time. I just tried to save you some time, sorry,” Matt explained apologetically.
“Thank you,” Brian smiled, not wanting his boyfriend to feel bad, “So I’m ready to go, I guess.”
“You’re looking good,” Matt nodded and stood up.
Brian twinkled his eyes mischievously, “You’re not so bad yourself. Can I ask where we’re going?”
“There’s this new diner that opened up near the beach. I figured we could try it, since they’re supposed to have awesome food, at least that’s what Zacky told me and he has been there a couple of times already,” The bigger man explained as they made their way downstairs, out of the house and to Matt’s car.
Brian got onto the passenger seat, helped Matt fold the wheelchair, and watched Matt put it into the trunk when they were done. He had a question he posed when Matt sat behind the wheel.
“Are you sure I can go in? Have you been there before?”
“Uh, not really, but I made sure that their doors are accessible for wheelchairs and there’s enough space, they got a ramp to get inside too. Don’t worry,” Matt replied and fixed his gaze on the road in front of him.
Brian grinned, happy that Matt was so thoughtful. Even though he was woken up from a deep sleep at a somewhat early time for him, he was in a good mood. He was very looking forward to have breakfast with Matt.
His cell phone started ringing, and the former lead guitarist fished the phone out of his pocket, not bothering to check caller ID and answering it straight.
“Hello?”
“Hey Brian,” said his brother’s voice.
“Brent, hey!” Brian smiled, “How are you doing?”
“I’m doing good… Happy Birthday, old man, congrats. Did I wake you up?”
“No, I’ve been up a while already. Thanks Brent, I’m happy you called. I missed hearing from you,” Brian said sincerely.
For a few seconds, there was silence on the other end, only his brother’s breathing could be heard.
“Sorry,” Brent continued more quiet, “I’m still awfully busy with life. You know, I got the band now, and so many things to deal with…”
“You don’t have time for your brother?” Brian asked softly, his voice not carrying any traces of blame or disdain.
“Shit Brian, I don’t even have enough time for my girlfriend. It’s just really hectic and stressful. I haven’t seen dad in about two weeks now… If I could make it somehow so I could see you, I would,” Brent replied, and Brian knew he had lied. He had heard it in his voice, and he had felt it. It hurt.
“I hope you’ll get a breather soon, too much stress isn’t good for anyone,” Brian said, playing along, not having the heart to tell his brother that he had figured him out.
“Maybe, I can’t say yet,” was all that Brent said.
“Well, you can give me a call then,” Brian proposed quietly, a hopeful tone in his voice. “I really miss you… We haven’t seen each other in months, since the accident happened. We should meet again; it has been such a long time…”
“I told you I don’t know when that will be! Like I said, the band is hard work and I need to focus on that, it’s really important,” Brent equivocated on the situation and cleared his voice. “I don’t have much time now either, sorry. I called to wish you a happy birthday and a nice day… so uh… Look, I’ll call you again when I can, okay?”
“Sure… Thanks for remembering my birthday,” Brian said gratefully, though he sounded disappointed.
“You’re my brother, of course I remember it.”
Yeah, that’s why you avoid me, Brian thought. “Alright Brent, good luck with the band stuff…”
“Thanks bro, bye.”
Brian hung up and let the phone slip back into his pocket. He sighed and laid his head against the headrest, breathed through deeply and looked out of the window.
“You okay?” Matt inquired quietly, worry evident.
“Yeah, I’m alright,” Brian said, turning his head and looking at Matt. “Don’t worry, it really is okay. Brent called me to say hi and wish me a happy birthday, basically the annual phone call you’d give this distant relative you don’t really know but can’t ignore either. I’m a little bit upset about it. I don’t really know what his problem is, maybe he can’t take seeing me as the cripple I am now. I accept that, since it was hard for me to deal with seeing me in the mirror at first as well; but I just don’t know how I’m supposed to change that. He’s completely avoiding me, and if he keeps that up, I’ll never see my brother again.”
“Do you want my opinion?”
“Of course,” Brian nodded and looked back out of the window.
“I think it’s this sibling thing. What happened has been hard on all of us, but I think you should consider that it was different for him. You’re the older of the two of you; he has always been looking up to you. He never saw you seriously sick or anything, right? You always watched out for him, you were there for him when your parents divorced…”
Matt pulled into the parking lot of the diner, the two having reached their destination, and he continued talking. “So now picture the new situation. For the first time ever you really needed to rely on others and lost that ‘superior’ attitude. Everyone that had time to get to know you again after the accident knows that you gained it back, everyone can see that from spending time with you for a few minutes. Brent doesn’t know that. He only knows you had the worst accident ever and can’t walk anymore. It might have wrecked the picture he had in his mind, and he just doesn’t know how to look at you again.”
“Great… So you think my brother is afraid of seeing me because he can’t handle seeing me weak on the outside?”
Matt shrugged, “I don’t know for sure either, but that’s one explanation. But hey, it won’t have to stay that way forever. I’m sure he’ll come around sooner or later. If it takes too long I can talk to him, if you want…”
“Thanks, but I want my brother to see me because he wants to, not because someone persuaded him,” Brian sighed. “My family is so fucked up. My mom treats me like I’m dead, my dad thinks I’m insane and throwing my life away, my brother doesn’t want to see me, and my sister isn’t allowed to.”
“Don’t worry about that today,” Matt said and took Brian’s hand in his, squeezing it gently. “This is supposed to be about you, and not any family members. Today started out so good, don’t let your mood get ruined by Brent being a dickhead.”
Brian laughed and looked back at Matt, and then to their entwined hands. “You’re probably right. I’ll try not to think of it anymore… So what do you say, let’s check out what they got for breakfast?”
“Best idea I heard all day,” Matt grinned and got out of the car, pulled out and unfolded the wheelchair, and watched how Brian easily maneuvered himself into the chair.
They approached the diner, Matt walking up the stairs and Brian taking the ramp from the side, the couple meeting again in front of the entrance.
“Are you ready to go in?” Matt asked and reached for the handle, pulling it open.
“As ready as I’ll ever be, and hungry too,” Brian nodded and smiled, wheeling past Matt into the foyer, where a waitress approached them immediately.
“Reservation for Sanders, table for two,” The singer said and twinkled at the waitress, who smiled back and showed them the way to a secluded area, away from random chatting guests.
Passing the short distance without the waitresses’ help, Brian wheeled around the corner, Matt close behind him, and his breath hitched in his throat.
Sitting at a huge table, about fifty people started cheering and yelling ‘Happy Birthday’ when Brian came in view – Zacky, Johnny, Jimmy, Zacky’s parents, Johnny’s dad, Jimmy’s parents, the Berries, other roadies that had toured with them, other people that had worked for them, close friends he had stopped talking to after that one fateful day, and other familiar faces he hadn’t seen in too long.
Brian was baffled. He had not expected it at all, but broke out in a huge smile nonetheless. During hugging friends and shaking people’s hands, he let his gaze wander and was surprised for a second time.
In a corner of the room was a table full with wrapped presents and little gifts, towering up impressively. A few feet away, at the wall, were three long tables filled with a rich breakfast: bread rolls, baguettes, croissants, different sorts of cheese, cold cuts, fruit and vegetables, dips; as well as water, different juices, coffee and cocoa.
Brian was staring in awe, before he looked up at Matt who had stepped up at his side and greeted his friends with a nod, “Who’s paying for all that?”
A few guests had heard and joined Matt’s laughter. Matt just smiled and looked at him, “Don’t worry about that.”
Matt gently pushed Brian’s chair to a gap at the table, filled up a plate with different things he got from the buffet, and brought it over to the table, sitting down next to Brian, and sharing what he had gotten with his boyfriend.
The idea to have a surprise party for the birthday boy turned out to be something he would benefit from for a while. It was a feeling like back in the days, Brian cherishing the contact to friends he hadn’t seen in a long time. He enjoyed everyone’s company and did not feel bad, like he had initially assumed he would at seeing that part of his old life again. Talking to Matt’s parents about the life and friendship with their son, friends from work and shows about recent music’s development, and anyone else interested in him about his experiences with physical therapy and how he felt better about the strength in his arms.
Time went by quickly, but as there were always new topics to talk about, and more food to eat, no one got bored. Out of the corners of his eyes, Brian saw Matt check his watch over and over again, causing him to wonder if the singer had anything else planned for the day.
“Excuse me,” Matt finally said and got up from the table, stopping their conversation with Zacky for a short moment, “I’ll be right back.”
“Do you have anywhere to be?” Brian asked, being a little confused at his boyfriend’s weird behavior.
“I’m just going to the restrooms,” Matt said, blushing lightly, and put his hand on Brian’s shoulder discreetly. “I won’t be long…”
Brian couldn’t shake the feeling that something was up, but nodded anyway and focused his attention back on Zacky, who shrugged and watched Matt retreating from the secluded area of the diner.
“He seems a bit distraught, doesn’t he?” Matt’s mother spoke up, commenting on her son’s behavior and giving the dark haired man at the table a warm smile. “So Brian how is this birthday so far?”
“I like it,” Brian replied honestly, “It’s a really cool surprise. I haven’t seen most of the people here for months. I have thought about it for a while, actually, but now on this day, where I see all of my friends here I came to realize that they spent so much time with me. The accident shouldn’t change that, they’re still people that care about me as much as I care about them. I… I’m grateful to be alive. It might not always have been the case, but I’m just really grateful I get to spend this day with my friends.”
In no words did he mention the events that had taken place, that had nearly taken his life one fateful night, but the band mates that sat with him immediately knew what he was talking about, and they nodded at Brian, showing him they felt the same.
“And you look so much better,” Mrs. Sanders sighed contently, but was interrupted by Zacky, who pointed at something behind Brian’s back.
“Look, there he is again!”
Brian turned his wheelchair to the side, and came to face with Matt, who walked past him and went to sit down next to his mother, who had scooted to the side to make space for him. Passing Brian by, he leant forward, as if to whisper a secret into his ear, he kissed him briefly on the cheek and sat down.
“Happy birthday,” Matt said and broke out in a grin, his dimples showing.
Brian didn’t get it at first, but when he saw something yellow shooting around the corner of the area they were in, and felt that something crashing into him, he understood.
“God sweetie, I missed you so much,” Brian said, tears in his voice, as he allowed his sister to crawl up and kneel on his lap, hugging her.
Sure enough, Suzy was following close behind, visibly happy to see her stepson again and get to be at his birthday party.
“Happy birthday!” McKenna said and giggled when Brian turned her around, so she was sitting on his legs, and straightened out her bright summer dress; starting to whine somewhat embarrassed when her brother pressed a big kiss on her cheek in front of all the guests, “Briaaaaaaan. People are watching…”
“Sorry,” Brian laughed but gave her another kiss anyway, grinning when the girl emitted another giggle and turning towards the woman that had now stepped up to where he was sitting, “Hey Suzy!”
Suzy gave her stepson a firm hug and held him close for a long moment, feeling that Brian was comfortable with it when he wrapped a free arm around her back.
“You’re looking very good,” she said and placed a soft kiss on his hair, smiling when he gave back the compliment and commented her outfit. “Oh, you know what I mean…”
“I do,” he nodded, “I appreciate it, thank you. How did you get Dad to let you out and see me?”
This was when Suzy looked over to Matt, and responded to Brian’s question while looking at the man to her side. “This morning, your father got an early call from a colleague who asked him to come down to a studio in Los Angeles. There was work for him… He’ll be back in the afternoon.”
When Brian looked at his boyfriend in surprise, Matt simply shrugged. “I only talked to a couple of friends on the phone and asked them for a favor… It wasn’t a big problem or anything, I mean, Brian senior is really good at what he’s doing.”
“Thanks,” he said and put his hand on McKenna’s belly, holding her in place when he adjusted his own position in the wheelchair.
“You’re welcome.”
“Bri, can we get food?” The girl wanted to know and regarded the buffet curiously with wide eyes.
“Sure we can,” Brian replied and told his sister to watch her hands, not wanting them to get caught in the spinning wheels, and swiftly wheeled them over to the tables. He waited till she had put pieces of melon, pineapple, orange and a chocolate croissant on a plate and held a fork in her hand. He filled a cup with cocoa, placed his sister’s plate on their lap, and wheeled back to the table after he had pressed the warm cup into McKenna’s hands.
“That’s so cool, Brian,” she said and ate a bite of her croissant, “It’s like when Daddy or Mommy drive our car. They don’t have to walk far.”
“I bet it’s exciting for you, hm?” Brian mildly smiled, not as thrilled as his sister to be in the wheelchair, but understanding McKenna’s enthusiasm.
It was a good morning. The guests were together for hours, everyone talking to everyone, laughing together, some playing with McKenna, others going out for a while to lie in the sand or go for a quick swim in the ocean. It was a long while until the first guests left, Suzy and McKenna one of them, and Brian promised his sister to open up the present she had given him first when he got home. A little after three, most friends had gone home by then, but still many present, Matt went to the front to pay. When he came back, he stood next to Brian and smiled at him, then talked to the others.
“Alright… So, bye everyone! Everything was paid for, but if you decide to eat more you gotta pay for it yourselves. We’ll be leaving now, Brian and I have plans.”
Brian craned his head and looked at Matt expectantly, “We do?”
“Oh yeah, we do. We’ve been here for like six hours, now comes part two of the day. Someone help us get all of those presents in the back of my car… Zee, Johnny, come on, Jimmy man…”
Ten minutes later, they were back in Matt’s car and out on the street, though not before giving the other a passionate kiss once they had been out of their friends’ sight.
“Thanks for not being obvious today,” Brian said softly, gratitude audible in his voice. “Don’t think I have a problem with you, or want to hide us. I’m okay with being the way we are in front of our friends, it’s just… I want to tell McKenna and my mom- I mean, Suzy, and maybe dad too. I want to explain them and make them understand, you know?”
“Yeah, and I’m okay with it, really. I mean, you know I haven’t told my parents about us yet either,” Matt nodded and pulled into the local supermarket’s parking lot, “I’ll be back in a minute.”
“Okay…,” Brian said and turned on the stereo, watched Matt enter the store, and listened to the radio.
The singer came out again mere minutes later, a brown paper bag in his hands, which he put into the back of the car – away so Brian couldn’t see what was inside.
Matt drove them back home and they got out of the car, taking the presents with them inside. A photo album with pictures of Brian and his sister, wheelchair accessories, socks and other clothes – nice clothes – from his step-mom, CDs, books, gift coupons and many more was what Brian got to unwrap. Afterwards they relaxed on the couch, looked through the photo album his sister had given him, until Matt decided that it was time for him to go into the kitchen, and Brian used the time to call his friends to thank them for the gifts.
An hour passed them by…
“Can you come in here for a second?” Matt called through the closed kitchen door.
Brian nodded, and then realized his boyfriend couldn’t see him, and he laughed quietly, “I’m on my way.”
He didn’t know what he had expected when he entered the kitchen, but it wasn’t what he saw. The sight in front of him had his eyes wide and his mouth slightly open.
The blinds were shut and the lamp on the ceiling off, so it would have been dark in the room if it hadn’t been for the candles on the table, whose flame flickered slightly and draped the kitchen in a cozy light.
At the side stood a bottle of wine, next to a bottle of champagne that was cooled in a bucket with ice.
Also on the table, on two plates, was freshly baked pizza, its flavor floating through the room.
“I’m not sure if you remember, but we talked about what a first date would be like if we were gay,” Matt said in his ever husky voice, attraction swinging in his tone, and he grinned.
Brian laughed and wheeled to the table, knowing where he was to be seated by looking at the toppings of the pizzas. Matt went on the opposite end, since it was a small table he was still in reach, and opened the bottle of Merlot, filling his own glass to a third, pouring Brian’s glass full, and then filling his own glass again.
“Is this our first date?” Brian asked in a strong, but still soft voice, making it clear that the question was meant as serious, and not a flirty banter.
Matt looked into Brian’s eyes, and nodded. “It can be, officially.”
It was a romantic evening. Dinner was perfect; there was no other word for it. It was new ground for both of them, never been on a date with a guy, and never gotten this romantic with previous girlfriends. It wasn’t a cheesy atmosphere, but more of a languorous feeling between partners in love, partners that had just found their match and cherished the situation. They ate their food, talked and drank a glass of red wine, when they decided to grab a blanket, their two glasses, the iced bucket with the champagne, and to take it out on the porch.
Matt helped Brian down on a lounger, and then sat down behind the older of the two, wrapped his arms around his chest and pulled him close. He only let go an hour later, so Brian could put the blanket over his lower half when it began to grow slightly colder, the warmth the sun had left during the day diminishing and making room for the cold of the night. This was how they sat, Matt holding his boyfriend close, the two exchanging kisses and softly spoken words, holding hands, and drinking half the bottle of champagne.
Only when it became too cold for Matt to sit on a lounger without a cushion, too uncomfortable in the dark with too many gnats around them, and too much of a task for both to keep their eyes open, they decided to go back into the house and to bed.
“I think I was just stung by another of those monsters,” Matt complained and swatted a mosquito away with his hand, then bringing it down on his itching arm.
“Let’s go inside then,” Brian proposed and stifled a yawn, “You look as tired as I feel…”
The bigger man nodded, “We should go to bed, then. It was a long day and I’m just beat. It took a lot of planning to make your surprise as good as it turned out to be.”
“You did a great job,” Brian said and pecked Matt on the nose with a grin. Sitting up and putting the blanket aside, he felt slightly woozy.
“I might be a little tipsy from drinking a glass too many,” Brian raised an eyebrow as he involuntary put his hand to his forehead.
“Do you need a lift?” Matt asked carefully, having a higher tolerance for alcohol and not feeling the effects of the neurotoxins they had drunk.
The man didn’t hesitate too long before agreeing, deciding that he trusted his lover enough to admit a momentary bout of weakness, and put one arm around Matt’s neck as the man put his arms around his back and underneath his knees and lifted him up.
“Just get me into the chair, I can take it from there,” Brian requested and was granted his wish when Matt gently sat him down on the seat. “Thanks.”
They got inside and closed the door to the patio. Brian set the blanket aside and put the bottles into the fridge, while Matt washed the used glasses and the cutlery, as well as the plates, and put them to the side so it could drip-off until the next morning.
“Let’s get up then, shall we,” Matt twinkled and waited till Brian was situated on his lift and pressed the button, then taking the stairs up to their rooms at the same pace Brian’s lift was carrying the man.
“What, are you gonna bring me home now?” Brian laughed but looked at Matt with a loving expression in his eyes.
“Well, it’s a date after all. Besides, I live nearby… It’s not a detour for me or anything,” Matt joked and waited patiently till his friend had wheeled himself off the lift, and they continued their way along the hallway, coming to a halt in front of Brian’s room.
“Thank you for a great day, I really enjoyed it,” Brian looked up at Matt with a smile.
“That was the plan, I’m glad it worked out,” Matt said as response and leant forward to capture Brian’s sensual lips in a kiss.
Brian returned the kiss, and they stood lip locked for a good minute, tongue involved, before they parted with red swollen lips and a sincerely happy smile on their faces.
“Good night then,” Matt breathed and his hand reached for Brian’s, giving it a gentle squeeze before he let go of it and turned to go to his room.
“Matt, wait,” the former guitarist exclaimed quickly, reaching for his hand again and halting his movement, “I… I had a lot of fun today, and I liked being with you. I don’t feel like being apart from you yet. Would you mind sleeping in my bed tonight?”
“You’re inviting me in?” The singer asked surprised, not having considered his boyfriend to take the next step that soon.
“Yes,” Brian said and bit on the side of his lower lip, “It’s not supposed to be a voluptuous advance from my side. It’s… it’s just sleeping in my bed so neither of us has to be alone tonight.”
“Okay.”
“Then get ready for bed and come over in about five minutes,” Brian said and opened the door to his room, “I’ll be ready then.”
Exactly five minutes after Brian had disappeared in his bedroom; a nervous Matt stood back at the place where he and Brian had gone their separate ways and knocked, slowly opening up and entering the room when he got the permission to do so.
Brian already lay on his bed and just draped the bedspread over his body, enabling Matt to see that he was wearing a gray shirt and thin long black sweatpants. The singer knew for a fact that Brian usually slept in short pants or his boxer shorts – the way Matt had entered the room just then. It was a signal that Brian wasn’t ready for Matt and him to be something more yet, but just having received the invitation to spend the night in his boyfriend’s bed was a big step.
“Come to bed, Matt,” Brian softly said and patted on the empty spot next to him, his offer still standing.
Matt did as told and walked to the other side of the room, past the window that was partially opened with the blinds shut, and got under the covers.
It was awkward for Matt. He didn’t know how far he could go, how far Brian was willing to go, and what he could put up with. So there he was in Brian’s bed, lying on his back and facing the ceiling, his hands clutching to the blanket just for the sake of having something to hold on to.
“Matt?”
“Yeah?” he asked and turned his head to the side, coming to face with Brian’s dark orbs glistening slightly in the dark.
“You don’t have to be nervous,” Brian whispered, his boyfriend’s nervousness not having gone past his reception.
Matt chuckled lightly, “I don’t know what to do.”
“What would you like to do?”
“Hold you close so you can feel safe, watch over you until you fall asleep and never let you go,” Matt honestly replied and heard Brian next to him intake a hitching breath.
The singer thought he had ruined it all. That he had gone too far, and maybe scared Brian off by revealing the actual depth of the feelings he nourished for the other man.
“Brian, I’m sorry,” he stammered out when neither of them had moved or said anything for a while, “I didn’t mean to –”
“No,” Brian shushed his friend by putting his index finger on Matt’s lips, “Don’t apologize. You haven’t done anything wrong.”
Matt nodded, and watched Brian’s figure retreating his hand, scooting closer to the middle before turning on the other side and presenting his back to the singer.
“What are you waiting for?” Brian asked when he craned his head, impatiently waiting for Matt to move, “move closer!”
The man did as told and scooted to the middle as well. He turned on his side so his chest was to Brian’s back, and moved forward further until their bodies touched. Immediately, Brian pressed himself closer to Matt’s upper body, snuggling up to his boyfriend. He shifted for a while, and finally reached behind himself, felt for Matt’s hand and tugged at it when he had found it, pulling it over so Matt’s arm was draped around his middle.
“That’s more like it,” Brian turned his head again and smiled at his friend through the dark, receiving one in response, and gave him a last kiss on the lips. “Good night, Matt. Sleep well…”
“You too,” Matt said, and began with what he had told Brian three minutes earlier, watching him until he fell asleep.
It took the singer a while until he was able to go to sleep himself. There he was, really sharing a bed with the one he loved, Brian trusting him enough to allow him to spend the night by his side.
Matt didn’t know it when he fell asleep, but this would be the first night together of many more to come, with Matt not being in the guest room anymore, but moving his belongings into Brian’s the next morning – something Brian would initiate after breakfast.
