Photographs [12 Oct 2008|08:06pm] mithmetwen [ mood | creative ] I hate photographs of myself in general. My self-image problems stem from generally having a crap time in school and being the 'ugly duckling'. In school people wouldn't let me forget this, and many of the words that were said to me back then stuck in my mind. Despite being older, and wiser, and knowing myself a whole lot better, there is still a 15 year old girl in me who hates looking in the mirror and remembers the words of her peers. It takes a lot for me to find a photograph of myself that I actually like, and I am thankful to the creators of photo-editing software for giving me the ability to adapt photos to cover the flaws I so hate in myself, or to change the colouring of a photo to make it look more edited and distract from the fact it is me. I had some fun with such things last night and thought I'd show you what I mean :)                    3 comments|post comment

Saturday Survey [11 Oct 2008|12:28pm] mithmetwen [ mood | ditzy ] Stolen from cazzicles  10 things you wish you could say to ten different people right now: - Please just open your eyes and see how your actions have caused all of this. Your words and your actions never seem to match. - Things are going to get better - but the change can only begin with you. You know I'm always here for you. - Be careful, my darling, and keep your head in these new experiences - you are going to have the time of your life! - JUST GO FOR IT! - I love you, I miss you and don't want to lose you - please help me make sure that won't happen. - I am so proud of you for everything you have achieved and your strength and courage through all you have been through. You are my hero. - You telling me that you are not sure makes me scared - you've always been a steady point in my life. -  I miss what we had and don't know if it will ever return. - I don't miss you but I do wonder if you are okay. - I wish we had taken the chances we were given when we were younger - now it just all seems too late. I will always smile at the memories. 09 things about yourself: - I used to dream of being a doctor until I realised I hadn't the actual scientific mind that appears to be required for such a task! Thankfully I realised it pretty quickly. - I have the worst case of restlessness. Whenever I am in the one place for any great length of time, or in the same job, I get restless and want to try something new. As a primary school teacher I at least get a different group of children every year! - In honestly don't know if I will always work as a teacher......again the restlessness sets in and I would like to pursue other things too. - I often play the 'glue' roll in friendships and am fiercely loyal to my friends - which sometimes causes more harm than good as I can't see past the loyalty when I should really be angry or frustrated with them. - I'm a master of 'party happy face' and can cover up my emotions ridiculously well. Often when I've been hurt, very few people will ever know. - I hate confrontations and will avoid them as much as I can. - I have never learned to drive yet, as when I attempted it I found I got faaaar too easily distracted and would probably be a danger on the roads! - I have been playing the flute for 16 years. I also play the saxophone, and the piano and I went through a brief spell of the drums. - I don't for a second understand the 'global credit crisis' happening right now. - I find joy in artistic activities and use it as my relaxation - playing music or listening to it, painting, writing, reading.....anything that involves some creativity. 08 ways to win your heart: - Make me laugh and laugh with me. - Be honest with me and be someone I can trust. - Have a passion and believe in something. - Love your family and friends and demonstrate that love. - Be accepting of other peoples flaws - especially mine. - Be genuine. - Love music and get ridiculously excited over some obscure song that speaks to you! - Believe in me. 07 things that cross your mind a lot: - My friends - How strange a city Prague can be. - What I'm going to have for dinner. - "Am I doing the right thing?!" - Something I forgot about and I need to urgently do! - How much I want to be back in my bed - Daydreams about huge hugs when I visit home again! 06 things you do before you fall asleep: - Brush my teeth. - Put on my pyjamas - Switch on a DVD to drift off to sleep to!. - Set my alarm clock - Settle the kittens - usually cuddled up on my bed somewhere.. - Get comfortable and hope for a proper sleep right through the night. 05 people who mean a lot: - My family (as a unit!) - Kirsty - Thomas, - Certain other friends who won't fit into the 5 people category but they know who they are :) - People I've lost (family members and friends) - they still mean a lot. 04 things you're wearing right now: - Old baggy jeans - Purple vest top - Silver cardie over the top - Fluffy slippers :) 03 songs that you listen to often (currently): - Heart Of The Matter by India Arie - This One's Gonna Bruise - Beth Orton - Lost - Coldplay 02 things you want to do before you die: - Marry and have a family of my own. - Complete my 'list'. 01 confession: - I'm used to believe in the 'good in people' but as I get older, I find that belief drifting away......it's still there but not as strong and it is very difficult to know how long it will be there. 4 comments|post comment

Um ...? [08 Oct 2008|06:22pm] vanita See more Paris Hilton videos at Funny or Die 4 comments|post comment

[08 Oct 2008|12:13am] anorange_sky Robert Downey Jr; Calista Flockhart/Ally McBeal; Britney Spears; Christina Ricci; Friends; Vanessa Paradis; Michael Jackson Preveiw    credit, comment, enjoy (=   ( right here )   4 comments|post comment

Happy Birthday! [06 Oct 2008|07:22pm] vanita [ mood | jubilant ] Liebe Itty, ich hoffe, Du hast einen wunderschönen Tag. Lass Dich feiern, und genieß das Leben, ja? Ich denk an Dich und hab Dich gern. 2 comments|post comment

Mahlzeit [05 Oct 2008|09:43pm] vanita Originelles Kochbuch. 3 comments|post comment

Clothes Swapping, Forgiveness, Babies and a Meme [05 Oct 2008|11:04am] mithmetwen [ mood | cheerful ] I had roughly 20 girls in my flat last night for 'Clothes Swap'. It was possibly the most people who had ever been in my flat at the one time and I was impressed with how I managed it. It was also 20 girls searching through piles of unwanted clothes and claiming what they would like, trying on, deciding for or against. It was hilariously crazy. I always feel a little stressed out when entertaining but last night seemed to flow well and everyone seemed to enjoy themselves - the kittens especially got spoiled rotten! I'm spending today on the recovery of a semblance of normality in my apartment. Shouldn't take too long :) I've had a song running round my head for the past week - India Arie's cover of Don Henley's 'Heart of the Matter'. It's a beautiful cover, and the lyrics have stuck with me quite a bit. I got the call today That I didn't wanna hear But I knew that it would come An old, true friend of ours was talkin' on the phone She said you'd found someone And I thought of all the bad luck, And all the struggles we went through How I lost me and you lost you What are all these voices outside love's open door Make us throw off our contentment And beg for something more? Chorus: I've been learning to live without you now But I miss you sometimes The more I know, the less I understand All the things I thought I knew, I'm learning them again I've been tryin' to get down To the heart of the matter But my will gets weak And my thoughts seem to scatter But I think it's about...forgiveness Forgiveness Even if, even if you don't love me anymore These times are so uncertain There's a yearning undefined And people filled with rage We all need a little tenderness How can love survive in such a graceless age? And the trust and self-assurance that lead to happiness Are the very things - we kill I guess... Pride and competition Cannot fill these empty arms And the work they put between us You know it doesn't keep us warm Chorus: I've been tryin to live without you now But I miss you, baby And the more I know, the less I understand All the things I thought I'd figured out I had to learn again I've been trying to get down To the heart of the matter But my will gets weak And my heart is so shattered But I think it's about...forgiveness Forgiveness Even if, even if, you don't love me anymore There are people in your life who've come and gone They let you down, you know they hurt your pride You got to put it all behind you; cause' life goes on You keep carryin' anger, it'll eat you up inside….. Live happily ever after And my heart is so shattered But I know it’s about forgiveness… Forgiveness Even if, even if you don't love me I've been tryin' to get down To the heart of the matter Because the flesh gets weak And the ashes will scatter So I'm thinkin' about forgiveness Forgiveness……. Even if you don't love me anymore........ Even if you don't love me anymore........ I'm not sure why this has been so stuck in my head. The song speaks of someone recovering from a relationship breakdown where the singer has been hurt, and has learned many a lesson. Yet, she forgives the person who did this to her. At the same time accepting that the relationship is still over and this person is out of her life. Forgiveness is something I make a point of doing, and I have forgiven people in my life when they have hurt me badly and in situations where other people may not have found it easy to forgive. I don't find forgiveness easy, but I value my friendship and my relationships higher than the acts that cause me hurt. But sometimes I become aware of how people will take advantage of my forgiving nature and will continue to do hurtful things because they know that I will patch over the damage when they apologise. I often think maybe I shouldn't be so quick to forgive people for what they do. But I would find that hard. My nature is to forgive people and to deal with the scars myself. I try hard to not carry the anger with me. Perhaps I should just think about what happens after the forgiveness. Do I still want these hurtful people in my life? Do I forgive and forget? Or do I forgive but never forget what they did, and therefore let it have an affect on your relationship? I would like to hope that my capacity for forgiveness would be returned to me should I do something to hurt a loved one, as it has in the past. I think forgiveness is necessary for anyone to continue on with life, whether it's being forgiven for something you have done, or being the one to forgive.  There's a bit of baby fever happening around me at the moment. Two of my friends from back home in the UK have given birth in the past couple of weeks and are flooding facebook with pictures of their gorgeous new arrivals. Meanwhile here in Prague, in addition to the babies already here, another couple I know have just announced that they are expecting a new arrival in March next year. Having never been much of a baby person, this is all very disurbing to me. I don't have the broodiness gene in me, but I figure given time I will. I think broodiness comes at a time when your body and your mental well-being are ready for something like a baby. I'm clearly not ready for it. But the change in me is that I have come round to the idea that it will happen for me. The broodiness and the baby. I can feel it already. I'm nowhere near as terrified of the thought as I used to be. I suppose a lot of it is to do with simply being around them and seeing that it's maybe not as scary as I thought. Okay, it's Sunday so it's meme time! ( A very American 'controversial' survey )   post comment

taken from mondklang [02 Oct 2008|11:29am] vanita [ mood | tired ] [ music | Renee Zellweger - Roxie ] 01. Think of the first word that comes to mind when you think of me. 02. Go to Google Images and search for that word. 03. Reply to this post with one of the pictures on the first page of results (don't tell me the word). 04. Put this in your own journal so that I can do the same. 32 comments|post comment

Hmmmmm [01 Oct 2008|08:56pm] mithmetwen [ mood | confused ] So, I have a very random localised rash on my arm, between my wrist and halfway up my arm. It looks like tiny little pinpricks, red and brown. It doesn't fade when I press a glass to it. I'm concerned.......... BUT......it's only there - nowhere else. I haven't any other symptoms. It's not itchy or anything. It just appeared this morning. Weird. Very weird. 1 comment|post comment

navigation [ viewing | most recent entries ]